The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Leah & Dr. Willow: From Eros to Mania - The Spectrum of Ancient Greek Love Types

January 30, 2024 Leah Piper, Dr. Willow Brown Season 2 Episode 72
The Sex Reimagined Podcast
Leah & Dr. Willow: From Eros to Mania - The Spectrum of Ancient Greek Love Types
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode, Leah and Dr. Willow explore nine ancient Greek words for different types of love. They discuss the meanings and nuances of eros (sexual/passionate love), philia (soulful friendship), storge (familial love), pragma (longstanding love), ludus (playful/fun love), mania (obsessive love), meraki (wholehearted creativity), philiautia (self-love), and agape (unconditional love). 


SHOW HIGHLIGHTS:

  • Eros represents sexual desire and attraction while also encompassing a sense of aliveness and openness to what draws you in
  • Philia refers to soul connections with friends, family, and romantic partners 
  • Storge describes the familial love & the natural devotion and care felt between family members.
  • Pragma refers to mature, long-term love built on shared goals, compromise, and commitment 
  • Mania can manifest as obsessiveness and emotional instability in relationships
  • Meraki involves doing something wholeheartedly and creatively with love and devotion  
  • Philiautia is described as self-love; it provides the foundation on which healthy love with others is built on.
  • Agape refers to unconditional, spiritual love, often described as the ‘love for all’.
  • Ludus represents a joyful, playful expression of love characterized by fun, laughter, casual connections, and sensory pleasures.


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Leah:

Leah Piper with Sex Reimagined.

Willow:

And Dr. Willow Brown, so glad you're here.

Leah:

How do you define love, my friends? The ancient Greek philosophers have already done the work and they have defined nine different types of love. I bet you've heard of that. Well, these nine words for love are going to help you understand how complicated this feeling can really be.

Willow:

Absolutely. So as you tune in with us and turn on your love light, fall in love with yourself for crying out loud because inside of you is the deepest love that you'll ever find.

Leah:

Yep. Here we go.

Announcer:

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Leah:

how many of you out there know about the Greek names for love? Hmm? Willow, do you know all nine?

Willow:

I definitely do not know all nine. I'm learning as we go. But I'd say the one that I am most familiar with, and probably all of our listeners are the most familiar with, is the word, the Greek word Eros, which comes from, um, there was actually a god named Eros. And he was out there shooting arrows in people's hearts to get them to fall in love with each other. So that's where the little cupid concept came from. And Eros is, um, where we get those terms erotic and erotica. And it's really much more in the vein of sexuality and sensuality than some of the other words for love.

Leah:

well, I think just to kind of hang out in Eros for a minute, um, it's really about like desire and attraction. And so although we oftentimes relate it to that sexual attraction between two people, it's also a way of sort of being in the body and being in your life. If we were to take a more modern, um, viewpoint into the word Eros, it's, it's noticing what gives you aliveness, what turns you on, what plugs you into desire, what is magnetic in your world? And I know for me, taking a look at Eros, who I was really inspired by, um, Oh, she's been a teacher of your Elayne! Elayne!

Willow:

Elayne Kalila Doughty

Leah:

She's been on the podcast, and I will put her I'm going to be talking about that episode in the show notes because it left a big impression for me. And ever since that episode, I've been looking at Eros in a much bigger way and tuning into what's pulling me forward. What is it about this? Attraction, whether that's, you know, something I want to buy at the grocery store to cook that night, or it's a beautiful smelling flower, or it's a beautiful person, what is it about them that opens me, that draws forth Eros and desire and, um, a feeling of attraction and openness. So that's one of the things you can look for.

Willow:

Yeah, absolutely. And I want to say some people I feel like lose their way with Eros, you know. If you're if you're dropped, if you've fallen into a really tough spot in life or your dealing with aging parents or cancer or anything that's taking your life into a downward direction it can be hard to find, like, where are the thing that spark any desire in me? Where are the things that spark any sort of passion in me? And so that's why looking at eros from this more nuanced perspective of like, okay, that orange over there is sparking some desire in me, is sparking some eros. We want to find those little easy to find places, um, you know, or just more subtle places in our lives where we can feel a sense of passion, a sense of I want to go toward that, and give energy to that because that starts to build more of that energy in your life.

Leah:

Yeah. And, and a common mistake is that people will confuse lust with romantic love. And those are different. Sexual attraction can be such a potent and overwhelming sensation and it can kind of fool the brain and cause some questionable decision making. So you really want to be aware of what your desire is and how it's going to open you or others before you just jump on it. And, um, and to just keep in mind that it's such an essential part of romantic relationship. Romantic love is different than Eros, but romantic love when there is Eros is like, um, um, yummy, yummy, yummy. Those are the things we want to cultivate, especially with long term relationships.

Willow:

Yeah, absolutely. So the next one we're going to talk about, you probably haven't heard this word, but it's a philia. Philia actually means soul connection. So this, um, isn't necessarily in the erotic or the, um, that deep desire, drive, craving, that sexual nature. But, it could be. Um, there could, and there could also just be more of a platonic feeling about this. This could be just between friends, it could be just between family members, but there's like a strong soul connection with this. I think that's the distinction.

Leah:

Yeah. You know, when you like meet someone maybe for the first time or the second time and man, it's like, you just like them. You're like, I feel like I've known you forever. And suddenly you're telling each other your secrets. There's a feeling of I can confide in this person. And the love and the connection goes really deep. It's kind of like our soul family, the family that we choose, this sort of relationship. Really connected, soulful friendship. And if you're lucky, you will have that same kind of friendship with your spouse, because, um, it's good to be friends with your spouse.

Willow:

yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like, yeah, that deep soul connection between you and your romantic partner is going to make that relationship last longer and be healthier for sure. So looking for Philia within the Eros is a fantastic way to go. And then also looking for philia, which is I like the spelling of things when I'm listening to podcasts. It's a P H I L I A. So there you go for those of you who like that spelling to really visualize the word. Um, looking for that just in your relationships, in your relationships with your siblings, your relationships with your dear friends, um, just any kind of close relationships in your life.

Leah:

Yeah, I think, um, uh, it's, it's been known that the Greek philosopher Plato believed that the combination of Philia and Eros was the highest form of love. Friendship between lovers, which we were just talking about. And it's something that I've repeated a number of times having learned it from Charles is that especially in in marriage You want to put your friendship higher than any other because when you treat your partner like your friend It's a it's a good way to go.

Willow:

Yeah, I love that little Charlesism where he says, Friendship is the highest form of relationship. It's really sweet. Alright, so our, our next one, our third of nine is Storj. Storj, S T O R G E, is all about the devoted sense of love. So, um, Your, your family, your, um,

Leah:

Your mom, your dad, your siblings, your grandma, uh, your cousins. It's that, it's the bond that you have with those family members and oftentimes it can be one sided. So an example of that is, you know, a parent for a child. Where the role is that parents just devotion and care. It's like some, you've probably seen this, like some parents just feel like, if not all parents, it seems like their heart is, is on their sleeve when it comes to their kid.

Willow:

yeah, you hear that a lot. Parents say, oh, it looks like my little heart is running around outside of me And you don't have control over it after a certain number of years, you know

Leah:

and so that's a desire to want to care for that child to help them feel secure and safe. And and a parent doesn't always expect anything in return, right? It's not like they're going. Hey, I paid the bills last month And when you're 18, you're gonna owe me a lot of money.

Willow:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not happening with this type of love. This is a, um,

Leah:

it's like biological and instinctual

Willow:

yeah, yeah. So that's storage for y'all. The next one we're gonna cover is a pragma. P R A G M A. I had not heard of this, but really good to know about. It's the mature love. So the love that goes on between, you know, long term partnerships or husband and wife, um, especially those who are raising kids and having families. And so that, that deep sense of, um, of partnership for the, for the whole, for the good of the family and the whole.

Leah:

Yeah, I think that could also be experienced in the workplace, um, when you have a passion project or you are connected to people with a shared goal. Um, you're a part of a family business that, like, you really care about. Um, so. It's, it's based on duty and, again, shared goals and, um, there's a reason for it and it, they say it's not the most exciting of all the love types. Um, you know, you can certainly find it in families and in friendships. And there's something about making personal sacrifices and compromise and making agreements that also work for the betterment of the whole. Um, you might be thinking about, again, career choices. What's best for your relationship? You know, when you're considering, um, your family has, maybe your spouse has an opportunity to get a better job, but it's across the country, you know, do you move or do you stay where you are? Those kinds of things is where you really Pragmatic.

Willow:

Pragmatic, pragma love. Yes, so they say you know it's maybe the most difficult to develop and to maintain because of that sense of like giving up your own desires and your own needs for the good of the whole but it is yeah there's also real like a Bodhisattva kind of ness to it that's what I think of that's where my brain goes.

Leah:

All right, number five.

Willow:

The ludus, the playful love, like ludicrous, kind of, like crazy, it's L U D U S, ludus, um, and it's totally the polar opposite of pragma, like it's just like, let's just play and have fun and be wild and let go of our responsibilities and just be more, more hedonistic and more in that casual way of loving other.

Leah:

Flirting and teasing, seduction, even casual sex. It's like, I always think of it as kind of like being a kid and being on your bike and just going all over town and laughing and buying candy and getting slurpees and, you know, laying in the grass and looking at the clouds and all those, all those things. That's what it brings to mind for me.

Willow:

yeah. These kinds of, this kind of love, like could, could be really, can be judged, can be highly judged by our society. And I think it's, it's undervalued, it's certainly judged, but also undervalued. So there's, um. There's a way that this kind of love is so good for your soul, it can add years to your life. It's so good for you to just be in that more frivolous, carefree, fun loving, you know, anytime I'm at a festival and just kind of running around and connecting with this person over here. And then connecting with this person over there and just You know, connecting with myself on the dance floor. That's really this ludus kind of love, just being in love for the sake of being in, capital I, capital N, love.

Leah:

Right, so I think a lot of people might confuse Ludus with Eros because there's some similarities. But it's not limited to a physical or sexual relationship. Like Willow just said, dancing. You can have fun drinking, smoking a joint with somebody. It's like sensory pleasures that You can share with those you trust or share with new friends, whatever the case may be. It's the love that reminds us to play and be free.

Willow:

Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So number six. Now this one, you probably have heard of before, although you probably don't think of it as a type of love, but this is a Greek word for love. It's mania. M A N I A, mania, and it's all about like obsessive love, obsession with another person or a dream you've had with another person or just anything to do with an obsession.

Leah:

yes, a maniac.

Willow:

Maniac. a maniac, maniac.

Leah:

it can be combined with hedonistic eros and, um, it's really never combined probably with pragma. Um, mania often manifests itself through anxiety and emotional instability, jealousy and possessiveness. So, you know, those stalking behaviors.

Willow:

Yes, it sounds very, um, destabilizing to me, the mania kind of love. I feel like I tend to steer clear of that in my life, just because it takes a lot of energy away from what your, you know, purpose is.

Leah:

Yeah, it can, you can really, um, develop some unhealthy fixations and certainly some obsessions. Now, during the early stages of a relationship, they say, um, excess of mania that is unbalanced by other forms of love can lead to depression. And violence and even stalking, all of those things. So there may be periods where you feel a little manic. Um, as you're developing a relationship, where I see mania coming into long term relationships is sometimes if someone's cheating and you have someone that is like feeling like something's off, and it seems like they may be obsessing over it, or maybe someone isn't cheating, but one of the partners thinks they are, and they just get into a tailspin. If there's not enough other healthy elements balancing that relationship, then the mania could become very detrimental and unhealthy. But if there's little moments where we overreact or we get obsessive over something, it doesn't necessarily mean that your partner is going to turn into, uh, you know, A maniac. They're just having some mania.

Willow:

Yeah, you know, in Chinese medicine, we look at the heart as holding this like hyperactive emotion of love and joy, this kind of manic state. And so if the, if there's an imbalance in the fire element in your body or in your life, which the heart is related to the fire element, then there is There's more of an opportunity for this mania to develop, and I don't know, what do you think about this, Leo, as you were talking, I was thinking, I feel maybe these days there's more opportunity for people to drop into mania, especially younger generations as they're coming into Their adulthood because they don't maybe have the same sort of sense of, um, sovereignty or, or, uh, core within themselves. It's like we're, I feel like what's, what we're all doing is we're looking outside of ourselves for validation. We're looking outside of ourselves to be acknowledged and to get the love and the, you know, the, the dopamine hits that we want to be getting. I was sitting with a girlfriend the other night. I'm like, so show me this. Hinge and bumble thing because I've never been on a dating app, you know, it's like let me just look at yours and I was like, she's like look it's a match into this whole like Confetti went across her screen and I was like, wow, what a dopamine hit you get from that every time she's like, yeah, it's really fun. I could just see like her addiction to it. And I was, I was just observing. I was just watching no judgment. I mean, but, but it is sort of the world that we're living in and people are meeting each other that they would never otherwise meet for better, for worse. Uh, through these, through these types of apps, and, and so anyway, back to my point of like, we're reaching outside of ourselves for validation, I feel like there's more opportunity to drop into mania based on that, of course everyone's on their own individual journey, but what are your thoughts?

Leah:

Well, I think you really make an interesting point and I don't, I'm sure due to our technology having advanced so much since we were younger, um, It can be even more crazy making. Uh, I know, so yes, I do believe there's probably an increase in what we could label as mania. I remember when I had a breakup, two significant breakups, uh, early, early on in my young, later teen, early 20 years, and just like. It wasn't that I was stalking them, but I couldn't stop thinking about them. And every time the phone rang, I was hoping it was them. And there were times that I would call, but they wouldn't answer. And I remember like driving around in the car and sort of driving near the places that they hung out and hoping I would see them outside, hoping I would run into them in one form or another, visiting the bars that they visited too, um, in the hopes of just getting any amount of attention. And that was really painful. And I thought, and I think that is a kind of a good example of a little bit of mania love, where you're kind of desperate for their attention and for their acknowledgement and for them wanting you. And you know, when they don't, they don't and you eventually heal. But I remember a lot of car rides, looking, listening to sad songs, thinking about a couple of different boys and, um, interesting time in life.

Willow:

Yeah, those are hard times and they happen at all different times of your, uh, you know, looking for love journey. So no matter what age you're at. So if you're in that state, our hearts go out to you because we get it. We know, we understand, it's hard stuff. And, um, and I think the solution is It's to come back home to your own inner beloved and really nurture and find that, um, that, that universal sense of self love inside of yourself for, for healing the mania that could potentially take its grip on you. Okay. So next word we're going to look at here, I never heard of this one before. It's Meraki, M E R A K I, which is all about creativity. So could have a sexual element.

Leah:

Yeah, to do something wholeheartedly with love, creativity, and devotion. So think now on, you know, your favorite pursuits, you know, your favorite sports, your favorite hobbies, your favorite ways to pass the time where, you know, it just opens you, brings you joy. It's a wholehearted experience. I really love this one.

Willow:

You know, it makes me think of one of the yoga sutras, which is Ishvara Pranidhana, which is, they say of all the, you know, different sutras, which are like the 10 commandments of yoga, like, this is the one that if you really just devote your, your creativity and your essence to, to God, if you devote your, your craft to the universe, to the one, to the most high, you know, to Spirit, then everything else falls into place. So I love this, um, Meraki from the Greeks, which is really about like devoting your essence, your creativity to, um, to whatever it is that really lights you up.

Leah:

Well, what's interesting, I think what you just described in terms of like devoting it to whatever spiritual. You know, faith you have. I think we're going to find that one in Agape,

Willow:

Oh.

Leah:

A little bit down the list. Um, whereas I think this is really, you know, having us consider what opens in you that opens your heart when you look at like a poem. So, this is just a little snippet of a little portrait, like a really beautiful picture, you know, of, of something that just takes your breath away, or maybe it's somebody special. Or, you know, there's a couple pictures of Matt's grandparents when they were just falling in love. And it's like, you feel the essence of that so beautifully. Um, and I often feel, uh, is it Meraki?

Willow:

Yeah, Meraki?

Leah:

I feel that when I'm cooking, like I made a beautiful roast chicken last night and I'm gonna make Matt's favorite meal, which is a homemade chicken pot pie. I make the crust myself. It's very buttery and lovely. It's not on the diet plan. It's rich and delicious. Um, and I love like the whole process of like Picking out the most beautiful produce and picking, uh, and cutting the chicken with so much awareness and the way I make the gravy. It's definitely a wholehearted. Um, meditative, joyful thing I get to do and I think the other thing that I really love that would fit in this category, which I also did yesterday, is I love to organize a drawer and put things into categories and label them and, and sometimes I color code them and I'm always looking for the boxes that are going to fit the drawer just right. Um, so like the joy of organizing, I mean, I get that book, you know, really the show. Um, makes total sense in my world. So what are some of the things that you do wholeheartedly, Willow, that sort of spark your creativity and, and your devotion to, you know, your hobbies, I guess.

Willow:

Yeah, I'm always asking myself that. I'm like, what are my artistic expressions? Because a lot of it bleeds into my work, but I, I mean, I love to write. I love to just free write and creative writing and um, and then I love to, I love to cultivate my essence, whether that's doing Qigong or running on the beach or, you know, just Um, doing a, a sex magic practice or something along those lines. It's really, sometimes I wonder, God, do I have anything outside of my work that I love to do? because I'm not a big cooker. I love to cook like a good soup, but, you know,

Leah:

but you're a great cook,

Willow:

I'm a good cook. It's not like I, it's not like I want to get in the kitchen, you know. And, um, I think, uh, other than that, I love to sing. I really love to sing. I love to play the harmonium or the rattle or the guitar and just belt it out.

Leah:

Yeah. Love that. Yeah, you're it seems like your artistic expression so much is like in the movement of your body and in your breath and the way that you Yeah, express express yourself through. Yeah yoga and even like going on these walks and walking through a What's it called? It's like a spiral

Willow:

Portal?

Leah:

Well, it actually is a portal,

Willow:

Oh, the, um,

Leah:

it's a certain path.

Willow:

uh huh, the labyrinth,

Leah:

Labyrinth! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you will notice those things before anyone else does.

Willow:

I'm always doing witchy things. I think that's my, that's my creative expression. putting, uh, putting stuff in the cauldron and doing a whole ceremony and a ritual around it.

Leah:

In fact, if you ever get the privilege and the chance to do Qigong with Willow, it is very much a nature Forward, artistic way of being in your breath and in your body and it's gentle and it's beautiful and it's, it looks almost like dancing. It's, it's such a beautiful art form and Willow, please, if you're listening to this and you want to try this out, let's convince Willow to do a weekly online Qigong class where we can all gather and practice that beautiful love form where we can get more Meraki in our world.

Willow:

Yeah,

Leah:

Would you do that Willow? How many, how many people do you need to contact you for you to make that commitment?

Willow:

Ah, let's say 25.

Leah:

All right, that's easy.

Willow:

Come on, 25. Hit me up. Let's do it.

Leah:

All right. I'm gonna go ask Google how to pronounce it

Willow:

Okay. Cause it looks like Philia Tia, Tia, I can't even pronounce it, but it's self love. So this was, um, you know, the Greek philosopher Aristotle believed that this level of self love is the prerequisite to loving others. I'm going to have to agree with Aristotle, I think he's right. Healthy self love is absolutely crucial for every single sector of your life. From your health, to your home, to your family, to your finances. If there's a deep sense of self love, than everything else will follow. To, whenever things get challenging in the outer world, in outer relationships, or in the outer environment, you can always come back to loving yourself more deeply and more fully, no matter what's going on in your life. Did you get the pronunciation?

Leah:

Yeah, and take a look at it. I posted it for you to see philativa

Willow:

Ah, yes, you did, and it's right

Leah:

Yeah. I think this is such a, um, like a number one love. I would probably put it at the top of any of these.

Willow:

the most important.

Leah:

It's the most important. It affects everything you do. It affects every choice you make. It affects who you attract into your life, who you do relationship with. Um, I, uh, I really struggled with this one. You know, I've probably mentioned on other episodes, just like the, the depth of self loathing I once experienced in my life. And to really confront that inner critic and, and learn to turn the volume up on that self approving, loving, precious voice that truly sees your essence. My God, do all the work you can do to get there if you, if you're not there now. Um, Willow, what do you do to, or, you know, what do you do for yourself or how do you coach somebody else if they're really struggling with self love and they're, and they're up against feeling worthless?

Willow:

Yeah, it's a really challenging place to be. And I think that we've all been there. So there's a lot of understanding and compassion. And, you know, when I'm working with myself or with another, I think that's the number one thing to meet someone with is compassion. Like, hey, you've been through some shit, you've been through some hard stuff. Stuff so it makes sense that you're feeling this level of hopelessness or this level of self-loathing. And let's take a look at where that lives in your body. You know? So I can do this for myself, do a Somato emotional release practice, or I can do it with a client. I can do it virtually or I can do it in person. And it's just about going and finding that place inside of your body where that self-loathing or that lack of self-worth lives and becoming friends with it, getting to know it, and listening to it. And understanding what wisdom it has for you. Like, why is it there, and what does it really want you to know at this point in your life? And so we listen in all different kinds of ways, visually, auditorially, And, um, it's really nice to have someone guide you through this. In fact, when I was going through a recent, really challenging time, I had someone else hold space for me for, to do this, uh, practice and it was a much, much easier to go through the practice and to get the wisdom that I needed to get out of it when I wasn't having to hold the space for myself at the same time that I was going through the practice.

Leah:

That makes so much sense. And also, because it's not, it's like you want to listen to the voice, and what you're listening for is the wisdom in what the part is, is trying to say that they need. It's not about listening to the voice and believing the criticism. You know, those are two important distinctions. Um, and parts work is such a beautiful type of being with yourself wholeheartedly. I think also people sometimes think self love. I mean, maybe they confuse that with. Um, being selfish or full of themselves or arrogant or, oh, they always brag or, you know, this idea, um, that they're full of themselves. And that's is, this is about healthy self love and it's not arrogant, it's, it's not that you, hold yourself as superior to anyone else just because you love yourself. It's really about holding themselves in high regard the way that they hold other people in high regard. And, um, and, and that there's a certain resilience that we attain when we have a healthy awareness of self love. We're not always looking for external validation or we're compulsive about needing approval. Um. And so therefore you have an ability to be self reflective and also you have more, you're more aware of being inclusive of their people in your world and knowing what their struggles are.

Willow:

Yeah, yeah, I know it's really just about self acceptance, like loving yourself for who you are, not who you think you should be

Leah:

not what you

Willow:

think you should be or who you wish you were, you know, it's like, it's about meeting yourself. That's another medicine of the heart is that deep level of acceptance. Um, meeting yourself where you are and accepting yourself as you are does not mean that you're not going to grow, evolve, and become more. It just means that you're actually acknowledging that You know, you're at this stage and this point on your journey, and, and it's all really important. We don't want to miss one of the stepping stones. If we miss a stepping stone, we're, we're bypassing and we're hopping over something that could be exactly what we need. Seven or eight stepping stones from now. So, this type of self love, phila tia. Fi lav tia is how you pronounce it. Fi lav tia. So it's P H I L A U T I A, but it's pronounced fi lav tia. And it's um, it's, yeah, as we've been saying, it's the most important kind of love and it's the foundation of all the other love that you feel in your life.

Leah:

Yeah. And if I could just like wrap up. This with that. It is a, it's really about knowing that you you matter, and it's not about what you do, it's just that that's who you are. You are worthy of love. You are love. That is your essence and of story, and your worthiness is not dependent on what you achieve.

Willow:

That's right. Yeah. And when you truly, truly know that, you know, you're, you're less likely to look outside of yourself for that, for that validation.

Leah:

And you're also more equipped to shine that out to other people who need to know it. You become a reflection and you end up giving permission for other people to see that in themselves and I love that.

Willow:

Yeah. It's really beautiful. It's magnetic. Okay. Final one.

Leah:

Agape. Unconditional love. Yeah, you've heard that one.

Willow:

Yeah, so unconditional love. What does that really mean? That means to love without putting conditions on people. I mean, it's really quite an amazing feat to do. I think loving your children unconditionally is probably the most common than the easiest. So that people experience that humans experience in a lifetime. But to really like love your partner unconditionally, I mean, have you put that into practice lately? Because it's a challenging one. There's always like something that you want them to do so that you'll do this. You know, there's a, it's a relationship. So there's a lot of give and take. But to love them, no matter what they choose to do or not do is the practice of Agape.

Leah:

Yeah, you know, I can see that in some people that I know who've had to get a divorce, but they've kept the love. You know, it's like, I love you and we're going to walk separate paths for a while. I think another place that people might really be able to relate to agape, this unconditional love, is with their pet. And even though you don't always love it when they make a mistake on the floor, they chew up something important like an expensive shoe. Um. You just, your heart fills when you're with them. They make life more precious. And I think practicing agape, um, I think people experience agape when they're in deep prayer, when they're in meditation, when they're practicing their faith, um, when they feel that sense of like belonging to the whole. And it's like grace. I think when we are experiencing a moment of grace, that's like the purest form of agape where unconditional love is being shined on us.

Willow:

Mmm, and it's like, it overshadows everything else. It overshadows all the, all the conditions, all the problems. All the, um, you know, relationship human stuff that gets in, in. When you're in that divine union with spirit, when you're in that place of pure agape or pure consciousness or pure love, there's nothing else really matters. There's a lot of pressure and weight gets taken off of your mind and your heart because nothing else really matters. It's being in a state of coherence. We were just talking about that on another interview. And it's where the mind and the heart are like tick tocking at the same, at the same channel, at the same wavelength, like they're on the same, you know,

Leah:

Frequency.

Willow:

There you go.

Leah:

Yeah, you know, I think of, um, also like this agape does not, doesn't require for it to be returned. If you think that someone has to now love you unconditionally, it's not a trade. Unconditional love is just for you to experience and feel. And there's a couple of prayers that I think lead people into unconditional love. One is the, um, loving kindness

Willow:

Uh huh, uh huh.

Leah:

Which I think is just is so beautiful. I love it. Um, if you want to know more about the loving kindness meditation I've got a cheat sheet. You can practice it. Just Email support@sexreimagined.com. We'll make sure you get a copy and then there is the Ono Pono prayer Did I say that

Willow:

Yeah. Mm-Hmm? The Hawaiian Prayer. I love you. I forgive you. Uh, I forget how it

Leah:

I'm sorry. Hey, please forgive me. We probably said that out of order,

Willow:

We definitely did. But you guys know, those of you who know, know, you can look

Leah:

it's so beautiful. I was at a workshop once and, we, there was a voice, coach there and she led us through the most beautiful singing meditation of that prayer. And just, it's just, everyone was crying as you sort of review your life and think about everyone you want to just bestow that to, including yourself. And, um, it's such a beautiful practice of unconditional love, of walking your way back home to unconditional love. So

Willow:

saying that prayer. That's a good one. Let's all start saying that prayer to ourselves. Okay, it goes, I love you. Thank you. Please forgive

Leah:

forgive me. I'll put it in the show notes.

Willow:

we'll put it in the show notes.

Leah:

It's only four sentences. How

Willow:

we're, we're missing one.

Leah:

I thank you. Please forgive me. I love you.

Willow:

You're awesome. I'm sorry.

Leah:

forgive me. I love you. Thank

Willow:

Yeah, yeah. That's it.

Leah:

Yeah, ding ding

Willow:

Alright, y'all. Well, enjoy that prayer and enjoy your deep sense of agape and self love and um, and all the other fun kinds of love out there, including a little bit of

Leah:

interweave

Willow:

Yeah,

Leah:

these these all work together. We don't just experience one after the other. They're not linear. They are simultaneous. So go be these beautiful Nine Greek words, but maybe keep it a little under control when it comes to mania, there's probably a wonderful way of being a true manic, um, in certain situations, like with chocolate or

Willow:

I think it's just about being in total rapture in joy.

Leah:

Rapture. Yes. All right, y'all, you go have yourself a day filled with rapture and all the other kinds of love. Ciao.

Willow:

Much love, y'all.

Announcer:

Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and Positive Psychology Facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine Doctor and Taoist Sexology Teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget, your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.

Eros - Sexual Love
Philia - Soulful Friendship Love
Storge - Familial Love
Pragma - Longstanding Love
Ludus - Playful Love
Mania - Obsessive Love
Meraki - Wholehearted Creativity
Philautia - Love of Self
Agape - Unconditional Love