Sheri Winston, a renowned author and advocate for women's sexual health, provides groundbreaking insights on female arousal anatomy in her interview on the Sex Reimagined Podcast. With her extensive expertise, Sheri sheds light on the intricacies of the clitoris, G-spot, and lesser-known pleasure points, debunking myths and promoting a more comprehensive understanding of women's sexual experiences. Her compassionate and sex-positive approach empowers women to explore their desires, communicate their needs, and embrace pleasure on their own terms. As a midwife, educator, and author of "Women's Anatomy of Arousal," Sheri Winston revolutionizes discussions on women's sexual pleasure, providing invaluable knowledge to the listeners of the Sex Reimagined Podcast.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR:
EPISODE LINKS *some links below may also be affiliate links
Leah & Willow's King & Queen of Hearts Intimacy Toolkit is on sale. Use Coupon Code KINGANDQUEEN10 for 10% off. https://www.sexreimagined.com/the-king-and-queen-of-hearts
Awaken Arousal Oil Lubricant "I had a 3-minute orgasm and then a 5-minute orgasm." - Beth https://exploreforia.com/awaken-so?irclickid=wyXW6byI5xyNWouwIoQAUS1GUkAx4m1JsS6bSc0&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=Impact&utm_campaign=Sex%20Reimagined&utm_c
SxR Hotline | SxR Website | YouTube | TikTok | Pinterest | Instagram | Dr. Willow's Website | Leah's Website
Sheri Winston, a renowned author and advocate for women's sexual health, provides groundbreaking insights on female arousal anatomy in her interview on the Sex Reimagined Podcast. With her extensive expertise, Sheri sheds light on the intricacies of the clitoris, G-spot, and lesser-known pleasure points, debunking myths and promoting a more comprehensive understanding of women's sexual experiences. Her compassionate and sex-positive approach empowers women to explore their desires, communicate their needs, and embrace pleasure on their own terms. As a midwife, educator, and author of "Women's Anatomy of Arousal," Sheri Winston revolutionizes discussions on women's sexual pleasure, providing invaluable knowledge to the listeners of the Sex Reimagined Podcast.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL HEAR:
EPISODE LINKS *some links below may also be affiliate links
Leah & Willow's King & Queen of Hearts Intimacy Toolkit is on sale. Use Coupon Code KINGANDQUEEN10 for 10% off. https://www.sexreimagined.com/the-king-and-queen-of-hearts
Awaken Arousal Oil Lubricant "I had a 3-minute orgasm and then a 5-minute orgasm." - Beth https://exploreforia.com/awaken-so?irclickid=wyXW6byI5xyNWouwIoQAUS1GUkAx4m1JsS6bSc0&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_source=Impact&utm_campaign=Sex%20Reimagined&utm_c
SxR Hotline | SxR Website | YouTube | TikTok | Pinterest | Instagram | Dr. Willow's Website | Leah's Website
Sheri Winston is a holistic sexuality teacher, groundbreaking, award-winning author and teacher who offers empowering and entertaining erotic education for everyone. She is a rad woman and she will teach you so much about anatomy of arousal. Particularly women's anatomy of arousal and secret maps to buried pleasure. She's just such a incredible wealth of wisdom, and you are going to love our interview with her.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yes, if you are a vulva owner or if you are a lover of vulva owners.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Of all the
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:You do not want to miss this episode, it is so important. There's so many things we were never told, and she is going to break it down and inspire you. You're going to change your belief system around vulvas and you are going to be connected to so much more pleasure. I'm here to testify.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:That's right, baby.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:To bear witness to the reality of Sheri Winston throw in down some wisdom that the body can absorb, assimilate, and change, sister and brother, and people.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:That's right. So tune in, turn on, and fall in love with the one and only.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:love with Sheri baby.
Announcer:Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Hey, Sheri.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Welcome. Sheri Winston, one of our favorite authors and women in the health and sexuality world. Oh my God, she's a mastermind, A wizard of anatomy, sexual anatomy, which we're going to learn about today. And you know, kind of how it plays a role in shame and holding us back from our pleasure and when we don't understand it.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah, I have to say Sheri, more and more I'm meeting other colleagues and sex experts in our world, and so many of them mention you as being one of their teachers, of having just great admiration, of having learned so much, and that's certainly true for us. We're so happy to have you back.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, it's my pleasure, that's for sure.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:So I know today we're going to look at shame through the lens of anatomy, because that's really your specialty. So where would you like to dig in to this topic today?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, so just to give a frame of reference of my background is that I worked with women in the world of birth for 20 something years and then became a sexuality teacher. And so, female genitalia is near and dear to my heart.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:You've been all up in that business for a long time.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Long time, and what I found was disheartening because women are so ashamed of their bodies and their genitals in particular. And have so much shame around their sexual abilities or their challenges in sex. And it's also the fact that so many women think that whatever they have, whatever equipment they have, it's not normal. way back when I was a midwife and nurse practitioner, I'd be going to give a woman a pelvic exam, and I had learned from one of my earliest teachers to give an empowering pelvic exam. To give women the best pelvic exam they ever had. Not only that they would be comfortable, but they would learn all sorts of things. And so I would constantly be saying to women, you know, asking permission and all that. You know, may I touch you? Yes. All that good stuff. And then I would describe what I was seeing and then say how normal it was.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Beautiful.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I cannot tell you thousands of women have gone, It is, really? Because I was sure that it was, you know, fill in the blank. Too big, too small, funny looking, the wrong color, the wrong shape. And it was, you know, I go way back like bc you know, the old days before computers, right? And so women didn't have a lot of places to see genitals.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And when the internet happened and internet porn, I thought, well, at least women will see other women's genitals and they'll start to realize the wonderful range of normal. And it's kind of the opposite has happened. Women are even more ashamed of how their genitals look and that's just sad.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:And then Some of them doing procedures to get their genitals to look different, to have smaller inner labia to, you know, whatever it is to this vagina plasty thing that's going on.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It's been the fastest growing segment in plastic surgery for the last 15 or 20 years.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:That's nuts.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And it's nuts and it's not even just about appearance because also some of these procedures are supposed to make sex better.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:But do they, are they, I mean, come on.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:They don't. In fact, they can make things worse they can cause scar tissue and so forth. So there's all this nonsense. We're not going to go into all the details about it, but there's all this nonsense that's being held out to women as this will solve your problem. This is why you're not getting aroused. This is why you're not having orgasms, because your anatomy is incorrect, and here we're going to fix it for you. So of course it doesn't fix it and then the women are left feeling even more Even more broken and this gets into the issue around female orgasm, which as you all know but our audience might not, is that women have a lot of orgasm challenges. Something like 10% of women haven't yet found their path to orgasm.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And, how many? 10%. Wow.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Now that's including teens, and teen women. It's notoriously difficult for women to learn, and as we go up in ages, more and more women start to learn how to get to their orgasm. Notice I said, learn how to get to your orgasm. It's a learned set of skills and abilities and everyone can learn. There's nothing wrong with you if you haven't learned yet. You just haven't had the right teachers giving you the right information. Which is why we're here.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:That's right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And of course there's a huge shame around that because women feel like there's something wrong with them. There are a lot of women who are faking orgasms because they don't want their partner to know. They don't want their partners to feel bad either because they're not doing their job and giving them an orgasm. Nobody gives you an orgasm, you. That's
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:It
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:you do.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:It comes from within.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yes. Yes. That's to cultivate yourself, sister. Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So there's just, there's all these different areas of shame associated with not understanding female bodies, female sexuality And that idea that we need to learn, we need to learn how to play our instrument. We need to learn what we've got, how it works the genius of it, the incredible, brilliant genius of our bodies. And then I think we'll have a lot more people appreciating that genius and those amazing abilities and learning how to access their pleasure and their orgasms. So that's the mission.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Here's an interesting question. What do you think we're doing right these days? I.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:What are we doing? Right? Well,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Well, Sheri Winston, first of all, Sheri Winston's writing and putting out a book on Female Sexual Anatomy. Okay, we're doing that, right? We've got that right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:There are people like you putting on summits, There is information available that was not available before. I mean, we've come a long way.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So much information, and
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Look at all the 3D clitoris is out there that are representing more of the accurate shape.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:But not all of it, but more of it.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Some of it, yeah. There's more jewelry out there.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We're getting more of the anatomy back into our cultural map, we haven't got the whole thing yet, and I
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Oh, what are we missing? missing?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Oh. That's what I want to talk about. What are we missing?
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Let's go there. Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Okay, so female genital anatomy. We're going to take a little tour and we're going to use we're going to use the pussy pillow. Let back up a little bit so we can see. I made this when I was still a midwife. That's how old she is.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:You made that one, Sheri, it's epic!
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And it's actually anatomically correct inside, which you obviously can't tell from here. But, so let's talk about female sexual anatomy. And what I'm talking about here are biological female genitals. Just to be clear these are not the genitals you would have if you started out with a penis and then had surgery to create these genitals. These would be the genitals that you would be born with if you had a vagina and a uterus. Nothing wrong with the other kind, but that's not what we're talking about. And just to say that I sometimes use the word woman, and in this case I really mean female.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We don't want to offend anyone who is a woman with a penis.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:That's right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So for people who have vaginas what we have is a set of interconnected erectile tissue structures. What's erectile tissue? A erectile tissue is what penises are made out of. So we actually know a lot about erectile tissue, we know that it starts out small and soft, and under the right circumstances, it gets big and hard. Penises have this ability to have this magic growth ability. Here's the thing, females have exactly just as much erectile tissue as males do, and that's the thing that we've been missing out on is understanding because the male equipment is pretty obvious. It's right out there. The female equipment, a few parts of it are out there, but most of it is inside. And so this is what we need to understand. Everything I'm going to tell you about now is made out of erectile tissue and it has some similarities to the penis erectile tissue, and some differences. Some things that are similar is everybody gets engorged the same way. We get aroused or something happens that sends extra blood flowing into those specialized erectile tissue structures. The blood gets trapped. The tissue's get engorged. They get big and hard and sensitive and darker in color. That's the same, but penises are kind of an all or nothing system. Right. The whole penis can be hard. The whole penis can be soft or even semi hard, but you can't have the head of the penis be hard and the shaft be soft. That doesn't work that way with penises. Female erectile tissue is a little different because there's separate structures connected, but separate. So here we go, let's go under little tour. So we're going to start with the head of the clitoris. Wee. The head of the clitoris. This is just the head. This isn't the whole thing. That's one thing that anatomy books are starting to get right. They're starting to understand there's more to the clitoris than the head, but the head is a remarkable and very special structure. It's got more nerve endings than any other structure in the male or female body. It is super sensitive, designed for pleasure, but it's just the tip of the volcano. Now, if we could go above, here's the head above it, right under here is the shaft of the clitoris. You can kind of pinch it and play with it and give it little, tiny, little tiny clit jobs like that. Right? Here's the shaft, this is erectile tissue under here. At the base of the shaft, we have like a wishbone. And we've got these two legs, one on either side that run down here, and they literally anchor the clitoris to the bones of the pelvis. See this little art here in the front? That is where the legs run along there like that.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And they can be three or four inches long. Now...
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:three or four?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:The thing about finding all of these things, which is what I recommend, right? If you own the equipment, do your home play assignment and go find all these things. If you don't own the equipment, you'll need a lab partner to do your home play assignment. But you could probably find someone willing, if you approach it correctly. And so I want you to find all of these things. And remember, it's erectile tissue, so the head of the clitoris, that's not really that hard to find, even though apparently there are plenty of people who still haven't found it, but it's right there. It may be covered by the hood. You may have to pull up on the hood a little bit, but it's pretty obvious. You're going to feel the shaft here. The legs under here, but the legs are going to be hard to feel until they're engorged. This is how many of these structures are going to be when they're not engorged. You're going to go, you're going to kind of dig in here and feel around and go, I don't know what she's talking about. There's nothing in there. But at high level arousal, this is why your home play assignment should be done at non arousal, mid-level, high level arousal, so you can feel and find the changes. At high level arousal. You're going to find the tops here and here, so you're going to kind of press in, and you're going to feel around and you're going to feel these structures. They're about, oh, like the diameter of a chopstick. And then you're going to go, oh, that's them. There they are. Yeah. And the great thing about finding all of these things is often you find new places to play because if you've never put pressure here during sexual arousal play, you wouldn't know that there's something fun there to play with. Right now you do. All right. So high level arousal, you can feel the top, the bottom part is buried under tissue, so you're not going to feel the very bottom.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:And do
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:far down does it extend? Does it go all the way down to the entroitus?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, they're, it's a wishbone, so they're, they are like that, right? So they're at an angle. and they're probably going to go down like two thirds of the way.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:But, you can't really feel the end of it.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Gotcha.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Do you feel them more easily in between the inner and outer labia or on the outer labia?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Pretty much out. It's going to be outer, on the outer edge of the outer labia.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Outer edge of the outer
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Kind of. I mean,
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Is spongy tissue or is it more like ligament?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It feels a lot like a ligament, you know, like if you're feeling in your wrist.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Like a tendon.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Right. You know how you can feel this tendon right here in your wrist? Like there, right in there.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I know know where mine are.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It kind of feels a lot like that there like that.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Yeah.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Good. What I'm feeling is true, okay. Confirmed.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yes, and I've had women tell me that adding that extra pressure right there can be really helpful in increasing your arousal. You know, one of the things about learning to play this instrument is learning how to use all the parts that you have, because sometimes we just need more stimulation, and that can vary at different times of our lives. I'm very postmenopausal and I need more stimulation than I used to. At the same time, things can get more easily irritated, right? So you really want to know you've got all these parts so that if clitoral stimulation is too irritating. You know, well, let's go to the shaft, right? Because that's going to be less likely. Or let's play with the legs right here. That's not going to be irritating. So it's great to have all this equipment in your mental map.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:If you're stimulating the legs from a soft clitoris, if you're stimulating the legs, because the clitorial head is too sensitive, it's going to ignite the head too. Then the head will get hard. Engorged. Right?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yes. In fact, that's one of the advantages of knowing about the entire network is any part that you play with is going to help the other parts get stimulated. And if you want to have the best arousal, you want the whole network activated because then you get all these different connected overlapping circuits. And I think for a lot of us, certainly for me, when I first started having sex, I thought it was all about the head of the clitoris. Like this was it, this was what you played with, this was how you had orgasms. And you can do that, there's nothing wrong with playing with that and having orgasms that way. There's no wrong way to have orgasms, although I've had women who thought there, there were wrong ways. But this is like singing and playing the guitar. It can sound amazing and awesome and beautiful, but when you get the whole band, when you get an orchestra, right, the music you can make the breath and depth and variety expands exponentially. And so we want to know that we've got this whole orchestra of instruments. All right, so three parts of the clitoris. The next area is the vestibular bulbs, and they're big wads of erectile tissue under here and here, one on each side. And they are like the shape of a teardrop, so they're thin up here at the top. And then they get fat at the bottom. The thin top connects to the shaft of the clitoris.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:The big fat wide part is on either side of the vaginal opening. It's almost as if Mother Nature wanted us to fuck and make babies.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. Yes.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:And enjoy it.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:I mean, can you imagine Mother Nature wanting that for us? Hello? And now the vestibular bulbs. Now what you're pointing to there encompassing the entire inner and outer labia.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:When you go to play and find them and you're going to rub around this whole area and you're going to feel'em puff up under your fingers, like the Pillsbury Doughboy, I guess it would be the Pillsbury Dough girl. Girl, this The Pillsbury Dough woman. But they get huge. And one of the mistakes we make, and I think this is a bit of a cultural problem we have around intercourse in particular, or penetration, is that we allow penetration way too soon. If we partner with penis people and they have a hard on, they're like, let's put it in. And we as guardians of the gate don't necessarily understand that's our job to go, Hmm, is my gateway ready to be penetrated? Maybe not, because if these are not big and puffy, this does not feel great.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. I need a little bit more time getting a boner. I'll be with you soon.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, I think it's helpful to understand Yeah. yoner, oh, good one.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:That's a good one.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:For many women, 30 to 45 minutes of arousal and play are needed before we're ready for penetration.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Right.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Does that mean direct stimulation or just arousal? Could be anticipation, it could be
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Anywhere in the body. Could be all
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:of it. Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah. But if,
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:because I think a lot of people hear 30 to 40 minutes of somebody rubbing my pussy, I'm going to numb out. I'm going to lose interest. And so what Sheri is saying is no, it's engaging your whole body. It's engaging your whole body in under the influence of sexuality.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:In here, don't forget here, right?
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:This is so important. Your brain's got to be in the game.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:The brain, the rest of the body, turning the whole body on. And genital play can also last a long time if it's done well with attunement to what you want, what you like.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Attunement?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Attunement.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Attunment.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Attunement is the key here and and knowing what you've got and how it works and how to play with it, so you can then teach your partners.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yes. Communication is, would be the added thing that's needed here so that you can play in the orchestra, because if there's no communication, how do all the players know the what song we're working on?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Exactly. And, in fact, I think of partner sex as being a lot like being two musicians together, right? So sometimes you're going to want to get together and just jam. And just do a spontaneous jam session. That's sex, that's what we're doing. But sometimes you want to learn something specific, you want to practice things, and that's getting together and having what I always call a playpen, but a play and practice learning game. Yes. And then sometimes you just have to talk about what's going on with your clothes on and without your instruments where you're saying, how's the music going? How are we doing? Where could we, what could we do better? You know? Is there some kind of music you want to play that we haven't been playing? Right. So I think in intimate partner relationships, at least ones that go on for any time, we want to have those three things, just like musicians would have if they were playing together. Okay.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. You know, I just want to say while we're on the vestibular bulbs this was a game changer in my experience of my own body because there was so much emphasis always on the clitoris. It felt like a map got rounded out when you introduced me to vestibular bulbs, because, you know, humping feels so good. I don't remember the last time y'all have humped, but humping feels so good. And why does it feel good? It is getting those vestibular bulbs, baby.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Broad diffuse rubbing the whole thing.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And it explained why I loved my yoni being cupped, and it explained, you know, why I like more surface attention all over my vulva, not just my clitoris. That never, it wasn't until those two worlds collided that I was like, oh, now I understand how I work. And then my arousal actually really, really, really changed.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It's exactly my experience. And when I'm teaching this, I have so many women who say the same sort of thing, where it's like when I was a teenager and you're making out, you got that thigh between your legs and it feels good, and then the clothes go flying, and then there's no more of that stimulation. And my arousal would drop and intercourse was like, yeah. I mean, it was okay, but it wasn't like, wow. You know? And once you start realizing. Oh, because we weren't stimulating, among other things, the vestibular bulbs. And I actually, this is what started me on this, what I call the hunt for buried pleasure. So I was already a massage therapist, childbirth educator, RN, nurse practitioner, gynecology nurse practitioner, and certified nurse midwife. I had studied genitals a lot. Intensively, I thought I knew everything there was to know. And I came across this book called New View of a Woman's Body, and there's a chapter on some of this anatomy and I read about the vestibular bulbs and I have such a clear memory of reading that like three times literally going, what? I've got what? And I put the book down and I got a mirror and I got a light and I looked and I played and I watched them puff up it was like my experience and my map became congruent and suddenly I was having better sex.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Talk about an inflection point.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. Well, and also how sad that after all this education, all these certifications, that it wasn't integrated into the learning process.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It It still wasn't there and it still isn't, right. The vestibular bulbs are still missing from many people's maps of the genitals. We're getting more and more people who are including them, but it's still a part that most people don't know exists. And it's really a shame because honestly we have, there's so much pleasure to be had playing with these bulbs and it really changes the experience of intercourse and most women are not orgasmic from intercourse. And you can learn how to be it's another learnable skill, but the position women are most likely to be orgasmic in intercourse is when we're on top. And when we're on top we're not like hopping up and down on the penis. We're not doing this.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:We're grinding.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We're Grinding and rubbing rolling. So we're getting all this stimulation of the whole network when we do that. And it's a good thing to note because you can also, if even if the penis owner is on top, you can still modify the type of thrusting and activities that you're doing to get more stimulation. But if you're just doing the old in and out, most women, that's not going to provide enough stimulation.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Right.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Okay. Anyway, oh, and then, and finding out about the bulbs is what got me thinking, well, what else am I missing? Right? It got me questioning. If I had learned all that and didn't know about these, what else is missing? And that's when I went on the hunt to find what else is missing. And you know what? There's more that we're missing. Surprise.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:You found quite a lot more. Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I did find more so, now we're going to go inside and the first area we'll talk about is what is now commonly called the G-spot. So there's a, if you put your fingers in and you would reach up to the roof of the vagina there is a wad of erectile tissue above the roof, but it's a erectile tissue. If it's not engorged, it's just going to feel like a vagina. You're going to go, I don't know what she's talking about. And in fact there's still this ridiculous controversy about whether this erectile tissue even exists. Part of the problem is the people who defined it and described it actually described it incorrectly. They didn't quite get it right. They described it as a round, dime size spot of erectile tissue. What it actually is a tube of erectile tissue that surrounds the tube of the urethra. So think of it like a roll of paper towels. So the urethra, that's the pee tube, goes from your bladder to your pee hole. That's like the cardboard tube in the center. And the paper towels are the erectile tissue. And when it's not engorged, it's like you're at the end of the roll of paper towels. But when it's really engorged, it's like a jumbo brand new jumbo roll of paper towels.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:New roll of paper towels.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Oh yeah, mama's got a brand new roll of paper towels. And here's a fun extra little bit, which is from outside when it's really engorged. So here's the pee hole right there.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:The urethra.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:There it is. And when this is, it's like a ring, this hair area right around here. You can actually see, you can see it and play with it.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:It's so cool.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Becomes more firm, more big, more forward.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I got to see a demo.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Because it's pushing it forward.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Sheri and it was amazing to be able to see likeyouu look like you're actually looking at like the cap of the paper towel roll, like you can feel and see the tube engorging outward. It was so cool.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It's one of these interesting things. So there's, you know, there's some scientific paper about 10 years ago about like the G-spot doesn't really exist. One of those things. And I just, I mean, honestly, I just felt like I'm going to, I want to go ejaculate on that guy and show him where it is and what it can do. Because this is also not just erectile tissue, this is also glandular tissue and we can produce fluid from these glands. In fact, I think all women when we're aroused, produce a small amount of fluid, but with lots of stimulation of this erectile tissue, we can produce more fluid and that fluid can come out. And if it comes out while we're ejaculating, it feels, oh my gosh, awesome. Like you feel like a goddess. And it's in Tantra it's considered a sacred blessing to have this fluid bathe you. But that's where it comes out of, it comes out of the pee hole and this warm and wet like pee, but it's not urine. And this is the great controversy also. All people, it's just pee, it's not pee, pee is yellow. Pee smells like pee. When you do analysis of it, it's got urea and nitrogen. This fluid does not. This fluid has the same components as prostate fluid. You know why? Because embryologically, this is the same structure that becomes the prostate in male bodies.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Ding, ding, ding. Now you know. Now you know, you've heard it from Sheri.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, and we should change the name. Because for some reason stuff in our bodies, female bodies, is named after the male bodies, but we're the default setting. So really this should be the urethral sponge. And then when for men's bodies, we should call it the male urethral sponge. Wouldn't that be fun to have something named after us
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Yes. Have the male anatomy named after the female anatomy.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It makes sense, at least, you know. It
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:makes so much more sense biologically. Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah, it does. And I'll just add, I believe that this fluid is antimicrobial and that this helps protect against urinary tract infections.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:That would make a lot of sense from some of the things I've seen. Ding, ding, ding.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah. Another ding, ding, ding. That's one of the reasons this is so much fun is because there's just all these moments of Oh, aha. Oh, that makes sense. And that's what I mean about the genius of this or the, you know, the brilliant intelligence of our evolutionary design is all this multipurpose equipment. Right.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah I want to just, I want to emphasize that what you just said, Sheri, because if you've been feeling bad about your genitals, if you have had a belief system that says, my genitals is ugly, it. I can't come. It doesn't make sense. I'm broken. I'm wrong. That element of shame that's connected to whatever story got planted into your nervous system that says you are not okay. I want you to really take in this interview and have an experience of celebration. Celebrating our vulvas, celebrating this incredible network that once we're educated, you get to see differently. You get to make a whole new story now. That it is so brilliant, it has genius wisdom, and it's so beautiful. You just have to see it through different eyes. So put on your Leah eyes, your Sheri eyes, your Dr. Willow eyes, and let's begin to rewrite some of the garbage that we've been fed that says there's something dirty, there's something gross, there's something ugly about this incredible flower you have.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:And one of the things that Sheri does so well in her book, Female Anatomy of Arousal, which if you have not read then you need to put it on the top of your book list, is she has you, she walks you on how to actually look at it yourself, how to watch it, and how to watch it grow. How to watch it engorge, how to use a mirror to actually see your own vulva with these new eyes.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah. Then you become your own expert. Instead of having experts tell us how we are or how we aren't, or what's wrong with us, or you know, all this stuff that we've been fed. That's not true. So there's more.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:There's more.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Back to the journey.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We're back to the erectile network. Let's
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:go.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So, there's erectile tissue under the floor. So if you put your fingers in this case, if you're doing it on yourself, you use your thumb, put your thumb in, and you push down towards your butt. There's erectile tissue under there. Now this erectile tissue is tucked a little further into the body. Again, mother nature, she's so wise, she knows that sometimes babies have to come out of vaginas. Yes. And when babies come out if they're born naturally and gently and lovingly, slowly and with help and guidance most women will not have any significant tearing. If you do have a little bit of tearing, it'll just be the surface of the perineum that will tear. So there's not a lot of nerve endings. This is kind of designed to be that little fail safe. That if you need a tiny bit of extra room and the baby's coming out, you can get a surface tear here. But by putting that erectile tissue deeper inside, it's protected during birth. Unfortunately, for some bizarre reason in our culture, we have doctors that like to cut episiotomies. Big cut down here because they think vaginas aren't big enough for babies to get out and an episiotomy gets a baby out maybe 15 minutes sooner. And occasionally that 15 minutes is important. If you have a baby that's in distress. In my 500 births or so that I've attended, I cut five episiotomies, right? That's, that should be the amount. That should be the right proportion, right? Where there's, there were a few times where that baby was like you're coming out now. I'm not waiting 15 minutes for you. But other than that, but what happens sometimes when doctors cut a episiotomies, they sometimes damage that erectile tissue. Of course, they don't know it's there, right? They have no idea. Nobody ever told them there's erectile tissue there you need to protect that. And so then there could be scar tissue forming in that erectile tissue, which is not good. So, how to find and feel this erectile tissue. The same thing, thumb in, push down, put your thumb in, like up to your first knuckle or maybe a little further. And when you first feel it and it's not engorged, it's all going to feel like vagina. But at high level arousal, you're going to put your, and you're going to go, oh, ooh, there's a nice juicy lump of feel good tissue in the floor. And I'll also note, it's actually in the wall between the vaginal and anal canals. And so if you're open to it, as it were, you can put one thumb in your vagina and your other finger in your anus and feel in between, and you'll feel a fat place in the wall. That's where the erectile tissue is. If you go deeper inside, you get to the thin part of the wall. Most of the wall between those two canals is thin, just like a membrane, but there's that fat place and that's where the erectile tissue is.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Now, do you know if there's any orgasmic nerve wires that go from that perineum sponge up to the brain, like the hypogastric nerve.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Nerves. Uh, You want to talk about nerves? Let's talk about nerves
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Let's
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Okay. So, again, textbooks will tell you that there's one sex nerve. And the nerve that they're talking about is is the shame nerve. The pudendal nerve.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Shame nerve.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Pudendum means shame, and the nerve is called the Pundendal nerve. There is a attempt right now to change the name. To officially change the name, which I'm thrilled by that. But throughout time it's been the pudendal or shame nerve, and that goes to the surface structures. And our pelvic floor muscles are in layers. It goes to the outer, more, most layer of pelvic floor muscles, and it goes to most of the clitoral parts of the erectile network. There's a deeper muscle. The perineal muscle, the hypogastric Nerves. So there, there's nerve pathways that go to the deep structures and nerves, nerves are like a tree. There's a big trunk, and then there's big branches, and then smaller branches and smaller and smaller and smaller. So it's not necessarily just one nerve, but it can be big branches of major nerves. But the nerves that go to the internal more structures are the nerves that include the perineal sponge. The urethral sponge is innervated by both nerve pathways. That's why it's so powerful. You get both nerve pathways.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay, sense that makes sense.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:One also goes to the uterus, which we've also been told is not a player in arousal. And that is wrong. It is.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Not true.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So we come back, we'll come back to that.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Good. Good.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We'll come back to it. So again, you want the best arousal possible. You want to make sure you're getting both nerve pathways activated and stimulated, but that's not all. We've also got the vagus nerve.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:The vagus.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:The vagus nerve. So the vagus nerve is really interesting. So we've got nerves in our brains called the cranial nerves in our skull. Pretty much all the other cranial nerves begin and end in our skull, right? It goes to our eyes, it goes to our ears. One goes just to our neck. But the vagus nerve is named because it, it wanders. It's like a vagrant. It wanders through your entire body. Connects to your heart, your lungs, your GI tract, your uterus if you have a uterus, and all of those deep structures. And so when we learn kind of advanced skills like how to have orgasms without touching ourselves or anyone else touching us, hands off orgasms, full body orgasms or chakra orgasms. You know, all these wild expanded orgasm things we're utilizing the vagus nerve. And so we've got all three nerve pathways. If again, we want the most you know, outrageous, otherworldly, spiritual kind of sex, really. So those are our major nerve pathways. And there's all sorts of interesting things about the nerve pathways to keep in mind. But the main one is the more stimulation you get to each nerve pathway, the more activated everything gets. The uterus. The uterus. Now we're done with the erectile network. We're done with that for the moment at least. But I do want to mention the uterus because again, in school I learned that the uterus had nothing to do with sex. I mean, other than growing babies, but Right.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It's all that baby, but that it had nothing to do with pleasure, with orgasm. And even when I was working, you know, as a midwife and a practitioner, I knew that wasn't true because I would have women who had hysterectomies coming in and telling me sex doesn't quite feel the same and it feels like I'm missing something that's not as powerful. Yes. And you know, they're still having orgasms but not as powerful. And what I realized is that actually the uterus is a player in arousal. The uterus isn't fixed, it moves in our body. It moves during our fertility cycle. So if you're tracking your fertility or you're just curious, if you're not on hormonal contraception, you can just put your fingers in your vagina every morning and touch your cervix and see how far back. All right. How high or low it is?
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Oh, interesting.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:All right, so when you're about to bleed right before your period, it'll be low down after your period, it'll start moving up. And when you're at the most fertile time of your cycle, it will be highest up.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Okay.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:But then when we get turned on, our uterus pulls up and up like a bow string, like a taught bow string. And when we have an orgasm, it goes and it moves up and down inside like that. It's like the base note of the orgasm because there's two rhythms, and again, if you have a uterus and you know how to have orgasms, you can find these two rhythms, you can identify them. The pelvic floor muscles do a rapid contraction, so they're going, yay, we're having an orgasm like that. And the uterus is going. Boom boom boom. At a completely different rhythm. That's what those women were missing. They're missing the
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Wow.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:base note? note
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:back to the genius
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:what about women who are on birth control?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well that just changes everything because this is hormonally mediated, so it just, everything will be different. But back to the genius of our bodies. Remembering Mother Nature wants us to make babies. That's her main agenda, is if we should make babies. So having powerful, well-timed orgasms improves fertility. So if you're having a hard time getting you want to get pregnant, learn how to have bigger, better, well-timed orgasms because when the in the ideal fertility scenario, there's a penis that has deposited a nice juicy bowl of full. Your back of your vagina is like a bowl full of semen, and immediately thereafter, you have a rip roaring orgasm and your uterus and your cervix go and suck up, suck up that sperm.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And when you say well timed, you are referring to fertility?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:For fertility. Yes. Now, keep in mind, you can't get pregnant without having orgasms. So we don't want anybody thinking, oh, I just won't have orgasms and I won't get pregnant. That's not the case. Sperm can swim. But if you want to maximize your chances of getting pregnant, then the ideal time would be to have the orgasm right after your partner ejaculates, because sperm are fragile. Sperm are very fragile. The vagina is a hostile environment for sperm. They're going to die in the vagina pretty quickly.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:It's acidic. Yeah.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:It is.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:To get pregnant, it's ideal if he ejaculates a little bit first.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:So it's basically like you're coming at the same time, more or less.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:At the same time, although
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:a hair behind him. Yeah,
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:a little bit behind him would be even more perfect. But the once during a woman's fertile time of her cycle, so there's about five days, five days that a woman is fertile of the sperm once they get into the cervix. See the cervix has these little pockets, these little glandular pockets. They're called the cervical crypts, but a crypt is a place you go to die, so I call them the sperm hotels. So there's these little pockets and the sperm, once they get into the cervix, some of them can go off trying to get the egg right away. Others will check into the sperm motels and they can live there for up to five days.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Oh wow.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We keep them alive. There's room service. There's probably porn on HBO in there. I don't know,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:There's probably a pool, there's, might be a gym. I mean, who knows
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, we have the athletic sperm. They have to go their.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:They need to go
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:We do, there's different kinds of sperm. There's athlete sperm. Their job is to get to the, to get to the egg. There's blocker sperm. Whose job is just to get in there and block it up so if any other sperm comes along, they won't be able to get in. And there's fighter sperm, and they're like little pac-men. And they will eat other men's sperm.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Wow.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:right?
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:If you're in a five day window of fertility and you fuck two different guys and one of their fighter sperms is already in there, is going to fight off the other guy's sperm.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:There's a book called Sperm Wars.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Oh my God, this is so cool.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Oh my God.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:You're partnered with somebody, talk about the brilliance. If you're partnered with somebody and you're together all the time, he'll make very few fighter sperm. And less blocker sperm. If you're apart a lot, if the more you're apart, the more fighter sperm he'll make.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Sperm, I mean, you just can't make this shit up.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:No, we'll have links to any books that are mentioned by the way, so if your mind must read more, you will have it at your fingertips. Now, I want to talk about, just for a second, infertility in relationship to what you just shared, because obviously like cortisol isn't great for getting pregnant and this idea of like having an orgasm, right? So there's all this stress that goes in when you're having fertility issues and you're trying to get pregnant and it's not successful for whatever reason, things aren't going the way, the direction you want, so you have to time having sex. And it just seems like a really bad way to have sex. So what's your advice to people struggling with infertility and, you know, leveraging this wisdom that you have?
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, the more you can keep sex fun, pleasurable, connected, intimate, the better. The more it becomes a task that you have to do it really, it sucks the joy out of it. And it is stressful. Infertility is very stressful. So anything you can do to reduce your stress is going to be helpful. But I do think that the first thing is to think about your orgasms. Are you having, powerful, well timed orgasms. If not, start there. Start with learning how to have bigger, better orgasms, which can have multiple effects because it can help keep the sex fun and pleasurable.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Now, I don't hear that advice going out there very often to people who are struggling to get pregnant. So if you know someone right now who's struggling with fertility, let's get the word out. Let's normalize that the first thing to do perhaps, is to start learning about connecting to your orgasm and being responsible for your orgasm and understanding your body so that what you're bringing to the table is more productive. Willow, I know you've helped a lot of people deal with infertility, has that come through any of your education? This idea of the orgasm?
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:I'm in Santa Cruz, California, so yes, all the midwives and all the birth workers we're all talking about like, just have a good time. Like enjoy your sexuality, you know. In other parts of the world, I'm sure the birth communities are, you know, not quite having that
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:in particular?
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:But we've just had such an incredible journey through the Female Anatomy of Arousal and I'm curious just to bring it back to our theme for this series is around shame, and so I know you're going to have some incredible wisdom to share for us, Sheri, around like, what is it about not knowing about our anatomy that causes us to, go into shame cycles or to stay stuck in a place where we feel like we're not okay as we are.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Well, our cultural maps are incomplete and inaccurate, and so we have this tendency instead of thinking, oh, that's a bad map, we think there's something wrong with me. So we have a lot of women feeling broken. Like, there's something wrong with me. Everybody else is having a great time, but I'm not, you know, it's like everybody's talking about that awesome swimming hole in the woods, and you've gone to the woods and wandered around and you never found it, so there's something wrong with you. And I'm like, no, there's nothing wrong with you. Here's a map. Here's how you get to the swiming hole, and then you'll find it. And then you'll see you just needed a good map. And so I just think that one of the keys is really having the accurate information and then what do you do with it? Do you take that information and sit yourself down and do your home play assignment and then, what I say in the book, the last step is appreciate how awesome you are and how awesome your genitals are. Like take some time and look and go, wow, that is a dramatic transformation. And start, yeah, look at what I can do. And there's all kinds of little things you can do to heal that shame, but first we just have to decide we want to, and notice. When the negative messages come up, and then we can remind ourselves. But what, look what it can do. Look at how gorgeously it blooms. How can this be anything other than sacred and beautiful and really start rewriting our programming? I think we need to talk to other women about these things.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. We need to become more comfortable talking about sexuality and talking about, the difference between our vagina and our vulva.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:That would be nice.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I mean, one of the things, the thought arose like. What are we getting wrong? You know, what are we, what are, and you just laid out a lot of things about the map that we most people don't know about. But when I kind of reflect on my own journey, it's like, okay, what's changed? There was Leah before Sheri and then Leah after Sheri. And so there's this, for me, it was definitely more attention to the whole vulva. And slowing down the, how soon I was being penetrated and making sure that like there was more sensation to my whole vulva. And so things were, and also like visually, there was a, I could touch or I could see more plumpness, a darker color. All these things helped me become more orgasmic. Is there a common thread that you would point to say, here's what if you could just simplify it in one thing, maybe two of what people are getting wrong so they know where to start.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I think you just actually covered the one of the really important ones, and that's about timing. It's about understanding that for most women, most of the time, it takes a while. And our cultural model of sex is the porn model, which is male-centered. And for most men, it does not take them very long. Their sexual energy often starts in their genitals, and then it's there. It's like, you know, it doesn't have to go anywhere. It's right where they want it. For most women, most of the time, our sexual energy starts out here. In the connection and in our brain, and then our whole body and our non-sexual parts, and then our more sexual parts, and then eventually, sooner or later, with the right encouragement and activities, it gets to our sex center. And I think it's really important to honor that and recognize that and not feel like there's something wrong with me because it takes me so long instead of going, isn't.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Get off that train.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Isn't this wonderful that we have all this time for pleasure and all this time to build it up And if best, really if we partner with men, it's really helpful for them to frame that not as, oh man, now it's going to take 45 minutes. Instead of being like, oh, we're going to have all this time to play and pleasure each other. It's going to be fun and joyful. So I think we have to really reframe the porn model. The porn model is, it's entertainment. You know, it's not, it's like learning how to parent by watching sitcoms, right? That's not where you learn.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Great analogy. God, you're the analogy Queen today.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I know.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I am. It's just that we need real sexual education that includes pleasure. How do we get pleasure? How do we give pleasure? And the communication and so forth. But we first, we have to feel entitled to it. We have to value our own pleasure enough. To let our partners know, no I'm not ready for penetration yet. Let's play some more, lets do some other fun things, and then when we get to it, it's going to be awesome.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I'm I'm glad you sort of brought up the mind, right, because, or the brain mindset matters. You know, if we are going into sex already feeling like a failure,
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Mm.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:then we're not going to be prepared for turn on. And I think for especially a lot of vulva owners, if you can get your head in the game and start to you know, seduce yourself in your own mind. Start to visualize what you want to feel, start to be aware of the sensation on your skin, just with the air, you know, start to get connected to the senses. Then you're going to be so much more primed for when you're actually touched by somebody else's hands. But like, bringing yourself to using your brain. Like it's not just your head that's getting you fucked up, it's actually a tool that you can engage.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Your imagination is one of your most powerful mind tools. And also, you know, really recognizing that we've got all these tools, all these skills, all these instruments, however you want to look at it, and that we can learn how to become a virtuoso. We can become an erotic virtuoso. We can learn how to use everything we've got to enhance our pleasure and our partner's pleasure if we have partners that it's a joyful lifelong learning journey that we can be on.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:And the free gift that you have for us, Sheri, it really it really guides women on this. The Her Orgasmic Abundance Online Class really is a way to do exactly what you're talking about.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah and again, remember that we are enmeshed in this culture of shame. And that every time we liberate ourselves, every time we free our sound every time, we free our mind, every time we pleasure ourselves and enjoy our bodies and no matter what size or shape or condition or ability. Every time we do that, we're shifting that culture first inside ourselves. But then hopefully ripple that out. We talk to our friends, we talk to our kids, you know, and we start helping other people make those shifts because that's what we all really, we really need such a big cultural shift around about not only what's possible, because that would be great and what we have, but that it's, I mean, I use the word sacred, but it doesn't have to be safe, but it is special. Our sexuality is this vital part of us and it's this very amazing gift that we've been given.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Meaning and purpose and it can enrich in our whole life and it makes life so much more satisfying and it eases the pain that we encounter. It's just such a gift. We're so lucky to have bodies. It's re-imagining a world where we are less burdened by the weight of shame, and that the trauma we encounter doesn't have to run our entire life. We can heal it and therefore we can step into deeper intimacy and have these more profound experiences.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I just have to throw heard one thing out. I just have to throw one thing out, because you just mentioned trauma and we haven't addressed trauma at all. The best time to heal trauma is when you're in a state of arousal.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Mm-hmm.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Ding ding,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:So true.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:So throwing that out there.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Fastest way to metabolize the past and get it out, so it's not blocking your future from being really,
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Yeah, when you're turned on.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Mm-hmm.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Well, thank you Sheri, once again, you have enlightened us and our audience. I always get something new from you and I want to remind everybody that you can listen to more Sheri, we go quite in depth with orgasmic birth. We talk more about these cool sperm on our first episode of the Sex Reimagined podcast. So, check it out.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Absolutely, and you can find Sheri Winston at www.IntimateArtsCenter.com as well.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. And the first thing you should do after watching this interview is go buy her book. You can get it on Amazon. because
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Start home play.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And buy one for a friend because we do need to engage this whole thing differently, You won't be sorry.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:I had a friend who bought nine copies. I'm like, nine copies. She goes, I've got nine siblings.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:There you go. Everyone needs it.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Maybe that'll be everyone's Christmas gift this year. All right. Well, happy sacred shopping. Thank you Sheri. Love, love, love.
Sheri Winston | SxR Guest Sexpert:Such a pleasure always talking to you too. Thank you for having me.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Too much love.
Announcer:Now, our favorite part, the dish.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Hmm.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:one and only Sheri Winston. I always feel like, I feel like a badass that I have gotten to sit with Sheri Winston several times now, I have to say.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:totally. I, um,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Cause she's such a
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:you not just adore her? I feel, I, I, I, she's just one of those people that you're like so glad came into your life and bestowed you what they know, you know, it like really her work, um, has enhanced my sex life. And a lot of people's work has, it's not like, you know, but hers, she's been very influential, you know, when I was asking Freddie the other day, was that this morning, um, what, uh, who's been one of your, you know, professional mentors. And although it's not like I studied extensively, extensively with Sheri, I would say that I would put her up at the top of the list as someone whose content has deeply affected my embodied experience. Thanks.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:That's probably because you do really well when you understand
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I, I,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:is one of your top values, as well as my own. And understanding anatomy, it's not everybody gives a shit about anatomy. You know, I say, I'm so Like at a family function or something, and I was like, oh yeah, the vestibular bulbs, blah blah, and the introitus, blah blah, and they were like, what are you talking about? And I was like, oh, these are the parts of the vulva, and the opening of the vagina, and all this stuff, and they were kind of just like, glazed over, and they were like, anyway, yeah, well, fucking is just good, you know?
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. I had,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:they need to know. Penis, vagina, in, out. I'm like, okay, there's so much more,
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:like,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:God bless, not everyone's into it, you know?
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:yeah, like, this whole, I think, I mean, I, I have to say I'm guilty of this, the, the, I, anatomy has always sounded like this super boring, um, lots of Latin words that I'll never memorize, um,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Oh, see, I've always been such an anatomy dork. I love anatomy. Oh my god, I aced anatomy.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:about anatomy until it came to sex. And now I'm a total geek for it. And so I had a private client, a VIP client last month or something. And I was, you know, again, I probably had already discussed vestibular bulbs, like, you know, four times in, in the four days we had together. And I could just see him go, Like, he heard it and it was like, you know, when, I don't love the word vagina. I find it to be, um, and
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:also an inappropriate word. Yeah, it doesn't make
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:like sterile and medical and, and weird. And so I didn't realize that he was probably putting that language that I was using, that I was excited about, in the same category.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:the same category, he's like vestibular bulb. Sounds clinical. Yeah.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:That's the
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Oh my gosh, so funny. Well, that's why the word yoni is so great because it encompasses all of it. The reproductive tissues, the fallopian tubes, the ovaries, the womb, the vulva, the clitoris,
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:the vestibular bulbs,
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And the spirit. And the spirit of what
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:the sacred
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:is. Yeah. Yeah.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:The Sanskrit. They got it right. Yeah. I mean, and that was one of the fun things that we were kind of rapping about at the end with Sheri after we stopped recording was like the, how, how, wrong the wording is, the languaging is, around our sexuality and our anatomy in general. I mean, one of the things you, you did hear in the interview was her speaking to the pudendal nerve, which is like a massive nerve pathway for pleasure from your pussy to your brain, or from your lingam to your brain, and it's, it means shame. Pudendan means shame or something like that. So, I mean, my god.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And, and I don't know that, yeah, she might have done on the interview, but that, that it links up, it actually, it roots right into the sacrum, the bone so
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Sacred
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:named it the sacrum, you know? And it's like, wow, did some body get that wrong?
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Well, the sacrum, they got the sacrum right, but they got the pudendal nerve.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:the Padendal, it's like, wow,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:GPO name after the, um, doctor, German doctor, what's his name? Leah. You
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:uh, Grafenburg, Dr.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Grafenberg?
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah, and I love, uh, I loved her analogy of the paper towel. Now, that's the first time I've heard that, so
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Oh, that was a
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:I'll be adopting that one because it really does describe it visually, it true, you know, from what
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:the G spot we're talking about.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:mm hmm, yeah, that was really fun.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Sheri.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Sheri Sheri, bless Sheri
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Sending her so much love and light and
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:And, uh, this, this hopefully inspired you to, if you are a vulva owner, to go on a new discovery. And, and I really just encourage you, if this isn't something you've approached before, a lot of different body sensations can arise, like avoidance and reluctance and dread and
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:Emotions are going to appear. I mean, trauma can come up. I mean, but it's all coming up to be released and to be healed. So, so stay with it. Breathe into it. Don't be afraid of it. If you need support, reach out to us. We're
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah, get in front of that mirror and start to massage and see if you can notice the changes in your vulva. When you can see it visually, it changes your relationship to what you feel. That's been my experience and the experience of so many students that I've guided people through yoni witnessing. And if you want to have a guided experience of yoni witnessing, that's something both Willow and I offer. And we have courses, um, where we've taken groups of women through it and you can do it on your own. So you don't have to deal with anyone else. It can just be you, our voices in the mirror. So we encourage you to check that out.
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:I have to tell you, when I read her book, I was, um, I was working in Laos. No, I was in Java. I was in, um, Indonesia, on the island of Java, right next to the Borobudur temple. And I read her book. was working at this really fancy hotel for like a month and there wasn't that much going on. So it was like, I would go down to the temple, I'd treat a few people, I'd teach a yoga class. So I had all this extra time. So I played with my pussy for like a month straight as I read that book. Yeah. I mean, I went through that book and I followed everything detail for detail. I mean, my book is like marked and highlighted and underlined, you know, it's fully, fully well used. And, um, it was so, Amazing to have that time and space and that beautiful, you know, chateau that I was in to like really just dive deep with my own yoni.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah,
Dr. Willow Brown | SxR co-host:So if you can, take it on vacation with you, I recommend doing that.
Leah Piper | SxR co-host:Yeah. All right, sister. I'll catch you on the flip side. Bye, everyone. Love, love, love.
Announcer:Thanks for tuning in. This episode was hosted by Tantric Sex Master Coach and Positive Psychology Facilitator, Leah Piper, as well as by Chinese and Functional Medicine Doctor and Taoist Sexology Teacher, Dr. Willow Brown. Don't forget, your comments, likes, subscribes, and suggestions matter. Let's realize this new world together.