Simone Milasas: Why You're Still Lonely in Your Relationship And the 5 Things That Fix It | #183

Most of us grew up with a very specific picture of what love is supposed to look like. One person. One structure. One finish line. And yet, so many people are quietly miserable chasing it. Today's guest has a different question: what if you got to design this from scratch? Simone Milasas is an Australian author, global facilitator of Access Consciousness, Host of the Choice, Change, Action Podcast, creator of the "Relationship Done Different" classes, and the woman behind the book Relationship, Are You Sure You Want One? She has lived a joyful, unapologetic, non-traditional relationship life for decades. And she is here to help you stop settling for the relationship you were handed and start creating one that actually fits. Simone invites listeners to get radically honest about what they truly desire  and start choosing that instead.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

• Emotional intimacy starts as an inside job. You cannot sustainably offer to someone else what you have not yet built with yourself.
• The relationship structure that works is the one that is workable for your actual life, not the one you inherited from your family, your culture, or a rom-com.
• Allowance is not passive. It is an active choice to stop wasting energy trying to change someone and redirect it toward appreciating what they genuinely bring.
• Asking for what you want in bed, in life, and in partnership is not high-maintenance. It is often, as Simone puts it, the thing that turns most people on.
• Completing a relationship is not a failure. It can be an act of profound gratitude, trust, and honor — for both people.
• When you feel triggered by your partner, ask yourself: which of the five elements am I not bringing right now?

LINKS & RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE CAN BE FOUND ON THE WEBSITE

POWER OF PLEASURE | Join our FREE Live Online Summit - April 28-29, 2026 featuring 12 leading intimacy experts in conscious sexuality, desire and erotic healing. Register: https://www.sexreimagined.com/power-of-pleasure 

ROOTED IN DESIRE. A Journey Back to Your Feminine Essence If you're a heart-centered woman ready to embody your femininity, awaken your sacred sexuality, and fall deeply in love with yourself, this immersion is for you. Register: https://www.sexreimagined.com/rooted-in-desire

LAST 10x LONGER. If you suffer from premature ejaculation, you are not alone, master 5 techniques to cure this stressful & embarrassing issue once and for all. Save 20% Coupon: PODCAST20. 

Transcript

Meet Simone Milasas

Willow 1:05

If you've ever wondered whether relationships are supposed to feel this complicated, today's guest has some opinions. Simone Molasses brings a radical honesty, humor, and zero fluff to intimacy and personal freedom. So I, for one, I'm very excited to talk to her. I'm Dr. Willow Brown. I'm here with my cohost to Leah Piper, we are sex reimagined and we're so grateful for all your amazing likes, shares, and subscribes. So keep them coming

Leah 1:35

So tune in, turn on, and friends. Let's fall in love together with Simone.

Announcer 1:41

Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is shame-free and pleasure forward. Let's get into the show.

Willow 1:49

Welcome Simone.

Leah 1:50

to the show.

Simone 1:52

Yay. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Willow 1:54

And we're so excited that you're here. So, let's just drop right in. Like, how is your approach to relationships different, uh, than other, than other approaches out there?

Separating Love and Sex

Designing Your Ideal Setup

Simone 2:06

Okay. So I would say it's taken me some time and you know, I'm in my mid fifties now and I am so happy with where I'm at now rather than where I was at in my twenties. I think I've been through so many different phases from, I literally remember like in my teens and even my early twenties when I met someone I wasn't looking at, oh, will this person be fun? Will this be joyful? Will this be, you know, easy for me, et cetera. I literally went, do my friends like him? And I'm like, wow. It's like, and that's how I used to determine who I ended up dating, et cetera. And I would say, uh, look, marriage has never been something I've desired. Like even my last long-term relationship, my partner, I remember one day he said to me. You know, if you wanna get married, we can. And I went, is that a proposal? And he was like, I guess so. And I'm like, I'm good, I'm good. You know? So it's never really been something that I felt I needed. Uh, I will say like social stigma, et cetera. I was like, oh, it's the right thing to have, you know, a partner and a right thing to have a boyfriend and a right thing to have this. So I did live through that. I'm gonna say I probably struggled through that because I always had a sense that I was different. And for me there was other things like, um, you know, traveling the world, et cetera. That was really important to me. And after my long-term relationship that I broke up with, I remember sitting there going, oh my God, I'm never gonna have sex again. You know, and, uh,'cause I like sex. And it was like, okay, so how do I have sex? You know, outside a relationship. And I did that, um, dating app thing, which I was like, oh my God, this is such hard work. It was, you know, hours upon hours, you know, and all the, and, and it was fine. And I realized soon enough, oh, sex is easy. You can have sex, and what sex would I like to have and what would I like that to be? So I started asking myself different questions and what I would like in relationships and what I'd like in sex.'cause I think a lot of people sort of put that in the same category and gu lump it together and it's not true. It's like I started looking at those aspects of relationship I really like. Like for me it's like I love cooking a great meal, nice music, you know, um, glass of wine, et cetera, and having a great conversation. But I have friends that I do that with. I don't necessarily copulate with them. So I started looking at, okay, it's the aspects of relationship that I like, and then there's sex, and then sort of playing with all of that and how that can be different for me.

Willow 4:44

I love how you, you really learned how to make your not being in the typical relationship normal for yourself. I mean, I feel like so many people in the single world feel like, ah, there's something wrong with me. There's something missing from my life. There's this sort of, they're swimming in this like lack experience. And then of course seeing through that, through that lens. And so, you know, I, I do the same thing where I'm like, okay. Once a once a week I wanna cook for someone, you know, and then I'll have my lover over here and it's a little bit compartmentalized at the moment, which is actually just, you know, fine for me at the moment. So it sounds like you actually, um, have spread that out for a lot long period of your life.

One Person Can’t Be Everything

Simone 5:31

Yeah, and I think you, you just nailed it. You, you have to choose what's good for you, you know, like I was also looked at. You like the house I live in at the moment? It's a two story house. I used to have my ex living here and his stepson, now I live here. I bought him out of it. I live here on my own. And a friend of mine came one day and he went, this is a really big house for one person. And I went, yep. And I love it. And it's like, you know, like I do like to cook for someone and I love to sleep in a bed with someone and wake up with them. And I also love not doing that too. So I think you really need to look at what works for you and i'm not so sure I'm ever gonna choose to live with someone again. And if I do, I need to, you know, make more money and, and have a better place because I would love, you know, Downton Abbey, you know how they have their own bedrooms and their own bathrooms? Maybe you can have an interconnecting door.

Willow 6:24

their own wings sometimes.

Simone 6:27

Exactly.

Willow 6:28

Yeah.

Simone 6:29

here's the thing, why not ask for that? Like, if you actually desire that, why not ask for that? And I think we get really limited by thinking that we can only create from a certain, you know, a certain pool, and it's not true. It's like we need to ask for more. You are allowed to ask for more. You're allowed to ask for everything you desire.

Conditioning and Choosing Differently

Leah 6:49

Okay. Well this is a little confusing to me because what I see, it's like, okay, have, you're gonna have different sort of beloveds to experience different parts of life, and I think one of the traps we get into is we zero in on one person who has to take care of all of our needs. They have to be our best friend. They have to be our confidant. They have to be our lover. They have to be our, our support system and our financial buddy. And they have to love all the things that we love and do all the hobbies that we do and go on every single vacation. And they have to be the person we process with. And what, as Esther Perel would say, what was once the job of a village, we make the job of one person. So what I kind of hear you saying is like. Look, there's lots of needs that you have that you should be curating with people who are a good match for those needs. You support them, they support you, and they may, you may really thrive in certain categories of life together. Um. But I still think a lot of people are looking at an older model that's like, well, if we're, if you're my person, then we're doing this life together as a team. And it's not just us with a lot of people, it's you and me that make the us. Um, but then I also hear you saying like, Hey, you can have everything. When I hear that, a lot of times coming from women, they want everything with one person. And they still believe that they can have everything with one person. And so half the time they're like, they're struggling and they're in anguish and they're facing all these obstacles because where's my person? Um, have I, am I on track so far with what you're saying? Have I reflected back correctly?

Simone 8:31

Yeah.

Leah 8:31

I missed anything?

Simone 8:32

No. Leah, I, no, I think you've, you've, you've, um, nailed it. And I, look, I went through that and my question would be is who does it belong to? Because if you look at how we grew up, like, like I said, I'm in my mid fifties, so it was, you know, at, even at high school, what do you wanna do when you leave high school? Okay, you could go study, you could do this. But it was very much like, are you gonna get married and have kids? Like that was very, very acceptable. And not doing

Leah 8:59

and expected,

Where People Get Stuck

Simone 9:00

Exactly. Yeah. And I left and traveled overseas for three years and you know, I, I used to have lots of like these little mini relationships. Like I remember at one stage someone nicknamed me the three month wonder, but I would like be in a relationship with someone for three months and then go, okay, that was awesome, and I think I'm done. You know, I was never looking for this long-term thing. Now again, that's me. I've got a 22-year-old niece at the moment and she cracks me up on all of her friends and where they're at. Right? It's like, you know, at some point, maybe she's in, at the moment she's in a relationship with a, a young guy before she was seeing a girl and then she was seeing multiple partners and then like, they're all like, you know, switching and changing, which I think is, is really beautiful, uh, situation that they can choose that in. If that's working for them, because I also, some of them, they do wanna get married and have kids. So for me, the most important element here is whatever you desire is not right and it's not wrong. It's like, what if now is the time that we could. You know, look at what we truly desire and choose that. I mean, if you look at the history of relationships, why did we start marriage? Why did we start relationships? And it was mainly, you know, for wealth building, um, land, you know, opportunities like, um,

Willow 10:21

It was a business proposal. Yeah.

Leah 10:24

Yeah. A

Willow 10:24

Yeah. You know, I, I love this, like, one, one of the things I often say, people are like, well, what kind of relationship, you know, are you looking for? Do you wanna be in a polyamorous relationship? Do you wanna be in a, a monogamous relationship? And I always say. I wanna be in whatever relationship actually works. And so that's what you're really saying is like, what works for you and what works in the moment, that's the most important relationship, and that's what's kind of differentiating your, your charge in the relationship, um, you know, spectrum of life. So where do, where do you really see people like get tripped up? When it comes to relationships, like where are they kind of, is it that they're not following their own truth, that they don't know what their own truth is? Is it something else?

Lovers, Travel, and Money Myths

Simone 11:11

I think yes and yes. I think both of those, I think we've been like very ingrained of what we're supposed to choose rather than what we would like to choose. I always say,'cause I do these classes called Relationship Done different. And I always say, whatever situation you're in right now is what you're choosing. Like, you know, I, I can't tell you the amount of girlfriends especially who are like, I would like this. And I'm like, if you'd like it, you, you know, you can, you can find it and you can choose it. Like me, when I was like, oh my God, I'm never gonna have sex again. You know, and then I figured out that's pretty easy. You can have sex anytime you want, really. If, if you wanna, you know, and so. Wherever you are at right now, what if you looked at that and went, okay, is this actually working for me? And if it's not, ask yourself another question of what action you'd need to take. Um, I mean, I think, gosh, old school engagement is you can't beat that either. Like just reaching out and saying hello to someone, whether you are in a bar or a plane, or you know, a shop or anything like that. It's like, you know, what's the worst thing that's gonna happen? If someone is gonna ignore you, they're probably not going to. So if that's what you're looking for, choose that. But it's like, I mean, at the moment. So I've had a, um, a, a younger lover, a younger Italian lover, and I literally call him my lover.'cause people go, oh, that relationship. And I'm like, but it's, I don't, to me it's not a relationship. It's, it's more like,

Willow 12:35

a lover

Simone 12:36

is a, it's a lover ship and a, and a creation ship, which is like this. I mean, he sees other people. I do too. He's 18 years younger than me and it's, we have such a fabulous time and it's been about almost six years now, and that works for me. I travel eight, nine months of the year. Sometimes he comes over and, and, you know, sees me, stays a couple of weeks and we go somewhere amazing and beautiful and swim in some Mediterranean sea or something like that. But it's, it's, it's amazing. Oh, and that's the other thing, financially. I think what kills the possibility of a relationship is women keep looking for a man to look after them. I know a lot of women who earn really good money, and I've had many conversations by saying, Hey, if you want them to go somewhere, pay for it. If you want this, why don't you pay for it? I think we need to have that conversation of, maybe that's flipped a little bit. You know, like, don't make someone wrong if they're earning less money than you. If you are successful, then how many other men are earning more money than you like? Don't make that such a linear scale to

Willow 13:40

Right,

Leah 13:41

Yeah.

Willow 13:42

That's also an old paradigm and an old model. I mean, what you, what you're speaking to, you know, also bringing your niece and her generation in is like, there are so many ways to get to the top of the mountain these days, right? There's so many paths that you can take and, um, keeping your finger on the pulse of your own authentic true desires is at the root of it all. Which is, can be so hard to do because I feel like there's so many layers of, of society and, you know, um, peers and, you know,

Leah 14:14

Well, conditioning.

Willow 14:15

conditioning.

Leah 14:16

like our culture and our family of origin and like all these things that inform what you should want, including just what you watch growing up as a kid on television. There's a model that is conveying to you this is what you should want and this is what being, having a successful like life looks like. You know, you have all these things and they all come together. And so what you're saying, and which I think also a younger generation is doing is they're normalizing, doing it differently. And not necessarily, uh, prescribing to the conditioned formula all of us, most of us, have been handed down. Um. That comes, yeah, that comes with, uh, taking a step back. If you're looking at this and going, I've been suffering because I haven't been achieving this thing everyone tells me I should want. That says, I'll have status and success as a person if I have these things the way I've been told I should want them. So if I can just make some space to go, well, what's true? What do I actually really want? What's not working? And what would be workable? I had someone, I was at a, um, at a festival teaching with Willow in the spring and a colleague of ours we went and listened to her talk and she talked about the word integrity. She says, the way I define integrity is that integrity means workable. You are looking for what's workable in your life and when you are up against an obstacle and you're trying things that no longer work, you're out of integrity. And if you wanna have integrity and live a life of integrity, you have to look for what's workable. And I thought that was really interesting. And if we were to use it in this context, it's like. If you feel like you gotta get to the top of the mountain, that may no longer be workable. What if you just lived in the village and you had your little piece in the village? What would make that, what would make the village and you happy? I don't know. Thoughts?

Five Elements of Intimacy

Simone 16:15

Well, if you look at two things that we grew up with as a point of view that, you know, um, like if you grew up with marriage and you're meant, it's meant to last for a lifetime, right? How many times when people get divorced, people go, oh, no, what if we didn't? What if we went,

Willow 16:30

Yeah. What if it was Congratulations? Yeah,

Trust and Allowance in Practice

Simone 16:34

done. You did five years, you did 20 years, and you, you actually had the bravery and the courage to move on. And then the second thing is children, like I never desired to have kids. I did have a stepchild for eight years, which sort of, I got thrown in with that with a 5-year-old and was like, okay, you know. How many people go, oh, do you regret not having kids? What if we flipped it and went, do you regret having kids? You know, because we make something right and something wrong and I would like the world to be there is no right and there is no wrong. What if it was more about the freedom of choosing?

Willow 18:57

Mm. I love that.

Leah 18:59

I, once, I had to tell my aunt and my mom, I said, I gotta set a boundary with you two because I, I don't want you to ask me anymore if I'm gonna have kids. Every time I come home, you ask me about the kids thing, just, can we take, take it off the table. I'm not having kids. I'll let you know if I change my mind.

Simone 19:16

Yeah. Perfect.

Leah 19:17

but now you have your answer.

Willow 19:19

Simone, tell us about these five elements of intimacy that you, um, speak about in your book.

Simone 19:26

So, okay, five elements of intimacy is gratitude, vulnerability, honor. Trust and allowance. And so this is what I looked at many, many, many years ago when,'cause I realized,'cause I said I've been through so many phases, is I was looking for somebody else to be grateful for me. I was looking for somebody else to be all these things for me. So the Five Elements Intimacy, which is part of Access Consciousness, which I'm a facilitator of. It's one of the tools is what if you could have that with you? Right. So one of the things I did was I wrote them on Post-it notes and had them up in my, uh, bathroom mirror for ages and, and every day brushing my teeth, I would look at where I wasn't willing to be trusting of myself, honoring of myself in allowance of myself, grateful and vulnerable because I get, it starts with you and, and your body, like you and your body. And then when you have those five elements of intimacy with you, when you don't need that from somebody else. Then you can have those elements of intimacy with somebody else. And I remember years ago when I had those post-it notes on my bathroom mirror and I got outta the shower. I was with my Italian lover, and we got outta the shower and he's reading them. And I was learning Italian as well, so I had them written in Italian and in English. And he looked at it and he went, that's what we have. And I went, I know. Yeah, I know. It was one of the most beautiful moments, but for me that's like. A creation ship. Because if you look at the, if you look at a dictionary before, like 1939, I think it is, the definition of the word relationship means the distance between two things. So we go, oh, we'd like a relationship, but what you're actually doing is creating a distance. So for me, the five elements of intimacy is not about creating that distance, it's about creating that intimacy. And we nicknamed it a creation ship. Because a creation ship has no, no end to it. Like it doesn't have the definition. It's like, I mean, how do you, how do you define gratitude? You're just actually

Leah 21:25

I was just gonna say, let's, let's have you define what these words mean to you. Um, because I think people do define them differently. I mean, gratitude's pretty much across the board, uh, seems self-explanatory, but let's just go through them and, and have you explain them.

Simone 21:39

So if you look at trust, right? And a lot of people look at trust as this blind faith. I'm not talking about that. Like, say, say, if you're with someone and every time they go to the bathroom, they leave the toilet seat up. Okay? And this, these are the, the things like those niggly things that people end up fighting about. You know, it's like, so instead of

Willow 21:57

been in that relationship before.

Simone 21:59

right, instead of like.

Willow 22:03

Put the toilet seat down.

Simone 22:05

Yeah, but here's the thing. What if you trusted that they were never gonna do it?

Willow 22:09

Right. You gotta

Simone 22:10

Or you're like, okay,

Willow 22:11

Yeah.

Vulnerability and Honest Desire

Simone 22:12

You're like, okay, I trust that you're never gonna do that. Right? And it's like, okay. So it's like you're not trying.'Cause can't I tell you how many people, especially in the classes that I do, especially women, go, how do I make my partner do this? I'm like. You know what, if you wanna train something, get a puppy. It's like, for me, having a partner is not about training them. It's, you know, I mean, you can ask them a question, Hey, you know, what would, could you help with this? Or, I mean, I remember with my ex at one stage, um, financially I was earning way more money and he's really good at spending money and, and I said, Hey, I need your help. I need to show you where we're at financially. And as soon as I did and we sat down, it was like, oh. And then we started doing these weekly events where we'd go out to a really nice restaurant and we called it like our financial 1 0 1 dinners. So this dinner was about, let's get a nice bottle of wine, nice food, and let's talk about where we're at. What do we want to create? And so, but it, it gave that energy of, I guess that's going into honoring as well, of honoring me. Honoring him, honoring our choices. Like let's have that conversation. Right? Then you've got allowance. Allowance is also not a doormat. Okay. Allowance is not a doormat, as in, you know, you just put up with things. That's not what I'm talking about. But what if you were an allowance of, let's go back to the toilet seat. What if you were an allowance of the toilet seat? You know, like I, this is weird, but I love doing laundry. I love, I always have clean clothes, right? And my ex used to always just leave his underwear on the floor and I'd go, I'd go be like Brendan. And he'd go, well, they're not gonna pick themselves up, are they? And he'd make this joke, right? And. But what ended up happening was I would, I, when I was in allowance, I would just pick him up and it wasn't like I felt like I was this slave or anything. It was so, I mean, he was, um, almost in Master Chef Australia, right? So his energy of like, he would cook as the most amazing meals and I would never help or do anything with that. So you sort of gotta have a look at how the relationship sort of is malleable and fluid.

Willow 24:15

like how you co-support one another.

Simone 24:18

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Willow 24:18

at laundry, he is good at cooking. Like it's a good match.

Simone 24:22

exactly. I'm good at other things too, besides laundry, but I'm good at laundry.

Leah 24:28

Yeah. Yeah. I love that you're just allowing the person to be who they are. You're allowing, you're making space to enjoy their strengths. You're not allowing maybe some of their less talented efforts bug you, irritate you, piss you off, create a fight. You know, like the things that, like really picking and choosing, you know, what are you willing to, to die over? You know, like what is something that is so intolerable? It kind of like seem where you can be more flexible in your system so that you're not unhappy. It's not even for them, it's for you,

Simone 25:04

for you. Exactly. Exactly. Leah. Yeah.

Willow 25:07

it gives you the space so that you can actually not, not get tight and constricted around, God dammit. They're not doing the thing I want them to do. So how does, how does this new view on trusting some, like I'm shifting, I'm gonna trust that you'll always leave the toilet seat up. So it's a totally different view, right? And then I'm gonna allow that like, you are good at this thing and I'm good at that thing. How does this open? To deeper vulnerability within the relationship.

Simone 25:37

Well, I think with vulnerability, um. Let's, let's look at sex as an example. It's like how many people actually ask for what they desire in sex. like I have seen relationships years and finally, you know, you have a conversation with someone and they're like, oh, I'd really like to do this, or I'd really like this or that, or et cetera. And they never talk about it. And the other partner's also desiring something and it's like, what if you could start with that? What if there could be this moment that you went, Hey, let's not have sex today, but let's get naked and have a chat and, and have a chat. What would we like? You know, let's get naked and play and just talk about what it is that we. We desire and, and, and, and be able to have that conversation. But whether it's with that or, I remember at one stage I said to my ex, Hey, I think I wanna go live in Europe for, for a few months. And to have that conversation and not be like, oh, I can't because you are here and my stepson is here. And he was like, okay. And he's like, let's talk about it. And we spoke about it. I did, I actually didn't end up going, but I, I went for quite a, because I travel a lot, but I went for a, a shorter stint. But the fact that we could have the conversation, it wasn't me choosing that against him.

Leah 26:55

Mm-hmm.

Simone 26:55

in a relationship, I think you really need to choose for you, and one thing I see people not doing is choosing for them because they think they're choosing against. But if you can have that vulnerable conversation about whatever it is, maybe you wanna switch jobs or l like I said, your, your sex life or anything. It's like if you're willing to actually speak up and go, Hey, is is this gonna work for you? Like if I choose this, you know,

Intimate Play Cards

Leah 27:19

Yeah. Or even what do you need in order to support me experiencing this? You know, because it may not be someone's kink

Simone 27:27

yeah. Exactly.

Leah 27:28

your yum may not be their yum, but sometimes there's a way to negotiate. Um, boy, it would really be beautiful for me to experience this, and I'm wondering how that lands with you and what you would need in order to partner with me having this experience.

Simone 27:44

And I can tell you pretty much right now that it's gonna turn most people on when you talk like that,

Leah 27:49

Mm-hmm.

Willow 27:50

for sure. Well, it's such a more open

Simone 27:52

on.

Leah 27:53

Yeah.

Willow 27:54

it's such a more open convers. It's, it's more of a, we're having a conversation, not me telling you what is gonna happen or what I'm gonna do, so.

Leah 28:03

too.

Willow 28:04

Yeah, exactly. And so how, how do people with these, um, these five elements of, of what it means to be in this new form of relationship, like how are people listening? How would they kind of get started? Do you have like, um, action steps that you have people take or, or practices that you have people go through? Or how do they bring more of this trust and vulnerability in.

Cards Spark Conversations

Leah 28:29

Yeah, and or if I just wanna add a little, add even something more to that question, which is how do they become, how do they get more real and honest about their true desire, right? Because we opened up this conversation talking about like living your truth. So it's like, here you might, we might have somebody listening who's in a relationship for 20 years, and how do they start these conversations?

Willow 28:53

Mm-hmm.

Simone 28:53

Well, we, if we do like a, a slight bit of advertising to begin with is the, the, the book that I wrote called Relationship, are you sure You want one? I actually wrote that with my ex, so it's me and him. Okay. And we split the relationship up. When we were in the US and we had all this media and everything, our PR agent nearly had a heart attack. And I was like, it's okay, because this is the whole point is relationship. Are you sure you want one? I need you to be, I need people to be in question is what we wanted people to go to. So we have a lot of, we go through a lot of that in the book and a lot of the tools. But a really quick thing for your listeners too is, as you were mentioning before, Willow, like if you get angry or frustrated with your partner. Just stop for a second and, and then ask which one of these five elements, like trust, honor, allowance, gratitude and vulnerability am I not being here or could I use here?

Leah 29:46

Hmm. Nice.

Willow 29:47

That's

Simone 29:48

and a great tool is, um, and, you know, you've gotta, again, you've gotta have it with you. Because if you keep looking for, for the answer of what you are not quote unquote happy with in somebody else, you're never gonna find it. It's like, you know, but if you have it with you and then somebody else comes along and you're playing with them, it's like it just explodes into something even greater and better. So, and then the other thing I was gonna mention is these is the intimate play cards. These are with my lover. We created them. Right? And here's what, here's how this, I think this is funny how this showed up is because we had this deck of cards that we brought somewhere and you know, we made a cocktail and we're like, you know, when to start playing these cards. And one of them was like, you know, go down on your lover. And he was like, I'm not even hard yet. You know, and we're like, Hmm. And then of course, both of us being us, we went, you know what? We need to create something different. So we actually started with this Google Doc and we wrote all these different things down that we would like to play. But what we started doing with, which I know that you don't have the cards yet, but you'll get them, is there, is we did soft play and we did hard play. So the idea is you start with soft play. I mean, you can do whatever you

Willow 31:06

you gotta warm up.

Simone 31:09

Exactly. I mean, I dunno about you, but it's like when I make out with someone and I've got clothes on, ah, that's one of the sexiest things in the world because

Willow 31:16

Oh

Simone 31:16

anticipation

Leah 31:18

Yes, sister. Yes.

Simone 31:20

yeah, yeah.

Leah 31:22

all day long.

Willow 31:23

Mm-hmm.

Stuck Relationship Check In

Simone 31:24

yes, yes. And there's ones that, like, we have all these ones in here. It's like. You know, like make out, um, like Kiss your Lover without allowing the bodies to touch, but it's for two minutes, right? So we have all of this, but here's the thing is this is a game. A deck of cards play. It, it's, it's meant to create this like intimacy between you. I didn't know to the extent that it would. Like we have, um, I, a couple of, um, friends of mine, they've been in relationships one eight years, one 12 years. One of them is like, she's a very successful dominatrix and everything, and, uh she said, Simone, I've never had conversations like this with my partner. I didn't even realize that he wanted this because there's cards that pop up and maybe something shows up for someone and they're like, oh, I'm not sure I wanna do that. Or they really wanna do it, but they've never had the conversation. So for me, that was absolutely brilliant. That's what we desired. There was also another, um, another, my, actually my niece's friend. And so she's young, got a boyfriend and she's asexual, or was asexual, I should say. And Ellen gave her, um, a deck of these cards, and it was only a few weeks ago. And she said, Hey, I really wanna thank you, because her partner wanted to have sex, but she never wanted to have sex. So she said, we play these cards now. We don't play the hard play. We only do the soft play. But we started to play the soft play and it started to open everything up and they started to have sex again. But it's from that slow thing. I mean, I think so many of us, when we have sex, it's like how many people play like really play for, for maybe hours or play for an hour with not actually copulating, you know? It's like, yeah. It's like it's, I mean, my, my assistant said every kid should have these because they just rush into going and having sex and going, yay, I had sex. You know? It's like, oh gosh, there's so much more to it than that. Which I know you guys have explored. I checked out your website and I was like, damn, girls. That's awesome. So I think

Willow 33:28

kind of what we, what we teach

Simone 33:30

Yeah, yeah, I know. Which is great. Thank you. Thank you for teaching that.'cause it really should be out there in the world, like big time.

Willow 33:38

Yeah. So. These cards sound super fun and they, it, it sounds like, you know, you could kind of have like a, a set time, like let's have a, a card playing date where we're going to, you know, hang out with them for a couple hours. Few hours. Or you could probably also use these cards, like more in passing, more in like a quick, just to kind of like keep the cauldron boiling a little bit throughout the day. Is that, is that possible?

Simone 34:05

Absolutely. I mean, I've had so many stories of different people. It's a friend of mine in Scotland and uh, she said she left on the dining room table a note saying cards, you know, with the cards just splayed out, you know, cards or dinner. And he was

Willow 34:20

I love that

Simone 34:22

cards.

Willow 34:22

cards.

Leah 34:24

I'd be like, can I both?

Simone 34:28

Get cards and then have dinner. Yeah.

Willow 34:30

I love it. I

Simone 34:31

But, uh, but it's, it's, it's, and it's, I mean, I've had another friend of mine, he's, he's in Vienna, Austria, and he said to me, he is, he's got a deck of cards. And I said, have you played them? And he said, I've only ever played them once. And I played one card, but from that one card, what created? And I'm like, great. You know, it's like, I think we all need,

Willow 34:48

sometimes all you need is just one little bit

Simone 34:51

Exactly.

Willow 34:52

way. Yeah.

Mirror Post It Practice

Leah 34:53

Sometimes we just need a little inspiration and then something else, you know, gets created and we can run with it. You know, I'm kind of curious though, like. I keep on like having these two images pop up in this conversation. I have the image of like the couple that have been together for a long time and it's super stagnant and they're stuck. And then I have the person who might be looking for relationship. And I'm curious, like what would you advise for both people?

Simone 35:25

So the one in the stagnant relationship, um, I would actually, I think ask yourself, it's like, you know, is, is this actually working for me? I think there's a, there's a conversation that very few people have and it's, Hey, have we done what we're meant to do together? And I had that with my ex at one point, and he was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, and, and really in truth, it was two years before we broke up. We should have broken up then. Like that's, that's when it was done, you know? But it took another two years until we went, Hey, have we done what we're meant to do together? And, and, and we took a bottle of wine out into the veranda and we just sat down and we chatted about everything. This guy found out that he was cheating on me and all this sort of stuff, which is really interesting because where I'm at now. Um, we have other lovers and I always wonder what would've happened if he had had the guts to say, Hey, I wanna sleep with other people. Would I have been okay with it? Because for me, it's not about the active population. For me personally, it's about the lies. It's like, don't, don't lie to me. You know? Like that's Yeah, that's the thing. That

Willow 36:33

hard. The, the betrayal that's so painful and so wounding, you know, and like, it doesn't have to be so often and so often we do things because of fear, right? We're just, I don't wanna, I fear your reaction. I fear it's gonna end our relationship. I don't wanna lose you and so I'm just gonna betray instead, but that it's

Leah 36:53

Again, we stay for way too long, like you said. I mean, I can think back on a lot of my very. You know, the relationships that shaped so much of what I find meaningful in life and the people that contributed to that. Most of the people I stayed, I can think of just about every relationship I've ever been in. I stayed too long, you know, because of that fear. It's

Simone 37:17

Yeah. And it's,

Leah 37:18

change.

Simone 37:18

but if you, if you take the, but you actually desire change, you crave change, but then let's slip in the vulnerability again. Part of the five elements of intimacy, like, and that's for me too is that place of, if you don't need anyone else. You choose someone else, then usually you end up having the courage to have those hard conversations.

Leah 37:40

Yeah.

Simone 37:41

know where it's gonna go and, and don't try and have the conversation before it's had.'cause we try and work out what are they gonna do, what are they gonna say? Like, just like,

Willow 37:49

Have the conversation. Yeah. You, a lot of times we start having the whole conversation in our heads before we even get to the, to the, real moment with them. Um, one thing I wanted to circle back on Simone was, um, you, did you say you're putting these words on your mirror and post-its and, and making sure that you have a relationship within yourself with each one of these? Is that what you were speaking

Breakups With Love

Simone 38:13

that was the first thing I did. Yeah. And I just,'cause for me, it's like if I see it visually. Um, you know, I'm getting up brushing my teeth or whatever, then I can look up and be like, okay. Because a lot of the times we wake up with the liney of judgment and

Willow 38:27

I feel like people who are still kind of looking for their, their relationships or their relationship or their creation, whatever it may be, like this would be a really powerful act for them to do in order to have that sort of sense of balance within themselves. Like those elements alive and connected within themselves. Which would then, in your experience, did it then open up more ease in finding these other relationships?

Simone 38:55

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Because I, um, yeah, you have more of you and

Leah 39:02

I was just like,

Simone 39:04

yeah.

Leah 39:05

I'm sorry, go ahead.

Simone 39:06

Well, you have more of you. And, and for me, that's one of the most beautiful gifts when you see someone be. Proud of what they choose. Like, I mean, gosh, I, I like to say I've lived a colorful life because I've definitely been there, done that and, you know, all these different things. But I'm not ashamed of anything that I've chosen. And, you know, I have lived a colorful life. So, but here I am today and I'm proud of myself and, you know, I still stumble and fall, but when I stumble and fall, it's like, am I gonna lie down there and expect somebody else to help me? No, but, but I'm also not um, afraid to ask for help. Like I think that is one of the bravest things in the world too, is actually asking for help when required. Um, especially being a woman. Oh my God. You can use that to your advantage. And I

Willow 39:54

Well, that's. Yeah, for sure. Can you lift this for me? I do too. Um, I mean, well it's, it's, that is a piece that speaks to the vulnerability and I feel like that's a, a place where we can really practice vulnerability no matter what your gender is, is asking for help. Because again, there's this fear, I'm not gonna ask for help'cause I don't wanna bug people. I don't wanna be a burden, I don't wanna get rejected. You know, so there's all these. Things behind us not asking for help, but if you flip it around and you think about so and so asking you for help, like of course, what a gift it is for me to give you help. So we're actually robbing other people of giving us the gift that would feel so good for them to give. So I love that you bring that in because when we, when we not only ask for what we want and what we need, but just. You know what we would desire. It really opens, it gets us in the practice of vulnerability.'cause I really feel like vulnerability is a practice. It takes doing it again and again to get better

Leah 40:59

It takes guts to show your guts.

Simone 41:01

Yeah, it does. It does. It does. Yeah.

Fixing Stuckness Together

Leah 41:04

As I was just feeling into the words, just somatically, gratitude, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and honor. There were two places that I could, I was like imagining it in, in action, and one was just hearing you. Talk about your colorful life, gratitude that you have a colorful life. Trust that you went for having a colorful life. Allowance to have a colorful life. The vulnerability to have a colorful life. And then to honor the fact that you've nurtured a colorful life. Like all of the judges sort of landed, just with like that one expression, how all of those things come together in order to be yourself, to give yourself like the permission to just live out loud in a way that matches your integrity. And then I was like also kind of simmering in those words as I was imagining like, wow, if I had, if I had held that in those breakups, you know, and had the courage to really allow myself to feel complete. You know, to honor myself that I'm, I'm moving towards completion with this journey, with walking with this person. The vulnerability to like, to feel all of that. Like, what's complete, let's finish what isn't complete. The trust, you know, and then the gratitude to be so grateful to have walked with this person for the time that we got to walk together. It's like, when I think about if people had that as like a cornerstone to shifting a relational dynamic from what is letting go of, of what worked because it's no longer working. You know, just think of how our conversations with divorce lawyers would be different, how conversations with our kids shared kids might be different. For conversations that we have with our friends that are all mutually tied into our relationship. You know, it really sets everybody up to walk away with love instead of like having to hate each other so you can walk away. It's just a very different opportunity.

Willow 43:05

Hmm.

Dating Beyond The List

Simone 43:06

No, I, I totally agree. I mean, even my ex, like I'm, I'm still good friends with him. Uh, I've just spent, we, I was in Costa Rica and there was a whole bunch of us in Costa Rica and he was there, and I get on really well with him. It's like he, he came to Australia, he lives in Texas now, and he came to Australia at one point and stayed in my house. Like, it's like I. We got through. I mean, he act actually ended up being an alcoholic and so he went to AA and all this sort of stuff. So he had to have those conversations with me and we got through all of that stuff. And it was, it was interesting'cause it was essentially, as we said before, it was about the lies. But I'm not gonna hold onto that. It's like, that's too boring. You know? There's, there's so much more

Willow 43:47

like, that's the

Simone 43:48

not less than, yeah.

Willow 43:50

get into the present. Let's create a new future together. And I think that's one of the things that you know, can feel so heavy and hard about divorce or ending a long-term relationship, is it's like you're gonna lose the, the love, you're gonna lose the the person, the friendship, you know, all those pieces. And maybe for a period of time there is like some space where you're without it, but ultimately you really do want to, um, keep the love alive. Like still love that person, but now you love them in a different way. I mean, there's so many iterations to what one relationship can evolve through.

Simone 44:29

And, and if you choose that, and so Leah, your question before like and leading how we led into this is, I think you need to look at have we done what we've we're meant to do? But if you get no, you wanna keep with the relationship, then ask yourself. What is it that is, is creating that stuckness because is it something that you need to change or they need to change? And usually it's, it's creating like that vulnerable conversation of like, Hey, what actually needs to change here? Um, I mean, it's funny that it's either finances or sex are the two topics that I see come up a lot with, you know,

Willow 45:06

Or bathroom hygiene.

Simone 45:09

That's why you need to, you need a bathroom age. I don't have to, you know, share a

Willow 45:13

That's why he needs

Simone 45:13

I'm fine.

Leah 45:14

That's why everyone gets their own bathroom.

Choice Change Podcast

Simone 45:16

Yeah, yeah. So maybe it's about making more money and getting a separate wing, but that's the thing. Maybe it's, you know, or maybe it's like. Like, at one time I remember, you know, I said to my partner, Hey, because he was just really weirded out and funky and, and I'm always like, Hey, mancave is a real thing. It's like, you need to give them the mancave thing. And, and I said, why don't you go camping and go surfing or do something like that? And he, he actually didn't at that point, but he said, Simone, you suggesting that to me and being so okay with me just leaving. And I said, leave Nash with me, his kid, and I'll, I'll take care of Nash. It's fine. You know? But having that conversation, not going, no, you need to do this, or Why do you wanna do this without me? It's like, no, you actually require space so I get some space. You know? So even if that's you looking for that, then can you actually say, Hey, you know what? I think I wanna go away for a week. I think I wanna go some something, anything. But have a look at why are you stuck? What is it that you desire and require that you're not asking for? So that's what I would say. And then again, don't try and have the conversation before you have it. And then the second question, Leah, when you were saying about people actually seeking a relationship is. Personally, I would ask for what is the energy you would like in a relationship? I see so many people nowadays with that, you know, I wanting to be six foot two, have this degree, have this da da da. And it's like, oh man. It's like, what if you asked for someone who was kind, caring, and nurturing and great in bed to show up? You know, what if, what if there was a different element of how you asked for something?'cause you weren't needing to have that from somebody else. So,

Willow 46:54

Right.

Simone 46:55

Yeah,

Leah 46:55

Yeah, because that list oftentimes is like, it's about status. It's not really about the heart. It's again, what can I get?

Simone 47:04

Yeah.

Leah 47:04

Um, and yeah, it might be why there's a lot of really unhappy single people out there. Their standards are just like a, a mountain long.

Willow 47:12

I feel like what you just spoke to is that you know, your five elements really need to be in place within the person so that they are valuing kindness, you know, and supportive and good in bad, rather than six foot two makes 300 million a year, whatever it is, you know?

Simone 47:34

yeah, No, I agree. And you, you don't, you don't need, yeah. Again, you don't, if you have the five elements of intimacy with you, you don't need to have like this status in somebody else because you're totally okay with, with where you're at and who you are and your choices. So then ask for someone who, yeah. Yeah.

Willow 47:51

so all of this is in your book, right? All like this is because I'm like already like, where's my Post-it notes? I'm gonna get these on the bathroom mirror. I'm gonna be looking at them every day. I'm super excited. I'm

Simone 48:03

Yeah. A lot of the,

Willow 48:03

with all of my single clients. I got a lot of single men I'm working with these days, so I'm gonna help them out too. And um, and so in the book, go ahead,

Simone 48:13

well, no, I've had a lot of people actually,'cause we are quite vulnerable in this book, the relationship. Are you sure you want one? Like even there was at one stage because I was earning more money than him, it's like it had that really weird sense, like, like he had no say in what was happening with money. So I remember one time when I said, Hey, I wanted to have sex and he didn't wanna have sex. And um, at that moment, and then I went, what if I pay you? And he went, what? I went, what if I pay you? And he was like, how much? I was like, 500 bucks. So it was so cool because we, yeah, we had sex and, and then because I was paying him, he made everything about me

Willow 48:54

About you.

Simone 48:56

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And then

Willow 48:58

your needs met. He got his needs met, and then you guys were in good standing again.

Simone 49:03

Yeah. Yeah. But it was a play. And then, you know, I left$500 on the bedside table and it wasn't like, this is what you have to spend it on, it's your money. Right. So I remember he spent, he went and got himself a massage and then the rest of the money, he went and brought us dinner and a nice bottle of wine and stuff. But, but that was his choice, you know, and the whole thing was placed. So we have a lot of stories like that, that we actually use these tools and

Willow 49:27

Okay. So it's a lot of

Leah 49:29

That's really creative.

Willow 49:30

of how to you massage them into your life. Okay. Fun. That sounds really great. I love the cover too. It's like got um, a comic book vibe to it. It's so cute. Yeah.

Simone 49:41

yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where To Find Simone

Leah 49:42

And then you also have a podcast, uh, choice Change in Action podcast. Tell us a little bit about your show.

Simone 49:49

Choice. Change in action. Actually, the funny thing is my ex named it'cause he's really good at coming up with names and I spoke to him about what I wanted. And for me it's like if you look at your whole entire life, it's like, you know, what are you choosing? And I see people talking about, oh, I wish I had this, I wish I had that. I wish I had this. Well you actually gotta take some action. If you wanna change something, you've gotta take some action. So it's to do with many different things. Like a lot of the classes I do too, on business and money, business, money, everything. So whatever area of your life that you think is not working for you, what do you have to choose? Because as you choose, you create a different future. What do you need to change and what action can you take? So we cover many, many different topics, but that's the basis of it.

the Dish with Leah & Dr. Willow

Willow 50:32

I love that. So it's not just, um, sexuality and relationships, it's about business and finance and all

Simone 50:37

Yes. Yeah,

Willow 50:39

Which is, they're so synonymous. I mean, what's if you, your relationship to one thing is your relationship to everything. I, I, I'll never forget the year that I was like really just examined, like my relationship to money, you know, my relationship to my sexuality, my relationship to a partner or to, you know, family or whatever. We always think of relationships as just. Two people, but there are actually two really important sectors of our life relationship to health. You know, we're doing a whole segment right now on biohacking for better sex. And like, how can that really, um, change the way that you relate to your body and you know, your ultimate overall vitality and longevity.

Simone 51:20

Yeah. And I know I looked at your website and I saw some of the courses that you have down the bottom, and I was like, that's really cool that you offer that, because I remember years ago, I, I brought a, a course or something about how to give a man a penis massage. remember when I, when I was like, said to my, my lover, Hey, do you wanna do this? And he was like, I don't know if I'm gonna get hard. And I went, it's not about you kidding. Hard. And it was like an hour and a half of just like playing, he almost fell asleep. And he said to me at that moment, he said, Simone, I think that's the moment you taught me how to receive.

Leah 51:54

Wow. Yeah. That's so beautiful. That is, that gets right to the heart of it

Willow 51:59

the magic. I mean, that's what we, when we can, because when we can open up our receptivity, then hello. So much can come to us. It's the same thing as like asking for help. It's actually a gift to the other person to, to help you like they want to, you know?

Leah 52:16

Yeah. and it trans, it also transcends something to a deeper level. You get to be seen on a more deeper, more emotional, more spiritual, more energetic place. It's not just friction and get off. It, it gets much more dimensional

Willow 52:33

Mm-hmm.

Leah 52:34

when you let somebody in that way.

Simone 52:35

very yummy. Yes.

Leah 52:37

Yeah. Yeah.

Willow 52:39

All right, well tune in with Simone Milasas. Where can people find you? What's the best way

Simone 52:45

Uh, my website, I, there is no other Simone Milasas, so my Instagram, Facebook, website, everything is my name. Simone Milasas. M-I-L-A-S-A-S is the last name. So yeah, very easy.

Willow 52:59

Awesome.

Leah 52:59

Thank you so much for joining us today. A real pleasure to speak with you

Willow 53:03

much fun and I love your accent, your Australian accent down under.

Simone 53:10

That's pretty good.

Leah 53:12

Yeah,

Simone 53:13

Thank you so much for having me.

Leah 53:16

You're welcome. So, uh, hey friends, look, the show's not over. We got more, we got the dish coming right up with myself and the lovely Dr. Willows, so please stay tuned. I.

53:27

Now our favorite part, the dish.

Leah 53:33

Yeah, I sure do like those Australians. Every time we've had an Aussie on the show, it's been so lovely.

Willow 53:40

They're just, they're very freed up. There's a, a little bit more of a freed up, uh, something going on in their nervous systems, I would say, than like Americans. I love being in Australia. It's one of the most amazing, beautiful places to travel and explore. So, um, it's so funny'cause I have this. Gorgeous Australian lover who lately I am like, when is he gonna circle back around? Maybe we need to go to Australia together. So it might be something that it's time to ask for. You know, that was one of the things I love that she talked about was just like asking for you what you want and what you need and, and the vulnerability. I mean, I thought all of her elements, her five

Leah 54:21

loved her elements.

Willow 54:22

super great.

Leah 54:23

Super. Great. I'm gonna definitely write them on the mirror.

Willow 54:26

Me too. Which was the one that, that you were the most,

Leah 54:30

Let,

Willow 54:31

I really wanna bring that one in. I'll

Leah 54:33

review them again. They're, oh, you've

Willow 54:35

gratitude, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and honor.

Leah 54:42

Yeah, I think allowance is, would be a really great practice. When I get, um, a little flooded, I get really tight. You know, and I think I, um, am stingy with allowing myself to get untight and I think I'm stingy with other people. And so I think allowance would be such a beautiful practice for me to just kind of go, okay, where can I allow? Where can I be more allowing? Where can I be more spacious? Like I can just, even just feeling into the word, I feel myself unwind a little bit. And then I think what comes right after that is honor. You know, how can I honor and see this person

Willow 55:23

Mm-hmm.

Leah 55:23

really there? And not like my colored triggered state. I think it would be a, but I think both those things would be really important keys for me to get Untriggered.

Willow 55:32

Okay. Those, I knew you were gonna say allowance right off the bat, and then because we just traveled together and you kept coming back to this little, um, little terminology, let them, which did, you know, there's a whole book on

Leah 55:45

Oh yeah. Yeah. There's a whole, it's a huge movement. It's a podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

Willow 55:51

Cool. So yeah, that, I mean, that really does speak to allowance. Just like let them, you know, let them be them and, and, and then honor, honor them for who they are. It's so powerful.

Leah 56:02

yourself, you know, like sometimes I don't allow myself to transition, you know, to let something go that I think somehow I have to keep holding onto as if it says something or means something. Like to give myself permission to just like, honor that maybe I don't wanna do something anymore, you know? Or, or honor the fact that I wanna pursue something. And that might mean allowing myself to let go of something else, you know?

Willow 56:26

yeah. Beautiful.

Leah 56:28

When you take commitment so damn seriously that you strangle the shit out of it.

Willow 56:36

You to bondage that commitment up, right?

Leah 56:40

Right? Yeah. Or you bonded yourself up

Willow 56:43

yeah,

Leah 56:43

So I think all these things are real. I think she's right. I think doing this for yourself, with yourself, to understand your own inner landscape and your relationship to gratitude, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and honors, like the place to begin, and then how I just, it, it makes sense that it would then be so much more effortless. To gift it to those that come into your life, you know, if you have it

Willow 57:08

because you're already gifting it to yourself. I think for me, I mean, I am always in a gratitude practice, like where every night I lay down and I go through the day and I just think about, okay, that moment with my puppy on the beach and that. Food that I ate. You know, I think about all the things that I'm gr grateful for. So I've got those like gratitude practices in place. But, um, I think coming out of the last three years of like really big contractive, rebirthing has been really intense. And so I, I used to have just more ease with gratitude. Like it was just, I was gratitude. I was always in that state of appreciation. It just was who I was. And I feel like calling that back in and being more in a practice of that, like all day long. And I think also the honoring, you know, I was talking with a client the other day about, you know, how we're all out to get something in the world and we're out to get something in our relationships. And I think there's a reframe around like, what can I, what can I offer? And, and so even in the honoring of self, it's like, what can I offer myself so that I am more aligned, more researched more, more in allowance, more open, more soft,

Leah 58:26

Mm-hmm.

Willow 58:27

receiving. It's gonna make whatever interaction happens next, like so much more delightful.

Leah 58:34

Yeah, it's a nice little five step code to unwinding yourself from feeling tight.

Willow 58:40

Mm-hmm.

Leah 58:41

Really good things.

Willow 58:42

Yeah,

Leah 58:43

I liked it. I wonder if, um, do you know if liquid chalk, if you can write it on a mirror, it should be able to wipe off the way.

Willow 58:52

I don't even know what that is. Like a thing you write on the

Leah 58:55

Yeah, it's a, it's a pen that's chalk. I'm

Willow 58:58

Oh, liquid

Leah 58:59

ruin them. Any mirrors?

Willow 59:00

you know what I heard? I heard you say liquid shock. I'm like, what is this? Some new like BDSM toy that we can Liquid shock.

Leah 59:08

liquid chalk. Is this a new drug on the funny?

Willow 59:17

little tiny post-it notes. Can't go wrong with post-it notes,

Leah 59:20

That's true. That's true.

Willow 59:22

so tell us, everyone write it in the comments. What are the the elements that you want to give more attention to in your own relationship with yourself and maybe in relationship with other intimate partners?

Leah 59:36

We can't wait to read all about it, so till the next time. Love, love, love.

Willow 59:42

Cheers.