Whine & Dine

Dating Talk : The Journey of Self-Discovery Post Heartbreak

February 18, 2024 Miguel Season 2 Episode 1
Dating Talk : The Journey of Self-Discovery Post Heartbreak
Whine & Dine
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Whine & Dine
Dating Talk : The Journey of Self-Discovery Post Heartbreak
Feb 18, 2024 Season 2 Episode 1
Miguel

Remember when you last caught up with a friend you hadn't seen in ages? That's exactly what unfolded when Isobel, a cherished old friend and former roommate, joined me to traverse the landscape of relationships, identity, and career paths. As Isobel, a black woman making waves in the fashion industry, shared her journey, we unearthed the complexities of professional growth amid societal privilege, drawing parallels to the arts and broadcasting sectors where similar challenges persist. Our candid conversation wrapped itself around the subtleties of London's dating scene, unmasking the nuanced dance of romance in a bustling metropolis.

Heartbreaks can be transformative, and our discussion ventured into the thorny aftermath of relationships. Isobel and I peeled back the layers of post-breakup life, spotlighting the overlooked warning signs and the strenuous yet rewarding path to rediscovering one's worth. As the dialogue ventured into personal anecdotes, we celebrated the thrills of new romantic endeavors, the resilience fostered through solo adventures, and the anticipation that pulses with the promise of future connections. It was a raw, heartfelt exchange that mirrored the emotional whirlwind breakups often are, offering a beacon of hope for those navigating their own rocky romantic terrains.

Our conversation took several delightful detours, spanning the gamut from long-distance love stories, to the trials of balancing career ambitions with matters of the heart. We shared laughter over past travel mishaps, the shared love of indulgent eats, and the sustenance that strong friendships provide. As the episode drew to a close, the air was rich with tales of personal growth, the joy of exploring sexuality, and the enduring bonds that shape our journey through life. Join Isobel and me for an episode that's as much a celebration of the ties that bind us as it is a reflection on the solitary paths we carve in search of love and fulfillment.

Support the Show.

https://linktr.ee/lifeofmiguel07

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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Remember when you last caught up with a friend you hadn't seen in ages? That's exactly what unfolded when Isobel, a cherished old friend and former roommate, joined me to traverse the landscape of relationships, identity, and career paths. As Isobel, a black woman making waves in the fashion industry, shared her journey, we unearthed the complexities of professional growth amid societal privilege, drawing parallels to the arts and broadcasting sectors where similar challenges persist. Our candid conversation wrapped itself around the subtleties of London's dating scene, unmasking the nuanced dance of romance in a bustling metropolis.

Heartbreaks can be transformative, and our discussion ventured into the thorny aftermath of relationships. Isobel and I peeled back the layers of post-breakup life, spotlighting the overlooked warning signs and the strenuous yet rewarding path to rediscovering one's worth. As the dialogue ventured into personal anecdotes, we celebrated the thrills of new romantic endeavors, the resilience fostered through solo adventures, and the anticipation that pulses with the promise of future connections. It was a raw, heartfelt exchange that mirrored the emotional whirlwind breakups often are, offering a beacon of hope for those navigating their own rocky romantic terrains.

Our conversation took several delightful detours, spanning the gamut from long-distance love stories, to the trials of balancing career ambitions with matters of the heart. We shared laughter over past travel mishaps, the shared love of indulgent eats, and the sustenance that strong friendships provide. As the episode drew to a close, the air was rich with tales of personal growth, the joy of exploring sexuality, and the enduring bonds that shape our journey through life. Join Isobel and me for an episode that's as much a celebration of the ties that bind us as it is a reflection on the solitary paths we carve in search of love and fulfillment.

Support the Show.

https://linktr.ee/lifeofmiguel07

Speaker 1:

Let's frå both copies, so it's really good to go to the library again. Right, it's recording how you doing. Isabelle, welcome back.

Speaker 2:

It's so good. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, glad to have you back. You know I adore you and we used to live together. So, for a little bit of context, we used to live together and remain friends ever since.

Speaker 2:

We clicked since the beginning. I was actually moved in because of McGee he looked cool.

Speaker 1:

I know you remember me saying I remember seeing you where you look at me, you wave at me, you smile. I was like that's such a warm smile. And then two hours later you moved in. But yeah, how have you been? I haven't seen you since when.

Speaker 2:

I think ages, I want to say maybe last year. I know it's not been that long since last year.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I don't know where maybe December. It's been a while. I went to yours and we were there for like an hour.

Speaker 2:

Just debriefing.

Speaker 1:

Just debriefing, speaking of search. So let's go right, let's jump into it, because we're going to talk about relationships dating in London. So give us a, because you had a different name and a different episode for different reasons, like professional reasons. So tell us where you're from, you're upbringing, etc.

Speaker 2:

So born in London but from Hartfordshire Humble upbringing I used to, you know, grew up in the countryside Grew up in a very white dominated area.

Speaker 1:

That's what we talked about last time.

Speaker 2:

And yeah, I went to Union Epson again, another white dominated area.

Speaker 1:

Any working fashion.

Speaker 2:

And I work in fashion.

Speaker 1:

That's okay if we talk about this for a little bit. And how's it going? Right now? It's good.

Speaker 2:

It's challenging, it's got its challenges as a black female in fashion as you would, especially in the type of role I'm in.

Speaker 1:

It's very difficult, but yeah, let's talk about that for like two minutes. So, because we have a mutual friend, we have a mutual friend and you told me she goes through the same. So do you find similarities on your ex? Because she has a different job, doesn't she? So she works for the theatre, or she makes clothes for the theatre. Oh yeah, she but she also witnesses the same kind of treatment, I guess.

Speaker 2:

Oh god, yeah, she's seen things and a lot of discrimination. She's like speaking to you recently about other people have certain opportunities that she don't, but you can clearly see she's more talented.

Speaker 1:

What about privileges? You know who Jamie Lang is from.

Speaker 2:

Aitton Chelsea, of course.

Speaker 1:

I do. Have you heard of what happened recently? This is why I wanted to speak to your brother and so I think he got I don't know, I don't know much of it, I just read some tweets. So he got a job in BBC Radio, bbc One I think, and people are like criticising him, like left, front and centre, saying he's got a privilege. What about people who stood it for it, people who got the merit? Okay, so he's got a name. He's got some sweets, he's selling some sweets which are really nice.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they're my favourite sweets and now you're vegan as well.

Speaker 1:

Yes, no, I'm not vegan, but yeah, so he got this position just because of his name.

Speaker 2:

I will say, though, he's definitely privileged and he's had way more of an advice from anybody else, but he's kind of popular in that scene. He's got quite a good podcast.

Speaker 1:

I do listen to his podcast. Which one?

Speaker 2:

Because he's got newly leds with his girlfriend and his wife. That's why I listen to his only one.

Speaker 1:

But you alright, because you used to have a different podcast with another guy from Made in Chelsea, Remember.

Speaker 2:

With the brown hair. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think he went to Africa for a few months, or for years, I think, and then he came back to Made in.

Speaker 2:

Chelsea. Oh my gosh, I think I do whatever I like. I've got a money for it.

Speaker 1:

Well, including you know, kind of drop it at the BBC Radio. Oh yeah, yeah. So he's getting some backlash.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean they occupy a lot of spaces that maybe they don't deserve, but they will always have that privilege, always have that privilege. Always have that. You know, head start. What's everybody?

Speaker 1:

else yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like of course it's like every industry you could study for and get into it. But you know, he's got that following and he's got that popularity.

Speaker 1:

So is it all about and we'll get to relationships in a minute but is it all about, I don't know, you being a tiktoker and that's all it takes for you to get a job? Oh gosh.

Speaker 2:

At the moment. Yeah, all we've got to do is be every five minutes of fame, and you can do whatever you want, yeah, get us a fashion brand and, you know, be a celebrity.

Speaker 1:

So what's the point of going to uni? There isn't one anymore, I know.

Speaker 2:

People say that I find to tell people now, I would do a trade, I would study for a trade or study for tech, I wouldn't do anything else.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that and I think, for example, because my fathment is an architect, I probably would study, that I would study medicine or whatever, because you'll get a guaranteed job, I guess, 100%, you don't have to be a tiktoker to get it. Yeah, all right, okay, so where have we been up to? It's been a while, and let's talk about dating.

Speaker 2:

Dating.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I've had so many dates I don't know if I spoke about it. So I had a relationship and I think I want to say September.

Speaker 1:

That's what I was going to ask you about, because you told me about this guy. How long were you going on dates with him?

Speaker 2:

We only dated I say only, but it was quite focused for about four or five months.

Speaker 1:

Five months yeah.

Speaker 2:

I met his family. It was quite concentrated and he will stay at my house in London quite a bit. So even though it was five months, we spent a lot of time together, but it was long distance.

Speaker 1:

And how did you meet him? Was he in Bombol or Tinder, or?

Speaker 2:

something we met, I believe through Hinge, and he lives kind of far. I don't know how we matched because he doesn't live in London, he lives outside London, yeah, and that place you're not, you don't want to say. So yeah, he traveled down to London for the first date, got on. I mean, he kind of just went on from there like quite consistent really. Nice was treated very well at the beginning.

Speaker 1:

When did you? Because this is you know, everyone has their own experiences and people get criticised for moving on too fast or, for, you know, jumping into something. But when did you meet his family? How long were you in? Were you in a relationship?

Speaker 2:

Three months, in three or four months.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so it was.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, fairly in. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I thought it was you're going to tell me like a month, because I remember telling you. I remember when you told me about whatever you guys had. Yeah, I remember. But then I told you I think, and I thought it's a bit too fast, but you know what, it's your relationship, it's no one else's business.

Speaker 2:

But you're not wrong. It's because we broke up for a bit. That's why we did.

Speaker 1:

And then we got back together.

Speaker 2:

So that's why and you said that to me after so you broke up, got together and met his parents fairly soon after you got back together.

Speaker 1:

I think me telling you that it wasn't because I was too fast, because I don't care in a good sense I don't care, because it's your, you know, as long as you're happy. I think it was because, breaking up To me there's a reason why we broke up in the first place. Again, everyone's different, but this is how I feel and I think like retrospectively, because I had a boyfriend, for we lost the 10 plus years but we broke up. I can't remember when. I can't remember, I can't remember how long in a relationship we were already we broke up and then we got back together months later and had I known what I know now, I probably wouldn't have, and that's why I'm a bit like maybe the PTSD alarm just ringing.

Speaker 2:

It wasn't wrong and I had another friend called Grace and she's booked him on a phone and she had the same type of things that you said. But she just let me get on with it and learn.

Speaker 1:

So do you know what? Sometimes that's what you need. Yeah, sometimes, no matter what your friends tell you, no matter what you read or see on social media, you need to go through that, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And my mom says pretty much the same things. But you know, I'm not gonna listen to this, I gotta go through it. Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1:

I agree Because I think we, as from a friends and family perspective, we're done if we do anything. We're done if we don't Exactly.

Speaker 1:

So because, for example, I know people who had a relationship like a really ridiculous person. And then you know what, if we'd said anything, maybe we would have been, I don't know, getting in the middle of something, but then if we don't say anything, you probably turn up to people, would turn up to me and be like why haven't you told me? Why haven't you told me? It's not easy, but I will always give you my opinion, but I will also know the right moment to tell you that opinion.

Speaker 2:

I appreciate it. I would never want to hear it.

Speaker 1:

So what happened? So yeah, so you met his family and then Really, good Parents love me.

Speaker 2:

It was like really great. I went to a different city. It was probably in the countryside, so we spent like a weekend there and drove out to another city, lovely nearby city, beautiful, loved it. Parents are lovely. Got nothing bad to say.

Speaker 1:

Nice.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it was absolutely adorable and I don't know, we just went down.

Speaker 1:

From there to what To what happened.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, just to went downhill in terms of his mental health. Okay, yeah, and it just sucks and I suffer from bad mental health myself. I try and contain it to me as much as possible. All the way, you know, step back.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

I'm from people who say, like I need a minute, I'm just going to have to rot for a second, but I just, yeah, got dumped out the blue on his birthday.

Speaker 1:

I mean, obviously I know the reason, but do you mind telling us?

Speaker 2:

It was. So he had underlining really bad mental health issues Like but just I'd say like a lot of PTSD from his military.

Speaker 1:

So he was in the army.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, he was. I think he joined when he was I want to say 17, 16, something like that, and he did tours and whatever. I was almost really young to be doing things like that. Come back, send the military, but a different part of it, but I don't think they really take care of their people.

Speaker 1:

I've heard that Not just here in America as well. They don't care about the beds, they don't care about the military sometimes they just want numbers.

Speaker 2:

Exactly that. And I'm not saying that I'm excusable for behaviour but it must be hard. I could never really fathom.

Speaker 1:

And that just bleeds into relationships and unfortunately, you collateral damage and, yeah, you just treat others like shit. Yeah, and that's what happened, right.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, it was all really good and rosy, and then when it got bad, it got really bad and it was just really crap. And yeah, on his birthday he ghosted me for about three days and so I had his presents everything Breakup on a phone. It was really cold. I've not seen him since had to have been his present. He would give him a Ray and his card and they had stuff at my house. It was really quite an issue.

Speaker 1:

It's messy. Yeah, really yeah.

Speaker 2:

Check the truck and stuff away. Not seen him since or heard from well.

Speaker 1:

But wait, is that the first time when you broke up?

Speaker 2:

No, the first time we broke.

Speaker 1:

That's the second time we were fighting yeah, because I would never go back.

Speaker 2:

But the first time we broke up the blue because I should have seen the signs I think he said ah, he didn't want to hurt me.

Speaker 1:

Oh, there we go. Oh, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2:

It's so silly, I should have listened.

Speaker 1:

It's not you, it's me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I was like so confused because again out the blue was really good. It gets really high. If it gets too good, I thought you would just like copped out.

Speaker 1:

I find those. It's something that I find those people kind of exhausting in a way, because when they're lovey, dovey, when, like, they're very hyper, they're very hyper about everything you know about you that all they can see is you, let's speak, my family, let's just stuff together what you do and what you're doing. They cut messaging and then they turn cold, just like that.

Speaker 2:

Oh God yeah, I mean, last time we spoke in person he made such an effort to come down to me. He was like, let's go home next year. I was sick. And then also he's met my friends and they laughed him and so like, what is if that happens?

Speaker 1:

That's what I mean. I mean they're all lovely. You know, it's like, this is very toxic. It's like, for example, it's not what happened to you. But I'm going to give you a different example. So let's say, someone who's an abuser.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

They usually love by the community. They love by people until they know the truth about them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And you know, I'm not, I don't, I don't want to to make him the bad guy, to be the bad guy, but I'm just saying that's. That's kind of the same pattern.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, everyone loves them but apart from their partners, apart from them, yeah, apart from how they actually am.

Speaker 1:

And apart from themselves.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think there's a lot of self-hatred there.

Speaker 1:

So you would never go back to him.

Speaker 2:

I would never go back, hell, no, so I haven't been since it was good Like. I just know my worth now, so I've had a lot of crap situations, which I like, but anyway. So broke out, whatever I would say. I moved on Like the damage was done. I was upset for quite a while, but I moved on quickly because I know my worth Good, and so took me a month or so to go on more dates, but I wasn't ready for relationship.

Speaker 1:

And you're also busy with work?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm very busy yeah.

Speaker 1:

You travel here with me. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

But no, I know my worth now. So people try and act up like that. I would just tend to go away.

Speaker 1:

So do you want to give us like an example of like further dates that you had?

Speaker 2:

I had a really good time.

Speaker 1:

Listen, this is what for everyone to know. We haven't spoken since last year, basically. Pretty much as in in person, like what were debriefed so and last time we were just talking about him, this guy from the military.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I have no idea what you've been up to since.

Speaker 2:

Well, december time I was hamming out the dates. I was absolutely having the best time of my life. I had so many fun dates. It was just incredible. I met some cool people, went to arcade, come and garden drinks really, really fun times. Met someone off a different app and actually I met him in printworks previously, so now we're going to go to a gig together in April.

Speaker 1:

So you were with friends.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we were in friends when did you say friends? No, purely Honest.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was just spending the day, okay, yeah, yeah, I don't know that's a good question, but hopefully just friends. No, you never know. You never know, you're single, they're single I am, but Okay, so you've been on a few dates. Yeah, is there any experience that you want to tell us about? Like stood out? Have you had them? We don't always have to talk about bad ones, but any good one that you want to mention Any good one Apart from that person from printworks.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that was a good one. I had some really fun dates of a guy, so we went to come and garden.

Speaker 1:

You love it there.

Speaker 2:

I know I did too. This is right by what? We had some drinks, really fun chat, I thought I just anyway. It wasn't really going anywhere, but we met up again in Soho. I'm all like I thought we were going to go as friends or whatever, but I met my favorite drag queen called Tace.

Speaker 1:

No, you haven't met Tace there. You met Tace with me in Manchester Pride.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's the first time I met her again.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I know, I remember you see some of the pictures.

Speaker 2:

I know, I know I saw her got my picture. I'm obsessed with her.

Speaker 1:

I remember. You see a picture.

Speaker 2:

So it was just a really fun time. I was just a corporate, I just didn't really take it too seriously.

Speaker 1:

I think I remember when that happened because you told me you were on a date with this lovely guy or whatever, and then Tace was there. You were like hang on a minute, and he's just like I run out.

Speaker 2:

And he started taking pictures of us, too Going. Yes, it was just really fun.

Speaker 1:

You still keep in touch with that guy.

Speaker 2:

It got. He doesn't want anything serious. I was like that's cool. I'm not going to date with him again. I'm not going to date with him again. I'm not going to date with him ever. I'm sure I'll see him again at some point as friends.

Speaker 1:

Do you want something serious?

Speaker 2:

I'm now ready for something serious you are I am. I'm trying to be more conscious of dating. I went on a date last Thursday and I did make it known that. I make it known now that I'm ready for something serious, because I love meeting fun people.

Speaker 1:

But, yeah, it's good for a certain amount of time, yeah, and then it depends on what your head is. But you know my story. I'm actually I'm dating someone now, yeah, since October, and you know whatever. Tell us more. This is about you being sorry, isabel. Isabel's name was Bia in the previous episode, but what I was going to say so, oh yeah. So I want to talk about the dynamics.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because you've recently come out and I want to ask you about that. And then I want to ask you about the differences between dating men and women. If you have, okay, but tell us about your coming out story. Well, it was just, it was just.

Speaker 2:

Christmas time. So it's I. Everyone knows like I've loved the gay community, been, you know, my. A lot of my friends are queer so I've just been around that. But more male friends are queer so I've been in a more male queer spaces. Yeah, and we'll just talk. I've been watching news, Watch the news or something, yeah, and my someone said a comment and I've had you know what I'm by, right. I was like you know what I'm by. You said that that me.

Speaker 2:

I was like, I was like, let's my mum and to my brother, and I'm like what? And they don't care one bit, Like I was going to ask you about that. They would not care one bit, like at all. And I'm like, oh, the comment was, oh by, people are greedy. And I was just like wait a minute. And they put it in a jokie way. Yeah, and I was like wait what?

Speaker 1:

I'm by, so they say. I saw a meme which says was by and versatile, and then the answer to that, whatever that definition was, god can't make a mind up, she can't come up with a decision. Oh okay, good for you. He told me this like ages ago, but I didn't know your family knew about that. Yeah, cause I've never been with eight of a girl Ever, but have you been with girls though?

Speaker 2:

Of kiss girls.

Speaker 1:

I haven't done the full thing.

Speaker 2:

No, I haven't, and.

Speaker 1:

I don't do it. No full sex though.

Speaker 2:

Correct. I don't attract women. I don't really think I do. Oh, I don't really see it, cause I'm oh, the ones you do.

Speaker 1:

You're probably not interested, cause I remember I was in Manchester Pride with you and one girl was really interested in you. I wasn't proud, manchester was in London. Yeah, I was, I was very old, okay, okay, so and and you were like, yeah, great, but no, yeah you were not interested whatsoever.

Speaker 2:

I've got a particular type, I'd say.

Speaker 1:

I think it's more style. What's your type? What's your type?

Speaker 2:

I love style. I like punkish style. I quite like Android in this as well. I, like you know, I like really fancy. Someone called Danny Spooner.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm gonna google that person now.

Speaker 2:

And I saw them as a favourite dancer right.

Speaker 1:

What's your name?

Speaker 2:

Danny Spooner Danny.

Speaker 1:

Spooner Obsessed An Australian singer. No, so yeah, this guy that we were just saying so, is he like, did you actually love him? The guy we're not gonna mention his name, but we spoke about this.

Speaker 2:

I said to you I didn't think I loved him, but I think I actually did love him. I think I did.

Speaker 1:

No, at least you know it yeah.

Speaker 2:

I think I actually I don't think I love my ex, even though we just say I'm like I love you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But I think I love that guy I think. I really did or really do?

Speaker 1:

I don't know Do you think the words I love you should be taken less seriously sometimes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because I've said it and I don't think I was in love with my ex.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but you can love someone but not being in love I guess yeah, but before I was.

Speaker 2:

I loved the idea of love, but I think I've only been in love with one person. But is it in love or is it obsession? I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes it's both, sometimes it's none, sometimes it's just like an illusion that we create, but I think you love them.

Speaker 2:

I think I did and I think I've grown. I think I'm in love with him now, but I'm still like, I'm still a hope he's happy, he's actually in a relationship. It open relationship. Is he, yes, but he still wants to come to see me on Saturday.

Speaker 1:

So he loves you back, doesn't?

Speaker 2:

he, no, he doesn't love me back, I think he just loves you.

Speaker 1:

I think it's just.

Speaker 2:

I think it's an obsession. I was like you know what dude.

Speaker 1:

He's only human right.

Speaker 2:

I said to him let's be friends, like we just don't leave each other alone. Let's be friends, let's sit wine and judge people, like let's be friends, but that's me and you? Yeah, I was like, let me see you. I was like come on, like your relationship. Now I've had my relationship, you've moved on. You've known each other since the start of uni. So what eight, nine years?

Speaker 1:

I was gonna ask yeah, yeah, I remember you talking, it's been ongoing.

Speaker 2:

You've seen a lot of shit. I was like let's just be best friends and I thought cool. I was like sweet. And then he messaged me Saturday to come to my house. I was like, obviously just seeing me as a little fat buddy then that's what.

Speaker 1:

listen, that's a great segue that we're gonna get into, because I'm gonna ask you do you think and this is just a question, but I have my own opinion do you think a straight man in a straight? Okay, it's not straight, I get, it is bisexual, yeah, but so are you? Do you think okay, let's talk about in general a straight man can be best friends with a straight?

Speaker 2:

woman? Oh, good question. I think it would be very flirty because I have a straight best friend, um very straight best friend loving to bits actual love.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, I've been flirty over time now it's just like it's all chilling, but yeah, okay, but it was some flirting at some point.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we've been together at that point, but we've never been in like fanc-, like we just fancies each other. He's still a good looking dude, like he's always flirting, but I think straight men, straight, like females, together as friends.

Speaker 1:

He makes the hormones and the testosterone together it's gonna be at. Someone likes each other but this is what people say about. Maybe they can be, because this is what people say about the gay community and it's not always like we're not all slots all the time. Not everyone is a slag, you know, and you know I use those terms loosely because I'm not taking them that seriously yeah, but people, yeah, people think because you two gay guys, you must have sex yeah you know at some point.

Speaker 2:

But no, okay, all right that's fair, yeah, that's fair but I think let's just might be me and my friends.

Speaker 1:

I think everyone's just quite extroverted okay, okay, I'm very introverted, I think. I'm introverted you are introverted, but so am I.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but my friends are mostly extroverted yeah, so you're also quite social and cool, like you can always so are you yeah, I rock. You know, I rock for like days, so do I though. Yeah, yeah, that's where we get on. Yeah, very similar. Yeah, lift the game.

Speaker 1:

You won't see me for days and you were just like exactly I remember, and that presents how we'd even message you saying are you live? Yes, so how? It was your you. You heard your head at the moment. So what, we're talking about dating, yeah, so where are you at the moment? Could you say you're ready, but already are you on the website? Are you actively looking or you're just going with the flow?

Speaker 2:

not actively looking like I had that day. It was fun, not for me. Um, if I can, if I meet someone a gemini like if I talked to someone a gemini want to meet them yeah when I meet them.

Speaker 2:

But I'm not going to go and date for the sake of it because I'm more busy. Yeah, I've become more social, more like with my friends, and I love my me time. So I'm not going to meet a stranger for no reason. If I don't, if I, I'm not going to go to a date. They may not know and they want to potentially find a partner yeah, now, yeah, I get it, but does that?

Speaker 1:

does that mean because you I don't know if you can talk about this, but you wanted to move to New York? Yes, can we talk about this? Yeah, okay, so you wanted to move that, do you think that's in the back of your mind? Therefore, you're not taking dates as seriously as you probably could have, because actually do you mention it because you mentioned the guy from the military. You, I think you're going to have a long distance relationship. Yeah, yeah, I mentioned like that's what I want to talk about. I want to.

Speaker 2:

I was like I want to go to New York. Okay, I'm actively going to want to go to New York. It could be tomorrow, next year, four years time, but I do want to go to New York. And um, and they were like, yeah, maybe could, like we spoke about, it's like maybe fly over, maybe, like I don't know, base up somewhere, I don't know okay, so let's talk about this guy that I'm dating.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so he works in the film industry. Oh, cool, yeah, and um, he, he has contracts instead of like a permanent role, a permanent job in, because he works in different films, in different series, whatever, um, and part of his role, part of his job, is to work abroad. So he's gonna work. I think I can say he's gonna work in the Jurassic Park project, the new one. I've already finished with Jurassic Park, which is my favorite, but now they're gonna drag it out and it's gonna come up.

Speaker 2:

It's gonna come up with a new one is that what it?

Speaker 1:

yeah, probably. I've never seen it, but yeah, so he's working on that and part of his job is going to be based in London. Yeah, but he will need to go to Malta and, uh, thailand, which is amazing but he's gonna be working. How long? Oh, it's a thing. So the whole thing is three months, but it will be a month in Malta, in a month in Thailand. Back to back, yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2:

So only two months away.

Speaker 1:

I don't know if it's consecutive, two consecutive months, yeah, but I know, even if they extended his contract and he was gonna work until 2025 in London, which is fine, okay, I can, I can do with that. However, he does long shifts and that, but that's not a point. Anyway, he does long shifts, like 12 hour shifts every day, monday till Friday, sometimes the the odd occasional Saturdays great money, apparently great money. I'm not counting his, uh, his money, but I was a product, apparently. So, because I was like I freaked out a little bit. I even talked with my other friend and people have different opinions. Some people would be like, just do what you need to do now, just safeguard yourself, but other people say, no, some relationships. I like that. Some people work abroad, some people work away and they still have families. So I was going to ask you about that Because obviously you thought of having a long distance relationship, so you still have that mindset.

Speaker 2:

I still have that mindset 100%. I think like love Trump's kind of the distance. And I was not easy but you know you can catch a plane and do it. It's exhausting but it's for work and if it works like long shifts it's going to be exhausting Like I'm just going to New York because I want an experience and also I want to do for my career, so I don't see anything else. If I had like the love of my life back in a different country, I would have that back.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I also think it's unfair for the love of your life, for example, to to like prevent you to do not, you wouldn't allow that.

Speaker 2:

But I'm just saying I would never. But if someone did prevent me from doing that, they wouldn't be in my life. That's for me, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so you have to be not only compromising but very understanding and you know up for it. Yeah, and, as I said, I freaked out in the beginning but, you know, gone out, went under the window, because we it's all about talking. So, about communicating, we talk, I talk to him. It's not as if he's moving to Thailand, it's not as if he's moving to Malta. It's not as if he's moving to because he's been to Saudi Arabia, he's been to Hungary, I think different places. Yeah, and also the perks of it is I can go and visit him for accommodation.

Speaker 2:

So can I.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, you've come along. Yes, because I'm not going to be, like all the intelligent by myself.

Speaker 2:

Although I don't mind, I would be there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think you might be in the same hotel Absolutely and you can meet. Even sometimes I think you can get like guest passes, like visitors.

Speaker 2:

So you can see the studios.

Speaker 1:

Wow, yeah, wow, it was involved in Wicked.

Speaker 2:

Was he? Which is coming?

Speaker 1:

out and Thanksgiving apparently Is that is that.

Speaker 2:

No, that was Kat. So I have to say James.

Speaker 1:

Caw the fine gravity.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Cynthia Erivo and Ariana. Yeah, oh yeah. But listen to him. It's so funny. To him, it's just work.

Speaker 2:

Can you see this in person? Yeah, oh, wow, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, he did. He sent me pictures as well. No way, and like Cynthia, like on a broomstick, have you seen?

Speaker 2:

Wicked Actually I haven't. Yeah, I know I love it. I've watched it.

Speaker 1:

You need to see it. You need to see the music. You need to watch the film as well. It comes out Okay. I will do, but yeah, so that's what it does, and this is about along. I face a different kind of long distance relationship.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Because it's not moving anywhere. It's just going to be a broad. It's still time away, don't get me wrong. But you know it's going to be working. You know I'm going to do my own thing as well. Yeah, so, yeah, so that wouldn't bother you.

Speaker 2:

Not really. No, it keeps exciting. Yeah, I guess I guess I'm all for living your best life separately and then coming together and not just like compromising. You can obviously compromise, but just like I don't know, don't lower yourself to please someone else.

Speaker 1:

I don't God, yeah, I agree, I agree, do your best thing Like if I if I go to Thailand, go New York? Yeah, I want to visit you, new York.

Speaker 2:

I really want to get this so hard to get a job in New York.

Speaker 1:

Is it so hard? Why I've been applying.

Speaker 2:

No one's going to be.

Speaker 1:

I've had one, I don't know no feedback.

Speaker 2:

I had one feedback from a prominent underwear brand and I do menswear, so I don't know anything about underwear. Yeah, and it looks like what it went, why I have really good handwriting, like as in my styles were good, but it's not for us.

Speaker 1:

So what was it for them in that specific occasion? What did they want?

Speaker 2:

Oh, like the underwear designer that I'm going to call.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'll sign this. This is one. It was not meant to be. Yeah, it wasn't meant to be.

Speaker 2:

And also, if you move to the aftersponsor, you're costing more money to be to come over.

Speaker 1:

It's all about that. Ultimately, it's all about the money, so they're going to get whoever they spend less.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and America's huge, so I'm sort of someone there. You can do the job, yes.

Speaker 1:

Would you still visit New York before you even move?

Speaker 2:

Because I think that's what you should do, but I know, but I'm so determined, I'm just going to move there, and if I hate it.

Speaker 1:

Is it just New York, or would you move anywhere else, like Paris, for example? A lot of Americans yeah, not a lot. Again, someone I spoke to he's like his dream is to move to Paris and he lives in. He lives in Los Angeles, he lives in Los Angeles and in Miami. He's got a house in Miami and he's got a house in LA as well. And history, Mr, move to Paris because he works, he works in the industry, he works in clothes, whatever fashion, I would say learn a language.

Speaker 2:

I wouldn't move to Paris or Italy without learning a language.

Speaker 1:

I don't want it, not all of it, yeah. I feel like I had half of the bottle myself.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I wouldn't. Parisians wouldn't speak to you in English. What's that Like Parisian?

Speaker 1:

No, that's true, that's true you would have to.

Speaker 2:

I would have to learn language.

Speaker 1:

That is so true.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I don't even know if you, if you, speak the language as well.

Speaker 2:

I wouldn't go there, being ignorant.

Speaker 1:

That's fair enough. Yeah, fair enough yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's amazing if you're in the industry. It's amazing places you know fast houses are credible there, but I wouldn't go there, purely speaking.

Speaker 1:

They would make you for that, and I can't stand this rude.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, learn our language if you're going to come here.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but they're not. They're not alone in this planet. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, they also have a bad experience there.

Speaker 1:

That's what I mean, especially if you don't want to make business without it. Listen, I live in France. When I studied French for six months, I didn't live in Paris.

Speaker 2:

I think you study France.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I think that is a bit rusty. It's a moment, but you know lovely people, whatever, but I think if you want to and I did do that they do that. They have like great relationships with other countries. But yeah, at least speak any language. It doesn't have to be English, any other language but yeah, okay, great. So anyone else are you would move in a world apart from New York. I know you determined, I know you like your focus.

Speaker 2:

I've not been to Tokyo. I would love to go to Tokyo.

Speaker 1:

You told me tell me about this. We've spoken like five minutes prior to this podcast, but tell us about Milan, because he went to Milan with work. Can you talk about that?

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I went to Milan with work, went there for last season, and I had a bad experience. As soon as I landed off the plane, basically I walked out my hotel and I got stopped by police for about 20 minutes and they wouldn't let me use my phone to contact anybody and because there's someone else, burgled a car, the force was mixed with a white cardigan and it was quite scary. After my documentation, my passport, and I know I've only been to Italy twice, so I had no idea that I don't know their laws or what's normal. I didn't know that you can't speak to people on the phone. Might not be true, I don't know if it's not true.

Speaker 1:

I don't think I mean European Union as well. You're allowed to speak on your phone, even when a police. I've seen videos where police have stopped whoever's filming on a rose and they're still filming the police people. I would, I can't, you can use your phone for whatever you like.

Speaker 2:

I would not mess with Italian police.

Speaker 1:

That's what I mean. But you can, yeah, I think.

Speaker 2:

It was getting very it was getting, it was getting messy, it was scary. And I kept trying to ring my Italian friends who lives in England to be like what's normal, what do I do? But they wouldn't let me.

Speaker 1:

And even your, your bosses, because you went with work, your bosses were asking you where are you? What's going on?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I went to walk down the road.

Speaker 1:

You couldn't even reply, even seeing the messages no.

Speaker 2:

I was just clicking the message like so green ticks, blue ticks. And then yeah, exactly that's. And they're trying to ring me and I can't pick it up.

Speaker 1:

Can you imagine them being worried as well? I was thinking she's reading the message or someone's reading the messages and they're not even replying. What's going on? She's alone in Italy.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, she just travelled by herself to this country, and then now I almost don't, I'm not replying, but anyway, I'm okay now.

Speaker 1:

It's scary. Would you go back in a rush?

Speaker 2:

I would, because nothing can stop me.

Speaker 1:

Because Milan is Milan, isn't it? Milan's Milan and did you have a good time, though, apart from the police. No, I was only very few nights which can can, like you know, mess up the whole holiday or the whole time I walked away.

Speaker 2:

It was scary and I because it's for work I had to just crack on with it and I had to take a day off when I got back to England just to decompress and get back, because it made me feel quite depressed. Oh yeah, I just had to have a day to see nobody because I was just like, oh my god what was that? Yeah, yeah it was just a lot of emotion and I had to bustle it a bit because you know I sent this, it was for work.

Speaker 1:

Oh, but you find now so and you're going to New York anyway.

Speaker 2:

No, I'm trying to get to New York, whatever police. Even more scary.

Speaker 1:

Who cares, who cares? But we need to go on holiday together.

Speaker 2:

Yes, I mean your birthday.

Speaker 1:

That's what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Your major birthday, but I can't afford anything.

Speaker 1:

It's alright. It's alright.

Speaker 2:

But we're going to go to White and Hoot for anyway.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I guess we are, but this time is going to be less like messy.

Speaker 2:

Less messy, less people staying in my place. It's not your fault, but I don't know. But that was a bit of a stress drama. I was in a bad time at that place.

Speaker 1:

Guess you were. Yeah, there's a lot of like it wasn't a normal reaction because I was so depressed I was so, it was so.

Speaker 2:

OTT because I was so damn bad.

Speaker 1:

You were seeing what's his face from the military. Yeah, and he just you broken up the first time. Yeah, yeah, I remember this. Yeah, anyway, yeah, my hoopla, yeah, so, okay. So final words now. This is so funny because we're going to to your friend's birthday after this podcast yeah, I've got a fashion show to attend Of course I'm. So job, where's my ticket? I was trying to get.

Speaker 2:

My brain was like to get it sold out. Well, I was an invitation.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah invitation, and that's what it takes. That's it. That's one of the perks of your business.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I'm going to see each other for my one of my friend, hannah's birthday. So you're going to the pub and then we'll see what happens, how it happens, but hopefully not too messy, because we've all been quite tame this year so far.

Speaker 1:

I was going to say, because we're not like, I'm not bought, I'm really not bothered like going out clubbing. I couldn't care less. Last time I went club, when was the last time I went clubbing? I went to club. I went to two brewers in Clapham.

Speaker 2:

Did you for the first time ever, did you? How was that?

Speaker 1:

We, it was good. It was good. It was good. Actually, I had a good time. But then again, I've been clubbing for 20 years. You know it's just another place to dance.

Speaker 2:

You know I'm only going to events, but I really want to. Yeah, exactly I'm a bit over it.

Speaker 1:

By invitation only. Right, I saw your friend, I'll say your friend, j you can say your friend J. So he had a birthday bash and he had Paddy O'Brien, the porn actor.

Speaker 2:

I saw your Instagram.

Speaker 1:

I was like hey God, why did that happen?

Speaker 2:

I didn't get to meet Paddy because he was there Friday and they come the Saturday day later because I was just exhausted.

Speaker 1:

So his birthday lasted more than one day. Yeah, yeah, the whole weekend. This is elite. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's birthday, it's his money, this is money talking. Yeah, it's such a good birthday, good for him, and now I haven't met him yet. You need to meet him, because I spoke about him.

Speaker 1:

We both know about each other, I know.

Speaker 2:

I've not seen him since his birthday, Like he's so busy. Yeah, I don't really see him that often, but what I do is love.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and, of course, and he went to his networking event as well.

Speaker 2:

Yes, but I am actually, which is good. You know, I don't celebrate my birthdays too much. I'm going to celebrate this year.

Speaker 1:

Why is your birthday again?

Speaker 2:

It's April 28th.

Speaker 1:

April but.

Speaker 2:

Saturday.

Speaker 1:

July, 15th of July, we went to see Frozen on my birthday and we went to feel it.

Speaker 2:

That was a perfect birthday. That was a very good birthday. It was a good birthday. That was a top day.

Speaker 1:

That was a very good summer actually we were already closed, but we got even closer.

Speaker 2:

I know it wasn't very good summer. I just wanted to take photos with my hats and everything. But yeah, I'm going to celebrate 27th of April so everyone can eat, everybody. Finally.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because everyone's just everywhere.

Speaker 1:

Listen, okay. So on that beautiful note, because I know you have to go, yeah, and then, yeah, I love the time catching up with you and I'm looking forward to going whatever tonight with you and please come back.

Speaker 2:

I will.

Speaker 1:

And actually I want to ask you like this is wine and dine, so we have to talk about food, apparently. So you told me this last time, but tell me what your favourite dish in the moment is.

Speaker 2:

And actually because I was just in Italy, I've really got this oh, a pizza. I'm really excited, I'm really excited. Don't cancel me, I really into arancini, I was obsessed, I love arancini.

Speaker 1:

But explain what that is.

Speaker 2:

It's like fried pasta with a bit of tomato.

Speaker 1:

So fried risotto, bit of tomato and bread crumb.

Speaker 2:

And it was just amazing. You cut it in half and it oozes out.

Speaker 1:

It's so because you're in Italy, so it's rhetorical, but the food taste is always different from the Italian food in the UK.

Speaker 2:

I don't know what they do over there, but their tomatoes are incredible. They just have a bit of cheese, bit of tomato, bit of basil.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that because I'm kind of being sold on that, because I think tomato is really overrated. No, this is the thing. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

People go Italian food is incredible. I was like yeah, it's alright, I mean, I went over there.

Speaker 1:

That's what I say.

Speaker 2:

No, honestly, I went over there and it tastes so much better than anything. It's simple stuff, but it just tastes amazing. I don't know what it is. Honestly, I didn't really get it before. I was like alright, what's your?

Speaker 1:

favourite drink. You're not going to say apple spritz, are you? That's Italian, oh I forgot mine.

Speaker 2:

What like alcohol drink?

Speaker 1:

Any you know what I've really?

Speaker 2:

been into apple to my ears, oh okay, alright, I don't know why, it's just a flavour.

Speaker 1:

It's fresh, it's like summery. I get it. I would think about the same. I have a thing about the fizzy drinks, though they make me feel bloated. They're nice, they make me feel a little bit bloated, yeah same, but it's nice In motivation. There you go, okay, guys. On that note, thanks for listening. And, isabelle, I adore you, as you know. I love you, I love you, I love you, and we'll catch up soon.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, Come back to the pod anytime. Yes, two hours time I'll see you. Love it, love it.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, bye for now, bye, bye.

Relationships, Dating, and Privilege Discussion
Navigating Post-Breakup Relationships
Navigating Love, Friendship, and Sexuality
Long Distance Relationship and Career Goals
Italian Police Encounter and Food Obsession
Favorite Drinks and Friendship