EPISODE 2: VOICES

In this second episode of Liana Shanti Deep Throat: and by that I mean Throat Chakra, you will be hearing the voices of many women from all over the world, in differing socio-economic groups, racially diverse, differing religious backgrounds, and careers, who are sharing their journeys, in their own voices. Journeys of healing mind, body and spirit. You will hear stories of healing everything from rage and anger, drug and alcohol addiction, despair, suicidal thoughts,  burnout, self-hatred and so much more.  This episode is one of many that will follow throughout the year, as a "voices" series on this podcast, interspersed with so many other topics and and the conversations everyone else is afraid to have. 

Transcript

episode-2-voices

Wed, Oct 12, 2022 2:54AM • 1:00:42

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Liana Shanti, life, feel, people, Jesus, liana, knew, day, teachings, heal, shanti, mother, years, healing, children, abuse, completely, changed, grateful, drugs

00:00

She's a motivator, millionaire mentor, Jesus lover, serial entrepreneur, mother and former Wall Street attorney who comes with her own personal trigger warning on a mission to teach you how to empower yourself and heal your life from the inside out. And now, welcome to Deep Throat. And by that I mean throat chakra with Liana Shanti.

00:31

Aloha everyone, this is your host, your girl liana. And by girl I mean 51 year old suburban mother of two. I'm excited for this new platform, this new way to reach so many more people with my message of healing and unconditional love, empowerment and sovereignty, Deep Throat. And by that I mean throat chakra is a platform to showcase what healing your life really looks like, where I will be inviting some of the most amazing empowered women and the men who support them to share their journeys, triumphs, struggles and everything in between. In today's second podcast, podcast number two voices, we are going to hear from a number of women in their own voices who have decided that loving themselves is something that is possible. And that the self love is what led them to radical life results and changes in everything from mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. And each woman will be speaking for herself in her journey. 

And we will be hearing from Chelsea and Mandy, Melissa, Ameraja,  Marie, Asha, Alyssa, Mahina. And Chris. This series called Voices is something that I plan on doing periodically throughout the year on this podcast where every few episodes or so after we have topics and guests and conversations and some podcasts with me sharing teachings and information. I will have these voices podcast because I feel they are needed. They're incredibly powerful when you hear individuals speak about their journey of hope and faith and self love, and how their relationship with themselves with God with their own children have radically changed for the better. And they're so hopeful, they're so impactful. And I feel that these voices will reach out to women all over the world and men to for what is possible in a world where so many people believe that there's no hope so many people believe that they're at the end of any kind of possibility for a happy life. And you will be hearing from so many of these women who have shared that with us today, and how they weren't the end of their journey. And they come from many backgrounds of being psychotherapists, and parents and teachers and many other backgrounds, all kind of coming to the conclusion that they were not in a great place and not feeling optimistic about life in general or in any area. And they're sharing with you their journey of hope and how anything is possible how healing is possible. And regardless of how low you have been, even at other rock bottom feeling that life is not even worth living anymore as several of these women will share with you today. That hope and light is possible and the journey towards peace and happiness and full sovereignty, freedom and joy is absolutely reachable for each and every one of you. So I hope that this voices series reaches all of you in the way that you most need it.

04:08

Hi, my name is Chelsea and I am a student of Liana Shanti. Before finding Leanna shanties work, I had all of my eyes dotted and my T's crossed. I had a cute apartment. I had a loving relationship, and a decent a decent job. I'd worked hard for my job to lose a job as a elementary school teacher for Denver Public Schools. Despite having all the things in my life that I really wanted for myself as a young, young adult, I was depressed. I was anxious, suicidal, I had rage. To survive those feelings. I smoked weed every day all day. I drank regularly, definitely heavily at times. I lived for breaks from my regularly scheduled Life. You know, it's okay I can get through the rest of this week. Because in a month I'm going on a fantastic trip in Florida I reached a point where I decided that life was not designed to be survived, that this was not going to be my life just numbing out just getting by however I could. So I started searching for peace. I tried to talk therapy, couples therapy, EMDR, Reiki, medicinal mushrooms, and none of it helps me to find peace to find meaning and joy in my life. Finally, I found Leanna on Instagram, the end of 2020. She would share posts that sounded so matter of fact, and harsh, I would have to reflect that for a while. And always yes, I would realize this is the truth, I have, like really found something true here. So I bought Leah's mother wound course that was the first course I did from her. And at the end of that course, my rage was gone. Like I had mentioned, my rage had gotten to a point where I had destroyed belongings, I can name an entire bedroom worth of furniture, more than one flat screen TV, and, and my own body that I had damaged. When my rage was out of control, and by the end of the mother wound, it was gone. That was incredible. That was life changing right there. If I had stopped and never done another one of Louisiana's programs, that would have forever changed my life alone. But, of course, you find something good, you're gonna keep going at it. So I have also done, some of father wound, and all of life path manifesting and Candida cleanse, Candida cleanse and life path. I started this last January and it's now August. Having done the work in those programs, I am now sober. I do not I'm never going to drink or smoke weed again. I have found Jesus, my husband has found Jesus, I have found my heart, I am finding my voice. And I will continue to do the work so that my life every day will be one of joy, peace and love. So that one day when I do become a mom, I can raise my own children with my mother who loves them unconditionally. Because I will have learned to embody that for myself and my own inner children. So that is what Leanna is programs have done for me. Liana, I cannot thank you enough. Thank you so much for the work you have done is enabled me to completely change my life over and over. So thank you hi, my

08:16

name is Mandy, there is so much that I want to say about Liana Shanti's teachings and how they've changed my life. It's really hard to narrow it down, to go between just wanting to share everything, to trying to explain the fact that I actually feel peace in my body for the first time in my entire life. So as I was sitting trying to think about what I'm going to say or how to even put words to the changes that have happened in my life, my kids gave me a beautiful experience today that I thought would be perfect to share. I'll start with though I've been a student of leanness for about a year and a half. And before I found her, I went through my own pretty intense dark night of the soul without any support. And in that one I walked away from a lifetime of religion. I had been raised in the church, I went to Christian School I taught in women's ministry. So leaving the church was a pretty huge process, pretty devastating process for me. And then in that same timeframe, I began remembering and piecing together memories of childhood sexual abuse from my dad. There were a lot of memories that I had had pieces of or situations that didn't make sense that once I accepted the reality of what happened, everything started to come together and even though understand understanding, it brought me so much peace and helped me let go of a lot of self hatred. It was still a hurricane of pain and trauma to process on my own without a lot of support. And especially because I had let go of the belief system that I built my entire life around for support. And so I quickly got sucked into a lot of the New Age teachings while trying to deal with my world coming undone. But thankfully, as always, Jesus was by my side and guiding me. And as I was trying to believe all the love and light be us and everything about agreeing to be abused by the soul family before you incarnate into Earth. And all of that being part of this plan for our good to suffer as a child that we agreed to. My husband, who was a detective at the time got moved to sex crimes. And so as I'm trying to believe a lot of this airy fairy, just really out there stuff to deal with the pain of my abuse, and what I was remembering. It just became impossible to reconcile that with the horrors he was seeing at work. And so I just kept praying and kept asking Jesus, please show me the truth. Please show me what I'm missing. Show me where I'm believing lies, or what I'm just not getting right here. Because this doesn't feel right in my body. And pretty soon after that, I found the, in his teachings, thank God. Because that changed everything. I started with her narcissism program. And for the first time in my life, I started to understand why I had so much anxiety, why I felt so overwhelmed with my life and with being a mother, why I wanted to be happy and have peace, but my life was filled with chaos. And in that process, I started to actually heal instead of just wanting to heal, which is such a huge distinction for me, because,

11:55

you know, in Christianity, I still wanted to heal, I still wanted to be a better mom, and in the new age practices I wanted to heal. But I really feel like I was just on a merry go round with those and no healing actually took place, just more being entertained by teachings. So today, the example I want to tell y'all is one of my younger sons, I have four boys asked me to go check the mail. And I told him, No, this is not a good time to do it right now. And he looked at me and went straight outside. So I followed him and told him, please come back inside, this is not a good time. And he said, No, it is really hot outside. So at this point, I'm sweating. And I had just made myself food and I was really hungry and ready to sit down and eat. And then I'm feeling all these old triggers coming up from the authoritarian parenting that I grew up with, and that I used on my older two children. And so I didn't have a lot in me in the moment to want to sit there and work with an angry six year old in the heat. So in that moment, I knew I could yell, I could pick him up and bring him inside, while he's fighting me, or I could use my tools to calm myself down. And so then my youngest comes out while I'm trying to decide how I'm gonna handle this. And they together, start dancing around a tree and singing don't listen to mom, which right now is really funny. But in that moment, it was really triggering me. 

And so I thought about how in my old life as a Christian, this would have meant spanking, and then being in so much trouble for not respecting my authority. When I had my oldest someone actually gave me a book called The strong willed child. And it teaches you how to spank without leaving a mark. And that kind of abuse is just normalized and called good and godly, even. And so that was my entire background. And then in the New Age mentality, I probably would have bribed them to come inside with food or TV, and then found a way to bypass all my anger, usually with food also. But huge, but here, thanks to liana. And her teachings, I was able to move through this situation without bypassing my emotions. And also without passing them on to my children. I was able to sit on the ground and talk to Jesus and feel everything that was coming up. All the anger, all the bitterness, all the overwhelm, I was able to call my breathing to ground my energy. I use my tools for mother wound to feel into any bitterness and overwhelm and being a mother that I was holding from my mother and my grandmother and release that I could tell my body that it was safe to let go of these emotions. And then my boys don't owe me good behavior or easy behavior that I'm here to be the common their storm not the other way around. And this whole process was less than 10 minutes I went from Feeling rage, and overwhelm to so much peace and gratitude. And it all of that without hurting my children physically or emotionally. So for me, that's everything. The fact that I can go through intense situations, and love and support myself, but also nurture my children instead of trying to control them. I just there aren't even words for how huge that is, to me how life changing that is, to me, I still have so much to heal. But even at this point, right now, to be able to say, I have tools, I have the ability, and I have the strength to be present for myself, and not hurt my children is everything. It is life changing. And so for anyone listening, these teachings aren't just entertaining, they will change your life, they will allow you to start moving through life with grace and ease. And that's something that I didn't even think was possible until these last couple of months. So I am eternally grateful to have found Liana, and to have a second chance. I feel like at life even, but a chance to heal a chance to be the mother that my children deserve. And a chance to have joy and beauty and ease in my own life. So thank you

16:37

hi, everyone. This is Melissa. I am super excited to connect with you in this way. I think it's an amazing idea. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about my story. So in 2017, I had hit a real low point in my life. It felt at the time it was a breakdown. But I really kind of now understand it is a breakthrough. To give some context to this. My background is in bio psychosocial science. I trained in social work, I worked in advocacy and support and I became a qualified psychotherapist with a specialism in sex and relationships, and sexual trauma and all of those kinds of things. So yeah, in 2017, I was in this very, very intensive job, it was kind of like a drop in center for women. And I was in this place, and I was supporting these women who were involved in really heavy stuff. So Street based prostitution, trafficking, modern slavery, FGM, ritualistic abuse, all of this kind of stuff. I had a super heavy caseload. And it was really stressful. And every single day, I kind of like went into work and not really knowing if one of my clients would have been gang raped or made homeless or in hospital or dead, to be quite honest with you. 

And at the end of every day, I went home, not knowing if I would ever see them again, and over time, that builds and it really affects you. And I think if in while in healthcare, if you work in healthcare, and you're honest, you would say that there isn't any health and health care amongst people who work in those roles. There's a lot of drugs, people work really hard, and they play a lot harder. And I was no exception to that rule. I smoked a lot of weed. I did a lot of MDMA. I did a lot of research chemicals. And, you know, the truth is, is that I was just as wounded as a lot of those people who I was advocating for. Yeah, it needless to say, the kind of trauma I was exposed to on a daily basis. It was endless. It was constant. It really built up until I was completely buried in it completely lost within and it was like one day, everything in me just got switched off. I couldn't feel anything. I can empathize. I couldn't cry. I didn't want to talk about anything anymore. Most of all, I guess the thing that was really scary about this was I couldn't really remember how I got there. Like I couldn't really remember why taking this path. What had led me to this, it just wasn't clear anymore. All of my own memories of my own trauma. Were getting really confused and mixed up and lost really, and blocked. I guess. I had put on a massive amount of weight. And yeah, I was just kind of really, really struggling. So I had this kind of breakdown, I guess, not long before I got married. And I was stood on a train platform. 

And I was like, You know what the only way I'm going to feel something again, because I was so numb, the only way I'm going to feel something is if I jumped in front of a tube, and I didn't do it. I'm pretty glad that I didn't. But that's kind of like where my head was at. And I was still going into work, because that's what you did, you just had to go to work like you have to live, right? So I kind of just carried on doing that. And it happened that I was in a situation where for three days in a row, I had to spend a whole day with these three different people. And on each one of those days, I was hearing their stories a little bit. And in relation to their own experience, each one of them had said to me that God wouldn't give them anything that they couldn't handle. And I really, really felt that that wasn't a coincidence that I was in these situations with these people and heard that three times. And I felt that that was a message for me. And that really was the turning point. For me. I guess that was when I felt like my connection had been reestablished, my connection to faith had been reestablished. And I kind of knew that I had to make some changes. So I kind of quit my job. And I took quite a lot of time off.

21:39

And kind of slowly built myself back up from there. And then fast forwarding. I found Liana into 2019. And at that point, I was kind of still smoking a lot of weed. I kind of believed at the time that was helping me more than anything, I guess. And I kind of felt like it opened me up to thinking about spirituality more and yeah, but I'd also become a massive truther and kind of like conspiracy theorist along the way. I don't really know how that happened. But it did. And I don't really know how I found you. And I always just think that Jesus kind of dropped me off and said, like, you know, here's another one for you. So that's kind of how I ended up there. And like a lot of people, you know, I was super triggered at first because I think one of the very early things I saw her say was about something about therapy, and being a theory therapist, and that being my livelihood. I was like, Oh, shit, but I knew it was true. 

And I kind of hung around because, you know, I like a challenge. I like to be triggered. So, yeah, I kind of stuck around. And I was I was here for that. And I'm really glad I did because I've gone through several of the honors courses, and yeah, my life is completely completely different. So I quit all drugs and alcohol. I stopped using my sexuality as currency. That was a really big theme throughout my whole life. I started to live without the labels that allowed me to stay in victim herd. I invested a lot of time and money into my own growth that are completely independent of Ghana's teachings. You know, things like fitness and creativity, I made massive leaps in healing my own body. From years of toxicity, I lost over 80 pounds. I've forgave myself for the things that I thought I'd carry forever. I did a lot of really dark shit. And I released a lot of shame and a lot of guilt that maybe I shouldn't have ever really carried in first place. Things tied into my race and my sexuality in particular. I created a new business. And it wasn't a struggle. 

You know, I learned how to turn up authentically because that was modeled to me by Liana. And a lot of these amazing women in this community and I you know, sold things within three hours of it going up. I have learned how to allow myself to be loved so much more. As well as give love so much more, have a lot more integrity. I able to understand and forgive a lot of my family's choices that harmed me, but without having to make excuses for them, which I think is kind of an important place to be. I've removed every toxic friend who is afraid of my growth. My relationship is significantly more conscious lightfield and just genuinely wonderful. I left the pyramid scheme of psychotherapy took me a really long time to build that it was a very pricey investment. I spent a long time learning exactly who I don't want to be. So I guess in some ways, it was still kind of worth it. I managed to completely heal from burnout. Leon has courses was kind of like the final piece of the puzzle for me, I, you know, I did the therapy, I did all of the other stuff that did all the self care. But I needed to go deep, I needed to uncover all of the reasons that led me into doing this kind of intensive trauma based work in the first place. And a lot of that comes down to Mother wound for me, and I'm still uncovering things as I go. But yeah, that was super helpful. I don't participate in any of the toxic elements of the communities I was involved with. There's a lot of toxicity in the LGBT community, a lot of drugs, a lot of promiscuity, a lot of woundedness. And, yeah, that used to feel kind of like a very safe space for me. And it's not anymore, and I can completely see that for what it is. So a lot of that is left behind for me. And, yeah, I achieved so many other things that I never would have really believed are possible if it wasn't for being a part of this awesome community and finding the answer. So I'm eternally grateful. I could honestly I could go on for like hours. But I don't want to take up too much time. So I'm gonna leave it here. But thank you so much for the opportunity of sharing. Hey,

26:42

my name is Aaralyn Shiri. And I've been a student of Lana shanties for over nine years now, I just wanted to share a story about how I found Leanna and her work both the nutrition and spiritual side of things, share about little bit about who I was and who I am now. So this is my story about how I stopped searching. For as long as I can remember, I've been searching, searching for ways to get rich for love for the fad diet that would finally help me lose 100 pounds, and for ways to fix myself so I could finally be happy. My mom put me on a calorie restricted diet at the age of 12. Per the recommendation of a nutritionist. I started trying to make money in fifth grade by sewing beanbag animals and selling them to my friends. In junior high I overheard a teacher comment that a girl my age already had a well performing stock portfolio. So I decided I wanted to learn about stocks and investing. I tried every diet under the sun. I read self help and self improvement books like they were going out of style. I got into real estate thinking that was how I was going to make it rich. I tried selling on eBay, Amazon day trading MLM businesses, internet marketing, whatever it was that promise to make me rich.

 I bought so many courses, hoping there would be new information that would catapult me to the next level. In high school, I started playing video games because that's what one of the guys I liked did. I was a chameleon. I changing who I was pretending I liked what they liked, hoping they would like me to. Although I never really knew who I was. Anyway, I didn't know what a healthy romantic relationship look like. And I had such low self worth that I put up with incredibly poor treatment. I thought that this was the only man that would ever love me so I had to hang on. I didn't want to lose that love because I believed I would never have it again. I was on several medications for depression throughout my life. I tried to find love in Food TV, violent pornography, romance novels, faceless men on the internet, just constantly searching for something.

 Nine years ago, my coworker and friend sent me a link for Leanna shanties, he'll Candida now program. Of course, I immediately bought it along with several of her other nutrition programs. I wasn't able to stick with them until several years later, but what changed was that I never again looked for another diet. I knew on some level that everything I needed was there, I felt the truth in it. From there, I took her health coaching course and then moved on to her spiritual programs. As she started stepping into her role of a spiritual teacher, slash Shaman. I resonated with Leanna her writing her teachings, her program and her truth. So I just kept going. And I stopped searching. I don't search for new ways to make money. In fact, they barely pay attention to how much money my business brings in every month, or my monthly expenditures for that matter. I was finally able to commit to myself losing over 140 pounds to date, and I don't dye it anymore. I Don't read self help books. I don't search for the latest spiritual meditation healing techniques that promises to make me happy, successful, reduce stress and anxiety. I don't search for love outside of myself. And if I find that I'm doing that, I quickly turn back within, which is where the love I needed his lift all along. All Leanna does is love me unconditionally. She isn't fixing me. I was never broken. She isn't saving me. I am saving myself. She doesn't tell me what to do or asked me to believe her blindly. She says try it. Prove me wrong, prove it doesn't work.

30:42

She shines a light on all my false beliefs, all of the ego traps I believe my whole life, all of the mud that people piled on top of me preventing me from seeing my light. She constantly points me back into myself, which is where all the answers lie. She's teaching me to trust myself my own wisdom, which is something my mom completely obliterated. Liana reminds me of my own perfection, allowing me to shed layer after layer of anything that makes me believe otherwise. So why did I stop searching? Because what I found worked. It's plain and simple. Miraculously, I listened to a call that came from deep within my soul that I wasn't even aware of at the time. I knew I found exactly what I needed. And I listened and trusted myself enough to keep going. Anyone who knew me seven plus years ago knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not the same person on any level. Now I refer to Liana, as my shaman, my guru, my teacher, my spiritual guide, the awesomest person on the planet, which I know sounds weird to many people because we're not used to being devoted to a spiritual teacher in the United States. So when I mentioned Lana Shanti in every blog post, when I talk about her with my friends, I do so because there's no amount of gratitude that will ever be enough for the work and clearing that she's done for her courage to step into her purpose for being on the planet at this time, guiding those who hear the cry of their soul to their true purpose. Thank you will never be enough for the level of freedom, joy and happiness. That is my current reality. I found my way home it's true.

32:38

I flipped the fucking table and turned my life upside down after finding Leanna not because Leanna told me to, but because her teachings taught me what it meant to be true to myself, to love myself for the first time. Growing up in an environment where violence, narcissistic mental, emotional and sexual abuse were the norm completely fucked me up. I literally spent almost 40 years of my life and si PTSD mode. All the while thinking something was wrong with me, allowing the people around me to gaslight the fuck out of me. All of it was jacked. And I thought it was my fault. I didn't know that I'd perpetuated the abuse I grew up in and was creating the same situations over and over. Because I was stuck in those same energetic patterns that had been imprinted upon me. I didn't know that suppress trauma was at the root of my feeling health, that continuing to numb out day in and day out, was only further disconnecting me from myself and God. But that's why I'm so grateful for my body falling apart. It was the gateway to all massive changes in my life. It led me to Leanna her teachings programs and ultimately back to Jesus. When you began to see clearly that what you've created has rotten roots. Well, you tear them the fuck out. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved it. If my parents had said that they also wanted to heal, that they too were ready to be accountable. But that isn't my reality. That's why I know because of Lana's teachings that there's nothing more important than being my own unconditionally loving parent. It's my job to protect me now. And the children that so desperately needed it for so long. I will never go back to the codependent codependent people pleasing version, they want me to be an intern, I will never go back. living that way, suppressing my truth shutting down my voice. Well, that isn't the life for me. I came here to break down all the motherfucking illusions, and live in truth. I won't settle for less and I won't teach my children to do that either. That's why I thank God every single day that I found Leanna her unconditional love her light, her support her friendship, have helped me to know who I really am. She's helped me to see the truth and step into my sovereignty in a way that I have. I haven't been able to achieve in lifetimes. So thank you God. Thank you Anna, thank you for teaching me how to change my life. None of that is my reality anymore. None of it. I'm free. Thank you

35:19

Marie Alece. Liana Shanti is love. I never knew life was meant to be filled with so much gratitude, emotion, abundance, happiness, love, health, freedom, until I found the inner. I remember so clearly the feelings I had before I came to her work. I knew I wasn't truly happy. I was working at Dunkin Donuts and had two kids. I thought this was it. I had zero plans of where I wanted to go. What I wanted to do in this world besides be a wife, a mom a barista. And honestly, I wasn't even a good mom either. I was okay with being a tired, angry, reactive mom. Because I did not even know there was more to life than when I was already living. No one around me was actually happy. No one around me was actually living their dreams. No one around me was actually healthy. And no one around me knew how to love unconditionally. Everyone around me, including me was just there. Alive, but light years away from thriving. Before the piano, I couldn't cry unless I was trying to manipulate someone. My real emotions were so blocked off so held down with anger. I honestly had no idea there was more to life than the same shit different day that I had been looped into. I was far from the mommy knew my children deserve. I was chronically stressed out suffering with IBS, chronic fatigue and painful periods. I didn't know I was capable of being wealthy and healthy, and happy. I didn't know I was able to feel full of energy and excited for life every day.

 I had very little belief in myself. I had very little belief in God and Jesus. I detested Jesus and God because of what the church taught of them felt so wrong that I shut it all out. I had no idea I wasn't free. Because just like everyone around me, I was so shackled in a 3d in the family quote, in the stories in the lack of self love. Until I found Liana. I first found her in 2013 through her nutrition page. I knew and felt she was the real deal. 100% and I never stopped following her. The first spiritual posts I read of hers, when she branched off from just her nutrition page was about Jesus. Every ounce of my being knew this was the truth. This was the Jesus I knew as a little girl, that the church tried to warp and twist into something fake to keep people stuck believing they will be saved, and that they don't have to do any work. Billy Anna's post this was love. Liana is love. Liana only teaches people how to find themselves how to find their connection to Jesus and God. 

Liana Shanti was also the first person I ever knew, who was fully empowered, confident, wealthy, compassionate, generous, intelligent, fiercely protective, and unconditionally loving all the time. After finding the ANA, I'm now a certified holistic health coach through the Ana's Health School Health Mastery Institute, being able to serve people amazing, clear plans so they can heal their bodies through nutrition is incredible. Coming from a job where I was singing people toxic pesticide laden coffee, and donuts. I have so many tastes of what true freedom is. I have an ever increasing connection to Jesus and so self love. I know happiness. I know joy. I know how to feel my emotions again. I know how to effectively release anger. I know how to say no to what is no longer in alignment for me. I am free of toxic people. I've never felt better in my body. I am free of chronic fatigue, IBS, painful periods and chronic stress. I've never felt clear and my purpose here on Earth. In most importantly I truly love and cherish being present with my children. Nothing beats that. The fact that they KNOW JESUS, THE REAL JESUS as kids brings me to tears that we get to have conversations about healing mind, body and spirit. conversations about Jesus and God in the truth. Every single day is so freakin beautiful to me. I'm just beyond grateful to be a student of Lee ANNA Milu my life is truly a night and day difference and honestly, this is all just a fraction of how my life has changed since I found the Ashanti. I feel like this is a bit

40:19

of a coming out post. I feel very vulnerable, apprehensive, but I also feel it's extremely important to be authentic. No guilt, no shame. shining light on the shadow so nothing can hide in the darkness.

 Deep breath, Asha, here we go. I was a narcissist, control lies and manipulation was my game. It was a real game to me. And I was damn good at it too. I had so many lies and stories going at once with family, friends and work. It was exhausting to manage. So I didn't get caught in the life that I had spun. Why would I lie? Well, that was my coping mechanism for growing up in an abusive home. Physical abuse, drugs alcohol, fear, shame, sexual abuse, emotional abuse. Continually walking on eggshells. Always. Both of my parents are narcs too. They raised me to be like I was while violently punishing me for being like that. I changed who I was to fit into the mold to stay safe. I was the good girl or golden child compared to my brother, the troublemaker. terrified of getting in trouble because the punishment was severe. 

With a smack in the face couple of acts across the yes with the belt, held down and forced to drink liquid dish soap were being locked in my room. I suffered from knightly stomach aches since I was a small child, which continued into adulthood. I had migraines for years. As a child I would speak in public about very inappropriate sexual things because of my exposure to sexual abuse. And when that happened, I was popped in the mouth, smacked in the mouth, or physically punished in both public or when we got home. And because I had little control over my own bodily autonomy, I often took out that frustration and anger on my family pets. I got married, had a child, and a lot of the same cycles continued. I did what I was taught to do until I learned better. I found my teacher Leanna Shanti in 2013 through her organic vegan page. When my daughter chose to go vegetarian at 10 years old. I wanted to support her the best I could. I soon followed in my daughter's footsteps. That's when I really started learning, healing and changing. My decision to go vegan was the first wedge in my marriage. And over the following three years, things just got worse. I started controlling and arguing less. He started controlling and arguing more. 2016 was also the year I started remembering a lot of the major abuse I suffered. But my parents were in complete denial. My life completely changed in what seemed like 24 hours Leanna empowered me with making my own decisions. She never advised me to do or not to do something. She always advised me to make decisions myself, which I based on what I felt was right for me and my daughter at the time. So I chose to cut contact with my entire family. I started the proceedings to divorce my husband, moved out at the family house and started living my life for myself and for my daughter use for my ex got a lot worse. 

With extreme emotional and financial abuse added to the list, staying with him would have just perpetuated the abuse cycles as well as the abuse me and my daughter were receiving. None of the decisions I made were easy. They were actually very terrifying. But that's what happens when you're so enmeshed with your parents and husband. I couldn't tell where I started and where they ended. I completely lost the essence of who I was, and who I am. My own life, my fire within my wants, my needs, my heart's desires. I was a shell of myself. I felt dead on the inside. And the need to control was my motivation every minute of every day. Healing as a narc seemed almost impossible at times. Especially when Leanna often says narcs never heal. They're too caught up in a lies false webs and projecting their shit onto others. They extremely rarely look within. Those are my words of course. I feel even more grateful knowing that I was in the dark and that I have done a lot of healing. And I obviously have a lot more to go. But if it wasn't for Liana Shanti, my accidental landing on her organic vegan page all those years ago, I cringe as I reflect on how life could have been.

45:21

It would have been a life without Jesus. A life with extreme self hate, judgmental as hell. anger and rage, spilling out all over ever been at a drop of a dime, using people for my own benefit, lying about everything, having zero compassion and empathy for others, controlling everyone and everything around me feeling like a victim in life and blaming everyone else for my own problems and extreme entitlement. All things that I have either completely or currently healing. My life is completely different. I no longer suffer from nightly stomach aches, no more migraines, no more control, no more anger, outbursts, no more manipulation. My life is peaceful. I am happy. And I am learning to believe in myself. trust in myself, and trust Jesus. Liana Shanti is my teacher, my mentor, and she leads by example. She never tells us what to do, always leads us back to ourselves. As frustrating as that is sometimes. We all deserve unconditional love. And I think Leanna from the bottom of my heart for showing us and showing me what that really is. I'm extremely grateful to learn how to have strong boundaries and how to enforce them when I feel they are being violated. Leanna Shanti changed my life with just her presence. Just be just by her living her own life. It made me want to have a better life for myself and for my daughter. And for that I'm extremely grateful

47:09

it took me a while to fully embrace Lana's teachings, seven years to be exact. I found her nutrition page back in 2013 and participated in that community for years even though I wasn't able to actually do a full cleanse. I was then extremely triggered when she started talking about Jesus since I grew up in the cult of Catholicism and then later became atheist after leaving, so I unfollowed Ileana for a few years. I continued on a downward spiral from there. I was suffering greatly from extreme stress, emotional, physical and financial, anxiety, depression, fear. I was bitter, exhausted, overweight and miserable. I had constant negative fearful thoughts and worst case scenarios are running through my mind all the time. Sometimes these thoughts were absolutely debilitating and paralyzing. My constant stress manifested physically as heartburn, a tightening in my throat to the point where I had trouble swallowing joint and bone pain and heart palpitations.

 I was always frustrated and yelling at my kids. I drank alcohol to de stress. I cared way too much about what other people thought of me. I also thought that things just happened to you and you can't do anything about it. 2020 was a wake up call for me like many others, I could see the insanity so clearly. And Liana was a light guiding me out of the chaos leading me towards myself and Jesus's true teachings. I started doing the free anxiety, meditation, wound clearing and the abundance webinar. I subscribed to eliminations use tools. I learned from that like mantras. When I felt fear or stress, I put my hand on my heart and said, I am safe. All is well. I have everything I need. I still do that sometimes. I imagined a big red X over all of my negative thoughts. I started working on mother wound, I was guided to leave a dangerous state and I got rid of a lot of poverty, consciousness and limiting beliefs. I also stopped eating meat and reduced my dairy consumption. All of my physical symptoms went away and I started to cultivate peace in my life for the first time. I did the Candida program this year and lost 25 pounds. My skin is clear I have more energy and my anxiety and depression is gone. I quit dairy and alcohol and coffee. 

I completed HMI and I'm working on attracting some clients I realized that I am in control of my life. As Leanna says, I am the center of my own universe, and I am a limitless being in a limitless universe. Now I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. I love myself. I am way more patient and President with my kids and dogs. My relationship with my husband is deeper. I've become more independent, and my life is so much more peaceful. I recently realized my mother is a high level narcissist, and I needed to disconnect from her. I am still working on my wound healing. And I don't yet feel a personal connection to Jesus, but I trust it will happen and pray to him throughout the day. I continue to remind myself also as Leanna says, that my journey is perfect and unique. Thank you, Liana for your constant love and guidance to everyone in your community.

51:05

Hope faith and Liana it was six years years ago, I found Leanna I was incomplete ruins, smoking drugs, trying to rescue everyone around me but myself being in a relationship that was based based off of us both drinking alcohol and having no clue what school I wanted to go to for health education. The one I was at was not cutting it. I was paying 1000s of dollars for it and it was complete crap. I was at my wit's end completely lost. So here it was waking up that day doing drugs, I felt this wave of hope come over me and I'm like, What is this what is going on? I hadn't felt like this ever in my life. And from the looks of where I was at my life, it didn't make sense. I literally had just smoked drugs. I didn't understand that day until a couple of years later. Actually. Later that day, I found Leanna Shanti on Facebook, I knew immediately she knew what she was talking about and that she could help me. I quit the drugs and two days later I was enrolled in her life path program. It was the best decision I ever, ever made. I never looked back and and jumped into what I needed to do to myself. Now you know fast forward six years later, I have been sober of all drugs for five years sober from alcohol for four years Healed my body from the years of a blue abuse, cleared my toxic candida infection, heavy metals from all the drugs and toxins I have become a Health Mastery Institute health coach started my own jewelry company called Crystal hummingbirds jewelry, created a program to help get people off their own addictions and heal their liver and have a closer relationship with my family than I ever have. 

To say She saved my life is an understatement. She literally saved my soul. It's been a journey to hell and back with addictions. And I'm here because of her and every single one of her programs that got me exactly to where I am today. Having two amazing businesses to run, sharing my gifts and love of jewelry and guiding people out of their own addictions. It's such a dark place to be in. That is why it's not only this work is not only vital, these teachings are bringing hope to an otherwise lost world full of sick people who have no idea what to do and how to get out of addictions or anything dark. Look around everyone is either eating or drinking their misery way. And why there is massive incest, rape, murder, human trafficking on a grand scale and so many other things that show evil does exist. Anyone who can heal their own addictions, eat healthier, heal medical issues naturally start authentic businesses be more abundant and stop the self hate is how we are going to change this world. One by one. And the life proof proof is there is pouring out of her teachings and guidance. I am only one of those stories. And thank you, Liana Shanthi from the bottom of my heart. I love you so much. And this is Mahina Kala, thank you.

53:51

This is Chris

53:53

and I wanted to share my story on how I found you and what this journey has meant to me and what you mean to me. And really just the sheer gratitude, I feel everything single day now that I'm learning to love myself and connect to Jesus like I I just can't even wrap my brain around it. But anyway I found you back in 2020 I'm not really sure when I'm not really sure how. But you know, it was during the whole time when we were at home. And I guess I was on Instagram and I came across a people you may know. And I looked at your page and that okay, yeah, I don't know her. But you know, whatever. It's fine read it moved on. But it kept coming up people you know, so I think I can knocked on you again and might have followed you. 

And I'm sure whatever you put out triggered me because it was very Jesus II and very God ish. And it just at the time, I wasn't there yet. And I always thought I was, you know, connected to God and Jesus and I believed, but I don't know, like, there was just something lacking. And so I think I probably unfollowed you, and I'm not really sure when I started following you back again, maybe 2021. And I think I read something about Mother one and father wound and it intrigued me. And I don't know why. But all of a sudden, I started following you again. And from then on out, like I just knew, I knew this is what I've been missing. Because I realized that I've been missing so much in my life. And I realized that you know, you've asked this question so many times in eliminations and during mother wound, and I don't even know if it's during father wound, but you know, what brings you joy? What makes you happy? What, what do you need? What are your needs? 

And I couldn't answer any of them. My girls, I have three girls. And they made me happy. Being a mother made me happy. But that was all because of someone else. And so what made me truly happy? And I couldn't answer that. And I still can't answer it. 100% But I'm slowly learning and peeling back the lack the layers, because you've given me the tools to really dive into who I am, and what I'm supposed to be my son, I feel it every day when I listened to any and all of the things you say in your clearings, meditations, your courses and eliminations, I feel it. 

And I'm eternally grateful and humbled how much you have how much you have given to us. I said, Thank you forever, and always thank you, you are loved and appreciated more than you will ever know. And I know you feel it, and I know you're grateful for it. Because in every Illuminations, I hear the joy in your voice, and I hear the the wonder and the and the, and the laughter and the the happiness. And I hear the love.

57:33

And that just it just makes my heart burst. But you've helped me learn how to feel. They've helped me learn how to open my heart up and feel. And I can never say thank you enough. You've helped me learn that I'm worthy. And you helped me learn that I'm worth it. And I'm really trying hard to figure out this path of this life. They'll never stop trying. It's because of you. I ask every morning for Jesus to come into my heart to help me see my path. And just show me how I can serve every single morning.

58:25

I say the same every night before I go to bed. I pray every day all day. I've never done that. Because I know because of you you've you've helped me learn that I always have somebody here with me

58:44

and my heart. And I just I realized I wasn't truly living until I found your teachings until you know you show me how to value myself and love myself and love Jesus and love others and see how much everyone needs your teachings to find this all in themselves. And if we did my god, can you imagine what kind of world this would be?

59:10

I want to thank all of the ladies who contributed to episode two of this podcast and I hope for all of you listening that you found something some golden gem of inspiration, wisdom, support, love, whatever it is that you might have been looking for or searching for. And that concludes episode two of Deep Throat. And by that I mean throat chakra. You can follow me at Liana Shanti on Instagram and Twitter. I am also on YouTube now. Leanna Shanti My website is Liana shanti.com where you'll find my programs, my free offerings and my blog. You can also subscribe to illuminations forecast.com If you'd like to be part of my weekly message, which is everything from prayers and meditations, clearings, information on what is happening with the energy on the planet and the planets in the sky with a dash of quantum physics, lots of humor stories and a frequent backyard rooster. Until next time, beautiful people. Aloha