The Freedom First Podcast

28. Building Confidence

• Justin Arrington

Share episode

Ever received a piece of negative feedback that left you questioning your path? We've all been there, and in today's episode, I share how that first critical comment about our show helped me grow through action and build confidence. From feeling like a social butterfly at entrepreneur events to the awkward silences at family gatherings, this journey highlights the paradox of confidence. You'll hear about my early struggles with cold calling in real estate and how repeated exposure to discomfort eventually led to self-assuredness. It's a testament to the old adage: fake it until you make it.

Navigating the world with confidence doesn't just come from within; it's about the people you surround yourself with too. We tackle the challenge of ignoring negative opinions and focus on the power of a supportive circle. Whether it's starting a new fitness routine or launching a business, the reactions of those around you can make or break your resolve. Learn why it's crucial to align yourself with 'sharks'—ambitious individuals who push you beyond your comfort zone and help you grow. By the end, you'll be ready to take actionable steps to foster personal growth, all while appreciating the value of those who uplift and challenge you. Join me as we continue this introspective journey on building confidence and achieving success.

Follow me on IG @_justinarrington

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to the show everyone. This is the Freedom First podcast. This is episode number 28. I'm Justin Errington. I'm the host of this podcast. I'm super grateful to be with you all today Once again.

Speaker 1:

If you guys have not figured it out by now, I've been releasing an episode every day for the last 28 days now, and it's been an absolute blast for me to put these little short podcast episodes out. I know they're not super long. The format of the show is just straight, sweet, to the point. I want you guys to be able to grasp what it is that I'm telling you, and these are things that you can actually start applying into your life right now, today. You don't have to build up for it, you don't have to make this grand old plan. These are little tips that you guys can start applying into your lives today. Old plan Like, these are little tips that you guys can start applying into your lives today, and so I'm super grateful to to be able to be that person that you know you guys get to listen to on a day-to-day basis. If you are, I mean, maybe you guys are sick of this by now. I, I sure am not. I mean, this is a gosh. This podcast has been a incredible journey for me. I mean, we're just almost a month into this and I've enjoyed, I would say, 90% of it.

Speaker 1:

Like, there's some days where I'm just like, oh man, I don't know if I want to, you know, go in and prep for, for, uh, another show, but, um, this is something that I told myself that I was going to do. And even when, you know, times get tougher, um, you know, I I think I actually got my first um negative feedback on the show, um, you know, which was kind of interesting to hear. I mean, it's all, it's all a positive message, but that um actually is what sparked today's uh, today's topic, and it's uh, it's about confidence, and I'll be the first one to say I'd like to say, in certain settings I'm an extrovert, but then there's also settings where I am, for sure, an introverted person, um, and I don't know why it is that way. Like, maybe maybe I'm just bipolar when it comes to being confident, um, but overall I feel like I'm a pretty confident person, um, but there are times where, you know, I feel insecure, I feel like the little fish in a big pond and I just I don't know how to connect with people on, you know, the certain vibe or whatever that they're putting out, and it's really uncomfortable for me to, you know, go out and just start up conversation with with certain people. But also, like if, if we're in another setting, it's completely different. Like if I'm in a room full of entrepreneurs, like that's where I feel like I kind of thrive and that's where I'm more open to creating, you know, new relationships.

Speaker 1:

But if, like, we go to a birthday party of a family member that I'm not super close with, or you know, friends that I haven't seen in forever, I'm kind of awkward, like I don't, I don't know how to interact with, um, with a lot of people like that, and not that I don't know how it's, just like it's, it's uncomfortable for me to, you know, just go up and start random conversations about, oh, you know, your kids are growing so big and they're, they're so cute, and like all this, like I don't do that and I, um, I think I've always kind of been like that, like I remember, even in high school, like I had a really big group of friends, but I always kind of feel like, you know, I just kind of stayed in the back. I didn't want to be the center of attention and you may look at that now and be like no dude, you're putting out a freaking podcast episode every day, like maybe I come off as a super confident person, maybe I don't, um, but, like I said, it just kind of depends on the setting. But if you are struggling with confidence, I just want you to know like that that is okay, it's okay to not feel confident, it's okay to, you know, kind of feel like you want to stay back into the shadows a little bit. But I'm going to help you start to overcome that today. Um, as I mentioned, like being a little fish in a big pond is not easy, but when you are a little fish and you know that you have to go swim with sharks, you just got to fake it until you make it Like I don't know how else to how else to really say it other than you got to fake it. You know, if you're not a confident person, you have to fake being confident, and maybe that's pretending to be a different version of yourself, I don't know, but the best way to build confidence is to put yourself out there. You know, if you want to start networking with different individuals, or, you know, maybe you, um, you know starting this business and, like you, you have to put yourself out there, that's it. And the more that you do it, the more comfortable it'll actually get.

Speaker 1:

But I'll tell you, like I remember, when I first got into the real estate space, cold calling was something that I absolutely hated. Why? Because I'd call people, I'd ask them if they wanted to sell their house, and I'd get an F. You no, don't ever call me again. House, and I'd get an F. You, no, don't ever call me again. I don't want to talk to you. And I'd get just no, no, no, no. Guys, that is just straight demeaning to your brain. Like you are just fried by the end of the day, and it's like I don't ever want to pick up the phone again. I don't want to talk to anybody else, but I have to. And now it's to the point like I could get on the phone, talk to anybody for however, however long, make a conversation out of it and be just fine, and they could even cuss me out at the end, and I wouldn't even care. So, guys, you have to be willing to put yourself out there If you want, if you want the success that you're seeking, and a big part of building confidence is you got to stop carrying what people think, no matter what they may say about you, behind your back.

Speaker 1:

You just can't let that bug you. You just got to let it go Like it's. It's absolutely crazy how hard you that that actually is. Like you can tell yourself like, oh yeah, I don't care, I don't care that someone said this about me, but deep down you're like okay, yeah, that it did kind of hurt me a little bit. Just stop stop caring what people think. Like their opinions do not matter. You know, if you have like, if you have this idea, um, I just always go straight to business, right, just cause that. That's kind of the the world that I live in.

Speaker 1:

Um, but let's give you a different example. Let let's talk about fitness, for example. Okay, let's say you know, you and your friends, you hang out all the time. Um, I don't know what you're doing, but maybe chances are, if you're overweight, your friends are most likely overweight too. Um, when you tell them, you know what, I'm going to start eating clean. I'm going to start going to the gym. I'm going to stop, you know, drinking, I'm going to. Whatever it is, they're going to laugh at you and be like dude, no, like you'll be back here Friday night. Same situation. You know we'll pound a couple of brewskis and we'll just do the same thing that we do every weekend. But you tell them, no, like I'm not going to. Next Friday rolls around. You don't show up and guess what your butt's in the gym.

Speaker 1:

What do you think they're going to say about you behind your back? What do you think your friends are going to tell you when you let them know I'm going to start this business? This is what I want to do with my life. The second that you leave that room, they're going to start little rumors, they're going to start talking negative. They're going to start telling all their friends oh, you know, james, over here, he says he's going to start this business and he's going to become this big entrepreneur.

Speaker 1:

And you just got to let it go, man. Like, if they're willing to talk about you behind your back, they're not your friends. You got to start hanging out with them Now. If you do have friends that you know. Once you tell them your, your ideas and your dreams and your goals and they say, heck, yeah, man, I'm right there next to you. I want to do this with you.

Speaker 1:

Those are the people that you got to keep around. Those are the people that are going to just skyrocket your confidence. Those are the people that you want to surround yourself with. Those are the people that you want to have in like your top five people that you consistently hang out with. They're going to help you build to a new level of confidence. They're going to tell you yes, you can do this, keep going.

Speaker 1:

And, as cliche as it sounds, like, well, yeah, like it's easy to do stuff when you're motivated and you know people are cheering you on. Guys, if people aren't cheering you on, there's going to be a ton of people that are not cheering you on, and maybe they see you like. You know, you start this business and you actually start making some money and you know you're feeling awesome. Guess what. They're jealous. They're going to be talking about you behind your back. You just got to let it go and you got to keep building that momentum and that will ultimately start building your confidence. And the more confident that you become, the more willing you'll be able to put yourself out there. The more willing you're able to put yourself out there, the more connections that you're going to make. And guess what? The more connections you make, the more money you'll make as well, and that's the truth. So, guys, start building that confidence today.

Speaker 1:

A lot of you guys are probably that little fish right now and you're scared to death to to jump in with the sharks. But sharks know how to eat. So stop being the little guppy fish and start surrounding yourself with sharks. Start getting in the game, start putting yourself out there, and I can guarantee that you will see a difference in your life. The second that you start surrounding yourself with better individuals, better people you will notice a difference. Individuals, better people, you will notice a difference. So, guys, pick up the phone and talk to that person that you know you need to talk to.

Speaker 1:

Um, or go go to that networking, networking meetup where you're going to have to like that'll force you to get into a, into an uncomfortable space, and just talk to as many people as you can. I know you can do it because I've done it. That was me. I was afraid to pick up the phone, I was afraid to go to the networking events because I was a nobody, and there's still a lot of times where I feel like a nobody, but I am willing to put myself out there.

Speaker 1:

I am willing to go and share experiences with other people. I'm willing to listen, I'm willing to learn and share experiences with other people. I'm willing to listen, I'm willing to learn. The second that you realize how to do that, you will succeed. Guys, that's all I have for you today. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day. I know your time is so valuable and I just appreciate you spending this. You know, 10 to 12 minutes with me every single day and, with that said, we'll chat with you guys again, once again tomorrow for episode number 29. And learn how to build a free life living on your own terms.