The Freedom First Podcast

35. Become a Master Communicator Today

• Justin Arrington

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Ever wondered how mastering the art of listening could revolutionize your career and personal life? In this episode of the Freedom First Podcast, I, Justin Arrington, share actionable insights into the transformative power of effective communication. Drawing on lessons from Chris Voss's "Never Split the Difference," we unpack the profound impact of understanding your counterpart's needs and creating a safe space for open dialogue. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur or looking to excel in your current role, these communication strategies will provide you with invaluable tools to enhance your interactions and build stronger connections.

You'll hear firsthand experiences and practical tips on why letting others talk more can yield greater insights, making you not only a better salesperson but also a more engaging friend or colleague. From sales tactics to everyday conversations, this episode is packed with advice that you can start applying immediately to see significant improvements. Tune in and discover how mastering these skills can lead you towards a freer, more fulfilling life, helping you live on your own terms. Don't miss this opportunity to elevate your communication game and unlock the doors to personal and professional success.

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Speaker 1:

What's going on, guys? Welcome back to the Freedom First Podcast. This is Justin Arrington. I am your host. Thank you once again for tuning into today's show.

Speaker 1:

As you guys heard in the intro, my whole purpose of this podcast is to provide as much value and give you guys experiences that I have personally been through in my life that will hopefully lead you on your journey and on your path to living a free life and start living it on your own terms. And so, if this is the first time you guys have tuned in, I just want to say thank you all for giving me a chance and listening to me and this may be the first and only podcast that you listen to, but anyway, I really do hope that there is a value exchange here of some sort and just realize the things that I talk about on this show. They can be immediately implemented into your life and anything and everything that I talk about it does have a reason. And, like I said, once you guys start implementing these things, I know that you will start to see little differences and changes in your life that will hopefully lead you on a better path to becoming the best and highest version of yourself, lead you on a better path to becoming the best and highest version of yourself. And so, guys, I don't like to waste a bunch of time, because I know your time is valuable, so I'm just going to go ahead and dive right into it. Today's conversation is going to be about conversing and communicating with others, and how to effectively have a conversation with a lot of people. I've talked to a few of you guys and you know some of you guys are, you know, maybe early on in your entrepreneurship journey, or maybe you just want to become, you know, a better, a better person at your job and be an entrepreneur If that's the route that you want to go by. Either way is 100% fine, because the topic of communicating is the most effective and important skill that you could ever ever come across, and it's super important that you're able to master how to effectively communicate with people.

Speaker 1:

And when I started prepping for this show, one of the books that popped into my head it's actually one of my favorites. I try to read it. I would say maybe once a year. Uh, I may not get around to that, but I probably read this book now, I don't know three or four times, and it's never split the difference by uh, by Chris Voss, and if you guys have not read this book, I highly recommend you go on Amazon really quick and order it, or, um, you know, download it, download it and listen to it, um, but there's just a couple of things that I wanted to share from you, uh, or share with you.

Speaker 1:

That's in this book, um, so I'm just going to read a little read a couple of paragraphs and then maybe paraphrase it a little bit for you, um, but this is in chapter two, um, and it's just talking about how having a conversation, and it says the goal is to identify what your counterparts actually need or want monetarily, emotionally or otherwise and get them feeling safe enough to talk and talk and talk some more about what it is that they want. And one thing that I've really come to understand is when you're having a conversation with someone and let's just take a sales approach for a minute, right, let's say, you know you're you're having a sales conversation, and if you guys are not familiar with sales, like, honestly, the least amount that you talk, the better, and you always want your counterpart or your prospect giving, giving all the answers and and talking the majority of the time. Like you, you really just want to listen to them, figure out what their needs are and, um, really just become a sponge as to what they're saying. Um, but, as it says here, like you have to get them them as whoever and you're talking to to feel safe enough to just talk and talk and talk. And that may sound weird, but even like conversations that I have with with friends of mine or or you know people, new people that I meet I honestly I talk less, like I'm more interested in, you know, hearing about what they do. I'd rather hear about what someone else does than talk about what I personally do, which you know may come back to bite me in the butt and haunt me a little bit down the road, I don't know. Like, that's just kind of who I am.

Speaker 1:

I've talked, you know, a couple of times on the show like I am more introverted than I am extroverted. Um, really kind of depends on the, on the setting and whatnot. Um, but you really like, when you're having a conversation, get people talking, ask questions. I actually, um, I was watching a. What was it? Oh, it was a reel that one of my buddies posted on Instagram the other day and he was just talking about how he always asks people where they're from just to start a conversation. And the lady that he was talking to I don't know if she was from like Minnesota or something like that, and we're here in Utah, obviously, and that whole question just sparked an entire conversation. And you know, they got to learn a little bit about, you know her family and what, where they're from and what they do, and anyway, it really just so asking, asking questions and listening you'll get more out of a conversation that or of that, than just babbling on and on and on and on, and it kind of like I'm doing right now. Anyway, so that's one takeaway that I want you guys to kind of think about is are you asking questions and what is the whole purpose of the conversation that you're, that you're having? Because, in reality, every conversation that you have, no matter who it's with, there's some sort of purpose, and so it's better for you to ask those questions and get the most crystal clear understanding that you possibly can so that you understand and can effectively communicate with that person.

Speaker 1:

As we jump ahead a couple of pages, this is still in chapter two and, like I said, if you guys haven't read this book, go and read it, and chapter two is probably one of my favorites. But this paragraph says when deliberating on a negotiating strategy or approach, people tend to focus all of their energies on what, holy crap, I can't read today. Guys, let me pull this a little bit closer. When deliberating on a negotiating strategy or approach, people tend to focus all their energies on what to say or do, but it's how we are our general demeanor and delivery. That is both the easiest thing to enact and the most immediately effective mode of influence. And so what's this kind of?

Speaker 1:

What this is kind of talking about right now is mirroring, and if you guys have never heard the term mirroring, um, this really it's easier to do when you're, when you're kind of in a face-to-face setting. Um, it is possible to do it over the phone, uh, but over the phone it's more tonality than anything. Um, but, guys, when you're going to meet somebody new and maybe you don't quite know how to, you know, come about on this person, or maybe it's, you know you're, you're asking someone out on a date and you don't quite know how their reaction is going to be, all you have to do is just mirror them, you know. So, if you go up to someone and you shake their hands and you know you can kind of tell their their handshake wasn't quite as firm. Immediately, like, at least my response is okay, you know what. This person might be a little more timid, so let's not come at them, you know, a hundred, a hundred miles an hour. Let's maybe just tone it back a little bit and maybe take a little bit softer approach versus, you know, say, I go to shake a guy's hand and you know it's a nice firm handshake and he, he says hello, he initiates the conversation.

Speaker 1:

I immediately know who and what kind of person I'm dealing with right here. It's clearly an extroverted person and this conversation is probably, you know, going to be a little bit easier than someone who's, like, super timid. But either way, however they're acting, you just got to mirror them and do the same things they do, you know, like if, if they're folding their arms and you know, maybe they feel like, oh no, I don't want anybody to see me Maybe fold your arms and, just, you know, act a little bit more casual. Or, you know, versus a business setting, maybe you're going into an important meeting where you know you're going to be talking about a big project or something like that and and you know you do need to be a little bit more firm I'm sure there's going to be a little the the atmosphere in that room is going to be a little bit different, and you just got to mirror whatever action the person in front of you or the person that you're communicating with, just match them and do what they do without it being creepy Right. This is something that you definitely do have to practice, but I've, you know, in my line of work I'm talking with homeowners all the time.

Speaker 1:

You know, going out on appointments, meeting them. I've come across all sorts of people where, you know, maybe there's been a couple that have been just ultra wealthy and they're selling investment properties and the conversations that I have with those people are far different than the homeowner who's about to get foreclosed on because their spouse left them and you know they can't keep up on the bills and they can't keep up on the mortgage and if they don't sell the house and they're going to lose it, like the conversations are just 100% different and you have to be willing to, you know, go in to that conversation with the person that's going through you know a lot in their life versus you know someone else who's just I just need to get rid of this house, and you know I don't really care, right? There's one last thing that I want to share with you guys in this book, and it's just one sentence, and it says your most powerful tool in any verbal communication is your voice, you know. So I've talked a little bit about tonality, I've talked a little bit about mirroring, and if you guys feel like you are not a good communicator, let's hop on some phone calls, or let's go out to lunch, let's go and communicate with each other and just really dive deep on conversations Like communications. I honestly feel like that should be a whole section that you have to go through in high school in order to graduate.

Speaker 1:

You have to be willing to communicate with people, and even though we live in such a digital age and you can just send someone an email or send someone a text or whatever yes, that is cool and it does make things really, really efficient, but I guarantee you, if you can master the art of communication because that's what it is, it's an art you have to be willing to learn how to communicate with people, and if you, and if you master that, you're going to go way further than someone who's stuck behind a laptop or stuck behind their phone all day, and that's where they get all their work done, because in reality, real business, it's done face to face and it's done over the phone, like just having that physical person and not all this AI. I'm not going to call it garbage because I've used it. I use it in my business today, but there there's there's a time and place for that. But I really do feel like it's highly, highly important to become a master communicator and be I don't know good with words. You know I may not have a big vocabulary, but I feel like I do have the ability to have and hold conversations with. You know, it doesn't matter to the person because I've been able to master the art of mirroring and tonality and everything. So, guys, that's all I have for you today.

Speaker 1:

I know we went a little bit long and maybe this episode was a little bit boring for you, um, but again, action item go get the book never split the difference by Chris Voss. It's on Amazon, I mean you can probably pick that up for 15 bucks and I guarantee you like, if you take the time to read and study that book, it will change your life if you want to become a better communicator. And so that's all I have for you today. Thank you all for tuning in once again and, as always, we'll chat with you again once again tomorrow. The Freedom First podcast. So just come and learn how to build a free life living on your own terms.