Ep. 188 - Bad B*tch Energy: Decisiveness, Standards, and Women Who Rise Together

This episode is a deep dive into bad b*tch energy - what it is, what it isn’t, and why it changes everything. You’ll hear why real empowerment doesn’t come from aggression or comparison, but from security, abundance, and self-trust. Rhiannon unpacks the kind of female friendships that expand you: women who are genuinely happy for your success, hold you to your standards, tell you the truth, and don’t compete or keep score.

You’ll explore how bad b*tch energy shows up as decisiveness, focus, and momentum: making the call, taking the action, and dealing with the fallout instead of playing it safe and shrinking. This is about choosing movement over perfection, standards over approval, and ownership over overthinking.

Stop hesitating, people-pleasing, or dimming yourself to keep the peace. This episode is a reminder that you’re allowed to take up space - and win - alongside other powerful women.

This episode is dedicated to Matilda Wand. The baddest bitch I know and who I'm so thankful to have in my life. Happy Birthday!

Loved this episode? Take the next step with The Confident Communicator — my monthly coaching program designed to help you apply what you’ve learned and finally build unshakable confidence in how you speak, lead, and show up. Inside, you’ll get the support and accountability you need to stop second-guessing yourself and start communicating with clarity and calm authority. Join now at rhiannonbush.com/join

Transcript

BAD B*TCH ENERGY: DECISIVENESS, STANDARDS, AND WOMEN WHO RISE TOGETHER

EP #188

“Do I need a life coach?” You’re listening to Episode 188, with Rhiannon Bush

Welcome to the do I need a podcast. The podcast for professionals who are smart capable and tired of holding back here we dive into the real conversations real struggles and real coaching helps you find your voice and own your space and now here's your host Rhiannon Bush. 

well hello my beautiful friends welcome back to another week. I am gonna jump straight into it today because I am pumped. I'm excited and I have been like this all day and I'm excited to talk about this today. We are talking about bad bitch energy. They will be swearing for those of you know that I don't normally swear on a podcast episode. Damien was watching something the other day was a chef show and the chef just hit F bombs left right and Santa turn off just like I mean it's a personal thing right? It shouldn't bother me. It's just words but I just was like oh really necessary and the kids will also initial which probably made me a little bit overly sensitive to it but they will be swearing on this episode for any of you who are listening to this around your children maybe hit pause. It's not gonna be excessively bad because swearing is not something that I love too much but anyway bad bitch energy what is it? What actually is it? So I have been on fire with it today? I've had it all day. I've had my red lipstick on. I put my ponytail up and I have handled shit. I've done it so to me bad bitch energy it's very symbolic of empowerment. It's strong it's fierce. It's unapologetic someone with bad energy is decisive. They're moving and they're not letting anybody or anything. Get in their way and I'm saying this I've gotta do a little shout out to my beautiful friend one of my best friends one of the greatest love of my life. Matilda Quest want now married name excuse me. She is just living her best life and you can actually follow her on #OurChosenroad and she's got her two kids in a caravan and they're travelling around just really trying to settle down her central nervous system anyway follow her she's brilliant and it's her birthday. Well it was her birthday on Monday so happy happy birthday to her but if anyone's got bad energy it's her and it's one of the reasons I love hanging out. She bad bitches are the kind of girlfriends that have relationships that thrive because of the kind of friends that when you have a bad bitch in your life they love you for who you are without jealousy without comparison and it is a really genuine happiness for you and your success. It's a kind of girlfriend who pumps you up instead of tears you down it's not someone that flips and changes on you and gives you whiplash because one minute that you Bestie somebody else's Bestie and you don't fit into that equation none of that bullshit exists. It is just a pure supportive cheerleading type friendship but also one where she's gonna pull you up like I know if I was out of line Tilly wouldn't have a problem being like oh what was that? And then you have this really beautiful honest amazing genuine connection and those types of female friendships are the best and I so rarely see them and as I'm getting older. I'm making so much more space for that in my life and letting go of friendships that don't serve me in that way. One of my other best friend Sally down in Hobart and I've got another beautiful best friend Gracie up in the Blue Mountains. These girls are the same. They're bad bitch energy but not sometimes with aggression. They're just really genuinely honest and really secure in themselves and that's the difference. When you get a girl who's insecure who's Tryna really pay her way and make homework if there's an insecurity lying underneath it that's when you can't have that genuine honesty where you feel supported and pumped up and psychologically safe. It just won't work because essentially our self interest is our own right we are all about protecting and caring for ourselves first and foremost and we all want to win and if that's a little bit confronting for you, I completely understand that I get it. Believe me. It's not a really comfortable thing to say or to have somebody else say it to you. I totally hear what it is that you may be feeling or thinking around that but self preservation is a basic human need that we have and we are about self interest and that's okay. That is completely normal completely fine and when you are okay with owning that you start to enter that bad bitch status because when you enter that land of bad bitch status you realise that you don't have to preserve. Add others losses and others expenses that is not how the world works. You can win and so can everybody else the world is not like a cake where you get a slice which means there's a limited amount for everybody else you're not taking from anybody else actually bad bitch energy is like oxygen you win everyone else wins you breathe it infra you breathe it out. Somebody else somebody else breaks it out right bit of an analogy but you get my point right this is not coming from a scarcity mindset. You can't come at bad bitch energy and have bad energy. If you are coming from a place of scarcity and lack you have to come at bad bitch energy and own bad energy from a place of abundance and security and like I saying with a girlfriend thing when you have girlfriends who are really secure in themselves they are the ones that will champion you and support you and they will be the best kind of company to keep because I'll keep you honest. They'll hold you to a standard and you know if you are a bad bitch because you'll have bad bitch friends bad bitch friends do not have friends who are not also bad bitches. They will not waste their time. They will try hanging on to relationships for reasons that they don't even understand and it won't work bad bitches will seek out women who are genuine who are honest to a kind and who make you feel great and like you can achieve absolutely anything and those relationships 100% exist and they are the best and when you can feel that kind of value and that kind of value exchange in a relationship in a friendship where you are truly psychologically safe and empowered and you've got that confident in that girlfriend there is no better feeling that is an incredible incredible feeling and it can be kind and just and fair where everybody wins including you you win most because it has a bad bitch you get to surround yourself with other bad bitches another bad bitch Franny Perez she I've known her a few different lifetimes that we've had along the way but she's got a Facebook group called Smart club which I just adore and Franny is a bad bitch rolling hands and purpose. She's three boys and she is insane. She's just absolutely excellent. She's one of these discipline humans who gets her eye on the prize and follow through and does what she wants to do so huge shout out to Franny as well because when I think about these women in my life baby energy I want to be around they're the kind of people I want to spend my time with they cut the kind of energy that I want to also have an embody and own and you cannot do that. If you let your standard slide you cannot do that if you don't have people around you to champion you can't do it. Why would you want to okay so to share in that and basket in all that glory and win with all these others that are winning as well and I mean winning at life like to go through a day feeling like a bad bitch but you're focused with the size of your energise you're moving. You get to the end of it and you're like yeah I smashed it. I post to sitting in a day we're like oh I didn't make a decision on that. I don't know if I did the right thing around that I mean you can immediately sense the energetic shift that paradigm shift between I'm doing this and if I get it wrong then fuck it up and I'll have to deal with the consequences or the opposite which is I just don't know what to do and I don't know how to handle this. I spend a lot of time trying to be considerate because I really don't want to make things up and I'm a bit of a people please recovering which is what I was talking about last episode but as a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser going through a day where I just you know I'm doing it and I'm on and get out of my way if you're not is just so much better and so much energetically neutral for me I knew today was gonna be a tough day and there's been some things going on and I got in the gym this morning so that's the first thing I recommend number when you gotta get physical so I was lifting weights in the gym this morning and it was hard and it hurt but while I was doing that I was listening to the band disturbed now I don't know if any of you know this band but so catchy and I only got onto them through a like rock mix it was called an angry workout mix there you go that I was listening to because I do like to work out just like rock metal that kind of stuff just pumps me up enjoy it. Get out adrenaline flowing makes me angry right so I was doing that this morning and then I knew stepping into my day that I was going to have to have some pretty icky conversations today and I was probably gonna get emotional and probably that emotion was not gonna help me solve the problems that I needed to solve so. Like I said I put my red lipstick on. I put my hair in a ponytail to handle it and that is something that you can do to really start handling your bad bitch energy. Do something physical unless you physically move. It's not going to work so whether that's anchoring yourself like warrior pose like if you watch people do the hooker it is so visceral like it's tense and it's and it's just amazing right? So you gotta do something physical whether that's like weight weights in the gym whether that's boxing whether it's yelling or screaming whether it's power posing in the bathroom like pick your poison right pick the thing that works for you and quick and effective and easy. You don't have time to go out and you know do a weight workout but if you can do anything do it the music for me is a big one as well. I know I've spoken about this in the past but music really helps me manage my state. I'm very very oral AURAL not oral ORL so many jokes. I'm very oral as in my hearing is extremely sensitive and I find I can listen to a song and it will instantly change my mood instantly so when I need to feel a bit of bad bitch energy I choose music like disturbed to do it and it's the same in the gym when I'm lifting weights. It's the same when I'm on my way to handle something that's a bit icky. Have a confronting conversation whatever that might be and I let myself get angry. I know we talk about emotional depression and socialism and being professional and all of those things but if you wanted to channel bad bitch energy nothing will help you do it as fast as getting angry and who you get angry with is the key right? You want to channel that anger into something that's not gonna come around and bite you back in the arse but you wanna do it in a way where you are unable to feel angry and it just makes you the anger gives you this armour. I find it gives you this thing if someone gonna come at you you're gonna be like that and if you are like really really strong in yourself and you're a bit angry and you're a bit tense it's like if someone you know how if kids are doing things and they just flop around and they're doing like a contact sport then they can be pushed over instead of like no no if you dance then you're gonna like take it anger is like that anger enables you to take it so when the world throws you something or someone's being an idiot and they just come at you and you're like no not today mate. The anger will help you with stand that pushing that thing that comes at you it's like a shield. It's like an armour and it's like no try again and often your energy will be enough to tell somebody that that's how you're feeling today. Your energy alone will tell me to back off and not mess with you today if that doesn't work the angle enable you to kind of whatever it is a throwing rebound and then you can have at it and do it the way that you wanna do it so do something physical. Get angry enable yourself to be angry if it's a more complex problem justify it to yourself before communicating it in any other way justified in the way of would you behave that way and if you wouldn't behave that way is it really unfair or unjustified that you would ask somebody else to behave that way and when you justify it to yourself and you hold your standard then other people forced to rise to your standard if you're wavy with your standard and I did an episode on standards a few weeks ago so if you wanna have more to do with that go and listen to that episode it was a killer but the standard if you don't hold it then people break it and you know that you've let people break it and that is not bad bitch energy my friends come on ladies if you have a standard maintain a standard do not fault or waiver on the standard because as soon as you do your arm starts cracking your bad bitch energy starts cracking and that's when that self talk and things corrode your confidence and way you go back down that angry rabbit hole so no you've got a standard maintain it and if you justify whatever the complex problem is to yourself often that will give you that rigour behind yourself to get angry and hold that standard with other people and be like no this feels like shit that I'm having to even tell you that this is how you're gonna treat me but I'm gonna but I'm gonna because if I wave on this you're gonna get away with it and then you're gonna do it again anyway right? This is about teaching people how to treat you teaching people of the standards that you expect and that you hold those standards yourself you're not being hypocritical asking them to do something you wouldn't do. You're setting the standard and you're saying this is what I do. This is what I expect. Great it's black-and-white to me. Meet the standard or goodbye so they are some of the ways that I maintain bad bitch energy or I channel it when I need to dial it off or not. Sometimes I don't need the bad energy. Some days I can just get on with what I need to do and do it and it's all good other day that's like no need my armour on today. Let's go. Let's get this thing done and all the way that you can handle that energy is by making a decision any decision make a move do something differently. Anything because the worst thing is going to happen is you're gonna get the feedback to go and you made the wrong decision and then you make another decision the better to be bold and be happy with yourself and be like yes I did it. I made a move then to sit there for another day going oh I could've done that. I could've tried or I could've spoken or I could've done not do it. Take a deep breath and do it I was with the kids on the weekend at the Riverside pool which is just round the road and they have a four meter platform to jump off into the water. My 4 1/2 year-old was like I'm going off the platform. I was like oh really cause 4 1/2 you can't go up there by yourself. Well we got to the top and she walked to the edge and the lifeguard said you might want to go first why I can't wanna go at all anyway walk to the edge and I look down and I was like oh my stomach just like dropped. I was like oh I don't know. I'm not afraid of heights but I don't need to be jumping off platforms into water even when I can see that there's nothing under the surface right? I just I don't even be doing that. Just don't I saw it and I'm not looking at that and my stomach so sick I was like right and I counted down at one and I jumped. It was fun. I didn't need to do it again but my daughter jumped after me and then she went through a four more times. No fear just just went and did it and baking some kind of a movie exactly like that. Yes it's scary. Yes it doesn't feel good but you know what? Sometimes you just need to shake things up. Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself. You have a backbone put on your big girl pants or put your hair in a ponytail which ever expression you like better and handle it red lipstick helps me what I wear helps me you know these outfits that you wear that you feel good in that you feel powerful and if it's 6 inch stilettos in an office and wear your 6 inch stilettos if it's flat flat whatever wear your power suit. Stop letting people mess with you. Stop not submitting an opinion on something because you're worried about being reprimanded or not being liked. Let's go make a difference. Make the suggestion. Just make sure that you've justified it and sort it through and you're not being unreasonable coming out of from a place of emotion even though I have said get angry angry is an arm. The anger isn't there when you're making the decision to say what you're going to say don't react but think about it and then do it execute 321 execute and then make decisions off the back of it people may fall out with you. People may get offended but trust me when I say you want bad bitches around you you want women and friends that are gonna hold you to account that maintain their standards because you are that person you're aligned with that person and when you are around people that are more aligned with who you are and what you want and the energy you want to carry and the respect and the status you wanna command you are gonna be so much happier every single day within your life I promise you channel your bad bitch energy if that means hanging out with a bad bitch to start with do it try the things that I've spoken to you about in this episode and remember that really people gonna get upset you're gonna apologise and you're gonna own it so that's another thing. A bad bitch. Does she owns it? You shouldn't have said that maybe I shouldn't have what are you gonna do about it? There's no oh sorry there's no apologising. There's no placating. It's total ownership. Are you out of line with that? Maybe but I still had a point and you don't need to be a smart arse about it. You don't need to be sassy but you need to justify yourself defend yourself. Kindly play the game so you're either gonna offend people and have to own it. You might have to apologise but at the very end of the day then you let it go and you do that by literally saying to yourself out loud doesn't work when it's just in your head you just say that to yourself out loud. I am not letting this infiltrate me any more. I am not letting this affect me any more. I am. Any space in my head any more I'm moving on. I'm letting this go when you say that out loud. There's something that shifts in your brain and then you were able to focus on moving forward and focus on other things and that way you don't let icky energy infest the rest of your day whether it's a holiday you've been on and something happened. Don't let it ruin the whole holiday. If it's a moment at work don't let it ruin the whole day. Simply say I'm moving on. I'm not entertaining this any more whatever works for you a statement work for you but I am finding as soon as I say that out loud I am so much more in control and bad bitches are in control. They're in control of the things they can control the things they can't they let go they don't. They don't give it any mental space at all. This episode is absolutely on my beautiful friend Matilda wand. I hope you're having an amazing birthday and an amazing time where ever it is. You are in the world right now and to all my other bad bitches out there who are listening this episode feeling a little bit pumped up and a little bit ready to make a move and go go do it. You've got this you know that this is who you are. You know that this is energetically neutral for you and I cannot wait for you to go and claim your bad bitch self and spend all of your time in genuine honest beautiful bad bitch relationships. I will see you next week. 

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Please note, this transcription may not be exact.