Analyze and Understand

The Unlikely Gifts Podcast brings you the fourth episode of its special-edition series of 10 podcasts called Monday Afternoon Club with Diane & Amy. 

Host Diane M. Simard is joined by co-host Amy Fairchild, a professional singer, life/success coach, and project manager consultant to discuss the fourth chapter, titled Analyze and Understand, in Diane's new book about healing forward from life's emotional scars. 

In this episode, Diane and Amy break down the reasons why Diane incessantly asks questions, how she processes information, and why leaders who create original content are the leaders she finds most trustworthy.  

Other topics of discussion:

• What each of them do to "exercise" their brains
• Amy's side-gig as a professionally-trained singer
• The different ways we process information
• Why great communicators are great listeners
• What Diane did to double the followers on her email list
• What happened when Diane and Amy first met on Amy's Encourage Project Podcast
• The beauty of middle age

Diane's Links
Personal website
Facebook
LinkedIn (personal)
LinkedIn (Unlikely Gift Productions)
Diane's book

Larry's Links
Larry's Sorta Fun Stories podcast
Collage Travel Radio
LinkedIn

Amy's Links
The Encourage Project website
The Encourage Project podcast
LinkedIn

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:05

Hi, and welcome to the Unlikely Gifts Podcast. I'm producer and editor Larry King, and it's my honor to introduce co-hosts Diane M. Samard and Amy Fairchild on this episode of the special 10 editions called The Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. Relax and enjoy the fun as these two firecrackers chat about the principles that keep them both grounded and share the amusing, memorable events they both insist really did happen. So now, here, let's bring on the stars of the show. Here's Diane and Amy.

Diane M. Simard: 0:46

Hello, hello. How about a big round of applause for everyone's friend? The one I refer to as the other Larry King. Thanks, buddy, for all you do for us. Great to have you back for the Unlikely Gifts Podcast's special edition Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. I'm Diane M. Samard, and with me is my co-host, Amy Fairchild, whose unending talents range from project management to public speaking, singing, and life and success coaching. What an honor it is to have you here for this 10-episode run.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19

Oh, thank you, Diane. You always make me sound so sparkly. And I am thrilled to be a member of the club, and I'm really, really honored to be a part of this truly special project.

Diane M. Simard: 1:31

Well, it's our honor to have you here. Now, the Unlikely Gifts podcast focuses on stories about impactful people and places and events that I consider to be unlikely gifts. Along with telling stories through podcasting and blogging, I also write books. And we're in the midst of a special series of 10 podcasts called Monday Afternoon Club to discuss the 10 business and life principles that are the basis of my next book, which by the way has a working title of Heel Forward and Break Free from Emotional Pain. But uh, we'll likely think of something uh way more creative than that by the time it's published. And I invited Amy to be my co-host to discuss this next book because I value her perspectives as a life and a success coach. Plus, she's one of the most awesome people I know.

SPEAKER_01: 2:17

Well, it takes one to know one sister.

Diane M. Simard: 2:20

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 2:20

Thank you so much. You know, um, one of the things that really resonated for me when we talked about this project was your journey to defining your principles and getting a chance to share some of that insight with other folks. I like to refer to principles as my no matter what. You know, for example, no matter what, everyone has a voice. No matter what, I start from a place of love. And a person's principles can take time to discover and develop, and you have to try a few things over time. And they can change too. And so I really I can't wait to dive into this with you.

Diane M. Simard: 2:58

Yeah, this is it's so interesting. And and ever since I set my intentions by defining my personal principles, I find myself standing firmer and more confident in my convictions. And it's like I feel like I'm in this perpetual bulldog stance, right? So I feel like my principles help me declare where I'm going so I can best strategize the best way to get there.

SPEAKER_01: 3:23

Yes, 100%. I view that principles are the guardrails on the highway. So um actually, before we get started, in our tradition, you know, it's Monday. So in the spirit of Monday Afternoon Club, what are you drinking today, Diane?

Diane M. Simard: 3:39

Uh, I'm I'm having one of my favorites, and it's something really simple. It's sparkling water with lime, no ice. And, you know, I feel really sophisticated when I drink this drink. What's that? Well, there's something about a squeeze of fresh lime that clears out the cobwebs in my brain, although sometimes you wouldn't know it. And I I swear I could squeeze lime juice over just about any food. And I love having it on avocados and hicima and steak and chicken and sometimes even scrambled eggs. And and I feel like it's like a microphone the way it amplifies flavors. So, so how about you? What's in your glass this afternoon?

SPEAKER_01: 4:22

Well, it's it's not lime juice. That sounds really, really good. Um, I actually have a gig this evening. I'm sitting in with a local band, and um, I'm keeping myself sharp and my voice on point. So, in lieu of what I wanted to have today, which is my favorite and old-fashioned, I'm actually drinking herb tea and honey.

Diane M. Simard: 4:42

Ah to uh to preserve that voice.

SPEAKER_01: 4:45

Yes. Uh boring but effective.

Diane M. Simard: 4:48

Yeah, absolutely. And and and just I'm I'm curious because I've never asked, what kind of music do you sing?

SPEAKER_01: 4:54

Right now, I'm singing a lot of blues and old time rock and roll. The band that I'm playing with right now does that. I'm uh I was actually a a trained opera singer. I was trained in classical vocal performance, and um, I've sung all different kinds of things. Blues are my favorite by far, though. Oh gosh.

Diane M. Simard: 5:11

I I I am in awe. I I really am. And thank you. To be trained as an opera singer, that's just like way off the charts. So you way exceed the cool factor. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_01: 5:24

I appreciate that. But let's talk about your cool factor, though. This book, you know, in chapter four of your new book that will be out in the fall of 2023. Uh, the chapter is entitled Analyze and Understand. What exactly does that mean?

Diane M. Simard: 5:40

I am and have always been an inquisitive person by nature, was born with it. And when I was a little kid, I was always asking questions why. And so now I have this drive to stimulate dialogue by asking questions to anybody who's honestly in the mood to talk. And as I mentioned, I was inquisitive when I was a little girl, but it was when I had to take print journalism classes in college just to get a minor in public relations, because that was the degree I really did want. It was back then when I started to ask a lot of questions. And those journalism classes taught me to question not just the topic of what I was writing about, but the intention and the source of most everything I was being told.

SPEAKER_01: 6:28

That sounds like a really healthy approach to things.

Diane M. Simard: 6:31

Well, it works really well for me, and and it's why I arrived at analyze and understand of one as one of my life principles. Because especially today, with so many forms of social media and communication and ways to get information, there's just so much content available that I had to develop a process to stay informed, but yet to add an element to it, to stay informed about factual truth, right? And so I do this by questioning all the sources of information that I get. Some of it's subconscious, some of it is very much intentional. It can be tedious, honestly, but taking an extra step to understand if the data I'm hearing is fact-backed or whether the source can be even identified, it helps me keep everything in perspective. And so when I hear something, I ask myself, is it statistically backed or researched information? Is it someone's opinion or God forbid a rumor? Or is someone just speaking for the sake of hearing themselves talk?

SPEAKER_01: 7:38

I'm sure we know lots of people like that. Yeah. What I what I find interesting about that is I had never made the connection until you just said, you know, between journalism and and questioning things, particularly the questions that you put out there. Is it statistically backed? Isn't an opinion? Is it rumor? Um, I love that. And it sounds like me, you or sounds like me, sounds like to me that you apply the principles of journalism training every day. So it was it was a good investment, apparently.

Diane M. Simard: 8:11

Yeah. Uh just to get a public relations degree, right? But yeah, and I really do do that. So back in the late 1980s, back when I was in college, I was required to verify sources for these news stories that I wrote. And I had to verify these sources as many as three times. I had to verify direct quotes, and I could never inject my own opinion in a hard news story. That was an absolute no-no. And so now, today, these lines are more blurred. And and we live in this time where the communication of news and information has turned into a competition, right? Oh gosh, yeah. So who breaks the news first, who gets a larger response? And today, news cycles last minutes, maybe, certainly not hours or even days. And so, for all these reasons, is why I arrived at this life principle of analyzing and understanding first before I decide what to do with the piece of information. And then if I can't be convinced of the source, I usually just drop it, I just let it go, which uh unfortunately seems to happen much of the time.

SPEAKER_01: 9:17

I I love that you said that that it caused you to analyze and understand first before you decide. Even just taking a moment to pause, I think would be beneficial to lots of people in terms of making decisions. So, what prompted you to make that a practice um in terms of one of your life principles?

Diane M. Simard: 9:40

Well, it's a particularly sensitive subject for me, and and I'll explain why. So uh throughout my 30 plus years in corporate America as an employee, plus, you know, as an investor, board member, and a consultant, I met hundreds of business leaders, as I'm sure you have too. And they each have their own unique style of communicating or selling or attempting to establish their credibility. And what I found was that the leaders who demonstrated that they did their own homework by conducting their own research or sharing their own experiences, those were the ones I trusted the most. Because in essence, they created their own original content. And it was the leaders who just regurgitated what they read online or told parts of stories, only focusing on the good parts that made them look good. Those were the ones that were impossible for me to trust because they gave me this impression that they were, oh, perhaps popular, or they were able to absorb a lot of information. But to me, they they were just not genuine, they weren't authentic and they certainly weren't trustworthy because they didn't create anything original themselves.

SPEAKER_01: 10:52

Yeah. But I could see how that would be well, I've experienced the same thing. It it feels like you said, it's regurgitated. I'm like, why would I listen to you? Because you're just saying what everyone else said not long ago. And it's interesting that people really, really connect at the heart through stories. And it's interesting to keep that in mind. And you do that so well in your writing, you know, connecting with people. You're you're definitely what I would call a pragmatist, and you're also so talented at providing perspective through your vulnerability and through your willingness to share stories.

Diane M. Simard: 11:30

Well, one consistent element I try to make clear is that I'm not at all interested in trying to convince you that my views are correct, nor do I want you to think like I think. Uh, because we all have brains, right? And and we need to use them. Yes. And and so what I communicate is simply my commentary. And and if it makes you giggle or shed a tear or ponder or question, then great, I've done my job.

SPEAKER_01: 11:57

Oh, what a what a gift though. What a great job. I mean, to get people to ponder, as you say. I mean, who knows uh what ideas or or or what innovations you've sparked by getting people to ponder. Um, so I'm curious, how much time do you think do you spend absorbing and questioning information in a day?

Diane M. Simard: 12:20

Oh boy. Um, well, I would say at least an hour, at least an hour, but that's spread over the course of a whole day, which starts really early in the morning before seven for me. And I usually punch out, I leave my computer 12 hours later and I'm doing other stuff in between. But but I'm fascinated by information and and I I consistently track the sources of these types of information. And again, I'm just I'm seeking research-backed, credible information. That's that's what I want. And since I have a project-based based work life, and again, whether I'm doing advocacy work for more mental health services for cancer patients, or whether I'm writing or working with new writers now as a coach, everything intersects with the general business world in my world. And so my most trusted source of business information is actually the Wall Street Journal.

SPEAKER_01: 13:14

That is so interesting. And of course, I love that you say you have a project-based work life. That makes me very happy. Yeah. I would not have guessed the Wall Street Journal. I have to say that. I would not have guessed the Wall Street Journal.

Diane M. Simard: 13:27

Yeah, it's it's it's reading the Wall Street Journal is one of the most calming things I do. How twisted is that? And and and my goal in doing so, it's not to get smarter, but it's to exercise my mind. And that's just a really big deal for me. And it and it starts with the fact that my mother, who passed away over 20 years ago, had um was in the middle stages of dementia. And so I've just been very cognizant and just trying to keep my mind exercising, as you know, probably better than anyone. Boy, I am just, I am just many, many things happen in a day. And I need that, I need that stimulation, right? But there are some other interesting things that I do that that I do to challenge my brain, to keep it active. And so, for example, I'll uh if I come across a word that I've never seen before, I'll either pause and look it up or I write it down. So it's not unusual at the end of the day, I'll have this list of words that I then go and research. And and one other thing I do that I've been talking a lot about recently is using my non-dominant hand, which happens to be my left hand because I'm right-handed. And it was I started doing that because I had um tendonitis in my right shoulder a couple of years ago from like an idiot lifting two heavy weights over my head. And so I injured my writing hand. And so I started needing to use my left hand more often. And what I found is I happened to read later after I was doing that in in one of those self-help books, hey, you're getting older, and here's things that you could do. And it recommended to use your non-dominant hand. So, and what I've found since I've been doing that is it has literally woken up a part of my brain that does not get used and that's so healthy. And I'm more alert and awake, and I think um more clearly and and get this. I actually have better balance. Are you serious? Yeah, something I didn't expect. And and again, it's because I'm I'm trying to use both hands in equal amounts, and it just somehow impacts your equilibrium. Anyway, it's I highly, highly recommend that. And then, and then one other thing I do, because I love, love, love to cook, is I love to take existing recipes that are either in my head or in cookbooks and just make them more healthy. And that that's just a a stimulating challenge for me, and it's obviously good for my health, hopefully. And and so I just even in everyday life, I try to shake it up, do routine things differently. And it and I just I feel more alive because of that.

SPEAKER_01: 16:06

I love that. I think that's such a great example for folks. You know, most folks don't consider that their brains need to be exercised, right? You know, used in new ways to create new wrinkles, right? Yeah. Um for for me, it's and I don't want to create wrinkles except on my brain. There you go. But for for me, it's similar um playing instruments, um, playing games. I have a monthly game night with a few friends and we play card games, and I'm terrible at it, but it it exercises my brain. I love it. Um, and trying new adventures like off-roading, you know, stuff that gets me doing things and using parts of my brain that I don't normally use in the course of an average day. Sure. I agree with you. I think it's awesome.

Diane M. Simard: 16:46

Well, and so let's kind of bring it back towards the business world a little bit, because I'm curious. And and Amy, we all know that you're a very talented project manager. So, in your role as a project manager consultant, what are your general views on how others just generally process information? Do you find that some process information better than others? And if so, why?

SPEAKER_01: 17:10

It's a really interesting question. I do think that some folks might be more adept at processing information in certain ways. I do think that's possible. I also have learned, particularly as a project and program manager, um, having worked across cultures and generations and continents, all different types of people and situations, that more often than not, it's that people process information differently. Some people are visual processors, they might need a graphic. Some people are auditory. I'm very much an auditory processor. Some need to actually spend time reflecting back or doing something with the information. And when I can provide ways for all types of processors to get the message, I'm really serving them as a leader when I'm working with my teams.

Diane M. Simard: 17:57

Wow. And and so just curious, do you find that those who process information similarly are more effective collaborators? Or is it good to have a mix?

SPEAKER_01: 18:08

I've never considered that. It it logically makes sense, but I can also see how a mix of processors would actually perhaps fuel more creativity when it comes to problem solving or identifying issues or that kind of thing. That's a really interesting question. I'd be curious to know if there's any research on that. Something for us to use our brains finding more out about. Me and my questions, right? That's right.

Diane M. Simard: 18:34

Lord.

SPEAKER_01: 18:34

That's right. So before we wrap up, we we absolutely must talk about this line from your book. And you know I love doing quote. The greatest communicators and impact leaders understand the value of listening. They open their ears more often than their mouths. End quote. How does being a great listener make you more a more effective communicator?

Diane M. Simard: 19:00

Well, I get this. I I don't focus on sharing what I think the audience should know. I focus on what I believe interests them.

SPEAKER_01: 19:10

Oh, I love it.

Diane M. Simard: 19:11

And and the only way I know that is by listening to either their responses to the questions that I ask or to the questions that they ask me. So, for example, in terms of business, I believe that when effective leaders address their teams, they address topics that impact everyone. It could be about company performance or customer concerns or salary benefits and rumors. But what teams don't want to hear from their leaders is another story about how their leader saved the day 30 years ago in an unpleasant situation that no one cares about. Because we need leaders to save the day today.

SPEAKER_01: 19:53

Yes. Yes, we do. So, so I'm curious then when you listen to your Followers, what kinds of feedback do they give you?

Diane M. Simard: 20:03

Oh, a lot. Which I love, which I love. So here, let me share a couple examples that this actually happened. So, as I've mentioned before, the over the past five years, I've written a monthly blog, but I had so much I wanted to say that it started to get unbearably long, like really long. And it it just went on and on and on. And so one of my readers reached out and she said she loved my stories, but that my blog was getting tough to follow. And I totally agreed with her. And so as a result, I I decided last year to switch it up and instead publish only a 400-word blog every month. And then and then I decided to publish a separate monthly newsletter about what all I'm up to, and then provide resources for cancer and mental health. And as a result of that, and then I include pictures of what our lives are like and rainstorms and pretty flowers, stuff like that. As a result of that switch, the number of followers on my email list doubled after I did that. And it was it was due in part to me listening to their feedback and making this significant change, which wasn't really hard to do. It just feels so much more natural. So I'll have I'll come across a tidbit or a great article and I'll just go put it in my newsletter folder and I'll get I'll get to it later. And it's just a great way for me to just put it where it needs to be when I need it, and I go to it later. So uh, and plus, in addition to making that change, several contacts in my network reached out and um have wanted to write a book. And so they asked me how and where to start and and what goes into, you know, I could never write a book. And so now, thanks to their requests, I'm developing content for that.

SPEAKER_01: 21:49

And I have to say, I'm so excited about that. Uh because I'm the first author that you're working with. Woohoo! I know, yippee. Uh, we're documenting and refining your coaching process. And I am so, so grateful about that. And for the listeners, uh, Diane is coaching me through the development of my first book, and it's targeted to release early next year. Um, it's obviously great for me, but it but it's gonna open doors for so many others and working with Diane and expanding their reach and that kind of thing. And I'm just so excited about that. So, in addition to getting help with um with writing their own books, haven't some of your followers reached out to you to ask you to write specific kinds of books?

Diane M. Simard: 22:36

Oh, they have, which is absolutely the ultimate compliment. Yeah, that's yeah. And I've had several requests actually to write a sequel to my first book, The Unlikely Gift of Breast Cancer. And that's on my to-do list. Uh I I hope I plan to do that uh in in honor or in recognition of my 10-year cancer survivor anniversary knock on wood. That'll be two years from now. And it's just people were like, Okay, you told us about your year of cancer. What happened after cancer? I'm like, oh, all kinds of stuff. I love it. I love it. And and I've also been asked to write a book about a book of humor, and which I've started to write, and I cannot wait to get back to it. And because there is some funny, dysfunctional stuff that's happened in my life. And and I again, I have I I may come across as as though I have all these projects that I've started, and I'm actually very cognizant of that. And and I I start them because I have so many ideas and I and I just keep moving all of them forward slowly at a time. But I I will promise to publish one book at a time. But I before all of that, I realized I needed to write a book about healing forward from my emotional pain. And again, those are it's based on my 10 life principles, so that my readers will hopefully be able to better understand who and why I am who I am. And I and I have to tell you, it's just been such a great experience to define my life principles. And in addition, because I'm doing a lot more public speaking to business audience, having a book about healing forward to accompany a potential speech generates a whole lot more interest.

SPEAKER_01: 24:14

Oh, I'm sure it does. And and I'm I'm assuming someone's already asked you to share the process of how you arrived at those principles, haven't they?

Diane M. Simard: 24:24

Yeah, they absolutely have. And so once the book is out, I'll have downloadable resources available on my website, which is DianMSMR.com, that explains my process and and lays some groundwork for anyone who wants to define their life principles, which is so, so important.

SPEAKER_01: 24:40

Oh, I think that's fantastic. And to just kind of summarize what we've talked about, you know, you analyze and understand the source of information, which I just love. You exercise your mind every day and you strive to listen more than you speak. That's a trifecta, if you ask me.

Diane M. Simard: 24:58

Well, thank you so much for that. And very well stated. I I see people, even if I can only hear them, and I seek out the authenticity of their souls and the warmness of their hearts. And I remember, Amy, the first time that that we met on the podcast, I think on your encourage project podcast, we just clicked. It was just so natural. And I can tell I have that sixth sense now. And if someone's authentic and loving and impactful, they're the ones I want to be part of my life. And everyone else, well, I'm also saying I'm very guarded. And and it's become very healthy for me. And sometimes it doesn't click, and that's okay. And I I just tactfully say, you know, I really I appreciate everything you're doing, but I just look at things differently, or my world is over here, and it's okay. I wish you all the best. And I I I'm honest about that now. Feels really good.

SPEAKER_01: 25:57

Oh, I bet it feels good. Okay, so one more question. Listening more than we speak uh can be really challenging for many of us when we feel unseen or undervalued or unheard. And I see it all the time, you know, people interrupting one another, stepping on each other's sentences, that kind of thing. What is a a trick or a tip you could share to help people avoid trampling on others while they're speaking?

Diane M. Simard: 26:29

It is a a habit. I was gonna say a bad habit. It's a it's it's just something I you watch even national public figures and speakers, they do it all the time. And to when you watch debates, it's ridiculous because 10 people are talking at once. It's so stupid. And so, and so I I just advise to just sit there and bite your tongue. Literally, I have made myself the inside of my mouth bleed sometimes. Like I wanted to jump in and just say, shut up. But when the time finally comes, oftentimes this is a killer, but it sends a great signal. I'll say something that has nothing to do with what they just pontificated for the last 10 minutes about. And and and that may seem cruel and overkill, but I am not rewarding that I don't want to acknowledge the fact that they just uh again wasted everybody's time going on and on and on. And and so then that's like the ultimate slam and it's horrible, but that's the me. That's the beauty of middle age, right?

SPEAKER_01: 27:39

Yes, it is.

Diane M. Simard: 27:40

I and and and I just don't, and I guess the bottom line is I'm not being intentionally rude rude, I'm just not acknowledging what they just said because I love it. I don't maybe not agree with it, but there's just more important stuff to talk about.

SPEAKER_01: 27:55

I agree. There's so many more important things to talk about. And I love that you said not acknowledging. I think my observation is that when people trample on others um while they're speaking, it's because they can't wait to to acknowledge to your point and conflict with whatever something the person said or or refute or debate or one up, one-upping is the one that that that drives me baddie. But I love that you just said, just just don't respond. Let's do something different. I'm sure, I'm sure that shocks the crap out of people.

Diane M. Simard: 28:31

I uh it it it's and that's part of my it's not messy. I always joke that I'm messing with people, but I just it's like they're not even there. And and and a lot of this is a result of me learning more about behaviors, which again I highly encourage. You talked about today about the different way we process information. Same thing with how people communicate. And and there are just some things that you can do to get somebody to just stop and to be quiet. And the first one is to just not even acknowledge them. I love it. It's just a little trick that I've learned over the years. So love it. Love it, love it. Well, before we go, please take the opportunity to share with our listeners how they can reach out to you because you're so smart and and and how to learn more about your work and especially your work with the Encourage Project.

SPEAKER_01: 29:22

Oh, thank you so much. You can find all things, the encourage project at the encourageproject.com. And as I've mentioned in in the previous episodes, we're doing some upgrades and things. So if you can't find what you're looking for, you have additional questions, you can reach out to me directly via email at hello at the encourageproject.com.

Diane M. Simard: 29:41

And it let me just say, it is such important healing and growth work that you're doing. It's phenomenal. Thank you. Phenomenal. And as for me, please go to my website and sign up for my free monthly newsletter called the Unlikely Gifts Insider that comes to your email inbox on the second Sunday morning of each month. And it also provides information about mental health resources for cancer, upcoming events, status of my books, and the people and projects that inspire me. And when you sign up for my newsletter, you'll also receive my monthly blog called Middle Age Moxie, where I share my observations about life in middle age, which is a hoot, by the way. And and then there's always Facebook and LinkedIn. You can find me either of those places. But the best way is, of course, to sign up on my website, which is DianeMSMR.com.

SPEAKER_01: 30:26

And y'all, if you are not following Diane on social, you are totally missing out. I'm just gonna say that.

Diane M. Simard: 30:34

Thank you. I'm so grateful to have you as part of the Unlikely Gifts podcast. Any final words of wisdom?

SPEAKER_01: 30:39

Absolutely. Here we go. As you get ready to move on with your day, take a moment to reflect. Get curious. What's something you can do to create a better understanding in your life? And then before the end of the day, take some action. Do just one thing that boosts your brain. Maybe you take a new route home. Maybe you try a new fitness class or play a game with a friend. You might just discover something super joyful. Oh, that's so sweet.

Diane M. Simard: 31:11

Great, great, great advice. You truly are a gift in my life. Thank you, thank you. In closing, please remember to nurture your mental health and your physical health. And don't ever forget, there is an unlikely gift in every circumstance. I'm Diane M. Simard, and this is the Unlikely Gifts Podcast.