Perpetually Learn

The Unlikely Gifts Podcast presents the fifth episode of its special-edition series of 10 podcasts called Monday Afternoon Club with Diane & Amy. 

Host Diane M. Simard is joined by co-host Amy Fairchild, a professional singer, life/success coach, and project manager consultant to discuss the fifth chapter in Diane's new book about healing forward from life's emotional scars. 

In this episode, titled Perpetually Learn, Diane and Amy discuss their diverse ranges of interests and how one of Diane's most effective habits has expanded her network of contacts. 

Other topics of discussion:

• Amy's infinite curiosity
• How Diane developed and feeds her learning habits
• How to start conversations with someone you don't know
• Diane's "brilliantly profound" conversation with her medical oncologist
• Tips on how to become a better learner
• The importance of filling our brains with new information

Diane's Links
Personal website
Facebook
LinkedIn (personal)
LinkedIn (Unlikely Gift Productions)
Diane's book

Larry's Links
Larry's Sorta Fun Stories podcast
Collage Travel Radio
LinkedIn

Amy's Links
The Encourage Project website
The Encourage Project podcast
LinkedIn

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hi, and welcome to the Unlikely Gifts Podcast. I'm producer and editor Larry King, and it's my honor to introduce co-hosts Diane M. Stimard and Amy Fairchild on this episode of the special 10 editions called The Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. Relax and enjoy the fun as these two firecrackers chat about the principles that keep them both grounded and share the amusing, memorable events they both insist really did happen. So now, here, let's bring on the stars of the show. Here's Diane and Amy.

Diane M. Simard: 0:45

Hey there! Welcome back to episode 13 of the Unlikely Gifts Podcast's special edition Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. I'm Diane M. Samard, and with me is my multi-talented co-host, Amy Fairchild.

SPEAKER_01: 0:59

Hello, hello. I have to tell you, this is the highlight of my Monday, aside from the fact that I absolutely adore and admire you. Um I love the stories you've shared so far, and I cannot wait to hear what goodness and wisdom you have to share today.

Diane M. Simard: 1:14

I right back at you. And and you're the only person I know, Amy, besides me, who has such a diverse range of interests and passions. Yours vary from project management in the business world to being a professional singer, to being a certified life and success coach. I'm gonna ask a question that listeners will be hearing a lot in this episode. Why is that? In your case, I'm curious as to why the fascinatingly wide range of passions and projects.

SPEAKER_01: 1:46

Oh, it this kind of stuff makes me so happy. Um, I am infinitely curious, is how I would describe myself. I had a super diverse family influence as a kid. Um in my family, there are doctors and carpenters and professors and farmers and military people, even politicians. We don't talk about that very often. Plus, I fell in love with reading early on. And so I just developed this thirst, if you will, to learn and and try just about anything.

Diane M. Simard: 2:19

So uh I'm curious, what's the theme or the thread that kind of pulls everything together that it is you do?

SPEAKER_01: 2:26

It's it's it's funny actually. It's what my grandpa would have called a twofer. Two for the price of one. Um, curiosity is free, first and foremost. And and secondly, curiosity does not equal commitment. I I love to follow the trail of something that I'm interested in until I've satisfied that curiosity and then I change directions. And it's just been really, really fun and interesting.

Diane M. Simard: 2:53

Ah, so cool. Well, hey, get this. We've already reached the halfway point of I know uh of our special series of 10 podcasts that we're calling Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. And we're discussing the the 10 life principles that are the basis of my next book, which has a working title of Heal Forward and Break Free from Emotional Pain. And it's a brief read about how leaders heal forward past significant traumas in their lives. I asked Amy to co-host with me because not only is she funny, crazy, amazing, she gets me. And what I mean by that is she understands my passion for impact projects and the importance of squeezing every ounce of living out of every day.

SPEAKER_01: 3:35

Oh my gosh, 100% yes. And I have to say, Diane, your passion and drive inspire me to keep that focus really on getting every ounce from a day. You know, it's so easy to get caught up in the swirl of worry and what if. And I know when I focus on today, this moment, I feel so much more centered, more creative, um, more vibrant. But as you and I have talked, I've learned you weren't always that way, were you?

Diane M. Simard: 4:05

Uh, no, not at all. And and those who know me know that my life was forever changed when I was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer back in 2015. And since then, I've been weeding out the activities that take and take and don't fill my cup in return. I'm sure you can relate to that. Oh, yeah. And and I guess you could say the same about some in my network of contacts, too. So I'm I'm curious, what's your take on the significance of surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are and understand the process of reciprocation?

SPEAKER_01: 4:38

Oh gosh. You know, first and foremost, I agree with you. You can't give something that you don't have. And and I do believe that we each have a finite amount of energy to share. And when we are really great stewards of that energy, you know, investing where it's either multiplied forward or it's returned back to us. We're actually operating most efficiently and with ease. And and frankly, we're our most effective when we do that.

Diane M. Simard: 5:06

Yeah, that's that that's great. And it's so, so true. And hey, we're just a few minutes in, and already I've asked you like a thousand questions. And this should not come as a surprise, but today's topic is all about perpetually learning, which for me starts with being uber inquisitive. It's like I can't ever stop asking questions.

SPEAKER_01: 5:27

I love that. That's one of the things I love about you. And that's what makes you and your next book so compelling. You know, asking questions is human and it's really healthy. And I would say that it's fun. And since this is Monday Afternoon Club, my fun question is this what is in your beverage glass today?

Diane M. Simard: 5:47

Well, today it's wild sweet orange herbal iced tea. Ooh, decaf per doctor's orders, of course. And I drink this stuff year-round. I discovered it about a year ago. And I drink it over ice in the summer and hot in the winter months. And it is so, so good. Slightly, naturally citrusy, sweet, and and but calmingly refreshing. How about you?

SPEAKER_01: 6:10

I love that. Uh, for me, it's it's hot black coffee, which sounds probably really boring, but it's kind of rainy here in northwest Arkansas today, and it's the perfect complement to a rainy day.

Diane M. Simard: 6:22

I love it. Love it, love it.

SPEAKER_01: 6:25

So uh we've talked about our beverage, we're all settled in. Now we get to talk about chapter five of your next book. And the title of that chapter is another of your business and life principles, which is perpetually learn. Now, my first question is, were you born a sponge when it comes to learning? Or did that that habit or that trait grow with you?

Diane M. Simard: 6:50

Well, my my brain has always been on. I I've always been one of those who observes and listens, and I park any memorable data points in my memory vault. And I've always been curious since I was a little girl, asking questions and and always trying to get interesting people to talk.

SPEAKER_01: 7:11

So where I come from, interesting might have an interesting connotation. What exactly do you mean by interesting people?

Diane M. Simard: 7:21

Okay, so I'm busted on that. You got me. Well, well, not everyone is great at dialogue. And some talk for the sake of talking to demonstrate how much they know or how smart they think they are. And I know that sounds judgmental on my part, but I've seen it. So that's just me being honest. And and they're the ones who have an opinion about everything, and they purposely initiate a point-counterpoint debate at every turn. Yeah. And I understand that it's just exhausting to me and kind of frightens me a little bit. And even though they may not be intentionally overcompensating for something or even anything, that's that's my impression of them. That's how I interpret them.

SPEAKER_01: 8:01

Wow. And and these are your words. You communicate in questions and you call that one of your most effective habits. Is it because it forces others to respond?

Diane M. Simard: 8:14

Well, yeah, it it usually works, but not always. And and because not everyone wants to talk to me or really to anyone for that matter. And and mainly I ask questions because it's just a great way to start a conversation with someone that I don't know. Either that or I give them a genuine compliment and then I launch into a barrage of questions.

SPEAKER_01: 8:33

So you're kind of like an attorney.

Diane M. Simard: 8:35

Yeah, yeah. I seriously, I I don't I really don't have any ulterior motives. I just I just prefer to see where a conversation goes naturally. And I think you and I could go for three, four, five hours if we weren't limited here. Because those those free-flowing conversations, they're way much more fun. And I think they provide the most interesting stories, not to mention connections.

SPEAKER_01: 8:59

And and I know you're naturally curious and inquisitive. You know, during the cancer treatment, you mentioned that your oncologist actually asked you to stop asking all the questions. And and then she said something you called brilliantly profound.

Diane M. Simard: 9:15

What was that? Oh, it it stopped me in my tracks. So I was just babbling, babbling, babbling, babbling. She just held up her hand, she goes, Diane, stop. She said, Sometimes there just aren't answers in life. And she said, especially during an experience like cancer. And she was so right. And then and then she said, You need to stop overthinking cancer and just focus on healing. And again, I just I was speechless. I absolutely could not say anything at that point. And it was one of the most profound things anyone ever told me, and one of the few times anyone ever said something that just I was just couldn't move. I was, it was just shocking.

unknown: 9:58

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 9:59

So wow. I I mean, right now I'm struggling with words, to be honest with you. Uh there is so much truth in what she said.

Diane M. Simard: 10:08

There, there, there is, and and I'm curious, again, uh pulling and drawing into your areas of expertise. Why do you think it is that we insist on having answers to all of life's questions?

SPEAKER_01: 10:21

It's uh it's a really interesting question. I think it's because as humans, we're wired to seek stillness and calm. Yeah, we we naturally gravitate to the familiar and uh unanswered questions create uncertainty, obviously, and they can create agitation and worry and even fear, as as was likely the case for you, I suspect, if we let them.

Diane M. Simard: 10:48

Yeah, absolutely. And I just need answers, I need data, I need just I need truths, and this should come as no shock, but in addition to all of that, I admit this is really creepy, weird, but I find comfort. It makes me be at peace and feel balanced when I keep lists and and stay organized. And on top of that, I'm also really fascinated by history. Of course, events that have already happened, I find comfort in that and um predictions about the future, not so much. And because that's just I it's a guessing game, right? Who nobody really knows. And I exist in the real world of data and facts and numbers and knowns as the opposed to the unknowns. And um, entertainment-wise, like I I love movies and historical biographies about those impact leaders that we talk a lot about here who move the needle of history in a positive direction.

SPEAKER_01: 11:48

Oh, yeah. You have talked about that a couple of times. And I know you love best practices.

Diane M. Simard: 11:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:54

And and I I bet you enjoy learning about what made people such great thought leaders. You know, like you probably want to know what did they eat for breakfast, what their childhoods were like, and what they studied in college, right?

Diane M. Simard: 12:06

Yeah, I I find those weird data points so intriguing because I'm so curious about what makes them who they are and what their life is really like, because they're wicked smart, obviously, but it's those little I want to know the things that make them human.

SPEAKER_01: 12:24

Oh, sure. It well, explain how that trait ties back to being a perpetual learner. So so you talked about this in our last podcast, and I suspect one of the reasons being a perpetual learner is a foundational principle for you is because of your background in journalism. Um, tell us a little bit about how that training shaped you.

Diane M. Simard: 12:44

Yeah, so I I actually wanted that public relations degree that you could do anything with, and I didn't want to be tied down and limited in my options. Uh and I knew where I wanted to go to college, but they only offered the PR degree within their journalism department. So I said, okay, I can do this. Um that probably is not the worst thing for me to learn, right? And so I was trained in what we used to call hard news. And um back then in the late 80s, when I was in college, you had to check your sources three times, read back direct quotes to those people that you were interviewing, could only write the facts, and I could not, could not, could not instill my opinion.

SPEAKER_01: 13:26

Oh, so that had to have been a struggle, but but I'll even take that a step further. I bet what you referred to as rigid training to be a news journalist actually helped you grow your inquisitive nature. I mean, you rarely accept anything anyone says at face value. You've said that. You press them for more details.

Diane M. Simard: 13:44

I I do, and I know it can be exhausting, right? But but it's effective. And and honestly, it's how I uncover some of the best stories I share. And and sometimes I warn people that I'm about to go all heraldo on you.

SPEAKER_01: 13:59

Well, before you go heraldo on me, um, it sounds like that's a good place for us to start wrapping up. Um, how about you share your best advice for those interested in learning how to become better learners?

Diane M. Simard: 14:12

Wow, that's so good. Now, this is not for everyone, but my husband Renee and I have been known to pause the movie to look up what other movies a certain actor was in. And then in addition to, are they still even alive? And I say that because we watch a lot of old movies. So our most often looked up question during a movie is again, whether an actor is still alive, what other movies they were in. And I just love this time of middle age because I just feel so so inquisitive. And and so my other tips include these, and and that is to pay more attention and make a conscious effort to become more curious about the things that interest you. And that is really how I amped up my curiosity streak. So um I'm intrigued by World War II history because our country came together and made significant sacrifices, both on the home front and on the war fronts all over the world. And and World War II really was a tipping point in terms of our country's involvement and impact on the world stage. It everything really did change after that. And then uh I also challenge you to write down, just think of five interesting public figures that you'd like to know more about, but you never took the time to look them up. And uh I just did this a few weeks ago when I actually Googled a columnist in the Wall Street Journal that you know that I read faithfully. And I read um a column she had written that really intrigued me. So I looked her up and I found her on LinkedIn and I sent her a LinkedIn connection request. And now I'm actually on her list for potential story content. She um a lot of writers and columnists do this now, is they'll just send out to their email list and say, Have you had an experience in this? And I'm looking for someone to interview about such and such. And so that's that's really cool. And you feel really um, and she has used a few of my comments before. And then uh something else I do for what I call twisted fun is I write down questions that I want to look up later, such as um significant world events that happened the year I tend turned 10. Oh wow. And yeah, and uh what were the 10 most popular songs this week in 1992? Just weird, bizarre, trivia stuff. And then and then one day, and I was writing on something, a column or a story. I I needed to find out what day of the week I was born. And it and as it turns out, it was on a Wednesday. At 3 30 in the morning, September 1st, 1965. Wow and and I'm always all day long, especially when I'm out having lunches or meeting people, I'm always putting notes in my phone. And so once a month I go to the notes and I just do a download. And and and then I always spend like 30 minutes just researching the stuff that I wrote down that I wanted to look into later. So again, it's just it's a fun and intriguing way for me because I believe so important. It's uh we must keep filling our brains with new information that that really is critical.

SPEAKER_01: 17:18

Totally. And and the things that you mentioned are great ideas. I hadn't even thought of some of those. You know, um, in your book, you write that your formal education is what actually motivated you to perpetually learn, but your real world experience is what taught you the value of common sense and really learning to ask why.

Diane M. Simard: 17:38

It's a quirky thing about me, I know, but I actually learned more about a person or a topic by asking someone why they responded a certain way as opposed to what it was that they actually said. And boy, you want to talk about catching people off guard. That's that's a question. And um, so I'm gonna do this to you right now, put you on the spot. Okay. Uh so in one of our recent episodes, uh, you said something that really, really resonated with me. You said wanting to fix people comes from a place of fear, and I found that so interesting. And it was right in the midst of our episode about striving for peace and balance. And I love what you said, but I'm just curious what has happened in your life to say something so profound like that.

SPEAKER_01: 18:29

It's um that is an interesting question, and it does put me on the spot. And and and I like it actually. It's I never considered it. My response that fixing people comes from a place of fear comes from interestingly, my dating experience. Well, I know. I found you're welcome. You're welcome. Sorry. No, you're great. It's a shocker. But I found that I was dating a certain type of person who was not a person I intentionally wanted to be with. And what I found is I was fixing them because what I was really looking at were the things in them that needed fixing in me. Whoa. And I was afraid of looking at myself and fixing me. So I thought I could fix other people because surely I couldn't be broken, right? Right, right. And so when I figured out that I was the common thread and I was the thing that needed to be fixing, I resolved that fear. And so I date very different people now than I used to date. And it's and it's wonderful and lovely. But but that's why I said that wanting to fix others comes from a place of fear.

Diane M. Simard: 19:38

Wow. Gosh, I I am I remember I was so in love with this guy. This was way before I met my current husband, as I always say, the good one. I was gonna say he is a good one. And and um this guy, I was just so obsessed. He was in law enforcement and this macho macho guy, and over the course Of the five months we were together, he put on 50 pounds. Oh my gosh. And and I just it's like I felt like I was bringing out the worst in him. And and I I joked that I like ruined another man. And I I didn't know I just didn't know what was happening. And he was in a dark, dark place. I I know he had some issues and some things that he hadn't dealt with, but I I just felt so horrible uh about and he was miserable. He just was miserable and and um started drinking a lot and all these things. And I and I just as I typically do, we've talked about this. I just thought it was all my fault. And and that's why I joked that I had ruined another one. But but it it is just when when you have this nature, and we keep going back to this time and again, that we're fixers and and just wanting to help other people find themselves. And I always said uh in my dating experience, I was always trying to just mold someone into the perfect man. And and it really wasn't until I met Rene that it's like, gosh, you're just I love you for who you are, and he brings out the best of me that had never happened before, and so once I finally stopped just trying to accommodate who I was to make it fit and make it work, and I could just be myself. Oh, there's just nothing like it. And yes, those those who find that type of love in their lives, it's it is just so precious, such a precious thing. But again, back to what I was um hammering you about being being driven by fear, that is a powerful, powerful factor. And and so let's dig a little bit deeper. Uh, we've got a little time left. And and so, what is it about the the the human nature that makes us fear fear so much?

SPEAKER_01: 21:55

I don't know what makes us fear fear, but but I I have an understanding that everything we experience comes from one of two places, either fear or love. All emotion uh comes from either fear or love. Envy comes from fear of not being seen as good enough. Um uh condescension comes from fear of not being thought smart enough. And so things like joy and compassion, those things obviously come from love. The things that come from fear are not always as obvious. And so it's um it's it's fascinating to me that that when I became at least aware that everything I feel comes from either fear or love, uh, it was incredibly empowering. And I think if people, if I could encourage people to do one thing, it would be just get curious about where is my feeling coming from? What am I fearful of, or what am I trying to spread love about? And um, it'd be interesting to see how people react to that.

Diane M. Simard: 23:00

Well, I'm gonna start doing that. I mean, you talk about too not contradictory because I don't think there's positive or negative emotions. I did think that for a long time, but but it really is kind of what you just said recognizing what is driving this. Where is this like spike of adrenaline coming from? Is it because I love this person so much or I'm afraid of this person? And and that it it all goes back to getting to know yourself better and understanding what your triggers are. And that's really I think that's really the heart of what we're exploring in in this special series. So thank you for um indulging me and going off on that tangent. And I lobbed a couple of grenades your way, but as usual, you handled it with grace and elegant. Thank you. So it was fun. I like it. Thank you. Well, and and I just have so much enjoyed this chat, like I always do. But before we go, would you please share information about your work and what all you do, including a course uh with your encourage project, and of course, how listeners can get in touch with you.

SPEAKER_01: 24:01

Oh, I would love to. Thank you. Um, folks can check out what we're doing at the encourage project by going to the encourageproject.com. And we're going through an evolution, so you may not find exactly what you're looking for there yet. And if you don't, send us a note to hello at the encourage project.com. Or if you just want to say hi, send us a note to hello anyway. We'd love to hear from you.

Diane M. Simard: 24:21

Fantastic. She is the best. The the best. Well, I look forward to our next Monday afternoon gathering. But in the meantime, you can always keep in touch by signing up for my free monthly newsletter and blog at my website, DianeMSMR.com, or following me on LinkedIn and Facebook. And to my dear sweet friend Amy Fairchild, I am so grateful to have you as part of the Unlikely Gifts podcast. Any parting thoughts?

SPEAKER_01: 24:48

Yes. First and foremost, I love our time together. I look forward to Mondays now, which makes me happy. And I do have a final thought. So as you wind up this episode and get on with your day, I encourage you to spend a few minutes in reflection. What's one thing you'd like to learn more about? Maybe it's learning a new language or starting a business or learning how to make vegan brownies, which I'm learning how to make this week.

Diane M. Simard: 25:14

Wow.

SPEAKER_01: 25:15

I know it's crazy, but we'll see how they turn out. Um, and then after you spent a little time in reflection, get curious. Um, then take some action before the end of the day. Take one action, just one, towards learning a little bit more about that topic. Get curious.

Diane M. Simard: 25:31

Ugh, what a gift you are. I mean, seriously. And I can't forget to say thanks to our amazing Larry King for all he does for us. So, in closing, please remember to nurture your mental health and your physical health. And don't ever forget, there is an unlikely gift in every circumstance. I'm Diane M. Simard, and this is the Unlikely Gifts podcast.