Celebrate Differences

The Unlikely Gifts Podcast brings you the seventh episode of its special-edition series of 10 podcasts called Monday Afternoon Club with Diane & Amy. 

Host Diane M. Simard is joined by co-host Amy Fairchild, a professional singer, life/success coach, and project manager consultant to discuss the seventh chapter, titled Celebrate Differences, in Diane's new book, titled Heal Forward: Transform Emotional Scars into Impact.

In this episode, Diane and Amy have a powerful chat about whether we've gotten so wrapped up in themselves due to social media that we've forgotten how to take care of one another. 

Other topics of discussion:

• What took Diane five decades to understand?
• Why middle age can be so liberating
• A-ha moments
• The essence of who Diane is
• How Amy balances her creative side with her professional side

Diane's Links
Personal website
Facebook
LinkedIn (personal)
LinkedIn (Unlikely Gift Productions)
Diane's book

Larry's Links
Larry's Sorta Fun Stories podcast
Collage Travel Radio
LinkedIn

Amy's Links
The Encourage Project website
The Encourage Project podcast
LinkedIn

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hi, and welcome to the Unlikely Gifts Podcast. I'm producer and editor Larry King, and it's my honor to introduce co-hosts Diane M. Samard and Amy Fairchild on this episode of the special 10 editions called the Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. Relax and enjoy the fun as these two firecrackers chat about the principles that keep them both grounded and share the amusing, memorable events they both insist really did happen. So now, here, let's bring on the stars of the show. Here's Diane and Amy.

Diane M. Simard: 0:45

Well, welcome back to episode 15 of the Unlikely Gifts Podcast. I'm Diane M. Simard, and most of you know me as the breast cancer survivor storyteller who advocates for more attention and resources for those impacted by the trauma of cancer. It is such an honor for me to introduce my co-host for this special edition series. Have you ever met someone you'd never met before, but you immediately clicked, Well, Amy Fairchild had that impact on me. She's a project management consultant, a professional public speaker, and a certified life and success coach. Plus, she's a professional musician with her own podcast, The Encourage Project. So, how are you doing today, my friend?

SPEAKER_02: 1:27

Oh, I'm doing so great. I'm so happy to see you. I get to spend time with the beverage and one of my favorite people and talk about super cool things. What could be better on a Monday?

Diane M. Simard: 1:36

There you go. There you go. Well, I'm having a blast on these episodes of the Monday Afternoon Club, where we're discussing my next book about how impact leaders heal forward to overcome their adversities. Now, Amy, you're definitely one of my favorite impact leaders because you bring unity and healing to so many around the globe through your Encourage project. Would you please tell us more about your project, including the inspiration behind the concept?

SPEAKER_02: 2:01

Thank you so much. You know, the um the encourage project really is all about getting curious. It's about exploring possibility and helping people create lives they love one project at a time. And for me, I believe that the bridge between idea and action is built with encouragement. And what has evolved into what is now called the Encourage Project actually started when I was 19 years old. And I decided every day for the rest of my life, I was going to edify three people sincerely, wholeheartedly, and joyfully. And that habit has grown into a mission to create one billion encouraging impressions in my lifetime.

Diane M. Simard: 2:45

Wow. I mean, like, are you are you counting? That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02: 2:49

I wish I could count. I wish I could, but thank you. I wish I could.

Diane M. Simard: 2:52

Oh my gosh. Wow. That I have goosebumps. Well, there's so many good people like you in the world who strive to lift others up and and help them unearth their their undiscovered likely gifts. And sometimes I need a good, strong jolt of affirmational confidence, and she provides that to me when I need it most. And I am so grateful to you for that. So thank you. And uh perhaps you're as curious as I am, though. Have we gotten so wrapped up in ourselves and the need to be adored on social media that we've forgotten how to be supportive of each other?

SPEAKER_02: 3:26

You know, it's it's such an interesting question. And and I I might actually say it slightly differently, to be honest. I think it's I think it's because we have evolved from needing to support and rely on each other, you know, thanks to the industrial revolution, frankly. Many people feel isolated and unsupported. And so they they turn to social media to get that, to get that adoration, even if it is actually artificial. You know, and that in turn has created these social divides where we actually do not support each other. It's it's the craziest thing. In my view, it's a beast we've created, and and we keep feeding it for sure.

Diane M. Simard: 4:05

Yeah, to me, it is so fascinating. And I continue to learn more from you as we co-host this special series of podcasts to introduce the 10 life principles about which my next book is based. And the working title is Heal Forward and Break Free from Emotional Pain, and it's scheduled to be released in the fall of 2023. So in this episode, we're gonna be discussing one of the principles that only took me get this, 50 years to embrace. And that is the need to celebrate my dis differences. And I was gonna say my bizarre differences, but just my differences.

SPEAKER_02: 4:39

See, I've been waiting to dive into this one. I'm so, so excited. I cannot wait to see what this conversation takes us. But I have to be the voice of reason. So, in the tradition of Monday Afternoon Club, before we begin, what's in your glass this afternoon?

Diane M. Simard: 4:53

Well, since we're discuss discussing differences, I'm I'm sipping on a different kind of drink. I've always said I'm Starbucks worst nightmare because I drink decaf coffee per doctor's orders due to the heart disease that runs on my family. So I'm having Starbucks House Blend Decaf coffee because it's like 98 degrees outside, and I like to drink hot coffee on a summer day. Yes, I'm bizarre. So, how about you? What's your drink of choice?

SPEAKER_02: 5:20

Oh, you are definitely some kind of different. Uh, today I have gone full Southern Girl. I am drinking homemade sweet iced tea.

Diane M. Simard: 5:29

Oh, yum. There you go. There you go. Well, we've covered a lot of my foundational principles so far in this podcast series. Everything from healing, from emotional scars to healing and learning to appreciate challenges. Today, let's dive into something I mentioned earlier that took me only five decades to understand. And that is I need to embrace my differences.

SPEAKER_02: 5:51

Yeah, this is such a timely topic. It seems like everywhere we turn today, we see yet another example of how a problem could easily be solved, or at least less impactful, if if people embraced differences rather than pointed them out. And I was actually kind of surprised to see this topic in the book because I had this idea that you've been like super confident, super focused from the day you were born. But that's not quite right, is it? Were were you insecure growing up?

Diane M. Simard: 6:23

I think I was. Yeah, that sounds really yeah, I think so. Um really honestly, what was missing was a strong parent encouraging me to explore life's possibilities and to be more adventurous. So, as we've discussed, my father had late onset PTSD from the Korean War. So as I started to hit my preteen years, he had little to do with me. And then my mother had her hands full with keeping our family together as a cohesive unit because we were a blended family. And so I turned to overachieving to feel my self-worth and played the piano for hours and I maxed out my 4-H projects, and I tried to get straight A's in school. And as a result of all that, I was trying so hard, but I was most insecure about not fitting into my family of origin. And my three siblings had a different father, and my own father, after he got home from the uh from the hospital for depression, which we found out later was PTSD likely, uh, he he just wanted nothing to do with any of us. So at the time I felt like his behavior was my fault. Like he got sick because of me, and because I came along into this blended family, and I just upset the apple card. I could was convinced it was my fault. And and I I guess you could say it was more of a feeling of emptiness that I just didn't fit in, that I didn't belong.

SPEAKER_02: 7:53

Oh, I I can't even imagine particularly as a little person feeling that way. Man, you know what one of the things I found interesting in this chapter about celebrating differences was that you mentioned several times that people have approached you because they think the way you do things is all wrong.

Diane M. Simard: 8:12

Yeah, that's that's bizarre. And and it's happened to me several times, especially recently. Well, what's happened? So, in one case, someone I didn't know very well, but who knows of my work and my project-based work now. She asked me to have a Zoom meeting to talk to me about my messaging and and my branding. So, in the spirit of being collaborative, I said, okay, sure, absolutely happy to talk about that. And once we got started on the video call, she commenced to tell me how I was doing everything wrong. And she implied that I had no clue what I was doing. And I I I tell you, I was I really was truly offended. And I wasn't hurt as much as I was offended. And then she suggested that I could hire her or her great coach to fix everything I was doing wrong. And I and I thought, wow, is this the new way of selling or something? It it blew me away. I didn't I really didn't know what to think or do. I I just we we ended the call and I was in shock.

SPEAKER_02: 9:15

She clearly had no idea who she was dealing with, number one. But that's just that just my skin crawled as you were saying that. I mean, that's what I would call like uh sales hijacking or something. Yeah, let me go find your problem. And oh, by the way, let me fix it for you. Ew, that's just so gross.

Diane M. Simard: 9:32

And and and honestly, I I tried to really kind of pontificate and and learn something from it, and I eventually came to the conclusion that I am different. I do, I do things my own way, which is not necessarily the most efficient or smart or cost effective, but it's what I'm comfortable with and it and it works for me. And I celebrate the fact that I've gotten to a point where I really I really am not trying to please everybody anymore. And that was a huge, huge step for me. And so honestly, I don't strive to wear the latest clothes or hairstyles or listen to what everyone else is listening to or watching because I'm notoriously 20 years behind on television shows. But that's because I've been so busy the last 20 years. I Sierra, I've just been working so hard, and and so now I just I just do what feels right for me.

SPEAKER_02: 10:27

Oh my gosh, you make it sound so easy and it's so perfect.

Diane M. Simard: 10:31

Uh shouldn't everyone want to be that way? I I sure would think so, but um apparently not. And but there's something very liberating about middle age, and I I honestly have never felt this empowered before. And it's I I know it's all because I decided to embrace and not run away from my differences.

SPEAKER_02: 10:53

It's it what's really interesting about that is that you had a similar epiphany in your first book, The Unlikely Gift of Breast Cancer. So take us back to that scene and describe what happened there.

Diane M. Simard: 11:05

I would love to. And and I will actually, I'm gonna read you a passage, but I'm gonna set up the scene first. So I was about halfway through chemo, and the first four infusions of chemo were the worst. They were the two vicious, vicious drugs that make your hair fall out, and I was just so, so sick. And so I had lunch with my good friend Cheryl, and she had a family member who had been through breast cancer too. And so we were at lunch, and I just I would not stop complaining about how lousy I felt. And I I kept saying over and over, cancer doesn't own me. I'm ready to stop talking about cancer, but but I kept talking about it. And and she's like, she's one of these wise people. And so she finally just she said, Stop, Diana, I have to stop you right there because you're getting so worked up. She said, start living your life again as if you don't even have cancer. And uh I I finally shut up, and she's just one of these wise people that doesn't need to say much, but when she does, like, how it hit you. So, so there I I actually uh was was able to work that day, and so I was driving back to work in my sports car, which was, by the way, my divorce gift to myself, and I was on the south side of Centennial Airport, and all of a sudden I realized I was in a car race with three other sports cars, and um, we were there, three testosterone-infused men and me, the middle-aged woman with breast cancer. And I had this breakthrough moment of understanding. And this has happened very rarely in my life. And and here's where I'll start reading this passage from my book. As I drove around the perimeter of Centennial Airport on my way back to the office, I continued to bask in my moment of euphoria thanks to my drag racing colleagues. Tears of gratitude continue to flow down my cheeks. And then I received an epiphany, another unexpected thought from my guardian angel, who said, It's time to stop being an honest but whiny contemplator who wonders why she doesn't fit in. Your differences are something to be celebrated and shared with the world in a book about you and your differences and how your experience with breast cancer is encouraging you to embrace those differences.

SPEAKER_01: 13:34

Heck yeah. I I have goosebumps. That is so powerful.

Diane M. Simard: 13:40

Oh well, that that moment when we were in this car race together, and and we weren't driving fast, we were just taunting one another. But that was the moment I realized I needed to change and let go of feeling that I needed to conform and I needed and I wanted to live my life on my own terms and accepting that not everyone was gonna understand me. And you know, I'd always assumed that most people had their aha moments much earlier in life. And uh there I was almost ready to turn 50 and waiting and wanting for more signs of like, do you need to go in this direction? And this was definitely one of those moments. And and so I'm curious, would you say from your life coaching experience, that's likely true, or or does it depend on the individual? In other words, do most people have these kind of aha moments earlier in life or throughout their life? What what what do you know about that?

SPEAKER_02: 14:41

I I I don't know. I'd be interested to know if anyone has ever studied that, actually. But but in my in my limited experience, comparatively speaking, I I would say it really depends on the individual. And and it's I have to tell you, to witness someone experience one of those moments or to witness someone um creating one of those breakthroughs for themselves is is uh truly an honor. And and I think it's a gift. You talk about unlikely gifts. I think what a gift that you've had more than one of those in your lifetime. But you've had some really big ones, but yeah.

Diane M. Simard: 15:17

It they're just so powerful and unexpected. And it's always when I'm in these moments of irony of what's the likelihood that three men and me would would gang up on each other like that. And and we were co we were like a cohesive unit, just kind of racing. And and it was this it was a special moment, like a one of those God gift things. We weren't breaking any rules, thankfully. We weren't being jerks, and it was like, wow, this is this is one of those. I'm gonna go home and tell my buddies about this or talk about this the next time we're having beers. It's just it's just one of those things that happen that you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_02: 15:56

What I visualize in my head, and I've read the passage, what I visualize in my head every time is it's almost like a commercial. I could see that being a commercial for like, I don't even know, a women's vitamin supplement, or I don't, I don't know. But that's like the coolest commercial idea. I think I think you need to explore that as one of the projects.

Diane M. Simard: 16:15

I thank you. I I honestly, because I thought about doing a book trailer at one point, and I was gonna start with that. And because I talk about in the book about, you know, I I had um puffy feet. My feet were really because of all the steroids to survive chemo. And so I I described in the book that I I uh I pressed my puffy ankle down with red painted toenails and you know, screamed something at the top of my lungs. And and I just was like, I am so glad I'm alive. And and that was really that moment of euphoria, and oh, thank you, God, for letting me experience this moment. I needed this shot in the arm, first of all, to shut me up, and then secondly, to say, how cool is this? You're the only woman here once again, and you're part of the game, and it was so symbolic. I was like, okay, I get it. I got it, I finally got it. If if it had been four women racing in their sports cars, what would that have been like? It just it just was it was just that really great aha moment. I'll never ever forget it. I'm so grateful.

SPEAKER_02: 17:27

I love that so much. I love that so much. And what I love in addition to that is you end this chapter by declaring your intentions to change course and celebrate your differences. Then you declare the essence of who you are, and this is oh, I love this. Who you are is original, clear, trustworthy, intentional, value-driven, reliable, quirky. That's one of my favorites, resilient and relentless. I love the last one. It is so, so obviously important for you to declare your intentions and proclaim to the world who you are, which I absolutely love. And those declarations are part of your heel forward strategy, aren't they? Aren't they?

Diane M. Simard: 18:15

Yeah, uh, absolutely. And I did complete a lot of personality questionnaires and self-assessments to arrive at that list, but I just I was ending that chapter and I just boom, boom, boom. I just I said, I need to declare this right now. And I don't know if you've ever had uh an opportunity to to to make a list or declare intentions of any kind, but you know it's right when you go back. And I look at that, and it was so great to hear you recite those because I'm like, check, check, check, check. It just feels right. And I agreed, I wanted relentless last because of this newfound determination and this quest for living that I'm on, to just absolutely squeeze every ounce of living out of every day. So I needed to make that list before I could move forward with clarity and intention. And one of my messages that I encourage with this book is is to encourage anyone who's struggling with who they are or maybe uh insecure or or or having similar challenges to what I was until I had my time with in the car race. And and that is to just if you don't know, and and it is a process to figure it out, but it also allows you to to declare those intentions, to be very clear, clear who you are, and then to live that day by day. And and by the way, who I am now is quite quite different than who I was 30 years ago when I was in my uh late 20s. Sure. And and back then, early in my career, I was a cheerleader, and it was my job to prop. Everybody up. And I just was uh way off the charts on optimism and just not a lot of substance yet. I mean, I had a lot of maturing to do and and aging to do. But now that I found my own voice, I have plans and priorities to bring other impact leaders together just to see how much good we can accomplish together in this world. And uh again, it it's it's what I focus on is this is this drive to identify those people who not just get me, but understand that we are so much more powerful working together as a cohesive unit. And and and we don't compete with one another. We sub we genuinely support one another.

SPEAKER_02: 20:43

Oh my gosh. Amen to that for sure. Totally.

Diane M. Simard: 20:47

So in this uh probably won't come as a shock, but can I ask you another question? So I see you as an artist, um, someone who's professionally trained to express yourself through music and the spoken word. And much of what I do intersects business and relationships and mental health and money and power and and all those other moving parts, and all that requires flexibility and finesse, the ability to communicate and all that. But many artists I know, like you, have a particular feeling or like a message they seek to convey, which is about their individuality and and how it truly shines through. But yet you're also a project manager consultant, which is driven by parameters and schedules and budgets. And I'm curious, how do you how do you balance the creativity on your artistic side with the balance of your project manager side?

SPEAKER_02: 21:39

Wow. What a super interesting question. I don't think I've ever really considered it as balancing. Um I'd say rather that that I view it as um as uh trying to honor all my gifts. You know, you know, if you think about it, music is math. And if you think about project management, it requires creative problem solving. And and and I used to try to keep all of my talents separated, I think. I think I did. And not even mingled, much less balanced. And when I realized that if I let myself bring all of me, all of my talents to each area of my life, I became uh quite frankly, my most authentic, uh, my most creative, my most powerful contributor to the things I pursue. So to kind of answer your question uh succinctly, I don't know that I seek to balance as much as I seek to to aggregate, frankly, and offer everything in aggregate.

Diane M. Simard: 22:50

You know? How interesting. I would not have what you say is so true. Music is is math, notes and numbers, and yes.

SPEAKER_01: 23:00

Wow.

Diane M. Simard: 23:00

Well, there there are so many great ways to nurture our creative side. And I but I I think it's imperative to feed our creativity to keep us from going stale. And oh yeah, yeah, it and it's a big deal for me. And and it's everything from repainting my office, and I I just need to be making these changes to keep my brain going and and to to challenge it.

SPEAKER_02: 23:24

Yes, and and you pointed out perfectly that creativity can be anything, it can be making a meal, it doesn't have to be creating a piece of art or a piece of music or a play or anything, it can be anything. I love that.

Diane M. Simard: 23:36

Yeah, me too. Well, yet again, it this has been a powerful, powerful chat. So if listeners are interested in learning more about you, what's the best way for them to reach out to you?

SPEAKER_02: 23:46

Roll on over to the encourageproject.com. And um, if you don't find exactly what you're looking for there, you have more questions, or you just want to say hello, send an email to hello at the at the encourageproject.com, and I would love to interact with you.

Diane M. Simard: 24:01

She's fabulous. She is fabulous. Well, please join us next time for Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. But in the meantime, you can stay updated on what all I'm up to by signing up for my free monthly newsletter and blog at my website, which is DianaMsimar.com, or follow me on LinkedIn and Facebook. And as always, I'm so grateful to have you, Amy, as part of the Unlikely Gifts podcast. Any parting thoughts?

SPEAKER_02: 24:28

Oh, you know, I was going to say that this has been one of my favorite chats so far, but but honestly, I've loved every single one of them.

Diane M. Simard: 24:36

Me too.

SPEAKER_02: 24:37

So they're all they're all my favorite, like my grandmother used to say, you're all my favorite. So, so as you get ready to get on with your day, um, set aside a few minutes to reflect. What is one thing about you that you can celebrate? And if you think there's nothing, I challenge you to try until you find one thing. And then before the end of the day, I encourage you to celebrate that one thing and celebrate one thing about another human being. Maybe it's complimenting their cooking or maybe it's acknowledging their thoughtfulness. Celebrate one thing about another human being before the end of the day today.

Diane M. Simard: 25:18

Love it, love it. You are a gift. Larry is a gift. I'm standing amongst gifts here. So thank you. Thank you, thank you. In closing, please remember to nurture your mental health and your physical health. And don't ever forget, there's an unlikely gift in every circumstance. I'm Diane M. Simard, and this is the Unlikely Gifts Podcast.