Growth Results from the Journey, Not the Victory

The Unlikely Gifts Podcast brings you the ninth episode of its special-edition series of podcasts called Monday Afternoon Club with Diane & Amy. 

Host Diane M. Simard is joined by co-host Amy Fairchild, a professional singer, life/success coach, and project manager consultant to discuss Diane's ninth life principle, titled Growth Results from the Journey, Not the Victory, in Diane's new book about healing forward from life's emotional scars. 

Topics they discuss include:

• More fan mail!
• Amy's off-roading adventure
• The value of experiencing "the hard stuff"
• Life's most important accomplishments
• Theodore Roosevelt - America's 26th president
• Diane's adventure with the U.S. military, including visits to the Pentagon, the USS Enterprise, and a day with the Navy SEALs

Their on-air chemistry has been described as "clean, middle-age inspirational fun with a wealth of positive, thought-provoking messages that will leave you anxious for more." 

Diane's Links
Personal website
Facebook
LinkedIn (personal)
LinkedIn (Unlikely Gift Productions)
Diane's book

Larry's Links
Larry's Sorta Fun Stories podcast
Collage Travel Radio
LinkedIn

Amy's Links
The Encourage Project website
The Encourage Project podcast
LinkedIn

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Hi, and welcome to the Unlikely Gifts Podcast. I'm producer and editor Larry King, and it's my honor to introduce co-hosts Diane M. Sumard and Amy Fairchild on this episode of the special 10 editions called the Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. Relax and enjoy the fun as these two firecrackers chat about the principles that keep them both grounded and share the amusing, memorable events they both insist really did happen. So now, here, let's bring on the stars of the show. Here's Diane and Amy.

Diane M. Simard: 0:45

Welcome back to episode 17 of the Unlikely Gifts Podcasts, special edition Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. I'm Diane M. Simard, and I'm an author, blogger, breast cancer survivor, and motivational speaker who advocates for more attention and resources for those impacted by the psychological traumas of cancer. I'm joined once again by my co-host, Amy Fairchild, the only person in the whole world who epitomizes the word shine. Amy's a project management consultant, professional public speaker, and a certified life and success coach. Plus, she's a professional musician with her own podcast called The Encourage Project. And now, here she is.

SPEAKER_02: 1:29

Oh, Diane, I'm so excited to be here. I cannot wait to see what we talk about today.

Diane M. Simard: 1:34

Me either. Well, we're nearing the end of our limited run series, but before we get into today's episode, we've got more fan mail. Ooh, I love fan mail.

SPEAKER_02: 1:44

It's the best. So who wrote in this time?

Diane M. Simard: 1:47

Well, those who know my husband Reny's family know that his father, whom we lovingly call Pop, is one of the most amazing, patriotic, loving, and supportive dads a son could have.

SPEAKER_02: 1:59

Oh my gosh. I've actually seen him on Facebook even. He is extraordinary.

Diane M. Simard: 2:04

How old is he now? So he's 91 years young. He still goes to the gym nearly every day. Plus, he's active in Knights of Columbus and BFW and the American Legion. Oh my gosh. He's the only person I've ever met who worked as an engineer at AFCO Techstron without ever even going to engineering school. What? He's truly brilliant, I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_02: 2:29

Oh my gosh. So what did his fan mail say? Okay, here we go.

Diane M. Simard: 2:34

Dear Diane and Amy, I just love listening to the two of you laugh and banter about your observations of life. Our world needs a lot more messages of hope and positivity like what you share. Diane, from the very first time I met you, I knew you were destined to have a big impact on the world, and you're doing that. My question, though, is actually for Amy. You mentioned off-roading in one of the Monday afternoon podcasts, and I've been curious ever since. Amy, would you please tell us more about that? Love Pop. Oh, I love him so much. He's just great.

SPEAKER_02: 3:14

Oh, thanks for asking, Pop. So, real quickly, here's a story. Uh, at the beginning of the year, I bought uh a brand new Bronco Sport, the fun size, not the full size, the smaller one. And I was invited to the Ford, it's called Bronco Off Rodeo. It's this one-day event where Bronco owners get to go to one of three locations in the United States and you drive one of their Broncos. You don't even have to drive your own and get it all dirty and stuff. Wow. And you learn about all the things that the Bronco does. You get to rock crawl and you drive through mud and you have barbecue, and it was phenomenal. It was so fun.

Diane M. Simard: 3:55

Oh my gosh. That's so great. And and that anyone who buys one of these vehicles gets to participate.

SPEAKER_02: 4:01

Yes. Um, if you buy a certain model of the Bronco, you get a free uh admission, and then you can pay to have someone go with you if you want to take a guest. But everything's covered for the day. It was so fun. I I went like on two wheels, I climbed this big boulder. It was it was so fun. It was so fun.

Diane M. Simard: 4:18

Oh, that's that's awesome. And you're welcome, Ford, for that free plug. There you go.

SPEAKER_02: 4:24

Exactly.

Diane M. Simard: 4:25

Oh my. Well, even though we're close to wrapping up our limited run series, the Unlikely Gifts podcast will definitely go on after that. In these test 10 special episodes, we refer to as Monday Afternoon Club with Diane and Amy. We're discussing my next book about how impact leaders heal forward to overcome their adversities. And we've had some amazing conversations, haven't we?

SPEAKER_02: 4:45

Oh my gosh, yes.

Diane M. Simard: 4:47

And I asked Amy to co-host with me because she's so stinking talented and she's intelligent and alert and aware of what makes for great impact leaders, which is a big deal for me. Her emotional intelligence is off the charts, which is why her passion mission, which again is called the Encourage Project, is such a hit. So would you please tell us more, Amy, about who you are and what types of impact you have?

SPEAKER_02: 5:10

Oh my gosh, Diane, thank you so much. You know, you are such an inspiration to me. And I've observed it. You're an incredibly impactful leader, and I'm so grateful we've been on this journey together. As for the Encourage Project, we're all about helping people explore possibility and create lives they love. And I am personally on a mission to make one billion encouraging impressions in my lifetime. One person, one project at a time.

Diane M. Simard: 5:38

Well, you are such a huge gift to all of us in in so many, many ways. And I'm learning more about you every time we have one of these podcast episodes. And you probably don't know this because I haven't ever told you this, but your work with the Encourage Project was one of my inspirations to write this next book, which of course is based on my 10 life principles about how and why impact leaders are able to heal forward from their adversities.

SPEAKER_03: 6:03

Wow. Thank you.

Diane M. Simard: 6:04

You're so welcome. And the working title of my next book is Heal Forward and Break Free from Emotional Pain. And it's scheduled to release in the fall of 2023.

SPEAKER_02: 6:14

Oh my gosh, I cannot wait for people to get their hands on it. Um, what I loved about it most, I think, was that it was a, for me, it was a high impact, quick read. And everything in there was super easy to implement right away. The the chapter we're talking about today is the one though that gave me goosebumps. Um, the chapter is called Growth Results from the Journey, not the Victory. Um, one of my favorite chapters, because it is, at least for me, it is so easy to forget that the journey is really where all that goodness happens. You know, the destination or the victory is the reward.

Diane M. Simard: 6:51

I agree. So eloquently stated. And I chose that as one of my principles simply because I learned way more from losing than winning. I mean, it it I it took me a long time to really accept and understand what that meant. But there is such value in experiencing the hard stuff, of course, although it doesn't often seem like it at the time. And I encourage those listening in to think about your life's most important accomplishments and why do you consider it meaningful? I doubt that it was because it was easy, right? Right. Okay, so let me test it out on you, Amy. What would you say is your most significant accomplishment in your entire lifetime and why is it significant?

SPEAKER_02: 7:36

Holy smokes. Um, I would say that honestly, starting the Encourage project has been the most significant accomplishment so far. I I mean I had to tear down who I was in my previous life, if you will, as a corporate heavy hitter. Um, I had to had to release all the programming and all the conditioning and all the external value I had associated with my worth, you know, things like titles and visibility and all that stuff. And I really had to rediscover what I value, who I am, and what I want to contribute in this lifetime. And it was it was a big process. And essentially, I learned that I define my worth. And thus far, that's been the biggest thing that I've done.

Diane M. Simard: 8:27

And it reinforces the basis, the premise really of everything that I'm doing as well, which is you have to figure out who you are and why you are first before you can start to spread your message. And I love what you said about sometimes that requires kind of getting broken down so you can build yourself back up again. And um, yeah, I just I just am so I'm so grateful that we met because we not just because we think alike, but because we believe in this process.

SPEAKER_02: 8:54

And that's oh my gosh, yeah.

Diane M. Simard: 8:56

And and so remind me again, I know you told me once, but how long have you been doing the Encourage project?

SPEAKER_02: 9:02

Uh as an as an entity, four years. Okay. The um the whole process started a long, long, long time ago, but as a formal entity, only about four years. Yeah.

Diane M. Simard: 9:11

Well, it's it's fabulous. Uh absolutely encourage everyone I meet to look into what Amy is doing, and and she is such a gift and has so much to offer. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 9:20

I appreciate that. You know, um, we've been talking about adversity, and it makes me think of this wonderful quote. I'm a big quote person, and it was by Theodore Roosevelt. If you don't know who he was, he was one of our presidents here in the United States. I think it was 25 or 26, I don't know. But he said, nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, or difficulty. And he's and he went on to say further, he said, you know, I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. Wow. That just hit me, you know.

Diane M. Simard: 9:52

Oh well, I I love it, first of all. And and so let's chew on that a bit. Uh, I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. Don't you just there's just such truth in that.

SPEAKER_02: 10:06

Yes.

Diane M. Simard: 10:07

So so um, time for a quick history lesson while we're on this topic. So Teddy Roosevelt was definitely a wise and scrappy president who prioritized conservation and established our national parks and forests and monuments to preserve our country's natural resources.

SPEAKER_02: 10:23

Yep.

Diane M. Simard: 10:24

Of course, he was president in the early 1900s. But get this in terms of foreign policy, he focused on of all things Central America, where he began construction of the Panama Canal, which is so critical to how goods and supplies get shipped around the world. And you want to talk about vision, right? That would certainly be yeah, one. So speaking of, in the spirit of greatness, what's it your beverage of choice on this fine day?

SPEAKER_02: 10:50

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot. Uh today I'm actually on total chill mode. I had a ridiculously hectic morning. My yard blew up and there was water gushing everywhere.

Diane M. Simard: 11:01

Oops, oops. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02: 11:03

So I'm relaxing with some lovely iced chamomile tea with honey. Yummy. What about you?

Diane M. Simard: 11:10

Well, today it's plain water with ice, which sounds boring, but it's perhaps the most absolute necessity of life. And I felt like getting back into the basics in the spirit of us talking about Teddy Roosevelt.

SPEAKER_02: 11:23

That sounds like that is totally on point. So now that we're all hydrated and ready to go, let's get to the book. Um, early in this chapter of Heal Forward and Break Free from Emotional Pain, you share how you recently completed several personality assessments. I I have found those to be super insightful. What did you learn?

Diane M. Simard: 11:46

A lot. And I mean, I was shocked. And and it turns out I'm not nearly as much of a chirpy promoter destined to prop up everyone else. I know I've talked about that a lot on these episodes, but I'm actually I've evolved into a leader who's curious and innovated, resilient, and of all things fearless about change. That really surprised me. And and when I read this part of my assessment, my blood pressure spiked because the observation was so true. So get this when I'm awake, and sometimes even when I dream, I endlessly think of ways to make things better. And and as you know, if I don't have a suggested solution, I know how to quickly find one. But here's one thing I didn't realize, but and it's so true. I no longer have emotional attachments to negative things that happened in my past. Thank you, Lord. Wow. And and trust me, that was not always the case.

SPEAKER_02: 12:44

Oh my gosh. So that's probably the reason why a part of your book title is Break Free from Emotional Pain, right?

Diane M. Simard: 12:50

Yep, yep, it is.

SPEAKER_02: 12:51

Well, I I agree that the assessment was absolutely spot on. Uh and and I know you well enough to know that your mind never stops.

Diane M. Simard: 12:59

Oh my gosh. So my husband Rainy often reminds me of that. He once heard a comedian explain that men, unlike women, are not able to exist in more than one box or topic at a time. So when I jump from topic to topic, Rainy often reminds me that he's still hanging out in the last box we talked about. And I've learned to let him know when I'm switching to a different subject.

SPEAKER_02: 13:23

It makes me laugh because my mom is the same way. And we've talked about how we communicate so differently. I'm actually more like Raini, to be honest.

SPEAKER_03: 13:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 13:33

And my mom and I have had to actually outline, if you will, our communication rules of engagement, you know, to help us avoid frustration and misunderstanding. Um were you surprised at how the tests showed you have evolved over the past 30 years?

Diane M. Simard: 13:49

Well, I I I absolutely was, but thank you, first of all, for using the word evolved, because that's how I view my life and its journey. And I continue to evolve. But I've learned so much and I've had so many amazing experiences that very few people ever get to do.

SPEAKER_02: 14:05

Oh my gosh, you totally have. Um, and there's tons of them. But tell us about one of your most memorable, amazing experiences.

Diane M. Simard: 14:14

Okay, so oh, here's a good one. So, way back in 2004, I was selected for what's called the Joint Civilian Orientation Conference, which is the US Secretary of Defense, which who was then Donald Donald Rumsfeld. Um the Secretary of Defense handpicks a group of about 50 civilians who get to travel with members of the US military for a week. And I was one of those 50. Can you believe that? What? Yeah, it was so cool. And and and we got to travel with members of all branches of the US military, and we got to meet troops that were stationed and participating in training exercises all over the world. Oh, yeah. I mean, we went everywhere.

SPEAKER_02: 14:55

That must have been incredible.

Diane M. Simard: 14:57

Oh, God, it it truly was. And and um I in fact I need to write a blog series about about this because we're coming up on the 20-year anniversary, and I will definitely do that. And so we met up in Washington, DC, and and we ended up spending a day at the Pentagon, and of course, where the Pentagon was hit on 9-11. And then af that afternoon, uh the Army took us up in Army helicopters and they flew us over the National Mall in Washington, DC. And in fact, we were the first civilian group to get to do that after 9-11. Wow. Um, because they had not cleared the airspace. And so this was three years after 9-11.

SPEAKER_03: 15:36

Wow.

Diane M. Simard: 15:36

And then after that, we boarded an Air Force C-17 cargo plane at Andrews Air Force Base, which is where the president always flies out of. And then we flew all night to Ramstein, Germany.

unknown: 15:48

Oh my gosh.

Diane M. Simard: 15:49

And then after that day uh in Ramstein, we flew on our C-17 to Bosnia to participate in foot patrols with the U.S. Army guardsmen and women from Indiana. And then we flew to Baku, Azerbaijan to spend the day observing U.S. Navy SEALs training with Azeri Special Forces. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02: 16:11

Navy SEALs. I don't think all I wanted to do was like sing in the USO when I was younger.

Diane M. Simard: 16:17

It just it's incredible to talk about this now because the SEALs were so cool. Of course, we could not take pictures of them for understandable security reasons, but they took us out on their, they call them rigid inflatable boats or ribs. Um, and and then we we did donuts, you know, go around really fast in circles. We did that on the Caspian Sea, and then get this, they let us shoot their M4 weapons at watermelons as target practice. And and I need to find those pictures. Um, because I remember one of the SEALs walking up to me and reminding me, he said, he goes, ma'am, the target's over here. Oh my gosh, I was so embarrassed. I really was. But and then after that, on our final full day of that week, we flew to Rota, Spain, and and then we were flown out to the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier on what's called a carrier onboard delivery or COD aircraft that they also jokingly call the tube of shame. And and those are the little airplanes that they fly out with food and mail and stuff. Yeah. And then we did a tail hook landing on the USS Enterprise. Holy cow! What did that feel like? Um, well, I wasn't very bright then, which was I was in my late 30s, and and several of us had kind of broken to the sangria because we were in Spain the night before. So I I wasn't feeling very well. And the jet fuel was just the the fumes were just killing me because this COD airplane that we flew on, they had the back tail thingy flipped open and all these jet fumes were, and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna lose it. But I held it together, and so we got we were flying out to the Enterprise. Um, and when we landed, I didn't even think about this. But what you come to an immediate stop, you know, when the tail hook grabs, they call it the resting gear cable on the deck of of the Enterprise, and um my my stomach just stopped, and then like the I felt like the rest of me went off the edge of the aircraft carrier, but I I still kept it together. But um get this the the the carrier they flew us to the USS Enterprise, it was our military's first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, and it was where the carrier scenes from the first Top Gun movie were filmed.

SPEAKER_02: 18:36

Oh my gosh, Top Gun is one of my faves. And the new Top Gun was just as amazing. Oh my gosh. It was um so I'm assuming you got to spend a day on the aircraft carrier. Tell us about that.

Diane M. Simard: 18:47

Oh my gosh. So sensory overload, as if we hadn't had enough already, and and it was just by that time I was so exhausted. But um, so we they took us all over the enterprise, which has like multiple levels, and they call it well, it's out of commission now, but it was called the Big E back when it was in service. And one of the coolest highlights, one of the coolest things we got to do was to eat lunch with the sailors and talk to them. And they just said, pick any sailor, sit and have lunch with them, and they were so nice. I mean, and the food was great, and it was it was just so amazing to ask them about what life was like living on the ship, you know, for months and years at a time. But then after that, they took us up to the flight deck, and we got to watch a training exercise where all those operators, you know, they have the different colored clothes on. They launched every, I swear, every aircraft that was on board that carrier. They launched it, and that includes the F-18 jet fighters.

SPEAKER_03: 19:43

Oh my gosh.

Diane M. Simard: 19:44

And and and then they performed an air show just for us. Oh my gosh. And and they didn't tell us this, but then an F 18 went like screaming across um right over us, and he broke the sound barrier. And I like Had never seen anything fly so fast. It was amazing. And the little poof of smoke. Oh, it's so cool. And I was passing out because it was just slow. But but I was freaked out because once our day on the Enterprise was done, we had to get back on the COD aircraft and we had to prepare to do a catapult launch off the Enterprise. And it was the ultimate adrenaline rush. And we had to literally, because we were seated backwards, which I hate anyway. We had to put our feet up on the back of the seat in front of us because you take off so fast that they said people have smashed their faces into this back of the seat in front of them. And oh my gosh. I was so scared. I was praying. I was like doing yoga. And and I just didn't think I was going to survive. But I had to put that was one of the things I had to, had to had to do it. And it's incredible.

SPEAKER_02: 20:50

Oh my gosh. But here's what's even more incredible. All of that was in just one week of your life. I know. I mean, that's a lifetime in gosh, it it really was.

Diane M. Simard: 21:00

And very few people get, I mean, nobody in the military, I've done stuff. Rainey, who was in the military almost 30 years, never got to do. Oh my gosh. I've been on aircraft area. Um, it's just really cool. But so to your point though, um, that same year, 2004, my ex-husband, um, he actually sold the company that I worked at and that I had helped him to save. He had started it, but many, many of us worked so hard to save that company. And then a short time after the company sold, we separated, and then we got divorced the next year.

SPEAKER_02: 21:34

Oh my gosh, talk about ebb and flow, you know. Yeah, the the highs and lows of life. Um, as you say, you say a lot, you know, we grow from experiencing, not necessarily winning.

Diane M. Simard: 21:45

Yeah, I think winning can be overrated, quite honestly. And it's great to be recognized, but I believe we gain strength and confidence and wisdom from preparing for the race. And and no gold medals or trophies can come close to the value you create for yourself from the process of preparation.

SPEAKER_02: 22:05

So what does it really boil down to?

Diane M. Simard: 22:09

Uh, you got to do the work. And and and I believe impact leaders like you who understand how to heal forward from their traumas get that. But to have an impact to heal, to achieve peace, to reach whatever goal you set, you must be committed to putting in the hours or the days or the weeks or the months or the years of work. And then it's not over, right? Because if you want to stay at the top of your game, your work's perpetual. It and it never ends, and you don't want it to ever end.

SPEAKER_02: 22:40

True.

Diane M. Simard: 22:41

Okay, I'm pretty fired up from telling that story. But but I'd like to hear your thoughts about how growth results from the journey and not the victory.

SPEAKER_02: 22:48

Oh my gosh. You know, there's very little I can say after that story. But one of the things that I think often gets overlooked when we talk about growth, you know, growth in skills and experiences and knowledge. I think one of the things that gets overlooked is growth of character. You know, learning to enjoy the journey really gives us an opportunity to cultivate patience and to cultivate calm. And and honestly, to cultivate faith in ourselves. Right. And and the way I look at it, victory is the confirmation or the validation of, like you said, the payoff of all the investment and all the work in ourselves. Yeah. You know?

Diane M. Simard: 23:31

Yeah. Uh it's so great to look at it that way. And and I know I've we've talked about this before, but what when I talk about leadership and the tough stuff, right? If it's overcoming adversity or the long time it takes to meet a goal, yes, it's I I don't view that, I don't dread it anymore. I don't think that um four months of eating healthy is a punishment. It's just something I want to do because I feel so much better. And I and I just view and value it differently. And um, I know um our producer Larry has been through, you know, a period of focusing on his health and well-being too. And there's a reason we we do this, but but we don't talk about, well, thank goodness it's over now. I can go back to the life I had. It yeah, you want to you want to weave that into your everyday life, these good habits, if you will. And it's just it's just changing your life, it's reprogramming your brain. We've talked a lot about mental health as well. And and and it's the positivity. I just want that feeling. It's like this high that I want, I want that all the time.

SPEAKER_02: 24:38

Oh, I totally agree with you. I totally agree with you. So so if you had to pick one, what would you say has been the biggest benefit of you recognizing the value of the ongoing growth process?

Diane M. Simard: 24:54

Yeah. Uh I'd have to say it's the the realization and the acceptance and the maturity that I I believe with all the confidence I have that I'm finally ready to lead from the front and ready to stop propping everybody else up and stop cleaning up everybody else's messes. Because I finally found my voice and I have a trove of unlikely gifts I've only begun to celebrate.

SPEAKER_02: 25:21

Yeah, you do.

Diane M. Simard: 25:22

Oh, thank you. And and you, and and how about you? What's your biggest benefit of recognizing the value of your life's ongoing growth process?

SPEAKER_02: 25:30

Oh, for me, it's it's similar. It's absolutely knowing my worth. I mean, I know what I offer, I know what I'm capable of, I know what I deserve. And that was a really hard word for me to say for a long time. Yeah. But I know what I deserve as a result of that investment. That's that's the biggest thing for me.

Diane M. Simard: 25:48

Yeah. And you so deserve it. And not just deserving it, but you're giving it back, you're paying it forward, you're recognizing that um we all benefit and gain from sharing and encouraging. And you do that. You you thank you, you lift us up. Um, it's not superficial, it's a genuine. You're you're so believable, you're so human. And I just I just adore that about you.

SPEAKER_02: 26:14

It's why we're such good friends. No, she's so awesome.

Diane M. Simard: 26:18

Well, thank you so much for your time and input. Um, please join us next time for our final episode in this series of Monday Afternoon Club. And in the meantime, stay updated on what all I'm up to by signing up for my free monthly newsletter and blog at my website, DianeMsimar.com, or follow me on LinkedIn and Facebook. And if you'd like to send me a message, go to the contact tab on my website. And as always, I am so grateful to have Amy as part of the Unlikely Gifts podcast. Do you have any parting thoughts?

SPEAKER_02: 26:48

Yes, yes. First, thank you so much for inviting me on this journey. So you are a light, and I am so grateful for you. And for our listeners, as you get ready to move on with your day, I'd like you to invest just five minutes in reflection. How long? Well, five minutes, but how can you look at your current journey a little differently? Uh, to discover the lessons you might learn. And before the end of today, I'd like you to take just one action that stretches you and it helps you grow. Maybe it's a new route home, or or maybe it's reading an article about something you'd like to learn. Just invest one action in growth before the end of the day.

Diane M. Simard: 27:30

What fantastic words of advice. Seriously. I mean, we're worth it. You're worth it. I'm worth it. Larry's worth it. You're all worth it. And so thank you for sharing that. Well, in closing, please remember to nurture your mental health and your physical health. And don't ever forget there is an unlikely gift in every circumstance. I'm Diane M. Simard, and this is the Unlikely Gifts podcast.