Unshod with D. Firth Griffith
Conversation about relearning the kinship worldview with author, horse-drawn woodwright, and renowned storyteller, D. Firth Griffith. Unshod is a podcast and community that believes to rebel, we must pause, that we live with Earth as Earthlings, that we must approach creativity, curiosity, and compassion in conversation.… but we must approach this ground UNSHOD. This has nothing to do with "saving the world." It has everything to do with leaving the right kind of tracts in the mud.
Unshod with D. Firth Griffith
Becoming the Medicine and Embracing the Darkness of Art with Indigenous Ibaloi Singer-Songwriter, Joydah Mae
Join us as we sit down with my dear friend and powerful musician, Joydah Mae, who shares her intimate journey of transformation and self-reclamation, weaving together themes of creativity, vulnerability, and authenticity: of becoming the medicine.
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The conversation explores the concept of being medicine and the importance of embracing darkness and uncertainty. Joydah shares her experience of releasing an album and the self-doubt and insecurity that comes with it. We discuss the sacredness of ceremony and the need for authenticity in spiritual practices both in our hearts and around us in community and culture.
The conversation also touches on the significance of darkness in indigenous, traditional, and ancient cultures and the importance of embracing the cycles of the life: from the moon to the seasons to our own creative journies. Overall, the conversation emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and honoring one's own gifts and path.
This conversation dives deep into the emotional rollercoaster of releasing personal art into the world. We unpack the complexities of creative vulnerability, touching on insecurities, comparisons, and the inevitable search for validation. We also delve into the empowering concept of "You are Medicine," emphasizing the importance of nurturing oneself amidst external pressures.
Joydah's website HERE.
All things You Are Medicine HERE.
Listen to Joydah's Music HERE and HERE.
Watch Joydah's YouTube HERE and Instagram HERE.
Buy Daniel's latest book HERE.
Joydah Mae is a gifted artist with a powerful voice. Walking the pathway of truth through her music. Her songs stem from deep personal experiences and an intimate relationship with nature and the divine. As a channel she chooses to speak up for the voiceless, for humanity and for the earth. She continues to remind us of who we are, through her dedication to leaving love everywhere.
And you have a candle. That's always my remembering. I didn't have any technology until I was 13, 14, because the way of life there in our village was about just being in a cycle cycle with the earth, with the moon, with the sun, and returning it back to yourself, because, at the end of the day, you're going to be the medicine for the earth too, because you're part of the compost. So there's so many ways I can go to this well, it's, it's.
D Firth Griffith:It's a marvelous time to live at this. At this moment, we have the new moon. Last night at about 7 7 30, she rose on on this side. We are diving headlong into autumn. You are diving headlong or rising, with your head held high in spring, and I have really enjoyed listening to you on Instagram with your compost. You posted a couple of videos recently of working with compost and planting seeds and doing these things, and so I want to acknowledge that I've enjoyed living vicariously through you in the birth of a new year.
Joydah Mae:Thank you for the acknowledgement. I also have dropped in a little bit with your kōrero, with the conversations you have with beautiful people that are doing their work out there and giving that space for um, I guess, just a little bit deeper. You know of the depth of what they do and it really helps to understand the synchronicity underneath, underneath, all that just like the earth you know, you don't really know what's going on, but there's a beautiful communication going on underneath it.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, I was, uh. No, I thank you for that. I was listening to your music on Spotify. I don't, um, I don't know, I I maybe I've listened to half Um, and so I also want to thank you for your music. My goodness, I have listened on repeat ever since, uh, our mutual friend Shalita introduced me to it and, um, it's powerful, it's unique, it's, it's like a sunrise, not to be too poetic, um, but like every time I listened to it, it's new, it's, it's like overwhelming in sensory, um, it's not overly produced, it's not um, you know all of this, but I want you to know that, uh, it is very impressive, meaning that it impresses a lot onto at least myself as a listener, and I, and I thank you thank you for that um insight.
Joydah Mae:That recording is specifically it's a gopro nice during, and it was just in our van when I was just moving um, I just had a big shift in my life, uh, and then I took the van, from that shift in relationship wise, and I just met this guy who does GoPro and just still learning about what it is, and just kept videoing me and even those were so raw even all of it was so raw.
Joydah Mae:You can hear the rain. You can hear the rain on the van. That song I Am Enough was part of my reclamation of having a 13-year relationship with someone. And then I, we all, we grew out and then we also found. I found my way back to myself and all that stuff, and so it's like I'm calling myself in and children? Um, we do that with children when they go out and play. You call them back and so.
Joydah Mae:I just found out that this is also part of a, I guess, in a Native American. They find a way to call themselves. It's part of their, it's always been part of their, I guess, knowing to call yourself back. And growing up in the village, my grandmother always says call yourself back from the river, call yourself back from where you come from, because you leave parts of yourself everywhere, with people as well, energetically, constantly exchanging energy. And when you're young and you get taught that, I forgot all about that and I started to remember it and that was the song. I remember, my that's that my voice, the voice of my grandmother saying call yourself back. And I saw my inner child coming back to me, that is infinite.
Joydah Mae:I appreciate you, I appreciate that I feel like one of the things that is alive in me, which is, um, the process of, of an album about to be released. At the same time, the acknowledgement of the path going towards that album is I'm in this, like in this place of uncertainty, you know. I think to acknowledge that there is a part where you, where I, go in and I feel scared, I feel that I'm not enough. You know, it's funny, sometimes you sing about it and you feel good and then it goes back. It's like a constant work within yourself. So I'm, I'm digging into myself, forth again, over and over. And what am I doing with that? To come back to myself, to give my time for myself, the present moment. So I think the acknowledgement of, like, really being honest with where I'm at emotionally and, um, and what the moon is, is allowing me to feel in this in this new moon, like you said, and it really I, really I'm feeling it a
Joydah Mae:lot Um, really, I really I'm feeling it a lot um, and I'd like to be in joyful moment on instagram, but I also want to be real and say I feel like shit right now and I don't really feel like going out there and promoting and that's not even what I do. I do what I just share what feels that you know, just just remembering of people of like I go through this too, like, like you do, like, like you know we have that time. It's like I need this space for myself, for my family, for so, yeah, I think whatever shifted our um, our intention to talk I was also in the same way of like I don't have the capacity and being honest with that and communicating with people that you've, you know, set time with and stuff, and so I do acknowledge that you have, um, you know, put that forward and and I was in the same space, but not really it was just like I'm also in one at the moment.
D Firth Griffith:Well, it's, it's strange, it's.
D Firth Griffith:It seems like you can tell an artist from a want to be artist or a soul masking as an artist inappropriately or forcing their art.
D Firth Griffith:Um, to me, I always feel drawn to the post, like the, the, the launch process, and then the post post launch process when it becomes apparent and and tangible to the world. I feel this, as an author, um great States of like depression, often well up right around the publication of a book, because it's like wait, no, no, no, no, like I live in this little, you know, 10 foot by eight foot, little writing shed most of my days, you know, 10 foot by eight foot, little writing shed most of my days, you know, in my mornings and evenings, when I write and I read and I think and I pray and such. And this is my little world, and right outside of it the sun is setting, you have the Appalachian mountains, the James river flowing and I mean it's just right there, you could touch it, right outside this little window. And it's my own little world and I write probably very similar to you, not in the sense of seclusion, maybe, but in the sense of really heart that lives in the art, be it music or verse like on page.
D Firth Griffith:And then you go to anticipate leaving this place where other people are going to start to hear it or interact with it or read it, and all of a sudden I think I feel and so I guess this is a question back on you how you feel but like I'm not entirely sure, I want people to see my soul writ on paper, like I don't know if I'm ready for that. I wonder is that something similar to how you feel around the um release of this album or maybe in your you know previous recordings and those coming out?
Joydah Mae:yeah it's, it's like I, it's like the moment that we um released it out, this is me and my partner helping me behind the scenes.
Joydah Mae:It was a big high and we're like, okay, cool, it's outside of us, now we can, we can work on other things, and then just like bang went down and I go, oh my God, it's not good enough.
Joydah Mae:I don't know if I want to like, you know, just, and I try to swim and swim up or surrender to it. So the the feeling is like there's I gotta say it's there's insecurity in it that I'm, that I didn't put enough of that thing that I'm supposed to be doing in there. So I listened to it again, you know, it's almost like I went to my mind a little bit more than my heart, and I look at so this is what happens with my mental health when I'm not anchored enough or I feel that I'm in my low state. Look at someone else's work I feel that really strong comparison, that that habit as human and also growing up, there's always that comparison and and that I look at someone's craft and I go, oh my gosh, you know, who am I to put my album out, who am I to do this you know, and so even I'm like searching for someone to tell, me, tell me.
D Firth Griffith:It's okay, you know in my depression mode.
Joydah Mae:I mean, I don't even use the word depression, I just really go in and I don't want to talk to anyone, don't even want to like socialize. So yeah, there is that part of. Quite similarly, I don't want him to know, but at same time I want them to know that I'm going through stuff as well. During this time of like excitement, there's this like oh my gosh what do I do next?
D Firth Griffith:Do you feel like what you're going through in that deep state? I realize that you can go the wrong direction in it, but do you believe that the essence of it is intuitively negative? Or do you feel like this is part of truly sharing, like in a true kinship sense, like truly actually lifting these veils? How do you see through that?
Joydah Mae:I see it as a remembering to be humble, to stay grounded. Anything lower, anything negative for me is like back to earth, come back down, come back down, reground yourself. Sadness for me feels like I need to return to myself again and replenish my own needs, and so I always have this honoring of. This is what's happening. It sucks, and at the same time I go, I'm going to dig deeper because there's water there somewhere, you know, and so that's the water, the spring water that I'm going to drink just before I give up. And so I see it in that way, metaphorically.
Joydah Mae:I see it a lot in my, I guess, my inside, my sacred visions, inside my head or my heart. The process of it can be a little bit tedious, and you know, the process of it can be a little bit tedious. Yeah, you've just got to find that tool that you've been working on or someone gifted to you along the path. There's breath work, there's yoga, there's all these little things that help you remember to come back to your body. So I find it really humbling to keep to be in that space, to be in that. You know. Uh, that work, the work, yeah yeah, well, it, it, um.
D Firth Griffith:I don't know the name of the album, but I see the title and the design, which is glorious the you are medicine all over your digital presence. Can we talk about that, because it it seems like we're playing with that already. You are medicine, like. What does that mean? Where does that come from? How do you understand it? How does that relate to your music and your creative art?
Joydah Mae:you are.
Joydah Mae:Medicine came through to me during a tour in South Island. Even the logo itself was part of. I didn't know what to call this album, because it's been such a journey to even birth it and share it to people. Your medicine for me means the gifts that you've been given to come back on this earth are the ones. That is for you first. It's something that you need for yourself to heal yourself.
Joydah Mae:So for me, in my experience, my voice has always been there for me, even though I've rejected it in so many ways. I didn't know what to do with it. And at the same time, the outside influences doesn't really allow you to use the gifts because you, in some way, you're taught, you were taught and conditioned to do certain things. You know the, the checklist of being in the rat race and I've done all that. And what came to me is it saved me so many times how I wanted to give up in in the process of hard, challenging times. It's the one that saved me over and over again. So it makes me feel full and not even happy, that in that moment of when you're back to yourself, there is a sense of home, no matter what, and using that gift. If I don't use it it'll. It'll probably give me a disease, it'll, you know, the opposite way. So you are.
Joydah Mae:Medicine for me is returning to yourself. There is a genius in you, and not necessarily going and getting a degree or or, um, even perfecting something, the craft I feel like we've, we've been given something to share to this earth realm, but first it's something you need to give back to yourself. You know, right, and at the end of the day, when the electric, electricity is done and there's no, all these things go out, wi-fi, whatever, all the all the ai gets to. You know, beed, at the end of the day, you're with yourself and you have a candle. That's always my remembering.
Joydah Mae:I didn't have any technology until I was 13, 14, because the way of life there in our village was about just being in a cycle. The UR medicine is you're constantly with the cycle, with the earth, with the moon, with the sun, and returning it back to yourself because you're, at the end of the day, you're all. You're going to be the medicine for the earth too, because you're part of the compost. So there's so many ways I can go to this and, like I said, with that, what's alive in me is using that, that gift, the genius in you, the, the thread that you want to, you want to add to the, to the weaving of the new collective that we're working on. Yeah, I guess that's that's what I feel that's coming forward. It is you, it's the same similar thing of you are seeking you.
D Firth Griffith:I think there's a lot of dialogue today about food as medicine, which is obviously an ancient greek, hellenistic phrase um hippocrates or whatever his name was, and, and I think, with that understanding, we find ourselves, our very western-minded selves, um thinking that medicine is something that we can do, we can participate with. Maybe we can foster, uh, nurture, cultivate. We have these very action words, these verbs, right, medicine is a verb. What you're saying, though, is not intention with that, but in compliment, I think it's that maybe medicine is something you are. I mean, you basically said that, right, but it's in the sense of coming home and being there's the medicine. And so it's in the sense of coming home and being there's the medicine, and so it's less doing, more being, maybe. If I had to be unbelievably simplistic, wow, thank you for that.
Joydah Mae:Yes, it's, it's definitely. It's almost like when you are in your very authentic, honest self and you walk it. You walk it without doing absolutely nothing, you're just walking in the supermarket, just in your energy, and someone sees that energy, they smile or they shift. Something happens when you're being yourself, and for me, it took me so long to really embrace all of who I am and walk walk with not even pride, with humility, and to also just absolutely be who I am. And especially this time, I think the illusion is crumbling about trying to be like masking. You know, um, even with your craft, sometimes you just there's a, there's a people-pleasing mask that you probably didn't even know you had it. And so for me, when you walk it, like when.
Joydah Mae:I see you doing the work that you do. Even in, just in this portal, I see a remembering of what our Indigenous people, our people did not just Indigenous us as primal people, you know, and I feel that cool. This reminds me. This morning I was thinking about how I sat with elders before we sacrifice an animal during their ceremony. We sit with the spirit of the animal and we pray, we chant.
Joydah Mae:It starts from 3am until the spirit of the animal. We don't call them shamans, but the elders just sit there for hours and they say it's ready, there's no time, like I for like there's no time. Like I said, there's absolutely no time. And that's when I realized I was in and amongst the ceremony all my life.
Joydah Mae:I just realized that you know and what I see with people doing what ceremony is. Sometimes it gets to. I guess I think there's fakeness in it. Sometimes there's this you know too much of fluffy stuff, but really it's not ceremony for me. Is is hidden. It's sometimes hidden, it's unseen.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, yeah um, a mutual friend of ours that will go named because of the potency of the statement. We can all laugh. We'll laugh together. You know who this is. And, uh, she recently called such people, the fakeness, the people who lead these fake ceremonies Um, oh, uh, what is? Ah, it was there, it's, oh, my gosh, it just left. Maybe I'm not supposed to say it then. Um, uh, witchy white wannabes, I think, is how she said it, which is wonderful. That's right. Yeah, yeah, throw up the.
D Firth Griffith:I mean, it's, it's anyway, yeah, no, I don't know why I shared that with you, but it's, it's worth a laugh it's worth a laugh, yeah yeah, and then it's worth, I think, some tears, um, a lot of them, because I know, like that the ceremony, a dear friend of mine, uh, lakota pipe pipe carrier, so indigenous peoples of the central great plains, turtle island, he talks a lot about hypnosis, that the point of ceremony is hypnosis, not in so any sort of a fairy tale, disney world, hollywood type sense, of course, right, like the hypnosis that you very well know, it's that you bring these images down to a lower brain state and in that lower brain state they become very ocular, you can feel them and taste them and everything that maybe wasn't perceived in like the reality of our life, with the dinging and the bumming and the cars and the sirens and everything else, becomes actually believable. And so it's a very sacred and and and and and wonderful place, but it's also a place that I think reveals you to yourself and maybe to others. And so, going back to this idea of like medicine as something you are versus medicine, that's something you can do, it seems to me like doing medicine is so easy in comparison to being the medicine, and maybe that's why we shy away from it, because in that ceremony, in that sacrifice I've made the comment in the past. Blood and fire. These two realities on earth, I believe, are the only impartial realities.
D Firth Griffith:Like you, you, you can't be half burning and and when you're, when you're around blood or you're around maybe a very serious ceremony like you're describing, regardless of if it's a sacrifice or not, you can't not be there fully. Or maybe if you're doing it wrong, like if you're a wannabe white wizard, witchy, whatever I said, maybe maybe you can do it, but my point is being medicine seems to require all of you and and, and maybe that's why you and I feel the way we do around the publication of that feeling, because it's like it's, it's very serious, where I would much rather just say you know, do some plant medicine over there, pay the whatever and and be done with it. You don't have to actually look at yourself yeah, it's, it's something that I uh feel.
Joydah Mae:When I went home a few months back and there was a tangi, which is a death, and this particular family had a deeper ritual and it required us, who are connected by bloodline, to sit around everything that's coming in, which is usually pigs that get passed. You just sit with that and there's blood, and's fire and there's big pot, there's all these things, and you pray, you pray and normally you're in a state because you pray and you have this uh drink that's been brewing for months. You drink that, then you pray and you sit with this, the, the prayer, and because we believe that the spirit of the animal will go to our ancestors and for our ancestors to uh welcome it as part of the, as part of the ritual up there. So I sat there for half a day and I was in a state and I didn't know how to, I was just there, and so we drink this rice wine that we brew and we go next to the dead, to our ancestor that passed on, and we pray again and we go back to this. It's constant, um, this veil that we keep crossing and you have someone. So this is me being exposed to what goddess people look like in festivals.
Joydah Mae:And then my cousin said, oh the, this lady's coming in to do some more praying and all the things that we do. And she came in, her really rough and small and tiny lady, dark eyes, and I was like, well, not the goddess that I'm usually seeing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And guess what? She didn't want money. Yeah, she won. She just, the exchange usually back home is either rice, sugar, salt. There's no money. You can't not, you're not allowed to even just put it in their pocket. It's not a practice that it's still. It's still happening, and to this day where, um, when you put money on their hands or in their next to them, it it means their gift will be lessened.
Joydah Mae:So, by respect, we honor that we don't do anything, um, that you know, that crosses that threshold of money and being in a spiritual service. So for me, coming from that background, very deeply, I see a lot of the fakes, but at the same time I go, you know, um, if, if there's a harm, of course I'll come in and help with the people that have been harmed when I'm in the present. But at the same time, what? Who am I to stop process the process of someone's path if they have to go through such things in order for them to? I guess there's a lesson in everything. So there's a bit of that. There's a bit of the safety as well aspect of things.
Joydah Mae:When people work with spirit, because it's not just chanting or you know, smokes, it's not just that. It requires a lot of who you are and when you get suspended in that space and you get dropped in, that's another story of integration, you know. So there's so much respect and for me, even I don't want to just do it, you know I have to have my own, I guess, to get permission. Even that, even someone tells me, an elder tells me, I still feel that, okay, am I ready for this thing? So that for me is a lot to hold.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, there's like a sacredness to what you're describing, which you very well know, and I can't get the image out of my mind yeah, there's like a sacredness to what you're describing, which you very well know that and I can't keep get the image out of your, out of my mind, that you've given to us in the very beginning about this, this, this album and the music and and your feelings and the emotions that you've been sitting with and I don't know, I wonder, I wonder their point.
D Firth Griffith:Like you mentioned, who are you to get in somebody else's path? And I guess I'm asking selfishly here, because I've written four books and every time I feel like I go through something similar to what you're going through Just a couple months of just angst and is it really that good Like? Should I have published this book? Should I have spent more time on it? Are people going to like it? Does it even make any sense? These things that I hear you feeling too, but it seems necessary. I can't put words to that why it feels necessary, almost like there's something sacred that's happening that feels a little bit less like it should because it's so much in. Maybe the capitalistic world or social media allows us to see things we shouldn't be able to see Like it. I don't know how do you see this?
Joydah Mae:Is this question making any sense to the people? I see it like there's a path and I'm walking this path, but also there's always other things around me. That's distraction. There's also this part of me that's still in my shadow realm that needed to be acknowledged. So that's how I'm seeing this Like cause. I've been through fire. Literally I've been through fire, lost a lot of my, lost most of my things. All of them actually Went through that that, that lockdown went through all these other things.
D Firth Griffith:That was really it's almost like an initiation of so many things.
Joydah Mae:So during that it feels like I was still holding this medicine on top of all this stuff. I still need to bring this to the people. I'm holding it through fire. I'm making sure that it won't, and that's within myself.
Joydah Mae:And to come out of that it's like, oh my gosh, it's here, we're ready to do it, we finally have a place and a space to do it and bring it forward. And now I'm holding it now, and this path is clear, clearer than it was. And then here it is, walking in the dark, in the woods, all these different portals, but I still need to go through this. Go through all this different, different portals, but I still need to go through this. Go through all this stuff. There's going to be darkness and there's going to be, just like the moon, it'll be. Right now it's in the dark and I'm still walking it and I'm trusting the path.
Joydah Mae:I can't see it. But at the same time, I have all these voices. I have all this inner, um, I guess, my own patterns, my, my own self-sabotaging self, which I needed to look into. At the same time, I can just put the medicine down that I'm going to deliver and look into myself and say what's the matter, what is going on here?
Joydah Mae:Jordan, going back to my, could be my inner child, you know, could could be my part of myself who feels that I didn't, I don't deserve it. You know, things like that and and all the other elements that's happening around my family as well, because that's really huge when I have an elder. I have a grandmother who's um, you know, in in the stage of she's 94 and she's the one that raised me. So that's another. My mind is in the village as well. So there's all this many layers and here I am still holding it, you know.
Joydah Mae:And so, yes, there's the self-worth thing, and then there's also this other elements outside me, who I should be there to take care of my grandmother. I should be back in the village. I should be there and take it to take care of my grandmother. I should be back in the village. I should be doing this. You know, um, I should show up with my son a little bit more, things like that. So I guess the path to it like like, it's not easy, it's not, it's not straightforward. So I see it in that space of um, right now, that you are giving me great insight. That question is right now I'm going through this dark space and it's okay, just keep walking or just rest. You know, and that's part of my work is to rest. Do we rest? Um, I get, I get so guilty if I stay in bed a little bit longer than I should because I feel like I must be doing things. You know, right, there's so many layers.
D Firth Griffith:So I hope I've answered some of that question all of it, all of it, I I'm, I'm drawn to our uh, a story in a life that is very alive to you and is only being reawakened in me. I realized this, but in many ancient cultures, yours being one of them, um, something that is not lost on me is your new years. So the rebirth of the year, it begins in darkness, right. So in in in the ancient cultures, um, that I would come from, our, our, our year begins at what is today celebrated as Halloween. So at the end of the like, at the, at really at the end of autumn, is the new year. So we celebrate the darkness period first and we go through the winter season and at Imbolc, right at the beginning of really turn of the tide into spring, we start to celebrate. You know the first inklings of light. Turn of the tide into spring, we start to celebrate, you know the first inklings of light. And then you know Batania, or fire ceremonies of May, the year is born.
D Firth Griffith:But I think a lot of our, especially our Western, dominant mind, we see it as the other way. Like, birth of the year is like the beginning, it's light, right, but it's actually opposite, like in so many conversations with our mutual friend Shalita. She has talked to me for many hours about, you know, your guys' New Year celebrations with the sisters in the sky and they descend and you wait in the darkness every morning and you say, are they going to rise today? No, okay, cool, not the new year yet. And you look again do they rise today? And so that's that darkness.
D Firth Griffith:Oh, not the new year yet. And you look again do they rise today? And so that's that darkness. So not only do we live in the new moon currently, in this moment, but all of our ancient cultures and your current living and vibrant culture celebrates the new year by first celebrating darkness, and I think that's really important, especially when it comes down. I mean, obviously it's important, but important for this conversation, as we're looking at this idea of medicine being this like innate, living internal genius that, um, you know, creator gives us, the divine gives us, and living in that is the most important thing. Like that doesn't mean that it doesn't begin in darkness I'm just seeing all the images in my head.
Joydah Mae:It's so beautiful. When I learned about the Maramataka here as well, which is the moon cycle, it makes so much sense because my great-grandfather, who did a lot of healing with people, who did a lot of healing with people except he didn't really put it in that way he just gets to, he uses tobacco as medicine back in the village and I used to just watch him all these people coming from different places and he would just do smoking and do some spinning. And all these people coming from different places and you would just do smoking and do some spinning and all this other things. And I always wondered why you do do it in full moon. You know, like all this stuff, like why is it always in that moon? At that time I was young, you know, and um, and then to, to give us some warning when it comes to like there's a certain part of the moon cycle that goes, hey, make sure you go home early today, because it's a village and no, there's no street lights. So once it's dark, it's dark. Or when there's full moon, it's like make sure you. Yeah, there's all these little things that I learned.
Joydah Mae:At the same time, I'm starting to remember as I sink back into the cycles.
Joydah Mae:You know in my own cycle, my menstrual cycle, what it means for it to be in sync with the moon and what it means to me.
Joydah Mae:You know all this stuff and I think about my great-grandfather, how he he used he doesn't know when he was born, all the things like that but he used the moon. He used the moon for the year, uh, and the sun and all that stuff. That's, that's his timeline, and so I feel like I'm very blessed to have a an upbringing, to be in that space, even though I was really young to soak it up. I still go back to it and sit with that self when I can, and look up to him and still listen to what he was saying, even though it was, in my head, gibberish, but he was saying something that is beyond my own understanding. And to go back to that, learning the, the moon and as well as the dark, the dark part, where is the most important part of our cycle, I think? For for us, where there will be no light right and being so peaceful in that space which I I am now coming to.
Joydah Mae:you know, love, I'm ready for the new man.
D Firth Griffith:It's a good point. I think there's this. I think it's so popular to believe that you go through dark times to arise into the new, and it's like something to just get through. Yes, like it's maybe true in some essential form, but the way it's perceived is like you get through the dark times so that you can get to the good times, the light times, the bright time. Yes, and something that I'm constantly reminded of, even in our own lives, because we live very remote, we live in the middle of nowhere. To some very large degree, it's just nature and us, um, and some marvelous animals and other kin yeah but you go through those dark periods and in the second you start.
D Firth Griffith:In my opinion, you know we all do um, regardless if it's the new moon or, uh, an artistic creation that is troubling or not. Whatever it is, we all go through the dark period. Yeah, being okay, there seems to me to be more of the point not getting through it.
Joydah Mae:Yeah, be there.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah.
Joydah Mae:And I've been feeling that to this, this point, for the last two days, three days. I said I'm going to enjoy this part, I'm going to sow some seeds. I'm going to sow some seeds, I'm going to make this stuff, I'm going to look into this, all these things that I it's just in the hindsight most of the time. I said I'm going to enjoy this. I'm going to just be in this mode, like this beautiful space that we enjoy so much on full moon. What about this new moon? This is absolutely healing to just be in it, in, in, in.
Joydah Mae:And so, uh, for someone, for me, who does a lot of holding space and creating space, I'm finding that it is such a, such something that I that I really want to have in my tool is to to say, to look into the word what is the new moon? I'm going to, like, make that space for the. You know, it's my celebration for me, for myself, and how I'm going to put my own intention for that, and so, yeah, it is being there, being in that new moon, being in that dark, which most people, you know, get so uncomfortable with, and for me, I'm learning to. Just well, I'm so happy, like my heart's, in this joy, because what I've been doing lately has been really replenishing my own, my cup, and that's just as simple as turning the compost Right. You know putting little seeds in this and kids coming in and you know I didn't tell them what to do, they just wanted to help. So for me that's part of, uh, what new moon comes in, what new moon medicine brings, is just just being listening. Yeah.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, for us it's interesting with the reverse, the antithesis of the seasons based upon where we are in this fine world. For us it's berry picking. This last couple of days we've had a severe drought here this season, severe drought, one of the worst we've ever seen, and so all of the berries, like the summer berries, are quite late and we have many autumn berries. The landscape, the eco tone around us is is really a berry and flower land like that. I don't know why we don't describe it as such. It's, it's sweet and it's colorful and and it's really nothing else. Um, and so we have all of the late summer berries that were pushed because of the drought, because I had some later summer rain that that really allowed them to mature and emerge, while we also have the autumn berries coming in.
D Firth Griffith:So, like tonight, we were driving around and just harvesting all sorts of summer berries, autumn berries, and I bring this up to say there's this little piece of me, this very modern piece of me, that thought like, oh, I should have brought a bag or a bucket or a pail or a bowl so that we can, like, preserve this for winter.
D Firth Griffith:And and we have three kids, my wife and I, and they're six, five and three, so very young, and uh, and they're just eating, having the you know the damnedest time, and nowhere in their entire psyche or soul are they thinking to themselves we need to preserve this for winter.
D Firth Griffith:You know, we really got to extend ourselves out of this moment and go into winter and all I'm doing is I mean I'm enjoying it a little bit, but I'm thinking winter, yeah, winter is coming, winter is coming. You know, it's the beginning of autumn, it's dark, winter is coming, and but like that, to me that's that's not. It's not the tension, but it's the reawakening point, it's the acknowledgement point of understanding where we sit in this understanding of the darkness, what the darkness brings, what we're supposed to do in the darkness, right, like to plant the seeds, to harvest the berries. Are we doing it for X, y and Z reasons? Are we doing it because in the darkness that's what you do? You know, and it seems to be a large difference between these two things the same result, but with a different heart.
Joydah Mae:The heart seems to matter. I think that, part of who you are, it's a primal instinct to preserve food. For me, it is like for us back home, it was just only two seasons rain and summer, and there's no winter, just raining like monsoon. So my grandmother would usually just plant a lot of kumara, which is sweet potato, and bananas, harvesting bananas. So when it was raining we have all these things that that we were eating, and back then there was no grocery store or there's stores now, but it's not even the same as here in the western world. We just stayed home and that's all we ate.
Joydah Mae:And I feel like that's part of, I guess, the modern tea and also having that, your kids having to just, you know, enjoy the moment which you're witnessing with them and just eating the berries because it's there and it's beautiful and you know it's delicious, and you are as a, as a provider, or you have the instinct you know to like okay, I'm going to make sure that there's enough of this to go through winter and I don't feel like it's fear, I feel like it's just a.
Joydah Mae:It's part of our uh, knowing that it's been passed down because our ancestors have done that. You know, preserve food it's been a way for, and that's something that we are returning to as well, and so I feel like to merge both in this time is to make sure that we're still in that sovereignty of, we can still allow ourselves to enjoy the fruits of the autumn and summer autumn to this time and it it's when you, when you sit with it, the appreciation is so much more. You know the appreciation of that, that dessert that you're going to have with your kids.
Joydah Mae:Remember you were enjoying this last summer, last winter or last autumn and and I feel like, when you see in that that way, it's the light in the, it's the light in that winter, that little berry that you preserve, berries that you preserve as part of the, you know the cycles.
D Firth Griffith:Right, right, right, yeah. Well, it is interesting. We've we've gone full circle in this and now I feel like I have an understanding of what you said in the very beginning. You mentioned these two things that your medicine is for you first, that your home is when you come home to yourself and you come into yourself and you understand that medicine. And then you said that your medicine is also of earth, for earth, so it's for us, but it's also outside of us, and I see that same thing here with the berries it is both for ourselves in the moment, but it's also for earth in a general sense, like as it works out of us. And understanding where those two things need to live to some degree seems to be not the point, as if there's a singular point, but it seems to be the medicine, understanding what is for yourself and what is for others and maybe it's the same thing but understanding when that transposition needs to happen, like when is joida full and and when does joida's medicinal fullness come out, you know, into the world?
Joydah Mae:that's what I'm asking, I guess it's one of those things you see a lot out there as a quote is like you can't give from an empty cup because you, you probably used up your own reserve for yourself and others as well, and so we get into a state that it's not necessarily serving us because it's also not allowing us to grow. Instead, we've sort of gave away a lot of ourselves, because that's just sometimes we're not, we're not aware of how much we need to put a boundary for ourselves. Then it really does this affect your whole being holistically. And so for me, as a, as a giver, being my, I know myself in that sense, being in service is something that I I'm aware that I do a lot, like I put away my stuff now just be in service, and so now I go, I need to be in service for me first so I can show up authentically. There's no like resentment inside me, like trying to eat me inside. So I I feel that that's in a way.
Joydah Mae:I thought about those berries being dropped on the earth as well. As you pick them, you know, because you're communicating with them, you got some of them drop and you go. Okay, it's back to you know, it's for you and it's for me it's like the sharing there's that sharing as well with it, with your kids, touching it and and connecting with that energy of child to the root, back to the roots of that, of that base. I just saw that like that's another communication, in a way of it's time for for us to go in again. And so here we are right. This roots for us to go in again, and so here we are Right. This is for us to share it when we need to and, at the same time, to be in this moment with these children that are just in more connection with them than we are sometimes.
Joydah Mae:No filters, we're just like thinking thinking yes, so yeah, we can go in so many ways to this connection of what medicine is. Sometimes I go. Why am I saying you're a medicine? I have my own little. Why do I keep saying you're a medicine? Because I had to find my own medicine, outside of plant medicine, outside of all these little things. Because once you learn what you can give or what you can give to yourself, there's this, this deep knowledge. You know who you are and you know where you can place yourself at the seat of the table or in the circle.
Joydah Mae:You know, as we all do, and we have that dna. We've sat in the circle. You know, as we all do, and we have that DNA. We've sat in the circle before so many times. And when you know what gifts you bring to that circle, the weaving, the tapestry is a lot stronger and the tapestry that we eventually will look at it in a higher realm. Eventually we'll look at it in a higher realm. We know that we put that golden thread that we've been remembering within ourselves. Here's my thread. I found it somewhere, so that's how I see it.
D Firth Griffith:That thread is that, that medicine, your uniqueness, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's to say something so beautifully simple that, just like it, puts me back, you know, like not in a bad way, in an unbelievably generous and kind way to think that way, to think that the medicine is the genius, it's the gift, it's the golden thread that's woven into this fabric, that, as you come back, you see the thing, you know the beautiful thing, and and you're there, and you're not there because you're there, because you've always been there, it's just it's beautiful yes it's, it's, please go ahead sorry I just saw this like, because once you've, you can see it from the higher realm.
Joydah Mae:It's your children, our children, will be sitting on it and they'll continue that weaving. That's what we're doing. This is not for us, it's for them, it's their own. We're passing something that's been lost for so long and we're passing it on, and you being in the middle of nowhere, but also making this not even a lifestyle. You're going back to the ways, the original ways. You know how nature is telling you. It's constantly communicating with you.
Joydah Mae:I have my own work to do in the middle of matrix. You are working with something else, so there's different parts of ourselves. We're finding our way back in the center and this is why this frequency is getting magnetized. We're talking to each other now because your frequency is similar to our frequency back here in Aotearoa, and the relationship underneath this is the earth. Underneath this, it's sending the same vibration. And so, my brother, I acknowledge you for what you do and for showing up. In whatever state you're in, you still show up and allowing the heart to open.
Joydah Mae:And I feel like it's really important to have this role in the community, because at some point, you know we will leave this earth. This earth and the ones that are going to continue, it is your children, my, my children, dane, chalita, they're going to come back in and go. You're my mama's homie, you know. We've been hanging out because, my gosh, I feel like they've come in with a different tools and and we're giving them the tools to keep going, but also they're going to hone other ways to, uh, you know, um, bring, bring the indigenous way, the, the part that we've been grasping, because we've we've been conditioned to do other things right but to be ourselves, you know, and so I see you with what you do and what Brother Dane's doing and what Chulita's doing. It's sometimes I wonder, and I feel different around my family, you know, because I don't, sometimes they don't know what I'm doing most of the time. So when someone can see you like this, your most authentic self, I guess it helps to keep going.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, there's a strange and marvelous need to see another's genius.
Joydah Mae:Mm-hmm.
D Firth Griffith:Well, that's an interesting thing to think about. You bring some interesting thoughts to this conversation. That's really interesting. It's like I need your genius to be your genius.
Joydah Mae:That's really wonderful yes, when you draw, you can draw one's uniqueness just by being who you are unique, yeah, and I see that with children over and over again. They, they just get it like that and then forget about it because they're playing, they're playing, wow, and that's what's happening. We're bringing out our own genius and this is from the heart and it's very soul-led, and what you guys are going to be doing in the next month is going to be potent. You know you get Chalita coming there and dame, it's going to be potent. I feel you know we need something, I guess an energy that holds a different frequency rather than just festival for me, right, yeah, it's, that's my, because it's getting to summer here and everyone's applying for festivals and for me, I have all these questions in my head at the same time. It's just questions. Right now, I don't need to answer them.
Joydah Mae:you know, and I sit with myself Is this Copapa, is this intention of festival aligned with myself, or I just need to work so I can get money and blah, blah, blah, all these little things you know. So how can I be a difference to this? How can I shift? And sometimes it's there's no answer. You get put into place why you are there even though it's not aligned with you, and you realize, oh okay, I get it, I get it now. So, yeah, it's, there's so many um, I think, yeah, we can get into many portals of of of this conversation, but it is the gift your gifts, my gift. It makes us so alive.
D Firth Griffith:And maybe that's why it's for somebody like me. I think I want to acknowledge that, yeah, feeling that alive is culturally uncomfortable. Another really interesting thought wow, that's really. I was tempted to ask a question and I have decided not to, and it comes to the fore again, which is interesting. I was going to talk a little bit about your views on ceremony and sacredness and these sorts of things in areas of the world like you know, central Virginia where I live, where we don't have that culture, we don't have that village, we don't have this ancestral legacy, memory, etc.
D Firth Griffith:Not omnipresent in our lives? Obviously it is there, it's just not being attended to. I think that's how I want to say that. But now you bring up something very interesting.
D Firth Griffith:It's that being honest, it's that being in that true creative genius, intrinsic medicinal, deep sense. It's very uncomfortable because to some degree it's a little bit like ceremony. It's like this little and I'm holding my fingers up for those who can't see, but it's like infinitesimal in comparison, think. But but the extension, I think, still lives and I think it's still honest. It's like that, that, that honesty, that rawness, that integration of the true self, like the blood, as we were talking about the fire, you can't be half there, you're, you're all in or all out, to some degree that's, that's a, that's a native element of the, of the truly creative act, the honestly creative act like don't get me wrong, you know many artists, I know many authors that are only putting out their art because of what the label wants or what the publisher wants, you know, because it'll sell or whatever.
D Firth Griffith:I do not mean those by the honest artist. What I mean is more you right, your soul, carried in words and rhythm and melody like that to some degree. Is that deep honesty that seems to be required if we're going to have the deep conversations about the threads and the grandchildren and the woven fabric and those sort of things. Does that, does that feel right? Is that close to honest? What do you think?
Joydah Mae:I feel it is necessary to bring your absolute self forward to whether you're in your family the mask is not there, like it's the same same who you are and then, when you are also creating space and holding space, it is still you.
Joydah Mae:You know, there's no facade or there's no well, the word is mask but at the same time, it is the, whether you're in in your personal space, your integrity for your, for yourself, is, is strong. And then when you bring yourself out to people and share your medicine with that, the people and your knowledge, it is still you. And because there's enough, there's enough masking everywhere around you, when you get out into the world and the threat is when you become absolutely you, you're no longer just submitting yourself to energies, to conditioning to you know, you just know if it's intuitively, it is not something that serves you, even in your family. You, just you, can just unhook. Okay, that's not my, this is, it's not my work.
Joydah Mae:Now, I've done, I've done my work here, so I'm allowing this person, person or this thing to unfold itself. So to show up fully in integrity and also to say I've fucked up. At the same time, it's the truest form of of yourself is to allow. There's going to be some mistakes along the way, there's going to be some reviews that will allow you to look at yourself again and say right, I'll take responsibility on that one. And it's so uncomfortable because you know it's part of something that you needed to close out. On this part of the cycle, just like any cycle, there's death, so this part of the cycle is dying.
Joydah Mae:It's going to be part of that cycle. Say thank you, and normally someone will bring that out for you Very, very hard conversation, or you know, very, very hard conversation, or an uh, you know situation that will bring that, that truth, you know, that truth of who you are, and that needs to be aired out and and, um, you find well, from my experience, it takes me a little bit, back up a little bit and go, man, I really messed that up, didn't I? And you also share that to the ones that needed to be communicated with, and it gives them insight to come forward more as well so yeah, being close to honest.
Joydah Mae:Is it's necessary at this time? Yeah, because it's definitely something that people are used to, you know.
D Firth Griffith:I don't like surface talk.
Joydah Mae:I like being honest to you, know what's really happening and saying it aloud, so I'm not in the mood to chit-chat or just need to be on my own right now and it gives it saves all the bullshit around that you know. And yeah, I learned from the kids too. They say no, they say yes, they don't want it or not, and so that again, that part of who we are that's been conditioned to people please, yeah, it's just so like, it's not like straight answer, um, and the hardest part is when you're faced with someone who are actually your closest friend that you don't want to. You know hurt feelings or have that hard talk or make them uncomfortable and I'm still in that as well.
Joydah Mae:I'm not saying that I, I I got that pat down. I still have to find my way to make sure I'm being honest with myself first. The integrity is real.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, integrity. I, um, I interviewed a Omaha and Cherokee man and he used one word and he'll never know this. When I say, listens to this episode, he'll never know this. When I say he listens to this episode, you'll never know how much he impacted me. He was talking about the genocide, more or less, and the removal of the bison to force the indigenous peoples of the plains into reservations, and he had written a book on the subject and so he had spent many years, much time on the podcast, really iterating really well, describing the pain, and he sat back and I'll never forget the moment. He sat back and he said it was not honorable. And I was struck with that word. I would never have used the word honorable, right, it was not good, it was very bad, it was evil, right, I mean, there's tons of words. It was not honorable and I think that whole conversation can be summed up in that one word, or simply, or two words it was not honorable.
D Firth Griffith:I get the same thing from you, right, that honor, that honesty, the integrity like that, that's that integration of the medicine inside that we so lose track of when we're trying to do medicine, create medicine. You know, I think about it agriculturally, because that's, I guess, our context here, our eco tone is as agriculture and food production, and and we want to believe that the way we do certain things is going to force a particular result upon the land, a particular medicine, and, at the same time, all we see in the agricultural sciences, in the botany world and ecology and such, that this is not true, that, as long as we're working in an animate world, you can't force an outcome. I can't force you into a particular state, right, and and maybe I can do that in one sphere of your, of your life, right, your body, you can put your body in into an area, that's, that's genocide, that's colonialism, that's everything else. But your spirit, yeah, who is joida?
D Firth Griffith:Your energy, your honesty, your integrity, your creative genius, your medicine, like all of these things, right, they live outside of the idea of control and so, eradicating the, the language, the terminology of medicine from that side right, which can't escape colonialism, like now that you're, you're delivering this finally in a silver platter, I feel. I mean, it's just, it's so exceptionally clear. As long as medicine is, I mean, it's just so exceptionally clear. As long as medicine is something that we do, it's colonial, it has to be Not that you can't do it. What I mean is, by speaking about it this way, by visioning it linguistically, I think it has to live there and obviously you are describing the other side. That's simply brilliant. It's wonderful.
Joydah Mae:It's just like anything with what's been stolen from us, which is our language, our culture, our own way of living. It's similar energy to we're taking the medicine back. We're taking the medicine back what it means to us and who it is and what is it. And the more I sit with it, I go why do I call it medicine all the time? Like even I'm like getting sick of this. And I go because originally, the ancient intelligence, the medicine has many realms from different cultures, from different way of how do you see what medicine is?
Joydah Mae:And then when someone thinks about medicine just like pharmaceutical, you know Right, right, and for me I feel like let's turn it around, let's just switch that a bit upside down and you know, let's just blow that up and make like let's have a look at what medicine means to us first and in our own internal ways and what, yeah, and I feel like that's what's shifting in me. Even I'm getting shifted with that, with with the divine downloads that I get. Is it wasn't. It's not just like for me to tell people this is what I got from the, from the creator.
Joydah Mae:It's more like, oh, it's what I got for me, and you know, process it and digest it and really, uh, shift it within myself, my own dna and my own, yeah, frequency, and then sing it, uh, and so, yeah, it's reclamation again, just taking that power of what medicine is and then bring it into yourself and you go, it's, it's not just panadol or ibuprofen, look, it's water, your water. You know, drink water, have some salt things like that.
Joydah Mae:It's just so I can play with this in so many ways, sometimes like, um, yeah, yeah it comes in a lot, your medicine, what it means, and try to interview myself what it means to for me.
D Firth Griffith:And um, it's a funny one, it's humorous yeah, if, um, I realize we've talked a little bit about this too, but if people were to find you or reach out to you or strike up a wonderful conversation and you were wanting that, where, where, where could they find you? What makes the most sense in finding Jordan May in this digital world?
Joydah Mae:I find to be more active on Instagram. Like you know, we just connected there. At the same time. Email is really good because that I give more present to like, I give more, more my time and just actually responding to people and putting putting more into the you know the space yeah, the space.
Joydah Mae:So I will add that on the notes with the email. Instagram is like the hey, how are you doing? You want to host me for, like for Turtle Island Tiny Concert, and so it's like, because there's another, I'm very sort of accessible in that space on Instagram Because, I don't know, sometimes I'd like to be honest with people and say I'm not available at the moment, that I can get back to you, you know, or email me, right? So yeah, it's me responding, it's no agent. So I feel that there's like real conversation of me saying yes, yes, we can talk or we can find the time, you know, and so, definitely wanting to share some medicine. Now, you're always there's quite a few people that wants to host me out in mount shasta that the area one in california. So it's like so wide man, it's not like, so I'd like to do a little bit of tour around there when it's time. I'm in no rush either. So this is all these little things that I sometimes think about and say do I have the capacity?
D Firth Griffith:Right, well, if you ever end up, mount Shasta is on the other side, on the West Coast, obviously, but if you find yourself in the other side, on the West coast, obviously, but if you find yourself in the mountains of Appalachia, we will, we'll light up the sky. Well, yeah, no, we'll have a lot of fun. Yes, well, thank you, toyota. I really appreciate your time. I appreciate your honesty, your honor, the gifts that you give.
Joydah Mae:It's a blessing to have sat with you. It's an honor to be able to unfold, to bring more essence to what is happening. You know, just just in that space. I honor your time as well and energy that you put into this work and at the same time, I'm grateful for Chalita for connecting us as well.
Joydah Mae:So I I look forward to going back to the garden putting more soil down, and I mean the compost down. So yeah, I'm, I'm. This is a good break for me, so I'm ready to get my hands dirty back in the ground and process of this conversation that we just had. So I really appreciate you.
D Firth Griffith:Yeah, I appreciate you, I appreciate you.