Being the Mom Who Wants More with Danielle Mendoza

In this inaugural episode of Conversations from the Little Pink Book, host Lena Gosik-Wolfe sits down with her best friend, Danielle Mendoza, to discuss the winding paths of entrepreneurship, female friendship, motherhood, and leaning into who you are meant to be.

"I can trust who I am and who I've always thought I am and lean into that and own it in a really powerful way." – Danielle Mendoza


Tune in to listen about:

• Motherhood and Authenticity: Danielle talks about the difficult societal norms she had to unlearn to be both an engaged mother and a successful entrepreneur.
• The Importance of Female Friendship: Both Lena and Danielle emphasize the power and importance of being surrounded by a network of supportive and like-minded women.
• Facing Discrimination and Judgement: Danielle delves into her experiences of feeling "side-eyed" for being ambitious and driven, both as a mom and an entrepreneur.
• Redefining Success and Self-worth: Danielle shares a pivotal moment that helped her rediscover and embrace her true self.

Connect With Danielle

Danielle's Website

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Transcript

Lena: 0:00

I'm beyond excited to introduce you to someone incredibly special today, my best Daniel Mendoza friend, . She's an international best-selling author, podcast host and the founder of confident concept to life-changing a battle with skin cancer into a mission to help women entrepreneurs bring their book ideas to life and leave a legacy that they're proud of. Hey, ladies, welcome to conversations from the little pink book. I'm your host, leena gossick wolf. Picture this you're sitting with the group of amazing friends sipping your favorite beverage and having heart-to-heart conversations about life and business. Well, that's exactly what this podcast is all about. In each episode, I'm diving into conversations with other incredible female entrepreneurs will laugh, share stories and ideas and also explore the real stuff, like breaking free from societal norms, conquering self-doubt and celebrating our unique journeys in business as women. So get comfy, pour your favorite drink and listen in as I chat with all my best scouts in my conversations from the little pink book. Hey, hey, bestie, catch me up on the latest. What's going on with you? What's new in your world?

Danielle: 1:42

hey, hey, so good to hear from you. Oh man, what's new? I feel like it's always something new, like just the nature of being in business and you know, as you know, my business has been growing this year and I've got the new retreat going on, I've got the new partnership opportunity and some new clients. So I just feel like all of that is new. Um gosh, my daughter just turned 14. Talk about new. It's like a whole new world to interact with her and just watch her grow up and be her own person and lean into her life and her thoughts and her feelings about things. It's a lot of fun and you know I'm big on variety and novelty in my life, so all the new stuff is serving me really well right now yeah, I mean, it's so exciting to watch all of the things that you've just kind of been digging into lately and it makes me super proud of you.

Lena: 2:38

You know I love to cheer you on and I just can't wait to see where all of this goes for you.

Danielle: 2:44

Thank you so much.

Lena: 2:45

It means a lot to me to have you on my side and cheering me on and, you know, standing in my corner at all times and I appreciate you because you're always there for me, and that's kind of what I've been thinking about lately is how much we lean on each other to get through things. But I know I certainly didn't have as much of that when I was starting out and growing up even and I don't think you did either. So I was thinking what is something that you felt like you really had to deeply unlearn from your childhood or life before your business to be able to really move forward in business?

Danielle: 3:27

Oh, this is such a good question. I mean, I've been an entrepreneur pretty much all my life, like even as a kid. You know the stories of my lemonade stand that was epically successful the year. They had construction workers going down my street every day and I used to sell old Halloween candy to make money for the ice cream man. And so I've always been someone who is like, okay, what can I do here? What value can I add to others in order to earn the monetary value that I need for the things that I want?

Danielle: 4:00

But when I became a mom, it was like all of a sudden I bought into this idea that I had to give up everything, that I had to go 100% all in to my kids and give up everything that was for me in the process, and it was such a devastating time, like looking back on it, and I think even in the midst of it I had this feeling of devastation, of just a loss of myself, and my identity was so mixed up in these two little humans that there was no space for me to live out my purpose, and it was something that I realized I had taken in from society. It was an idea that martyred a motherhood is the right way to go, and it really wasn't at all and it kept me from being in business for years because I listened to that idea and I did lean all in on my kids and it was terrible for all of us. I mean, I was a good mom and we had good times, but we had so much more quantity than we did quality and it wasn't until I finally realized I need to do something for me. I need to live life as me and as the best me that I can and then from there be their mother and be fulfilled and be joyful and be facing my own struggles and challenges and learning and growing from them so that I could be a better mom to my kids. And once I did that, once I started my first business, I went back to school and got my business management marketing certificate and I started my copywriting business and moved into business strategy and everything just flowed out from there.

Danielle: 5:44

Over the last 10 years I really learned the power of letting go of that idea of martyred a motherhood and leaning into who I'm meant to be in this world and the lives I'm meant to impact outside of my family, and it's made me so much stronger, so much better as a person and as a mother, I could show up so much more fulfilled, and now I'm an example to my kids of how to live life in this way and I think there's a lot of power in that and it's something that, by buying into those old beliefs, I was missing out on that power and my kids were missing out too, and it's changed.

Lena: 6:21

Everything you know it's funny, well, sad, but funny, because I can't even imagine you as someone who isn't just fully themselves In everything they do, because that's just how I know you You're a vibrant person, and it really makes me sad to know that there was a time where you felt like you had to hide all of that. Do you feel like you've ever been quote unquote discriminated against or even just side-eyed for being ambitious and driven as a mom?

Danielle: 6:54

Oh my gosh, absolutely. I mean, I think, the most common form of that and it's innocuous. I don't think people mean it in a mean or denigrating way, but you get the like wow, how do you do so much? You get people who are just in awe of everything that you do and then question it, like somehow it's not possible, like somehow this can't be real. That you're really running multiple businesses, raising your kids, homeschooling your kids, volunteering at your church, sitting on boards for other organizations, all that kind of stuff. People don't seem to think that that's realistic and I think it's just because they can't see the space for it in their own lives. But I'm very intentional about what I do and when I do it and where I put my time and my energy. So I think that's the lowest level of side eye that I might get from people, but unfortunately that comes with success in any realm.

Danielle: 7:54

Even when I was quote unquote just a mom, I would lean into my creativity and be myself in that way and I would do these awesome birthday parties with themes and just different things that I was excited about.

Danielle: 8:10

I would bake stuff and I love cooking and that kind of thing.

Danielle: 8:13

And I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten and we were at her school because this was before we homeschooled and another mom came up to me and she was like, oh, you're one of those Pinterest moms, aren't you?

Danielle: 8:25

And she said it like with a sneer and I just couldn't believe it and I was like I mean, yeah, I guess, if you want to put it that way, I do love me some Pinterest, but it was just so bizarre. It was so bizarre to see that, coming from someone who was theoretically looking for the same kind of success that I was at the time just trying to be the best mom that we could be and be ourselves in the process. So I think that's something that unfortunately comes with the territory of being a woman, and I wish that weren't the case. I wish we could be more celebratory of each other, and I do think that the world is taking a turn towards that, and I know that putting myself in the right circles has made a big difference, like being able to have a business bestie like you and being able to network with other empowered women who don't see anything as a threat and are doing nothing but out there cheering other women on.

Lena: 9:22

Oh man, yeah, I was just talking about this with my husband yesterday, about how, when I was younger, I chose not to have many female friends because I couldn't understand. I couldn't understand why everything seemed so competitive and it made me so uncomfortable. So I just kind of blocked all that out. And then, as I got older, I really didn't seek out a lot of female friendship. For the same reason, it wasn't until I realized I was just surrounded by the wrong people, that that relationship could actually be different. And I'm really hoping now, with your daughter and my niece, that they'll see things a bit differently and embrace female friendship, because I don't know how I would be able to do what I do now without being surrounded by other powerful women.

Danielle: 10:15

Agreed. Having women, close women, friends, close women in your circle who you can trust and rely on and speak to is crucial to success and fulfillment. Honestly, and I think it is coming full circle. I think we're living in a world now where people are just being treated better in general, and I see that in my daughter and her friends. They're always uplifting each other and doing their best to be really positive to themselves as well as to each other, and it's a new wave. It's a new wave of positivity and healthy emotion. Quite frankly, they're willing to acknowledge when they're not feeling so positive, and yet they're willing to step into the space of making sure that everyone feels included, that everyone feels seen for the magic that they have inside themselves, that everyone's talents are acknowledged. It's a really powerful thing to watch develop in this younger generation and it gives me a lot of hope.

Lena: 11:21

For real. That makes my heart so happy to hear. Is there something you know about yourself now that you don't think you would have discovered if you had gone a different way with your career?

Danielle: 11:37

It's funny because my career has taken such a winding path and just this year in particular has really come full circle, and so it's like what I didn't know about myself before was the thing that I did know about myself when I was younger, but then, somewhere along the way, stopped believing.

Danielle: 11:56

And then now stepping into business and doing what I'm doing and helping people write books and moving them through that fear and that concern is something that has taught me that I am who I thought I was back, when I was less guarded, when I was less doubtful of myself, when I was less willing to listen or care about the opinions of others.

Danielle: 12:20

And then naturally, we grow from being kids into teenagers who are taking in the reflection of others in a way that is often too deep, right, like. We start to internalize and identify with the opinions of others, and that pushed me away from some of the things that I thought I was, from understanding. You know my grit and the creativity of my mind and being a writer, and so moving into what I'm doing now and really seeing the success with that and seeing the positive response from the people around me who are cheering me on, has taught me that I can trust who I am and who I've always thought I am, and that that is who I am, and I can lean into that and own it in a really powerful way, oof.

Lena: 13:12

I feel that so deeply because you know I'm going through that same journey myself even now, just trying to remember who I am at my core and unlearn everything I've learned in my adulthood and that's not an easy thing, and I really wish that we had found validation in our authentic selves earlier in life.

Danielle: 13:38

And I think it's easy to regret that. It's easy to say, oh, I wish I had been this way earlier, I wish I'd recognized my value and my worth earlier on. But I think part of it is just the process that we had to go through and now the gift is that we can look back and give that ability to rest in their own value to my daughter and to your niece and help them learn to embrace that so much sooner and live a fulfilling life so much earlier on. And that's what keeps me feeling positive about it is, yeah, I had to go through some shit, but really the gift that it's allowed me to give back to others is so valuable that I can't say that it wasn't worth it. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Lena: 14:29

That really is such a good way to look at it. Well, hey, thanks for doing this with me. I know it's the end of the day right now, but I always appreciate your perspective and how honest and open you always are with me. So thanks, melian, and I guess we'll talk soon.

Danielle: 14:48

Thank you so much. I always love chatting with you and I hope this conversation touches some other people and helps them to recognize their own value and rest in who they are and own it and show up in a whole new way. Yeah, it's just that beautiful inspiration that we can share. I'm so glad that you were moved to capture this, so thank you.

Lena: 15:13

So if you want to chat with Danielle yourself sometime, which I highly recommend you do, be sure to check out her website, confidentconceptcom. I'll be sure to link to that in the show notes for you, but that's c-o-n-f-i-d-e-n-t-c-o-n-c-e-p-tcom.