National Parks: Show Me Your Tetons!

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:01

Ahoy hoy . Hello there . Hello Ahoy to you on this very summer day , as we are going to talk about Tetons . Right Indeed , we are the Grand Tetons , nonetheless . Oh yeah , you actually were just there .

Speaker 1 0:22

Yeah , it was actually the second day of summer , technically . My friend Kyle and I and the doogs went out there , although dogs can't get out in the park , so it wasn't much fun for them .

Speaker 1 0:34

But well , boogs loves to just go for the car rides . But anyway , yeah , it was fun . It was a lot of driving , it was gorgeous . We were both like , well , we're not sorry , we did it , it was beautiful , it was gorgeous . We were both like , well , we're not sorry , we did it . You know , it was beautiful . We don't need to do that anytime soon , because we just did it in a day . We just

Introduction to the Tetons

Speaker 1 0:49

drove out from my mom's cabin , that's a couple hours away . Right , had we stayed or something . I mean , it's worth going Absolutely . Yeah , we just kind of like , yeah , tried to pack it into a day and it was , it was fine . But it was just sort of like , yeah , we'd , um , but the thing to stay , that's the other . The average , uh , you know , if you're actually in the park , it's a thousand bucks a night . Oh wow . So that's kind of if you actually got like a room at a lodge .

Speaker 2 1:15

So yeah , it's very exclusionary um , that's very discouraging for average joe .

Speaker 1 1:23

Right , I mean you can camp and stuff like that , so I don't again . All this is my funny disposition , but yeah absolutely gorgeous . You can't really even uh , you know , kyle said he's like , well , I took pictures , but it's just , it's kind of pointless unless you're actually there . Yeah , it doesn where it's like oh , you know they say like oh , I saw this . It makes you feel like really small and not even in a bad way , but it was like yeah , when you're underneath I think the Grand Teton's like 13,775 feet .

Speaker 2 1:53

Yeah , above sea level .

Speaker 1 1:56

Yeah .

Speaker 2 1:58

Almost a 14er I heard this guy kept referring them to almost 14ers . Apparently , 14,000 feet's a big deal and for the Grand Tetons to have a peak that is that close is pretty crazy , from what I know from a geological standpoint and I don't know anything about that really but basically it's one of the youngest mountain ranges in the Americas from what I understand .

Speaker 1 2:21

Yes , yeah , and in the whole world , apparently I'm with you . I don't know anything . I was wondering . If then it goes by Young T Shut up . That's the street name .

Speaker 2 2:33

No please , no . So the Grand Teton National Park covers 3,994994 acres boy , I did really good at that or 484 square miles , ellen , did you know that ? I did not ? All right , and an average of uh 3,885,000 people uh visit each year as of 2021 is where this number comes from and my uh some of my resources that I was reading up on here from a website called national park is what I got a lot of this yeah .

Speaker 2 3:14

So just a little quick fun facts , like I'll just do this because this is kind of rinky-dink crap anyway , uh , so what are the highest and lowest elevations in Grand Teton National Park ? You may ask . Grand Teton's lowest point is 6,310 feet at Fish Creek , and the highest point as you just touched on is Grand Teton , 13,770 feet Pretty neat , wow yeah .

Speaker 1 3:40

Yeah , definitely

Facts About Grand Teton National Park

Speaker 1 3:42

All kinds of wildlife there too .

Speaker 2 3:44

Yeah .

Speaker 1 3:45

Of course , Bears , elk , all kinds of birds , Apparently ranging from the calliope hummingbird , that's the smallest found on the North American continent , up to the trumpeter swan , that's the largest waterfowl found . So for your bird fans like Ma , Teton's a great place to go check out some wildlife , including the birds .

Speaker 2 4:09

Maybe that would be extreme bird watching , perhaps ? Yeah , we touched on on the Extreme Hobbies episode . What would extreme bird watching be in the midst of all these other extreme hobbies , like ironing and such , and we weren't sure . But I think if you were shooting for , like , the smallest of the small bird and the largest of the large , that's kind of extreme , I don't know . Just a thought , sorry about that . So , yeah , it's fauna , as you were just speaking on . What a word that is , isn't that amazing ? It includes 61 mammal species elk , moose , bison , pronghorn which are some of my favorite and one of the only I think it's the only mammal that's still alive in North America from and without being , like , changed in any way from the Ice Age , about 10,000 , 12,000 years ago , possibly longer , I don't know , but they've been around for a while and they're also , like , the fastest land animal , I feel , which is oh wow , yeah , and I was just sorry .

Speaker 2 5:14

Now I'm excited . I was just listening to something not too long ago and they're talking about said pronghorn species and how they're driving along a dirt road in their car going probably I'm guessing like 40 miles an hour , 50 , I just can't quite remember . It was up in that range and the the pronghorn was keeping up with their car and then there was a fence and it just disappeared , and so the guy was like what the hell ? Well , what happened was his pronghorns don't jump over fences like other deer . That's why you don't see him hanging on the side . If you're used to being in a rural area , it's not uncommon to sometimes see a deer who died on a fence because it got caught trying to jump it . Well , pronghorns slide under them .

Speaker 1 5:56

Damn .

Speaker 2 5:57

That's amazing . It was running as fast as a car slid under the fence , a barbed wire fence . I thought that was pretty impressive . Magic that may be happening in the Tetons , guys .

Speaker 1 6:09

Yeah , they can maintain speed for quite a while too . We see them out on the flats by the cabin where you can see the Grand Teton , Mount Owen and , I think , Mount Moran . Just barely see them on a clear day from the deck of the cabin . It's a rough go of it out there .

Speaker 2 6:31

Oh , I bet . Yeah , that's amazing man . It's actually one of the shorter mountain ranges as well . I didn't get the . I think it's 40 miles long Like 40 miles yeah . All right , nice , I couldn't remember . But comparative to other mountain ranges that you know , like the Rockies are like thousands or something , huh , like I don't know . But Well , it's part of the Rockies , oh , is it ? Okay , see , shows how much I know about mountains , bro .

Speaker 1 6:54

Yeah , I'm not well aware of those

Wildlife and Pronghorn Speed

Speaker 1 6:57

, but I'm pretty sure . Yeah , it's just a , it's a thing , a range in the .

Speaker 2 7:00

Z .

Speaker 1 7:00

Rockies , z Rockies . And it's the only park , with national park , with an airport .

Speaker 2 7:07

I don't know if that's a good or bad thing , but I'm sure a lot of these things that you're talking about , especially like how expensive it could be to stay there , has something to do with its distance from Jackson Hole .

Speaker 1 7:20

Yeah , it's right there . That's like Ritz-y For one . Wyoming's a very tax-friendly for the super rich . It's a very nice place to park some money . Pretend that you live there and it's really just the house you visit for a few weeks a year or something , and it's worth $20 million .

Speaker 2 7:42

Yeah , that totally helps out locals , huh , like the Wyoming folks . I'm sure that just what do they call that ? Trickle down ? There's a bunch of money in the state it's going to , you know .

Speaker 1 7:52

Yeah , that didn't work out so good with Reaganomics , no , but Meemaw's going to move out of our trailer . Keep on hoping for people .

Speaker 2 7:58

Right , yeah , keep on listening . Yeah , keep on listening . Yeah , for sure Don't . Well , it's not like I'm rich , I'm pretty broke , I mean no .

Speaker 1 8:08

I have butter pretzels and I'm quite Pleased with myself . Yeah , no , I'm content .

Speaker 2 8:13

Those are my assets .

Speaker 1 8:15

I've tried Tipping the the fridge and some butter Grated pretzels , yeah Right , a little short To Jackson money , hey yeah .

Speaker 2 8:24

Yeah , I , yeah Right , a little shard of Jackson money . Hey , yeah , yeah , I gotcha man . The Snake River , which also flows through the Tetons , is known to actually be one of the cleanest , hmm .

Speaker 1 8:36

It kicked that pesky heroin habit , damn . That's yeah , I suppose .

Speaker 2 8:43

So , tripping up a bit , one of the things I thought was kind of fascinating that just made me your heroin joke made me think of that for some reason . But a lot of the rock formation or a lot of the rocks , the physical rocks like you know , you got like granite , sandstone , all that kind of stuff is actually . They call it nice , so it's like the Tetons are NICE . I don't know , this is what I thought . Sorry , but it's an acronym for some sort of thing , and I don't know if you were able to see any of these rocks , but apparently they look like they have like a zebra pattern but they resemble granite . But it's actually a rock called NICE . Huh , a lot of N nice Tetons , my friend . Awfully nice though .

Speaker 1 9:24

Nice Tetons .

Speaker 2 9:25

Yeah , well , hey , you know . Speaking of that , let's just get it out of the way , because I think anybody that's going to talk about the Tetons is going to bring up the name , right ? Yes , do you have anywhere in your notes that explains how this place was named , do you ?

Speaker 1 9:41

have anywhere in your notes that explains how this place was named ? Not exactly , but yeah , they are named after breast cysts .

Speaker 2 9:48

Yeah , that's a true fact , guys .

Speaker 1 9:51

There was also . I didn't know if people were messing with me at the cabin as a kid , because I remember hearing that and you never know Adults like to . But yeah , sure enough .

Speaker 2 10:05

Yeah , god bless them . Right , and it was originally like or something like that , and twa is actually three in french , just so you're aware . So it's all right , yeah so it's like three breasts , because there's three peaks which is like the lady from total recall yeah , apparently . So the movie not out yet . Guys , that's weird , I didn't even think of that . Good job , hey , this almost sounds like a dad joke but

Jackson Hole and Snake River

Speaker 2 10:31

Sorry .

Speaker 2 10:34

High five , yeah , alright , way to get it in there , owen , alright , anyway . Hey , what time zone is Grand Teton National Park located ? In Mountains , ooh yeah , that sounds like a joke , doesn't it ? I don't know , it's just a .

Speaker 1 10:52

It's not even a dad joke , that's like a fucking . Yeah , I don't know Great Grandpa deceased at Thanksgiving table joke .

Speaker 2 11:00

Okay , sorry . Yeah , it can be , it could be considered as such . So , yeah , the Tetons also , though itself could come from the Lakota word I don't know if I'm saying that right , I apologize Meaning village on the prairie , french-canadian trappers , who later named the mountains Grand Ketons , meaning big breasts , but originally , like I said , it was like Trois Ketons or something , and are also part of the region's history . So the and the Lakota Sioux really have like a , a big history . There in that mountain range , my friend , there's a , there's actually an animal , uh , in their folklore that's known to be out there , and I don't want to I probably won't say it all the way , right , but I'm gonna give it a good shot . Guys , it's the meh , meh , wah too .

Speaker 2 11:51

This creature okay , owen is described as a large amphibious being , not unlike the underwater panther , I , I think you know , in a weird way , uh , but it has buffalo like a buffalo like body and red hair and a single horn , as opposed to , like you know , the horns of a buffalo normally would be . So it has a buffalo like body . I'm really interested in this , um , and then it has a notched back like a saw . These are the things that it tells

Mountain Name Origin and Culture

Speaker 2 12:19

me . So use your imagination , people . I don't know if that's going to help anybody , but apparently it can swim very powerfully at night , causing the water to turn and glow . Encountering one during the day is believed to cause confusion , vision loss , madness and ultimately death . Yeah , so that's a thing . There is a water buffalo in the Tetons that is trying to confuse and kill you .

Speaker 1 12:44

Wow .

Speaker 2 12:44

Yeah , so , and also I know that there's Some lore around the Thunderbird Residing in the Tetons For these people as well .

Speaker 1 12:55

Thunderbird gets around .

Speaker 2 12:57

Yeah , well , it's the Thunderbird , Bro , come on .

Speaker 1 12:59

Yeah , it travels well . Yeah , I did . Well , it's the Thunderbird , bro , come on . It travels well .

Speaker 2 13:02

Yeah , it does .

Speaker 1 13:03

I did see that it's come back , but because of fur trapping being such a big deal in the area , the beaver population was almost done . But then the mountain man era faded away and silk hats became more popular and fashionable than the beaver hats , which we'll leave that one alone .

Speaker 2 13:22

Yeah , yeah , beaver hats . Nonetheless . Yeah , they did do away with those . It was almost full extinction , from what I understand , from how they're trapping and stuff in there . One creature from the Tetons that has gotten away and it's very elusive Owen , you may be familiar with now that you've been stationed in Montana for a while . I'm not sure if the rest of the nation is , but have you ever heard of a jackalope ? Yes , absolutely .

Speaker 2 13:54

Yeah , it's a creature who's got . You know , it's kind of like a bunch of tails . It's a Wyoming folklore type of deal . You know , it's kind of like a bunch of tales , it's a Wyoming folklore type of deal . But the jackalope is said to be a horned rabbit that races across the plains , prairies , mountainsides and riverbeds of Grand Teton National Park and other parts of Wyoming , and this creature's no joke . Apparently they sell jackalope hunting licenses in Wyoming as well .

Speaker 1 14:20

I ate jackalope once actually .

Speaker 2 14:22

Really .

Speaker 1 14:23

Really .

Speaker 2 14:24

Really yeah . How did that go ?

Speaker 1 14:25

Well , it's funny too , cause I told Brooke Friend of the show , dear friend , and she was like , um , owen , you know , that's a Fictional animal right . And I was like , yes , I do , brooke , it was . Uh , they , it was essentially like a Somewhat fancy game Hot dog , they mix Antelope meat with fucking jackrabbit . Oh my God . Yeah , it was not the highlight of the game platter , but anywho , to say the least .

Speaker 2 14:54

Yeah , so well . Antelope's notoriously not the best meat . Right , I know I've heard that yeah , because they really just run , run , run , you know , and that doesn't make for a good meet , and neither does Jackrabbit . From what I've heard , it's pretty stringy from some . I think Donnie Hill folks might have filled me in on that . One Friend of the show .

Speaker 2 15:16

Oh , he's full of the knowledge man , being as he's from Soldotna , alaska , you know , and then and then montana , you know . So there we are , just donnie hill folks . That's all I gotta say , guys . Uh , you know , I felt like we covered a lot of good stuff here about the great , uh , the grand tetons , the great tetons , uh , you know . But I wanted to add in something that I think we may have forgot and I I just briefly looked

Mythical Creatures and Folklore

Speaker 2 15:41

into it , so this isn't like a major point , guys , I'm going to do a lot of referencing to a wakeupwyomingcom article that I read . That TV show claims aliens may inhabit Wyoming's Grand Tetons . Have you heard anything about this , owen ?

Speaker 1 15:57

I have not . I'm very interested too here .

Speaker 2 16:01

Yeah , okay . So the claim was that back in the 1930s , an explorer found a cave that led into one of the mountains in the teton range and while exploring it , he was greeted by some strange alien-like creatures . And guess what , owen ? They gave him a tour , bro . They were friendly , I guess . Apparently . Eventually , um , there was some 2 000 feet or so below the mountain and they showed him a bunch of like technological wonders , apparently , and a disc that possessed some sort of , uh , wonderful abilities . So that's uh , but wait , but wait , there's more .

Speaker 2 16:33

Okay , um , according to , like the , the show that this was on , which is ancient aliens by the way , this has something to do with the Vikings as well and and it it goes on further to say that , uh , the host , uh the video , that uh in the show claims that Wyoming was selected for the aliens because of Bigfoot , and he's dead , fucking serious guys . So I don't know if there's any validity to this podcast , landia , um , but apparently he claims the aliens and a Bigfoot have an unholy alliance fucking serious guys . So I don't know if there's any validity to this podcast , landia , but apparently he claims the aliens and Bigfoot have an unholy alliance . Okay , yeah , I think . Wake Up Wyoming's onto something here , guys , you know Bigfoot and the unholy alliance , and this is a real thing here . Check this one out . This is a fun thing . That's right around there in the area apparently there's a green river intergalactic spaceport . That was actually , uh , it was started off by a joke , I guess by some city council member , because of the alien stuff that I'm just talking about now , guys , breaking news or something like that and uh , basically like it

Aliens in the Tetons

Speaker 2 17:41

. It got legs over years and the faa actually put the intergalactic spaceport on their map . So it's the , the intergalactic spaceport for the people escaping jupiter , apparently is uh recognized , uh by our government .

Speaker 2 17:58

Wow , that was involved . Yeah , I know , right , did I get deep ? I don't know . You know that's . That's when we do this hard-hitting stuff and I tell stories , guys . Yeah , you know , you could visit the website at fitlocksupplycom and , you know , pick up a shirt , uh , and or subscribe . You know , I think we got it pretty low . I think it's only like oh god , I haven't checked for a while , sorry , subscribers out there , but uh , I think it's like the lowest is like $3 a month or something like that . But if there's a way to send even lower than that , I definitely would , because we just , you know , just support , and we use anything we get to fund the show . Fund it for the fun . No , I don't buy weed with your money . Okay , guys , that is not what happens .

Speaker 1 18:43

I buy Faberge eggs and break them . Oh my . God , I'm unfortunate to have it .

Speaker 2 18:48

Yeah Well , you have to keep your string cheese fridge stocked in order to fulfill your extreme hobby of string cheese braiding .

Speaker 1 18:57

This is true ?

Speaker 2 18:58

Yeah , if you want to know more about extreme hobbies , look back a couple episodes . That's a pretty good one actually . So , nonetheless , what are the Grand Titons ? I don't even know . Is it French ? Is it Spanish ? Like you know , there's a bunch of different . Like French , yeah , well , that's what .

Speaker 1 19:14

I'm saying .

Speaker 2 19:14

Initially coming into this , I thought that it was a Spanish-style slang word or something . Until we looked into it , I know that Montana is mountains in Spanish , right ? I'm pretty sure . Anyway , I know it's based on that word . The state of Montana's name is based on the Spanish word for mountains , but oh yeah , you didn't know that . I was unaware . Must originally be from California . They're going to fucking run you out on a rail , bro . Those Montana folk . They get feisty about that stuff . They're very territorial for no reason sometimes .

Speaker 1 19:52

Yeah , this is my dirt , yeah , yeah .

Speaker 2 19:55

I didn't take this from the natives . Yeah , come on people . Anyway , everybody , love everybody .

Speaker 1 20:03

You , you know you need to watch semi pro and you still haven't have you we watched it at the shanty one one time , but we were in the state of disrepair .

Speaker 2 20:12

Whiskey was heavily involved , so I don't , I can't really say right well , there's a great part in that for everybody in the locker rooms arguing . I think woody harrelson's involved and uh uh , andre 2000 is in that movie as well . I think he's in that part too . But anyway , they're all arguing , fighting because they're losing or something , and jackie moon , played by will ferrell , comes in and he he just screams at him everybody love everybody .

Speaker 2 20:39

I mean , that's how I feel sometimes . It's like God , you guys , why can't you just kind of at least sort of like each other ? I don't know Right , um bro , good episode . Hey , I'm glad you took a trip to the Tetons . I think , uh , some of your exploration probably , you know , got hindered by the fact of your timeline .

Closing Thoughts and Episode Wrap-up

Speaker 2 21:06

You know you didn't have enough time to actually enjoy being in certain areas or something like that . I do not know how the national park situation in the US is looking this year . I feel it may be dire as far as bathrooms and such . So if you guys are planning on going to any national parks in the United States , be prepared to poop in the forest guys , and you can thank Donald Trump for that sorry much , love everybody , alright , peace .