Ritam Studio Podcast With Jonni Pollard and Carla Dimattina

Peeling Back the Curtains of Ignorance: Finding What Was Always There

• Jonni Pollard

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This conversation reveals the fascinating mechanism behind pre-transformation anxiety. When we commit to spiritual growth, the universe doesn't wait for the official start date—the process begins the moment we press "register." That mounting tension, those emotional releases, the irrational fears? They're all part of divine intelligence orchestrating your preparation, ringing out your nervous system before the formal work even begins.

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Speaker 1:

I had a situation today where I could feel the anxiety building about. So just backstory regarding an application for a visa for India. I knew today when I sat down to the computer that it wasn't going to go through right.

Speaker 1:

I just had this. I was so anxious this morning because I just kind of, I just there was just a this is just, this is just an another block, and so obviously that continued and then I had a big meltdown a few hours ago, um, building into, yeah, probably the the biggest release of in that kind that I've had for a while. So my question is in the past also, this has happened where some of my recently, my most intense anxiety moments is fearing something that actually happens like that. It that I, that I, yeah, and this same thing happened last year when all this other I knew that my last trip was going to be difficult and it was, so I preempt.

Speaker 1:

And then I went through all the fear and the anxiety and the release before I even went this is a different scenario completely and it doesn't feel like that at all, but I was just thinking, thinking here, sitting here, thinking of the, the similarities, and that I what I'm trying to say is you know, there's all this talk about we create our own reality by manifesting our thoughts, and our thoughts create, you know, the fear, and then that actually comes true. So there's one thing, but I don't feel that in this case Like it feels like I knew that this was building and I just had to go through it. So is that what I've experienced?

Speaker 1:

I would say that would be the most accurate take on the thing, yeah, experienced I would say that would be the most accurate take on the thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so the anxiety building up to this morning, knowing I was waiting seven days to try again and I just sat at the computer with just after, like chanting to ganesha, doing everything right, just going, I could not settle the anxiety because it's like I knew that actually I was going to get another, another block, block, yeah, yeah I mean, if so, just to create a little bit more context, lisa's talking about trying to get her visa to go to india to start the one year teacher training that I'm running. By the way, pardon, it just went through.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you knew yeah, um, because I think you wouldn't be very good right now. No, I wouldn't. You walked in feeling the lights. I'm like, oh great, it went through. Yeah, so you know, everybody that's preparing for this training is going through some kind of thing. Yeah, this is your thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, and nature's intelligence has a remarkable way of orchestrating all kinds of circumstances in order to prepare us. It's like a warm-up, if you like, just getting ahead of the curb on the whole sort of releasing of stuff. It's a very rigorous training over 12 months and it starts and finishes with a very intensive program that essentially is just industrial grade stress release, just pure ringing the nervous system out. And you know what? What generally happens when people sign up for stuff like this. The program starts like when they press, you know, register. You know. So, as soon as you get the application letter back saying yeah, congratulations, it just starts happening. Yeah, um, and it's great, you know, because that's what you're signing up for is just, you know, what was lodged in your nervous system was just some old thing that just needed to come out. You know, when you look back on it in a week you'd be like, wow, I really like freaked out over that. Yeah, yeah, it's irrational, but there it is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it was like and so when Andrew's going just calm down, babe, it's all right. We've still got three weeks and I could not stop, not get it together.

Speaker 2:

And I could not stop, could not get it together. But it had nothing to do with the application. No, yeah, you know it's fascinating, yeah, and you know it's just a thorn to remove a thorn. You know, all these circumstances that we find ourselves in in life that are prickly and not nice but cause us to deeply reflect and ultimately upgrade, letting go of some unsustainable behaviour, or where we see ourselves, where we upgrade it, you know it's just beautifully designed by divine intelligence just to come and pop it out.

Speaker 1:

And so, given that, is it worth trying to find out what the lesson is. Because, last week I tried to think oh, this is just about surrender.

Speaker 2:

It's not a lesson, it's not a yeah. I mean, you know we talk about surrender, you know? Oh, the universe is testing me or it's teaching me. It doesn't quite work like that. The deeper narrative is that you are already the highest intelligence at some layer of your consciousness that you haven't yet fully stabilized. You may have certainly experienced glimpses of it, if not nice moments of it. So if we're learning anything, it's we're learning how to unlearn, to reveal what's already there. You know, what we're revealing is the highest state of knowingness, which is our nature. The very fabric of our being is intelligence. We don't have intelligence, we are intelligence. That is what we are.

Speaker 2:

And in this process of refining our nervous system, our brain and our senses to detect ever-increasing subtlety, what we're doing is we're just piercing through the layers of conditioning, that veil, that experience of ourself. It's not that we're becoming more of ourself, it's just that we're becoming less of what we've been conditioned to be. You can't be any more than yourself, because yourself is infinite in its nature. It doesn't grow, it already is. And we're just peeling back the curtains of ignorance, going ah, the revelation is ah, I've always been that, that's who I am. When we really wake up to ourself. It's no surprise. It's not like ah, it's like ah, yeah. And what's more of a surprise is it's astounding that I could have ignored that for so long. How was I choosing not to see myself in that?

Speaker 2:

So the term the universe is testing me. It's a very anthropomorphic way of looking at things, like human-centric way of looking at things. All the universe is ever doing, all the divine is ever doing, is conspiring constantly, as a part of its spontaneous program to lead your consciousness into ever-expanding states of awareness of your own nature. And we can interpret a set of circumstances as a test. But that narrative is just a condition of our human consciousness, the set of circumstances. We're revered. We're just there as an opportunity for you to see more deeply your nature and to either act upon it or not. And if you chose not to in that moment, the universe is not going failed, right? We need a tougher test to the angels Yep, bring the doozy out. It doesn't work like that. Karma is not a test. It's just the context by which we evolve, how infinity operates within boundaries and evolves within a narrative. We need some kind of guardrails and structure for how we move through lives.

Speaker 1:

And how we keep releasing to just reveal our true nature.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's the context for our experience, but it's not a test. Yeah, you know. And all we're doing, by the way we respond to whatever it is that is being presented to us as circumstance, is simply an opportunity. And then we broadcast our state of consciousness by the way in which we respond, and as we broadcast that, we're communicating where we're at, and then nature is busy orchestrating the next beautiful moment that is beautifully correlating with directly what it is that you've just said. You've just announced where you're at, and there's no hiding it, there's no pretending it, there's no anything, there's no fooling divine intelligence. We can fool each other.

Speaker 1:

So then, what's our role in it then? Is our role to say, for example, if it's all happening, is our role still to say, practice the golden sequence, for example, and surrender and feel and do it so, which is what I try to do, but it's still blew up like big time, but I still. I can reflect on it, I can be, but is that all we need to do?

Speaker 2:

Our role is to hand ourselves over to the divine. Yeah, and what I mean by that is to remove whatever obstructions, false ideas and beliefs about who we are, the disturbances, the trauma in the nervous system, to resolve it, to clean it out, so that that frequency of divinity can rise up in us and acquire us, because that's what spontaneously occurs when we make space. You know, you can have a glass loading in a body of water and if it's just bobbing there, you know the integrity of the structure is going to ensure that that water doesn't get in. But if you submerge that glass just a millimeter beneath the surface, that glass becomes full. So we expose ourself to the source of that water.

Speaker 2:

The name of the game is to let it flood us, to be flooded. And so you know, this is why we meditate. We allow our hardware, the mind and the brain and the nervous system to de-excite, to create space. We submerge the faculties of consciousness, our physiological faculties of consciousness, submerge it into a deep, coherent, unboundedness, a restfulness, and what we're doing is we're inviting the flooding of this deeper divine consciousness to come in and have its way, flush us out. And it's a big process, lifetimes, which is not that much considering how many lifetimes we've spent making a mess of it. Yeah, relatively speaking, it all happens pretty quick.