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Connect with Sonia Cacique
LinkedIn
Instagram
JOIN OUR CAREER NEWSLETTER here.
🚀 I'll help you rediscover who you truly are, provide clarity towards your future and be your personalized coach with Multiple Service Package options. Your Coach Sonia is ready to help you!
"Stay well, be present, and enjoy the journey"
your team decided, their career plan has changed. What do you do now? Well, whether they are in high school or in college, today I am going to walk you step by step on how to handle this conversation and what actions to take. Welcome to College and Career Ready you go to Resource for All Things related to helping you guide your growing team towards a career path that motivates them. I'm your coach, sonia Casique, founder of Discover you, and I will be your host and guide on this exciting journey towards a bright future.
Speaker 1:My mission is simple to empower our parents and students by elevating their confidence and resourcefulness. I believe that you deserve all the tools and support necessary to open the doors to endless opportunities of success and, with our community, you don't have to do this alone, so come with me and let's get started. Thank you, friend. Thank you for being here with me today. Today, we have a great conversation, something that I think is much needed because, unfortunately, not only our teenagers but even our parents believe that everybody else has everything figured out except themselves, and then, when things like this come up, where your team decides, hmm, that's not the career they want to pursue, whether it's in high school or even their first semester in college, you panic and you think you're the only one going through this experience. Well, let me reassure you that that's actually not the case, and we will be talking about that today. So I think this conversation is going to be very beneficial, but before we get started, I do want to ask you for a huge favor. If you have not rated or recommended our podcast, what are you waiting for? This is the opportunity to five-star the podcast and write your personal review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and if you do so, please take a screenshot and email it to me to infoatcollegecareerreadyorg, so I can personally thank you and give you a shout out on our next episode. I also want to let you know that I have released a bonus episode, one that is very timely, and on this bonus episode, I will walk you through how to file an appeal letter for financial aid when your family requires more funds. It's a very timely episode and, whether you think you need more funds or not, you should take a listen, because I am sure we all can come up with great ways to use some extra money in our pocket saved from our college expenses. So make sure you take a listen and get some insight on how you would be able to file an appeal on your financial aid award letter or offer. All right, my friend.
Speaker 1:Well, let's get started with today's topic. Imagine your teen had selected a high school degree plan with a specific endorsement that they later found out they did not quite like, or a certification path in high school that they realized wasn't a good fit for them. Or imagine that they applied to nursing school and a week before starting they decided hmm, career in nursing is not the career they want to pursue any longer. So what do you do then? Well, today we will explore why this is such an essential topic of conversation, even if this has not happened to you yet. We will talk about how to build connection with your teen in the process of self-exploration, and then we will wrap up teaching you how to assess your teen's current situation and how to take the next steps with them.
Speaker 1:Now if you're thinking, hmm, can my child actually go through the process of applying to a program such as nursing and then decide that's not a right fit for them? Well, let me tell you, my friend, I can answer that question because I had this exact scenario happen to me personally as a teen. I was accepted into the nursing program and a week before starting I panicked. Later I realized it was actually an anxiety attack and that anxiety attack costed me the nursing program because I decided to quit. And do you know what my parents told me? Well, I got two different answers. My mom told me to stick with it, that later I would just end up liking it, and my father, so calmly and so sweetly, told me that it was okay and I could always pick a different career path. Those were my two options either go for it or decide on something else. Well, it was one week before starting the nursing program and I decided to quit, completely changed paths. I had to figure things out on my feet and figure out a different plan.
Speaker 1:Now, my parents really didn't know any better, of course, at the time, and I for sure know way more now, having gone through the experience myself and through the education and career path that I have taken. It really has equipped me with the strategies I am going to share with you today. Now, why do I share this with you? Well, because neither of my parents were right or wrong in their advice, but they did need to have provided me with a little more guidance in the process. Whether your teen is in high school or college, the strategies and steps I am going to share with you can open the doors for them to keep exploring themselves and their options without having to close and adore immediately, like it was in my case, that I just basically quit from one week to the next. That's me. No regrets now, because I have taken the steps to get me to my ideal career path. However, if my parents would have gone through these steps with me, I would have gotten here much more quicker. So the first thing we're going to talk about is how to look at everything from a bigger picture, right From using a bigger lens.
Speaker 1:Now let me tell you some of the data that I have found. According to various studies, college students begin their academic journey undecided about their major. Now here are some relevant statistics Approximately 20 to 50% of students enter college without a declared major, and these students are often exploring different fields and considering their options before committing to a specific path. So if your teenager is still trying to decide in high school, that's okay. This is the discovery time of their life. Now, even if they're already in college, don't worry, we still have some options for them. An estimated 75% of college students change their major at least once before graduation. Can you believe that 75% of college students? Again, we have so much pressure early on, as early as middle school, to decide a career path right, and then still we end up with the statistics that we find in college students that they end up changing their major.
Speaker 1:Now I can do other episodes where we'll dive in deeper into helping them explore their interests, gifts, talents, abilities and really use high school as a time of exploration. But right now we're just going to talk about the possibility of your child choosing a career path, an endorsement, a pathway or certification, whether it's in high school or their first semester of college right, a degree plan. We will walk you through the steps on how to just pause for a second before they quit the program or the endorsement or the path they're on Now. This flexibility allows students to explore their interests and find the right fit for their academic and career goals. Now, if you're looking at it from this perspective, it's not such a bad idea if your child comes to you in high school or even first year in college thinking they want to change career paths. It's better sooner than later.
Speaker 1:My friends Ask me Now, even students who have declared a major, they don't always base their decision on factual research and self-reflection Again, something I might have to say for another conversation. But this is exactly what we're going to speak about today, because today we're going to talk about changing your mind in the process. Now, being undecided again at the start of college is very common, and changing your mind is also quite common as well. The problem again that I see that's often made is that the students will switch immediately, whether it's from fear, anxiety like myself external pressure, doubt or uncertainty, and then completely switch Instead. I want to walk you, as a parent, through the steps to take with your growing teens, step by step, once they think that they are on the wrong path, but the step by step approach, your teen or adolescents can take advantage of the opportunity to explore their current plan and also consider different fields before making a final decision. Like I did right One week to the next, it's essential for students to seek guidance, consider their interests and make informed choices as they navigate their academic journey. Now the key point number two that I'm going to mention for you especially parents out there is to connect and inquire, or connect and ask right? There's certain questions I want you to be asking your child when they come to you and say guess what, mom, dad, I've changed my mind. This is not the career path I want to go into, or the certification, or the endorsement or the pathway right, there's different options in different high schools.
Speaker 1:Now, one thing I want to explain to you the cognitive triangle. It's also known as a CBT triangle. It's a tool that is used in cognitive behavioral therapy that illustrates the relationship between how we think, feel and behave. So it's a model that suggests that all three components are interconnected and they can influence each other. So the tip of the triangle represents our thoughts, what we're thinking, while the bottom, right and left points represent our feelings and behaviors respectively. It is a useful tool to regulate emotions and behavior. Again, it is what you think, feel and behave. I actually like to think about it as what I'm thinking right my mind, what I'm feeling and what I act upon, or how I behave.
Speaker 1:Now. These are important because when you ask the next questions that I'm going to be having you to use as a reference for your teen when they decide, oh, I don't know if this is the right path, I want you to also analyze with them. What are they thinking, what are they feeling right and what do they plan on doing Right. Before they plan on the doing, we want to make sure we go back and analyze what they're thinking and how they're feeling. Okay, so Let me go over with you the questions that I want you to be asking your team. So your team comes in and they come in and they say mom, dad, pharmacy technician track or the business management track whatever it is right In high school, whether it's a track in high school, pathway or endorsement or a degree plan in college that they have accepted to go into a program or a pathway, and now they are deciding that that's not a right fit.
Speaker 1:So what I want you to do is I want you to ask what makes you think this? Why are you thinking this Right? Tell me more. Can you tell me about these feelings you're having? Why, all of a sudden, did you decide that this is not a great fit? Now, when they tell you, well, it's because I know in nursing they have to give vaccines. I don't know, right, just an example, and I don't think I can give vaccines. I'm freaking out, right, or I am going on the stem track and I realize that I'm not into science, right, just to give you an example.
Speaker 1:Whatever the reason is, you have to identify why they're thinking that this is not a good fit. Just ask why Right, you're not being judgmental. You have to make sure you do it in a tone of voice that's inviting for them to open up and you're just curious Actually, that's a great word to use. You can say hey, johnny, I'm curious. Why are you feeling this way? Right Now, if they open up and they share, you want to ask what made them think that.
Speaker 1:Remember back to what I thought, what I told you about the model, the, what you think, feel and behave. So what made you think that? Or what made you feel that? What is that tipping point that caused you to realize that this wasn't a good fit? Now, once they identify that, you can ask them how does that make you feel? Are you stressed, are you anxious, are you upset, are you disappointed? What's the feeling? That's being connected, because now we need to find out what's going on behind the actions that are occurring. Remember, think, feel, behave. They want to act in this manner. What feeling is behind this action? So let's recall over these questions again. It's why you feel that way, what made you feel this way and how does this really make you feel so? Just open-ended questions why, what, how?
Speaker 1:Now, once we have this conversation going and remember it's very important that we are used to having open conversations with our teens you might want to check episode 65, guiding your teen towards their ideal career using a four step framework, and episode number 66, how to connect with your teen using their primary love language. These are two great episodes that will remind you that connection is very important when you are trying to help guide your teen. Okay, so those were examples of open-ended questions, right? I'm sure there's other ones that you can think of as well, but we really want to get down to the bottom of it, right? What is the reason behind this questioning or doubt that they're having? Remember, it's very important for you to build a connection with your teen, to be able to have this communication. So make sure you check out those episodes mentioned so you can start building that relationship and that connection. Right, connection before direction.
Speaker 1:All right, so once we've gotten a little bit of more information as far as why they're feeling this way, what thoughts they're having, what they're thinking now let's help them assess the situation, and this is a third step in our process. Remember our first step we saw things from a bigger lens. On step number two, we connected and inquired, or connected and asked, and now we're going to help them assess right. So what you're going to do is you're going to assess what they like of the program. If they're already in the program, this is especially important because they've already had some experience within the program or certification or pathway.
Speaker 1:Now, once they're in there, this is a perfect time for you to say hey, what is it of this career plan, class pathway, endorsement, degree plan, whatever it is they're in, what is it that you like and enjoy? There has to be parts of it that they enjoy or like. Now, if they say they don't like anything, well that we can skip on all the way to helping them identify a new career path. But if they do say that they do like some aspects of it, jot it down. I want you to start thinking about this so you can do something like a teacher and you can write together a list of the things they like on one side. Okay, what is it that they do like, whether it's even small parts of the project or the career plan or the degree or the activities, whatever it is. Write the things that they like and enjoy.
Speaker 1:Now what you're going to do is you're also going to assess what they don't like, right? This is why they're questioning whether this is the right path or certification. So you are going to assess by asking what they don't like, as simply as making a teacher. Now what you're going to do is you're going to ask what is it that they think or that they really don't like, and find out if this is a small part of a bigger picture or it is the big picture in itself, right? What we're trying to do is we're trying to put this on paper for you and your team to evaluate. Is this a big problem or a small problem, right Now?
Speaker 1:Sometimes they may think it's a big problem and maybe it's just one small aspect of the degree or the class that they're taking that they don't like. Maybe they've created a bigger problem than what it really is. For example, let's say they're in the RN program, right? I'm just going to use that as an example, because that was my example. And they say I'm afraid of needles and I don't think I can ever use needles while being a registered nurse. That's just an example, okay. So maybe you need to ask them what is it of being an RN or a nurse that they do enjoy and that they do look forward to Make that list? What if that list is so long and you realize that this one item that they don't like right, using of needles is limiting them from the opportunity of following a career that's really ideal for them? Again, even if it's a big problem for them, there are still ways around it, and I'm going to talk to you about that in a minute.
Speaker 1:The other thing I want you to analyze with your teen is what other parts of nursing, of being a nurse, can you work in that may not require needles every single day? Right, it could be in education, it could be. Maybe they are in the administrative side of nursing, right, there's many different sub opportunities, job opportunities in nursing that may not necessarily require needles. Okay, just as really thinking outside of the box. Now let's say that they are very afraid of needles and they can't even find the thought of having needles in their hands. Well, that could be a skill that can be developed.
Speaker 1:We are born with certain skills, right, our natural abilities and traits that that's just part of who we are, but there are also skills that we just have to develop slowly but surely. There are definitely resources that can help develop these skills, such as being afraid of needles. Right, maybe they use an orange to start off with and they just start kind of like poking it slowly but surely with a needle. Again, small little steps that they can take to slowly face their fear. If that one skill or that one thing that's really making them think that they're gonna change complete plans, that is when you wanna focus on developing that skill, because if it's just one aspect of a big picture, when they really are passionate about becoming a nurse, then we want to help them with that skill. So we might want to start asking them what or who can help them overcome this fear.
Speaker 1:And if they are really passionate about all of the other skills within the career or field or pathway that they're in, right, we really want to go back to the T-Chart that we mentioned and in this process, I want you and your child to start considering options. Now here's the catch I want you to teach your teen how to ask for help, how to advocate for themselves, how to get a different perspective how to find someone to help them with this skill that they need to further develop. They need to be the ones asking for help. Now, you're guiding them and you're helping them identify people or resources, but at the end of the day, they are the ones that are the ones who are going to need to ask for help, and this is a very essential skill for students or teens any age, young or small. Now, again going back to the T-Chart if there are positives right, the things that they really like about this career is way longer, much longer than the reasons that they are afraid of or that's preventing them from continuing thinking about this career path then that's something to consider and to really help them and encourage them and motivate them. Now, if that negative list, or the side of the t-chart where the things that they don't like about this career is way greater or larger than the positive side, then, yeah, maybe it's time to reconsider a different option. Remember, help them find a mentor or someone that can help them explore the opportunities within the career, even thinking about job opportunities within that same career. That's just thinking outside the box. Finding a mentor is crucial in this process In general, honestly and I'll talk about this quite often on this podcast finding a mentor or someone within the field is always important, whether you're in high school or already in college.
Speaker 1:You need to have someone that you can connect with and ask direct questions about the career that you're interested in or the pathway that you're deciding to pursue. Now, if they decide to stick with it a program such as in high school not necessarily in college, because in college you still have options. Sometimes in high schools, if you're in a track or in a pathway, depending on your school, they might have you just stick with it, whether it fits for a semester or until complete the program. If that is the case, I want you and your team to think of it as an opportunity, not as, oh, my goodness, now I'm losing time and I'm not developing skills that I want to develop and this is not the career I want or the pathway. I want you to know that you still have options, even if you're stuck with a program for a semester or two. Use that time to gain transferable skills. This is so essential, my friends.
Speaker 1:I had a great guest on this podcast, on episode number 29, knowledge that Never Goes To Waste. That specifically talks about transferable skills, so you might want to check that out Now. According to Indeed, transferable skills or portable skills are qualities that can transfer from one job to another. Highlighting your transferable skills is especially important when changing jobs or industries, or, in this case, if your child is in high school and there isn't an opportunity to get out of the program right at this time, then focus on the transferable skills they are gaining. This can still be added to their resume and your child can always make it work in their favor, right, make it seem like this was all meant to happen. Remind them that employers, colleges they value transferable skills such as organization, communication, relationship building or attention to detail, to name a few. All right, my friend, I hope this has been encouraging for you and your teen. Remember, if you, as a parent, feel you still need that support, work with someone who can help you. A school counselor is a great choice, or a college and career coach like myself that works precisely with high school and college students directly to help them in creating clarity into their ideal career path. Remember, this is quite normal, especially after we take a look from a bigger lens and a bigger perspective on what we're actually seeing happening amongst first and second year college students. This happening in high school is actually a benefit in the long run.
Speaker 1:Remind yourself to first connect and ask questions. Ask why, what? How? Walk your teen through the process of their thoughts, their feelings and their behavior as they're thinking that this is not a great fit or that they want to change careers or pathways. The last step is to assess the situation and use the step-by-step process that I mentioned earlier. Assess with them what they like, what they don't like and what their options are at this time and how to move forward. And the best way to prevent your teen from completely dropping their career plan or choices they have made so far is to connect with them first. Connect open conversation with them on the things that they like and this like in their current projects, classes, activities in or outside of school can be a great learning opportunity. This can allow an opportunity of constant self-reflection, because, guess what? That is what high school years should be about An opportunity to discover themselves on what they like and even what they don't.
Speaker 1:Alright, my sweet friend, I hope you found this episode useful and helpful, and, if so, I would ask if you can please recommend the podcast episode to another parent of a high school student.
Speaker 1:Together, we can start making small changes in reframing so many situations that they can come across and to really empower and encourage our teens and our young adults. Alright, my sweet friend, that's it for this week, and don't forget to make sure you check out our bonus episode where we talk about how to file an appeal letter for financial aid when you and your family requires a little bit more money to finance the education of your child. Thank you for joining us, sweet friend, and, as always, stay well, be present and enjoy the journey. I'll talk to you next week. Hi friend, thank you for listening in. If you enjoyed this episode, it would mean so much to me. If you share it with a friend, share it with them right now or, even better, tag me so I can personally thank you for helping us build our community. I'm so thankful for each and every one of you. Let's keep in touch and I'll talk to you next week. Adios.