Love Connects

Love can't survive without connection.

In this episode, we take a look at the need for connection by taking a tour through Shanksville, Pennsylvania and ancient Babylon with a detour through the University of Washington.

Join me as we look at how to love better by learning about Daniel's rule of four.

"Remember, you are loved, so go, love better!"

Transcript

Ep 2 - Love Connects

[00:00:00] Scott Beyer: I'm Scott Beyer and this is the Love Better Podcast, where we explore the truths and the lies about love. And more importantly, how to make love a skill, something we can get better at and hone along the way.

[00:00:14] Scott Beyer: Near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, their lies alone field full of sugar, maples, wild flowers, hemlocks, and wildlife.

[00:00:24] Scott Beyer: It is the site of the United 93 crash. The fourth plane of September 11th, the plane that never reached its destination, the plane that held 33 passengers, seven crew members, and four hijackers. So much has been detailed about the events of September 11th. Every moment of those four flights has been documented.

[00:00:48] Scott Beyer: It's been scrutinized for both national security reasons and American. After the events of that day, everyone wanted to understand what had happened, and the reams of [00:01:00] documentation and countless hours of analysis are more extensive than anyone other than the FBI really needs. We aren't gonna look at all of the details of Flight 93.

[00:01:09] Scott Beyer: We're just gonna look at one. Passengers of Flight 93, made 37 calls in 28 minutes from nine 30 to nine 50. 12 of them made it through. Tom Burnett made several phone calls to his wife, Dina Burnett from row 24 and row 25, though he'd been assigned a seat in row four. Mark Bingham called his mother from Roe 25.

[00:01:37] Scott Beyer: Jeremy Glick called his wife from Rowe. 27. Todd Beamer called his wife from Roe 32, but was unable to reach her. He instead connected with GTE phone operator Lisa Jefferson. Todd recited the Lord's Prayer in the 23rd Psalm with her and encouraged others to join in flight attendant Cece Lyles called her husband Marion Britton [00:02:00] called her friend.

[00:02:01] Scott Beyer: Flight attendant, Sandra Bradshaw called her husband a pregnant passenger. Lauren Grand called her husband twice. Neither call reached him. Honor Elizabeth Winona called her stepmother in the last minutes of their lives. These good people attempted to do what we would all want to do, connect with the people they love.

[00:02:25] Scott Beyer: It is hard to talk about love in world where terrorists. Suffering, heartache, pain and senseless violence are cited as some of the primary reasons for people abandoning Christianity, and understandably so, the darkness can lead us to wonder where the light is. Why would God permit this to happen?

[00:02:45] Scott Beyer: Interestingly, Suffering also seems to have the reverse effect for most people. After the 2020 pandemic, a study was done by the Pew Research Group to see the impacted attitudes towards suffering. In light of the recent impact Covid 19 had had globally [00:03:00] upon the population. That study found that though most people are upset by suffering, the average American viewed suffering as a result of people not God.

[00:03:08] Scott Beyer: And perhaps just as importantly, we view suffering as something that both makes us sad and grateful. Suffering serves as a strong reminder to be thankful for what we have today. We're gonna talk about love in the midst of darkness. How do we love when the world isn't lovely? How do we get better at love when it seems there are many unlovable things happening all the time.

[00:03:31] Scott Beyer: And in order to do that, we're gonna have to visit ancient babble on. The year is 6 0 6 bc Babylon is an emerging superpower. They have invaded, asy and claimed world dominance, but their control is still tentative. Civil unrest exists in multiple areas of the empire, most notably Syria and Israel, who are claimed by both Babylon and Egypt.

[00:03:55] Scott Beyer: In an attempt to assert their strength while still showing themselves benevolent [00:04:00] masters. Nene King of Babylon conquers the capital of Israel and Deports roughly 3000 from Jerusalem, Royal families and nobility. The goal of this de deportation is the leadership, bring them back to Babylon and assimilate these Jewish nobles into Babylonian ambassadors.

[00:04:21] Scott Beyer: If you change the leadership, you change the loyalties. And love is all about loyalty. So what happens when four smart, handsome, competent young men leave Israel and head to Babylon? That's the whole point of the book of Daniel. Does the loyalty of Daniel, he Anaya Michelle L, and Asiah change when the scenery changes?

[00:04:46] Scott Beyer: All indications are that it would and it would be expected. Babylon does the three things most likely to encourage assimilation. One, they cut them off from their support system. Nothing remotely Jewish remains [00:05:00] in their life. The people, the culture, the language, even the landscape is different. Two, they are immersed in everything.

[00:05:07] Scott Beyer: Babylonian, even the names they are given are meant to honor the Babylonian gods. For example, the name Daniel means God is my judge, but his new name is Belt to Chaser. Bell guard his life. Anaya means God has favored his new name. Shandra means command of a coup. A coup is the Babylonian moon. God. means who is like God, but mek means who is what A coup is.

[00:05:35] Scott Beyer: Asiah means. Jehovah has helped, but Abednego means servant of Nebo. They're told to learn the language and the literature of the Calians, a three year education program in everything Babylonian. And as you and I know the winner, they write the history. These boys were saturated in the culture and patriotism of the Calen [00:06:00] Empire.

[00:06:01] Scott Beyer: And then comes the third thing, and I think. This is the really important one. Nene showers these young men with praise and comfort and luxury. They are praised for their good looks, for their intelligence. They're told they are the best of the best, and given the kind of education reserved only for the elite of society, nothing is withheld from them.

[00:06:25] Scott Beyer: They're given access to the exact same food as the king him. They're given a steward to handle their daily routine tutors for their education, and in the end, they are praised by Nene specifically as being 10 times more effective at their job than everyone else. At this point, I'm thinking Babylon is looking like a really, really great place to live, and assimilation should just be an easy choice, right?

[00:06:54] Scott Beyer: But it isn't. Instead these. Daniel Anaya, [00:07:00] Michelle and Asiah remain devout to the God of Israel. They love God and they refuse to abandon him for the other gods. This fascinates me, and here's why that's not normal. How do these men continue to love God when they are so far afield? I think the answer is connect.

[00:07:25] Scott Beyer: Babylon tried to disconnect them from God, but they refused. They staged their own private rebellion. They were disruptive. They continued to make connection wherever they could. The food they ate vegetables and water every time they ate a meal. It reconnected them to who they really were that fantastic Babylonian educational system.

[00:07:47] Scott Beyer: Well, Daniel used it to read and not just Babylonian things. He read Jeremiah's writings too. And those four men, well they stayed close. Daniel chapter two describes Daniel needing help interpreting one of [00:08:00] Nene's dreams, and I'm quoting here from Daniel two 17 through 18. Then Daniel went to his. And made the matter known to Hannah Anaya Michelle and Asiah his companions and told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery so that Daniel and his companions might not be destroyed with the rest of the Wiseman of Babylon.

[00:08:22] Scott Beyer: These guys. These guys lived in the same house and by doing so, they each connected with the other three followers of God that they knew. And they did it every day. And don't even get me started on Daniel's prayer habits, window, open face, Jerusalem three times a day, clockwork front of that guy. So if you're counting, that's four connection points they had with God.

[00:08:43] Scott Beyer: The food that they ate, the words that they read, the company they. And the prayers they prayed four touchpoints that connected them every day to the God of their fathers. I want you to remember that four touchpoints. There is some [00:09:00] fascinating work done by Dr. John Gottman of the University of Washington regarding relationships.

[00:09:05] Scott Beyer: In particular, Gottman studied romantic relationships. Gaman has studied couples in clinical environments as well as in their own homes and daily lives, and he found that all spouses make what he. Bids for attention. This can be as simple as turning toward each other to talk or grasping for attention by sharing something that will grab their attention.

[00:09:24] Scott Beyer: Did, did you see the neighbor's new dog sharing their accomplishments? Physical touch, like reaching out to Pata back or touch an arm and sharing stories about their day? What was really fascinating though is that Gottman started to be able to predict what marriages would be successful based upon how often they connected with those bids.

[00:09:45] Scott Beyer: Successful couples turned toward each other and their bids for attention. They connect. About 20 times more often on average than unsuccessful couples. To add to that, any response, even a neutral one, was better [00:10:00] than no response at all. Turns out happy marriages are built on connection, even if that connection isn't always fun or exciting.

[00:10:08] Scott Beyer: Furthermore, they found this principle of turning toward others, worked in other relationships. , they worked with your kids, they worked with your friendships. They even work in the workplace. How often do you connect with the bids of your spouse? If you wanna love better, you're gonna have to connect more often.

[00:10:28] Scott Beyer: How often do you connect with the bids of your kids? . If you want them to pick out a good nursing home, you better start doing it. How often do you connect and understand the people you work with? And I recommend what I'm going to call Daniel's, rule of four Connections are there at least four times. You are connecting with God, connecting with your spouse, connecting with your children every day.

[00:10:54] Scott Beyer: If not, Why not? And remember, not all of these connections need to [00:11:00] be intense and focused. I doubt Daniel thought about God every second. He was nibbling on broccoli instead of the king's food. But even that more passive connection offers opportunity to think about God. It was an act of rebellion against disconnection, and that is what we're really talking about here.

[00:11:20] Scott Beyer: A world that wants to disconnect us from each other. And from God, a world where as Jesus put it, sin will be rampant everywhere and the love of many will grow cold. You don't need me to tell you how easy it is to become disconnected from your spouse or your children or the church or God. You feel the pull of Babylon as much as I do, and it isn't any one thing.

[00:11:44] Scott Beyer: It's a combination of. Things, the discouragements, the suffering, the entertainment, the busyness of all of it. The 24 hours get spent on household chores in person or zoom workplace meetings, sports and entertainment activities in general [00:12:00] childcare. And by the time the time's up, we, we've done a lot of things with our day, but oftentimes we've connected very.

[00:12:08] Scott Beyer: When Peter tells husbands to live with their wives in an understanding way, the first part of that command is to live with not live around in Deuteronomy six, when God laid out how to raise Godly children, Moses said, You shall teach them diligently to your children and she'll talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.

[00:12:33] Scott Beyer: Well, that sure sounds like connecting with your children matters. And also if you're counting how many times you are, are supposed to try and connect with your kids when you sit, that's one when you walk, that's two. When you lie down, that's three. And when you. , that's four. Or in regard to a relationship with God, Paul would say to the Athenian masses that the whole reason God made mankind was that they should seek [00:13:00] God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him.

[00:13:03] Scott Beyer: Yet he is actually not far from each one of us. If we don't have touchpoints to connect with the relationships that. The darkness wins, and we can't wait to connect with people until life gets hard, because that is when we will need to lean on those relationships that we built during the good times. We can't wait until we are disconnected and alone.

[00:13:23] Scott Beyer: To start, we must connect and reconnect every day so that the bond grows. Now, if your marriage is cold, you can change it. If your children are distant, don't give up. If Daniel could make it work, We can too. Love better, love connects. If you've listened this far, hopefully we've done something to help make your life a little bit better.

[00:13:51] Scott Beyer: Would you mind returning the favor and helping us by subscribing to the podcast through your favorite platform? Sharing with others or leaving a review on Apple [00:14:00] Podcast, you help us reach more people. Also, if you want more information about the work I'm doing at Eastland, visit us at eastlandchristians.org or my personal Bible site, biblegrad.com, where you can sign up for daily Biblebite devotionals in your inbox, take online Bible classes or find videos that will help you study through the Bible throughout the year.

Until next time, remember, you are loved, so go love better.