New Swingers Podcast

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the show. I'm John,

Speaker 2 (00:01):
And I'm June.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
And today we're gonna talk about actually the little known relationship benefits of swinging. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, when people think of swingers swinging the lifestyle, whatever, most people who don't understand or know much about it, they tend to think it will destroy your relationship. And it's not that that can't happen. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, Um, in our experience, probably, I would say, if you already have an unhealthy relationship or you're, you're not communicating well, that can happen. But there are actually a surprising number of actual benefits, uh, that actually enhance your relationship, uh, because you're in the lifestyle. Yeah. And I was kind of shocked to hear that, but it's something we hear over and over again. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> from people in the lifestyle. And not only have we heard it, but we've actually found it to be true in our own relationship.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Oh, yeah, Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
And what's weird is I've tried to think through the psychology of a lot of these things, <laugh>, like, why does this work so well for so many people? We don't entirely understand. Mm. But what would your thoughts be Before we ever knew anything about swinging and someone said, Hey, you know what, If you get into the swinger lifestyle, it can actually enhance your relationship. June, what would your thoughts be?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah. Like what, what? Whatever. Yeah. Right. Like, there's no way, like, I wouldn't believe him.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah. Because it seems counterintuitive, right?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah. Like, like there's no way in hell that, that would make our relationship better. How would that, how would that happen? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
How, how could that possibly happen?

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
One thing you have to remember is that most of life is the narrative and you know, the story that we tell ourselves. Um, and we, we are told what we're supposed to think about a lot of different things. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we're also told how to perceive things, and we're also told, um, all about the potential consequences and things, uh, of, of doing certain things. Now, it's not that those things don't happen, but it's not that they happen every time, all the time with everybody either.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
But we're usually just kind of sold one side of the story.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh, yeah. And always the negative.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah. It's always, it's always the negative mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it's not that we shouldn't look out for that, but, you know, just because I might get into a car accident on the way to the grocery store doesn't mean I'm not going to the grocery store.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
And if there are people around me going, Brian, don't go to the grocery store. You might get in a car accident on the way there at this. All I ever hear, I'm gonna get those fucking people outta my life.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Yeah. Cause

Speaker 1 (02:44):
You're, you're a bunch of negative Nancys. Sorry for your name's Nancy <laugh>, you're fear monger. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I mean, you're, you're, you. At best. You're a control. Freaking and manipulator. Maybe. Maybe that's the reason. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
<affirmative>.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
So we're gonna talk about some of these benefits of swinging today and how we've actually seen our relationship enhanced.

Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
And this is, as people who were skeptics coming into this mm-hmm. <affirmative> who just sort of jumped in and were like, Hey, that'll be different. Fuck it. Let's try this new thing together. And we were strong enough together. We've never doubted that, you know, it would do anything detrimental to us. I would just we're that we're that strong together, we're, we were both confident. It's not going to, uh, affect us in that way. Yeah. So, benefit number one of swinging. Would you like to read that?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Sure, Baby. Um, we love each other more, and I think it's because we're, we are really being ourselves transparently in front of each other, and it's okay. And we actually fully know the deepest parts of each other. Yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Well, it, it, yeah. It, I don't know. It forces you to be transparent, like in that lifestyle. It in the lifestyle, it forces you to be that way.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah. It's kind of like, it's kind like, it, it, it, it facilitates talking on a deeper level, uh, by default. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> then I think a lot of couples naturally talk about things. Yeah. Cause like, there are a lot of couples, There's, there's things that, like, they both know, but they don't, they don't fucking go there. And they both know they're not gonna go there. Yeah. Uh, whether no matter what the topic is mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like people, people, they just, they're not gonna talk about certain things. They know the hot button things not to bring up.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
And depending on what that is, that could be the best case sometimes. Other times it just be, it be just becomes this, this growing monster that just grows and grows silently over the years until one day it just destroys everything. Um, you know, when in reality it's like, gosh, if you would've just talked Yeah. In the beginning when this thing was, when this monster was an infant mm-hmm. <affirmative>, maybe you wouldn't have this horrible war on your hands now, whatever that might look like.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
So you love me more.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, baby.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Cause you've seen what's out there and you're like, Damn, I've got the best at home.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well,

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Just kidding. <laugh>.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
He's kidding. But it's actually true. <laugh>. I, I totally feel

Speaker 1 (05:18):
That way. It sounds way better when you make a statement like that than you

Speaker 2 (05:22):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Well, and that's another thing. Like, I know we're not getting into myths that we believe about it, that's another episode. But, um, there, there, that's actually like a fear. People have. Um, what if we get into the lifestyle and my spouse or partner, um, ends up finding that, Oh, there's other good things out there too. And there's, it goes back to that fear of what if they leave

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative> being replaced.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and another episode we actually talked about that. Yeah. Um, where that actually, that was, that was there with us as I think it is with most, most people. But after talking it through, we realized like that's, even though it was there, that it actually wasn't valid for us. It actually wasn't a real thing.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah. But we were communicating, you know, which leads us to the next point, which is communication is a hundred percent. We were communicating on a deeper level with things that, things that you normally just wouldn't talk. That we just, I mean, in the lifestyle, I mean, before the lifestyle, we just weren't talking about certain things. And then when you earn the lifestyle, now, it's like, now it's things that you would never even think about talking about. Now you're that you're coming, you know, now it's bringing those to the surface and you're, and we're talking about those together.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah. It's like when me, me and June, you know, we, we read together sometimes. And so we would read a book together. Um, and one thing that would do is it would oftentimes bring up a topic we didn't know it was going to bring up, but it was a discussion point that neither of us would've wanted to bring up. Because by bringing it up, it may have caused the other person to go, Wait a minute, why are we even talking about this? And so even just bringing up certain subjects can be threatening between people depending on the situation. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but you know, like reading books together. Yeah. Like as a third party, it sort of brings up, um, not necessarily issues, just topics that are good to discuss, but we wouldn't normally bring up to ourselves. And the, the lifestyle does the same thing. Yeah. Like experiences at a club or wherever we are, a lifestyle event or a, a story we hear from a friend who's in a lifestyle. It gives us something to talk about and think about. But neither of us had had to bring it up. But because we talked about it, it was really good. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Definitely.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. And, you know, there's obviously also, um, personal boundaries in the lifestyle. And when you actually start talking about boundaries mm-hmm. <affirmative> with your spouse, um, those are discussions you probably wouldn't ever have otherwise. But like, I, like we said, it brings up your communication. It elevates it a lot higher than most people. And you know, we, we actually, we didn't have bad communication. No. Um, we're actually really good communicators, <laugh>, but it made our communication even better.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah. It did. Well. Yeah. Cuz like, you know, I've, I don't think I'm like perfect at it at all. And I'm, and I'm still improving with it, but I think like, some of it was like, Okay, I, I don't wanna come at John pissed off and Flint and, and guns are blazing. I need to be able to tell him how I feel, but, but I need to stay calm about it because if, if I come at it guns blazing, he's gonna come guns blazing back at me and not even wanna have to hear anything I have to say.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yeah. Like me telling me, just telling you to calm down doesn't usually help the

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Situation <laugh>. No, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Then again, if you call me guns blaze and I, I, the other person naturally has an inclination to defend themselves.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah. Yeah. So I've, I've, I've learned to, to really, to really work on, work on like that withdrawn. So like that's, I don't think that was listed on there, but that's, well, part of the communication, I guess just that, you know, I've, I've learned to communicate calmer with things that maybe bother me.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah. It's not just always what you say, It's also how you say it. Yeah. So you can say the right thing in the wrong way. And, uh, married men, you know, what's up here, <laugh>. Um, if she didn't get it and you're like, Oh, I just said very clearly what I was thinking. But the way I said it, she may have heard me, but she did not receive my message. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And now that is still problematic. Yeah. Yeah. And that can actually keep you back from communicating clearly, because now you have this little war going on, these little battles and fires that you're trying to put out. Um, just because, you know, something was, was said, but it was misinterpreted to mean something else. And by the way, um, June, uh, did something yesterday that was, uh, quite heartfelt <laugh> or not, you didn't feel it in your heart, felt,

Speaker 2 (10:30):
You felt I felt it somewhere else. That's for sure.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
You felt it somewhere else. Um, would you like to, uh, give the announcement? Let's, uh, let's tell them what you chose to do yesterday.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
I got my nipples pierced. <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
And why did you get your, what, what leads, what leads a woman to just wake up one day and go, You know what? Fuck it. I'm getting my nipples pierced. <laugh>. Because it doesn't seem like that would feel very good and it might be a little

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Scary. It didn't, it did not feel good. It is still extremely sore. Um, I, well, John's birthday is coming up like this week, and so I was like, Well, what can I get for him? I'm like, He has enough whiskey, shot glasses, coffee mugs, <laugh>. So I'm like, trying to think of what can I get for him that would be more like, I don't know, like that he, besides more joy

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Besides like, just more guns and ammo. Just more shit. Yeah. Guns and ammo and, uh, you know, manly stuff. <laugh>, you know, whiskey, vodka shot glasses. Yeah. And so she, uh, got that cute little look in her eye a couple days ago, and she's like, you know, I've been thinking about something. And I'm, if you've listened to any of our other episodes, when, when she gets that little grin on her face and she covers her face and she has that, that little giggle right there, <laugh>, that usually means she thought of a, a new kinky fantasy she wants to try mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And she's about to tell me, but she's embarrassed or shy. But every time she does anyway, and I love it. Well, if she had that again, So I'm thinking, Oh yeah, all right. What is it

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Now?

Speaker 1 (12:23):
And she said,

Speaker 2 (12:25):
I said, What do you think about if I got my nipples pierced for your birthday gift?

Speaker 1 (12:33):
And my dick spoke for me when he got rock hard instantly.

Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yes, it did.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
I was like, Uh, yeah, that's really hot. And then I was like, You would actually do that for me. Like, are you serious? Like you would, because that's no small thing. I mean, number one, she, she's figured out since us being in the lifestyle that I absolutely love ladies with pierce nipples. It is so hot. <laugh>. Um, and then I told her, Well, if you're willing to do that for me, Well, if that isn't love, then I don't know what love is, <laugh>. Uh, because shit

Speaker 2 (13:14):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (13:15):
And she did it.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
She did it. Yep. And she did really well. I think she has a really high pain tolerance. I think most women probably do. You know, guys, we win a lot. So do women. But you in particular, you've, you've always had a pretty high pain tolerance as far as taking pain and not being real vocal about it and just taking it. Um, just over the years I've seen it, I'm like, Wow. She like handled that like <laugh>, you know,

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Even the, the person who pierced him, he, same thing. He, he was saying that, he's like, Oh, you, you did real good with that. I'm thinking he have no idea how much that fucking hurt. <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
Well, tell, tell, tell, tell how he told you to lay on on the, the, the, the, We went to a tattoo par. So she was in a, a tattoo chair, but it laid down flat. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (14:05):
<affirmative>. I was laying on my back,

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Laying her back. Do you remember how he told you to lay? You said, he said, Go ahead and, uh, do me a favor and just like, put your hands on your butt. Like go and lay on your hand.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Lay on your butt. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Well lay hands. Lay on your, lay on your hands. Yeah. Why do he tell you to put your hands under your butt and just lay on them?

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Because he says he's gotten hit and punched <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Some people kick and swing and punch <laugh> because it apparently fucking hurts when you plunge a needle through

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Your nipple. It fucking hurt. I'm not gonna lie. It really did. Um, and the second one hurt worse because he counted and said, Okay, take a deep breath. I'm like, Dude, why didn't you just do the, what the fuck you did the first time on the first nipple and you didn't count on nothing and you're just like, Here we go. And like, he just put the clamp on and didn't count and just went for it. Well, he counted the second time. So of course that one hurt worse. <laugh>. I'm like, Shit, don't do that. <laugh>,

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Because you were like anticipating it.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
Yeah. So it's hot. And I'll tell you this, this is actually, this is why actually, it meant a lot to me. There are like, there were three reasons. Um, I was really amazed. Well, I, I told her that that's the best birthday gift anyone's ever gotten me. Aww. And it was for three reasons. And the first reason isn't the obvious one. While that's hot <laugh>, uh, that's the third reason actually. And it is hot. They look great.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
You're

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Welcome. Because <laugh>, you have 34 double Ds and, sorry, 32. 32, sorry. Okay. Sorry.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
I lost 30 pounds. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Yeah. So yeah. So you have this beautiful small figured body with these 32 double Ds and silver dollar nipples that now have nipple studs in them. And, uh, you look amazing. And so that is so hot. <laugh>. Here's, here's the first reason. First two reasons. It, it was such an amazing gift to me. First of all, she thought of it all on her own based on knowing me. What turns me on things I like. It was her idea. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Secondly, it came at a great personal price that being literal physical pain she endured, uh, temporarily. But it was nonetheless very painful. Um, pretty intense for her to do. But she did that because she wanted to do something for me that she knew I'd like, like you put yourself through that and thought of me. And the third reason is obviously it's fucking <laugh>. And I was like, Wow, I'm so glad your birthday isn't for several months. And, uh, I, I don't know, I don't think I have the gut to do for you what you did for me. I

Speaker 2 (16:56):
Don't know. Yeah. I wanna do a Prince Albert. Oh.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Oh my God. Oh, I, uh, I don't like needles near the dick in balls.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
I don't believe needles or knives belong down there,

Speaker 2 (17:07):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
But if you love, if I loved you enough, if you know, I just hope you, uh, you never ask for

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Something like that. No, <laugh>. It's, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
<laugh>. I don't know how much you would enhance our, our sex life together. Uh, unless you had like a super kink for it. Like, then I'd be like, Okay. Hmm. I'll just drink a bunch of vodka before we walk in the door. Like you did Uhhuh <affirmative> and, um, call it a, call it a day. <laugh>. So, yeah. How are, how are those pure nipples feeling?

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Uh, they're pretty sore. Yeah. Yeah. And like, I, you delay on your back cuz I'm a side sleeper, so that was kind of the hard part last night was trying to fall asleep because I can't sleep on my side cuz I don't like, wanna like, lay on the piercing, like on the, on the studs. So I had to lay on my back the whole time. So that was like kind of uncomfortable trying to like, get comfortable laying on your back when you're a side sleeper <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:05):
But it's worth, it was all worth it and it'll be worth it when they're not sore anymore and Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah. We should

Speaker 2 (18:13):
Change 'em out for the smaller ones. Cuz I guess they ran out of the smaller studs. So I have the bigger ones in right now. <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Yeah. On top of getting them pierced, they're like, Oh, we only have the big studs. Like, Oh, that's ideal.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Like of course you only have those of course

Speaker 2 (18:29):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (18:29):
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Speaker 1 (19:19):
So we're talking about the benefits of swinging today mm-hmm. <affirmative>, and the first one we talked about was that we just love each other more than we normally did before, which was already a lot. And so, um, we, we think that had a lot to do with knowing deeper parts of each other on a different level. Yeah. Uh, because we, it's required so much communication, which was the second point. Our communication is really a hundred percent. It's, it's, it's always been good, but it's even better now. Absolutely. And learned not just how to say what we feel, but, you know, different ways to say it so that the messages are received better, which creates a better relationship. And then the third little known benefit to swinging for our relationship mm-hmm. <affirmative> has been, we've, we started physically taking better care of ourselves. Um, and our health, again, it's not that we really ever let ourselves go, um, but in a way we, we kind of did mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but now we're both pretty fit. Um, not exactly where we wanna be, but we, if you see us out in public, and when you look at us, you'll, you'll look at us in generally go, oh, they're in pretty good shape.

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah. I So not where I wanna be, Not where you wanna be, but we're not.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
Well, and when you say that you're talking a few pounds, like literally, like for you, you're talking literally like two or three pounds of like your, your, your current goal, your current goal weight as of this recording. Yeah. You're, you're in like the single lower single digits from away from your goal mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so, um, but talk about that. Like, we started physically taking better care of ourselves. You started working out on some of the equipment in our garage. Yeah. Why do you think that is?

Speaker 2 (21:07):
Well, I mean, I, I think it comes down to whatever you're attracted to. Um, I feel like that would you, how am I trying to say this? Um, whatever you're attracted to, um, that will probably come to you. So if, if you're like somebody, like for me, for my personal preference, I, um, I like fit people, like people who, who work out who, who eat good and take care of themselves. If I want to be, if I wanna play with somebody that is that same way, then I need to be that in return.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah. And that's not always the case, but in general, in general in life, we tend to attract what we are. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
And so it's like, if, if we take care of ourselves, you know, then other, when we meet other people who also take care of themselves, there's prob there's a higher probability there's going to be more of a mutual attraction there. Yeah. Like, it's funny cuz you know, June and I, we, we, we like the same kind of women. We discover <laugh>, we, you know, skinny white women or fit white women. Now color doesn't matter, we don't discriminate obviously. But if we could have, like, if someone was to line up and go describe the girl you both wanna share and play with, it would be a skinny slash fit. Uh, ideally, you know, Caucasian woman. Um, again, but all, all colors are beautiful and we love it, but it's like, what's our go to when we're fantasizing? It just happens to be

Speaker 2 (22:47):
Charlie staring, Natalie Portman, Jennifer Aniston. Yeah. That kind of type.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah. Yeah. And so like imagine meeting somebody who's really attracted to, but, and, and you really try to take care of yourself. Um, but then even though they're nice, maybe, maybe it's pretty evident that they don't take care of themselves, but if they did a little bit, like you, you, there might be more of a mutual attraction. Yeah. Um, and that's not to say

Speaker 2 (23:16):
That's not the case for everybody.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah. And it's not. And we learned that recently. Um, Oh yeah. We talked about in the, in the previous episode mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But I mean, some people you meet in the lifestyle you just, you're just friends with. Yeah. Um, others become friends with benefits mm-hmm. <affirmative> and, uh, lots of fun. But we just figure like, you know, it's like when I remember being younger and dating, being single, it's like you always want to show up with your best foot forward. You always want to present yourself. Well, you always wanna take care of yourself.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
No, it's not very attractive when if you take care of yourself and you're putting your best forward and the people you meet, it just kind of seems like they don't care. Like they didn't, they didn't really try. And so it's kind of like, oh, okay, well, you know, and again, everyone has different physical, uh, preferences, you know? Yes. You know, again, we're just talking about, you know, mine in June's preference here, but we started kind of looking at our physical health and going, Well, what do we want? We know in general in life, we tend to attract what we are. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Well if we're wanting other, you know, fit or skinnier, uh, body types to be attracted to us. Well a lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them are going to be a lot like us as well mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so it's like, well, let's make sure we're taking care of ourselves and being a little more strict on our eating and our physical activity, you know, to make sure that, you know, hey, it's like, um, if we, if we meet the right people and, uh, that we put our best forward. Yeah. You know, phy physically speaking and so Absolutely. Yeah. So the next one is, uh, the fourth one is that

Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh yeah. So yeah. So we became a lot less judgemental people and instead we're more curious and loving and accepting.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Yeah. And, and we mean, we mean that in a few ways mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we became a lot less judgemental of ourselves

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
Of each other and of other people. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and their preferences or whatever it is they like, or their thing in the lifestyle or sexually, you know, there are a lot of people who like things very different sexually than we do. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> or they're into way different kinks that just aren't our thing. We, we don't ever kink shame because, well, number one, we realize everybody has kinks and most people probably have no fucking idea why their kink is their kink. Yeah. Like, like we've had enough experience sexually that we're like, Man, we don't, we don't understand why I like the sing. Or she likes this thing, or together we like this thing we just do.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
Like, why, why do I like wearing a collar with the leash and him walking me around the club on the leash? I just love it. I don't know why it's just hot because it makes me feel loved and accepted and belong, belong to

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah. Like

Speaker 2 (26:12):
I'm, I am John's and I'm, you know, it's, it's that, that feeling of belonging in loving.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Yeah. She likes to feel like she's owned, like she's someone's property that she belongs mm-hmm. <affirmative> and that happens to be the physical expression of that mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so, Well why, why does she have that we don't entirely know mm-hmm. <affirmative> and it really doesn't matter what you like is what you like. Yeah. And so once we started realizing things in ourselves mm-hmm. <affirmative>, then we could actually talk to each other and you know, she said that and I would tell her something about me, like, Well, hey, like I love being rough with you and grabbing your hair. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> doing things like that. And then all of a sudden she's like, Well, I like to be controlled. I'd like to be prayed around on a collar and own and controlled. Yeah. So now we're like, Wait, you mean our kinks are in alignment?

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Yeah. Like they actually feed off each other. Well that enhances a relationship. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And because we understand that we don't understand ourselves or each other entirely when it comes to our kinks. When we see someone at the club who's maybe way out in left field or what we would consider way out of the box with their kink, there's usually an initial shock factor giving given how, how strange it might seem to us, because maybe we don't have a lot of experience around that. But we, you know, there might be a little shock factor at first. Like, Oh wow, look what they're wearing or whatever the case, but then we remember and go, Hey, we don't know why their kink or their preference is what it is because we don't even know why ours are ours.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
And so it it just feels better. Yeah. It's like, because we were raised in such a judgemental mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, upbringing religiously like, it, it just feels good not to judge the fuck out of people. Oh my

Speaker 2 (28:03):
God.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
It does. Because of whatever they, they're into.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
I mean, honestly it was, it's, it was always exhausting to, to just always be judgemental. Like, because of being grew up in the church world. Like, it, it was just always just like mentally like exhausting.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Yeah. And here's the thing, we had no idea how fucking tired and exhausted we were because it's all we'd ever known. Oh yeah. Then once we got in the lifestyle, started meeting people and found out they were great people and then you're like, Oh, that's their kink. Okay. You're kind of trying not to like, make an expression cuz maybe it's new to you mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you go, Man, that person is a really amazing person, but wait, they're into that. We don't get that. But like we saw the person before the, the, the, what we would call the weird kink or the Yeah. The kink by weird, I mean the kink that we are not familiar with. Yeah. But because we got to know them a bit, we actually had the opportunity to start asking, Hey, can you tell us why you're into that? Yeah. Like, what's the origin of that? Can you explain? And now, now we're talking and having, uh, conversations and learning about people and kind of what's led them to where they are.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
And that's a, that's a great thing because so many judgemental things we're taught in life growing up, um, teaches us to sort of distance ourselves from people. And what that does is it allows us to, to more easily dehumanize them and then vilify them. You know, it's like, you know, when you go to war it's like, you know, your enemy's not human. They're fucking monsters. And some of them are, it's far easier to shoot a monster than to shoot someone who, you know, also has a wife and kid at home and who's hoping they'll come home mm-hmm. <affirmative> and things like that. Yeah. But it's, the more we can, the more we get separated from each other, the easier it is to dehumanize each other, be divided and do bad things to each other and just not get along. And we've just learned that, you know, as we learn about more people in the lifestyle, like we become a lot less judge and just, Hey, we don't have to understand you, but as long as you're a safe person mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, to be rum, it's kind of like the, uh, kind like the, uh, that that root off the red nose reindeer that

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh yeah. That

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Old, uh, cartoon.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
He wants to be a dentist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Herbie want Herbie. The elf wants to be a dentist.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
And Rudolph has a red nose mm-hmm. <affirmative> for which he's an outcast because of it. And Rudolph, I remember asked Herby, he said, Well, wait, you don't mind my red nose? You don't, you don't mind my red nose. And Herby says, Well, not as, as long as you don't mind me being a dentist. And Rudolph's like, Hey, I'm cool with that. Yeah. And they were friends. Yeah. Well, I know it's a funny little comparison, but it's the same thing. It

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Is. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Because, you know, they were both wanting to be accepted.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Yes. That's the bottom line

Speaker 1 (30:51):
For, for what they were.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
So the last thing here, so we talked about we, the benefits, the little known benefits of swinging. We love each other more. Communication is way better. Even though it was already good, we started physically taking better care of ourselves and our health again, we, we, we became a lot less judgemental people and instead more curious and loving and accepting of other people.

Speaker 2 (31:13):
And here's my favorite one is the last one, <laugh>. We can't keep our damn hands to ourselves. And it and that, and that's even just here at home, like just the two of us. It's just like we're always touching each other and kissing on each other and hugging each other and holding each other's hands and just all over each other even more than we ever were before. I mean, and like I said, we we're always, we were like that before, but not, not nearly as much as we are now.

Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah. And that, it's weird to me mm-hmm. <affirmative> because I don't understand why like, we'll be walk, I'll be walking through the kitchen and June will be at the sink now. Like I'll smack her ass or I'll grab her from behind and just like wrap my arms around her and kiss her. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> or she'll walk up and like grab my dick while I'm like walking through the house. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> or, uh, random blow jobs anywhere, everywhere she's down for everything.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Or the hot robe he wears that hugs his ass really well. And I'm always like slapping it and grabbing it. <laugh>, <laugh>

Speaker 1 (32:16):
And untying. The little, the little felt, the little fuzzy belt on it so it falls open. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And if I just got outta bed, you know, we sleep naked because why not? Because, Yeah. Yeah. And so yeah, it's usually pretty fun. But yeah, there's all those little touchy feely things. Like we're usually like our hands are just all over each other.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
In every way. Like, we're just in, we always were good with that. Yeah. But now it's just like more intense mm-hmm. <affirmative> and Yeah. We don't know why you're, she's touching me right now.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
You're welcome. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
We're getting handsy on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (32:53):
Well

Speaker 1 (32:55):
We're not doing video, so, uh, Yeah. Otherwise we'd have to charge for that. Mm.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
So anyway, these have been the five little known benefits of swinging that can enhance your relationship.

Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
That most people just don't think about. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
<affirmative>.

Speaker 1 (33:12):
So we love each other more. Communication is way better. And a hundred percent we started physically taking better care of ourselves and our health again. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we became a lot less judgemental of people and we can't seem to keep our hands off each other and, and do things sexually with each other. It's just,

Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah. <laugh>, I mean, we're having sex way more than we, I mean we always had great sex at least, you know, two, three times a week. But now it's minimum. I mean, Yeah. Now it's more like

Speaker 1 (33:41):
How many times did we have sex this week?

Speaker 2 (33:43):
Oh my god. I don't know. Like six or seven. Yeah. At least.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah,

Speaker 2 (33:49):
We did yesterday. We're like, okay, there's, we need to break <laugh> for a couple days.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
It's like, we've done it so much.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
We've, it's like

Speaker 1 (33:56):
Why is it so much harder to get there right now? It's like, cuz your body needs a break.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Gotta build, backed up that mojo and arousal. Cuz you've been getting so much of it lately, so. Yes.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
Cause I can't get enough of you baby.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
That's right. Baby can't get enough of each other. So I hope you've enjoyed this and, uh, think about this in your own relationship. Yeah. As you, as you step into swinging, uh, these things we've mentioned, by the way, again, these are not uncommon among swinger couples. These are very common benefits that again, we don't totally understand mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but they happen and they can be true for you as well. Yeah. Um, if you work through any, any, any, you know, obstacles you might have and enjoy the lifestyle.

New Swingers Podcast

10- 5 Little-Known Ways The Swinger Lifestyle Can Enhance Your Relationship And Make Your Sex Life Sizzle!

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