Being a single guy in the swinger lifestyle can be tough & frustrating. Single guys at swinger clubs often get a bad wrap, but it isn't always their fault. In this episode of the New Swingers Podcast, we give single guys in the swinger lifestyle practical success tips for making more friends at swingers clubs so they can end up in the middle of hot and heavy playtimes more often!
(YOU CAN ALSO FIND ALL OF THE RESOURCES BELOW AT: https://www.newswingerspodcast.com)
***SEE JUNE'S PIERCED NIPPLES RIGHT NOW ON HER ONLYFANS PAGE, CLICK HERE!
**NEW SWINGER COACHING! Overcome Insecurities Faster & Get Your Questions Answered With Personal Swinger Coaching From John & June. CLICK HERE To Learn More...
*GET THE FREE "SWING-EASY" 2-PG PDF GUIDE! We Show You The 3 Easiest Ways To Find & Connect With Other Like-Minded Swinger Couples In Your Area In The Next 24 Hours (or less, GUARANTEED)! CLICK HERE!
GUYS, Are You Having a HARD Time Staying HARD? CLICK HERE & Use The Code "NEW" At Checkout To Get $30 OFF Your Order of FDA-Approved ED Medication So You Can Stay Harder Longer And Drive Your Sex Partners Wild!
*"VODKA HELPS" T-SHIRTS, CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS NOW!
***Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a quick rating & review and SUBSCRIBE so we can reach more people just like you and notify you when we publish the next episode!
***Have Questions About The Swinger Lifestyle? Send Us An Email To Possibly Get Your Question Featured On The Show (Always Anonymously- so no worries there!).
Send us an email at: NewSwingersPodcast@gmail.com right now!
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!
https://twitter.com/NewSwingersPod
*Some links may contain affiliate links, but we only recommend programs & services we personally use & love and know will help you on your swinging journey! :)
Being a single guy in the swinger lifestyle can be tough & frustrating. Single guys at swinger clubs often get a bad wrap, but it isn't always their fault. In this episode of the New Swingers Podcast, we give single guys in the swinger lifestyle practical success tips for making more friends at swingers clubs so they can end up in the middle of hot and heavy playtimes more often!
(YOU CAN ALSO FIND ALL OF THE RESOURCES BELOW AT: https://www.newswingerspodcast.com)
***SEE JUNE'S PIERCED NIPPLES RIGHT NOW ON HER ONLYFANS PAGE, CLICK HERE!
**NEW SWINGER COACHING! Overcome Insecurities Faster & Get Your Questions Answered With Personal Swinger Coaching From John & June. CLICK HERE To Learn More...
*GET THE FREE "SWING-EASY" 2-PG PDF GUIDE! We Show You The 3 Easiest Ways To Find & Connect With Other Like-Minded Swinger Couples In Your Area In The Next 24 Hours (or less, GUARANTEED)! CLICK HERE!
GUYS, Are You Having a HARD Time Staying HARD? CLICK HERE & Use The Code "NEW" At Checkout To Get $30 OFF Your Order of FDA-Approved ED Medication So You Can Stay Harder Longer And Drive Your Sex Partners Wild!
*"VODKA HELPS" T-SHIRTS, CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS NOW!
***Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a quick rating & review and SUBSCRIBE so we can reach more people just like you and notify you when we publish the next episode!
***Have Questions About The Swinger Lifestyle? Send Us An Email To Possibly Get Your Question Featured On The Show (Always Anonymously- so no worries there!).
Send us an email at: NewSwingersPodcast@gmail.com right now!
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!
https://twitter.com/NewSwingersPod
*Some links may contain affiliate links, but we only recommend programs & services we personally use & love and know will help you on your swinging journey! :)
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today we are talking about single guy Swinger Clubs success tips. I am John, and
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm June.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
This is a little more complimentary of a, uh, episode for single guys in a lifestyle who we want to, uh, go to swinger clubs mm-hmm. <affirmative> and have success, or have the best chance they can. I know we did one, uh, what was it, Episode two or something like that. And it was pretty much called Guys Don't Be a Fucking Weirdo. Yeah. And we had had a, a few like consecutive experiences of guys just being fucking weirdos. And so it was a lot about what not to do. Yeah. Well, in this episode we wanna talk a lot about what to do. We wanna flip the script mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because I know that if I were a single guy, like if, if you and I didn't know each other, I couldn't get in on the couples nights. And so I, I'm thinking like, what, what would, what would I do that I think would give me the best chance of success meeting either a single lady or a couple whatever reason you're there for.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Um, but coming, coming at it from the perspective of, uh, a guy, obviously in, in a couple's relationship, our relationship mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So, um, you know, June is really not into single guys and so we can't really speak to that through experience, but we know enough people and we've been in the club enough mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, to see a lot of what not to do. Yeah. But we also we're also thinking to ourself what, like what would, what would work or what actually would get your foot in the door and up your chances of standing out from the rest of the mm-hmm. <affirmative>, the million single guys. Um, cuz no offense to the single guys, but in the lifestyle it kind of seems like they're, they're just kind of a dime a dozen. Oh yeah. There, there's like an overpopulation, which is why I think they kind of sometimes get treated the way they do. There's, it's just like a supply and demand thing where there's just tons of single guys and unfortunately there's a handful of single guys that fuck up enough where it kind of gives a lot of, even good single guys just kind of a bad rap. And they have to Yeah. Kind of fight even harder, you know? Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
<affirmative>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And so we would really wanna take on more of a, a coaching guide approach to you today if you're a single guy listening to this. And, um, Yeah. You just, so you can have the best chance of success. I mean, you pay all the money you get in, into the club and, you know, you're looking to, uh, have some fun, meet some people and, uh, that can be, uh, pretty difficult from what we're told. Yeah. So, um, yeah. What would you say is like one of the first things, June, we wanna hear a lot from June here cuz she's the lady. So what do you think is one of the first things that, that you notice?
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Um, are they dressed well?
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Are they dressed well? Okay. Yeah. So tell me what, tell me what you mean by dressed well, what does that look like to you?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Um,
Speaker 1 (03:00):
As a mil, what does that look like to you? <laugh>,
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Um, <laugh>, I thank you. My love <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You're welcome. What can I say? I'm, I'm a mill hunter
Speaker 2 (03:10):
<laugh>. Um, I, to me it means, um, they, they have like maybe a, like, I don't even have to be like a dress shirt per se, just like even just a button down, like, just like a polo shirt, um, or a button down shirt. Um,
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Depending on the club you go to,
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Depending on the cl. Yeah. Some
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Come up, like when we go, the one we go to has a dress code. Yes. And so you'll wanna make sure you're in line with that mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Speaker 2 (03:36):
But yeah, like a nice shirt, you know, nice pair of jeans, you know, or dress pants. But, you know, even jeans are fine as long as it doesn't hold a bunch of holes in 'em and stuff. You don't kind of wanna look tacky. Um, Yeah. Just, just,
Speaker 1 (03:51):
And by, again, by tacky, uh, the one, the, the, the, the club we go to, it is kind of an upscale club, so mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I don't even think they'd let, they wouldn't let you pass the front door. Uh, if you wear like jeans with holes on 'em. Yeah. We don't know about other clubs. Maybe they're not as strict on dress code. Maybe they might, I think maybe depending on the environment, but we just don't know.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yeah. I mean, I wear jeans with holes, but, you know, and can make it Dr can dress it up a little bit, but still I don't even wear those to the club. So, um, but yeah, just dressing like, the first thing I would say is like, dressing nice, like that you, you're taking care of yourself, like you, you're dressing nice.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
So we covered the dress thing. Um, is there anything else that's like the first thing you notice when you see a guy that you go, Huh, that's kind of attractive? Like, what is it that I guess you initially notice about a guy that kind of like peaks your interest on the surface level?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I think if he's dressed nice, I think if he's dressed nice it means that he, that they, they like, they, it means they care. Like they, they, they took the time to pick out something nice to wear. They didn't just like throw in a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt on to, to get into, get into the club, like the club. So, I don't know, it just, it matters because it, it makes it seem as if they care about, I don't know that they care, I guess.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Well, I guess I, yeah, I see what you're saying because I mean, I guess maybe what, what woman wants to put herself together and do herself up and put up, put all that time and effort in, and then the guys who show up, it's like, you can tell they put almost no fucking time Yeah. Into their appearance mm-hmm. <affirmative> or anything. They're hygiene <laugh>, um, you know, don't have a fresh haircut, didn't shave. Yeah. I mean, it's like, they really didn't try, like how attractive is that?
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It's, it's not, Yeah. It's not attractive.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I mean,
Speaker 2 (05:55):
I mean, it takes me like an hour every time we go, like to get all dolled up, all dressed up, figure out perfect outfit to wear everything, shoes, all of that. And the dude just shows up in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I'm like, uh, no,
Speaker 1 (06:10):
<laugh>. They're not, they're not even that. Like, cuz that is kind of a low ball extreme. You're walking around looking like Adam Sandler on a day after he is hungover, you know, walking down the streets of Hollywood. Like, you know, it's like unshaven and all that. Like, like, no guy's really gonna show up at least, at least at the club we go to like that.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah. But I know that was a high extreme, but I just wanted him to kind of get the point. Like,
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, it's, and, and it's kind of, I think it's one of those things in life. Like if you really, if you're really going for something you really want, and it's important to you, you put in the effort
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
To increase your, your chances and the, the probability that you're going to succeed as much as possible. And it's, and a lot of times it's just, it's a lot of these little things that you do, um, that can lead up to that. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah. And it also feels good to look good and yeah, like we said, others like to see that you actually put in effort to coming into the club to, you know, that night mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I know, you know, as a previously single guy, it's been years, but, you know, one of the biggest fears of any man is getting rejected by a woman. Mm. It's like, we'll do almost anything to avoid that. Uh, we don't wanna have to put ourselves in that position, but if you're a single guy in a swinger club, you're going to find yourself in that position. So you need to navigate your way through that and find a way to do that. But that is one of the scariest things, admittedly for, for most guys, that they're being brutally honest. Like, I'd rather almost do anything than risk getting rejected by a beautiful woman. Um, it, I don't, may it is, maybe it's just me, but I, I think it's a lot of guys and so
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah. This, this can really, uh, help, it can help your, your, your confidence as well. When you look good, you feel good. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you feel more confident and you come across differently. And again, that can increase your chances. Maybe there's something she sees that she wouldn't have seen if you're feeling like shit that night mm-hmm. <affirmative> and so Yeah. Who knows what's another guy or another, another guy. What's another thing, uh, single guys can do to maybe help increase their chances of success at a swinger's club?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Um, I'd say like, eat healthier and do maybe some physical activity. Maybe get your hair cut, trim your facial hair. I know John has some facial hair and he trims his, you know, puts some spoos, his hair makes it look, it makes it look nice. Hair
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Gel. Yeah. Kinda like something about Mary
Speaker 2 (08:50):
<laugh>. Yeah. <laugh> old reference. Just watched that for the first time the other day. You did? Yes, I did.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
But yeah. Um, and nobody has to be a bodybuilder or a pro athlete. Yeah. You know, people wanna be comfortable in their own skin mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but in general, the, the healthier and the, you know, the better physically you are, the, you know, perhaps the more attractive you'll be to certain people that you may be looking for. Yeah. Though, at the same time, everybody has their own preference of what they're attracted to. So keep that in mind. We're not saying Yeah, you have to be something you're not. But it also says a lot, um, if, if you do take care of your body, it does say a lot, um, about you, that you, you actually kind of care about yourself and, um, you know, maybe you'll give a shit about the person you're trying to, to hook up with or get to know. Good point.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Um, Yeah. If you take care of your thing, well maybe you'll take care, you know, while you're with them too. Yeah. Um, it's just kind of a, I dunno, there's that old phrase, kind of like how you do anything is how you do everything. And you know, if, if you, if, if it really shows that you don't, you don't really care about your appearance mm-hmm. <affirmative> or your health. It, it's, I think naturally there, there's probably something, it's just not that attractive. It doesn't mean you don't have a chance or you're not a good person, but we're talking vanity here and that's what it is. Like, let's just call it what it is. Yeah. Um, I know with you and I mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, we, we like, um, our, our ideal lady is a, is a skinny or fit white woman. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Um, but there we were, we're attracted to a lot of different things. But that's like if we, if we paint the ideal now, if she's skinny and fit mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
<affirmative>,
Speaker 1 (10:35):
And we don't take care of ourselves, we're outta shape. We're not very healthy. Maybe we have several or several 10 tens of extra pounds, you know, but she takes care of herself. How, uh, how appealing are we going to be to her if she looks at us and goes, Man, I take care of myself. And I, you know, I really, I'm strict on what I eat. I really focus on my health. I go to the gym three, four times a week, but then she looks at us and goes, Man, it just, it doesn't look like those people really try. Yeah. Like, they're probably good people, you know, and you'll never hear this, Most people never tell you this, but they're probably good people. But I'm looking for someone who also takes care of themselves. Yeah. And, and a lot of people aren't super strict on that. Yeah. But you know, if you least, if it at least shows that you try and, and again, you could even cover that up with like, hey, you trimmed your beard and you have a fresh haircut. Like Yeah. You know, your, your, your breath doesn't smell like tacos when you walk in. It's like, put on some, you know, eat some mince, chew some gum. Yeah. Put on some acts, body spray, you know, because we've all seen those commercials and mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
<laugh>. Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
But yeah, I mean, a lot of this is appearance.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Yeah. Well cuz you don't, I mean, you don't, I mean, when John and I met, you know, way back when, and it was still not the most popular thing to meet, you know, online and, you know, we didn't, we, it was all about our looks. That's what you see first.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
It is the first thing we noticed it is no one falls in love with your personality the first five to 10 seconds. Like nobody does. It's just the way it is. People see your looks and they, they either give you a chance or they give you a hard pass. And so we all do it.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Oh, mm-hmm. <affirmative>. This is, this is so important. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
She was thinking about this one. Oh
Speaker 2 (12:32):
My gosh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Now is so important. This is just something for us. This might not be everybody, but being newer to the lifestyle, uh, like we still are somewhat, uh, this is what we've always kind of automatically felt in this situation. And we know that a lot of other people feel this way too.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah. It, um, if you are talking to a couple, talk to the guy first. Shake the guy's hand first.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah. So like, if you walk up to us in the club and you say hi, if you walk up and shake June's hand and you act like I'm not there, you just shot yourself in the foot, you're done. Go ahead and leave. You can leave now. Yeah. Bye. Like, not a chance. No. None.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Zero. No, not at all. <laugh>. Not at all. I mean, but if you come up and you shake John's hand first and you're talking to him, and then we shake hands after that and we're all getting to know each other together. Okay. That's better.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Now explain why, why they get shut down immediately if they just go to like, what's, what, what do you feel in that moment? What's the thought process?
Speaker 2 (13:39):
That he wants a piece of ass and he doesn't care about John. He doesn't care about like, I don't know. Together. Yeah. Like
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Together. I'm just, I'm just here to
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Fuck her. I just wanna, I just wanna fuck her. Like, forget about you. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's like, who the fuck you, Like you just walked up, we don't know you
Speaker 2 (13:57):
<laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
No, that's, that totally could not be the person's attitude. Oh yeah. But, but that's what comes
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Off. That's how it comes off though.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
That's how we perceive it. And again, that's just us
Speaker 2 (14:07):
And that's just us. Like totally, It could totally be a different case for other people, but for us it's important.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yeah. I even, I think I even offended a lady one time.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
She reached out, uh, to shake my hand, but her husband was standing right there. And this is my personal rule. I shake, man, I shaked man's hand first. That's just my own personal rule because I know that's what I would want. And so that's just me and shaped, She was pretty drunk, so I don't think she even remembers it. But she, she did like pull her hand back and kind of looked weird at me. Like, well, what? I shook his hand then I shook her hand and smiled. They said, Hey, no offense by that. I just said, I respect you and I respect him. And that's why I always shake the man's hand first. Yeah. Just so it doesn't seem weird if I just go straight to his lady and he doesn't know me. Um, she didn't really respond much again. I think she was hammered drunk, so probably, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yeah. She probably didn't even know where she was at that point. <laugh>. But yeah, like if you're walking up to a couple, like, here's what I do. Um, I mean I'll just, I'll, I mean, June has no problem talking to the ladies cuz it's like, Hey, beautiful dress, beautiful shoes. I love your hair. There's so many things she can just be nice and open up a conversation with. And I don't like, it's less weird if she does it. Yeah. Or what I do is I'll just walk up to the guy and shake his hand, say, Hey, I'm John, how are you? What's your name? Like, and I don't even, I don't even look at his lady. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like I, I like, I act like she's not even there. And then it's, Oh good, I'm so and so, and you just, Hey, where you from?
Speaker 1 (15:46):
You've been coming here a long time. And eventually they go, Oh, well by the way, here's my wife, or here's my girlfriend so and so mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I'll go, Oh, well here's mine. June. Her name's, her name's June. And um, you know, we'll, we'll start talking mm-hmm. <affirmative> and in fact, one of the, one of the very, uh, close friends we have who's a couple, um, who we, we chat with her, you and her chat almost daily or pretty much daily now. Um, we met them that way. We were sitting on a couch and they sat down on a different couch, maybe about 10 or 12 feet away from us. And we, we all kind of looked at each other. It was that weird. Like, you look at each other, but then like, oh, we don't know them, but like, they were smiling. So we smiled and then it was like, I just got up and walked over and shook the guy's hand and I was like, Hey, I'm John, how are you? And he said, Hey, I'm so and so. Well then we all, that's what happened. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And like, I only shook her hand very briefly, then I focused back on him talking to him, you know, you know, how long have you been coming here? What do you do? You know, and all this. And then I started talking to her too, but I focused on him first. Yeah. And I didn't do it as some bullshit tactic. Like, I'm actually interested in these people. Yeah. Like, I actually did wanna get to know them. You never know. You're gonna meet many new people's fun. Yeah. It is. And so it's not just a tactic as a means to an end. Like you're gonna, you, you're, you're bullshit radar is gonna get picked up on if you're, if you're like that mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so, um, but I actually got to know him a bit and we got to know her a bit and now they're like really good friends of ours. Yeah. And, um, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So, and I remember John, I remember that night, somehow it came up in conversation about how they were really happy to see that you guys did shake hands before shaking the lady's hands. I remember that. Having that conversation with them.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Oh, they actually
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Mentioned and they were, yeah. They were like, Man, I'm so glad you did that cuz man, it just comes off wrong if if they go right for my wife's hand.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah. And I don't even think I was, I don't even think I was thinking to do that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> it, it, for me, it's like I just sort of naturally do that. I just sort of know like, you just, it's, it just be weird the other way to me. And so like, I didn't even mean to maybe discover it as a tactic, but it is,
Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's cuz he's that he's cuz he's that awesome <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
I'm not trying to say that, but, Well, I know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So I mean that's actually, that means a lot to a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
It really does.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
That's why I like, for me, those are, that's one of the important very important ones.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah. And now here's something that we could have done, which is a big mistake. A lot of people make the first thing outta your mouth when you like walk up to somebody <laugh> or, or a couple, you walk up maybe shake hands and what,
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Oh hey, you wanna go to a playroom? You wanna go fuck
Speaker 1 (18:45):
<laugh>? Hey, you guys ever had a threesome? <laugh>? Yeah. Have you seen my dick pick on stc?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Oh my God. <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Like, anyway, Or like, or even just, Hey, so what are you guys looking to try tonight? It's like, who the hell are you?
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah. Like, we don't know anything about you, dude.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Now it, it feels so funny to say that cuz in my mind I'm going, seriously, who the fuck would actually say something like that? People do it.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Oh. Every fucking day. There's some kind of comment like
Speaker 1 (19:14):
That. Yeah. It's, it's like no offense if that's you, but like you need some fucking game <laugh> like that. You can't just like jump the gun. Especially if you're talking to a couple Yeah. Who may have been together for years at that point. Like you're trying to, you're trying to enter into their hemisphere mm-hmm. <affirmative> their world and uh, you know, they're guarding that thing because they value each other. Yeah. And you need to be someone who's of value but also safe for them. And, uh, Yeah. Yeah. Don't ever just walk up. And I, I, I don't even think when we met that, that couple who's friends of ours now, I don't know if we talked about sex the whole
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Night. I don't think we did.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
We didn't, we didn't play with 'em. Uh, we all danced and you danced with her and, and you know, everyone kind of danced, but I don't even think the topic of sex came up.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Not that I can recall. Because we, we just go there, try to get to know people
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Now, I think towards the end of the night, cuz we went into a room with, you know, our GI Joe and Barbie friends. And I think that was one of the first times that we had, uh, that we had all hung out and played together. But I mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I remember there's this big room that like, you can fit like, I don't know, 10 or 12 couples on. Oh,
Speaker 1 (20:29):
There's like three beds all stacked together.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
It's around
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Oh, oh, the round one. Okay. Uhhuh.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh yeah. Yeah. And, and I remember we were playing around in there and I looked up and they were like watching, which was really hot. Um, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I gave 'em a thumbs up, but I don't think they saw me, me, <laugh>. I was e I was eating out June. I'd give 'em a thumbs up. I don't know if they could recognize my face cuz it was stuff between your legs.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Yeah. But I, it was really cool cuz I do remember at the end of the night, you know, they had said they had done something for the first time that night. And uh, and I was like, Yeah, me too. So it was just really cool. And I think that was the only, but that was the very end of the night. Like, we didn't go there until then.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Well, and it, and it, it didn't involve them. Like they had done that with somebody else that we didn't know. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
But yeah. So like, but now they're, they become some of our, our new best friends in the lifestyle. Absolutely. Um, but, but sex didn't even come up on the first, really the first night at the club we met. Now if you're a single guy, you might be thinking, well, what's the fucking point? The paying a hundred, $150 going there and not leaving without scoring, you know? But it's like when it, I know with us at least, and a lot of couples, we know when it comes to that kind of thing, we're looking for connection with people. Yeah. It doesn't have to be like, oh, we're looking for like long term BFFs for life. Like no, like, we're looking for like someone we connect with like, like your physical appearance. Like every, every single guy has a physical appearance. Most single guys, if they really try, they can look pretty good. Yeah. Most, I said most, some of you fuckers are ugly and there's no <laugh>. Oh my god. And I've been told I'm in that category by some people. June disagrees.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Uh, I <laugh>, uh, no he's not. You
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Can, Yeah. But you, Yeah. If any guy tries at least look good, it's like, you can tell he is trying and, and, and that, that carries a lot of weight.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
It really does. It really does. But it makes a difference.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
But yeah, so just, you know, but again, we, we go there to make friendships, to make connections and friendships. So many things that, uh, or so many people we've played with, um, some of them the first time or the first night we met them, we didn't do anything like Yeah. It wasn't even mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like there wasn't a connection there. Or we weren't all drunk enough. We're like, Hey, uh, cuz that happens sometimes too. But we've gone back two or three times and then ended up playing with them. But we had gotten to know them a bit. Yeah. They got more comfortable with us. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> sometimes you just have to be patient. I mean, go for the friendship, go there. Like, if you go there to make friends and connections, you don't come off like the salesman who's trying to close a deal with every person who walks by and you don't even know if they want what the fuck you're selling. Well,
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Not only that, but by doing that, that's the byproduct that you're gonna get anyway at the end.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Like, it'll happen if you go there with the intention of just meeting new people and making friends. The sex will be the byproduct of that anyway, I think.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah. And, but you also can't control when that would happen. Yeah. But you have a way better chance if you're, if you're a patient. Yeah. If you're just going to make the friendships. And I mean, here's the thing too. If you're a salesman and you just start pitching your product to anybody on the street, Well you violated like the very first rule of anything. Like you're, you're trying to sell something without diagnosing if anyone actually wants or needs it. So unless if you're not talking to a couple, if you're not talking to people, you, you can't actually know what they're into or what they want. Like, we're not in, we're not into single guys. That's not our thing. Mm-hmm. I get nothing outta scene in June with another guy or the idea of it. She's really not into it. She likes the ladies, but there are others who want to add a single guy or a few to their, their play time.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah. But you have to know that you're talking to one of those couples before you start trying to throw out the offer. Because if you're wasting time on us, like you're going nowhere fast. Like hell, we'd rather like kind of know that way we could be like, Hey, you're gonna go nowhere with us. But that couple over there, they have a, they, they like meeting single guys every single week. Yeah. And so then you're not wasting your time and you're, you're being more productive. You're having a better chance. And so when you just get to know people, um, it goes a lot further. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> guys, have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone and it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
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Speaker 1 (25:56):
And a lot of people don't like the idea of, Oh, we're just going for a one night stand. Like some people like that sometimes. Other times they're like, you know what, we just rather meet people. We actually enjoy being around and you know, we can play with. Yeah. And so, I mean, if you become one of those guys, then it's like, oh, once or twice a week they're like, Hey, you want to come over to the house at two o'clock in the afternoon on a Wednesday <laugh>? You got an hour and you're like, fuck yeah. It's hump day. You get through the week <laugh>, and this is gonna help me. So you can become that too. So, uh, all right. Where were we? Um, okay. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So what's the next one say?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
It says just act normal. Don't walk around with a stoic expressionless. Look on your face following people instead just smile at people and say hello.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah. Yeah. That's the long way of saying don't be a fucking weirdo. Yeah. Like, there's people who, like, everywhere you go, they'll just sort of appear, They'll be like blending into the wall, but we can see their eyes. Then we look and they like disappear and float away. I'm exaggerating a bit, but it, it kind of comes off that way. It does. They don't say anything. They have no expression on their face. Just a little creepy, creeper creepy. And it, and it's, it's just like, if you just look at me and say hi, or Hey, you guys looking great tonight. Totally not weird now. Yeah. Like, I remember like seeing a couple go at it in the red room and you know, it was like, they were like a foot in front of me cuz I was nearby. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, they looked up at me and saw me. He made, I cocked I eye contact and I, I think I just said something like, Hey, guys are looking great tonight. You know, and they smiled and laughed and a little bit and then kept going, but it made it so not weird. Yeah. Unless, you know, I could have been that guy just standing there with this stoic expressionless look on my face, you know, jerking my dick and looking at him like a foot away from them. Like giving him like this glare <laugh>. Like, people do that and it's like, what the fuck? Like,
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
So yeah. Like, just,
Speaker 2 (28:00):
Just act normal. Be casual. Don't be weird. Don't make it weird.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Be casual. Like people are there to have a good time. Smile and say hi.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You know?
Speaker 2 (28:09):
So, um, the next one says, just have good, normal conversations. It'll make you stand out amongst, amongst the other single guys because so many of the others won't do that. Yeah. So connection with you is so much more than just your physical appearance. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
And so, like most guys, they're, they're gonna, they're most us relative, but they're probably gonna jump the gun. They're probably gonna be acting like the weirdos. They're probably gonna be tr doing the creepy thing, not realizing they're even doing it. Maybe. Yeah. But if you're just a normal acting dude, like, I always say this and I don't want it sound gross, but act like, act like you're walking up. If you have a sister, a single guy, and she's married or has a boyfriend, just act like you're walking up to your sister and her boyfriend, or your sister and his wife or and his wife, your sister and her husband. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
All
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Right. I've had too much root beer today. Just act like you're walking up to your sister and her partner mm-hmm. <affirmative> and you're just, just saying, Oh, hey, how's it going? Are you ever nervous walking up to your own sister? No. And her and her partner or husband and whoever.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
No,
Speaker 1 (29:19):
You wouldn't be right. No. So just approach, approach them like that and just say, Hey, how's it going? Because now it's like you're not coming off salesy. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like a lot of those couples, they want a single guy. Like they, they wanna, they wanna buy, but they don't wanna be sold. Yeah. You know?
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
So just think about that. That's one way to, to do it. Um,
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Um, it also says physically you're just, uh, you know, oh, least connection with you is so much more than just physical appearance physically just ano you're just another single guy, a number. But if you have a, have good fun, normal conversations, you'll stand, you'll stand above like the others.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah. You'll stand out. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Because do you know how many, how many people are like bad at conversations? Like one, I remember the first time we met another couple, it was our first visit ever to a club. And, and one of the things that really stood out, um, between me and her, uh, the other lady was our conversation. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Like,
Speaker 1 (30:29):
We started talking. We literally could have sat there and talked all night and we kind of did.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah. Yeah. We did actually <laugh>, all four of
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Us did. Yeah. And we weren't even trying, like there was such a connection there. And she wasn't necessarily my perfect ideal physically what I was looking for, but I was so intrigued by her ability to have conversations. She was highly educated. Yeah. She was about, about eight or nine years older than me. She had been high up in school systems, um, like run school systems, things like that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And she, she was a very good conversationalist. She was very, uh, intriguing to talk to. And that connection was powerful. It was a mental connection.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
It wasn't just physical stuff. Well, and apparently she enjoyed the conversation from me as well. And so I was more than just looks and all the external things. A lot of her was drawn to my ability to have a conversation and be interesting and even, uh, intriguing with, with some of the things we talked about.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
<affirmative>. Yeah. So again, just show up with the mission just to make friends and get to know people. Be patient. Like, it's, it's not always a sprint. It's a lot of times a long game. You know, there are people we've met where I'm like, Boy, it would be nice to hook up and play with them. And, uh, it's like, well, maybe, uh, in the coming weeks, months or whatever, maybe that'll happen as we get to know them. Maybe it won't at some point you kind of have to let go of control. Yeah. And the more you try to control, you might just fuck the whole thing up because you're now, you're getting rigid, now you're with expectations. You don't want to be disappointed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, and then you feel burned or that, you know, you're not good enough for any, any of that crap we tell ourselves.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
So, I mean, again, the best thing we found is show up to make friends Yeah. And let things happen. Keep going back. Like it's like anything
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah. So yeah. That the next point was actually don't show up with the intent that you're gonna be able to play with someone that night. Like you might, but if you show up at that expectation, there's a good chance you're gonna be really let down. But that doesn't mean it's game over. You just, you've gotta play the game longer.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Yeah. Well, for, for me, like when I'm going to the club, like I don't have any kind of like, Oh, I hope I get to play with a girl tonight. Oh, I hope you know this or that. I'll get to try with somebody. I go there literally. Like, if all I get to do is dance with my husband on the dance floor, like that's enough for me.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Like, if, if, if all I get to do is hang out with some of our friends who go weekly like we do when we get to see them there and all, and all that happens is John and I get to dance on the dance floor, then, then, then that's enough for me. I just, that's kind of my mentality every time I go to any kind of lifestyle event.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah. Well, I'll tell you, um, real quick. I discovered a great icebreaker, <laugh> and single guys. You can use this <laugh> ain't using mine. You can use your own <laugh>. That's not what I mean.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Oh my God. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Here's what I mean. So I got this leather paddle, this little paddle, and it says the word slut on it. So when I slap June's ass, it leaves in an imprint on her ass after, after the redness starts appearing and it says slut. Yeah. So it's about, it's about a foot long paddle. Oh. Here's the thing. When everyone's on the dance floor, drinking dance in every good time, I do not walk up and start slapping asses. You obviously wouldn't do that. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> what I do, and I didn't mean to do this as a tactic, but I act, I did it just for fun and I realized this is the best damn icebreaker ever. I walk up, I look at guy in the eye who's dancing on the dance floor with his lady, and I, I smile at him and I hold it up and I kind of like point to her ass, like, and I look at him and point to her ass. I go, Hey, do you want, you wanted to spank your lady with it? Yeah. Nine outta 10 guys want to do it. They laugh and they're like, Hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
Uhhuh.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And half the ladies are like, Oh, be gentle. The other half is they, they just whip those dresses or skirts up and go, You better fucking lay into me. Yeah. And uh, not only will he do it, but then a lot of times he'll hand it back to me and go, Now you spank my lady. Yeah. To which, you know, I, I'm a generous guy, so I, I do, you know, and, uh, uh, man, I like, we've ended up playing afterwards with some really hot people after that. Yeah. I, I mean, I have one lady making out, making out with me on the dance floor after I spanked her mm-hmm. <affirmative> and her husband's there like, he's like, This is
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Fucking cool. And then she looks over at me and hands me the paddle. So then I spank her, then she starts making out with me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
We both
Speaker 2 (35:18):
Meet out with, that was fucking hot.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah. And so, like, and I just make my way around the dance floor. I hand that thing to 20 or 30 people and like now, like everybody on that, on that dance floor fucking loves me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So like now I can go up and talk to anybody even afterwards be like, be like, Hey, do you like, did you like the paddle thing? Yeah. And now it's like, now it's like they're intrigued to talk to you, but I didn't even have to talk to the people at the initial introduction. Yeah. I just held, held up my SLU paddle and was like, Hey, wanna spank your lady?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Yeah. <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
So there's all kinds of ways to break the ice and we'll probably do an episode on that at some point, cuz I know a lot of people are shy,
Speaker 2 (35:58):
But Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
But yeah, there's, there's a lot of creative ways to do it.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Um, Yes. Oh my gosh, this
Speaker 1 (36:05):
One. Okay, the next one, This should go without saying, but we apparently can't say this one enough. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
<affirmative> don't touch people unless you ask first and they say yes.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Yeah. Yeah. If it's not an above and beyond Resounding yes. It's a no. Yeah. No means no. If it's a um, uh, eh, that's a fucking no. But if they go, Oh yeah, sure, that's fine. Okay, then that's cool. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Sense
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Important like, Yeah. Here's an example. We were playing with a couple other couples in the red room on one of these big beds. Uh, it was last week actually. And I was going down on June, kind of kind of getting her there. Orgasms. Guys, if you don't know, they're kind of like waves. You have to build them up and then they crash when it happens. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I'm building her up and suddenly I see I outta the corner of my eye, I see a hand that is not mine, um, rubbing her leg. And so I look over now it's taking my mouth away from her cl which is gonna kill the, the building wave. Yes. I look over and some guys touching her leg and he is being gentle, but he didn't fucking ask. Nope. And so I pointed at him and I wish, you know, kind of shoot him away with my hand gesture. Like, no. And he took his hand right off and he left. But now when I go back to June, now I gotta restart and rebuild the way all over again. He totally fucked up her orgasm because he's an idiot.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Like whe where in the fuck would you ever touch a woman's leg without asking seriously?
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Or, or,
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Or touch a woman anywhere? Like if you're walking through the grocery store, would you just touch a woman?
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Fuck
Speaker 1 (37:45):
No. Fuck no. You get your kicked, Maybe you can get arrested. Yeah. Just cuz you're in a sex club doesn't mean everyone wants to have sex with you or they have a right to touch them. So. Exactly. You ask every fucking time. Cuz here, here's what will happen. You don't ask and then you look like an ass and somebody makes you look bad.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Or you might get your ass kicked. Uh, cuz you're touching some guys later without asking. That could happen. Not to say it will, but it definitely can. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But if you just ask and they say no, they actually respect you more. Uh, because you at least ask because there are so many people out there who don't ask that. When you do, you actually get in people's good graces.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
So you shouldn't have to be told this, You know, don't touch my wife's back. Don't touch your shoulder. Don't touch your leg, Don't touch your her hand. I always say even when we're, we're, even when we're in a playroom with people invited us in there before I do something, Hey, can I touch your ass? Hey, can I, can I kiss your boobs? Hey, you know, is it like I'm checking like what? I don't, I don't know what she's okay with or not. Yeah. But even though we were invited into play, I'm still checking. Oh
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
And guess what? People like to have you run more often and you don't have to go back to the club every week and get burned and shot down because now we have a community of people who like to play with you.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
Yeah. This next one's really good. Go in as a researcher and don't seek to just play. Go in there like you're trying to learn about them and what about and what about oh my gosh, what
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Can't, what what brought them into the lifestyle?
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Yeah. Even even telling them you're new and you're trying to learn what this is all about. Maybe even ask them if they can help educate you on some things.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
Yeah. And like we said, don't approach as a salesman. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like what the means to an end. But let's face it, like if you go in there and you, you start talking to a couple and just say, Hey, my name's John. I'm actually new here. Um, I've never really been in this kind of place before. Have you all been coming here a while? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
That's a great starter.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
People love to help people. They love to give advice. And if you're like, you know, I'm new to this kind of thing, can you kind of tell me what people like yourselves look for? Cuz I really don't know, and maybe you don't. Um, but people love to share their advice. Now you've got them talking to you Yes. And giving you advice. Yes. And the conversation is off to the races. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. All right. So, um, again, we talked about playroom, observe, don't touch without permission. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, um, don't be uncomfortably close to people. Um, you know, there's actually lines, um, painted on the floor in some of the rooms at the club we go to. Yeah. And the bouncers are sitting right there and if you step over the line, they're like, get behind the line. You know, or, you know, if, if you keep not listening, like they'll pull you outta there. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and so Yeah. Um, yeah, bring your equipment. If you got, you know, we got, we got a bag. We bring, we got some friends who have a duffle bag, they bring <laugh>, he's got condoms and lube and all kinds
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Toys. Told eventually he's gonna have to get him his own duffle bag cuz um, we're running outta room with the backpack. It's too small <laugh> for all the fun things we wanna bring. Well,
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Yeah. Well we keep adding toys to the bag and then we put the booze in there too. Yes. You know, those big old vodka bottles and you're not, they're not gonna carry themselves at the club.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
So Yeah. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
But yeah. Focus on, you know, if you're in a playroom, you get invited, you're finally in there, like, have your stuff there. Be ready, um, you know, whatever that is, you need focus on other people's pleasures, not just your own, you know, if you finally get in there, it's like, my whole thing with June is this, and we're about to wrap up, but, um, my whole thing with June is she ne I never have an orgasm when we have sex until she's had at least two, sometimes three. She always comes first. <laugh>, no pun intended. I didn't mean to say that. Well, I thank you my love. Oh, you're welcome, <laugh>. Because life is just easier that way and people like you more mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And so if you're focused on them, I mean it's, it's pleasurable to give pleasure. Anyway, so Yeah. Uh, but we hope this has been helpful for you.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Yeah. These are just a handful of tips from a couple who, you know, like if, if you were trying to succeed with a couple like us and you're a single guy mm-hmm. <affirmative> in a swinger club and you're trying to succeed, just take note of all these things and anything you're not doing, maybe start doing them. Yeah. And just, just see what happens. Absolutely. Because you know, there's, there's somebody for everybody. Yep. But there's certain things, best practices you can do to increase your odds of success. Yeah. Hope this was helpful for you. Yep. Until next time, swing for the fences. <laugh>.