New Swingers Podcast

14- New Swingers Q&A (+ June Blows John On Air!)

October 18, 2022 John & June
New Swingers Podcast
14- New Swingers Q&A (+ June Blows John On Air!)
Show Notes Transcript

John gets a blowjob on air (again!) while he and June answer your questions & emails about being new to the swinger lifestyle and navigating some common challenges many people face in the swingers lifestyle.

(YOU CAN ALSO FIND ALL OF THE RESOURCES BELOW AT: https://www.newswingerspodcast.com)

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right. Welcome back to the New Swinger's podcast. I'm your host John,

Speaker 2 (00:06):
And I am June.

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Wow. <laugh>. We just got back from lunch and I had a really strong drink. It's a beer. It's like a stout, I believe. What's it called? It's called Dragon's Milk. And that shit's like 16% alcohol, I think. And it's off the tap. It was pretty strong. So I'm feeling pretty good, feeling all

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Right. And I had the only kind of beer that I like, which is cider, and it's called Angry Orchard. And it's really good cause it's apple cider. It literally tastes like apple juice with alcohol. It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
We love how you sound like you're from the south because you are.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oh, you're welcome. How

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Do you wait, what'd you have it to drink again?

Speaker 2 (00:55):
<laugh>. Angry Orchard.

Speaker 1 (00:56):
Angry Orchard. What?

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Cider <laugh> you up a bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
You're trying to say it like a Northerner. Like a Yankee

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Solder. There. Is that better <laugh>?

Speaker 1 (01:10):
It's not better, it's just more authentically you. The eb. All right, today we are doing a new swinger's q and a. We have some email questions come in, some comments, things like that that we're gonna

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes. Discuss. That was the word I was

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Looking for. <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Let's see. Oh, all right. This one says when setting boundaries. This may sound silly because we're exploring and wanting to play with another couple, but one of her boundaries is kissing girl with girl is fine, but him kissing my wife or me kissing his wife is not an option. How is that boundary set? And is that absurd? Okay, so you're okay doing things with another couple, but one of your boundaries is you don't want you or your wife kissing the other people first thing. That's not absurd

Speaker 2 (02:10):
At all. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
That's pretty I would say pretty normal. I mean, kissing is an intimate thing and if that's not your thing, then that's okay. I mean, the thing about the lifestyle is this, whatever you're cool with, you're cool with. Yeah. There's no standard or finish line. You have to keep graduating too until you've done everything that everyone does <affirmative>. You just do what you're comfortable with. And if you're not comfortable with something just don't do it. And that's both of you. And so if you're both in agreement on that, <affirmative>, what do you think? June?

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, that's kinda what I was gonna say. Not everybody, I mean, everybody has their own boundaries that they have set in place, that they feel comfortable doing this, they feel comfortable doing that. They don't feel comfortable doing this or that. I mean, I know for us last week actually I found out that I only wanna play as of right now, I only wanna play with women with John. I only wanna play with women. I have no desire to do anything with men at this point right now that could change. But right now, that's where I'm at and that's my boundary. I don't wanna play with guys. I really just wanna play with girls and I wanna play with girls with John.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
And John definitely does not mind <laugh> that preference.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (03:35):
June you will. You'll not have to twist my arms <laugh> if you prefer to play with me and another hot lady. It's just the way it is and I'll learn how to deal with it.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
<laugh>. Yeah, <laugh>. So I say that to say that's mine. That's ours right now. But, and be open to the fact that it might change eventually. You may eventually be like, that might be okay to kiss or what? It may never be okay that you do that. Because for me, in my mind it's like, well, I never may be okay with full swapping with a couple. I don't know. That could change for me. But right now, that's where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
And we can run across some people and we're fairly new to this ourselves, <affirmative>, relatively speaking. But I've noticed a lot lately running into people who are like, you ask 'em like, Oh, so what are you all into guys? Like? And they say, We are full swap only. I'm like, Oh, okay, that's cool. That's your preference. But for me it's kind of like that's all you do, I guess. And maybe my being naive or annoying about certain things, but it's like, Oh, we're only full swab. Okay, that's cool. I guess if there's other couples out there like that, that's cool. But at least for us, we look at it like, man, there's so many things you can do that are fun. Where it's like if someone says, Oh, we're full swap only. Well I know immediately. I don't care who you are. Discussion's kind of over with as far as if we're gonna play with you or not.

(05:15):
We can still be friends obviously, but we're, we're not gonna pursue anything further because we know we're not there. Which leads to my biggest piece of advice here as far as interacting with others is that you, and in this case your wife, it sounds like that you're 100% absolutely clear and front with any other person or couple you play with, that you have a very strict no kissing boundary and that will not be violated. That we don't do that. Is that understood? Because sometimes people can mishear or misinterpret what you say or what you're communicating. Or maybe sometimes we're not clear enough as a professional communicator. I know that, and this isn't to say people are stupid, but let's face it, some people are <affirmative> and we live in a busy, noisy society where there's lots of noise going on in the world and we have to be crystal clear on what we mean, even on a kindergarten level, a paint by numbers level to ensure that people understand what we're saying <affirmative>.

(06:19):
So this is why it's important for you and your wife to be very blunt and clear with your boundaries with other people. So there's no room for confusion or margin for error or misunderstanding from other people that could cause friction or trouble between the two of you. And so yeah, just be very clear with each other you and your spouse be very clear with, Okay, here's what we will not do as of right now. And anyone you meet that you know wanna play with just be very clear we don't do this <affirmative>. And if somebody there will be people sometimes we haven't really met them yet, but if there are people who violate those boundaries, after you communicate to them you call 'em on it. Every time in the moment there say, Hey, we don't do that. Did you not understand? And if they continue to try, you

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Leave. Yeah. Bye. See ya. You don't know how to follow the rules or in our boundaries, so bye.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Yeah, <laugh>. If somebody doesn't respect your boundaries and you very clearly communicate to them you shouldn't be hanging out with those people. No. And that they shouldn't be around people to begin with cuz they're obviously assholes, <affirmative>. But here's how I would do, I would say, Hey me and June are cool with this and this and this, but if this was me, I would say something like, But we have a very strict, no kissing boundary. I won't kiss your lady and you know, won't kiss mine or whatever the case, but we're okay if the girls kiss. But that's the only thing. Do you understand that? Do you understand that's a boundary of ours? And they look you in the eye and go, yes, say, Okay great. There should be no other response. If there's any trying to negotiate with your or talk you into get the fuck outta there and say, Hey, you know what? It's been great getting to know you. We need to run. Cuz anyone who's gonna try to talk you into negotiating your boundaries, they don't give a fuck about you.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
No, they don't about themselves.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
They care about themselves and they don't give a shit how uncomfortable you are or what kind of riff or trouble it's gonna cause between you and your partner after you go home. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have a pair of friends a couple that awesome people. We just hung out with them this weekend, actually this weekend, this past weekend actually. And when they were doing the lifestyle, there was kind of a bait and switch they weren't aware of that was going on with another couple that they played with. And after they got home and realized what happened, it had caused this married couple, these friends of ours to think that they had miscommunicated with each other. When in reality this other couple had kind of played a little trick on 'em. I mean, they had six months where they didn't do anything in the lifestyle. They were like

Speaker 2 (09:02):
A year, actually, was it a year? It was a year. She

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Said it wasn't six

Speaker 2 (09:05):
Months, it no a year.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
There was a year that they put the lifestyle on hold because of the trouble these other people caused between them. And they didn't realize until after they got home <affirmative>. So these people obviously didn't give a shit about our friends and they were new, we don't know the details, but they weren't aware of what was going on. And so just be aware of that. That's why we say be aware of the boundaries and being very clear and enforce the boundaries. Most people understand, most people just wanna have good time, but if someone tries to negotiate your boundaries with you, well how about this? Or can we do a little of that? I mean, hold the line. You don't need to do that. And people shouldn't be doing that.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
There's plenty other people out there that you can play with that aren't gonna try and test your boundaries. If that's your boundaries, that's your boundaries. And don't let anybody try and talk you out of it.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah. Nobody should try to talk you outta your boundaries. <affirmative> have a little fucking respect and someone's like, I'm really not comfortable dancing with you. It's like, Oh, okay, no worries. Or any other request.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Next.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Yeah, next <laugh>. All right, Morning John and June, love your show. My wife and I are semi-new to the lifestyle you bring up in episode 10, Rudolph and Herby. All right, so let me pause here. We were talking about it was, except I believe we were talking about married couples accepting one another, accepting your partner for who they are. And I think I had used the example, a kind of a comparison, if you remember the old Christmas movie Rudolph, the Red Nose, reindeer, the old one, <affirmative> where there's the elf named Herbi who wants to be a dentist and he gets made fun of and kicked out and runs away. Well, Rudolph has his red nose and so he gets ostracized and kicked out and he runs away <affirmative>. Well, Rudolph and Herbie keep, they meet up eventually and Rudolph is like, Well hey, do you wanna hang out with me?

(11:17):
I know I have a red nose and herpes. Well I'm fine with your red nose as long as you're fine with me becoming a dentist <laugh>. And they said, Well, I'm okay with that. You're okay with that. And they were friends <affirmative>. So that's the reference this person is making when they say how he brought up in episode 10, Rudolph and Herby <affirmative>, they say, Do I find it true that some people in the lifestyle to be non-judgmental and accepting of others? Which we found that too. The question is this. How come the bisexual men aren't accepted the same way I speak in a way of a bisexual couple? Both of us are bi for us when we're trying to find dates, we oftentimes get a cold shoulder or negative reaction because I'm bisexual. Just for the record, I'm orally bi and don't have any desired fantasy for any other male contact.

(12:11):
So oral sex, bisexual oral sex is what this person this guy says he's is kind of what he's into as far as bisexuality <affirmative>. I was just curious why the double standard amongst some in the lifestyle community? That's a good question, <affirmative>. That's a good question. I'm new to the lifestyle, relatively speaking, so I can't speak for everybody. There might be a number of things. I do have a personal opinion as a straight man and I'll respect you enough especially since you're probably listening this to give you the blunt and straight answer because that's what you're actually looking for, <affirmative>. So this is said with the utmost all respect I respect you, respect me, I respect your orientation, I respect mine. None of us really knows why we're turned on by the things we are. We just sort of are <affirmative>. And that's one thing I have found that people are very accepting of in the lifestyle <affirmative>, is that it's like, Hey, whatever's your thing.

(13:16):
Now here are my thoughts to the question. How come bisexual men have a, there's a double standard against them or why aren't they accepted in the same way as a straight man who's married to a woman? I will tell you that, and again this is just me personally. I'm not saying this is every straight man or one I've found and my limited experience in the lifestyle that most men I meet are heterosexual and married to women. So they're attracted only to women. I'm not saying they aren't bisexual or gay in the swinger lifestyle, <affirmative>, I'm just saying in my experience, the majority, the overwhelming, I'm talking 80, 90% of people I meet are ahead of sexual men <affirmative>. And that's in my limited experience. So I know again, that's not always the case. So it makes me think that maybe there is maybe overall a majority of heterosexual men in lifestyle. I don't know if that's entirely true. So don't quote me on that, I don't know. That's just my experience. But here's my second thing. As a heterosexual man as a heterosexual man, it makes me somewhat uncomfortable to be in a naked sexual environment with a man who I think might be attracted to me sexually <affirmative> just because of the fact there's nothing in me that desires that or is that way, that is homosexual or bisexual.

(14:58):
There is the thought of what if I'm playing with a lady, whether it's my wife or his, and then he tries to touch me or he tries to proposition me or make a pass to me, that's a fast hell no, don't even go there. Not cuz I'm against anyone being that way. I'm not that way. No man is gonna touch me sexually cuz nothing in me wants that. I'm literally just not wired that way. <affirmative> and just, again, that's me personally. There is zero there. So I think for me, if you were to ask me personally, I think it's the fact that there are probably a lot of heterosexual men who don't want to deal with the uncomfortable possibility of being in a sexual setting where there's another man who may be sexually attracted to them and they might have to encounter that person or get propositioned by that person or have that person try to touch them or do something so they'd rather not deal with it.

(16:04):
And so maybe they'd just write it off as a way of not having to deal with the direct go there or be in in the position where they would ever have to be uncomfortable like that. And I say again, I say that with the utmost respect as a heterosexual man, I don't want to deal with the possibility of another man approaching me sexually cuz there's nothing in me wired that way. Now if you did have other people there that way I wouldn't see what the problem is. Again, that's just my personal opinion as a heterosexual man as well as somebody who's relatively newer to the lifestyle. What are your thoughts June?

Speaker 2 (16:41):
Well, and I was just gonna add to this too, is already John is on guard for me because there are men who have already touched me without asking

Speaker 1 (16:55):
And I had to call them on it.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
So already he's on guard and probably a lot of other men in the lifestyle are also on guard. I know we have a few friends who've already said that and told John the same thing. So I feel like they're already, those men are on guard to protect their wives from being touched without people, with the guy asking, he just touches me. So I feel like that already is stress enough sometimes for you. And then add the other part to it as well, if you're with the guy who is that way, that's adding extra stress on top of what you already have

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Or I would say maybe not stress,

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Not

Speaker 1 (17:37):
Stress, but distraction. Yeah. Because one of the things that keeps me from having a good time when we're playing is if I don't know all the guys there <affirmative> and I have to worry and watch June constantly to make sure she's okay where I can't just relax and enjoy myself <affirmative> with whoever I'm with. And I think knowing there's another man who might be interested in me that way and I don't go that way, that would be another layer of distraction and I don't want to see that. Or let's say maybe there is another man in there who is by way and you're a good fit with there are a lot of heterosexual men that don't want to watch two guy, other men interact sexually with each other. It doesn't turn 'em on to them. It's just not their thing. Maybe they don't wanna see it.

(18:36):
And again, that's just their preference. You have your preference, they have theirs. I have mine and I would equate it to this, if me in June showed up at a sex party, a hotel party or something and we walked in and there was 12 other guys there and June was the only lady or maybe there was one other lady there, let's say plus June. I'm not having a good time at all that night, just me being me because I'm like, okay, am I gonna gotta look out for my lady and there's like 11 or 12 dudes here and she's one of only two ladies. <affirmative>, I'm not gonna have good time tonight because I'm gonna have to play guard. I'm gonna have to make sure she's comfortable, which I don't mind doing. But if I was told ahead of time, hey those are gonna be a 11 or 12 guys at this party and two ladies, one of them being yours, we would definitely not say probably we would.

(19:34):
No we wouldn't. Wouldn't go. We won't go just because that's now our, I guess you could say cup of tea. It's not our preference, but that's just us. And I think with what you're talking about with the bisexuality piece and you get the cold shoulder, I think you're probably running into a lot of heterosexual guys that are maybe inexperienced and have no desire, inexperienced maybe around homosexuals or bisexual men, but also don't want to allow the probability of another man potentially looking at them sexually or even trying to talk to them for something of that nature. <affirmative>. And I understand that completely as a heterosexual man. I mean if there's a woman who's a lesbian she probably wouldn't wanna be a room full of dudes because she doesn't want those dudes, she wants another woman. And so I think it's the division of just the simple preference.

(20:40):
Here's what I would say, and I know I'm doing a lot of talking here. Here's what I would say, I don't know if this exists, but I would encourage you to look it up since given this is your case and hopefully you're listening, what I would say is I would don't know Google or look up social media groups, Try and find groups of swinger groups for bisexual couples where other couples hang out who are both bisexual, who people like look for people just like you. And maybe if there isn't one and you're in a place or a position or you feel led to do it, if you can't find that, maybe create a social media group for bisexual swinger couples where both people in the relationship are bisexual.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Yeah, that's a great idea.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
I would imagine there's probably something or a number of things out there I would think, but I don't personally know. So either find it or create it because if you find it, well you got your answer if you don't find it. But you create a group like that, what you're probably gonna end up doing eventually is drawing other people like yourself into that group because they're looking for a place where there are people just like you who are just like them also, they just don't, don't know. And so either find a group or create one. That would be my advice.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, that's a good idea.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
That way it, it's kind of in sales <affirmative> in business, if I'm trying to sell something to someone who just doesn't want what I'm selling, they're gonna walk away from me eventually if I keep trying to sell 'em. It doesn't matter if I'm in a group of people who don't want what I'm selling, like no one's gonna be interested <affirmative>. And in a lot of ways it's that same kind of thing. And so I hope that's helpful for you. What do you think June?

Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah, no, I think that's a great idea. I think John, John hit the nail on the head with that one. I think, yeah, if you can't find the group that you should create it because you're not alone with how you're feeling right now. You're not alone. You're the only one that's dealing with this. So I imagine there probably is a group already, but if not, just know that if you create it, know that you're not gonna be only the only one in the group. There's other ones out there that are you that are wishing somebody would create the group.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, cuz a lot of people are looking but they're not willing to start the thing <affirmative>. And you might start the thing and out of maybe 500 people that see it, there might be 10 or 12 that join it and going, man, we're the same way.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Well hey those are your people. <affirmative> potentially. So this one, here's another email. I'm gonna have June read this one cuz I keep talking a

Speaker 2 (23:24):
Lot. Oh, I was about to give you head.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Okay, I'll read this one

Speaker 2 (23:27):
So I can give you head <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
She wants to give me head on the air. Guys, have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone. And it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of an erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating. But don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout head on air. Hey, is that what you, Is that what we should call this episode?

(24:29):
Damn. Damn girl. I should feed you beer for lunch more often.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
<affirmative> mom <laugh>. Okay, now I can read it

Speaker 2 (24:41):
If you want. I'll still read it.

Speaker 3 (24:44):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (24:44):
You can do it

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Now that I'm done.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
<laugh>. You can do wherever the hell you want. Now you want the Ferrari baby? Let's go buy it.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
No, I want another Mustang. I miss my Mustang

Speaker 1 (24:55):
I I'm even more down for that cuz it's only $200,000 less than the Ferrari <laugh>. Yeah. All right. So go ahead and just read that one right there.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Says good morning first. I just finished June, finally. Squirts episode nine. Yeah. Woo. Best episode yet. Oh, why, thank you.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
So if you haven't listened to episode nine where we talk about how June squirted <laugh>, this guy says Go listen.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
My wife and I are brand new to the lifestyle. We had a dinner date with another couple on Friday and it's been great. I've noticed my wife's sex drive has doubled

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
Who you. And it's been great. I'm typing this as you guys talk in the speakers about the benefits of the lifestyle. June, did your sex drive increase in the beginning stages of talking about the lifestyle with John? So that's the first question.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well, did your sex drive, Did your sex drive double or at least in or increase As we started talking about swinging in the lifestyle and getting into it. Just the thought of it it sounds like.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
I think maybe a little bit. I think once we joined the lifestyle, once we went a few times, then it really, really went into high gear. But I would say maybe a little bit I noticed at first when we just talked about it. But definitely once we started getting into it.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Okay. Tell us about that <affirmative>. What do you think caused that increase? Once we started going to a club more regularly,

Speaker 2 (26:32):
I think because we were literally being ourselves completely ourselves sexually with each other and communicating better with each other of this is what we like, this is what we, this is what we wanna try, this is what we wanna try

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Individually and together.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
And so I think it just brought us closer together.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
I mean, think about about how many people have been married so long and there are maybe sexual desires each of them has that they'll never tell the other one. Mm-hmm. Because they're afraid of their reaction. And that would be negative. I mean, gosh, we were married over a decade and a half before we found the lifestyle and we've told each other things in the past couple months that we, we've never, ever discussed and I wouldn't even know how to bring up.

(27:23):
And so I think that has a lot to do. I think that the openness in communication has a lot to do with them. People, people often say the lifestyle improves their relationship. And from the outside that seems weird. <affirmative>, at least it did to me. How could opening a relationship a bit, not that it's opening relationship, it's not polyamory, but swinging is different than that slightly. But how could that improve your relationship swinging with other people involved? Well, a big piece of it for us is that it forced us to be able to talk to each other about how we actually are sexually without the shame we were taught to have. Yes. And so we now know each other more fully and deeply and we're okay with each

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Other. Which increases the sex drive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
It bond you closer together. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
So absolutely. Like I said at first, I think maybe a little bit I noticed, but definitely after the first few times we went to the club, started talking about what we wanna try together, what we wanna try and individually, whatever, all of those things definitely made it jump into high gear. And like I said, we've mentioned this multiple times in different episodes, but we already had an awesome sex life. We already had a great sex life.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
We weren't trying to fix anything or improve

Speaker 2 (28:37):
<laugh>. No. It was amazing. And we were already having sex three, four times a week. So for

Speaker 1 (28:43):
15 to 18 years.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
So it was already great. It's just even better now because of we're able to fully be ourselves with each other and love each other with how we really are.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
And when you're raised in a society where you're taught you're not okay to be who we are that causes a division within each of us, against ourselves. <affirmative>, It kind of in a way kind of teaches you to divorce yourself from a young age. If you're a woman and you're like, Hey, I'm really sexually attracted to other ladies and you're taught that's evil, you're wrong, You're this, you're that. You're discussing <affirmative> it. It drives a wedge in between your you and yourself. It splits the one you are into two. And

Speaker 2 (29:35):
Well, a friend of mine said that she told me a few weeks ago that she said she knew at a young age that she was attracted to girls. But because of how religious she grew up, she could never tell anybody or ever actually make action with any of that because of how she grew up.

Speaker 1 (29:56):
It wasn't okay to be who she was. And that, that's a theme we've come to adopt and we want to make sure is always a part of this podcast as this, that it is okay to be yourself. Listen to us, seriously hear my voice. It is okay to be who you are, <affirmative>, wherever that looks like. Now I know someone's gonna take that to an extreme. If you're Jeffrey Dahmer, it's not fucking okay to be who you are. <laugh>, if you're a terrorist, a cannibal, someone who hurts people, no. It's not okay to be who you are. <laugh>. You should be someone else. You should be better. Yeah. But in general, as with what we're talking about, again, I know there's extremist out there everywhere, but with however you are, it's okay to be who you are.

(30:47):
But it's, we believe that <affirmative> and we believe everybody has been taught to be against themselves. And that's been reinforced through culture and society and social pressure and whoever's opinion is on the news the most and pressing people socially and politically. But the thing is, we can't change who we are. We can improve and become better. But as far as your preference and what you are, we didn't choose our kinks. I mean, I think our kinks chose us. Damn. That'd be a good t-shirt too. <laugh>. I didn't choose the kink life. The kink life chose me. I didn't choose to swing your life. To swing your life chose me. I am. We need to put it out on some merch.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
I like it Babe.

Speaker 1 (31:24):
<laugh>. We had someone else write a

Speaker 2 (31:27):
Couple days of

Speaker 1 (31:28):
That one. Yeah, well they said hey. Oh, it was one of the reviews on Apple Podcasts.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
Oh it was?

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah. Which by the way, if you haven't left a review on Apple Podcast or anywhere you listen, go leave us a rating and review. Yeah. Have just reach more people. But someone on there said Yeah, it takes five seconds to do. Just go click it. Someone said, And by the way, I will definitely buy the vodka helps if you

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Make it <laugh>. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
If we make it, they will buy it. June.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
Hey. Okay. And then the other part, Ah, here we go. <laugh>. Oh, okay. Also, I want to add John being surprised by a blowjob. Every episode is fucking fantastic. Thank you. But John, Oh shit. Ah. Why have you not given June head on the air? That's a great question. I would love to know the answer to that one.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
I have a great answer. Well, number one, I would love to eat out June on the air.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
He did yesterday. And I got there in five minutes. It was awesome. <laugh>, if that

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Well it wasn't on air, it

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Was in his bed. No, it was. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
But still, I told June, I said, Get in my bed and sit on my face right now. And she goes, Yes, I master. And then, okay.

Speaker 2 (32:36):
I did sound not say that

Speaker 1 (32:38):
Actually. She probably probably said yes Daddy is what she probably said. Yes. Then she climbed on my face and sat on it and I ate her out and she came in about five minutes <affirmative>. So we are sitting in our home studio, which is my home business office that we've converted it into a full video and podcast studio for this and other things I do. And sitting here with the setup, we have the chairs. We're in the table in front of us. The space we have it's extremely difficult in this small corner where we're set up for me to get down, Flip June's legs up over her head, <laugh> without dropping your two and a half feet to the floor from the chair she's in.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (33:26):
I'm all for it. I'd have to figure out how to get this where to lay you down, Get the microphone off the mount which is bolted in <laugh>. But that's the only reason we have not at this point. But I am looking at June's newly pierced nipples. <affirmative>. She pierced her nipples for my birthday. Now I'm gonna tell you people right now, if that isn't love, then I don't know what love is <laugh>. All I know is I love her, but I don't think I love her that much, that I do that for her. And that's saying something

Speaker 2 (33:59):
I love. If you're not gonna do a Prince Albert for me or start a ladder for me.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Nope. Nope. Sorry. I love you. I will fly you to Cancun. I'll do anything. Hey, probably not that. So

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Hey, you heard that on the air, right? You heard that guys? He said he would fly me to Cancun. Fuck.

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Well I'm going with you. You ain't going by yourself.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
I know, but

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yeah, I'll take you. You on vacation and I'll go with you. Of course. <laugh>. No, I just say that to say June is an awesome woman and that is something she wanted to do for me. It came a great personal pain. Yes, I paid for it, but she really paid for it. She's one who got

Speaker 2 (34:35):
<affirmative> cause they did one. And then I'm like, shit, fuck. And then I gotta do one more cause I'm not gonna just do one.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Wait,

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Who? The second one hurt worse. <laugh>. Cause I knew the pain was coming.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
<laugh>, There was actually a question in one of the social media groups, I think yesterday or this morning about, you know, had the free nipples or the no brawl club crop top you were wearing and you weren't wearing a bra with it. <affirmative>. And somebody asked, somebody asked, Hey, how was it getting your nipples pierced? What it feel like? Was it painful? It

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Okay. I responded to that this morning actually.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
Okay, well how about you tell us how you responded?

Speaker 2 (35:13):
I said, Holy fuck, it hurt.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Well, that's a clear message. I like that.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
And then I said, It's still sore, but it will be worth it. I think's what I said so holy fuck. Or maybe it was just, fuck, I don't remember. But I said fuck was definitely in one of the words cuz it was my favorite words.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Was it just fuck or was it a sanctified fuck? Cuz that would be a holy fuck if it was sanctified

Speaker 2 (35:35):
<laugh>. I don't know. I just said <laugh>. Fuck it hurt. Lol. And then I think I said, it's still really sore cuz it's only been, well, tomorrow will be two weeks. So it's only been a couple weeks and it'll be worth it.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
Okay,

Speaker 2 (35:57):
So was that the last part of the email? I think it was.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, that was the last email. Yeah. Here's another one. I don't know if it's

(36:11):
It's a question or just a thank you. People write us all kinds of things. I'll just read it. Hey y'all. So excited to have come across the new Swinger's podcast. Well, thank you <laugh>. I relate to June in so many ways. I love that I found someone whose lifestyle journey is similar to mine. I've been open about my bisexuality for about six years. This is a lady speaking. Okay. We played on off with unicorns until recently. Well, congratulations. We're always looking for those unicorns. Yes, we are. And we're learning why they're called unicorns. Yeah. These fairy tale beautiful damn creatures. My husband and I have recently started swinging. She put swinging, actually, I think she had a misty typo <laugh>. And we started swinging and then she wrote me back another one going, Hey, I think I invented a new word swinging. So we'll just call you K.

(36:56):
You know who you are. Thank you for introducing me to a new term called Swinging <laugh>. And we love it. I shall continue to use it in your honor. So they recently started swinging almost a year now we're enjoying all aspects of the lifestyle, listening and learning about the lifestyle. We've had mostly great encounters. We have just one awkward one, don't we all <affirmative>? Yeah. Well, we'll be attending our first event in November in a place near us. Have y'all heard of eye candy events? Yes. We went to one Saturday. Two nights ago. Yeah, two nights ago. We went to one and it was awesome. We've been to a few of 'em actually. They put on a great event that I'm looking forward to listening to each of the episodes on. Number two, please keep up these educational conversations for those of us who appreciate and accept what you're saying. Yeah, we appreciate you. Thank you. Thanks for writing that. Yeah. And even though it wasn't a question, here's a deal. We enjoy hearing your feedback. We do this to document our own journey, but also to help others like us, i e <affirmative> if we've learned something that we can share with you to make your journey easier, why we do this.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Okay. So this is just a really cool thing we wanna share with you. When you start something like this podcast, you never know who's gonna hear it or how it's gonna help people <affirmative>. But June, I want you to read this one. This is from a licensed marriage and family therapist out on the West Coast.

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Hello John. And June, I just wanted a quick note, wanted to leave you a quick note to say how refreshing I find your podcast. Aw, well thank you. Thank you. I am a licensed marriage and family, non family therapist who specializes in ethical non-monogamy and lifestyle couples here in, like you said, in

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Her area.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
In her area. I am always looking for new content. While there are others valuable, there are other valuable podcasters. You two are wonderfully articulate, relatable, and entertaining. <laugh>. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Well, it's all those blow jobs. June keeps randomly dropping on me <laugh>.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
But most importantly, you provide content that touches some deeper levels that align with my clients' concerns in se in session. Because of this, I started recommending your podcast to my clients. Wow. Keep up the good work. Wow.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Wow. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
Yeah, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Marriage and family therapist who specializes in ethical non-monogamy and swinger couples, probably things like that. Sounds like <affirmative>. And she's recommending our podcast. Now, if you're listening to this, by the way as of this episode, we've only had this podcast around for about a month. And we're right about literally today we're probably gonna break 10,000 downloads. We have advertised to nobody. We had no following, No, no, no SEO training, internet market, none of that. We literally just started putting stuff out there. And there's that whole thing that people say in business, they say, Well, if you build it, they will come. And people say, No, they won't. And that's true in so many cases. This podcast, thanks to you all. Yeah, this has been the exception. We're literally probably gonna break 10,000 downloads. We're right on the cusp of it before we go to bed tonight.

(40:22):
And that's because you all have started listening to it. And we're so glad to hear this from this marriage therapist because it reminds us of the value that we're adding to people's lives. And again, we don't do this just to tell our story because you, let's be honest, if you're listening to this right now, you really don't care about our story. But if you do, it's because you're trying to learn something so you can improve your story <affirmative>. And so we focus this whole podcast, every episode is based on what are people getting out of it that they're trying to get out of it. We always look at the problems that we faced, that we hear other people facing, and then talk about how we've heard other people get through them or how we've gotten through them. Because the whole goal of this is to provide value to you by helping you get past whatever it is, whatever battle it is you're facing.

(41:17):
And so again, if this has been helpful for you take the next five seconds, scroll down, click the five stars or however many stars you think this podcast is worthy of in your podcast, wherever you're listening to this. And leave us a review. Leave us a rating and review. It takes literally two seconds to click the stars and it takes maybe another nine to 10 seconds to just say something nice. That's helpful. Tell us the value when you do leave it so other people know what you're actually getting out of it. Don't just say, Oh, it's a great podcast. Tell us what you really like about it. Tell us about what you really got out of it or what it helped you

Speaker 2 (41:55):
With. What makes it great for you?

Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah, What exactly was the value you've gotten out of this? That can be two or three sentences. It doesn't have to be a lot. Or it can be or it can be long. We don't carry either way. But yeah, just right now, take the next five to 10 seconds, go click the stars, leave us a rating and review so we can reach more people just like you.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Well, and I was just gonna add that that email meant so much to me because it's from a licensed marriage and family therapist. And I was telling this to John the other day when we got the email and was like, Oh my gosh, that email, all the emails mean so much. But that meant so much to me because sometimes I undercut myself of like, Oh, well what value do I bring? John is very smart and very, in my mind, in my opinion, very knowledgeable and he brings so much to the plate that sometimes I wonder, well what do I really bring too much? Do I really bring a lot of value, which I'm working on, on myself, on that?

Speaker 1 (42:56):
You definitely do. But more than,

Speaker 2 (42:58):
But I say that to say that getting that email meant a lot to me personally because it made me feel like, okay, I guess I do bring more value than I think we all do that in life, though. We all undercut ourselves. I really do think we all need to work on not doing that to ourselves.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
<laugh>. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (43:19):
But that's why that one meant so much to me cuz it's coming from somebody that helps a lot of people and that's our hardest to help other people as well. And so yeah, it just meant a lot.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Like this person, they make a living and they have specialized their higher and advanced, higher education in helping people in their relationships in this podcast of ours. To hear that that's a resource that they see so much value in <affirmative> that they're like, I'm gonna recommend this to my paying clients who are in bad situations that could potentially and maybe are destroying their relationship and family <affirmative>. I mean for you to the therapist out there who wrote us to this, to hear you say that, to get that email it really does mean so much to us personally. But more importantly, it reaffirms that we are hitting the nail on the head when it comes to providing the value that we do <affirmative> that we're trying to provide. It's a reaffirmation that, okay, we're hit, we're hitting that nail on the head and to keep doing that.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
So yeah, be sure leave a rating in review. Again, it takes five to 10 seconds. Go click those stars and leave us a honest review. It takes another maybe 10, 15 seconds. Everyone has that time in a day. We really do. If you don't have 30 seconds to spare, you don't have a life <laugh>. So help us reach more people like you. Yeah, if you've been helped by this, go click the stars, leave a rating, leave a quick review. We will love to see it. Send us an email. But most importantly, leave us those ratings and reviews so we can reach more people just like you. And you can be a part of this mission to help others just like us, just like you, and we can all enjoy the lifestyle more together. So go click those stars and leave a review and we'll see you in the next episode.