John & June get naked (and June blows John live on the air!) as they answer your emails & questions about getting started, hooking up, and having fun in the swinger lifestyle! Get your questions answered here!
(YOU CAN ALSO FIND ALL OF THE RESOURCES BELOW AT: https://www.newswingerspodcast.com)
***SEE JUNE'S PIERCED NIPPLES RIGHT NOW ON HER ONLYFANS PAGE, CLICK HERE!
**NEW SWINGER COACHING! Overcome Insecurities Faster & Get Your Questions Answered With Personal Swinger Coaching From John & June. CLICK HERE To Learn More...
*GET THE FREE "SWING-EASY" 2-PG PDF GUIDE! We Show You The 3 Easiest Ways To Find & Connect With Other Like-Minded Swinger Couples In Your Area In The Next 24 Hours (or less, GUARANTEED)! CLICK HERE!
GUYS, Are You Having a HARD Time Staying HARD? CLICK HERE & Use The Code "NEW" At Checkout To Get $30 OFF Your Order of FDA-Approved ED Medication So You Can Stay Harder Longer And Drive Your Sex Partners Wild!
*"VODKA HELPS" T-SHIRTS, CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS NOW!
***Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a quick rating & review and SUBSCRIBE so we can reach more people just like you and notify you when we publish the next episode!
***Have Questions About The Swinger Lifestyle? Send Us An Email To Possibly Get Your Question Featured On The Show (Always Anonymously- so no worries there!).
Send us an email at: NewSwingersPodcast@gmail.com right now!
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!
https://twitter.com/NewSwingersPod
*Some links may contain affiliate links, but we only recommend programs & services we personally use & love and know will help you on your swinging journey! :)
John & June get naked (and June blows John live on the air!) as they answer your emails & questions about getting started, hooking up, and having fun in the swinger lifestyle! Get your questions answered here!
(YOU CAN ALSO FIND ALL OF THE RESOURCES BELOW AT: https://www.newswingerspodcast.com)
***SEE JUNE'S PIERCED NIPPLES RIGHT NOW ON HER ONLYFANS PAGE, CLICK HERE!
**NEW SWINGER COACHING! Overcome Insecurities Faster & Get Your Questions Answered With Personal Swinger Coaching From John & June. CLICK HERE To Learn More...
*GET THE FREE "SWING-EASY" 2-PG PDF GUIDE! We Show You The 3 Easiest Ways To Find & Connect With Other Like-Minded Swinger Couples In Your Area In The Next 24 Hours (or less, GUARANTEED)! CLICK HERE!
GUYS, Are You Having a HARD Time Staying HARD? CLICK HERE & Use The Code "NEW" At Checkout To Get $30 OFF Your Order of FDA-Approved ED Medication So You Can Stay Harder Longer And Drive Your Sex Partners Wild!
*"VODKA HELPS" T-SHIRTS, CLICK HERE TO GET YOURS NOW!
***Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a quick rating & review and SUBSCRIBE so we can reach more people just like you and notify you when we publish the next episode!
***Have Questions About The Swinger Lifestyle? Send Us An Email To Possibly Get Your Question Featured On The Show (Always Anonymously- so no worries there!).
Send us an email at: NewSwingersPodcast@gmail.com right now!
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!
https://twitter.com/NewSwingersPod
*Some links may contain affiliate links, but we only recommend programs & services we personally use & love and know will help you on your swinging journey! :)
Speaker 1 (00:00):
<affirmative>, welcome back to the New Swinger's podcast. I'm John Nam June, and we are naked as usual.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
<laugh>. Little chilly today though.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Little chilly. Little chilly. Today we have the super sexy q and a. These are questions from all of you. Many people just like you who listen to the show and they write in, they email us and they have questions about a lifestyle or something they're facing. And so we're just gonna read some of those today and jump right into it. The first one says, Hey to both, or Hey to you both <laugh>. Hi guys. Have just discovered your show after listening to hundreds of swinging podcasts over the last six years and thought I'd reach out. We are so and so. We're not mentioning names <laugh>. They're from Europe. Oh wow. I'm, I'm 46 and she's 45. We've been married 10 years together, 15. And her origin story's a little different For most swinger couples, we started talking about swinging shortly before my 40th birthday. We had always watched porn together and I began to notice how turned on my wife would be watching women with multiple guys and girl girl scenes. This became the subject of our dirty talk while fucking and eventually led to this, the blah discussion of swinging. You can tell her voices are a little bit under the weather here. Do my best. Bear with me. Our barrier to swinging was my wife's body confidence.
(01:31):
She hated her. She hated her tummy after having our children and had a complete fear of being rejected by other couples because of it. So we spoke about swinging for six years before my wife had a tummy tuck in February this year. Now she's a brand new woman full of confidence and happy again. Yeah, congratulations on that.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yeah,
Speaker 1 (01:54):
We've been to three clubs now, including a big organized social at a club, but we haven't played with others yet. Not through fear, but just because we haven't had that far away attraction yet.
(02:08):
We'll get there and we're happy to just playing with each other in sexing environments for now. Yeah, how a lot of it starts. That's how it started for us. <affirmative> and oh, he is just saying keep up the great work you guys need to get on Twitter. There's a huge swing community on there, <laugh>. Hey, if you have any Twitter advice send us an email at new swinger podcast gmail.com. We're actually we are on there. We do like at New Swinger pod is the name. And we'll put a link in the show notes and description. But yeah, we're not totally aware of how to market on there, so if you have any ideas
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Let us know.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Yeah, so anyways, this person's just saying thank you, I guess, boy, you're gonna have to bear with us. I apologize again for the clearing of the throat constantly. All right. New swinger. Couple question. This one's a lot shorter. Hello. My wife and I are at the beginning stage of the lifestyle. We have a couple that we're friends with who are heavily engaged with the swinger lifestyle. They took us to the club last weekend so we could see what it's all about. We have been texting most of the week asking questions we met prior to the club to ask more in person questions. Good. I like how these people are walking into it asking lots of questions.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, that's
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Good. My wife and I are excited about our future with the lifestyle, but we're both taking it very slowly. There's so much to understand and as we observe and talk more, we get more comfortable articulating our thoughts and desires around the lifestyle. My question is from your podcast number one <laugh>, where you mentioned a three step method for oral sex and it gets your wife off every time. <laugh>, could you please share those three tips? I I've gotten emails. We've gotten emails like that. Yeah I talked about it, but I actually don't think I actually talked about what exactly you do. <laugh>. My wife has never been overly excited about oral sex receiving. That is mostly about being self-conscious but I wanna increase my skill and provide her amazing orgasms. Hell yeah, dude. <affirmative>. But I don't know how to improve my skill with our trying different methods. All right, so how do you go down on a lady and make her come? That's basically what he is asking from episode one. I talked about how I learned this technique from this porn tower, Eric <affirmative> what do you call it? Technique again? The cross T
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Cross. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (04:35):
The cross T technique. There's more detail that goes into it, but basically get down there, find the, flick your tongue up and down five times the speed. If one is the slowest and 10 is the fastest, start at about a six. Just go up and down five times and then go left and two times and then five up and down again and then left and two times, that's basically it. Seven to 10 minutes. I usually get June there. <laugh>. Yep. Now the thing about it too is this. You wanna be reading her body. Every woman's body body's different and you know, look for body cues. Is her body shaking or is her body kind of convulsing a little bit or is she making no noises that are
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Pleasurable? Mine twitch.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Yeah,
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Mine twitches.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Your leg twitches kind of <affirmative>. And I can tell when I
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Uncontrollably it twitches on its own. I'm not controlling it, it just does
Speaker 1 (05:43):
<laugh>. Yeah. So sometimes I'm doing this technique and it feels really good to her, but she's not like twitching. But when I know that when she's twitching it, I know at that point, okay, I'm in the right place, I'm in the right spot, <affirmative>. And so just kind of look for that and if she likes it a different way, make sure she tells you like, Hey, I like it. I like better when you're doing this or that or here or there. Sometimes it takes some communication up front, but yeah, basically, yeah, just up and down five times left and right twice and don't stop until she's there. And again, along the way, look for body cues, breathing, twitching, moaning noises if it's feeling good for her. Would you agree with that Jen?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah. And I would say as you're getting her there, don't go faster with your technique. Don't just stay the same tempo as she's coming. Cause that same tempo as she's coming, stay the same tempo. Wouldn't just because she's starting to come go faster, stay the same tempo.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah. It's one of those guy mistakes where if she's starting to come, we just wanna jackhammer <laugh>. No, keep the same rhythm and tempo. Just cuz she's coming just doesn't mean go faster. Harder or change. Don't change anything. Just keep doing what you're doing and she'll like blow through.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
And I was also gonna add too that, I mean for me, I don't want fingers, don't put your fingers up there. I only stimulation. So make sure you're understanding what exactly she likes and wants you to do. Cuz for me, don't put your fingers up there, just focus on the clip and that's all. So just make sure you're, that your woman is telling you clearly what they like and what they don't.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yeah, exactly. Cause every woman's different.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Cause I've went to the club and got eaten out and the girls are jamming their fingers up there and that probably works for them, but not necessarily works for me. So just make sure you're communicating that clearly.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
And that's a big thing too. I mean talk to people, <laugh>, talk to each other, what feels good, what do you you not like? And then just do what they like. Yeah.
(08:06):
So this next one says rookie. Hi guys. Enjoying the podcast. Very relatable. Good humor and sound device. Thank you <laugh>. A bit of a long rambling email here. It's not that long. My wife and I are in a similar situation. She's open to exploring with women but doesn't seem to be interested in other men. I'm good with that. But the reality is that that could change over time and I guess I would have to at least be open to the discussion on that <affirmative>. So in time, maybe if she does have an interest in playing with other guys, our one experience was with an attractive acquaintance who while at some while having some drinks showed us her breast. Nice. She had recently had them done. They looked great. Awesome. She took my wife's hand and had her feel them. She asked me if I wanted to, of course I wanted to <laugh>, but I checked with my wife if she was okay and she said, sure hell yeah, good wife. <laugh> right after she surprised us again by leaning in and kissed my wife in a very passionate way. Oh god, I love one that is so hot to
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Watch <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
She then turned to kiss me, but I stopped her to check with my wife being check with my wife being nothing like this had ever happened before or even been discussed. Good. This guy's on it. Yeah, this guy, he's like, he's checking with his lady even though he really wants like that's cool. That's
Speaker 2 (09:21):
How we are. Yeah, that's really good.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
And so my wife said to kiss her, so I made out with this woman in front of my wife, which was super hot <laugh> fuck. I remember the first time I did that. That is so fucking hot. <laugh>. This went back and forth with a lot, along with a lot of caressing. When the woman told us she wanted to come home with us, she was telling me she was going to fuck my wife. And how did that make me feel? I told her I wanted to see that
Speaker 2 (09:48):
<laugh>
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Would've been my response too. Yeah. My wife said no because the other woman was pretty drunk, even though I know she was right. My dick was very disappointed.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Aw,
Speaker 1 (09:57):
<laugh>. Okay. Yeah. So your wife's a good lady too. She has a conscience. She's going, Hey, this lady's drunk. Yeah. Even though we both want her <affirmative>. Oh man, that's rough. But you did the right thing. She was too drunk to drive. We drove her home and then went home and had her own good time. There you
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Go.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Unfortunately, for a few reasons, this never went further with this woman, but it was good in that it showed my wife, she could trust me to respect her comfort. Even though we hadn't said any rules yet. It was a great first experience even though it was completely unplanned and never really discussed prior. I do have a question for you. I get the vibe that June wants either a male, female, male threesome or maybe a couple swap, but may not be comfortable bringing it up. If she did, how would you handle it? Would you be open to either Both. On either. Okay. So the question after all that this person says they get, and I mean you know can validate this or invalidate obviously <affirmative>. This person says he gets the vibe that you either want and two guys or maybe a couple swap like you and I swap with another couple.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
No, not at all. Actually what I want and what I prefer is me and John with another lady. That's what I prefer. I started out in this thinking, oh, I'm gonna probably do things with guys too. But I really don't have a desire to do that really. I really don't. That might change. I'm open to that changing but at this point I have no desire for that. I just want threesomes with a lady <laugh> and John <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Well you don't have to twist my arm
Speaker 2 (11:47):
<laugh>.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
You can twist some other things and interview that. So he's also asking if you did want that, how would I handle it? Well, my thing is she's her own person and we're secure <affirmative>. I mean, if she wants to try something, I mean, if I wanna try something, I wanna have the right to try it. Yeah. It doesn't mean it doesn't take away anything from me. And so I wouldn't honestly wouldn't have a problem with it. Would you be open to either neither or both? I'd be open to anything she's open to. I only play with ladies. She wanted to try something out that's up to her <affirmative>. So let's see this next one. Someone's asking if we have other platforms only fans. Yeah, we're getting some other stuff going up. You'll hear an announcement pretty soon and they said new to the podcast. Enjoy it. Super hot. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Awesome. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
All right, you wanna read this one? Yeah,
Speaker 2 (12:46):
It
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Says your podcast is great. Yeah, that's the subject.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Hi guys. I'm just dashing off a quick note to compliment your podcast. I'm only on the first episode, but the chemistry between you comes across really, really well. I look forward to listening to the rest of your episodes. I'm only halfway through episode one. What a fantastic job. You're doing all the best and hugs. That was nice. Thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Glad you're enjoying it. And by the way, make sure you leave a writing and review. Just go down, take the next three seconds, leave us a writing and review. Absolutely. We have quite a few people that have already done it, but every time you leave one, it allows us to reach more people just like you who are new and we can help them as well. <affirmative>. So real quick, just go there right now as you're listening, just click that five star review if you think this is a five star podcast. And leave a review and tell us, just say one thing you like about this podcast. That's it. All right. So here's another one. It says New listener. You wanna read that one?
Speaker 2 (13:47):
<affirmative>. Hey, just wanna say a quick thanks for doing the show. I've just started listening, but I've found it great. Thank you. And so <laugh> from Calgary, Canada. I definitely got a fast start into the lifestyle which was presented in a presented its own set of issues. I went to a swinger club as a single male just to check it out. Met the love of my life that night, year and a half together now. Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Congrats.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Wow. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, I appreciate the stories and answering questions as I'm sure all of us in the lifestyle can relate in a lot of ways. Your show has definitely helped me relax and feel more confident. Well thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
And we'd love to hear that by the way. Even if you don't have a question, if we've helped you in some way, that's awesome. Yeah, we do love hearing that. So continue to feel free to write us and let us know that new swinger podcast gmail.com.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
This one's saying again, <laugh>. Okay, this is episode one. Bite me in the Ass again. John, in episode one you mentioned three things the porn style showed you to make your woman come every time. Can you share those three? Thanks for the podcast. We're newbies and I've learned a lot. We're headed to our first club tonight in Orlando.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Oh, nice. All
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Right. So yeah, I just talked about that so I won't explain that again, but this one here. All right, go ahead and read this one. Actually, this one, the subject line here is Age Gap.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Okay. Hello. My husband and I have been doing this for just over two years and still consider us as newbies. One thing we have noticed is that the age gap in couples, I'm mid thirties, hubby is late thirties. Most of the couples we encounter are in their late forties early fifties, if not older. It would be interesting to hear you take on the swinger age gap. I personally have struggled to be with men 20 years older than me. Not to sound shallow, but it makes it hard to find couples who are actually attractive. Thanks.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah. Oh yeah. Who are equally attractive. Yeah. <affirmative>. So she's younger and she's saying, Hey, there's lots of older people and she wants somebody her in age that that's not shallow how
Speaker 2 (16:02):
We are.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
We want people we're attracted to and well, the thing is, those people are out
Speaker 2 (16:09):
There,
Speaker 1 (16:10):
You just have to find them. You can connect on different links. If you go download our free resource, the swingy resource, there's a link. It's the first link right there. I think in the show notes we show you a few different places you can connect. I mean within the next 24 hours with people who are just like you and many of them who I'm sure will definitely be your age. These are online resources and that's a free resource we give out to you <affirmative>. Yeah, it's one of those things where if you're in your mid thirties, you want people your own age. That makes sense. <affirmative> there's also online social media groups and I think the big thing is just getting around groups and the lifestyle and I think you just kind of organically find those people. Yeah. Cause I mean we're in our mid to late thirties <affirmative> and we haven't had really any problem meeting people our age. <affirmative> well we're late thirties at this point, but mid late thirties. But what's two or three years? Doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah. I mean for us, a lot of the people that we've met has just been honestly through the club. We have really great friends and we've met them from going to the club. But yeah, there's so many different platforms out there that you can connect to. Even groups on Facebook, even there's so many different groups on Facebook that are swinger things. Yeah, there's lot there.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
There's
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Events,
Speaker 1 (17:47):
There's parties, there's hotel takeovers. Yeah, there's all kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
So I just would say the more you're around that environment and maybe going to the clubs more, if you have any clubs near you that would probably be the best bet cuz that's where we've made a lot. Most of our good friends now that we play with was from the club.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
And I mean connecting online is one thing, but it's a whole nother thing when you meet and hang out in person. <affirmative>, I mean definitely it's not the same, it's way better. But again, don't feel like you're sounding shallow here. We all have what we're attracted
Speaker 2 (18:28):
To. We all have
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Preferences and that's why we're all in this because we're looking for something <affirmative> right here. We go ahead and read this one here. Help us let them down.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Okay. We are newbies and also seating a seating a podcast. And you both are such an inspir.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Oh I think Matt's starting
Speaker 2 (18:49):
A podcast. Oh, starting. Oh, okay. We are newbies and also starting a podcast. Awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. And you both are such an inspiration. Aw, thanks. I do have a question for you. We met a couple and they were fun to hang with, but once it got to the bedroom, their style was not our vibe. How do you tell a couple that it isn't something we want to do again, even though we would love to remain friends, they kissed terribly. Their oral was awful. And the ducking,
Speaker 1 (19:20):
I think fucking, oh
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Fucking,
Speaker 1 (19:22):
I think Autocorrected.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Oh, whoops. Their kissing was terrible. Their, their oral was awful and their fucking was a rabbit. Where we are more slow and sensu again, thank you for all you do. Well thank you. Okay,
Speaker 1 (19:37):
So these people had an experience with people they would love to remain friends with. Yeah. They're just, their style of in the bedroom isn't theirs. <affirmative> and Well, one thing to remember with that is that at least I found this and we have everybody brings their own style of what they're used to and what they like into the lifestyle. And a lot of people don't know how to do anything differently because, and we've been married almost 20 years the way we do things in the things we like in the bedroom. But when we show up to the club, it's like or to a party, we don't really know any other way to be unless we learn that way to be <affirmative> because it's just kind of how we do it. But nobody else could be expected to know that. So this is a totally valid concern. <affirmative>, but I'm just giving a little bit of context there. I I remember we, we've kissed some people who kissed terribly and it was actually really annoying. Great person but it was like, man,
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Can I stop kissing your teeth?
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Can, yeah. Anyway, so here's the question she's asking, how do we let them down? Still wanna be friends but we're just not into their kind of thing in the bedroom. So here's what I would say. June, you can obviously go off of this as well or anything, any other thoughts you have I would just tell 'em, hey, it was great having that experience with you. We're still trying to figure out what we like and so we're trying a number of different things and I would leave it at that way. You're not criticizing their style cuz nobody would like that and that would be kind of rude probably. But I would just say, Hey you know what, we're new to this and we're exploring lots of things. We're trying, wanting to try out different things and figuring out what we like. And so it was fun playing with you all and we're continuing on and just trying to figure out and try some other new things to see what we like and I would just leave it at that way they don't feel like it's against them and if you are new you probably are trying new things.
(21:55):
So now that's probably an honest answer. What do you think June?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
I don't know. I think I would be a little bit more honest. I would say something I, I'm more, I really enjoyed hanging out with you guys and experiencing that but we are a lot more essential. So if there's a way that we could, I don't know, dial back a little bit I don't know. I'm just thinking if they don't know, they don't, if they're so fast but you're more sens and they don't know that they can't. Cuz if they are, I am where I like to be central but I'm also can be kinky and can also like to be dominated. So I'm just saying I wouldn't throw in all the cards just yet because maybe if you're just more kind of honest with them about how you are, who knows, maybe the next time it would be awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
No, that's a great response actually. I think the difference between your response and mine is do you know how well do you know these people and <affirmative>, how much discussion are you willing to get into it? If you don't know 'em really well and you fear offending them maybe don't go into the detail <affirmative>, but if they are open and it's okay and you feel it's okay, then totally I would totally take June's advice and just say like she said, well here's what we like and this and that and it was a little bit different. So we're not really, cuz there's nothing wrong with being honest either. But yeah, again, I would just say it comes down to how much of that conversation do you want or need to have? How important is that? Do you know these people? Are they open to hearing that and not being offended or it just all depends on you?
Speaker 2 (24:09):
I think. Yeah, it does. But for me that's just what I would do
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And I like that because honesty and open communication is really important, especially in the lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
So Well and like I said, if you tell them how you feel about all this, then what if the next time it's amazing. So I don't know I'm that's my 2 cents <laugh>.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
Totally. No and that's a great response. I think these are both good responses. They're just different <affirmative>, but I think they're both great. And the person who wrote that in, I hope you're listening and maybe that helps you
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Out. I hope so guys,
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone and it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of an erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating. But don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout. Cool. So here's a podcast question a couple names so make sure we're not reading those. But yeah, wanna just go ahead and down and read that?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, hi, we love your podcast. We wanna ask your advice on something you had mentioned in your jealousy episode that June only plays with woman, a woman and not interested in playing with men. We are the same. My wife is only interested in continuing to explore her sexuality with women only and has no desire to have any contact with other men. But she is totally open for me to full swap or do whatever I want with another woman. How do you guys handle this when you play with another couple? How do you explain this to,
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Okay, do you want to answer that question right there and then we'll continue on through the email?
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, so the first one was how do you guys handle this when you play with another couple?
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Okay, so basically they're in the same situation we are. Yeah, I'm El ladies, you're only into Ladies <affirmative> now there's another couple. So there wouldn't be any swapping as far as you with the other guy or with this lady and another guy because they're in the same boat we are. As far as what they like
Speaker 2 (26:58):
<affirmative> I don't know. I don't have any interest in playing with men. So if John wants to play with the lady I'm cool with that. As long as I can play too. I don't care mean we don't do full swap, I don't know what you call it, but I guess it's more of if John finds this lady attractive that he wants to play with then he can do that. But I like to kind of be somewhat involved at the same time.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You like to play with her also? Yeah, that's what we enjoy. And so now what you're coming up against here is well what about the other guy <laugh>? Yeah, that's the natural byproduct of this. And so usually in that spur of the moment case <affirmative>, I will be like, if she's the lady's playing with June and I wanna do something, I'll usually ask him, Hey, is it okay if I do this with her, his lady? And if he's cool I'll ask her. I always ask both people just outta respect. And so I'll ask her, does she want this or that or is it okay? And if it is I never wanna be the guy left out or feel left out and I never want anyone else to feel that way either. So I even voice that. I'll even say something like, oh man, I know June is only into ladies.
(28:29):
I don't want you feeling left out. Is there anything I can be aware of for you? Because the truth is some guys love watching their wives get it with other people. <affirmative> it's a hot wife scenario. They love watching their lady with other people, whether it's guys or girls <affirmative>. So I always communicate in that as far as people that we hook up with it does make it more difficult <affirmative> because we basically need to look for a hot wife scenario where the guy either gives his wife a hall pass or he just likes watching her be with other people. Or we find a unicorn, which can be somewhat difficult to find sometimes they're out there but somewhat difficult to find, which is why they call him unicorns <affirmative>. But those are ideal for our scenarios. So when we're putting stuff out there to meet new people, it's like, hey, looking for hot wives and unicorns, unicorn hunters.
(29:37):
We kind of carve out specifically that niche and that's like our message of here's what we're looking for. That way now it might cut out 80% of the people at a gathering or a party or a club, but man, that 10 or 15 or 20%, who is that? We know they're the ones we're looking for. Oh. And they know that we are the ones they're looking for <affirmative>. And so it's not always a bad thing but when we're very clear about that. Now ideally for me, I would love to, oh my gosh, I mean so many opportunities ideally that I could be with so many different ways I I've wanted to be with, but because June is not into guys it's not happened. And so now that isn't making her feel bad or anything, I will never ask her to take one for the team or do something so I can get something. No, never. Absolutely not, would never do that. We don't do that <affirmative>. And so I don't say that to make her feel bad. It's the nature of our situation. And so we roll with it, we adapt with it and as of right now where we're at, does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
<affirmative> and yeah, I would just add to it, there's people that we would like to play with together with the girl, but yeah, we run against the same thing. We don't want the guy feeling left out so it needs to be in certain situations at the club. Well then there's other people he can play with there. So there is a ways around that.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
If there's other ladies at the party or the gathering <affirmative>, whatever you're doing and they wanna play with that other guy he probably doesn't care. So if you're playing with his lady and some other lady playing with him we, we've talked about that with a couple friends of ours we like to get together with, but you're not two guys. And so we always talk, well next time we get together I wonder if there will be more ladies there. That way our guy friend can have someone to play with while I play with her or while you and I play with her. That way it's not like somebody's left out. Well if there's more ladies there that he's hitting it off with. So if it's more than just two of you couples, if it's more than just like you two and another couple, if it's like you two and another couple and maybe three couples or maybe a couple of extra ladies who are there by themselves or as friends, that kind of offsets
Speaker 2 (32:19):
That. It does
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Offsets that dynamic.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
So I'm not sure what their kind of environment they were in, but yeah, if there's more people the better. It also says how do you explain this to the male half of the other couple that my wife is off limits, but if they want I can play with his wife.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Well the biggest thing is to make it clear. Just so you know, my wife, she only plays with other ladies. Making that clear and just letting her know, hey, this is kind of where we're at. So if that messes things up, we'll just roll with it or not. Again, I never want someone to feel left out. I voice that. I tell the guy that and sometimes I end up not being able to play but June does with a lady and they have a good time and that's hot and we both get to watch. So it's kind of a win there too. But sometimes that does happen. But I always just put it out there
Speaker 2 (33:22):
<affirmative>. Yeah, you can do. Yeah, it's just be honest it has been our experience so far that is expected to be an equal swap. We don't agree with this because we feel each person needs to make their own decision about what they're comfortable with. And just because I may play with your wife doesn't mean my wife needs to play with a guy.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Yeah. Now stop right there. That's what we're talking about taking hit for the team.
(33:48):
Just cuz you're attracted to her or the other lady or she's attracted to you, that doesn't mean your lady's gonna be attracted to that guy <affirmative> and that she should feel obligated to play. Absolutely not. I don't know. To me anybody who expects that, oh because my lady wants to play with you John I automatically get to play with Jim. No because this person's saying we're each your individual human beings <affirmative> and that comes down to consent and what we want. And just because somebody wants to enjoy the time with me doesn't mean that June's obligated to go do something. As a result if you run into people like that run. So get up and fucking leave <affirmative> because most people in the lifestyle that we've hung out with, they're not that way <affirmative> and they wouldn't be that way. But those kind of people are out there and they're called assholes and we don't deal with those people. That's why. But that's why being clear and what you both and what you're looking for, that's why the clarity is so important. So it helps minimize those things those situations.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
It does.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
But yeah, no, it's never like a, oh well because you did this. I get that. No, everybody has their own independent free will agency to say, yeah, I wanna play with this person. Or regardless of what their spouse or partner is doing.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
I have heard from other people too though that there are people that assume that
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Oh, they assume, but then they get shot down, they get pissed off cuz it's like, well why the fuck did you
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Assume, well does that happen with us? And I was like, sorry, no
Speaker 1 (35:32):
<laugh>. Yeah, well you don't just assume consent from somebody <affirmative> like what the fuck? Yeah, you ask and when you ask it's like there's two pathways, there's a yes or a no.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
But yeah, you can't never assume anything but yeah. Oh yeah. Well the situation you're talking about <affirmative>. Yeah, the guy was an asshole and he assumed that's why he got shot down and burned and yeah, that's why he's the boat of our jokes now <affirmative> because he was such a dick, an idiot, he so assumed because his lady wanted to play with me that automatically he gets to play with June and June was like, I'm just not interested. Well
Speaker 2 (36:10):
At that point I didn't know how I felt if I was ready, if I wanted to play with guys or girls or not. I didn't know at that point we were still pretty new to it. I knew I wanted to play with girls, but I didn't know where I stood with do I still wanna play with guys or not? Yeah, I mean now I don't. No, I don't want to Now I know that, but back then it was kind of like I wasn't sure, but I didn't wanna be rude and so I was trying to be nice about it.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
And you were
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Yeah, I was like, I'm sorry. No
Speaker 1 (36:40):
<laugh>. But the thing is, the guy could have redeemed himself if he wouldn't have acted like a douche <affirmative>. Now everyone who we know, they hear about this guy off the record. It's like, hey look out for that guy. What? And so he just kind of shoots himself in the foot. But <affirmative>, yeah, you don't ever assume you can play with somebody cuz someone else is playing with your friend, with your partner.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
They also say we never want to leave anyone out. So we understand that the other guy needs to have a fun time also, but just sure don't know how to make this work for us and the other couple so no one feels left out. We usually suggest that the men just stick to their own partner while it is more of a woman lead play experience. But there doesn't seem any couples out there that are into the situation or at least we have not found any that are into this. Any suggestions?
Speaker 1 (37:36):
So there he's saying they're not finding very many people that are not into what?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
I think just letting him be able to play with the girl and the other guy sit and the other guy. Yeah. I mean
Speaker 1 (37:51):
Every person wants to get involved and have a good time and it is like if one of us can't play then it's, it is kind of like that. Well and that's understandable.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Well and they're saying right here that they have mentioned to the people, well hey, what can you play? Can you play with your partner?
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Oh yeah, like parallel play. Yeah,
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Well no. So that if he's playing with his lady <affirmative>, the other guy's lady, then he's just saying he suggested that maybe he could still play with his lady. And I mean we've done that before too. I got eaten out at the club one time and John was kissing on my boobs and stuff and then hi, her man was behind her, her from behind. So he did get involved at the end of the day. That should be, you have your partner so that should be a way to suggest that. And they're saying that they, they're saying they've mentioned that to the people.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, well and just recently too, we were at a hotel type thing, <affirmative> with another couple and me and the other lady, we didn't do anything together nor did you and the other guy. But they played together. We played together <affirmative> on the same bed and And her were making out while he was doing things to her and I was doing things to you so that wasn't a bad time. That was like,
Speaker 2 (39:20):
No it's
Speaker 1 (39:21):
Great. I mean I would've loved to have done more as
Speaker 2 (39:23):
A
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Guy <affirmative>, but that was still really fun in a great win. It was really fun. And so it's like I didn't have to play with the other lady to have a good time even though I'm very adventurous that way and I very much am interested in doing that time. It just didn't happen. And that's fine. Maybe we'll in the future with this person maybe it won't, it'll be somebody else. Yeah. We just like to clarify what everyone's looking for and what do you wanting to do, what do not wanting to do. And everyone just puts it out there and we usually lead it. Cuz some people are shy understandably. I'm just more blunt to the point. I don't wanna get into this thing and then have miscommunication and misunderstandings. What are you looking for? What do you wanna do? Here's what we want to do, here's what we're willing or we're not willing. And once we go first everyone else, it seems like they feel more comfortable because we already went first.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
I think so.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
So we don't have a whole lot of drama. The one time we did have a drama with that one guy you told no to, that was one of our first, I think hotel parties ever been to. We were brand new <affirmative> and it wouldn't have mattered who the guy was. You were just so new. I wasn't checking things out. It wouldn't have mattered who it was,
Speaker 2 (40:47):
But I wouldn't
Speaker 1 (40:48):
Have. So if that happens to,
Speaker 2 (40:50):
And they said any suggestions so if they're saying, they usually suggest that the men just stick to their own partner while it is more of a woman lead play experience. But there doesn't seem any couples out there that are into the situation or at least we haven't found that you
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Have any. Oh,
Speaker 2 (41:06):
There's plenty of people out there. Do you have any suggestions?
Speaker 1 (41:07):
There's plenty of people out there that are under parallel play <affirmative>, me and you on the same bed, then them doing things with each other on the same bed next to us. We've had a number of experiences. One of our first experiences or our first few experiences were that there's plenty of people out there who do that. And it's a great way to heat things up too.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Yes it is. But he was saying if he's playing with this other guy's lady, okay and the lady and his lady doesn't wanna play with that guy and they're suggesting that he just plays with his own partner while this guy is playing with the wife too. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1 (41:53):
You just need to talk to people
Speaker 2 (41:55):
Talk. They're out there though. That definitely are, they are definitely out there cuz we've met some
Speaker 1 (42:00):
<laugh>. Yeah, I mean again, some guys enjoy watching their ladies with other people or couples <affirmative>. It's typical hot wife scenario is what it's called. So you find some of those people,
Speaker 2 (42:13):
My suggestion is just getting out there more because you will find them cuz they are out there. And then if you only play with sing a single woman, then how have you been able to find one? And that says, we have been actively looking for a female only to play with, but so far has been impossible to find. We go to meet and greet swing clubs and are on the same apps SDC and stuff, but we are getting nowhere. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated. Well thank you.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
I would, I would just say keep showing up because I mean we've met, well we've met and played with there's a couple I can think of offhand, ladies who were either single or their guy wasn't there, but we ended up meeting them at Club <affirmative> and ended up playing with her a couple times. So yeah, I mean it is just kind of the say the game game is just keep showing up and meeting people. That's why our big goal, excuse me, is always just to show up and make friends. That's always our biggest goal with anything we do is to show up and make friends. Because then we're not disappointed if something doesn't happen that we are trying to make happen or wanted to happen. But we do have an idea of what we want. And so if we meet somebody and they're saying, well hey, what are you into looking to experience? We at least have an idea and they'll know if they're a good fit with us or not.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah, just being open and honest up front is the key. I remember one time John was dancing with this lady and then I walked, jumped in and was dancing with her too and we're like all our hands all over each other in the dance floor. And then she asked, Hey, do you wanna go to a room? And I was like, I looked at John and I was like, I want to go. Do we want to go? And this, we were pretty new. I was like, I want to, do you want to
Speaker 1 (44:21):
That was that the smoking hot one from up in the Pacific Northwest? Yeah, she was in town on business.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yes. Fuck. I know. Oh my gosh. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
That
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Yeah. But John had told her husband though, like, Hey, just so you know, June is only into ladies. So right there he already kind of told the guy, Hey, just so you know, she's only into ladies. She's not into full swapping.
Speaker 1 (44:53):
Well, and I had asked him also, well, you and her were going at it <affirmative> in this big bed with these giant picture windows in the room. My favorite room with about 60 people watching you all. It was hot. I asked him, I said, well what are you guys into? He and I were just stood back against the wall buddies talking, Hey, how's it going? And he said, well, we're full swap. I'm like, oh, okay. So in addition to playing with you when he said, oh, we're full swap, that told me, all right, I would love to play with his lady. But that told me the expectation is that he would play with you and I know you're really not into guys. And so I didn't pursue it <affirmative>, even though I would've loved to, especially with everything you told me about her <affirmative> and how she felt and how good it was. But I just knew immediately like, okay, damn, I'm not gonna be able to do this cuz I know June won't be isn't into him. He wasn't really your type anyway. No, but even if he was, you're not into guys.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I'm really not
Speaker 1 (45:56):
At this point. So I was just kind of bummer John. If somebody might be like, well bummer John, you know, don't get to have fun on that one. And it's like, yeah, well nope. And it did kind of suck in my mind because I really wanted to
Speaker 2 (46:10):
And I hated that cuz I don't like that. That's my preference. But I can't really change how I feel.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
<laugh>. Yeah, exactly. And I would never ask you to. And so it's one of those things you just roll with and adapt and <affirmative> mean. Our situation is a number of these questions today and it's really just trying to find your people. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, trying to find your people who you click with who are into the same things as you. There's alignment and you know, can have your fun with them. Oh, what's June doing? What are you doing <laugh>? Oh, she's going down on me again.
Speaker 2 (46:55):
Round two. Round two, John?
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Yeah. Well she just sucked me off right before the episode started all the way <affirmative> and so that was damn good. <laugh>. And now she's going for round two <laugh>.
Speaker 2 (47:10):
But
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Anyway, send us your questions if you have more questions, which, and leave us review takes three seconds. Again, scroll down, click those five stars. If you think this is a five star podcast, leave us a review. Yeah. Tell us what you think, what you like about the podcast and it helps us reach more people who are new to the lifestyle just like you who are trying to navigate just like we all are. And so go ahead and click those stars, leave us a review and we appreciate you and we will see you in the next episode.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Yes, thank you.