New Swingers Podcast

Speaker 1 (00:00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John.

Speaker 2 (00:00:02):
And I'm June.

Speaker 1 (00:00:03):
And we are naked.

Speaker 2 (00:00:05):
Of course, we

Speaker 1 (00:00:06):
Are, as always in our home studio. Yes, because if you're going to have a swinger podcast, why not do that naked too? Because you do a whole lot of other things naked. Hell

Speaker 2 (00:00:15):
Yeah, we do.

Speaker 1 (00:00:15):
Hell yeah. Naked is fun. God, we're always taught it was bad. Don't do that. I mean, you don't wanna go on downtown naked. You could get arrested and shit. Obviously not very productive. But there are nude beaches and places where people like to be naked.

Speaker 2 (00:00:34):
I wanna do that. That would be fun on my fucking list. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:00:39):
Nds resort.

Speaker 2 (00:00:40):
NIST Resort. Nudist.

Speaker 1 (00:00:41):
Or cruise. Or swing. Swing. Resort. Cruise. Cuz he can be naked there too. But yeah, so today we are talking about how to resolve an argument with your partner and enjoy hotter sax and a lifestyle. So here's the thing. As you and your partner get into the lifestyle, if you're brand new if you're two normal people who aren't abnormally on the same wavelength and click so good that there's just no issue, I don't think I've ever known two people like that. But when you get in a lifestyle, you'll find that you both have to start communicating better by default about what you, what want, what you don't like. And sometimes what you share or you're afraid of. What are they going to think of me if I share this? But this really turns me on. I want to try this. Or the thing is, we all have these different desires and things we want to try and our partners can have responses, reactions to them.

(00:01:44):
Maybe they're on the same page, maybe they're not. Or maybe they think that because you want something that maybe they're not willing to give you or they can't give you. Maybe they internalize it and make it about themselves even though it's not. And that can cause drama. It can cause trouble. And so then you're having fights and arguments. And we know about this all too well. We've been in the lifestyle since this past year at the time of this recording. And we've had a handful of big arguments ourselves. And we can look back on those now and we can see what the problems were. But we didn't know it in the time, at the time. And so that's why we're sharing this with you today. We're going to share with you a few key communication points that we've learned that are highly practical to where you are.

(00:02:37):
If you are new to lifestyle or you're curious about the lifestyle, you're probably going to bump into some of these. And if not, you're going to bump into things probably similar. And so this is just so you know you're not alone. But also here's what we are learning through some of these things so that you can go ahead and not just have it destroy your relationship or you just want to kill each other, but instead you can actually have more fun, be closer and love and understand each other more. And both have more fun together and in the lifestyle. So that's why it's important to be able to have the ability to resolve an argument. And by the way, I don't know if you've ever had makeup sex, if you're listening to this podcast, I hope you have cuz it means you, you're old enough to have been in some relationships. But makeup sex is great. And if you do have an argument it not only is it helpful to resolve it because it's healthy for both people involved or all people involved or whatever your situation is, but also when things were emotional recently sex tends to be better. It seems more intense. It's like that makeup sex. So yeah, today we wanna just share some things with you because June and I actually had a major, major fucking blowout argument last night.

Speaker 2 (00:04:03):
Last night, guys last

Speaker 1 (00:04:05):
Night. So we're real people like you. And I think these things probably come and go. I think as time goes on and you love and accept and understand each other better, they're probably less than more we're finding. But if you're human you, you're probably still susceptible to things like that. And so we're going to share a little bit about what that was and what the issues were and what we've found since sleeping on it since last night and into today that we think you can apply to your life or hopefully he'll help you avoid one of those super, super heated arguments. But before we get to that, real quick, just for a couple minutes right here, we're going to read you a couple of emails that you all have written us a couple of written in. And these are questions that people just like you are asking who are new to the lifestyle or they're curious about it. And so this stuff is relevant to most people and so that's why we're going to read it here. And so you want me to go ahead and start reading it or do you wanna read it? Cuz I'm doing a lot of talking. How about I read it. How about you read it? They want your sexy voice anyway, by the way, if you wonder little promo here, if you wonder what this sexy southern voice of a woman looks like, cause this is a podcast, you don't know what she looks like. She's hot.

(00:05:29):
If you wanna know what she looks like, I know you heard it in the introduction, but she has an only fans and you can go see exactly what this beautiful voice on this podcast sounds like and we promise you will not be disappointed. So yeah, then there's that. Just click the link in the description, in the show notes. It's the, it's as far as I know, it's the very first link there as of now. So it'll say June's only fans or something like that. Go ahead. Ahead and click it and check out what she looks like.

Speaker 2 (00:06:01):
Okay. So it says hello. I started listening to your podcast and wow, it's exactly what a newbie couple should be listening to. Well, thank you. Yeah, I loved it so much. I listened to every single episode in one sitting. Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (00:06:17):
<laugh> a lot of episodes that is, and these are 40 minutes to an hour and a half times long. The average about an hour to hour 15. Wow. This person. Wow. Well thank you. We're flattered really. And I'm glad we got that much value out it that you kept listening and hopefully it was helpful for you.

Speaker 2 (00:06:33):
Gosh. Yeah, I hope so. Let's see. I have a question that I felt it wasn't touched on enough. It goes as follows, what if you as a male or female, half of the relationship has a desire and that desire is expressed? Then the other partner says, okay, we'll start the journey. But as the journey starts, you find that you are the only driving force and you feel like you have to keep dragging your partner to engage and participate with you in bringing up ideas, fantasies, desires, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (00:07:13):
Okay. Is there, they might elaborate on

Speaker 2 (00:07:17):
That. They're going to give examples that set it looks like.

Speaker 1 (00:07:19):
Okay. I dunno if you wanna answer then or okay, they're give example.

Speaker 2 (00:07:21):
Let's just, yeah, I'll just read the whole thing and then we can kind of address

Speaker 1 (00:07:23):
It. Yeah, we'll go back to that paragraph to address the actual question.

Speaker 2 (00:07:28):
For example, my partner relies on me for everything regarding desire, fantasies, et cetera. If I don't bring it up, it never gets mentioned or it never gets done. I have asked if this is something they don't want to engage in, it's okay. But I get told that's not the issue. I get told either they are too busy to think about it or they are engaged in work life, et cetera, or they just don't have the imagination to think about it. What does a person in a relationship do when they find their partner says they want to start the journey, but you see and feel no motivation to do so from their part. And they keep telling you that they rely on you for that motivation. I feel like I am forcing my desire on another person and I don't want to do it anymore. It feels wrong. We have been to lifestyle events and even planned dates that the other party didn't follow through.

Speaker 1 (00:08:35):
That happens that happened to us like about two weeks ago. So you're not alone.

Speaker 2 (00:08:41):
Yeah, definitely. But that was about it. After those events, radio silence, we haven't engaged in in a conversation. And if I bring a conversation about the lifestyle, it's a very shallow conversation and then it moves on to something else. I understand that desires can be at every different level, but to not have any, to the point of not remembering to talk about it, should I just give up or give it some time and conversation? I either have to jump or get off the fence. I can't be on the sidelines any longer. And this is more than just dipping your toes in the shallow end of the pool. This is a person who forgets. There's even a pool. And when you mention there's a poll, they say, well, I was waiting for you to say something. Say something thing. Again, I am the driving force but gets shut down when I set things into motion.

(00:09:48):
Maybe you guys have an idea or sharing this topic. Any other couple can have an answer to those couple like us. Ps I have had conversations about even going to a wellness doctor to check if it can be a hormonal issue, but also get shut down. Thank you for your time to read this message and hope an episode can be made with this topic. I've never heard an episode dedicated about this in any other podcast. And also please keep up the podcast. It's amazing. And for sure my f favorite of all the others I hear. Oh, well thank you again. Appreciate

Speaker 1 (00:10:27):
That With Glover Valley before you

Speaker 2 (00:10:29):
Yeah. It says yes. It's only me who listens to lifestyle podcast. My wife doesn't listen to them. I have even set her, sent her a few that could be of help to listen. But up to this day they have not listened to them. On the other hand, I don't listen to lifestyle podcasts that focuses on sexual stories and parties. I listen to the podcasts that are very educational for mental and emotional support for the lifestyle. Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:11:01):
All right. So well we appreciate your honesty there. Yes. And we're glad to hear that. It sounds like you're a good person who you're not wanting to press this on somebody you just thought they were interested. So June so back in this paragraph here cuz it was kind of a long email, says what if you're a male or female, half of the relationship has a desire, excuse me. And that desire is expressed. Then the other partner says, okay, let's start the journey. But the journey starts, you find you are the only driving force. You feel like you have to keep dragging your partner to engage, participate when you bring up ideas, fantasies, et cetera, desires. So this person says that it sounds like she's interested, you're like, oh yeah, let's do that. Yeah. But then just kind of spaces out and doesn't offer any ideas, doesn't engage, isn't asking him what he likes or saying, Hey, is there an event coming up? Or it's always him bringing it up it sounds like. What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 2 (00:12:20):
Well my first thought is what if she's telling him that she wants to do it to please him? What if she really doesn't want to do that? But she's maybe saying that she does because she doesn't wanna hurt his feelings or because she knows that he really is wanting to do that, to enjoy the lifestyle. But deep down maybe she secretly really doesn't want to do that.

Speaker 1 (00:12:54):
That was my thought. My thought was she's not actually interested. Because the thing is people make time for things that are important to them and things that they're interested in. If they're interested or it's important, they will make time for it. If you want to know what's important to a person or what they're interested in, don't listen to what they say. Watch what they do with their time. Where do they spend their time? What do they do with their time? What do they do with their free time? People do what's important to them. And if she's not engaging, my first thought is again, she's not actually interested. And I was thinking a lot the same as you Jim. She's trying not to disappoint you. Maybe hoping you'll forget about it. I'm not saying that's the case cuz we don't know. You

Speaker 2 (00:13:37):
Don't know her? We

Speaker 1 (00:13:38):
Don't. Or this other person. I don't know if he said it was.

Speaker 2 (00:13:41):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:13:41):
He said his wife was his wife. Okay. So we don't know enough to give a judgment, an educated judgment on it. But people make times for things. They make time for things that they're interested in.

Speaker 2 (00:13:57):
It could also be that maybe she's scared to get in the lifestyle if she grew up maybe the way I grew up, very religious. Maybe she's scared that if she gets into the lifestyle and learns about herself, then she'll be judging herself. Kind of. I was at the beginning of this, oh, I don't wanna admit to myself that I am bisexual, but I mean I'm past that now. But I don't know, maybe she's scared to.

Speaker 1 (00:14:26):
Well because that label came with, anytime you label something in that case with you, the bisexual thing, it comes with baggage and I implications in and assumptions. If you say, oh, he's Democrat or he's Republican or he's Christian or he is atheist, we all have these ideas here. There are swingers. We all have ideas about what we think that means. And so even if it's not totally true, if you label yourself something, what have you been taught to think about that and what baggage does that come with? I would just say ask her. Yeah. Just be straight up clear and say, hey, you know something like, hey, I know that we are interested in the lifestyle together. And one thing I'm noticing though, and I'm kind of concerned and I would like you to be very honest with me because I love you. Just ask her say something. I feel like we started off on this together to explore together. But now it seems like I'm always the one bringing it up and wanting to try things and explore. And I noticed that not only do you really not contribute to that, it doesn't feel like you do, but it also seems like you're literally forgetful. You don't remember the conversation happening, which is really concerning.

(00:15:45):
Either it's like, maybe it is a mental health memory thing. Maybe she got a blunt force trauma of some sort, like a car accident. I don't know. Maybe she is that forgetful that happens. Or maybe she's just lying to you because she doesn't wanna address it. But maybe mean most people want to avoid confrontation. Yes, I'm a pretty confrontational person. I don't seek it out, but I'm not fucking afraid of it. I'll go have the conversation. Most people I know I don't think are that way.

Speaker 2 (00:16:14):
I'm not really,

Speaker 1 (00:16:15):
And that's a good thing. I mean, to an extent. Well there's a time for that

Speaker 2 (00:16:20):
Though. Well, and John's helped me over the years. He, I have a lot of family members that dip shit. Yeah. Big time. And so he's really helped me come outta my shell to really stand up for myself. Now do I still enjoy confrontation? No. But to the point in my life now that if somebody's going to be a jackass to me I'm going to tell them that they're being a jackass and tell them how I really feel.

Speaker 1 (00:16:43):
Yeah, we did some of that

Speaker 2 (00:16:44):
Last night instead of being

Speaker 1 (00:16:45):
You and I both.

Speaker 2 (00:16:46):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:16:47):
We both told each other that last night. We'll get to that. Don't worry. Yeah, it's coming.

Speaker 2 (00:16:51):
But yeah, like you said though, I feel like maybe she either really isn't interested and she's just doesn't know how to tell you honestly. Because she's afraid that you maybe, cuz I know a lot of people are afraid of rejection. Maybe she's afraid that you'll reject her if she's honest with you. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (00:17:15):
Or maybe if I don't wanna do this with him, what if you find somebody else who wants to do it with him and then I get replaced Or what does that mean? And the thing is too, when you're asking her to just, Hey, will you just be really honest with me and just tell me what your reason is for really not engaging in this? Give her an out. I mean, and what I mean by that is let her know whatever your answer is, it's okay. And I look at Meg, I just want to connect with you and understand you. Yeah. Because I thought we were doing this together, but you don't seem to engage or contribute at all. And so I want to know you. I want to know because I care. And if there's something we can work past or if there's something in your mind that I'm not seeing I want to be able to know that and work past it with you if we can. I mean, if you're generous and loving and you give somebody an out like that and it's like, Hey, I won't get mad. Literally just asking. Now if you say that you can't get mad if they tell you something you don't like cuz that might happen. But if you said you, you're not going to get mad then can't, the biggest thing is getting her thoughts and opinions about why it is this way.

Speaker 2 (00:18:26):
So you asked, should I give up? I wouldn't give up. I would try to, I would take some time, like you said, to have conversation. I would definitely think that's the best route to do is just like John just said, just be like, look, I don't care either way. I love you either way. Whatever your answer is, I just need to know honestly how you feel. Are you wanting to do this? Are you not wanting to do this? I'm not going to get mad. Just please be honest with me and tell me so that I'm not wondering or like you said, you don't wanna be feeling like you're forcing things on somebody. You're that you're forcing your desires on her.

Speaker 1 (00:19:07):
Yeah. Or pressuring.

Speaker 2 (00:19:08):
Or pressuring. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:19:11):
So if it were me and this was the exact scenario as I understand it from this email, I'd say about three, four times a week I would just walking through the house or whatever, I would look at you June and I would say, Hey, are you ready to talk yet? Are you ready to talk and tell me your thoughts on why you don't engage with this with me. And if it goes nowhere, okay, I wait another day or two. Hey, just wondering if you're ready to talk yet. I'll go on for fucking ever be like, be like, holy shit, it's been 17 times. You keep asking me so well you're not answering me. And so I care enough to keep asking you. Until now, that's just me. But if I want an answer, I want a fucking answer

(00:19:53):
Because it matters. Not cuz I'm selfish or an asshole, but because it matters to me. Cuz this is our relationship and it's a pretty big thing. And I know he said something about mental health memory, it was something like, we're not dipping our toes in the pool here. She doesn't even remember a pool exist. What that tells me, what I think he means by that for what it sounds like is that they'll have the discussion about the lifestyle and exploring it. And then it seems, it sounds like he's saying she literally forgets they had the conversation. So here's my question. If it is a mental health thing, that's a bigger issue that you need some real professional help with. If she has some sort of memory issue, brain injury that happens to people who are fully functional all the time and you can't really tell by looking.

(00:20:51):
But my question would be this, does she only forget the lifestyle conversations that you have? Or does she forget what she had for breakfast? Also is she forgetful in other areas of life? Constantly forgetful, like shockingly forgetful, not like, oh darn, I forgot to throw the laundry in. It's more like, Hey, we're going on vacation and then she forgets where you all agreed to go on vacation. That would be very concerning. Yeah. So my question is, does she forget other stuff in other areas of life or is it just this, if it's just this, she might be avoiding you and it's probably not. It's probably like a story in her head and feelings that she has about that she's uncertain of. And so she's trying to avoid it so she doesn't have to deal with it. But she doesn't, people don't always know how to tell you something. And even subconsciously or unconsciously, sometimes we don't realize we're not going there having the conversation. That would be very helpful. We just avoid it. It's a big thing that most people in some way do to some extent. So that could definitely be the case as well.

Speaker 2 (00:22:03):
Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 1 (00:22:06):
What do you think more on that one?

Speaker 2 (00:22:09):
I think that was pretty much all I had to say with that one

Speaker 1 (00:22:12):
Words of Forest Gump and that's all I got to say about that. And nobody heard him. Oh my gosh. The Washington Mall.

(00:22:20):
Well, so yeah, we hope that's helpful for you. We're glad you're enjoying the podcast that you're binge listening. That's awesome. Yeah, it's obviously helpful for you. And we shockingly, we get that a lot and we're very grateful for that. By the way, if you get anything outta this podcast, take the next three seconds and go click the review, the rating review, it takes three seconds to scroll down, end of the show notes and click that five stars. If you think it's a five star podcast, you wanna click something else, click something else. But it only takes three seconds to do that. So if you go do that right now, just do it. We really appreciate it. And leave a review and by a review that only takes five or 10 seconds if you just say something that you like or have benefited from that helps other people who are about to listen to the podcast or can who are considering it, it helps them get on board and listen, which can help them get more on the same page with their partner and learn about and enjoy their lifestyle too. So it's not like about us, it's about you and it's about other people just like you and us.

Speaker 2 (00:23:24):
I do think it was funny cuz we had a review the other day that was like, I love that June gives John a blow drop every episode.

Speaker 1 (00:23:32):
Yeah. And you know what? You ain't done it yet.

Speaker 2 (00:23:35):
I know.

Speaker 1 (00:23:36):
Here, do you want me to actually read the review? I'll read the actual one. I have it right here. Yeah. Yeah. The actual review says this. Awesome review by the way. There it is. Here it is. Great sexy podcast. Love these two. Thank you. Very informative and sexy all at once. The on air blowjob is a bonus. I concur. I do concur. Highly recommend and check out June's only fans. She has a great pair of piercing's. Wink. Hey.

Speaker 2 (00:24:09):
Hey. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:24:11):
I told you, just click the first link in the show notes. You'll know what this person's talking about,

Speaker 2 (00:24:16):
But <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (00:24:17):
So anyway.

Speaker 2 (00:24:18):
Yeah, he took some fun pictures of me yesterday.

Speaker 1 (00:24:20):
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (00:24:21):
Listen. Christmas lights and Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:24:24):
You, oh, <laugh> Christmas lights. And you ain't never seen sinfully, sexy Christmas lights. <laugh> wrapped around, wrapped around a beautiful woman's body like this. I'm telling you, you are missing out, but whatever. So this one is from well I'm going to say your name, but this is from a lady I believe is the one writing it. And so would you like to read this one as well?

Speaker 2 (00:24:49):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (00:24:50):
Since I do so much talking anyway.

Speaker 2 (00:24:52):
Yes, you do. Longtime listener, first time emailer here. L o l. First let me say that we love the show and we've been listening from Dun Dun episode one. Well hell yeah. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:25:08):
Hi Yo. Yaya

Speaker 2 (00:25:09):
<laugh>. My husband and I have been together since we were 15 and 16 and that was 28 years and four kids

Speaker 1 (00:25:16):
Ago. Congratulations. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (00:25:18):
Damn. That's awesome. We celebrate our 20th anniversary this month of December.

Speaker 1 (00:25:24):
Oh, there it is. And we're planning

Speaker 2 (00:25:28):
A trip to resorts. They haven't nailed down which one yet. Anyway, just wanted to ask about y'all's religious background. It is so similar to ours, as you can decipher, I'm from the south, so thank thank Georgia Bible Belt and my parents deciding we needed to do this extreme style while I was a teenager.

Speaker 1 (00:25:54):
Oh boy. Yeah. Good time. You had that thrown in your face, huh?

Speaker 2 (00:25:57):
Oh kidding. We had never gone before, aside from being Easter but now all of a sudden I'm shamed and made felt bad about everything I'm feeling. It was wild.

Speaker 1 (00:26:11):
So this is a teenage girl being shamed for everything she's feeling because she's just a fucking teenage girl going through what teenage girls go through.

Speaker 2 (00:26:21):
My question is this, do your parents now know that you don't think that way anymore? That your perception of God has changed? I assume. And do they accept that mine no longer speak to us as we have a gay teenage daughter? They die if they knew I was so bisexual. Lol. But I, but I digress.

Speaker 1 (00:26:47):
I think she's being really sarcastic there. I know it's an email, but Yeah,

Speaker 2 (00:26:52):
Actually, I guess it's a good question for both of y'all. Cuz John, you were raised in it too. I'm struggling with lots of emotional trauma from it, but I'm working on it slowly.

Speaker 1 (00:27:01):
Okay, so let's stop. We'll go to the last part after this. Yeah. So they're asking about what are your thoughts on that? So she says they're think southern Bible belt. They got apparently extremely into church when she was a teenager. All of a sudden she was being shamed and made to feel bad. Mm-hmm. About everything. She was feeling like it was totally wild. So let's look at that. That's what I call, or not just me, but that's what a lot of people refer to by the way, as religious trauma. And people in the church world would probably laugh at that and say, what are you talking about? We're trying to help. There is a whole lot of trauma that fucking happens. Oh

Speaker 2 (00:27:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:27:53):
I mean, number one, you're valid for having this opinion lady who wrote this in because you're not the only one who's experienced it and so much gets swept under the rug. I mean, imagine being born and from the day you're born, you are taught that you are naturally bad. How's that for your fucking mental health? You're natural born sinner. You're naturally bad and you're bad for sinning even though it's in your nature, which means you can't not do it. But when you do, you're bad for it. So you're responsible for it, but how can you be responsible for something that you didn't create, didn't create your own nature. So how can you be responsible for your own nature? Yeah. That that's a sin nature because that's what the Bible teaches. Look, I grew up in church. I've been in church most of my life. I even went to Bible college.

(00:28:48):
So when I say I know more about this shit than most people I do. Yeah. All right. I'm no scholar. But think, just think about the mental health aspect of being told everything you're feeling. The desires you have, let's say sexually, that you didn't pick, you just have, whether you're born that way or whether they develop and evolve and they arrive at some point in your life, doesn't matter. The thing when I say it doesn't matter, it's like most people I talk to, they didn't choose their kinks and fantasies or what they're like sexually. They just find for some reason they're fucking turned on by it. And that's just the blunt, honest truth of most people. And so think about how could you be responsible for that? Well then you're shamed for that because it doesn't fit into this box that you're told you're supposed to fit in, but you didn't make yourself that way, but you're responsible for it.

(00:29:48):
And then if in this person's case, their daughter is for whatever reason, has that attraction of their teenage daughter has a, sounds like a lesbian attraction that kid probably has no idea why. It just is. And the grandparents won't speak to him. How fucked up is that sad way to, sad way to show your granddaughter the love of God so adamantly professed by abandoning her and not loving her where she is. Yeah, I think that's the big difference I think between who I understand Jesus actually was, and the Bible we have today and the church of today, especially in America and Western society, it's like they seem very different the deeper you dig. And there's an excuse for everything from the church justifying anything. Oh, don't judge. People love people. But if they're sinning and you're trying to save 'em from going to hell, then judging them is a good thing because you're trying to love them outta where. But when you're shitting on people, <laugh> like that's not the same thing. It's had centuries of fucking practice with mind control and manipulating people.

Speaker 2 (00:30:57):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (00:30:58):
And controlling people. And they've been politically involved for centuries. You can just do a simple history lesson. And so there's a whole lot that goes into that. And we're really sorry to hear this, but I digress as well. <laugh> off that point. But what was the actual

Speaker 2 (00:31:15):
Question? The first question that says, my question is this. Do your parents now know that you don't think that way anymore? That you perception of God has changed? I assume. And do they accept

Speaker 1 (00:31:26):
That? Okay. So do they know that our perception of God has either somewhat or slightly or dramatically altered from what they taught us we were supposed to believe?

Speaker 2 (00:31:37):
I'll go first. Absolutely not. There's no way I could ever tell my family that I'm bisexual, that I don't went to church in over a year. I started to mention something at Thanksgiving and it was just stupid. So

Speaker 1 (00:31:58):
There was an immediate church auto response. Oh yeah. The person wasn't even thinking when they responded to her. It was like, oh, she said this objection, hit that button. So this comes out.

Speaker 2 (00:32:08):
And it was immediately,

Speaker 1 (00:32:10):
It was really weird

Speaker 2 (00:32:12):
And I should have known better, but I was trying to get out really how I felt.

Speaker 1 (00:32:17):
And you were not welcome to do

Speaker 2 (00:32:18):
So. No. So no, my family does not know. Nor will they probably ever know because I already know everything. Because I grew up in church my entire life. My grandfather was a pastor. It's been in my DNA for a long time. There's no way I could ever tell my family that I'm in this lifestyle, that I'm bisexual, any of this stuff. They would never accept me. Isn't all they would see is that,

Speaker 1 (00:32:50):
Yeah, all they would see is the bisexual part. Yeah. Yeah. And isn't it weird though, the group of people that most strongly professors in this country to love people unconditionally and to be plugged into eternal, unconditional love are the ones who act like that. That that's what an unbelieving world simply finds unfucking believable. And to add to your thing, my whole question would be, oh, telling your family, do they know or would you tell 'em? No, I don't know when it would be important enough. Because to me it's like what's the point when people are already absolutely convinced they're right because they've been taught that they're supposed to believe that they're right and they're is no other possibility that they could possibly not be entirely that. That's called brainwashing. It's like a cult. If you have a friend or a loved one who's in a cult, if you try to get them out of it by talking and reasoning with them, what you'll actually do in many cases is drive them deeper into the cult because it's a mind control thing. It's a manipulation thing. Absolutely. And so I'm thinking, why would I need to have this conversation with them? Under what conditions would it be so important that we have that At the same time, I already know, like June said, we already know what they're going to say. We know all the objections, we all know the cliches. Well, it's the script. We know they're not script.

Speaker 2 (00:34:22):
It's the

Speaker 1 (00:34:23):
Script. It's a script. Yeah, it is a script. And you're taught the script. I went to fucking Bible college. I was taught in one or a few classes how to address every specific objection and what to say back to it. But it only went so deep. And when you start digging deeper than that, that's where things start falling apart. And so they've already been psychologically conditioned to think like they do. And this is something I say quite often when it comes to spiritual beliefs. They're religious in particular. People believe what they believe because they've been taught they're supposed to believe that way. Yeah. It's very rare. People believe what they believe because they've been taught they're supposed to believe that way. It's very rare I think, and this can be church or politics or any other horse shit that is used as for mind control and people. But I find that to be the case with most things like belief system and whatnot with the average person. And so yeah, there's really no reason to bring it up. It's like why have the fight it unless there's a big enough reason where it needs to be had because not having it is going to be harmful in some way.

Speaker 2 (00:35:43):
And then the last part of the email says final thought, do we have a shot? Let us know on the air if you want lol. And if we've got a shot and you're ever driving through their area where they live, their state, you can

Speaker 1 (00:36:01):
Call us Selden Link. Yep. You guessed it. We're gamers. So they're gamers and the video games and she says, sorry if this is too forward but figured y'all would like this better than some random dick pic. Ha ha. So in other words, would you ever hook up with us if you're coming through our area or if we ever, well, she attached some pictures here and fuck yeah, she's hot. Damn girl, you are smoking hot. Yep. And I mean, we'd wanna get to no you a little bit first, but you would definitely be on the A-list or what

Speaker 2 (00:36:39):
We call the hot. No, I called it the hot list. <laugh>. June

Speaker 1 (00:36:41):
Calls it

Speaker 2 (00:36:41):
The hot

Speaker 1 (00:36:42):
List. And you were definitely on the hot list with that red leather thing you're wearing and great looking couple and yeah. Damn girl, that body. So yeah, you would be way up there on the list. Hey, you know what we would definitely be open to getting to know you more. Let's just leave it. Right. So

Speaker 2 (00:37:02):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (00:37:03):
So now we're finally getting to what this episode is about.

Speaker 2 (00:37:06):
But first,

Speaker 1 (00:37:08):
First, oh <laugh>, here's your favorite part reviewer.

Speaker 2 (00:37:18):
Oh wow.

Speaker 1 (00:37:19):
Damn, you were good at that. What are you doing to me?

Speaker 2 (00:37:22):
What you love Baby <laugh>?

Speaker 1 (00:37:25):
But it was your idea.

Speaker 2 (00:37:27):
I

Speaker 1 (00:37:28):
Know. And I love how creative you are. So you're welcome. That was the <laugh> average podcast episode. Blowjob usually do it at the end. It's like the middle.

Speaker 2 (00:37:39):
Yeah. Well it was time,

Speaker 1 (00:37:41):
Guys. Have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone. And it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating. But don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA-approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout. So how to resolve an argument with your partner and enjoy hotter sex and lifestyle because you get past an argument together, you're probably emotional. And sex tends to be better when you're emotional <laugh> in many people's cases. So we had a blowout last night, shouting, yelling, hollering. Probably went on for two or three hours.

Speaker 2 (00:38:53):
Three.

Speaker 1 (00:38:54):
Yeah, it was, yeah. Fuck huh.

Speaker 2 (00:38:56):
So yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:38:57):
Tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 2 (00:39:01):
Well,

Speaker 1 (00:39:02):
I'll put it on you to start

Speaker 2 (00:39:04):
Last

Speaker 1 (00:39:05):
Since it was your fault.

Speaker 2 (00:39:06):
Yeah, well

Speaker 1 (00:39:08):
I'm pretty much, I'm being crass, joking around, but

Speaker 2 (00:39:12):
Pretty much Well, so I'll start with saying this. So we had not been to the club in probably about a month. It's a

Speaker 1 (00:39:23):
Swinger

Speaker 2 (00:39:23):
Club. We go to the swinger club and we hadn't been there in a month, month and a half. We just kind of were outta town or the kids were sick or we just wanted a break for a couple weeks either way. So we went last week and we met this really sweet couple and she showed interest in me and John both but he, John just looked over at me. Hey, are we cool? Yeah, I would love to.

Speaker 1 (00:39:58):
I I'm interested. Are you interested, Jen?

Speaker 2 (00:40:00):
Yeah. And I kind of just said no, basically now I blamed it on vibes. That's not the truth. But I knew it was what I blamed it on,

Speaker 1 (00:40:13):
I knew it,

Speaker 2 (00:40:15):
But

Speaker 1 (00:40:15):
I, it's a part of what pissed me off.

Speaker 2 (00:40:17):
But I blamed it on that. And we went home that night and fought that night too for a couple hours. And I slept upstairs in the guest room.

Speaker 1 (00:40:28):
Yeah. I kicked her ass out and I don't want you sleeping next to me, get the fuck out of my bedroom. Just to me it's like, oh, why should the guy have to leave? The guy always leaves. I'm changing it up tonight.

Speaker 2 (00:40:40):
So that's kind of how it started. And so for some reason, I think last night it came back up.

Speaker 1 (00:40:47):
We had sort of settled it and talked, well shouted it last week, but there's still resentment inside of me. And it started coming out in conversation and then it just blew up. So there are subtle amounts of resentment in me. And the reason for this is because what it seems since we've been in the lifestyle is that June and I, we both ladies, well same kind of ladies. So just always I would say it seems, but it's kind of been the case that she pretty much gets to play whenever she wants with ladies. And it's just like, I have no problem with it. Whoever you are, I fully accept you and love you, enjoy yourself, I want you to enjoy yourself. But then when it comes to me, it's been more like she's tried to be the gate guard on it trying to guard it and well, I'm not comfortable here, I'm not comfortable with that.

(00:41:44):
And sort of just blocking me from exploring myself. She's getting to explore herself or after seven or eight or nine times of that, but then she's going and enjoying herself afterwards and I'm not stopping her. I was getting a little fucking pissed off cuz it's like, oh well you're a double standard. You're a hypocrite telling me you're not okay with me. But here I am okay with you. Why can't you show me the same love and acceptance to explore myself and excuse me, who I am the way that I show it to you. Why can't you love and accept and be generous to me in the same way that I am to you? Because I don't think it's too much to ask. So there's been this history in the lifestyle where from the beginning that was sort of the foundation laid. So now if she ever is against me in something or doesn't agree, I have to be careful because my instant thought is, oh, here we go again. She's being selfish again. And so that's a story in my head. I need to constantly revalidate and instead of just reaffirming it, because I don't think she's a twisted, wicked person. I think I've always thought there's something deeper that's making her fearful. And that's where she's acting from and she's listening to some story in her head that may or may not be true. So that's kind of where that came from. But yeah, this week last night, the resentment started coming out. She thought we were past it. I thought I was too. And

Speaker 2 (00:43:18):
Well, I think that's what I said. I was like, I thought we were past this. It was a week ago I told you I was sorry and I thought we were past this. And that's kind of what sparked the whole argument again was because I thought he was past it.

Speaker 1 (00:43:36):
Oh, a week isn't a whole lot of time to get past something when you get shut down in front of somebody who is clearly interested in both of us. And I was interested. And so it just kind of seemed like whenever you're interested, it's okay. Whenever I am, it's like eight or nine out 10 times as a no. And then I started result resulting to resorting to I shouldn't be giving you that much power. I shouldn't be giving you the reins on this. I'm trying to be nice, but I think it's being abused. These are the kind of thoughts that are going through my head. And so we've, the five or six or seven major fights we've had, they've all been around.

Speaker 2 (00:44:21):
It's always, it's been about this every time.

Speaker 1 (00:44:24):
Every time it's been around this. So last week when you were opposing it, I was think I immediately started thinking, wow, really again, I thought we were past this cuz we pretty much were as far as we were both concerned

Speaker 2 (00:44:40):
And I thought we were too, honestly.

Speaker 1 (00:44:44):
But then something came up in your mind again that you didn't think would reappear. And it's just cuz you're human, I don't think it's anything to do with you. You wanna talk about that

Speaker 2 (00:44:54):
Well

Speaker 1 (00:44:56):
Or however you wanna start.

Speaker 2 (00:45:00):
My dad left my mom for another woman. I was very young. They were divorced when I was I think three or four. So I don't have any memories with my dad and mom being together or anything like that. But growing up my mom would just talk about how horrible and selfish my dad was. But yeah, that was kind of,

Speaker 1 (00:45:27):
So your dad left

Speaker 2 (00:45:28):
Your mom? My dad left my mom for another woman. And so then we start the lifestyle and that's kind of always been a fear anyway in my life that I've really constantly had to work through. We've been married for almost 20 years. So it's one of those things that I've had to constantly try to work through on my own of, okay, John loves me. We've been married almost 20 years. Just because my dad left my mom for another woman doesn't mean that he's going to do that to me. And I am constantly having to remind myself that.

Speaker 1 (00:46:07):
So sometimes we attack the person we're with, and I've done this too. We all do it. I'm not like accusing June here, we've already discussed it, but oh yeah, sometimes we take the baggage someone else put on our life and we throw it at the person we're with. They're the ones who did it. And when that's not the case, you have to realize that and realize that you're actually destroying your current relationship because of shit from your past that you've not dealt with. But the underlying big fear was that, well what if I enjoy myself too much? Maybe I would leave. And so that's obviously a huge root fear. But number one, I'd never shown any sign of that. I told her I never would. And also just as a guy, my whole thing is alright, so if you look, we're in the lifestyle together, you get to play with the people you want and I get to play with the people I want, we're on the same page.

(00:47:08):
Why the fuck would I ever leave that? Do you know how hard it would be to go probably fine and meet another person? I'm on the same page with who's okay with me being who I am and I'm okay with them being who they are. But then to leave what me would mean, I'd have to go out and find another person, start a new relationship, get to know them all their fuck ups and fuckery, and then sifting through mine and theirs together. And also having them be okay with who I am and what I like and me being okay with who they are and what they like. That would be so much work to me. It's like, why would you ever leave somebody who's okay with you being you? And so my point there is that we kind of came across with, look, I love you and care about you and I'm okay June with you being exactly who you are no matter what that is and what you desire.

(00:48:00):
But if you can't be that way toward me, that's going to drive me further away from you. Because it's not equal. It's not fear, it's not loving. But if you want to ensure that we, you stay strong, one of the best ways is to love me for who I am and accept me and what I'm exploring about myself and the lifestyle, all the things that I'm doing for you, just do the same thing for me. That's the fastest way to ensure it. Now the thing she's afraid that if I enjoyed it too much I would leave. But the thing is, if I don't get to enjoy it, to the extent that I'm learning, exploring who I am, that actually acts as the catalyst that the wedge that gets driven in between us and drives me away. So the thing that she thought would draw me away is actually the thing that keeps me close to her and stable and strong with her, but not doing it is would be the thing that would actually destroy the thing she thought would destroy is actually the thing that would save it. The thing that would. So it was

Speaker 2 (00:49:04):
The

Speaker 1 (00:49:04):
Other way around. And it's a common way of thinking and it makes sense. But

Speaker 2 (00:49:08):
Here's what I, I finally discovered today as we're driving and we were talking about things again from last night. The first time that John well one of, I guess it wasn't the very first time, but it was one of the first times and we're really new into the lifestyle. A lot newer now, but a lot newer then. And so this was the first time that John got to play and we were in the same hotel room. It was a party that we were

Speaker 1 (00:49:45):
At with a handful of couples

Speaker 2 (00:49:46):
With several. She

Speaker 1 (00:49:48):
Was 10 feet away. So she was there.

Speaker 2 (00:49:51):
But in my mind he's playing with this girl lady by, and I'm on the other side of the hotel room. And I didn't like the feeling that I was getting. It was really, I don't know, it was just really painful to see. But once I got involved, I was fine. It that went away and it was good. So in my mind it was like, okay, if we play together, we will be good. But then when we would have these arguments and fights, he would say things like, if you're not going to be on the same page, I don't even want you there kind of thing. Because it had happened several times at this point. Well,

Speaker 1 (00:50:39):
Like we said earlier, she gets to play whenever she wants. But it was different from me. It was almost like she'd always jump in the way and try to sabotage it. But then she would go and have her fun and eventually I'm going, you know what? Fuck this.

(00:50:56):
And it's like, well, it's not that I didn't want her involved in anything that I don't wanna do things together and have there. That's even hotter to me. But it's, I started to realize most of the times that she was there when I had an opportunity to explore the lifestyle for me, she was throwing up an obstacle or getting in the way, but I never did that for her. So eventually it just started to become really fucking annoying. And we've always been very good at communication, talking open. But it became this. Yeah, John, I know what you're saying and you're right about that, but I still dunno how to get past this. And it got to the point where it was like, well sorry, but it doesn't matter how sorry you say you are or you're trying to work through it. Because the bottom line is my outcome never changes. I always get fucked over in the end. I always get the wrong end of the deal. And then you'll go and you'll get to have your fun at the same time. And it's like, okay. So that was something we've had to figure out and work through. Cuz I, I've never believed you're a malicious person. No but I knew it was being driven by fear. We just had to drill down to what that was and deal with

Speaker 2 (00:52:09):
It. And so today I realized I don't wanna feel like I felt that time he played by himself

Speaker 1 (00:52:18):
Separate.

Speaker 2 (00:52:19):
Well yeah, we mean we were saying in the same room, but he played separate from me.

Speaker 1 (00:52:23):
You were not involved with her in

Speaker 2 (00:52:25):
The beginning. Not at all. In the beginning

Speaker 1 (00:52:27):
It

Speaker 2 (00:52:27):
Was just

Speaker 1 (00:52:27):
Me

Speaker 2 (00:52:27):
And her. And so in my mind I'm like, I don't wanna fucking feel that way again because that was really painful.

Speaker 1 (00:52:35):
Understandable too, by the

Speaker 2 (00:52:37):
Way. And so in my mind I'm thinking, okay, but he keeps now at this point with the fights we've had, he's said, then I don't want you there kind of thing. So then in my mind I told myself that John just wants me to sit there in the room with him while he plays with somebody. And I'm just sitting there just once, which is not what he said. He's never said that, not once. But in my mind I fucking convinced myself that that's what he wanted. And that's why I have shut him down because I'm like, well I don't wanna just sit there and watch that cuz it was too painful. I wanna be playing together with you. So

Speaker 1 (00:53:16):
Do I <laugh>, I don't want you just sitting there. I mean for me more ladies the better. I mean what the fuck would I be against that for?

Speaker 2 (00:53:26):
But in my mind, that was kind of what I had been telling myself. Yeah. The story I had been telling myself was that, well, if I say yeah, go for it. Play with this person. I don't wanna just follow you into the room and I'm just sitting there.

Speaker 1 (00:53:39):
Yeah. But she told me that. I'm like, why the fuck would I want sitting there if it's me, another lady, of course I want you involved. That's even hotter. What's better than one beautiful woman? Two, it's like, what's better than two ice cream bars? Three. It's like the more the better. Okay. That's just kind of how I think. So,

Speaker 2 (00:53:57):
But that's what I discovered today was like that. I've been trying to figure it out honestly. But today I finally figured out that's been the root is like, yeah, there's the side of, okay, I don't wanna be left for another woman. But then the other part that's been, I feel like even more the fear has been just that I don't wanna feel like I felt that time that he played by himself and I was just sitting there not participating. I don't wanna feel like that. And you've never had to in my way. Yeah. But in my mind, I'm so my way of controlling that to not have to feel that way, has been trying to control him and not letting him enjoy himself. Which obviously has caused all these <laugh> horrible, horrible fights we've had.

Speaker 1 (00:54:45):
Yeah. So the thing is this, this is why being honest and just talking very plainly and bluntly and preferably calmly with your partners important. What's the story going in through your head when you have an argument? What's the story that you're basing that on in your head? And is it true? Is it actually true?

Speaker 2 (00:55:07):
Because mine wasn't. No, not at all.

Speaker 1 (00:55:10):
I was shocked when she told me I thought, why the hell would I ever want that? I never even said that. And then she said, well you said you wanna eventually maybe go play without me somewhere. And I said, well yeah, that's only because every time you show up you shoot me in the foot. And so it's like, why would I want you there? And that might sound like an asshole thing, but it's valid. I mean, if the tables were turned flipped around and I got all the play, most of the fun, you supported me. But I never wanted you to have, have your fun and to explore yourself and the lifestyle. If eight outta nine or 10 times I was getting to enjoy myself. But those eight or nine, 10 times for you I was shooting you down, but I was out having my fun.

(00:55:55):
People would agree, that's fucked up either way. But again, there was a root to that. It was a story in your head that wasn't true. So when you have an argument with your partner, clarify what the actual problem, and by the way, we'll do an episode on how to communicate clearly with your partner in the lifestyle. We will do that. But this is just for today. What's the problem that you're actually feeling? And is it true? And if it's not, what is it like you're trying to get on the same page here mentally in your thoughts so you can talk to each other and be on the same radio frequency, the same wavelength. So when you're arguing, is the story in your head true? And don't just shout back at your partner because you might know they're right and your ego's getting in the way.

(00:56:47):
And so you just wanna bring up shit from 30 years ago or a year ago or something else that has nothing to do with anything you're talking about. People do that. It's just a bunch of irrelevant information that only damages the relationship further. Like st find out what that story is and is it true? And stick to that and drill down on that. Cuz you might find we did that. It's completely stupid. That wasn't said. That was never said, yeah, that was never what I wanted. But she thought it was. And it's like, well, where'd you even get that idea? I never said that. And she's like, yeah, you didn't say it. I don't know. And so we're human. We mess these things up. But as you get in the lifestyle, you're going to have things that are growth points that are going to challenge you to think different, to expand your thinking and your comfort zone because the person you're married to or the person you're with, your partner, they're an individual human being themselves with desires and fantasies and kinks. And yours might be different than theirs, but you need to make space for them and they need to make space for you. And again, literally I'm at the point, I literally don't care what June's fantasies or kings would've been in the beginning. They would've been different than just the other ladies. Or if those evolve into something else or several other things that I never would've imagined. The big thing is, I love you. Are you doing you?

(00:58:27):
If that's how you feel, I think you have a right to explore that. I care about this person, this other human enough. And I understand that they have their own things, just like I have my own things. I think one of the best ways to love people is accepting them for who they are and helping them given obviously it's not damaging or hurting themselves or others. Clearly there's exceptions to that statement, obviously. But the best way I can live June is to help her explore, support her and watch her enjoy it and even enjoy it with her and vice and vice versa. And that's all I've ever wanted. And we just had to get some of these big boulders out of the way <laugh>. Sure. But that's normal. Just know you're not alone. If you're facing these things and there might, you know, might fight every once a month, you might fight once every six months, who knows?

(00:59:18):
You'll figure each other out though the more that it seems you stick with it and you're honest. Yeah, I mean at this point, if I was starting a relationship over, I would just be like, fuck, look, here's who I am. Here's what I like. Here's how I live. Let's just save each other time. Take it or leave it. It's fine. Just let's not get four or five years into this. And then it's like we're so vested in other ways and we just hate each other. And then we both go off the deep end and hurt each other. So you don't want that.

Speaker 2 (00:59:49):
So just make sure you're communicating it. And for me, like I said, I was trying to figure it out. I've been trying to find out what is it, I thought I was past this. What is this? Because I do love John and I want him to explore. But then the block would come back up and like the fear would come and I'm like, oh my gosh, I thought I was past this shit. Why am I still struggling with this? Well,

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
I think the answer to that is you're human. I don't think that we should expect that. We'll never feel certain ways or emotions, but that we recognize 'em for what they are and we learn how to handle them internally ourselves with contacts and perspective, but also with our partners talking about them openly saying, Hey, I'm feeling jealous again. I don't know why. Sorry, this only happens almost every six months or so. I'm really feeling that way. Share it with them, talk to 'em. And again, I think it might be highly unrealistic to think we won't have feelings of jealousy, fear that creep up at different times. That's to be human. So you're not weird or anything like that. But when those things come up, you have to be able to communicate those talk, handle 'em productively, and just resolve those things. And what that does is not only do you have hotter sex, and if you happen, it get highly emotional, but actually your relationship gets deeper with your partner.

(01:01:30):
You understand each other on a deeper level of love and acceptance and understanding that you probably would never reach before. And that really bonds people together. And that really causes us generally to love each other more. I know that's been the case with us, cuz I never used to understand how could getting into a swinging lifestyle make you closer? You're like, they're making friends with a lot of people, but you're also playing around with other people in a lot of cases. How could that bring us closer? I think the answer to that, cuz it sounds so weird, opposite inside out. I think it's that the lifestyle has put us in a position where we had to get to know each other better. It forced us to get to know each other better and to communicate better. And because of that, we both learned more deeply about each other and who we really are. And turns out I love June way more for who she is now because I know more about her. And that came with some speed bumps getting in there than vice versa probably. But I think that's how that works. And so it's been good for us to be on that level of understanding with

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
Each other. Yeah. And like I said, I don't want it to come off wrong. I'm this person that doesn't want John to have fun or a good time. It was,

Speaker 1 (01:03:01):
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Yeah, no wizard a Boz wish it was not like that at all. It was me wanting to, but me trying to figure out what was holding me back from those, from letting him do that, what was it? And so like I said, for me it was just the fear of being left for another woman who maybe she's better at something than I am, or prettier than me or whatever. Or like I said, or the main one for me that I realized today was just that it was a story in my head that wasn't even true. He didn't want me to play by my, he didn't wanna just go play and have me just sit there on the sidelines. But in my mind, that was kind of what I convinced myself in my mind, even though it wasn't true.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
So the big thing is this, talk things out. Be bluntly clear and honest with each other. Stay calm with it. Understand your partners, another human being just like you. Yeah. If you have desires, kinks, things that turn us on, things we wanna try. We're all different, but we're all the same in so many ways in that regard that we all have these different things and just talk these things out. Get curious. Instead of getting mad, just get curious about, okay, this I don't understand and it makes me a little uncomfortable that you wanna try this. Can you tell me why you want to try that? How does it emotionally make you feel at the thought of being able to try this new thing with somebody else or other people? What does that do for you mentally or emotionally? Or how does that make you feel?

(01:04:41):
Or why is that such a big deal to you? And seriously, just get curious. Yeah, get curious and listen. Because you shooting your partner down, that's not going to kill their kinks and desires and the things that arouse 'em. They're just going to bury 'em deeper and keep 'em away from you. But they're still alive and well inside them. And if they can't express them with you, they'll probably end up expressing them with somebody else. So it's worth it to communicate. So talk things out, share your real thoughts, do it in a kind way as much as possible and don't keep them to yourself. And remember, question every story you're telling yourself in your head that you're basing your emotions and frustrations and anger on. And do those stories have any merit at all? Are they true or are they not true? Yeah. And if they're not, what is the actual story? Things probably aren't as bad as you think. If you can get to the point where you understand what the real story is and get clarity with your partner. Yeah.

New Swingers Podcast

20- How to Enjoy Hotter Sex By Resolving Arguments Quickly!

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