21- John Yells at June & Tells Her Who She's Gonna F*CK! (...and she likes it???) 🤨

John & June have a BLOWOUT argument, so he stops acting like a nice & considerate choirboy and talks to June as the "bad boy" persona he actually is in real life, yells at her, and tells her what she's gonna do and who she's gonna F*CK! (...and she LOVED IT???)... In this episode, you'll hear about how John & June discovered they weren't playing their natural roles together with each other in the swinger lifestyle, how it was hurting their relationship, and how you can avoid having this same blowout argument with your partner. So tune in right now, this episode just might save your relationship!

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I am John. And I'm June. And we are naked as usual. Yes. And we're sitting in our home studio, and we have a good email question today that we're going to share with you. We're going to dive right into this because sometimes one of you or your partner may be on board with swinging or open to the idea of swinging, but maybe the other person is not or is new to them and you're trying to get them involved. And maybe it's just new to them, or they actually don't know what they don't know, and so they may be anxious or apprehensive slow to do that. And with something as powerful and pleasurable as sex, that can be a really hard fence to walk on without falling off one side. We've had our fair share of blowouts. So yeah, this one comes from, let's just call this guy R. Okay. All right. In fact, would you like to read it? Sure. Since I talk so damn much. Anyway, I will drink my coffee.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
He does. He drink? He talks a lot. Jesus almost said he drinks a lot, but that's not accurate. Sometimes maybe

Speaker 1 (01:14):
<laugh> It is.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Yeah. But we do like to drink our vodka, or in this case, because it's December, we like egg.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
I'm not a player. I just talk a lot

Speaker 2 (01:23):
And fuck a lot cuz we just got doing that too. Just,

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yeah, we did. That was hot. Oh my God. June had these black frame glasses on. She looked like a school teacher and she had these white what do you call 'em?

Speaker 2 (01:40):
White. White stockings. White stockings would be with bo on them

Speaker 1 (01:42):
With little white stockings. With little white bo on and these big black heels with these thick square heels. It was so hot. It's all she was wearing <laugh> look except for her belly ring and her two nipple rings.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yes, of course, of

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Course. But by the way, we've had a lot of you right in and a lot of people have wondered what we look like or what June looks like. Well, we don't reveal our faces anywhere.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
However, however you just heard it in the intro. June has an only fans, a free only fans. Now she won't show her face, but, which is beautiful by the way. But,

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, thank you.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
You can see the rest of what this beautiful, sexy, southern voice that talked to you every week. You can see what she looks like. Just go to the link right there at the very top of the show notes. It's the first link there and it says something about June's pierce nipples or something like that. Click here and join your free only fans and you can get a peek at what exactly this beautiful, beautiful woman looks like who talks to you. And so yeah, go do that. By the way, I've gotta say this too, leave it go take 30 seconds also and leave a rating and review. Yeah, I don't like to harp on that. But there are other people out there just like you who are trying to get into the lifestyle and learn about it. They're trying not to hit a bunch of potholes and speed bumps on the way like we did. And you may have. So go real quick. Just take three or four seconds, scroll down, hit that five star review. If you think this is a Fivestar podcast, you can do it while you're listening to us. And if this podcast has helped you at all, just say one or two sentences, three sentences, just something about how it's helped you or what you enjoy about it. So again, that helps us reach more people just like you and just like us.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
So now onto the email.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
<laugh> onto the email.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Now that I'm done being commercial

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Says, Hey, my name is, just wanted to start off by saying your podcast is by far my favorite out there. Wait, I'm sorry. By far my favorite out of all the ones I listen to. Well, thank you. Great. I feel very honored.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
And I don't know if that means he listeners, I don't know if that means he listens to very low standard podcast or very high standard. So I don't know if that means we're good or bad, but either way, he enjoys us and he enjoys it. And we love that. I'm obviously playing with the R <laugh>, but we're glad to hear it

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Says not just because he obvious blow drops from June, which is awesome. Amen.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
See, so the people in the back in the overflow can hear it.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Hey, that's my favorite part too. Just so you know, by the way.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Oh,

Speaker 1 (04:24):
I know. Oh, one of my favorite parts.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
I know, I know.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
We might have to go around too after we

Speaker 2 (04:32):
Record this episode. I know. I just whispered a turn on <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Well, she gets us really sexual look in her eyes. She doesn't even know what the look is. I actually caught her on camera one time and I snapped a picture and I got it and I showed her, I said, that's that fucking look. And she didn't even know she's doing it. She doesn't know how sexy, sorry, go ahead. Again, I'm talking <laugh>. Sorry. I've had a lot of sex and a lot of coffee lately. So I I'm talking a lot. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Not just because the obvious blow drop from June, which is awesome. Anyways, I'm, I'm 34, <laugh> wi wife's 38. I've had my fair share of threesomes and have mentioned to my wife about becoming swingers. I'm completely comfortable with it. My wife on the other hand is kind of in the air. I think she's got other females flirting with her. And I see all the pictures.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
That is so sexy, by the way, to see other ladies flirt with your wife. Holy shit. It it, it's a feeling if you've never seen it, I don't even know if there's anything to compare it to. And then sometimes you're like, I'm just going to sit here and watch <laugh>. And that's called a win.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Says we know this couple fairly well. I'm pretty sure my wife would try it, but has told me to stop talking about it or it will push her away from doing it. Should I leave it alone? And maybe one day it will happen. But anyways, look forward to listening to more of your podcast. I've listened to them all already. Well again, thank you. Makes work go by so fast and very challenging at times when guys at work, don't stop talking on the two-way radios. Yesterday someone called for me on the two-way radio as June was giving you a blowjob Laugh my ass off. Whoops. Oh well

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Dammit. They interrupted us.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Well I know.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
Well at least you have a little feature where you can scroll back and rewind and <affirmative> listen to the wisdom. Yes. Over and over again. So the question here, the question, what do

Speaker 2 (06:42):
You think the question was? So he wants to do the lifestyle, but it doesn't sound like she's completely on board yet, it sounds like to me. Yeah,

Speaker 1 (06:51):
I don't think, I don't know that she's a total definite No, but she's not a yes. So she's in the middle somewhere.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
And then so his question was, well, do I leave it alone? Do I keep, because she's saying, should I leave it alone? And maybe one day it'll happen.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
Well yeah, she told him to stop. She told him to stop asking about it or it'll push her even further away. Push further away. So should he leave it alone and maybe one day it'll happen? Or should he keep pushing it? Well, she told you to not push it may maybe don't, at least for a while.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, I would say at least for maybe a couple weeks or so my thought process, and we started talking about this email before we even started the

Speaker 1 (07:38):
Recording. What I asked June was, Hey June, what would make you say to me if I was trying to get you to do something, if you said to me, stop talking to me about it, you're going to push me further away. Look what, what's going through her head possibly as a woman.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Okay, so what I told John earlier was I said, it sounds to me like that maybe she's open to that idea, but she's not ready yet. So if that was John and he kept on mentioning it, I would get pissed because I'm like, dude, I've told you like 5,000 fucking times. I'm not ready for that yet. So in my mind I'm thinking maybe she's getting really frustrated because she's not ready yet. And maybe she feels like you're pushing her with that. I don't know. And maybe you're not, but maybe she's getting that vibe that you are and maybe she really does want to try it, but she's not ready just yet for that. So when you keep on asking her, maybe that's upsetting her maybe.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah. And let me say this too, in the lifestyle you don't want to be that person, especially if you're a guy. You don't wanna be that guy who pressures people, whether it's someone else or it's your own partner. That's kind of like everyone looks at that person. A lot of people do as the piece of shit. You can tell the lady's not on board, but she's doing it because he's pressuring her. Yeah. That's not fucking cool. That's called she is not consenting to this. That could be considered probably some form of sexual assault or some if in a worse case scenario that she ever flipped upside down on you and said Hughes to, he made me do this and that and I proof. I mean, that could go real bad. That's extreme. But my big point with it was this. If pressuring people if you had to pressure someone like you're not winning anyway. If you put a gun to somebody's head and you scream at them, tell me you love me. Tell me you fucking love me. They're going to say they love you. Cuz they don't wanna get their fucking brains painted all over the wall,

Speaker 2 (09:53):
But

Speaker 1 (09:53):
They don't love you. It's a free will thing. So now here I agree with everything June, Sam, here's my counterpoint. Sex is a very powerful thing and it's a extremely strong human drive. And I understand what he's saying but he needs to just, it's like he's asking, how do I figure out a way to get through to her in a way where you're not pushing her away and you're not coming off as some pushy pressuring person. Because again, in a lifestyle, you don't wanna be that. Yeah. So one thing, go

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Ahead. I was going to say, well you made a really good point of what you said, what you had said that they could probably do first.

Speaker 1 (10:40):
There's a few things. Well, well first of all, like June said, I would give it a week or two resp, I wouldn't bring it up at all. But whenever you do bring it up, I wouldn't bring it up in a funnier pressuring way. I would just be mean, be completely genuine. I can't make you be that, but be completely genuine and just look at her and you're standing in the kitchen or something and look at her and say, Hey, I know you don't want me to bring it up and I'm not going to pressure you, but I need you to know that this is really important to me and it it's a need that I have as part of a need I have. I understand if you don't understand. But what I do need you to understand is that this is part of a human basic instinct need a sexual need that I have to explore and develop. And I've had similar experiences in the past and it's a part, maybe if it's a part of who you are, it's already sort of a part of who I am. And so all I'm asking of you as the woman I love the woman I'm with or married to, whatever you are will you take just, would you at least be willing to take baby steps in that direction with me? Yeah. That are non pressuring. You don't have to do anything but can we walk down this path together? But we we'll take baby steps. And

Speaker 2 (12:14):
I think that's a good way to approach it after it's been a couple weeks.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
And this is important too. We won't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And if for any reason you're uncomfortable somewhere, we'll get up and leave because we're together and we're more important than anything else what

Speaker 2 (12:28):
We have.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
And a good example of that might be maybe there's a swinger club in your area near where you live or within the vicinity. And what we did just say, Hey, I know it's a new experience, kind of anxiety sitting in the parking lot, watching the door going, all right, when are we going to go, man, you're sitting in the car. We've never done this before. What's it on the other side? Well just go there. Just with your first visit, go there just to observe. Yeah. Have your agreement be, we're just going to go in any other nightclub and we're just going to have some drinks, sit on the couch, whatever. And we're just going to observe and watch. We don't even have to talk to anyone. Let's just see what it's like. That way, at least what you're thinking and what I'm thinking, at least it's based on facts and not a fictitious or a fake story that's going through our heads.

(13:28):
That always results to the absolute worst case scenario because that's what our minds do because we're made to survive. And so if we feel anxiety around something, we often imagine the worst case scenario. And then we live that we f and we feel the emotion of that experience even though we're not actually having that experience. But our brain mind doesn't know the difference. That's why you can feel the emotions of something happening. And you might be just sitting in your car and it is not happening because you're, whatever you feed your brain, it responds to, doesn't matter if it's real or not, cuz it's real to the brain.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
We talked about that last week about some of my issues with letting John explore. That was one of the issues.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
And we can talk about that too if you want.

Speaker 2 (14:21):
But I mean the mindset thing. But yeah, I think John's right. I think you should wait a few weeks, maybe two or three weeks before you bring it up again so that she's got time on her own to process things, to really figure out maybe how she truly feels. Do I wanna do this, do I not? And when it's been a couple weeks, then yeah, I would do what John said and just maybe just mention, can we just go to observe at a swinger's club? Hopefully, like I said, hopefully you have one in your area. But that's kind of what I recommend too, just given her time and space. And like I said, maybe she's saying all those things because maybe she really wants to try it and she's scared, but needs time to really, truly feel, feel how she feels knows how she feels and without pressure. And then when it's been a couple weeks, go back and just mention it to her. Hey, I found a swingers club that's not far. Can we just go to just observe? We don't have to do anything. We could just go and observe. And cuz that's what we did the first time. And that was great cuz we just got to just sit there and observe. And we met a couple people, but we didn't do anything and it was great.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Well, there are also blogs, YouTube videos, videos, online podcasts like this one which we recommend this one because it's specifically for new swingers, that's why it's called New Swingers podcast because one of the issues we ran into when we were early in the lifestyle and when we were new to it, and the whole reason we started this was because there, there's a lot of good information out there and a lot of podcasts.

(16:05):
But we'd have to go through hours and hours and hours of content all across this wide ocean of podcasts because we were looking for an answer to one particular issue or another particular issue. And a podcast could be an hour to an hour and a half long and takes 30 minutes, 32 minutes for 'em to finally get to the fucking point. They're just dicking around and not getting to the point they're having fun. But they're really a lot of podcasts in lifestyle out there I've observed. And again, there's nothing wrong with them. They're great people. I'm sure a lot of them are focused on their own personal journey and they're sharing it with you. No, that's not a problem. People love hearing stories, but when you have a specific problem like, Hey, how do I get my wife to just show up with me? She doesn't have to do with, how do I help my spouse overcome the anxiety of going to a swinger's club for the first time?

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Well I'll tell you. Huh? You go listen to episode three of the new Swingers' podcast.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Which is, I forgot the name of the title of it, but I believe it's episode three Simple Steps to or something for your first visit to a swinger club or something. It's about your whole first visit experience. But there's blogs, like I said, there's videos, there's articles about this. Guys, have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone. And it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating. But don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA approved ed medication from Shameless Care.

(18:04):
So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout. What I would try to do, because at some level what she's dealing with is fear. Fear is probably, and in my opinion is almost always the foundation of every fucking issue you're going to face here.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Well it has been. It has been for us. Well, for me anyway.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
Well most things, issues people have are rooted in fear, at least in some part or in whole. And maybe ask her some questions too. I mean just very little simple questions. Not when she's mad, that wouldn't have given her time. But I mean approach her in a really mature way and a generous way and let her know you're not trying to get anywhere. Yeah. There's no goal here except to understand her. I mean, what kind of woman doesn't want her guy come into her and saying, look, this is important to me and I wanna understand you better. I wanna understand how you think. I wanna understand what you're actually afraid of or what makes you anxious. If you can get her to open up to you and say, well it's this or it's that, or then you at least know what issue to start addressing and you can actually find ways to help her not being selfish and hey, I'm helping her as a means to an end.

(19:43):
No, you do it because you love her, but you do it also because you're helping her grow. And it, and then, I mean with June, one of the fears that she had, her father left her mother when she was really, really young. And so her whole life, she's had this fear that I'm going to leave her even though I've never shown any sign of it, I've never suggested it, it's never been a thing. But that was the fear. And so then with that particular case, there's been other issues. But with that particular case I knew I now knew the problem I had to attack because my wife wasn't the enemy. That issue was the enemy, but it was standing in between us, fooling us, trying to make us think the other one's the enemy when the real enemy was out in the fucking bushes screaming shit. And we thought it was the other person saying it. So

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, I'll try. Go ahead. I'll be honest, we actually had another fight after we did the podcast last week. We had another blowout.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Oh yeah. If you didn't look at the previous episode of this one, that was based on a giant blow, probably the biggest blowout we ever had. And we got through it, we understood each other. But then a few nights later, something came up and there was some deep seated resentment in me that was still lingering and it fucking came out. It did. And we had to applaud that night.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
I mean it needed to, but I mean it wasn't fun, but it needed to come out and it needed to be addressed. And we finally got to the bottom of it. Finally,

Speaker 1 (21:20):
We sometimes we'll have the screaming, shouting fights, but they're getting to be less. We have 95% conversation. But when it feels like there's been an injustice or something like that against one of us from the other, when it feels like that, we never been unjust. But when it feels that way, that's where things get real heated. But it's always because we didn't understand what the real enemy in this thing was. Well what was the real root cause It wasn't her. And so you wanna share with 'em what we discovered? Yeah. And basically I'll just say this and I'll let you explain. We discovered the next morning cuz I slept in our bed and I told her to get in the guest room usually.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
No, I actually went the

Speaker 1 (22:14):
Up there. Oh, I'm sorry. It was the last time I sent your ass to the guest room. Usually it's the guy getting kicked out. I'm like, fuck that. Why should the guy get kicked out every time? But I made you so mad. You're right. You did grab your pillow and go. And I'm like, yeah, keep going. And you're like, I'm going. Yeah, but here's the thing, the next morning we went for coffee and we sat down, we were alone. And I had some thoughts cuz when you sleep on things, it really gives you some good insight. The next day, some clarity,

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Which has always been the case for me when we've had a fight. I usually don't sleep very well and I think through things and then the next morning I'm like, okay, I've had time to process and this is what I've learned. This is what I've found that's worked for me or

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Whatever. So oddly, I sleep like a baby and not the crying one. I sleep

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Rock. I did not pisses me off. I'm like, what the fuck? We just had this horrible blowout and you're like over there sound asleep. And I'm the one that's like wide awake, just laying there crying and thinking about things.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Well what I think it is, I go, you know what? Fuck it. I can't change her. Why should I try? And then if I can't and why should I try then why should I worry? And then I don't. And I just don't give it any more merit or conversation or thought in my head that it doesn't deserve. But the next morning we're drinking coffee outside this coffee shop, just the two of us. It's like seven 30 in the morning and I had two or three thoughts. I'm like, all right, here's what, through my observation. See, I said through my observation, here's what I can tell is happening now take this to heart. Notice what I'm about to say. Yeah. I was not trying to convince her of anything. I wasn't trying to be right. I wasn't trying to convince her why I was right. I care about the relationship more instead of being right.

(24:03):
And so my point was, I'm observing what happened last night, more from an outside perspective. Now looking in, here's two or three things that look to be this way. Will you confirm this now with Taylor what it is? Is that true? Is this true? Is it so okay. Well basically what it was, our roles in our relationship were unknowingly being compromised between each other and not on purpose. And it was affecting us. Yeah, basically, I see grew up around guys who were abusive to women really? Abu really fucking abusive in a lot of ways. So I grew up and I'm like, I'm never going to be that motherfucker. I'm going to fucking kill a guy if I see someone doing that to a woman. So I've never wanted to be the asshole, the guy who's commanding and domineering over a woman. But now I'm not a choir boy either.

(25:15):
I'm a pretty strong-headed person, dominating kind of personality. But I also never wanted my wife to feel like she didn't have a voice. So we came up with this thing called the choir boy and the Bad Boy. I basically, I am one of the bad boys, the bad boy persona. If you don't know what that means, guys, ask your lady, what's a bad boy <laugh>? Well, I am that, but I was being almost too nice and I was starting to become the choir boy. And the choir boy didn't get laid. He never got fucked. And he got friend zoned all the time and almost in a sense, by my own wife because there were issues. Now I didn't actually friend zone, but it caused problems because of what June is about to share with you that she realized about her. Cuz through this argument, and I'm not saying this is everybody, I'm not saying Mr. R, I'm not saying go out and talk to your wife like this. You might get punched in the face <laugh> depending on who she is or how it really is in your relationship. But I basically had to stop trying to be the fucking choir boy who's overly nice and giving her too many options and too much freedom to steer the ship because it turns out that is not what she wanted. No, go ahead and explain that please.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
I guess I'm trying to figure to back up and figure out.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
So life I was being overly nice and hey, what do you want to do? Give you a voice. But you particularly are wired a little differently. I am. And I didn't, didn't know it. And I was trying not to be the asshole.

Speaker 2 (26:58):
Well, and I didn't really know it either, honestly. I mean, like I said, we are newbies, so we are fucking figuring this shit out together. Yeah, we're still doing it. I mean we've only been in it four or five months, so we're still new and we're still learning things about each other about ourselves. So just know that we're doing this and we're just sharing what we've learned through this. So for me, he would be like, well you wanna do that. He'd look at me and be like, I'd like to, what do you wanna do?

Speaker 1 (27:29):
We're talking a lifestyle play situation maybe

Speaker 2 (27:31):
At the club. Yeah. If it's a lady and he's looks at me kind of like, yeah, I wanna play with her. What do you wanna do?

Speaker 1 (27:40):
So I was, you

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Were giving me an option.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
An option. I was including you in our decisions, which we're told by women, that's what they want. Not

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Unless in June and

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, well not always the fucking case. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Coffee's good. Anyway. So I found that I don't, when he gives me choices, I don't like when he's like, do you wanna do this or that? I, when he takes charge and he's like, we're going to do this. And so when we had that huge ass fight, he was like, can I share this part?

Speaker 1 (28:26):
This is B-roll. And this was little context, this was about 1230 at night. She had already gone to bed in the guest room upstairs. And I had already had vodka and whiskey. So I was kind of off the fucking deep end <laugh>. Like I'm not holding shit back with how I feel. And I've probably said things more extreme than I normally would've, but because I was drinking, I'm like, fuck it. I'm just going to say what I, I'm going to say what I'm feeling and fuck the outcome. It turned out that actually worked in my our not my hour favor. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, go ahead and tell him. So

Speaker 2 (29:02):
He basically,

Speaker 1 (29:03):
No, and I don't know if I entirely meant all this, but I was just trying to think of the wildest shit. And I'm like, here's how it's going to be. I just started listening off this wild shit. I don't even know if I meant all that because I don't have I, anyway, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Like stop talking, let me, lemme talk. So basically he was like, you're going to fuck that person so that I can fuck that girl. You're going to fuck that person so I can fuck that girl. You're going to fuck that person so I can fuck that person. Did I say that? Oh yeah, he

Speaker 1 (29:34):
Did you have a text message thread that proves that I,

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Okay, it's deleted, I deleted it.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
Oh you did? Yeah. You know, thought it was hot.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
It got, yeah, but it got intense and I didn't want all that on my phone. Oh wait, I didn't wanna scroll down and see some of that stuff. So

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Let me ask you the therapist question. How did that make you feel?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Well actually finally

Speaker 3 (30:00):
<laugh> the

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Fuck. Can you repeat that? How did that make you feel?

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Finally,

Speaker 1 (30:06):
What don't women wanna be respected and including things and they're equal and I'm being very general and misogynistic or where the fuck that word means?

Speaker 2 (30:14):
I just, not me. I

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Hear feminists say it,

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Not me. Yeah. Okay. Not this one.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
How is this one?

Speaker 2 (30:22):
This one likes to be told what to do. And so when he was saying all those things, I was like, well shit, that means I'm really going to have to overcome the fear of doing that kind of thing with somebody. Cuz I've never done, I've never, I'll just say it. I've never fucked a guy besides John. And so I was like really? Like, oh my God, <laugh>. Okay,

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Now here's the thing. There are a lot of guys in the lifestyle who they're kink, they really get off watching their lady fuck some other guy. Yeah. I do not have that kink. Now if June wants to try something new, I'm not against it. Cuz I'm like, you explore you. Yeah. So I don't have a kink for that. A lot of guys do. It's very common actually. But that, that's not where I was coming from.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
No. He was coming from the fact that because of the way that I've been and because I've been so fearful and with a lot of things that I've not done yet, including messing fucking guys and playing with guys. He meant that in a way, look, you are playing with all these girls, but some of the girls wanna, they like the couples, they like to full swap, but you're, every time we meet a couple that doesn't, like, they're not even what I'm trying to say. Basically,

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Jim, it always turned out June got to play with the lady and me and the other dig got to watch and yeah, that's nice, but you can only sit on the sidelines so long before you want to get in the game. And so it basically, her preference basically cut out 90% of my experience or my opportunity to experience and explore myself. Because it's not that, I mean some guys, there are a good number of guys who to see their ladies with other guys, but in large part, most of the people we meet, it's kind of an unwritten thing where, well, you're playing with my lady, can I play with yours? And it's like, well, or if you're not going to share then I'm not. And it, it's not like that, but it is like that. Yeah. And so June wasn't willing to do anything with a guy, which is perfectly fine, would never, and I've told her this, I will never ever pressure you to do that.

(32:34):
But just realize, be by default the way things are. Just the way the lifestyle is. You being how you are and not being willing to expend your horizons or experience. I'm basically the only person, I'd say getting fucked, but I'm not I would say getting fucked over. And so after that happened so many times it was like, mm-hmm what the fuck we even doing? I should just go out and find a lady who wants a bunch of the ones we know who they both wanna play that way at least I'm not getting cut out and then, you know, always get to have fun, but then I always get cut out. And again, it was that frustration coupled with I'm not going to pressure her to do anything with anyone she doesn't want. That ain't going to happen. So I'm just stuck in the fucking corner. I'm the dog outside in the cold.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
But when he texted and said, you're going to do this and you're going to do that, you're going to fuck this person so I can fuck the girl. You're going to fuck this guy so that I can fuck the girl. Because they were interested in that. I feel like honestly it kind of turned me on because he was finally, because in my mind it feels like, okay, he finally cares about me because I want to feel like I belong to John and I wanna feel like I am longed for and that I'm taking care of. And that he's like, well I don't want this to sound weird, but he's my daddy for me, your dad, for me, I had a shit dad. And that's a long story in itself, but <laugh> just leave it at that. And that's probably partly why I enjoy being told what to do because it makes me feel like I belong and that I belong to John and that he cares about me and he loves me. So when he was telling me you're going to do this and do that, I'm like, finally, you fucking care. Because in my mind it was like if he was giving me options, I wasn't feeling like he cared about me, which

Speaker 1 (34:27):
That was backwards in my mind. I know I thought people you love, you don't try to control 'em. You give 'em options, you give 'em freedom to be who they are. You don't try to control someone when you love them. That's my perspective. If you try to control me, you're going to fucking run me off. I'm probably going to get in a fight. You're not going to fucking put a noose on my neck. You're not going to put a chain around my neck and tell me what to do. But the way I receive love and affection is the opposite of how June does. And we had to figure that. And that's been the core root problem of most of these big blowouts. And in a way the other night that was the issue. So I'm drunk, I'm texting you late at night telling you, here's what the fuck you're going to do. Here's what the fuck you're going to do. You're going to do this, you're going to do that. Take

Speaker 2 (35:17):
It or leave it.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
Yeah. You don't have a fucking option. I don't give a shit and it's

Speaker 2 (35:24):
All, and then I was Harding him and then he's like, oh, so you like that, huh? She fucking,

Speaker 1 (35:29):
I ain't can hold dumb the text message like a thumbs up or a heart. She hearted it. I'm like, oh, you fucking being talked that way, you little whore or something like that. Yeah, I was off the goddamn deep end man.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
And

Speaker 1 (35:40):
What did you say? Oh, you being talked to that way. Oh, you liked that?

Speaker 2 (35:43):
I was like, yes.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
Like, well what the fuck are we arguing about then? Here's what we were arguing about again, the bad boy John, who he is, was acting too much like the choir boy who gets friend zoned and not fucked because he was trying to be too nice to his lady. No, not in an abusive way, but she wants me to tell her what the fuck to do and who the fuck to do it with. Yeah, you're going to do it. I fucking own you. You're my property. I control you. You're going to do whatever the hell I tell you to do. There's going to be consequences.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
And because

Speaker 1 (36:22):
It's just soaking wet in your panties.

Speaker 2 (36:24):
And because he loves me and I trust him, yes, I know that he's not going to make me do something, not make, but he's not going to ask me to do something that's going to hurt me. And so that's why, that's the difference guys.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
So really think about this with as much control as you like me to have over you that we discovered in a way you kind of control that in an underlying way. It's like you control it in a sense that I love you and I care about you and you can trust me that I'm not going to do something or put you in a situation that's going to hurt you. And so you kind of grant me that somewhat leeway to be the bad boy, the daddy, the dominating one that you want and need me to be. And you use those two words you told me I need, I said, do you want the choir boy or the bad boy? You can't have both. And if you want the bad boy, the choir boy's fucking gone. Yeah. The bad boy does not have any of the choir boy in him. You can't have the guy with has a motorcycle that and tattoos and shit like I do. And then put a pair of khakis and a polo shirt and new balanced tennis shoes on that don't fucking happen. But you're like, I said, so which one do you want? You said you want the bad boy? Yeah. And I said, okay, what's the percentage Bad boy. The ratio bad boy did choir boy. I said, is it like you 60%? You want the bad boy? 40%, you want the other choir boy? And you said no, you said 99% I want the bad boy. Yeah, yeah. 99% of the time. And suing your lifestyle at home in our everyday life,

Speaker 2 (38:14):
Every day, even at home in our everyday life.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
All across the board. All across the board. And I said, okay, so you're telling me 99% of the time you want me to be in control dominating, telling you what to do. Don't ask you to make me coffee. Hey go make me coffee.

(38:31):
That sounds like an asshole to me. No, but to you love it. And it makes her feel loved. It's the wildest fucking thing guys. <laugh> like every guy listening to this right now is going, what the fuck? I need to try that my lady, now if you do, here's what's going to happen. She's either going to get on her knees and call you daddy or she might just fucking punch you. And so you gotta know who you're talking to and how your lady operates. Well, but it was so backwards and that was the reason it was hard.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
And then I also want to say this too, that we're, this weekend we're going to try for the first time, we're going to try a full swap. And it's not because John had said it either. I wanna make that clear.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
I had this discussion with her and I'm like, no.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
When we talked about that last night and I was like, no it's not. Yeah, there's a little bit of that. Yeah, I wanna do it for you. But 90, well yeah, it's about 80, 90% of it is for me because in a short story, I was abused as a kid and was controlled by fear in my whole life pretty much until last year when I got healed. And so because of that, I, I'm no longer do I wanna be controlled by fear in any area of my life. And I feel like when he texts me those things it kind of was like, you know what? I need to fucking at least try it for me. I need to know how I truly feel and I'm being controlled by fear again. And I don't like that. And I don't want that. So fuck that shit. We're going to try it.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah. June used to be somebody who, when she's afraid of something, she just freeze and run.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
Not anymore.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Now it's like she'll freeze maybe momentarily and then she'll just start throwing fucking haymakers and going batshit crazy. And even the boogieman, it's like, I am getting the fuck out of this closet. <laugh> like, let me out. And Cause I mean she's a fighter not, and so she's taking that mindset into this. Cause obviously if I tell her to do something, I'm not going to ever do something that is absolutely not consensual. Yeah. That is not what, that is Not at all. That is not what you should do in the lifestyle. That's a fuck that's called, that's called rape called sexual assault. That's fucked up.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Yeah. Well, and so I wanted him to know last night, I was like, cuz he asked me and he's like, you're not doing it just for me. Right? Cuz I don't want that. We won't do it if that's, that's all. And I was like, no. I mean is there maybe 40% of it that's for you? Well yeah, because I love you and I want you to be able to enjoy yourself. But 60% at least of that percentage is for me because I, I'm sick of being controlled by fear and I'm noticing that that's a fear I have is doing a full swap or just basically fucking a guy if that's been a fear of mine. And so I'm like, no more am I going to be controlled by the fear.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yeah. And I don't even care what the act is, full swap, whatever My whole thing was, how can your choice and preference not cut me out of the equation and pretty much fucked me over every time. I don't care what you do or don't do. But can we try to work together where we both consensually and lovingly come to an agreement that will explore each other and ourselves and try things so that whenever we find ourselves with the play opportunity with people I don't get the fucking bench. I don't get put outside in the snow while she's inside warm and cozy enjoying herself by default. So I didn't, well again, I get nothing out of seeing her do anything with another guy that, that's a new and weird thing to me where I come from, if you look at a guy's lady too long, like he wants to kick your ass. And it's like, that's where I come from in the lifestyle. It's like, hey, notice you're looking at my lady. You're like, oh god, this guy. Then it's like, do you wanna fuck her? You're like, wait, what? <laugh> like come again, wait. Or

Speaker 2 (42:32):
Well, and that happened Saturday. So we had the huge argument on Friday. Got it resolved Saturday morning just in time. So Saturday night we're able to go to the club.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
My redeemer lives

Speaker 2 (42:43):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Shit. We weren't going to tell this story. Listen to,

Speaker 2 (42:46):
We need to <laugh>. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
So we had this blowout. And at the club we do go to, there is this room with these two or three giant picture windows.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
It's my favorite room. <laugh>

Speaker 1 (43:03):
40 or 50. Yeah. June's an exhibitionist. She loves people watching you get fucked. She loves an audience. So you can fit 40 or 50 people around these windows on the outside of this orange room with this giant round bed. It's probably 10 feet across in diameter. Yeah. Well there was this black couple in there and they were going at making out. She was sucking in, he was eating or this plane and there's a lot of room on the bed. Well we were like, well hey, let's just go grab an open spot.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
And so we went in, I'm sorry to go in there and have get eaten out.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
So I started eating out June and then I saw this beautiful black can with beautiful nails grab June's boob <laugh> as I'm looking up from between your legs. And I'm like, oh, this is hot. And then I saw June's hand reach out and the black and white contrast those colors, even in that low light, I could see it. And I'm like, this is a good day. And so I was doing that with you. You were kissing her, she was licking your boobs, you were touching her boobs, right? Something like that.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
Well you stopped eating me out and then I started sucking on your dick.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. She started sucking my dick. Yeah. I'm standing there on the side of the bed and she's sucking me.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
And then the lady comes over and so she starts sucking on his dick.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
So this lady comes over and she's crawling over across the bed to get to me. And so now I'm, this was the first time I've ever been with a black woman too. Anything with a black woman. And she had the mouth of a fucking goddess. I was like, holy shit. I looked at her, I looked at the dude to his wither, I'm like, you are the luckiest motherfucker in the world. And he's like, we fist bumped. Do you know why she's blowing me? And then I'll tell this part cuz it involves me and I talk a lot. But

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yes he

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Does. So she's doing that and he looks at me and he goes, looks at me in between his fingers, he has a condom and he puts it right in front of me and goes, Hey, she has a fantasy of being with two dudes at once. She's never done it before you win. And I'm like, well, let me pray about it. So he was offering like, Hey, she wants to suck on me and you know, can fuck her. And so that's what happened. It went on for probably 15 minutes maybe I lost track of time.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Shit. I mean, yeah, I think it was probably 15, 20 minutes. And I saw, started sucking on her boobs. She starts kind of fingering me at the same time and I'm sucking on her boobs. And it was probably like 15, 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, I mean I think we started, I was doing doggy style and then they get the guy's like, oh hey, she likes you rough. I'm like, oh okay. And he is like, Hey, spank her. I'm like, all right. So I kept doing that. She's got his dick in her mouth, railing her a fucking freight train and just loving every second of it. And then she rolled over and I went down on her. Then I kind of rolled her over sideways on her side and was doing her from behind and she still had in her mile. And then it kind of trailed off from there and it's like, well let's go get a drink guys, go back and

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Dance. Let's go back on the dance floor.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
And I saw

Speaker 2 (46:33):
Them and that was that. Yeah,

Speaker 1 (46:34):
We walked past them twice in the hallways after that night. And both times I was like, we, me and the other guy were like, Hey man, what's up? We'd fist bump. Be like, we got great ladies. He's like, oh yeah. Because it was like, hey, she wanted to try two guys. And I'm like, well thank you for my service and I, I'll be your hero. I'm so selfless here. Totally

Speaker 2 (46:55):
Bullshitting. And he wanted to fuck me too, but I wasn't ready yet. Cuz I told John, I said, okay. We had come to the agreement though that okay, we're going to try that. But I want it to be with somebody that I really have gotten to know and trust first the least couple times. So GI Joe and Barbie we're coming for you on Saturday

Speaker 1 (47:14):
<laugh> Fuck. And Barbie told me what she likes and let's just say we are in perfect alignment. Is that what you want? Be careful what you ask for Barbie <laugh>, because I'm not the fucking choir boy who's going to be nice about it. Tell me what you tell me the things you told me. Yep, I'll do that. So let's make sure the door is closed so I don't get hauled outta the

Speaker 2 (47:38):
Fucking

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Sex club. Cause I think I'm doing something non-consenting or there's not any sort of murder going on.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
But yeah, I'm looking forward to it. It'll be fun. A little nervous, but it's going to be good.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Yeah, we're friends with these people know

Speaker 2 (47:51):
They're friends,

Speaker 1 (47:52):
We trust these people. We've been around them in several play situations. They're the cool, coolest, chill, laid back, non pressure. These are the kind of people we wanna

Speaker 2 (48:03):
Hang with. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
And it's

Speaker 2 (48:06):
His birthday weekend, so happy birthday

Speaker 1 (48:09):
To happy early birthday.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
Yes. Yep.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Well it's funny because I was like, dude, I'm getting just as good a present for your birthday.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Like yeah, you're getting to try something out. I said, but I get to play with you late. Thank you for having a birthday man. I feel like I owe you something. Well it turns out he likes watching Barbie with other people so it's like, oh well that's also a double win for him and I'm just there to help be the gift.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
And what's funny is part of the gift, what's funny is they both asked the other day, <laugh>, when we talked to them about it, they're like, they both asked, they're like, how are your nipples June? Are they sensitive still? Or care? Is that okay if we kiss on them? They were both asking how my nipples were <laugh>.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
If you don't know, June has an only Fann page. Go to a show. There's a link in the show notes. Again if you wanna see her nipple piercing and all their glory and variety, different locations, places, it's awesome. Go to your only fans, it's free only fans. It's right there in the show notes. Top link and you can see what we're talking about.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
And John's my own personal photographer.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
That's right. Videographer, photographer, marketing manager. Yes.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
All the above.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Well hey, if you're turned on or aroused by the thought of a skinny, beautiful, white woman with 32 double D breasts, silver dollar nipples, big ones. And they're pierced

Speaker 2 (49:43):
And I bought new piercings and they don't fit because my nipples are too big for 'em.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Yeah. So we gotta be more selective. We do. I'm Tony. Go click that fucking only Fann link like man, it's just it again, you wanna see little, just go check down. I'm not trying to sell you nothing here. I don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
Well, well I have to end the podcast cuz I've not done this yet to you yet, John. So I must give your blowjob because that's what I do in every episode.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
I just say, what's that look in your eye? She has a rapist wit.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Oh boy. Oh fuck. Gosh. Girl's got a mouth on her. Yes. I was consenting in case anybody's wondering,

Speaker 4 (50:37):
<laugh> as if you wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
I know I give her the a hundred percent pass all the time. So anyway. Yeah, talking to your partner that's what we were talking about here. The advice for Mr. Ara was take baby steps and express why you care about her and why this is important to you. And you're not pressuring, you just wanna take baby steps and you want to understand what her fear is or the thing hindering her, holding her back so you can start addressing those things with integrity and helping her move beyond those. And when she moves beyond those, the thing is she's going to personally grow and develop as a person. So everybody wins here.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
Maybe just go to the club and just observe, be like, we don't have to do anything. We'll go to the club, we'll have drinks, we'll observe, like I said, and if any point you're uncomfortable, we'll just leave. It's that easy. There's no pressure, no anything. So do that and be open to the fat. Be to the fact that the person you're with, your wife, your spouse, your girlfriend, whatever. You might think you know what she wants and likes but maybe you don't. Yeah. And maybe she doesn't know how to tell you cuz she doesn't realize it either. And it's causing friction. Once I went off the goddamn deep end and I'm like, you know what, fuck everything. I was like Eminem and that last battle rap in the movie Eight Mile. Oh yeah. At the very end. Great

Speaker 4 (52:16):
Movie.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
Like fuck you, fuck everybody. Fuck you if you doubt me. He's like, he's just off the deep and he's like, I got nothing to lose. I'm going hungry with trailer park tonight if I'm lucky.

(52:28):
And so I had that kind of experience. I'm not saying go have that kind of experience. Yeah, hopefully you don't have to. Gosh. Yeah. But when we did, it kind of broke up in the transparency that we were not unknowingly having. And so it was productive. It sucked, but it was productive and realized that arguments are disagreements is a part of life. Speed bumps are in every road. So just realize you're not bad, you're normal if you have issues like that. And so work through 'em because you care. Yeah, absolutely. And if your, again, if your partner has an issue, try to find out what it is so you can help them actually literally help them become better. Because if your lady is anxious and she's fearful and anxious of something, if you help her overcome that in this area of your life, she'll be more equipped and and capable of overcoming in other areas of her life that matter to her also.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Yeah. Well because I know that John cares about me and he wants me to overcome this fear of trying the full swap thing this weekend. So it's, it's just good because he wants to help me. Yeah, it's going to be great for him. But there's a side of it too that's like he, because he loves me and cares about me, he wants me to overcome that.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
But again, I don't even care if the full swap was the thing that did it for you. Yeah. It just happens to seem to be, but I literally get nothing out of that as far as like you doing that. But anyway, if this has been helpful for you, go click that five star rating real quick. Takes three seconds, leave us a review. Yeah. It takes about five more seconds. This helps us reach more people just like you and Stan the earth. Go do that right now. We really appreciate it. Click June's only fan.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
Yes, I was about to say go check my go check it out. Cuz we post some really sexy pictures in our new Jeep yesterday.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Yeah. And it's Christmas time. Yes. We took some sexy, fucking sexy Christmas pictures of you by the Christmas tree and

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Came in today. So I had to try 'em on

Speaker 1 (54:34):
<laugh>. Right. And it is Christmas time at the Mil state. I'm just saying. So go do that, check that out and we'll see you in the next episode.