New Swingers Podcast

25- How to Approach Other Couples to Play With In The Swinger Lifestyle! (and sexy swinger Q&A)

January 26, 2023 John & June
New Swingers Podcast
25- How to Approach Other Couples to Play With In The Swinger Lifestyle! (and sexy swinger Q&A)
Show Notes Transcript

Do you want approach other couples in the swinger lifestyle to play with, but you feel nervous or odd trying to introduce yourselves to new people? Are you afraid of rejection or coming off as a "creeper?" Then fear NO MORE! In this episode, we discuss a VERY simple & effective way we approach couples in the swinger lifestyle that makes everyone not only feel comfortable connecting, but also very often leads to playing with other couples (even if its the very first time we've met!). If the thought of approaching an attractive couple makes you feel nervous and you never want to deal with that fear again, click play right now and go try out our advice next time you go to a swinger lifestyle event!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
And I'm June,

Speaker 1 (00:03):
And we are sitting here once again in our studio Naked. Yes. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (00:10):
<laugh>

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Have vodka today though, because we had some other stuff to take care of, and it's just not in the schedule today. So if you ever wonder if you're ever annoyed by me talking or things we do just know we're usually drunk on vodka when we do this, and hopefully today will be a good experience for you. Today we're going to talk about how to approach other couples to play.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Yes. And I was just going to add that we missed you guys. We were gone, we were on vacation, and then came home and I was sick for about a week, and then John's been out of town, so it's been a couple weeks since, few weeks since we've done one, so I'm happy to be back in the studio with you.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, we've gotten quite a few emails from a lot of you who listen and saying, Hey, I hope everything's okay with you all. Are you still doing the podcast? Because we've never gone this long without doing one, and so we're just glad to hear that you're getting this much value out of it, that if we disappear for a couple weeks, it's like, oh, people actually noticed that we didn't A good number of people noticed that we didn't do a podcast episode. And so thank you to all of you faithful listeners, and it's not really about you being a faithful listener, it's just what I get out of that is I'm just so glad that we are providing so much value to you, given we're pretty new to this whole thing ourselves in sharing our journey with you, that you want to come back and listen to it, and you notice if we don't. Yeah. So

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yeah. So a lot of people, June, have trouble imagining or seeing their partner with somebody else. Totally understandable. I have this idea, and I'm going to ask your opinion because you're a woman here, so you have all kinds of great ideas too. I have this idea that in our culture when it comes to relationships, there's this ownership mentality that's pushed, especially if you're married. It's like, I own you, own me. It's this ownership thing. And I think for a lot, I mean, there are a lot of reasons, but I think that's one reason that a lot of people maybe have trouble as they grow in the lifestyle and getting accustomed to playing with other people. Because if you grew up like we did, yeah, it's like, you know, own each other, and that's exclusive. Now the thing is, I can look at you though and say, Hey, I do care about you and love you at the same time you are another fellow human being.

(02:54):
I mean, if I see a lady playing around with somebody who I don't know, and she's beautiful, that's really pleasurable to watch, and well, just because I care about you and love you, why should that be any different unless I have some sort of ownership problem over you? Because this, we're going to talk about this in a future episode. But yeah, I think it was this past weekend, I saw another guy go down on you as I was going down on his lady, and it didn't really bother me because I see you as someone I obviously love and care about, but I also see you as you're just, you're a fellow human who've wants to explore yourself and have pleasure, and that's without these ties of control that I've apparently been told I have over you because we're married again. Well,

Speaker 2 (03:50):
And that was the first time that I had ever had another guy that's not John, go down on me. That was the first time.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
And so we'll get more into that in another episode, but I didn't plan on saying that, but that just came up and it's kind of relevant. By the way, if you like the podcast, take the next three seconds, go. Give us a rating interview takes three seconds to give a rating. Scroll down, hit those five stars. If you like this podcast tell us what you liked about it, how it was helpful. We're getting quite a few ratings and reviews in there now, and so that's really cool. We'd love to see your feedback and try to make this better for you. It takes three seconds. So literally just right now, scroll down, punch that, leave a comment and tell us how you liked it.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (04:35):
So approaching other couples, that's kind of our thing. I mean, I always thought it was kind of weird if I approached a lady, or even if I approach a lady and be like, Hey, or if I approach a guy who's with a lady and be like, Hey, your lady's hot. It's like, how do you navigate this? Because so many people are like, who are new in the lifestyle, they're like, I feel awkward. How would I approach people? What if they turn me away?

(05:06):
There's some things we do. We did it the past couple of weekends, and one of those things, I promise I'll stop talking, you'll be talking, but I learned, discovered that I will look at June, let's say let's at the club, maybe we're at the bar area or wherever we are at the Swinger Club we go to, and if I see someone who's really looks amazing and looks like fun the lady, I will look at June and say, Hey, what do you think of her? And we have the same taste in women, and I'll say, Hey, I think you should compliment her dress or if pick something you like on her and compliment her. And so we do that, and that's just a great opener. You've never been had somebody just walk away from you <laugh> after complimenting them.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah. And so that's what happened last weekend was we saw a lady and John's like, Hey, you should, her tops really sexy. You should tell her her top. And I was like, sure. Yeah. I mean, I did like it too. So that's kind of how we met. It kind of started was like I complimented her on our top, and then we just started talking and she's like, oh, I do this for a living. And I was like, oh, I do that similar thing too. So it just kind of worked. And then we just kind of chatted for a while. I don't remember what happened after. I mean, we ended up playing with them, but I don't remember how it escalated from there. But I do remember that's kind of how it started. It was just that John said, Hey, comp, you should compliment her. And I was like, yeah, yeah, definitely. So I just was like, Hey, I really like your top. And then that, and she's like, well, I like what you're wearing. And it just kind of went from there.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
And so she was maybe 10 years older than us but I mean very, very, very attractive.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
12,

Speaker 1 (07:16):
12 years, 12 years older than us and we're 38 at this time. But no, the thing is what I've discovered is that I like women of all ages but I also have found that I have a particular attraction to women who are older than me. That's just my thing. So if they're 10 to 20 years older than me there's something about a hot older woman who takes care of herself that can carry on a great conversation, has some life experience, that's just to me. And so this woman, not only was that, but I mean, she's just absolutely fucking gorgeous.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
And her guy was really cool too. We shook hands with him. In fact, I talked to him probably more than her until things got a little more involved. And we went to one of the playrooms and started talking about, well, what are your boundaries? What do, what are you doing? What are you? And they were fairly new in their experience as well.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, I think they were newer than we were, honestly. It seemed like they were a lot newer than we were,

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Which was kind of a weird thing for me to feel, because I still feel like I always feel like we are the new people in any situation.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
Well, yeah, because we've only been in the lifestyle six months or six, seven months. And so for us to meet a couple that is not, that's not as far in the journey as we are, we're like, oh, we're not new as much as we

Speaker 3 (08:47):
<laugh>, we're not the new people anymore. Yeah, we're not the new guys anymore. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah. What was cool about that though, when we got to the playroom there's a curtain that we closed on the big bed. And so it was just the four of us, and we actually talked a lot about boundaries and whatnot, but also some insecurities that a couple that they had came up and we just had the opportunity to really make 'em feel comfortable and share how, Hey, we thought that too, and really get to know these people.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
And so I thought that was really cool because it's like, what if you're listening to this right now and you're new or whatever, you might be thinking, am I the only one who thinks this?

Speaker 2 (09:34):
No, I'm the only one. You're not who.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
And you realize other people have gone in through these same issues before.

(09:42):
And so now we're going to get back to how to approach other couples in here in just a minute. But before that, we want to cover some of these emails that you sent us. These are some short emails, but when you all write to us, we like to respond to you on the air. And so not only can you get an answer that hopefully is helpful but other people can benefit from it also. So here the subject of the email line, June is cut, queen. So if you don't know what a coupled is, that's basically a guy who likes to sit off to the side and watch his lady with another guy. Some people involve humiliation with that, some don't because sometimes that turns people on. Other people not so much. We're not really so much that way.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
No.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
But anyway, this is a cut. Queen would be the opposite of that. So it would be like, let's say a lady who likes to watch her guy with another lady and maybe not be involved, but just watch. So you want to read that email

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Says, I enjoy your podcast, so thank you. My partner, I are contemplating the prospect of bringing another woman into the bedroom. We have never dabbled in swinging, but she has a fantasy and I want to help her make it real. The fantasy includes me fucking another woman while she watches minimal participation. Dude,

Speaker 1 (11:12):
You hit the fucking jackpot, by the way. Oh my God. That's like every, oh, I say every dude, but damn. Oh, me. That would be, yeah, sorry, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
She brings up this fantasy every time we have sex, and it results in very strong orgasms for her, mostly looking for advice. She'll not do anal, let me eat her, et cetera. She has a problem with body fluids and fecal. Maybe this will get her over some of that.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Okay. So the question here, so basically his wife wants to see him fucking another lady that turns around immensely. I think there's one thing to realize is sometimes things in fantasy are hot, and then in reality they're not, and you don't like it. However, there are other times where it sounds hot in fantasy and it's enjoyable like it is for this couple, and then you do it in real life, and it's even better than the fantasy or just as good as the fantasy. So be aware of that.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Mostly looking for advice. I don't really see a question in here, but he said he is looking for advice. I mean, she obviously wants to do it.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Yeah. I mean, I guess the only way to know how, if you like it or not, it is just try it and see how it goes, and then you'll know if you like it or not. I mean, our, our policy too is just like, well, let's just at least try it once or twice, and then if we don't like it, now we know if we do, we continue doing that.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
And I would give your wife, who wants to be the cut queen here, who wants to watch you with another lady. I would give her the right during that play time, if at any point she's uncomfortable and basically says, all right, I thought so this would be hot. I'm getting uncomfortable. Give her the right to call the quits on it. Let her call the shot and go, Hey, the I'm, this is not how I felt. Sorry makes space for that. Yeah, I would do that to preserve your relationship because she's offering this or wanting this, and you're getting huge benefit <laugh> out of it. And what,

Speaker 2 (13:25):
Go ahead. And I would also even say before you even do a full on threesome with somebody, why not just, I don't know, have her see you kiss another woman first and see how she responds to that. I don't know. For me, that would be what I do. Well, let's baby step into that. Let me see you kiss and touch some other woman. That's not me first to see how I feel about that. Because for me, that's what we did. And the first few times it was uncomfortable. And then I've gotten to where now totally okay. And still sometimes I still have to remind myself, Hey, we're in this for the long haul. This is just fun. And that's what I constantly am reminding myself that because I get too much in my head sometimes. So I would just say maybe that might be an option is maybe start out just doing that first with somebody. Find a lady that you're both attracted to or whatever, or that that she's comfort feels comfortable with seeing you kiss. And just see how that goes first.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
And maybe if she's comfortable and has somebody in mind, maybe even let her pick the lady.

(14:40):
I mean, at least I can't speak for the guy who wrote the email, but as a guy, I pretty much don't have any problem kissing almost any lady that kissing, playing with. I mean, women are beautiful. If I get to play, that's a win. So let you know there's not going to be any real resistance or fight on my end, but making sure your wife is comfortable through it all, making sure that she isn't going into that phase where it's hot in fantasy, but in reality she just fucking hated it. And then you're like, yeah, well, I'm not done yet. And then it went on for another 20 minutes, and then you get home and you're fighting on the way home, and then you're hating each other. Give her the keys to it as you baby step into the experience. And again, I know we're new to the lifestyle, and some people might say, if you're new to it, you should not be given advice about it. I agree with that, and I disagree with that because although we're new to the lifestyle, we've been married over 17 years almost. We're going up on the 20 year mark in the next couple years, and we're happily married. And so we've had a lot of discussions about boundaries and communication. I mean, we are happily and fulfilled and we have a great fucking marriage.

(15:47):
And so I say that just to say, yeah, we're new to this, but June, you hit that right on the head, why not just baby step perfect and just take it from there? But again, maybe let her pick the lady. Or if she wants you to pick the lady, maybe she's uncomfortable with that, then pick one and let her approve it. Yeah, that way. That way. Because one thing with you is you like to make sure that you're involved.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
I do not like to be sitting on the sideline. I don't like that. I have to be somehow involved.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
Well, you don't like to feel like you're excluded either. Yes. So if she wants to pick the lady, that definitely includes her. If she's nervous to pick the lady, then maybe you pick the lady, but go and get her approval and say, what do you think of her? And then you can maybe both approach her, or even better, if you're both approaching her, I would take the approach that me and June do I would your wife approach her about it whether you're there or not? Again, you're not going to no till you try and if your wife's that open to it there's plenty of ladies out there who love doing that.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, that would be my best advice would just be to maybe just baby into that and just see how she feels after you kiss her, kiss another lady first

Speaker 1 (17:09):
And it might y just

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Full blown fucking some other woman, and maybe she's in her head thinking that's going to be great. And then she sees it and it really, really upsets her, and she wasn't ready for that. I know that happened with me. I kind of got upset after the first time that John went all the way with someone else, but it was brand new. And now I don't feel that way at all. But it was a process and

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Well, there was an initial shock for you because you'd literally never seen me with anybody, and so mm-hmm. Understandable. The visible shock. But at the same time, during that very first encounter, you could have said at any point, and we were in agreement already, you could say, all right, let's be done. Or Hey, I want to go now. And I was totally on board because we come first,

Speaker 2 (18:05):
But

Speaker 1 (18:05):
Also I put, no pun intended,

Speaker 2 (18:06):
But also I was on the other side of the room instead of being right beside you too. Which for me, that's another thing I want to be right by John, if we're, we've still done a full swap yet, but I know eventually we will, and we're doing that. I want to be still right beside him. Yeah. So

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Now here's another email. So with that last one, talk to your lady and just do those things we just talked about, baby, step it. Yeah, include her. Let her know that she has a certain pull of control and just baby step it. You might find that you like things that, I mean, you might stumble on things that you two find that you probably will, that you didn't even know you were going to stumble across and yeah, because he didn't know any better. And so that's even more beautiful about it.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
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Speaker 2 (19:53):
Okay, so this one says, my wife and I had a slightly open relationship for a few years now, what I mean by slightly is we've had threesomes since we got married and then moved on to her liking it when I slept with women without her and came home and slept with her while talking about my experience with that woman. Recently, she has started to have anxiety when I do, so I've stopped also recently. She has enjoyed the company of a man without me with my consent, and she realized that she liked it, but it is still anxious when I even talk about wanting to be with another woman or having a threesome. So my question is, how do I get her over this anxious feeling so I can once again enjoy my time with another woman?

Speaker 1 (20:44):
That's a very valid and good question.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
So it sounds like they used to do the threesomes and she used to be okay with him sleep, with his consent, sleep, him sleeping with some other women, and then telling him about it, but then all of a sudden it changed to now she is anxious about it, is what it sounds like, and that she's enjoying company of men without him, but is realizing that she's still getting anxious when he's wanting to do that, or even having a threesomes.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
So anxiety, what do we normally end getting back to St. June? Whenever it comes to anxiety or any of these uncomfortable feelings and emotions? We usually say it's rooted in what

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Fear.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Almost all these things we've found in friends we've talked to as well as our personal experience and the lifestyle where we had speed bumps. It was almost always, in fact, I think it at this point in our time in the lifestyle, it's always been rooted in some sort of fear, and the anxiety was the evidence of the thing that the person feared, but it wasn't the thing they feared. It was evidence that thing was there. So well, the first thing I would do, and please chime in any time, Jim, the first thing I would do, I'd sit her down and talk to her, and I would make sure that you give her the right to be honest with you, and that there's no repercussion for feeling how she feels or saying anything at all. Give her the floor and just let her know there is zero consequence no matter what you say, I just want to understand you.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Because she might be embarrassed or uncomfortable telling you the truth about something because how it makes her feel, even if it's something maybe she wants

Speaker 2 (22:51):
And maybe, I don't know. I mean, don't know what changed, but I'm just wondering, something in her change to where now she doesn't like you going out by yourself, so is there a fear that she has of being left for someone else? Cause I know that was a huge one for me was like, well, if he's fucking somebody else, what if he likes her better than me and leaves me for her, that's going to destroy us. It's going to destroy our kids. And so my thing is what I would like John said, sit her down and talk to her and try to get to the root of what's causing it. Is there fear that he's afraid that you're going to leave her from somebody else? I mean, for me, we don't play separate, so we're only speaking on where we're at. We don't,

Speaker 1 (23:47):
We have no experience here in

Speaker 2 (23:48):
This with that. Yeah, we don't.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, so we're speaking from the outside, not from experience,

Speaker 2 (23:52):
But yeah, maybe, I don't know. There's something that's, she did like it and now she doesn't. So I'm just wondering what changed in her, and that's what I would be asking her. What changed in you from us enjoying that together to now You don't want me doing that?

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah. I think that's the best thing from this email. Yeah, I think you nailed it. It's two words. What changed?

Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (24:26):
She used to like it now doesn't a reason something changed. So when you sit her down and talk to her and you give her that space to be very candid with you, without you getting upset or any fear of repercussion, you're looking for that fear. And you're probably going to find it when you ask the question. June just posed what changed.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
All right. So I think that was it for that email. Then one more email, and we're going to get back to a couple more things about how to approach other couples in play. So here, go ahead and read that one for us, if you would.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay. Greetings, John and June, I just started listening to your podcast, and I'm really apprec, I'm really appreciative thus far. I've been married to my bride for 33 years, and we enjoy a very loving and committed union because of the fact and because of the fact and seeing how those in the lifestyles seem totally connected and totally in love. I have grown curious about the lifestyle. While my bride is very sexual, she is also very conservative, and we are religious and active in our church. Given that while I'm anxious to broach the topic with her, I'm very reluctant to do due to fear. Can you tell me how you guys entered into the conversation? Also, can you tell me how you guys have reconciled the lifestyle with your religious background, and have you stepped away from religion because of the lifestyle? Thanks in advance for any advice and direction you can provide, and thank you for your great podcast. Well, thank you. We appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, so great email, great questions. I heard a couple questions in there. So he didn't say that they've talked about the lifestyle before. It didn't look like it.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
No. So

Speaker 1 (26:22):
It looked like the first question he was asking, from what I can tell is you how'd bring up the swing, your lifestyle in conversation, you remember?

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 (26:33):
<laugh>. You want to tell it?

Speaker 2 (26:36):
We were traveling I think la it was actually last summer, and we were traveling and had some drinks and we were on the campfire and the kids in the law were in the cabin sleeping, and we were out in the woods, woods out in the woods doing our campfire. And John had what he calls a bucket list. So it was a list of things that he wants to do

Speaker 1 (27:00):
A sexual bucket list. Before I die, I want to do all these sexual activities.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
And so he's like, here they are. And he just read 'em all to me. We read through 'em. Now,

Speaker 1 (27:14):
Let me preface this. I knew that there was a possibility. She might get upset if I tell her this, but in 17 years of being married, we had never actually talked truthfully about these things. I'd never told her I didn't want her to get upset or offended, and so I didn't. But about my third glass of Johnny Walker, <laugh>, scotch whiskey I had to get to a point. I was just like, what? Fuck it. She's either going to get mad at me or accept me, but even if she's mad at me or she accepted me, at least she'll know this deeper. Pardon me, I I've been hesitant to share with her all this time. At least she'll know. So I had to overcome that because it was kind of a feeling at risk. So

Speaker 2 (28:02):
He would read through 'em all, and then he was like, let's rate them. Are these things that I, and I think I remember him being surprised that I wasn't mad or pissed off at him. I was just like, okay, that's interesting. Well, not only

Speaker 1 (28:17):
That, there was three or four things. She's like, I try three or four of those things. And I'm like, what the fuck? Are you serious? Yeah. I didn't think she'd be down for

Speaker 2 (28:24):
Any of, well, so we went down the list and I was like, we was kind of like, would you want to try that in the future? Would you want to try that pretty soon or not really at all? And we kind of rated each one of them. So there was a few of 'em that I was like, well, yeah, I would be okay with trying that pretty recent. And one of 'em was the swinger going to a swinger's club?

Speaker 1 (28:49):
No, there was a strip club on there, and I meant going to a strip club together because we do everything together. She actually was more uncomfortable with the idea of us going to a strip club than a swinger's club, which to me seemed backwards, but she,

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Not to me. Yeah. Well,

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Yeah. Anyway, she was more open to visiting a swinger's club than a strip club. And now it's kind of like, why would you go to a strip club? You go to the swinger club, we can have all kinds of fun, and we're not blowing a ton of money,

Speaker 2 (29:21):
But

Speaker 1 (29:22):
To get any action.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
But still now, I'm kind of like, well, because I have discovered I'm bisexual. I'm kind of like, well, I wouldn't mind going to a strip club maybe, and just sitting back, I don't think I want a lap dance per se.

Speaker 1 (29:37):
I am buying you a lap dance from a hot lady. Both going to enjoy it,

Speaker 2 (29:42):
But I'm kind of like, huh, I don't think it would be a bad idea to go. I guess for me, with the swinger lifestyle or strip club, for me it was kind of like, Hey, we can baby step into this. And that's kind of why I felt better and more comfortable with going to a swinger club first was because, well, we can baby step into this. We can take it slow. I'm not worried that some person's going to start giving him a lap dance if I'm not really ready to see that yet.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
And here's a thought too, I just thought of, and didn't, this guy didn't say in his email whether this is the case or not, but my question is, is your wife into women? Because if she is, or she's curious by curious, wanting to try something with a woman, you might say maybe, Hey, by the way, as we're talking on sex, we're on the topic of our sex life. I think it would be totally hot to see you kiss another lady and just baby step into that. See her response to that. Yeah, I would love to see you kiss another woman and see how she responds. If she responds well and goes, wow, that really gets me hot. Or I would love to do that. That could be a great baby step in the right direction. And here's at least what I'm finding, I don't know if this is true, but I kind of introduced June to the idea of the lifestyle, but now it's, it seems like whatever she likes to try with other ladies, we just seek and facilitate that.

(31:19):
And as the man, it seems, at least in our case, that things just naturally happen for me too, because I'm there. And so that might be a good segue and just say, Hey, I have this wild fantasy, and it sounds like you might be comfortable enough with her to tell her, but I would love to see you kiss another woman, even do more with another woman. What do you think about that? Does that idea excite you? And go from there? Because if you use that as the entry door, well, you're there now too, and that she's getting to play and she's involved, and maybe she'd be more interested and accepting of you playing with the lady also. And then wherever that evolves into, we're finding that the lifestyle is one big evolutionary process in the sense that you start with an idea, you pursue that, and then it, there's all these other things that can turn into, there's no order to it, but you know, just sort of find your way. And there's lots of ways that people find their way.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah. So it sounds to me like he's a little anxious to bring it up to her is what it says. It says,

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Well, and they said they're very church growing people, so everything in their world is against this. Yes. Everything.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yes. So I think bringing it up, Hey, this is something I wanted to bring up to you. I don't know where you're at with this, but maybe just be honest upfront with her about it and just be like, is this something that is of interest to you? Or John did. He had the list of things that he had on his list, and that was one of 'em.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Yeah. And you might be like, look, think I'm a dirty ro and center, but there are things in me and their, here's what they are, and for some reason I'm really turned on by these and I would love to know you more and have me more. And what do you think about this?

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I think just being honest and upfront with her John is the key, is just telling her that you were curious about that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Unless she's secure with you either way. Well, we're okay either way. I'm not going to go out and fool around on you if you say no.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
Yeah. Well, and for us, I had already a year before that opened up that I had been masturbating secretly in our closet for about a year over girl porn, girl on girl porn. And so when I opened up about that, about a year and a half ago, I guess at this point, he already knew I had a thing for girls. And when I opened up and told him about that, he said, I said, I got to tell you something, and I don't want any judgment or any. And he was like, I will not get mad at whatever you tell me. And that's kind of,

Speaker 1 (34:02):
I had to mean it.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, he had to mean it. I

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Don't, so

Speaker 2 (34:07):
When I told him that I didn't, and because I grew up in the church my entire life as well, I didn't want to go to hell because I'm bisexual. I didn't want all these thoughts go through your head, what the hell's wrong with me? If I'm liking kissing and making out and basically fucking girls, what does that mean about me? Or why? Or for me, I was just watching girl porn is kind of how it started for me. And I was like, what's wrong with me? And how do I tell John that? I like that stuff? But he was very safe. He was a very safe person to talk to about things. And I knew that I could talk to him with no judgment. And so I told him that I had been watching porn, and then that night I showed him a few different scenes that I've watched and we fucked real hard. Really? Probably the best sex leading. Well, now we've had great sex since then, but probably that was probably the best sex.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
I'll tell you. June is in June is into some really great hot fucking porn <laugh>. When I saw that, I'm like, shit, she's, she's better at finding the great stuff than I am. Like, my God, I'll let you be the curator next time we want to hang out in bed all day.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
So for me, I say all that to say that that's kind of how it started for us too. Because I opened up and was honest with him about, I had already started getting bisexual, and then in the lifestyle, it confirmed it.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
So yeah. Now here's that next question that goes into that. He says, also, can you tell me how you guys have reconciled the lifestyle with your religious background? And have you stepped away from religion because of it? So however you reconciled it with it? Well, there with the Christian religion in particular, there are a lot of inconsistencies. People will tell you in the church, there are none. Yes. They're fucking are. I went to Bible college, I know all of them, and I know how to defend all of them because I was taught how to defend and debates this stuff. But they stop at a certain point and don't go any deeper. And that's kind of where we're at, we're at now. And one of those things is David had multiple wives. King David, the man after God's owns God's own heart. He had multiple wives, he had hundreds of prostitutes.

(36:20):
So did his son Solomon, the greatest wealthiest king to ever live that he's claimed to be. It's like I'm pretty sure there were swingers in the Bible. And his name, the biggest example was a man after God's own heart, king David. Now people in religion, they would say, well, that was wrong. It was adultery. It wasn't good for him, Mike. Now it might not be maybe don't go have sex with hundreds of people. I agree. Maybe that's not the best course of action but how do you know it was bad for him? Did you live back then? Yeah. How do you know that guy's life was so bad. He was the king. He had as many women as he wanted, got to enjoy. Hell, maybe his wife was into it, June's into it with me. Maybe they had the greatest times. I don't know. But religion will definitely tell you not to do it. And I think mean we could do a whole episode, we could do 10 episodes

Speaker 2 (37:19):
On just this

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Topic, on just this. And so we're not going to pretend to get into it. I'm going to try to keep it on the surface here. So we've realized with our religion, it says a lot of things, but it likes to ignore the other things that are also glaringly obvious about that thing. And it seems excuses that, I call them excuses, reasons made up that people are handed on a silver platter to use in a debate or an argument over something. And what I personally found is that those answers usually don't resolve the issue. Yeah. It's like, oh, well, and then the worst is when someone goes yeah, well, we'll never know certain things until we get to heaven. No, that's just a really religious way of saying, I don't fucking know, but I'm too proud and egotistical to tell you. I don't know the answer. Yeah. Oh, they'll never know it on this side of heaven. But one day it's like, just so you don't know, at least then I respect you and trust you as a person.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Yeah. We still believe in God, but we haven't went to church in over a year. Well, and it's not that, and it has nothing to do with the lifestyle. We had already made that choice before we even joined the lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Well, we have nothing against God. No. It, it's the religious baggage around God that is just, I call it choking on holy water, just so fucking oppressive.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
And I'm just choking on it way worse than John was. I'll just leave and say that. Yeah. Saying purity culture and all that bullshit. So yeah, like I said, he said we could really do several episodes on that alone.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
So to answer the question, because we're about to get back here in just a minute, to approaching other couples to play and then call it a day here. So can you tell us how you've reconciled the lifestyle with the religious background? The reconciliation is more, I mean, the Bible has examples of people doing this in it, and they're apparently godly people. Why do you make of that? And at the end of the day, it's like, well, if this is so bad, why did God make us this way? Why did he give us these desires? Yeah. Why do you make us this way if it's wrong? Yeah. I mean, if I'm Henry Ford and I create Ford Motor Company and I make a car that's meant to fuck up at 10 or 20 or 50 or a hundred thousand miles, it ain't the car's fault. No. It was designed to start breaking down at a certain point and doing things because that's how it's made.

(39:52):
It's not the car's fault. It's how the fucking thing was designed. So yes, do you blame the car because the car manufacturer made it faulty and you have to recall it, or something goes wrong with it or sinful with it. I find that hard to reconcile because I didn't make me and June didn't make June and you didn't make you. Yep. So again, there's so much to that. There is, but then they said, have you stepped away from religion because of the lifestyle? June said, it's not because of the lifestyle, but I think being in the lifestyle pushed me further away from church. Nobody's perfect anywhere, even in the lifestyle, but I've, we've never met more loving, kind, accepting people. It's not even this sex. And that sounds fucking wild, especially from a high sex drive guy like me. It's not just the sexual nature of the lifestyle. There's so many people who are just nice and accepting. I've never felt like I could just be who I am, and you can be who you are in any fucking crowd. No. And it's like, where have these people been our whole

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Lives? Yeah, absolutely. That's exactly what we say all the fucking time. This are our people. This is our environment that we love to be in. Not the church environment where you're feeling judged and everything you do is wrong and you're going to hell for. So yeah, I would just say talk to her about it and to just be honest with her. And

Speaker 1 (41:20):
We're not encouraging you to go find reasons to go against what you believe and justify it. No. That if you don't have resolution and you're not on the same page with whatever it is you come to, that could create problems for you too. Yeah. You're not trying to make excuses. We've never tried to make excuses. We just look at it for what it is and go, does it make sense or doesn't not make sense? So when it comes to approaching other couples to play, we learned this first piece we were playing with got a beautiful, probably mid 50 year old woman

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Couple weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Couple weeks ago. Her husband liked to watch. So that was fucking awesome because I was the guy in that last email. Yeah. But tell us a little bit about this. We were sitting the club we go to as a porn theater.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
Well, yeah. But we first met them at the bar. Oh, you're right. We met them. They met this couple at the bar, and so they sat, we were sitting at the bar, and they came and sat right next to us, and I immediately noticed how beautiful she was, and so did John. And I was like,

Speaker 1 (42:27):
Talk to her. Hey, say

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Hi to her. Yeah. Say hi to

Speaker 1 (42:29):
She's shut up. I will.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
And then he's like, here, switch me places in the chairs. So that way me and the lady could sit right next to each other.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
The lady sat down next to me and I'm like, well, I know if anything's going to go anywhere, it'll be less awkward for her guy and probably for her if I get the girls talking first.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
So she had really sexy, I love those boots that go over the knees and I have a pair, but I would love to get a few more pairs. Hint, hint. But she had a really, really sexy dress and the boots that came over the knees, and I was just like, oh my gosh, I love those boots. I have a pair. And we just started talking and we just chatted for a little while. Even the husband pulled his chair a little closer to all of us, and so did John. And we just sat there getting to know each other

Speaker 1 (43:17):
First in a

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Circle, circle setting out there. And then we went on the dance floor and played, and they went somewhere else and played. And then we went into have, at our club we go to has a movie room. And so we went to the movie room

Speaker 1 (43:32):
And it's a little porn theater inside the club.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
And so we were in there fooling around with each other, and they were sitting at a couch right next to us on a different couch,

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Three or four feet away.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
And I think we had talked to each other. And I had said, oh, yeah, she's really beautiful, and

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Look who just walked in.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
And he's like, do you want to kiss her? And I was like, yeah, but I didn't want to ask her because I'm not a dominant person. So for me, it's like, oh, not, and maybe I'll warm up to that. I don't know. But where I'm at still at this point is that I don't really want to go up to a woman and be like, Hey, you want to kiss or make out <laugh>? Like,

Speaker 1 (44:19):
Yeah. So I offer, I said, June, would you like me to go over and ask her if she would like to kiss you and say, my wife thinks you're beautiful. She would really love to kiss you. Would that be of interest to you? And her eyes lit up, and she's like, hell yeah. And she gets right up and I'm like, I'm getting out of the way. And she came right over to you. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (44:42):
She did. She did. And we started making out and kissing. And then

Speaker 1 (44:50):
So before we get into the details, the point here was that you didn't necessarily want to initiate the kissing, but once we got started, once I initiate and we got started, then you didn't mind mentioning other things that could go on that involved me. Yes.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Because

Speaker 1 (45:08):
I don't want to go up to a guy, a lady, and look at his lady and go, Hey, that's just kind of

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Creeper. Yeah, well, hey, you want to

Speaker 1 (45:14):
Hook? That's kind of creeper to me. But if I go to her first and offer June, because June wants to play with her, that gets them playing once. What I've learned is that once a lady start playing, anything's possible, whatever everyone's into just sort of organically, naturally happens.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
And so we start kissing, and then

Speaker 1 (45:36):
You're blowing me.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
I'm blowing you. And then she's blowing me at the same time, and she's kissing you. And then we take turns blowing, John take turns kissing John.

Speaker 1 (45:49):
And then she, she said, I want to watch you. Fuck your husband. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
She said, I want to fuck you. I want to watch. Fuck your husband. So I got on top of John and we're fucking, and I fucking came because her gorgeous boobs were against my back.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
She got behind June and wrapped her arms around her, so her warm breasts were

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Against me, against her, and fuck. So I came, that was really hot. And I came, I don't even think John knew that I did, but I totally did. And then afterwards, I had no problem at that point because we had already warmed up and all that. I had no problem looking over at her, and I was like, Hey, do you want to fuck my husband? So she was like, yeah. So she got on top of John and was fucking John.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
Well, hold on. You missed a point. Something I never thought I would see my wife do and enjoy it. We got the condom out. Oh. And she helped me put the condom on. I love that. And she liked

Speaker 2 (46:49):
It. I don't know why, but I do.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
She loves putting the condom on so I can fuck another hot lady that is so

Speaker 2 (46:57):
Wife do. I love

Speaker 1 (46:58):
It. So fucking awesome. I could not ask for a better wife.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
I totally realized that time two weeks ago. I was like, man, I literally like

Speaker 1 (47:07):
That. And I noticed, I'm like, she really likes this. Like, fuck yeah, soya. So then the lady asked, she climbs on top of me, we're making out riding me, and I'm the couch.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
I'm touching her boobs, kissing her boobs. She's kissing my boobs, touching me at the same time as she's fucking John. Then her husband comes in front of her and she's like grabbing onto him, wait, right, wait, because she flips around.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Wait, but she stands up, gets off me, turns around and sits down. She's sitting down on the couch where I'm on the couch. Well, she sits down on my cock. And so I'm bouncing up and down, facing forward the same way I'm facing, and she's grabbing her husband's hips and he has her face in his hands, and I think he's talking dirty to her. So I couldn't hear probably, but it looked like they were and then she just started screaming orgasm. And I was just like, oh my God. Yep. Yeah. And the theater's full. At this point, there's probably 30 people, and this place is maybe 20 feet by 20 feet. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
It's not very

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Big. Not a big room. There's probably 30 or 40 people in there. And I just happen to open my eyes and glance over and everybody's watching us, and I'm just like, holy shit. And she's just going away. Yeah. So then there's that. It was hot and hot older women. Fuck. Oh my God, that was so good.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
And I had no issue. For me, it was, I was finally six months into this lifestyle. I can finally say I didn't have any anxiety after the fact or any like, oh my God, we just do. I had none of that that I had to overcome for the first time. That was the first time that, yeah, I didn't have any, I don't know. There's no issue. There was no issue. And I'm just so happy that that's the case finally, so that John can enjoy himself. We can enjoy it together. We started out trying to do, and then like I said, would get in my head so much, and I like him to be my daddy and dominate me. So that was what really has helped us a lot.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
And even with sometimes I won't ask Jim to compliment another lady. I'll say, turn around to your left, to your seven. A lady in a white shirt. She's blonde. I want you to compliment her shirt. Tell her she's beautiful. Tell her you love her shirt. Go. And then that's what led to last weekend, which we'll talk about in the next episode. And wow, mind blowing. So what are you doing? Oh, of course. Okay. The obligatory new swingers podcast on Air Blow job. That's all. That was all June's idea. By the way, I didn't have her do this. So back to the point, June didn't want to initiate with this lady and kissing, but once we got started, then she didn't mind initiating for me on my behalf with the lady.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
So,

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Hey, you want to make it off my wife? She's like, hell yeah. And so she did. And then my wife was like, Hey lady, do you want to fuck my husband? And she's like, hell yeah. And I'm like, hell yeah. And June's like, hell yeah. And her husband wants to watch. And he's like, hell yeah. And then everyone watching was like, hell yeah. There's a giant movie screen in front of us with porn on it, and nobody's watching the fucking movie watching us like, shit, we should have gotten paid. Right? I mean, I'll do it for free, obviously.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Yeah, obviously.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
But

Speaker 2 (50:51):
Yeah. And you learned

Speaker 1 (50:53):
You like to get warmed up,

Speaker 2 (50:54):
The lady? I like to warm up before doing anything. Yeah. Because last week, yeah, for me, I found that if I'm getting warmed up with a girl and all that, then I'm more likely to play with a guy. And so I had told John that if we warm up first with a girl, then I feel like if we do a swap, a full swap, then I'm more wanting to do that.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
So yeah, that's how one way we've learned to approach other couples to play. We hope that's been helpful for you. Remember, if you want to Ashley connect with June, she has an only fans, and it's the first link in the description for the podcast. It says June's only fans or something like that. And if you want to see what June Ashley looks like you'll see her this hot Southern Texas beautiful woman who you just heard talk. And be sure, again, give us a writing review. It takes three seconds right now. Please, if you want to scroll down, click the stars and it takes another five or six seconds to just say, Hey, I really appreciated this about your podcast, or, I really liked this point, or this really helped us in this way. That feedback not only helps us us know that we're hitting the mark for you as we share our journey, but it also helps other people to know that they're not alone and that they can learn from it too. So go do that rating and review right now. Check out June's only fans in that first link in the description, and we will see you in the next episode.