28- Our First Hot & Steamy FULL SWAP Experience In The Swinger Lifestyle!

Lots of people who are new to the swinger lifestyle feel anxious at the thought of doing a "full swap" (sharing partners for intercourse). Today, we give you the hot & steamy details of our first "full swap" experience in the swinger lifestyle. How it happened, what led to it, what we learned through it, thoughts and emotions before and after doing our first full swap, would we do it again, etc...
If you're entertaining the thought of trying your first full swap soon or in the distant future, we think you'll definitely benefit from hearing our story and how we personally navigated the experience and are still happily together afterwards.

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John,

Speaker 2 (00:03):
And I'm June.

Speaker 1 (00:04):
And today we're going to be talking about our first full swap experience.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Yes,

Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is something that a lot of people are afraid of, and just to be clear, the time we've been in the lifestyle, we've never perceived it as a checklist of a hierarchy of things to try and do, to do everything. Do everything. So we can say we did everything or try it at the same time. We've never been against trying almost any and everything if it feels right for both of us or if the time comes. And so we kind of got the feeling like, well, we don't necessarily want to go try everything, but if it comes up or it's of interest and we talk about it and we decide to try, then great. And if there are certain things that don't ever come up or we don't ever want to, then great. We don't care. And I think this was one of those things where we didn't know for most of our lifestyle journey, we didn't quite know how we felt about doing that. And I think we had maybe thoughts that we weren't totally telling each other, or maybe they hadn't developed until a certain time in the lifestyle where we felt it, okay, I actually do kind of like this, or I am kind of turned on by this. And at the same time it's, I feel like I can tell you this, or maybe you feel like you can share this with me without feeling bad about yourself, or what will he think? Would you agree with anything I just said there?

Speaker 2 (01:48):
I think to an extent, yes, but I do remember after you gave me your bucket list of things you wanted to try that's a

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Sexual bucket list, and that's kind of what kicked us off into, that's how we discovered a club and got into all this. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
But I remember after you gave me yours, I remember, I think we had just maybe got into the lifestyle and we had met a friend and she had encouraged me to make my own list. And so I did already have, I think swap was on there, I think, but it was, or you and some other guy. So I think I had some of those things on there, but they were way down. I don't know when, but sometime in the way, in the future years, in my opinion, in my, my mind, I was like, oh, Mike, maybe a year from now about six months.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Yeah, it was way down in that category where it, mm-hmm. Maybe someday, but probably never. And it didn't matter to me. That was just our way of classifying what piques your interest now and what might pique your interest down the road that you're not ready for yet. So that was kind of a back shelf thing there. Definitely. And so yeah, we're going to share our experience that way because I know a lot we find that a lot of people we meet in the lifestyle are actually kind of new like us, or either they've been in the lifestyle longer than us, but still consider themselves new or they're brand new and just trying to figure things out, or they're just trying to explore and see what it is. And so this was a pretty big thing for us, and we discovered I'd say a lot about ourselves, and I think it debunked a lot of things that we were, I would say psychologically conditioned to think mm-hmm.

(03:52):
Imagined bad things, imagined worst case scenarios or if you do something like this than this outcome. And we learned some things. And also in a sense, we'll get into the details. It wasn't everything that I feel that we were trained to believe something like this would result in, but instead was actually quite nice. But yeah, we're going to get in those details. But real quick, if you haven't given us a rating in a review, take three seconds right now. Click those stars. If you're on Apple podcast they have stars. Just scroll right down right now, give us a review. We really appreciate that. It helps us reach more people like you and share and just help everyone in general and lead that writing with the stars. Leave a quick review again, clicking those stars. It takes about three seconds and maybe another 10 seconds to leave a review about something that's helped you from this podcast or something you enjoy about it.

(04:53):
And that helps other people know that, hey, this is a legit podcast. These people are being real. They're sharing their own journey on top of what they, they've known about having a great marriage and good communication for almost 20 years. It helps you, helps us, helps more people just like you and us. So go leave that rating and review right now. We'd appreciate it. Yeah, definitely. And now that I've said that, by the way as you probably know, June actually has and only phones, and she is fucking sexy. And a lot of you have written in before and said, Hey, what do you have pictures? But what do you all look like? Well, June has an only fans and she has 32 double D boobs and she has big silver dollar nipples that she got pierced for me on her birth for my birthday. So if you want to see those, she loves showing on off because as a former preschool teacher, church preschool teacher, she discovered in the lifestyle, she's an exhibitionist.

(05:53):
She loves being watched and looked at. Yeah. So if you want to see what this beautiful hot looks like, <laugh> it's all on there. So go check it out. So anyway, before we get to the details of this episode, we like to read a couple emails. You yes, you all write us with questions or even suggestions, and we'd love to share that because it helps everybody. Definitely. So right before we get to the main thing today, we would like to share with you a couple of emails, a couple quick ones that will answer some questions maybe you've had or thought about or maybe that you might run into eventually that could help you. So June, would you like to take it away? Sure.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Email number one,

Speaker 2 (06:39):
First one. Hi. I really enjoy listening to your show and look forward to hearing new podcasts that you put out. My question to you guys is my wife and I are into playing with other couples, but we enjoy watching being voyers. I feel a little bit creepy though that that's what we want to do. Is that really an acceptable thing in the lifestyle, even if we don't want to play with other couples? Thank you. And keep up the great work. Well, thank you so much. And yeah

Speaker 1 (07:11):
That's a legit question. And this kind of tells me a little bit about this person. They, they're asking, is it okay if I really like this? This person's kind of saying, I don't want to do something that makes someone uncomfortable, even if it turns me up. So this person has a conscience. I like that.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
So the question here basically is my wife and I like watching other couples play. Not so much play with 'em, but watching them play together. So that's called voyeurism watching, feeling creepy about it. Is it Okay consent is always the biggest thing. Number one, if you are going to watch somebody and maybe you're in a smaller setting or something, they go, Hey, is it okay if we watch you? We think you're both really hot and we love watching people. Maybe just ask my opinion. The second thing is fuck yes, it's okay. And absolutely, and here's why I say that. Some people, the biggest hottest turn on to them is other people watching them. Fuck June, you're an exhibitionist. You love being watched. And at the same time in the lifestyle, there are people like the person who wrote this in this email they love watching. So that's a good combination, that there's good alignment there.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Well, and we also have friends of ours that we've met in a lifestyle. And a couple weeks ago we played, me and John played with this older lady who was super hot and

Speaker 1 (08:47):
The super hottest lady in her mid to late fifties I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
And our friends just sat there on another couch and just watched us because they are the same way as this person is who wrote this, the email, they're the same way. They just watching. They think it's hot.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah. This is a married couple well, I don't know if they're married, but I don't. They're married, but they're, they're a man and woman. Couple

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Been together for

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Several years and we actually parallel played with this couple a couple months back, the gal Airbnb, and I was having sex with June on the bed, and those two were having sex. June and her were making out. It was fucking hot. That was

Speaker 2 (09:31):
The night that I had way too much vodka and can't remember if most of that night.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, you can't remember some of the hottest stuff. So this was that same couple. So dead fun playing alongside us. And the girls had fun at the same time. But then, yeah, like you said a couple weeks ago, yeah, they came up and just said, because I said, man, you all should have gotten involved if you wanted to, we would love to have you as a part of what we do. And they were like, well, thank you. But honestly, we both just really loved watching you two with her.

(10:01):
And so yeah, to saying that, to say, this is not uncommon. It's not creepy, this creepy. It's not weird. It's not. It's only creepy if people don't know they're being watched and then you find out that they're being watched. But if you're at a swinger club or a swinger party, you always want, always err on the side of consent. But if you're walking past a couple who's screwing and they're in out in the open, and other people are saying like, okay, that's pretty much a given, I would say, I think you're safe there. But if they're in a private setting, and I don't know where it could be awkward, the only thing you have to do is ask. People are afraid to ask for things, but all you're going to get is like a no. But thank you for asking. Or we like being watched and then everyone gets hot and wins and who knows where that goes. Maybe you become friends with those people and who knows.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, exactly. So yeah, you're not creepy. That's totally normal in the lifestyle. There's so many people that are that way.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Even not in the lifestyle I poor. Yeah, I mean, look at porn consumption on the internet. It's like this. It's the biggest craziest ind demand thing. Porn, internet porn is watching people have sex or do sexual things. So we not say we all like it, but generally speaking, most people watching people have sex to some extent, including us. We like watching, but we also diving in and getting a part of the action. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (11:33):
I

Speaker 1 (11:33):
Like, I do,

Speaker 2 (11:35):
For me, I like porn if to warm up to porn sometimes, but we've watched live in person and for me, it doesn't do anything for me personally. I'm like, okay, cool. I'm bored. What can we do? It doesn't do anything for me personally, but I know it does for John. So there's been times we've sat and watched for John, because I know he enjoys that, but for me, it doesn't really do anything for me to watch other people having sex, but I love to be watched.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, exactly. So exactly. That just kind of comes down to individual differences. Circumstance, guys. Have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone. And it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating, but don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA-approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w Checkout. Go ahead. Here's email number two.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
Okay. My wife and I are relatively new, but it seems like a lot of couples are new as well. Wonder what it takes for long, long longevity. Longevity. I've shared some of your insights with my wife and we have some good spinoff conversations. I took your advice on the meds and the initial trial was a success.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Okay. What he's referring to before you continue, if you go to the show notes, you can try we have a link, we can try F D A approved ed medication because a lot of guys in the lifestyle, they get stage fright, performance anxiety, or just mentally they're so distracted that they have a hard time getting and staying hard. Yeah. Well if you go to that link in the show notes, just click that. If you click that particular link, you're going to, you get this massive discount on a trial of ed medication and you just use, I think the code at checkout in the checkout is just the word new. If you just click on that link, it's like the third or fourth link down in our show notes right now this guy is saying he clicked that link, he got those, got the deal, and now he's talking about, but those are the meds he's talking about. Yeah. You don't have to be old, you don't have to have ED to take ed medication. All it simply does is when you get hard, it helps your dick stays hard longer.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah. So

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Anyway, go ahead now.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
So he was saying the initial trial was a suc was success. My wife loved the effects. So good. I'm glad that worked for him. That's good. We have. What have you found to be your favorite play partners? One and done repeat monthly, quarterly, or just good friends that you meet up whenever it makes sense. We were meeting up with every other week for four months and we're now on a little break probably for the best thing best for things to build up, some new energy. If you make it to Seattle or Portland, let us know. It'd be fun to show you around.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, thank

Speaker 2 (15:22):
You. Well, thank you. Yeah,

Speaker 1 (15:24):
So the question here was what?

Speaker 2 (15:29):
What is my favorite? What have we found our favorite play partners are?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
Okay, so is it playing with someone once and being done, never seen 'em again maybe or repeating with the same people monthly, quarterly, or just having good friends that we meet up with whenever it works out. I think we've done all that

Speaker 2 (15:50):
We have I know, I guess I don't really have too much of a preference. I like the spawn spontaneity of when we're at the club and it's maybe it's a couple new couple that we just met that night and we hit it off really well and we went to a back room and played because that's happened. Or there's people we've met in the lifestyle that, like John said a few minutes ago that we met him, we met up with him several times over dinner and drinks, and then we planned an Airbnb day and spent several hours together hanging out and playing together. And then friends that we made in the club that we're going to talk about here pretty soon that we full swapped with and that we've become friends with. So for me, I don't really have a preference for me. I don't really have a

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Preference, does

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Have a favorite, I don't

Speaker 1 (16:49):
Think. Now, even though we've pretty much done all those scenarios is there one that seems most preferable or ideal to you if that you like it most?

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well, I think for me, I guess if I'm going to full swap, this is just how I am right now. This will probably change once I've done it probably a few more times. But for me, I was very bent on the first time I full swap. I wanted to be with people that we've gotten to know. I didn't want to just do a full swap with somebody I didn't really know. And so I'm really happy that that was how it happened for me for the first time. And probably for the first couple I would prefer that. But I don't know. I guess for me I liked that made me feel better because I'm not worried that they're going to push my boundaries or anything like that. I don't know. They kind of know us. We've gotten to know them. I kind of got a good, really great vibe for both of them. So I guess for me that would be my preference. If I'm going to do a full swap with somebody, I'd prefer it to be somebody that I've gotten to know a little bit versus just somebody I met for that that first night.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
And for me, again, we've done all these one and done other people multiple times there. There's really no frequency of schedule that we've established. No I think that will get boring if we did. But I get what the person's asking here. I think for me, I love having friends over to the house when we had special K, our unicorn come over from, I think it was the last episode we talked about. She was amazing. And I look forward to having her over again and even other friends over to our house in a smaller setting, I dunno, middle of the day or sometime when the kids aren't going to be coming home <laugh> from a friend's house randomly. Or

Speaker 2 (19:05):
If it's a weekend night and we can go to our friend's house. And we talked about doing that before too.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
So I prefer the smaller settings and I don't mind the public ones for some reason I just enjoy it more. But whoever we find to be our favorite play partners, one and done, that's fun because spontaneity is fun. Repeating at any different frequency of schedule that's fun too. But even the full swap we're about to talk about here that was actually not planned. Even though it happened recently, it wasn't officially planned. We're going to do this. We actually did that planned it previously before this time with that same couple. But there were a few other things about the event we were at that got in the way and the planning of it. I mean, June was a nervous wreck for a week. Oh my God. Leading up to it. And then it didn't happen just because other things happened, it got in the way. But this time

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I didn't get a chance to be nervous, which was awesome.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah. So I hope that helps and I'll do it. Let's just dive in to the full swap since we're on that topic. Yeah, we'll say that other email for the next episode. So we were at the club, this is the full swap story. We were open to it, but we didn't know if it was going to happen. We were at the club, the swingers club that we go to, and we had gone into the big, what a lot of people call the orgy room. It's a big room with a giant round bed. It's probably eight feet across or bigger, and there's big huge picture windows on two of the four walls. So you can have literally 40 or 50 people, 60 people that can look in and watch. Yes. And you know, can fit quite a few people on that bed. And after, I won't go into it, but after we got in there playing, there were some careless couples that were coming in a little bit older, and they literally would just kind of push the way across the bed into us and a few of

Speaker 2 (21:31):
Us, my hair knee on and pulled a

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Few times. Barbie had some lady sit on her head and she was like, what the fuck? <laugh>? Well, GI Neil know, we were in there with Barbie and GI Joe who he did the full SWA with our friends. And it almost turned into a little war in there because GI Joe was getting awfully pissed and roughly. And so we're like people, like it's very distracting. And we would've choked every motherfucker in there because <laugh> both military guys and fighters and they were all as fucked.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
They probably drunk,

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Honestly, they probably drunk and they wouldn't have stood a chance anyway. But I didn't want to get kicked out of the club. No. So there were a few times GI Joey, he got a little more upset with it than I did, but I understand. Yes. And so there were a few times I just wash him like, all right, I'll dive in with my buddy if I have to, but I, I'm pissed off too, but let's just fuck it. We're done in here anyway. But anyway, get that out of the way. Don't need to go into that. But it almost got really eventful and I think the real mission was just to distract those guys so bad that their dicks would turn into marshmallows and it would ruin Exactly. It would ruin the experience for 'em as a big fuck you as we were on our way up.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
And hopefully it did.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
No, what was hot about this is that our unicorn friend, special K, she went in there with us. So it was me and you Special K, and it was Barbie and GI Joe. Yeah. You want to take it from there? A little bit.

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Okay. I'm trying to remember. I don't remember exactly what happened first. I think what me and John were playing on the bed and he'd periodically kiss special K and we were playing, and then Barbie and Gia Joe were right beside us. And me and Barbie were kissing and making out.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
You two were on your backs and me and Gia, Joe were standing between your legs.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
So we were kissing each other and then me and John were kissing each other. I think special Kay and I were kissing on and off too so we were kind of all just making out Oh yes, yes. Special K and GI Joe. They started fucking and I think John and Barbie started fucking, and me and Barbie were still making out. I think that happened too.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
It gets to be kind of a blur and not, I know.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
It's like how do I keep track of the order of how it went? I don't know. It was all fucking hot

Speaker 1 (24:16):
And I hadn't had that much to drink. But for me, the memories always just kind of blend together, even if I'm not totally hammered. But yeah, so

Speaker 2 (24:30):
That was what happened for a while first. And then in my head I'm thinking, okay, I really just want to do the swap thing. I really would like to try it. Well, because I've been wanting to try it for a couple months now, but I've been really fearful to try it because I didn't know how I was going to feel or whatever. I don't know. Is it going to be everything the church told me it was going to be like, or is it going to be not at all. It was because everything else I've tried has not been anything. The church has said, <laugh> that

Speaker 1 (25:06):
I would fall, you're going to fall apart, your marriage is going to die. All this shit, if you try new things, it tur. Turns out we all had a really fucking good time and it was nothing like that. But now sour. What was one of the reasons you were wanting to try the full swap other than the fantasy of it since you gotten a lifestyle, since we have, you've been a real go-getter and fear crusher. If you're afraid to try something, it seems like now with you, it's only a matter of time you're going to go do that fucking thing, even if for just the reason. Just for the fact of not being afraid to do it anymore. Yeah, that, can you talk about that? It

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Was very much there. And I think mean really just a short synopsis is I was raped and molested by two of my uncles when I was a child. And so then was healed recently about a year ago from all of that trauma finally. And

Speaker 1 (26:17):
So some holistic medicine retreats that we did in Central America, but we'll get it more into that maybe at a different time. But in case you're wondering what does she mean by that or how, yeah, you can write us, you can email us if you want more information about what

Speaker 2 (26:30):
That is. I'd love to tell you more. I have a YouTube all about it that I wrote. I talked about it. But yeah, so I, because I was so controlled by fear in every part of my growing up and now that I'm healed from all of that now instead of running away from things that scare me, I'm like, let's fucking do it. Because I'm not going to be controlled by fear any longer in my life because I was controlled by it for 37 years. So no longer am I going to be controlled by it. So yes, that was a huge part of why I was like, I just want to not be scared about doing it. I want to just do it and just have my own personal opinion about it.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yeah. Now again, this was a spontaneous post swap. We did not plan this. Yeah. Tell me this, we haven't talked about this, but tell me this. When we went into the room and we were playing on the bed altogether, playing with our friends, you were kissing Barbie, all this is going on, but we hadn't like full swapped yet. Was there anything in your mind hoping it would go that direction? Yes. Whole time. Can you talk about that? Because I couldn't read your mind obviously, so I didn't know. I was just busy playing with the Barbie.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
Well, just because I

Speaker 1 (27:54):
And Special k

Speaker 2 (27:55):
I, I'll admit it, I'm very attracted to GI Joe. He's very, very attracted. He's very much the type of guy that I'm attracted to because he's very much like John. John is. They're very, very similar in a lot of ways. So the attraction was definitely there for that. Plus I was like, I really have gotten to know him and Barbie and I felt very safe and comfortable with doing that with him.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Okay. Now I remember there was one point during the playing, I remember I looked at you and we had kind of finished up playing a little bit, and I could see you weren't trying to show it, but you had this frustration look about you. No, not that you weren't enjoying yourself. You were with me and Barbie and everything going on, but you didn't say this, but when I sensed a look on your face, instantly what went through my head was I don't want to be told, or I don't want to have to ask to swap. I want to be told I have to swap. Yep. Because we've discovered one of June's kinks is me telling her what to do, and that helps with her anxiety because she doesn't have to think about what's going to happen. Instead she's just doing what she's told and she likes doing what she's told and being told what to do.

(29:26):
So a dominant kind of submission kind of thing that she likes very much. And so I thought when I looked at her, an epiphany hit me in that moment. I'm like, oh, that look, it literally dawned in my head, she wants to be told to swap. And so I looked at GI Joe who was next to me, and he was having sex with Barbie at that point, I think. And Barbie are special, K one of 'em. But anyway, I looked at him, he was standing right next to me and we both had our ladies on their back and doing things. And I said, Hey, you want to swap? And he goes, yeah, of course. Cool. And so I left and you

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Guys looked at me and asked, and I was like, yes.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Who did?

Speaker 2 (30:14):
I think you guys both asked me too because I answered, I was Oh

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah. Yes. And we were both very consensual guys. Yeah. We're the safest guys you'll ever be around. They're like, nothing will ever happen. You don't want to happen with us in the room. Yeah, that's big. That's big for us, for both of us as guys. So she said, yeah. So what was I going with that I was saying something can't think of it right now. I was about to say it, don't worry. But yeah, I had that feeling that she wanted me to say it. Oh yeah. When she said yes or when I asked him, he said yes. I looked at her and said, get over here. You're going to swap with him and I'm going to swap with her. And you got right over it. You looked so, so relieved that I told you what you're going to do and pretty aroused because again, it's like you wanted to be told to swap without you having to tell me that you wanted to be told <laugh> to swap. Because again, you don't kind of like if I get you roses because he complained, Hey, you should give me roses sometime. It's been a long time. Well, if then I show up that same day with roses, do they really mean anything?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
No.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
No. But if I come home or roses I did last week out of nowhere because I thought of it, it meant more to you. And I think the swap telling you, you're going to swap with him, get over here. We're going to swap with him. Get over here. This is what's happening. I think it seemed as if you liked it more because it was more like I was telling you because I wanted to tell you and you didn't want to have to ask to be told. Yeah, it can you affirm that just so I don't sound like a creeper around here? Absolutely. I mean, be totally transparent here.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
No, that's exactly the case.

Speaker 1 (32:09):
I've had to figure this out. I literally

Speaker 2 (32:11):
Looked over at him hoping that he would read my face and say, let's swap. Because I literally purposely looked over at him. I really hope that he reads my mind right now and makes this happen.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
And I did. And I did. Yes.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
Yes he did.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
So this is a first experience for both of us. I've never watched another guy, fuck you.

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Nope.

Speaker 1 (32:40):
Now you had your first time watching me. Fuck another lady. You'd done that a few times. But we both played with them <laugh> every time. And so I think that's a little different in some ways. Maybe not all, but there's definitely that newness of there's my husband or wife doing it with somebody else. So we switched and Dan was standing with you in front of it. So me and Gia, Joe switched spots. He was standing between your legs, you're on your back on the bed. I'm between Barbie's legs. And so we switched spots and we're, I think him and I were kind of asking each of you ladies like, Hey, how do you like it? Is everything okay just checking in before we start playing which I like to see. And well,

Speaker 2 (34:04):
I think you actually told GI Joe, hey, she likes it slow. And I don't remember exactly what you said. I heard you tell him something though.

Speaker 1 (34:17):
Well probably more slow and central right now because this is her very first time doing this. Yeah. I'd actually whisper to him before we did this, please just be really, really easy with her and let her guide it. In other words, Hey, please don't fuck this up for me. And he didn't because if there's some asshole just comes in and wants to go to pound time with no lube like that, that's like, fuck. Then she's going to think everyone's like that and I'm going to have to work through and undo that. Yeah. No, but no, he was the great, one of the greatest people to do this with us for sure. And so I remember looking over and literally intentionally watching it happen, just in my own mind, how am I going to respond to this? How am I, I didn't get any pleasure out of seeing it.

(35:13):
I know some people get pleasure out of seeing their spouse or their partner with someone else. I don't. But I wasn't against it for a couple reasons. One I know he is a good dude, so he not over there being hurt or not listen to, I would shut that shit down instantly with anybody. But two, it's like there's that question that people outside the lifestyle have. How can you watch your spouse with another person? Well, his lady looks like a Barbie doll and I'm fucking her. So it is kind of an even trade where, how can you watch your lady with him? Well, he's sharing his lady with me and she wants me. And so it's kind of an even trade where between knowing you what you're doing, and I like what I'm doing. In this case, Barbie liked what she's doing. And GI Joe liked what he was doing.

(36:13):
I didn't see any real conflict. And then I just sort of focused on her. I didn't even really pay attention to you all. And we had a really good time. She told me how she liked it and was very clear. Yeah, <laugh> in very, very bold terms. She was ready to fucking go. And I won't say what she said, but it was the biggest fucking turn on when she said, told me what to do and how she likes it just for the sake of disrespecting and the anonymity of it. In other words, she basically wanted to rough as hell. And she had said at one point, I think to us, she always tells people she likes it rough, but people are never rough enough with her. They're afraid they're going to hurt her. Well, I didn't want to be another one of those guys who bitched out and was just another filled story on the wall of shame where Oh yeah.

(37:15):
And so I'm like, all right. I said, I'm going to give you what you're asking for, but if at any point you're uncomfortable, just start tapping my arm or something. Let you know I'm not going to fail you. But I don't want to fucking scare you because I am a dominant guy. And I like the rough shit. I, so I didn't know where her level went or didn't go. And she's acting like she was talking all the way to the fucking cliff is her limit. And so I want to make sure that was actually the case. And so,

Speaker 2 (37:51):
And see, I'm more central slow. Yes. Now it's with John. I like the dominance. I like him pulling my hair, choking me this morning. I was like, eh, we ended last, we had fucked this morning. And I was like, this was perfect. And he is like, what made it perfect? I said, I don't know everything about it. You were choking me. Just the right amount of, it wasn't overly, but it was perfect amount. And

Speaker 1 (38:17):
This is a 3:47 AM And she wakes me up like, fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
I was like I haven't came in a few days. Look, can you make me come

Speaker 1 (38:30):
All? I'm like, well, let me pray about it. Amen.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
But yeah so when I was fucking GI Joe we would kiss for a little bit and then Special K would kind of come in and out of kissing with John and me

Speaker 1 (38:48):
And touching and playing.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
And here's what I love. And I don't think I've told Barbie this yet, which I'll need to tell her. But what I really loved about the whole thing was that she was holding my hand the whole time and that it meant a lot.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah. Well, because she's been around. This is a little longer than we have. And yeah, she's a really, not just a beautiful lady, but a really great person and

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Good friend. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
I think she recognized that maybe, or maybe remember, remembered maybe her anxiety the first time. And so yeah, she held your hand, which yeah, I

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Really loved

Speaker 1 (39:32):
That. Not to insist

Speaker 2 (39:33):
Too, and on and off too,

Speaker 1 (39:35):
Not to kill the sentimental moment, but I thought it was hot that she was holding your hand while that was happening. Cause she's touching you and because you had already made out with her and play with each other. And now it's like you're touching each other while we swapped. You change each other with you two.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
But yeah, I'll tell her I want to tell her, but it really meant a lot to me just as a first time. Yeah. Because I was nervous. I don't know. Well,

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Who wouldn't be? Do

Speaker 2 (40:03):
I feel great? I hear it from John. Oh, you feel awesome. But I don't know, I didn't even know what I'm trying to say, but just hearing, and you had said, he had said, oh, she feels great. Which I didn't hear him say that, but you had told me that later. And that made me feel good because yeah, we want to, I am a pleaser. I want to please, and I want to know that I did feel good too.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
I is what you're trying to say, and I'm just trying to help, and correct me if I'm wrong, is what you're saying, is it, was it that it felt good to have affirmation from someone else who isn't your husband, who you expect to have the good affirmation from, to kind of affirm I'm not the only one saying nice things because I I'm supposed to, yeah. Because I'm your husband. But to hear it from somebody else who is really attracted to you and we've gotten to know some. Yeah. Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Okay. Okay. You're better with words sometimes.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
Well, I'm also outside your experience, so Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
That's exactly what I meant for sure. Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
So

Speaker 2 (41:13):
I don't think it could have went any better.

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:17):
So it really did for the first time for me, it went great.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
So all with all of your anxiety built up for finally trying this, and I would imagine most, if not all women probably experience that to some extent before, if they ever do a swap before the first full swap or trying something like that for the first time, they probably have the anxiety, the fear, the imagined fears, things like that. Tell me this, tell us all this was with all your anxiety and imagine fear, was any of that true? Or was the outcome afterwards completely different?

Speaker 2 (42:01):
It was not at all true. From everything I had heard from the church

Speaker 1 (42:06):
Or anxiety about swapping or what's it going to be with another person, what it means about you. It's going to destroy your marriage. It's going to get between, you had all this built up fear, was it, was that confirmed or completely debunked after we did it?

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Most of it was debunked. There was a day and a half that I had to process things. And I talked with another lifestyle friend who was very much, grew up very religious like I did. And I was able to talk to her and she was like, June, if you don't have any, you have any guilt for what you did. If you and your husband are on the same page for what you're doing and you don't have guilt, you don't need to feel bad, that you don't have guilt. Because that was what I was feeling. It was like, oh my God, I didn't feel bad after the fact, and I was feeling bad that I didn't feel bad, which makes no sense,

Speaker 1 (43:06):
But that's what you hear in the church. Well, bum, it does make sense because there's some parts of society, in this case, church that have psychologically trained and conditioned us that certain things are wrong and we should feel bad if we encounter or do them when in reality, without being told, we should feel bad about doing something if we just do that thing and we're like, wow, that was actually really fun. That was pretty good. And I personally don't feel bad about it, but we have this overshadowing feeling that we've been trained to have that we feel bad about. Oh, swapping like hell, going to a swinger's club, let alone swapping. You should feel bad about that. And so there's like, there's what you're told you're supposed to feel, and you've been told that your whole life. So what's present? But then there's what you actually feel that is conflicting with that.

(44:04):
Yes. Because you don't actually feel the way you were told you should or are supposed to feel or you will feel if you do it, and now you did it and you don't feel that way. So what's conflicting is the way that you've been conditioned to think you're supposed to feel and the way you actually do. And I think that's all that seemed from my observation. That seemed to be a lot of the processing over the next couple days you were doing. I think that was the big conflict. Would you agree? Was there something else?

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Oh no. That was completely it. When I was upset or when I was trying to process, it had nothing to do at all with him at everything to do with me. Why? I'd replay it in my mind, all of it. And it was awesome. But then I'm thinking, oh my God, I should feel bad for how great it was, and why am I not feeling bad for how great it was? And then I would cry and then I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? I get so mad and frustrated because I'm like, damnit, the church just

Speaker 1 (45:07):
Mind fucked you

Speaker 2 (45:08):
God. Yes. Big time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
Well, and I think that applies to a lot of life. Be careful because when you do something and you actually enjoy it, but then you're like, why do I feel bad? Maybe it's because you've been taught supposed to feel bad, even though you maybe don't feel bad, maybe you actually enjoyed whatever the thing was. And that's a point of disconnection where you have to really look and go, is it true? And do I really feel that way? Or have I just been taught to feel that way?

Speaker 2 (45:44):
And John was a real help too with that too, because he asked me those things and I was like, well, no, it felt great. I don't feel bad about it. It doesn't take anything away from what we have. It just was great fun. And then the next day, it was great sex. It was a great warmup for us to come home and finish with each other. So kind of their great sex toys that warm us up so that we can come home and fuck and come in each other and

Speaker 1 (46:19):
And we are for them too, and a lot, and most people in lifestyle. I've heard a lot of people in the lifestyle <laugh> talk about that, how they warm up and they warm up sometimes with other people, but end of the night they go home together or they end the night together privately and it's super hot sex because the whole environment's been so sexed up and jazzed up for several hours that when they get with the one they're with, that's where it's the finish line,

Speaker 2 (46:48):
Like a rocket

Speaker 1 (46:48):
Ship. We're all each other's foreplay and we all love it. And then we all have great sex as a result. I don't see any problem with that. I think more marriages would survive if they had that. Not that that's the only piece that matters, but that's a big fucking piece. So all in all was a full, was a first full swap a good experience for you?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
And would you ever do it again?

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Yes. I hope for my

Speaker 1 (47:22):
Birthday. We can redo it again. <laugh> happy birthday, baby. Bend over.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Yes. Yeah. And with him, because I think

Speaker 1 (47:34):
Well, cause we, we've know him and we know him and her, we're more comfortable with him and her than anyone else at this point.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
Now that can change over time with whoever. Eventually. I may not need to be knowing the people for a few months before we do stuff. But that's just where I'm at right now because that's just where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
And that's a good testament though, to the fact that at least for us, the lifestyle is a, it's a growth journey. It's an evolution. It's a self-discovery for both of us individually as well as a couple. And well, like she

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Said, is not a race,

Speaker 1 (48:11):
And it's okay to try things or have reservations or be anxious about trying things. It's okay to step out and try things. It's okay to feel how you feel and talk through it with your partner. And I think the biggest win that we've ever had in the lifestyle, and we had great communication before the lifestyle, but I think the biggest win advantage we've gained from the lifestyle is that we're not afraid to tell each other what we're actually thinking when it comes to sexual fantasy or want to try something. Before it was like, yeah, we communicate. I'm telling her 80% of the stuff, maybe she's telling me 80% of her fantasies, but there's that 20% we're not saying, and neither one of us wants to break the ice first because what if the other person is mad or doesn't understand, or they think it means something about them or any of that stuff.

(49:15):
But that's basically been completely shattered at this point. We can say, no matter what it is, hey, I think this is really hot. Or I really like this about her or whatever. And we're not mad because we just accept each other for the fact that for whatever reason, we're designed how we are and we like what we like. And that's every single fucking person who's ever lived. And we're not wrong for having the kinks we do or the things we like. Maybe sometimes we're just different than the person we're with, but they have their own things too. And so it's just kind of like, well, hey, I'll accept you. Will you accept me? We don't have to be able to explain it. We don't have to be able to understand it. I just know you like this and you just know I like this other thing and we're just both cool with each other with it.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
No, I do feel like a few days ago we kind of had an argument and that was because I just wasn't flat out. I kind of took a joke too seriously because I'm still, I think he accepts me for me, but I still feel like there's that 30% that I'm trying to love myself completely for being the way that I am now because I didn't grow up being bisexual. I didn't find out at 16 that I was bisexual. I found out, or

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Six or some people claimed.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
I literally was 37 when I found out that I was curious. And then 38 bisexual. So it's not been a long process for me. Especially bisexual has only been the past six months since the lifestyle. So I still feel like I growing to love myself completely for being that way. And so when he made a joke about something, I was like, ah, and I took it too seriously. And I'm like, God dang it. I was so mad at myself for getting like that because he was just joking. But I took it seriously because I'm still trying to love myself fully for being who I am.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
And I'm real understanding even though I can get frustrated, and obviously I'm not perfect, nobody is. But I do understand, and we've had this conversation, the less healed we are, the more we tend to cause problems with other people, the more healed, accepting and whole we are of ourselves and comfortable with ourselves and what we are tend to have, it seems generally, we tend to have an easier time being around other people and accepting them. Now, in all fairness, the other night when I said that joke I think we had been drinking some vodka and that always, at least in the past couple months for some reason, we both tend to take things a little more serious. Even if it's, it's a joke that we know will both laugh at, but then for some reason, something in you doesn't sit well. And then the vodka effect on that emotion doesn't help at all. And sometimes it can. So sometimes it

Speaker 2 (52:26):
Escalates.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yeah. It's not like you're the total problem if something you're working through and I'm someone who I'm always here trying to help you work through whatever. And even if whether or not at leads is something I like or want, I'm here for you. Some people might think, well, he's just trying to steer her in the direction he wants so he can get what he wants and do what he wants.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
And I know what he wants. He likes threesomes.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
I like multiple women.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Look, remember ladies, men are simple. You can have all these wild fantasies and all this stuff. At least for me, I just like more than one woman at a time. June and another, and another hot lady. That's my simple,

Speaker 2 (53:14):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
It,

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah. I so just know that we've only been doing this about six, seven months and yeah, we're still figuring things out. I still feel like we're pretty new to it. Oh yeah. Just because we're still figuring out things. And like I said, we just did our first full swap.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
Yeah. We hope

Speaker 2 (53:37):
You And that was great.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Yeah. We hope you enjoyed the story. And some people might think, well, you shouldn't be given advice and a lifestyle if you're new to it. You shouldn't be given advice by anything if you're new. And in some cases I would agree with that. But in this case, I don't because this is our relationship we're talking about. And what mean by that is, one, we've been married almost 20 years very happily and very successfully, and other couples come to us for relationship advice when their shit's on the rocks. That was before the lifestyle. But with the lifestyle, all we're really doing is sharing our journey and what we think we're learning through it. And we just thought, Hey, you know what? If listening to this relates to what we say cool. That can help you. And if there's something we know as far as how to communicate with each other, maybe that helps enhance your relationship, then good. That's the advice we're giving. Just so you know. We'll never try to advise you on something or give you a definite answer on something that should not be advised upon or we're not qualified to. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, if you want to have your questions answered if you have a question, just go ahead, email us at new swingers podcast gmail.com. New swingers podcast gmail.com. Oh, there she goes again.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
<laugh> June and her

Speaker 1 (55:05):
New Swingers podcast. Obligatory blowjob. We got another email. <laugh> like, what about the blowjob? Did I miss it? <laugh>? Like what? That was the subject line. Did I miss it? Yeah. So June does that because she likes to. I do. And if you don't like it, we don't give a shit. If you do like it, which who doesn't like blowjob and what guy at least, well, guy.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
But anyway, yeah. So that's the episode. Be sure to check out June's only fans right there. It's the first link in the show notes. Give us the rating or review. Check out her seriously. Check out the only fans. So if you want to see what this hot southern beauty looks like, who is the voice you're listening to? <laugh>. Go check out the only fans. And

Speaker 2 (55:53):
I just got a new sexy Thigh tattoo, so that's on there as well.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Oh yeah. <laugh>, just say she shows the tattoo. And there's some other stuff showing too that you were not going to want to miss.