32- "Undercover Single Guy" At A Swinger's Club! (John wants to understand what it's like to be a single guy at a swinger's club & you won't believe who he ran into!)

Single guys seem like they are treated like second-class citizens in the swinger lifestyle. So John went to a swinger's club by himself to pose as a single guy in order to understand what it's like to be in the swinger lifestyle WITHOUT a beautiful woman by your side (and all the 'perks' that come with it). "What struggles do single guy's face and can we help them do better?" June approved of John's experiment and asks him all kinds of questions so we can better help understand single guys and give them more helpful swinger lifestyle advice. This "swinging social experiment" started with John wearing an "extremely provocative shirt" (just wait until you hear what it said on it!) and ended with John randomly running into someone he never would've expected to see at a swingers club. Just wait until you find out who it was... Click play to find out right now!

----------

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John.

Speaker 2 (00:00:03):
And I'm June.

Speaker 1 (00:00:03):
And today we are going to be talking about me going undercover <laugh> at a swinger's club, <laugh> called Undercover Single guy at a swinger's club. And we'll get a little more into that as we go through the episode and why, and June's going to ask me a lot of questions about it. It's kind of like the Undercover Boss TV show. Yeah. It's like you don't know. It's the boss and he's there. He's not really who you think he is when you meet him,

(00:00:33):
But yeah. So anyways, by the way, if you haven't given us a rating review, if you've listened to us before, if you've gotten any value out of this, please right now, take three seconds. Go click those stars, give us a rating and leave every review. Just leave a comment. It takes like five seconds to leave a comment. You can do it while you're listening right now, and just type in a comment about how this podcast has been helpful for you or some sort of value that you've received out of it, and maybe how it helped you in the lifestyle, because it helps other people who are new and helps them feel like they're not alone and know they're not alone. And yeah, we do this not just to share a story in our lifestyle journey, but we do it because we realize that, hey, we're doing this together let's document it. And by the way, it might actually be able to help some people. Exactly. And so leave a rating and review. Go there right now, just click the stars. It takes three seconds to do. Leave a comment. It takes another five seconds. And you never know the difference it could make in someone's life if they hear what you have to say and they see a high number of ratings and reviews that they might connect with and it helps them. So anyway.

Speaker 2 (00:01:44):
Well, and I have an only fann, and for thank you for if you do their rating or reviews, there's some pictures that are on, I have an only fans. I have

Speaker 1 (00:01:55):
You post hot sexy pictures. I do every fucking day. And your only fans, which by the way, that's the first link in the show notes is June's only fans. She has pierce nipples. If you've never been here before and this is your first time listening, she's 32. Double Ds, very beautiful, got 'em pierced and yeah, she likes to show 'em off. Former church preschool teacher <laugh> found out she's an exhibitionist and a swinger wife. So

Speaker 2 (00:02:22):
There's that.

Speaker 1 (00:02:23):
Fuck. So fucking hot. Stupid people have no idea how hot you are because they don't see your face or they only hear your voice. You have no idea. You are literally, if you look up the term mil in the dictionary, <laugh>, you look up the term mil in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of June.

Speaker 2 (00:02:41):
Why? Thank you, babe.

Speaker 1 (00:02:42):
But I digress. We'll probably have sex after this probably, I hope

Speaker 2 (00:02:47):
<laugh>.

Speaker 1 (00:02:49):
So anyway, by the way, if you have questions about your lifestyle journey, we don't know everything, but we have been married almost two decades, happily. By the way, if you have questions you want to ask about the lifestyle or your journey or something you're dealing with, send us an email at New swingers podcast, new swingers podcast gmail.com, new swingers with an new swingers podcast gmail.com. And we often address and answer your questions, and we do that anonymously. Your name will never be disclosed. A lot of times your email server attaches your name to the email. You might not know that. Don't worry. We'll never say your name. And if it's in our inbox, we'll we'll know. It'll never be discussed anywhere. And so that's our trust with you. But anyway, today's episode, <laugh>, June's going to be asking me questions and I'm going to be answering them. And she's also going to give some of her opinion an insight about what I did recently, what, four days ago? What is today? Four or five days. What is today? Is today? Today's

Speaker 2 (00:04:02):
Monday.

Speaker 1 (00:04:03):
Monday. It was Friday night. Yeah, Friday night. I did the undercover, undercover single guy thing at a swinger club. So I have a list of questions I'm going to hand over to June right now, and she's going to ask me. And June, as always, feel free if you have something to say about what I say. I know our listeners love hearing you probably more than they enjoy hearing me talking.

Speaker 2 (00:04:27):
Yeah. Okay. So the first one says, how did you come up with the idea to pose as a single guy at the Swinger's Club?

Speaker 1 (00:04:36):
Well, about two weeks ago on a Friday night, I was home alone drinking. That's how every great story begins. And I was drinking. I was alone. You and the kids were out of town. And I, in fact, it's funny when I say I was drinking alone because that night, one of the songs I was listening to was, I Drink Alone.

Speaker 2 (00:04:57):
I Drink Alone

Speaker 1 (00:04:58):
By George Thy Good, the Bad to the Bone guy

Speaker 2 (00:05:00):
With nobody else.

Speaker 1 (00:05:02):
He talked about drinking alone. I'm sitting there going, shit, I'm drinking alone. Well, it randomly came to me that we do everything together in the lifestyle, and I have no desire to do anything separate from you. But I've realized we do riff on single guys a lot. We rag on them a lot. They're not all bad, but there are so many, let's just say there's so many fucking dumb ones that they give all the single guys a bad name. They act like creepers. Creepers. They act like weirdos. They say weird shit. They send you weird emails and messages on social media. And it's like, so we riff on 'em. But at the same time, one of those guys might be able to say to me, well, John, it's easy for you to say you have a super hot wife who goes everywhere at lifestyle events with you.

(00:05:56):
That changes the dynamic and it That's right. That's true. It does. And so I thought, I want to truly understand the experience of a single guy at a swinger's club. I know everything that they do that we hate, that we're annoyed by that. We go, creeper, creeper alert. And I'm thinking, I wonder if I'll want to do those things. Or maybe I'll understand why they do those things if I'm in their shoes. And if I don't, how did I get over that? And maybe I can tell them how I got over it so they don't come off as creepers as much and have a better experience and everyone else does too. So that's where I got the idea. I was standing in our kitchen and I'm, I'm standing there just, I think I was pouring my fourth shot

(00:06:48):
Again. That's how every great story starts. And I remember telling you on, I think I told you on the phone, you had called me and I said, Hey, I don't have to do this, but it's just a social experiment, just an idea I have. What if I went to the club alone imposed as a single guy on a Friday night, because Friday night the club we're part of, they let single guys in couples and singles, but single guys are only allowed on certain nights. And so what if I went alone? And the whole thing is not that I want to go alone, but to do this social experiment to see what is it actually like? And what was your first thought? Now I know you all love here in June, probably again, way more than me. So she had mixed feelings about it. Can you talk about that? When I first mentioned to you going to the club without you, not because I wanted to be there without you, but because I wanted to do this social experiment, but in order to do it, you couldn't be there with me. How did you feel about that? When I first mentioned the idea

Speaker 2 (00:07:49):
I didn't like it. Cause I was like, well, because we do, in my mind it's like, well, we join the lifestyle so that we could enjoy other people, but we'd be together doing that. We could figure out what we like with each, but we'd be there with each other doing that. And so the thought of us, of you going by yourself, I was like, okay how's that going to work? Because what if that actually works with the experiment? And then because we've never played separate, how's that going to work? Because that's something we've never done before.

Speaker 1 (00:08:29):
And by the way, that I forgot a really important detail. When I showed up to the Swingers Club, posing as a single guy, I was wearing a bright blue t-shirt or a dark blue t-shirt with bold white letters on it that said, I'm here to fuck someone's wife.

Speaker 2 (00:08:50):
We have matching ones. We have

Speaker 1 (00:08:52):
Matching ones June. June likes fucking wives too. And so she has a purple one, I have a blue one. So I showed up with wearing a t-shirt that said, literally says, I'm here to fuck someone's wife. And we'll get into more detail about that. But I figured if I'm going to do this, we need to go balls of the wall. Let's go all out. So I told you about it, the idea, but I said, Hey, we don't have to do this. But I think it would be really interesting. I think we'd learn a lot. And I know some of our listeners are going, this guy is so full of fucking shit. He just wanted to go there and fuck ladies without his wife being there. No. Here's the reason. What I have going is way better than that. My wife likes to fuck ladies with me. Like hell, she brings the hot ones back to our house. She attracts them to us. I do less work because with me,

Speaker 2 (00:09:43):
You're welcome. Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:09:46):
And in my mind, the more women that are involved in a playtime, the better. So I'm not trying to get her out of the picture or anything like that. This is fun for us. Yeah. So anyways, I was wearing that said, I'm here to fuck somebody's wife.

Speaker 2 (00:10:03):
But for me, I was like, oh, we do this together. Now he's wanting to go by himself. I know it's for the experiment, but he, here's what went through my mind. And that's what I told him. I said, you've told me so many times when we've watched movies or whatever, and the women are throwing themselves at the guys. And the guys are like, no. And John has told me multiple times, that is the hardest thing to do, is to turn down a woman who's throwing themselves at you. So my mind immediately when he's saying, oh, I'm going to go, I want to go to the club for the experiment without you, my mind went to, okay, so what's going to happen if that actually works? And it happens,

Speaker 1 (00:10:44):
What if I do really good and I get a passing grade? And it leads to the inevitable space of having sex with people

Speaker 2 (00:10:52):
Without me there. Without either. Because we've never done that. And that was a huge thing for me. Cause I was like

Speaker 1 (00:10:58):
And I, again, I wasn't trying to make that happen.

Speaker 2 (00:11:02):
Oh yeah, I know,

Speaker 1 (00:11:03):
But just, no, just so people know, that wasn't my goal. My goal

Speaker 2 (00:11:07):
Was, but my mind went there immediately

Speaker 1 (00:11:09):
And it had to because it's either not going to work or it's going to work. And it's like, well, what if the experiment goes too well? Then it's like, well, I'm not going to play with a lady without June there or June not knowing or them being like, oh yeah, I did by the way, and we weren't cool, or we weren't on the same page before that. That would create trouble. And I wasn't trying to do that. It's just the nature of the beast. Either if you play a football game, either win or you lose.

Speaker 2 (00:11:37):
So I'll be honest, we had a couple little tiffs about it because I was like it was new territory. We've never played separate. And I personally, I have no desire to ever do that. Ever. Yeah. I mean, that's where we're at right now, whatever. But that's for me, I don't think, for me personally, I don't think I ever have a desire to ever play separate, even if it was just with a girl. I just don't, don't know.

Speaker 1 (00:12:07):
Yeah. And I'm totally cool if you wanted to play separate with the girls. No, not guys, because I know some guys are assholes and weirdos and I think that would be unsafe. I just don't like the idea. But with girls, I've told you plenty of times if you want to go stay the night at Barbie's house or whatever, and she wants to show you some stuff that she likes and play, I'm totally cool with that. Even if I'm not there. Nothing, again, nothing in me wants to play without you, but at the same time, going in, it's different trying to meet people without you as you're going to hear as June starts asking me this list of questions. But if I was with another woman, and we've talked about this total in total honesty, it wouldn't matter to me if you're there or not because I'm not focused on you anyway.

(00:12:55):
I'm focused on the person I'm with. So it's kind of the same situation. But again, I don't seek to have you out of the picture. And I know that. And the thing is, I know that's one of fears just because of rejection from her father and shit from her past where she, she's always been very afraid of abandonment and being cut out of the picture. And I've always been very upfront with, that's never going to happen, but I know that's a seat of fear that's in you. So this kind of scraped the edge of that. It does brushed up against it <laugh> a little bit. And I knew it was going to, but that's why I said, Hey, I had this idea, yes, I'm drinking, and yes, I have this idea. It's like, Hey, y'all, watch this. That's how every great redneck story starts. But I left it in your hands at one point. I told you, you got so frustrated and Madden in your head, I said, fuck it. I'm not doing it. And I meant it.

Speaker 2 (00:13:54):
Yeah, but I meant it like, yes, you are going to go. Then

Speaker 1 (00:13:59):
She turns around and she's telling me, yes, you are fucking going. I'm

Speaker 2 (00:14:02):
Because I want to get out of, because I don't want to be held back by shit in my brain from the way I grew up. I don't want to let that win.

Speaker 1 (00:14:13):
You don't want the fear

Speaker 2 (00:14:14):
With I don't want that. Yeah. Cause I do love John with all my heart, and it's like I'm and I,

Speaker 1 (00:14:21):
Yeah. And so when June's the kind of person now whenever she's afraid of something, it's only a matter of time, she's probably going to do it because she's like, fuck, fear. I refuse to live in it. I'm going to conquer that bitch. And she pretty much does. So anyway anything else about how you felt about it or what your experience was? When I mentioned the idea, and again, I didn't say I was going to, I said, Hey, here's an idea. Yeah, I think it'd be cool, but it's up to you. I'm cool.

Speaker 2 (00:14:50):
Well, I thought about all of our listeners and I thought, well, maybe there's something they can learn from this. And so I was like, yeah, I don't like the idea. But also I just had to get out of my head and just remind myself that if things go well and he does play with somebody, it's not anything that we already haven't done. It's, I'm not physically there. And so I had to literally, that whole night that he left, I just had to continually remind myself, Hey, it's okay. He's going to come back home to me and we're going to still be us and it's for the podcast. And if things do go good, and he does end up fucking some other wife, it's already done that. I just had to, I literally had to just continually, literally probably every 30 minutes just remind myself of that because I'm still trying to work through getting this shit out of my brain that has been in my brain for 39 years again

Speaker 1 (00:15:53):
And again. At the same time, I was perfectly willing to walk away from this idea, just so everyone listening understands, yeah, I would not have done this if Jun had a problem. There's no way. No, nothing is worth sacrificing what we are. Guys, have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events? If so, you're not alone. And it's common. The new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating. But don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA-approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout.

(00:16:57):
Yeah. So anyway, I just realized I'm naked wearing flip flops and you're not wearing flip flops.

Speaker 2 (00:17:02):
<laugh>, you weirdo. You're the weirdo.

Speaker 1 (00:17:05):
We so need to visit a nudist resort sometimes soon. We never been to one. Yeah, we're swinging. I've always wanted to do nudest one. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, not to be off topic, but June has a list of questions about this Yes. That she wants us to ask me. Yeah. So what do you say? We dive in.

Speaker 2 (00:17:19):
Okay. So were you nervous at all about going to the Swingers Club as a single guy?

Speaker 1 (00:17:25):
Okay. I think the answer is yes and no in the sense that I'm so familiar with that place because we're pretty much there every weekend and every other week in the middle of the week, we go on Wednesday nights. And so we know the bouncers, we know this stash, they all know us. And so it, not really, but it was more like the unknown of what's it going to be like. But also what am I going to do? Normally it's like I'm talking with you, we're dancing. I'm not going to get up on an empty dance floor and start dancing myself.

Speaker 2 (00:18:06):
You're not going to get up on this stage and let check this show. Everybody a show.

Speaker 1 (00:18:09):
Yeah. You shake my Irish, get up there, this skinny white guy just shaking his ass and in front of these couples and <laugh>. So what was the question?

Speaker 2 (00:18:23):
Were you nervous at all?

Speaker 1 (00:18:25):
Okay. Not really because I was so familiar with the environment, but also at the same time, yes, because like I said, the unknown, I wasn't sure what it was going to be. I realized after getting there that you remember Talladega Nights, the movie with Will Ferrell? Yeah. Do you remember the part where they're interviewing him on the waste on the racetrack and he is like, his hands keep going up in the air and they keep pushing his hands down and he is like, I don't know what to do with my hands. And his hands come back up. I don't know what to do with my hands. After getting there, I was, I kind of felt like I don't know what to do because I'm always with you. We do stuff together. And so I just went, got a drink, sat at the bar.

(00:19:13):
Several guys throughout the night obviously saw my t-shirt, especially under the low lights. It glowed my shirt, just said, I'm here to fuck someone's wife <laugh>. And most guys, they'd point at it and laugh and go, oh my God. They'd grab their lady and go look at his shirt. And I'm like, Hey, how you doing? And so I'm John, and it was a great introduction point because I'll tell you, if you're trying to meet new people in the lifestyle, if you're a single guy, humor is very disarming. You don't have to be a comedian. But if you just have or do something funny or say something or humor is very disarming and people are very open to that, it makes 'em very comfortable. Even if they don't know you, they've never seen you in their life. And people like to laugh, people to feel good. Your brain secretes happy chemicals.

(00:20:03):
There's five different happy chemicals. I won't go into the psychology lesson, but there are happy chemicals that your brain secretes, secretes and releases when you're laughing, when you find something funny and you feel good about it. And so that was my whole thing with the t-shirt. I mean, I was sitting there at the bar having a drink and just facing the couches, the dance floor, the open space where couples kept filtering in and sitting down and I'm just sitting there with my shirt and plain sight facing them and just with this shit eating grin on my face. Not obnoxious, but this grin. Because in my mind I'm thinking, I know these people are reading my fucking shirt and I know what they must be thinking. And a lot them were like, dude, that fucking shirt one guy is, at least you're not hiding it. I'm like, I know, right?

(00:20:52):
I said, I think there's a lot of power and clarity and yeah, I said, I'm here to have fun either way. I don't care. I'm not here to pressure anybody. I'm just here to have a good time, but I'm not going to hide the fact that I'm here for a reason. I talked to so many couples that night, and I'll get later to the point about why nothing happened something unexpected, a twist of fate took place, which I'll get to later. And there's a question you'll ask me about that toward the end. So yeah, I was nervous because I always have you as my wing man, not wing man, wing woman. But yeah, it was just the unknown. But anyway.

Speaker 2 (00:21:33):
Well, you may have already addressed this a

Speaker 1 (00:21:35):
Little bit. By the way, I'm drinking, so if I repeat myself, I'm sorry. Some people bitch and complain. He talks too much. He repeats himself. Most of the time we do. This podcast had a hundred proof rum, a hundred proof vodkas. So I really don't give a shit if this isn't for you. If I talk too much, go find another podcast. God bless you.

Speaker 2 (00:21:54):
Well, the next one, you may have addressed it a little bit, but it just says, what was going through your head as you were getting ready and then driving there?

Speaker 1 (00:22:01):
What was the weirdest thing? We're always standing at our sink. We have, what do they call a jack and Jill sink? There's your sink in my sink. <affirmative> the giant mirror in our master bathroom. What was weird is I was showering. We're usually shower together and then we get ready together. You're on your side of the sink. I'm on my sink getting ready, shaving spraying on stuff, make sure our clothes are good. And it was only me doing it. It felt a little bit weird not bad. It was just almost, I kind of missed, I didn't realize that I missed us getting ready together. And then as I'm driving there, it's, we have this gangster rap playlist like, oh yeah, in our late thirties, and we're white, and we got this gangster rap playlist from the nineties and ear through the early two thousands. And we listened to this shit on the way

Speaker 2 (00:22:59):
Every time.

Speaker 1 (00:23:00):
And it's so fun. You're talking 50 cent ice cube,

Speaker 2 (00:23:05):
Pit bull,

Speaker 1 (00:23:06):
Snoop Dogg, pit Bull. Yeah. And so I'm driving there by myself and I, I'm, I think I listen to music and then I'm like, eh, I'm just kind of thinking about questions. I'm going to ask people how I'm going to approach people. I'm kind of preparing mentally when I meet somebody, what's the first thing out of my mouth? Because that's important. How do you break the ice? And nobody knows this, but by I'm, this is the extent that I'm going to say this by profession, I'm a, I'll just say by profession. I am literally a professional communicator, however you interpret that, take it that way. But I've been a professional communicator for almost 20 years. That's how I make my living. And so I know how people think a lot, and I know what a lot of things that work to make people comfortable and how to say things.

(00:24:03):
So I have a lot of insight there. And I was just kind of going over a few of my one lines that I'll open up or break the ice with, because after you break the ice, it's kind of like everything else, just sort of organically flows. And if the conversation dies little, I know a couple things I can say that will keep it going. And not just me talking, but getting them talking. Yeah. There was one couple she was originally from Ohio and he was from San Francisco, and they met online. And one of the things I said, well, hey, where are you from? And he said, San Francisco. And before she answered, I said, wait. I said, don't tell me where you're from, but give me two clues and I'll guess make this fun. And by the way, I was listening to this YouTube channel called Charisma on Command before that, and that was one of the tips that this guy gave. And I'm like, damn, that's good. So I don't get anything out of that. But I watched a lot of his videos.

Speaker 2 (00:25:03):
So he just said, oh, he was like, somebody just asked them give a couple things.

Speaker 1 (00:25:10):
He was talking about how to make small talk that's interesting and not weird. So again, the charisma command, if you're a single guy, I think it's really good for that YouTube channel. It's really good for helping you set up for talking to people, because he has topics on everything, videos, on everything. But he had a few pointers I had never heard of even as a professional communicator. And I'm like, damn, this 25 year old kid, he's got a few million followers on there, and I can see why. So I'm like, you know what? I'm going to use that one. And I actually used it on a couple people, and this lady said something. I said, so where are you from? Don't tell me. Let me guess. Give me two hints. And she said, I can't remember the first thing. But then she said, skyline, Chile. And I said, you're from Cincinnati, Ohio? She goes, yep. And because originally I come from the Midwest region, and I know that Skyline, Chile, Cincinnati, Ohio, Cinci. So yeah, then there's that. I think I say Cleveland first. I'm like, no, it's another sea. It's Cinci. And she goes, yeah. I'm like, all right, cool. So anyway, I got off on Rabbit Trail there.

Speaker 2 (00:26:23):
You normally do <laugh>?

Speaker 1 (00:26:24):
I do. It's the alcohol.

Speaker 2 (00:26:26):
No <laugh>. No, it's not. No, it's not. But the booze doesn't help. That's Tim <laugh>

Speaker 1 (00:26:32):
Being drunk. AF doesn't help or does it? Hey, by the way, what you're drinking out of your glass says something on it. Yes, it does. You're drinking out of a wine glass? Yes. That I bought you that you didn't know I bought you. Can you tell our listeners what your wine glass says?

Speaker 2 (00:26:49):
Oh gosh, I got to grab it because I can't read it from here. I'll

Speaker 1 (00:26:51):
Go grab it with both hands, baby.

Speaker 2 (00:26:54):
No,

Speaker 1 (00:26:56):
It's like a foot away from you, <laugh>. Let me go grab it. It's like 12 inches from her fingertip. Okay,

Speaker 2 (00:27:03):
Well, I had to get out of the chair.

Speaker 1 (00:27:05):
Oh, good lord.

Speaker 2 (00:27:07):
And I also had drinks, so there's that. Okay. It says, I love to wrap both my hands in all caps around it and in all caps, swallow. All right. So I love to wrap both my hands around it and swallow.

Speaker 1 (00:27:22):
You love to wrap both your hands around it and swallow <laugh> the wine glass

Speaker 2 (00:27:25):
That is, yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:27:28):
Okay. Here, just put it right here on the desk. You're fine. There you go.

Speaker 2 (00:27:34):
All right. Next question.

Speaker 1 (00:27:36):
Next question.

Speaker 2 (00:27:40):
What were you expecting it to be like? Was it that way or different?

Speaker 1 (00:27:47):
I expected people to ignore me. And if I hadn't had the funny t-shirt on, I think I definitely would've been ignored. I'm just trying to think. Now, again, I expected people to ignore me. The thing is, I know in the lifestyle people say single guys get the bad name. They're kind of like second class citizens. I did kind of feel separate because like 95% of the people in there were couples. But here's the thing I did, I did sort of feel that way, but nobody was making me feel that way. I sort of felt it by default because I didn't have a wing girl. I didn't with me, I didn't have somebody with me that to make it normal, it is. And so I've heard people say cer certain clubs, the one we go to is like, they're real, or you feel like you're kind of not included.

(00:28:55):
It's not that I wasn't included, it's just that most couples weren't there to talk to me. And so if I didn't start the conversation, most of 'em talk to me unless it was one of the ones that where the guy was like, oh my God, your shirt. Or one of the ladies. And one of the couples looked at my shirt and pointed out to her husband, and she's like, oh, look at his shirt. I see him 20 feet away pointing at me looking, and she's laughing. She likes my shirt, and who knows where that could've gone, but now here's what I did. She pointed out, he looked, he laughed. She's laughing. So I get up and I walk over and just shake hands. I noticed he's wearing a Harley Davidson shirt, a button down shirt.

(00:29:41):
I ride a Harley. I didn't even introduce myself. I just said, dude, do you ride a Harley? And he goes, oh yeah, man, I've had six or seven of 'em over the years, and her and I actually got in an accident last year. We're like, we're both fine. But yeah, I've got a road king. And I'm like, man, I've got a street glide, man. Cool. Here's what I did. I found a point of common interest. I'm not walking up going, Hey man, we don't know each other, but I can I fuck your wife. That Ford approach might work with some people if they're drunk enough or they're just horny enough. I know with you and me, that fucker would get shot down and he would never have a chance. He would be unredeemable. So I just saw he's wearing a Harley Davidson shirt. And so I'm like, dude, I so take this single guys or anybody listening, but find a point of mutual interest and talk about June.

(00:30:41):
You compliment ladies on their skirts, on their shoes all the time. Oh my God, I love your outfit. God, we've made friends that we've played with just because you said hi and said, oh my God, I love your eyeshadow. I love your heels. I love the top you're wearing. We didn't know that was going to go anywhere. You were just being nice. Yeah. But you found, obviously, if the lady's wearing something in the case of you complimenting her she obviously likes it. Well, it's a point of mutual interest. Yeah. Well, I found that with the guys, and I didn't talk to one lady first. Every couple I talked to, and it was work by the way, being a single guy in one of these environments, the whole night was work, walking up to people saying Hi, having something to say getting the conversation started and then when one ends, another one starts.

(00:31:36):
So it was a lot more effort than it normally is because normally I'll just have you compliment a lady, and then we might hang out all night talking to those people or playing or more or whatever. Or we just become good friends with 'em, which is awesome. So it was a lot more work on my end. But one of the things I did, again, I found a point in mutual interest based on, for example, what the guy was wearing. Another guy had a mohawk, he had a blonde mohawk, and he was shaved on the sides. He was kind of goth, which I'm not goth. I don't really hang in that crowd, but he looked like a nice dude. And she was a very beautiful brunette and with blue in your hair, which reminded me of you because you always color your hair. And she turns out she was a cosmetologist too, but I couldn't tell her.

(00:32:23):
Oh my God, my wife's also a constant <laugh> because she'd be like, oh, where is she? I'm like, oh, I'm playing single guy tonight. And I can't tell you that. So I had to keep that under wraps. But so it was either a point of mutual interest or, Hey, dude, I love your hair, man. I wish I had the guts to do that. The guy was a software engineer. He moved here from San Francisco. He is a software engineer. He is got this blonde mohawk, and he is kind of goth, and she wasn't goth really, but they were both awesome. God. We sat there and talked for probably a half hour <laugh> having drinks. She was trying to drop a few pounds. She'd lost 30 pounds already. And so she was trying to drop some more. So she was only drinking clear alcohol. It was tequila in that case. But yeah, that was just,

Speaker 2 (00:33:13):
Well, then you pretty much answered the next two questions, which was what did you do while you were there and how did you engage with people? So you pretty much answered those already.

Speaker 1 (00:33:21):
Yeah, that was pretty much it. And I'll tell you the single guys, if you're listening, one of the biggest things that turns us off to you is when you follow us around and you never introduce yourself or you stare at us her June, you're probably not staring at me but you linger, but you never say hi. It's so not normal when somebody lingers around, but they never say hi. It's kind of like, what's this person doing here? And then they're like, you're going to the bathroom. And they're like, they follow you there, but instead of stopping, you're going in with you. They just continue on to the other restroom where they turn around and it's like, what the fuck was that person doing that happened a week or two

Speaker 2 (00:34:04):
Ago where they sit on the couch and they're eyeballing you the whole time? And then I have to tell John, Hey, can we go somewhere else? Because this dude's totally just now it's okay. Look, I don't mind being checked out. It makes me feel nice. But here's the thing, when you don't fucking blink, that's creepy. Blink

Speaker 3 (00:34:25):
Motherfucker, <laugh>, blink. Blink, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (00:34:28):
It's creepy. Don't just stare at me. And you're just like, fucking not blinking.

Speaker 1 (00:34:34):
And you know what that dude could have done, and I know who you're talking about. That guy was waiting on his lady who was hot by the way, to come out of the bathroom. He could have walked up and said, Hey, my wife just went in the bathroom. I saw you just come out. Well number one, introduce himself to me first. Hey, so-and-so your name. And I'd say, I'm John. This is my wife June. He's like, Hey, I just noticed, you know, guys are standing here. You're a couple just like us. Your wife just came out of the bathroom. My wife just went in. If you want, I can introduce you to her on the way out. But hey, have you all been here before? Is this your first time at the club? Or he could have just been normal, but because he wasn't, you were like, I want to fucking move. And this is the lobby, this the safe. If the club had a safe place, this is the green zone, this is it. Now the cult club is safe. There's bouncers everywhere. No worries. But this is the most well lit, comfortable place in the club. And it's like even there, you were like,

Speaker 2 (00:35:37):
Let's move, let's go. Yeah. And I think you were confused at first. And then afterwards I was like, no, no, no. He wasn't blinking. He would just stared and didn't fucking blink like

Speaker 1 (00:35:49):
A reptilian.

Speaker 2 (00:35:49):
And he would just look at me up and down without blinking, and I'm up and down, up and down, up and down, not blinking.

Speaker 1 (00:35:55):
So again, that's fucking weird. Don't do that, guys. You give us all a bed, Amy, and make us all look fucking stupid. It's okay to stare, but at least just walk up and say hi. Most people aren't going to get mad at you for saying hello.

Speaker 2 (00:36:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:36:11):
And if you don't have a chance whether, anyway, then what the fuck do you have to lose again? I think most of the weirdness that single guys give off in lifestyle environments and events, I think it comes from anxiety and insecurity. I think that's where it comes from, whether they know it or not, I think that's the seed of it. The problem is when they don't find a way to deal with it that works for them individually, then they just keep coming off as a creeper. And I was constantly asking myself, okay, I feel kind of odd here. I'm just sitting at the bar, I'm looking around at people. Who should I go say hi to? Am I coming off as a weirdo in any way that we accuse single guys as coming off as weirdos because I might be doing it and not realize it. I was constantly asking myself that question.

Speaker 2 (00:37:10):
Oh, here's a good one. What happened that caused you to decide to leave? Oh

Speaker 1 (00:37:17):
God, I did not expect this audible to be called. Something happened where I was like, I think, no, I don't think I'm leaving now. Now here's the thing. I didn't have to leave. I chose to

Speaker 2 (00:37:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:37:38):
Now, oh, another thing. Hold that question. This is kind of funny, A funny thing that happened and we won't disclose who or what club or whatever, because I wouldn't want anyone getting in trouble, but I'm always with you at the club. Well, as a guy at this club, there's like a dress standard, not a dress code, but a standard. Well, I've worn that shirt before that says, I'm here to fuck someone's wife.

(00:38:09):
And again, it works every time I wear it, which is kind of funny because we both get to end up having fun. But one of the bouncers came up to me and he said, and he knows us. They all know us. There we're regulars. They know us. He goes, Hey is your wife coming tonight? And I said, no, it's just me tonight. He goes, okay, well single guys are required to wear a button on's, shirt, shirt. I'm wearing a T-shirt. I go, shoot. I go, I looked him in the item. I'm like, oh shit, I don't have one. And he looks me back in the eye and goes, I know. And then he walks away. So I'm like, oh, he didn't throw me out. He didn't tell me I had to leave. And I think the only reason that happened is because we kind of have equity with those people. Now, I did have a brown leather jacket I wearing because it's cold outside, so I could have went and put that on I, and they saw me walk in wearing it, but he actually let it slide. And I was grateful for that. He didn't have to do that. Again, I'm not saying who where, whatever doesn't matter. But that was a big testament to if I would've been a creeper weirdo, that everyone who works at the club knows as a creeper weirdo where they think I'm just off,

(00:39:39):
They could have legitimately told me I had to leave because that's against the rules. Well, I didn't know that I could wear if I'm with you, but if I'm not with you, if I'm there alone, I can't wear that. Well, I'd never been to the club without you, so I didn't know that because you're always with me. And the rules are different at this particular place. And I actually like the fact it's that way. Me too. Some people don't, but I do. We do.

Speaker 2 (00:40:04):
But because that means you actually have to try. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:40:08):
So anyway that was one thing that happened that was interesting. And I, I'm grateful. It's funny because one guy, I met another guy who's in there, who's a single guy, and after we got to talking for a minute, he's like, dude, how the hell did you get in here wearing a t-shirt? I'm like, well, I'm normally here with my wife. And apparently when I'm with her, it's okay. Well, I've never been here by myself. And so we've been coming here quite a while. They know us. I think they gave me some grace equity is what I may have said. They were a little gracious with me tonight. It was kind of funny because he kind of rolled his eyes. He was kind of pissed off. I was surprised at how visually kind of frustrated he was which why do you give a fuck, dude? I mean, well,

Speaker 2 (00:40:55):
You wish he could wear a t-shirt too. Instead of trying to try.

Speaker 1 (00:40:58):
I only did it because it was part of my experiment. I only wear that shirt when I'm like, I wonder if it's going to work <laugh>. Like when we go to our first hotel takeover whenever we do that, we've never done one or a swinger resort. I'm wearing that fucking shirt every

Speaker 2 (00:41:12):
Day and I'm going to wear it with you. I'm going to wear mine.

Speaker 1 (00:41:16):
Yeah, you'll wear yours. I'll wear mine and we'll have a lot of fun. So anyways, your question was though you asked

Speaker 2 (00:41:24):
What happened that caused you to decide to leave? Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:41:29):
This was unexpected. Most people in the don't want to be found out. Some people don't care. They come from families where nobody would give a shit. It wouldn't affect their career or whatever. We come from a very religious background and we're not religious anymore. And this guy didn't see me, but I saw him. I saw a guy who I recognized from a church men's group I was a part of seven or eight years ago, and I was like, what the fuck? Now, my first thought is, our defense is always this. We talk about this. If we see anyone we know there, Hey motherfucker, you're here too. Exactly.

(00:42:15):
But here's the difference here. I chose to go to the locker, grab my stuff and leave at that point. And here's why. If you would've been with me June, I would not have done that. It would've been, fuck it, you're here. We're here. How about not saying anything? And we won't expose you and don't expose us. Don't talk about it. Thing is I don't trust humans because you tell one person, they'll be like, oh, I won't tell nobody. But then they tell people. But they just tell 'em not to tell 'em that. You tell 'em. Now everyone knows, but nobody's saying anything. Yep. So the thing is, I've had in my past, I had a lot of very good strong influence in the faith community and with this, I mean nationally but with this guy, it was within this particularly prominent church. And the thing about that community, one of the things is you can do everything and people admire you and they look up to you.

(00:43:24):
But if there's one thing that goes against what they believe, everything you ever did gets slashed. You become the black sheep. It's a black guy. Oh yeah. Oh, you're a swinger. Or Oh, she's bisexual or whatever. And my big fear has always been this. It's not people finding out about us. Fuck them. I know they don't understand shit. And if they either don't understand us or they want to try it too, but they can't, and so they want to hate us and for stepping out and doing it when they didn't have the guts to do it themselves. That's a very common thing, by the way, when somebody's jealous of you. But I'll leave that right there. But my biggest fear over the years has been all the good that I've had, the influence, the good influence I've had in certain people's lives of what I do, that if there was one thing they found out about me that good influence I had in their lives would be negated, it would be made obsolete. I can't think of the word I'm trying to think of. It would all be undone.

(00:44:36):
Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but that's always been my fear. Yeah. No, I, I've never tried to live as somebody perfect. I like shit. I live myself, my life so publicly imperfect. People criticize me for shit, but I'm not going to act like I got all my shit together if I don't. Because that's just lying to people. And that's making an image of yourself that just isn't fucking real. Anyway, I say all that to say, my fear was what if this guy actually ended up telling somebody, because this was the last Friday night that I would be going to this club the last Friday. Because as of this episode, June and I are moving across the country to a new location. It's not a giant metroplex mega city here in America. It's not one of the major cities in America. It's a much smaller place. And it sort of reminded me of, if you've seen that movie point break with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze, who plays Bohi, the Bohi Safa. Oh, good movie. You

Speaker 2 (00:45:42):
Have a t-shirt?

Speaker 1 (00:45:43):
I do.

Speaker 2 (00:45:44):
And he dressed up as him one

Speaker 1 (00:45:45):
Year. I dressed up as him and I literally carried my 12 gauger on the He was awesome. And it was unloaded, don't worry. No,

Speaker 2 (00:45:52):
It was at our Halloween party, but inside the house. But

Speaker 1 (00:45:55):
Yeah, till we went outside. But anyway, so in that movie, and I, you'll see where I'm going with this. In that movie, they, they've hit four or five bank robberies, rolling in cash in. One of the guys is like, Hey, we have enough to live the rest of our lives in a non-tradition country. No one will ever catch us. But bode's a rebel. Bode's an extremist. Patrick Swayze's character Bode. And he is like, yeah, but there's one more big heist. This is the mother load. This 5 million here is 6 million there. This is going to be 150 million. We'll split four ways or five ways. Well, so he's getting greedy. Yeah, it's that last one. And there's something about that last one and stories like that, that sort of fuck the characters <laugh> because they wouldn't just walk away. They had to push the envelope. And that's the one that brought 'em down. It didn't go according to your plan. A couple of 'em died. They got fucking shot.

(00:47:00):
It was the end. It was the end. And it was like the last time they did something that they'd been doing, it was the very last time they did it there that they got found out. Cop, everything went to ship. So for me, it felt like that kind of, when I saw this guy recognized, I'm like, we've been coming here seven months. We're literally about to move across the country. Nobody ever knew. Nobody we know would ever know that we were there. We're literally moving in six days. This is my last time here. And I see a guy I recognize and I'm like, is this the undoing now? He didn't recognize me. And here's how I know, because of how I know the guy. If he saw me, I know he would've come up to me. I know he would've said something, but, Hey man, I didn't know you were here.

(00:47:52):
I didn't know you hung out here. They'd be like, yeah, we're VIP members at their swinger's club. And then he is like, where's your wife? It's like, oh. Then there's that discussion because I'm not really a single guy and I'm not really here without her consent. She knows I'm here, but all that. So I know he didn't see me, but I saw him. And there was something in me that kind of panicked. And I know it sounds maybe a little bitch kind of thing, but I was really afraid that my last time there, one of my last times there, trying this social experiment that if that was the one, what if that was the last big heist from Point and Brink that went to shit of all the times we'd done this, it was fine, but then it was the last one that bitchy in the ass.

(00:48:36):
And any undoing that could be done in people's lives, who would end up hearing about it. And again, not that he would even tell, he probably wouldn't, but I don't know that. And so that's what really got me. And so I went to the locker. I grabbed, grabbed my bag and my jacket and I decided to leave. And the thing is, I was getting pretty bored. This was 10 30, which is early. There was still, the line was starting to grow outside a little bit. It was starting to cook off, but I was pretty bored without you there. It was work the whole time. It was not enjoyable. If I was a single guy in the lifestyle, I don't know how much I'd go there because it feels like work. So single guys, I empathize with you on that. Like it is work for you, and the odds are not ever in your favor. It's way more fun if you have a lady with you or I have you, June, we go to the together. It's a way better experience.

Speaker 2 (00:49:41):
One says, looking back on it, how was it to act as a single guy at the club instead of being with me or another lady? I think you kind of answered that just now. I

Speaker 1 (00:49:51):
Kind of did in my ranting.

Speaker 2 (00:49:52):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (00:49:53):
It was work, which is okay, but I'm kind of an extrovert. I don't mind talking to people. I, I'm in front of people for a living a lot. And so I don't personally mind that a lot of people who may be more introverted this might be way harder for them just based on how they're different than me in this aspect. But excuse me, if you have something to say that's an icebreaker that you found. Hey, that's a good question. I would walk up and be like, one of the things I would say was, Hey, hey hey, I've never seen you all. I've never seen you here before. And I'm John is this your first time here? And they'd be like, oh no, it's been coming here five years. Or we come here once a month. And the thing is, wasn't asking 'em one answer questions like, Hey, do you come here often?

(00:50:59):
Yes, no. I was like, Hey, how long have you been coming here for? Oh, we is our first time or a few months. We've been coming here a few months. Or I would ask 'em like, Hey, what do you like? Hey, I'm curious. Everybody gets into this thing from their own direction, what do you like most about this club? What do you feel? What feeling or what attracts you most to this club? Or what do you love most about this club that ke that you keep coming back? And then I just be quiet and they tell me what they love about the club. I'm getting to know, and that's ammo. Ammo for me where I can talk to them about other, other things that they're mentioning as they're telling me. So I'm not having to do a whole lot of work. I just got to do the initial thing, which after you do that a few times especially if they look at your shirt and they fucking love it and they're laughing at it and you're like, Hey, door's open, get in there. So I kind of preempted it with that t-shirt as well.

Speaker 2 (00:51:58):
Would you do it again?

Speaker 1 (00:52:02):
Would I do it again? Would I go undercover, single guy again into a swinger club environment with you? In my life, no. It was way less fun. It was way more work. Being a part of a couple, you and me, we totally have the advantage. It's way easier for us. The dynamics are different with other couples. I think we have a far greater opportunity to make friends and play and have fun with people that as a single guy, I probably would not have. So without you in my life, I might hang around every now and then because I want to be around these like-minded people. But as long as you and I are together, I have zero interest in going to a club or event without you because it's like, it puts me at a disadvantage and it makes it more work for me. And I generally just don't enjoy myself as much. I enjoy being with you. I enjoy dancing with you, drinking with you, watching you play your tits out on the dance floor and

Speaker 2 (00:53:07):
Or dance on sage.

Speaker 1 (00:53:09):
Yeah, they're dance on stage or you and me making out with a hot lady on the dance floor together and then having fun later. Yeah, that that's happened multiple times. Yeah, it's, that's way more fun than being the single guy trying to break the ice and break through glacier with a fucking ice pick now. So I understand why single guys I understand. I empathize a lot with their position. Well, that's the

Speaker 2 (00:53:36):
Last question. Okay. Do you empathize more with single guys in the last style? Now

Speaker 1 (00:53:42):
I do. And here's what I found works. If you can work up the courage to talk, I think it looks like there's one more question on the back. I don't know what it says. You flip it over. What I would say to single guys is going there, being willing to talk to the guy who is part of the couple. If you see a hot lady and you're like, man, she looks real fun. Go talk to the guy and have a question to ask him or find again, find something of mutual interest. Like the guy wearing the Harley Davidson shirt instantly, I'm like, me and this guy, he and I can talk for probably five hours.

(00:54:25):
I ain't going to talk to him for five hours. That ain't my point of being here. But we can talk and banter. I'm not acting like I'm seriously interested. Hey, what color is your road glide? I got a street glide. I got these certain pipes on it, but also I'll shift the conversation and be like, so hey lady. And so whatever her name is, do you also, do you have your own bike or do you ride on the back with them? Do you enjoy that? What's your favorite place you've ridden together? I'm getting to know people. I went in there with the intent to make friends and get to know people and not get laid, even though my shirt made it very clear because that shirt actually works because some people go, some couples go there because they're looking for a second guy because the lady wants to try more than one guy at once.

(00:55:11):
In fact, you and I were playing in one of the rooms one time, one of the big public rooms. And the guy, some guy, he said, Hey, my wife's fantasy is VO two guys at once. You want to be the second guy. And he hands me a condom and you put it on me. Yep. And you were there. You was there. I was there. She was like, that was, I've never seen those people. We ain't seen 'em since. I know I'm so shallow. But it was awesome. I think it was the first black woman I think I'd ever been with. She was beautiful. She was wonderful. They were cool people. But if I was there by myself, I don't know if that would've happened unless, well, of course that couple went in there and she had that fantasy. And one of their personal intents that I could not have known was that she wants to have a second guy.

Speaker 2 (00:56:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:56:06):
Now you might have a couple single guy walk in front of you. They're looking for a second guy or a third guy or a fourth guy, because she wants to try that. And so that might be the case, but you don't know it. But your best bet is to be normal. Take care of yourself, shave, smell good, be clean. Be a normal down to earth person. Talk to 'em like you're talking to your friends. Just be chill. Just like, don't make it weird because you're nervous. Like I say, be yourself. And for some people that's great advice. Other people, it's really horrible fucking advice.

(00:56:42):
But just be normal. Ask normal questions, go there to me. Go there with the intent to get to know people, because that will pay dividends. Now, not only will you make friends if you see them again, but if they're looking to try something that involves somebody like you if they're comfortable with you, they'll ask you. Yeah. So again, I didn't go there with the intent to get laid and I didn't, and the shirt did not work. But again, I don't know. It was a fair shot at the shirt because I left so early I didn't give it time to work. And so I don't know but I was very clear in a very funny way, and it got me lots of attention. So yeah. Then there's that. What's the oh, okay. I don't know. Is that last question? Okay.

Speaker 2 (00:57:33):
No, it's not a question.

Speaker 1 (00:57:35):
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (00:57:37):
It's just reminding them of my only fans, but we already did that.

Speaker 1 (00:57:40):
Oh, okay. Yeah. Go check out our only fans. You want to see a hot mama? You got that Mil money. Mil money. We've been listening to Fur week. Mil money. Ooh, June just walked up to me. She's sticking her big boobs in my mold. Well, my mouth up against the microphone. Oh, she has purple. She has purple nipple studs in. They got purple on the ends. It feels so good. Oh, wow. I love it when the girl drinks. Oh my God, you're so hot. Ah, you're welcome. Oh my God. Where were you 12 years ago? Where were you? Most of our marriage. I'm so glad we found you and the lifestyle together because you're so fucking hot. So were you, well, all that to say again. You want to see what she looks like? Go check out June's only fans. It's the first link in the show notes. I think we're going to turn this off. And <laugh> relations might take place. <laugh> relations. I love you. Love you too. All right. Anything else? Aye, that was me smacking her. Bare ass.

Speaker 2 (00:59:10):
I like

Speaker 1 (00:59:10):
It. Any other thoughts, thoughts, words, anything? Nope. Okay. Nope. Well, this was my social experiment doing undercover. Single guy at a swinger's club. I

Speaker 2 (00:59:28):
Will not be doing undercover single lady.

Speaker 1 (00:59:32):
Yeah, no, I'm good. Oh, there's like a gang bang every time you go and you're the centerpiece. Yeah. It's a little different when you're a guy than a lady, but either way, just keep wrapping both your hands around it and swallowing like your wine glass says <laugh>. Hey, we're grateful for all of you who listened to this again. Yeah. Leave us a rating, review. Send us your email with a question. Yeah. We don't know everything, but we've been married a long time. Happily. And yeah, we enjoy growing this community of listeners just like you. Yep. And yeah, that was my story of going undercover, undercover, single guy at a swinger's club. And it was definitely different. And I understand a little more the struggle that single guys go through, but hopefully you'll take some of these tips that I gave, that I found work for me, and you'll implement them into your own life to make your single journey easier. Yeah. So then there's that. Keep swinging for the fences, baby. You got?

Speaker 4 (01:00:36):
Yes, I do.