New Swingers Podcast

33- How to Easily Meet Other Swingers If You Live In A Small Town (Plus Your Swinger Q&A's)!

April 06, 2023 John & June
New Swingers Podcast
33- How to Easily Meet Other Swingers If You Live In A Small Town (Plus Your Swinger Q&A's)!
Show Notes Transcript

Lots of people are curious about exploring the swinger lifestyle, but don't live near a big city.  So how exactly can you meet and connect with other swingers if you live in a small town or far from a big city? It's a LOT easier than you think. Simply CLICK HERE to easily view & connect with other like-minded swinger couples in your area in the next 24 hours or less, GUARANTEED! (Yup, no BS. It's actually true). Connect with others today so you can evolve in your sex life together and enjoy it more every single day. Just CLICK HERE!

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John. And I'm June. And today we're going to talk about going from big city swinging to small town swinging. Yes. How do you do that? Because we recently, some of you have emailed us and we are, we're grateful that you've noticed, but we've been out for a few weeks and we haven't posted and we've been getting emails. Are you all still doing the podcast? Yes, we are. We're honored that you would take the time to write us. Yes. Or even notice that we took a few weeks off of hiatus because we were moving across the country from one end to the other. Yeah, it was busy. I never want to do that again. No, but we want to talk about, as always, like this is our whole podcast in case you're just new listening. This podcast is a journey of us getting into the lifestyle and what we learn and what we're doing along the way and the hurdles we're overcoming, the issues we're running into, because we never really felt like, I mean, there's a ton of great podcasts, swinging podcasts out there, but we didn't feel like any of them were directly answering a lot of the issues we were facing in the beginning.

(01:11):
And so this podcast is simply us documenting our journey. We've been married for almost 20 years, and so we have a lot of successful relationship advice we can give. Not necessarily a swinging advice because that we're new to that now, but we're documenting our journey here and taking you along for the ride, hoping that what we learned can help you as well if you're in the beginning stages of swinging as a couple. So yeah, we just went from big city to small town and it's way different, way different. And I think most people probably don't live near a huge city. So it's kind of cool that we're getting to experience both sides of the coin. And some people might wonder, why would you move from a big metropolitan area with so many hot people and the lifestyle? Well, there's this place in the Midwest we've had our eyes on for years, this particular area, and we got a chance, we had an opportunity.

(02:12):
We either had to take it or not take it. And again, we fucking took it. We fucking took it though our friends in the lifestyle, that's very important to us. It's brought us closer together. We met some amazing people. We enjoy ourselves. We're learning and evolving together sexually every day. This was an important piece of our life that we had to make. We miss our friends dearly. The hardest part, the hardest part about leaving where we lived for almost a decade and a half wasn't anything except our friends and lifestyle that we're going to miss. Oh my God, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's the only thing we missed about that place. It is. It really is. So yeah, totally. But now we're getting to take some of our own advice that we posted previously because if you go down in the show notes, there's a free pdf.

(03:01):
It's like two pages. It's called Swing Easy. It's the three easiest places to meet other like-minded swinger couples online in the next 24 hours. Guaranteed. Yeah, it's a just three or four websites where other Springer couples, whether they're brand new or highly experienced, they all get together. They mingle, they talk, they connect, and you can find people just like you who either can help answer questions or they're new you and you know, relate to 'em on that level. And so go down on the show notes to where it says Swing easy, connect with other couples, or you can just go to new swingers podcast.com. It's right there on the front page, the big yellow button. And do that. We've actually been using that ourselves, the resource we created, and we're having quite a bit of success with it. And so in today's episode, and I'm going to stop talking so much, one of the biggest criticisms we get, I've read a few reviews, is John talks too damn much. And I do, and usually I'm drinking vodka, so I even more don't give a shit. But today I'm actually not. But yeah, I do talk a lot. I You

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Do. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
And that's something I've actually worked on for years and we're getting better at it. Yep. I'm getting. But yeah, go get that swing easy. It's a free download. Yes. It will put you on an email list. You can unsubscribe automatically at the bottom if you don't want to get updates from us of new episodes or new resources that we can give you. And that's just our way of trying to help you. So we don't want your email address if you don't want to give it. We're not into that spam and all that shit. But today, before we get into big city swinging to small town swinging and our advice on that and a little bit of our experience, we want to go over some emails from you, and June is going to kick it off guys. Have you found it difficult to get and keep an erection while at lifestyle events?

(04:54):
If so, you're not alone. And it's common, the new environment and the distractions can contribute to a lack of erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need it the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle and it was super frustrating, but don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of FDA-approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
This one says, should I? So in a relationship, and he has been in the lifestyle, wants us to take it to the next level. I'm open but skeptical. I was married and in a loveless relationship for 17 years and recently divorced. Our sex life is amazing. I want to share this with him, but everything I've been taught tells me otherwise I, I think I am ready, but very nervous. I know I'm stuck in my head about what I think love is and question why you need other partners. Any advice? Oh gosh, that sounds just like I did.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
And this is coming from a lady in case no one picked up on that. So this is from a female part of a relationship. Yep. Well, you kick it off. You said you related to that. Tell us about that. What do you relate to and what are your thoughts?

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Well, I'm not in a loveless marriage.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
That

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Would be really hard. John and I have loved each other and have been married for almost two decades, and we joined the lifestyle about nine, 10 months ago. But I relate to the part when she says, I get stuck in my head about what I think love is and question why you need other partners. I think it was never like, why do you need other people? For me, I think it's been more of just like, because I was taught and grew up in a very religious household that you just don't do that. You don't fuck other people. You don't do shit with other people unless it's your spouse. So for me, it's been a lot of getting out of my head of like, it's okay to let your husband explore with other women. It's okay if I want to explore with another woman or a guy because I'm bisexual. So I like both. And that took me a long time to just even say that out loud. So I guess I just related to it because that's a lot of my issue has been getting out of my head because of the religious background I grew up in my whole life.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
You had psychological conditioning to the nth extreme degree. Yeah, one way.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
And they say the whole thing is like you said, well, you shouldn't do that with anyone but your spouse. Okay, we get that. That's fair. That's not bad advice. That's one way of doing it. Yeah, that's one way of having a relationship. And there's other ways that work too. But let me ask you this because I do see a few things in here. One being stuck in your head, you're, you're not supposed to do this as far as far as how you have a sexual relationship with somebody. Most of us, like you said, we're taught there's a certain way, well, let me ask this. Do the churchy people you grew up with, do they tell you what sex positions you can do with your husband or wife or your partner? Do you let them dictate if you do oral sex or not? Do you let them dictate what positions you get to have sex? Because if it's the same as June, well you're only supposed to do that with your husband or who you're with. Okay, well, we are doing this together. So it's like, well, whether we're playing with other people together or it's just the two of us in different sex positions together or doing different things sexually together, we're doing it together. And so I would just kind of question that and think about that. Nervous is normal.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, I'm nervous every time John is not. I am every fucking time. Even the other day when we met a brand new couple, I was nervous and he was excited and I'm like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Well, we just met for drinks,

Speaker 2 (09:43):
But I was nervous just meeting new people.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
And I think that's maybe just a personality difference. And I love sex and I love meeting hot people, so it's like I really don't see any downside. I just go for fun and whatever happens, happens. And here's this thing too. The person in this email, she says, I know I'm stuck in my head again. That's very normal. Most women, I think we meet in the lifestyle say that. And it happens to guys too. I hear more of it from women just in my experience. That's only my experience. Maybe that might be different than yours, but she says, and then there's the question, why do you need other partners?

(10:26):
The first thing is we don't need other partners. No, at all. If we needed, we got into this to explore it for the excitement of it more as icing on the cake, we're the cake, the salad foundation. This just spices things up every now and then because it's exciting. It's not that we need other people. We no, if we never did this again, we would still have amazing sex life. And so it's not with our experience, we don't come from a place of our sex life is lacking, no or not enough. So we need other people to come in and fill the gaps. Not at all.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
No, not at all.

Speaker 1 (11:08):
Now we're good to go. We just like having a little extra fun every now and then. The more we get into this and baby step into the lifestyle, we evolve. I think that's a good way to put it. I think everyone sort of evolves in the lifestyle if they stay around it.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Well, yeah. I remember we first, we were just talking about this earlier, but I remember when we first joined the lifestyle, I only wanted to try things with a woman. I didn't want to try anything with a guy. I had no desire. Yeah, I'm attracted to guys, but I didn't want to try anything with a guy.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Why do you think that was?

Speaker 2 (11:46):
I really don't know. I guess. I mean, I really, I don't know. I think I just

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Know.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
I honestly don't know personally for me, why I think, okay, I don't know. I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
I think because of your past with sexual trauma as a child concerning men or involving men because you were abused as a child. Yeah. I think women, well, one, you had the attraction, so that was there. But two, I think women were a safe baby step into things. It was safe to explore, safe enough. And then as you did that, you realized, oh, well, that wasn't as scary as I thought. Yeah. Then you took a few more baby steps and tried something else and you realized, oh, that wasn't as scary as I thought. And then you took a few more big steps, and it's just gotten to the point, the evolution of the baby steps were, oh, well, we've been around enough guys with couples and we've done a full swap a couple times or something involving another guy. And there was literally nothing wrong with that. It was totally safe. It wasn't risky. And now you're like, oh, well, I would like John to have you and another guy at the house with me, or I would love to have you and three or four other guys gang bang me. Yep. You, you've evolved to that point. Yeah. A year ago, nine months ago, you would've been, would've said, fuck no, there's no chance. So you just grow at your own pace with this stuff, and there's no finish line. Yeah.

(13:14):
You just enjoy it and grow and evolve along the way. But the thing is, with our relationship, we're secure. I'm not doing things with other ladies because June's not enough. She's way more than enough. But man, you put some icing on top of that cake, aka like another beautiful woman, and oh my God, this just got even better. It just does. And everyone has their thing. That work gets better. So I hope that helps. This lady, we're really sorry to hear you. Were in such a loveless relationship for over a decade and a half. That's awful. I hope you find what you're looking for. And in our experience, the lifestyle doesn't fix problems. If you have problems, wouldn't, we wouldn't recommend it, but it can teach you about yourself and it can teach your partner about themselves. And as you grow together, learning about yourselves and each other in this way sexually and discovering parts of yourselves you never knew, that often brings you closer together and makes it more enjoyable and actually strengthens your relationship. That's only our path that we've realized. There may be others, but we had another couple who's been in the lifestyle five or six years the other day, tell us that's exactly what brought them closer together. Because most people think it's going to break you apart, and it can, but it's that process that I just said. That's what actually has brought us together and made us even stronger than we already were.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
Well, and I think it has to do with boundaries. If well, like number one, if you already have a bad marriage, okay, fucking don't do this shit then. But if you have a good marriage, but you have boundaries in place, that those boundaries probably evolve also. So I just think evolving together and growing together in it and just staying on the same page and making sure that you're communicating clearly the whole time is what's important. I think so. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:11):
Alright, next email. This one's two pictures I screenshotted. Okay. Yeah. And when you go to the next one, it actually, where's the one that says soaking wet ends? A soaking wet. That's where the next one starts. Just so when you're reading it, it starts here. See?

Speaker 2 (15:31):
Okay. I'll point it

Speaker 1 (15:32):
Out. Okay. I screenshotted these on my phone, so I'm showing you where the screenshots where one ends and the next begins.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Okay. So it says, here's my story in question. First of all, in all caps, thank you. Thank you for having your podcast. I found it at the perfect time. Well, you're welcome and thank you for listening. This question is probably more for June, but John, your feedback is always great as well. I have always been intrigued about lifestyle, living, soft swap or parallel fun with another couple. My biggest fantasy has always been my wife being orally pleasured by another woman, or possibly even my wife orally pleasuring another woman, I mean another man

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Watching your lady with another lady that is definitely hot.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I have had several casual conversations with my wife of fourish years now about her and only her being pleasured by another woman. I honestly just want to experience female on female sex and who better experiment it, experience it with. But my beautiful wife, I sincerely do not want to have sex with another, with other women. All I want is to watch my wife have an amazing orgasm by another woman, and my wife is a Squier, so Oh my gosh. Would that be the best?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Yes, would.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
My wife says that she wouldn't be interested, but what has me questioning that is that when we watch porn, we typically only watch female on female porn, and then my wife watches that. She ends up soaking wet

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Sound familiar from you in the beginning. Yep. I'm just saying. Yep. Keep going.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
And I'm talking many, many times more wet than when we have sex or if we watch male female porn. So my question to June or so, my question to you June, is am I taking it the wrong way by thinking that my wife would love that experience, but she feels very awkward to even agree with me. So maybe I'll read through all of it and then I'll go back to the questions.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
Well, actually,

Speaker 2 (17:50):
Actually, or do you want

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Me to stop? Let's answer that question

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Right there. Okay. So my question you, and we'll continue you. Am I taking it the wrong way by thinking that my wife would love that experience, but she feels very awkward to even agree with me, man, that could totally be the case. She could totally just not be ready to admit that that's how she is, because that's how I was for a long time, a couple years, so literally two years probably, that I wouldn't even admit that I was bisexual or that I had an attraction to a woman. But John says all the time to me, your body don't fucking lie. So if she's wet and soaking wet by watching girl on girl porn to me, I mean for me personally, that's an indication that that's there.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Well, she might have a psychological hangup. Again, June grew up very religious and she was taught you're not supposed to be that way. That's not okay. So maybe she's just denying her body and or what's really in her mind, what she really wants is she could do what she wants. And there is a difference also between fantasy and what's hot and actually doing something. Sometimes the fantasy is hotter than reality. Other times you do the fantasy and it's even hotter than the fantasy was. Yeah, because it's real. So there's a couple directions this could go depending on who she is. Yeah. This reminds me exactly of you June in the beginning, but it was the mental psychological hangups about who you're told you're supposed to be and how you were told you're supposed to be. And you had, I mean, 38 years ahead and that pounded into your head since the day you were born. So of course, that might not be the easiest thing to work through, but you did.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
I did. But it took a couple years of me just finally loving me for me, loving myself,

Speaker 1 (19:50):
And I did it help that I told you, I don't care what you are or what you like, I love you how you are, or however we discover you to be. Did that help you kind of open up into that as well? Because I've always told you that.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
I mean, I think so, but I really think the big huge part for me personally was when I loved myself for exactly what I am and now, and I still have a little bit to go with that too, of just me saying out loud, I'm bisexual. I still have a little bit to work through, sometimes 20 or 30% that I'm still working through to love myself fully for being that way. But I think a big part of it is I have learned to love myself fully for all that I am. Even if I was taught for the way I am is wrong, and that if anybody ever found out in my family that that's how I am, I would be, it would not be good if that found out that which is why we can't tell any of my family.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Well, what's interesting here, the email brought it up and you brought it up, why do we have a problem with how we are? She probably knows she has bisexual tendencies or lesbian, bi

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Curious, whatever.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Yeah, yeah. But who taught her that's a problem? Who taught her that's an issue if she's just turned on by things that she didn't choose to be turned on by? She obviously didn't do that or choose that. Yeah. So yeah, it goes, and this is a question in all kinds of areas of life, who taught you that you're bad for being turned on by things that turn you on when you didn't choose to be turned on by them? What's wrong with just being you? So many of us, most in society have been psychologically conditioned for years. Who you are is not okay. Now, if you're a Jeffrey Dahmer, you're a fucking serial killer. You're hurting people. That's different. But if you're just like, Hey, I like other women and I don't know why, and they're amazing. Okay, well, depending on who you ask, there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 2 (22:03):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (22:04):
But I would ask that. Just think about it. Who taught her that it's wrong and if she's watching it anyway, the lesbian porn, that's a huge indication. Again, it is not conclusive and we don't know her. But that's just

Speaker 2 (22:20):
A good indication though, that at least by curious,

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Well, that's where you

Speaker 2 (22:26):
Started,

Speaker 1 (22:28):
And then we started watching it together after you were watching it alone, and I didn't know it, and then we were finally, we're just like, do you want to try it? And it was kind of nerve-wracking for you, but we kind of worked through the idea and then found some great ladies who were literally willing to mentor you. Yeah. They're like, there's no pressure, but if you want me to be your first lady kiss, I will. And we remember her. We both made out with her that night, and then we played the next week or two with the, but it was just, she was like, Hey, I'll help you if you want me to be the person who helps you kind of discover this. And there, there's no selfish ego in it. She was just being nice.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
Yeah. So that's what I would say is that that's definitely probably in her if she's getting soaking wet by just watching that stuff. So then it says, after several drinks, and we're in the middle of sex, I

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Have, sorry, you got a frog in my throat. Sorry. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
After several drinks and were in the middle of sex, I have even told my wife that I would be okay with watching her pleasure, another man, not intercourse, just hand or blowjob. Of course, when I mentioned that she was really mind blown that I would even be open to that. Helpful side note, my wife also grew up in a fairly religious, here we go in very sheltered environment. So I have to think this is part of what is keeping her from opening up to experimenting with another couple or female. I'm 55, my wife is 45, looks 10 years younger and incredibly sexy. I'm committed beyond words to make sure that my wife has an out, has out of this world pleasurable sex life thought, suggestions, advice. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
My advice is just take it one step at a time with her. Let her evolve, be the person she can come to and talk to openly and learns that she can trust with these deepest things within her that she doesn't want to admit, but when she wants to, she knows that she can talk to you about it and that you can help advise her and support her, that that's where growth came for June.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
All right, so we next email.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Thank you guys is what the

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Subject line says actually this. Okay, so this is just two, so kind of stuck is where it starts or the next one. Okay. It's at the bottom line. Okay. Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Hello. I just found your podcast and just finished the first podcast and is all I can say.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
We are so glad to hear that and that you're getting that much value out of it. That really means a lot.

Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, thank you. My wife and I just had our first time with another couple we didn't swap or even soft swap. It was absolutely amazing. My wife has the same background as Miss June, super religious and being with somebody else was out of the question. So while having sex beside our friends, the other woman decides to kiss my wife. To my surprise, she was kissing her back.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Amen.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Fuck. I love that. As you two can imagine, my mind was blown. Of course,

Speaker 1 (25:51):
I remember the first time I saw you do that and every time you do it, it never gets old.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Then we all got up to move around and she starts eating my wife out. Oh,

Speaker 1 (26:02):
Wow. Amen. I

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Was an absolute, absolutely ecstasy. So after that night, she has been 100% open with me. Our sex life has never been better. Just the way you two were talking in the first episode, we can't keep our hands off of each other. Thank y'all for putting out this amazing content. Aw,

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Fuck. Yeah. That

Speaker 2 (26:24):
Is so awesome. I love hearing that.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
See, that's a couple that was unsure, but they broke. They tried some things and broke through. Yep. And now they're going, wow, it wasn't a big scary monster. It was actually amazing, and we want to keep doing it. Yeah. We love this. Yes. Congrats on that. Small but huge victory on your swinging journey.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Gosh. Yeah. Okay. It says, unfortunately, the other woman in this story doesn't want to take it any further. The reasoning is because she doesn't want anything to happen and we lose our friendship, which is totally understandable. My wife and I actually thanked her for being open and honest with us, and sex with is not Sex with her is not worth our friendship. So we are kind of stuck at the moment.

Speaker 1 (27:12):
And you know what that is right there? Everybody's at their own point, in their own journey of swinging, and when you cross another couple or another person, everyone's at their own point, which might be different than yours. That's what it sounds like. You're running into there and when you run into that, it's perfectly okay. Yep. Just go with what people are comfortable with and what you are. And sometimes you make friends you play with all the time. Sometimes you make friends you never play with, and sometimes you meet strangers you play with, and that's all it ever is and you don't ever get to know. Yep. That's at least what we found. Oh, we should do maybe an episode sometime on the three categories you meet. That's a good one. People in, because that's what we've found. There might be more categories, but at least at this point with our limited experience, those are the three groups of people that we know in the lifestyle. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
But

Speaker 1 (27:59):
I'm sorry, go

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Ahead. Says, I would absolutely love to go to a club, but we are both scared. One reason is because we just truly found out that my wife would love to be pleased by another woman, but she doesn't want to do anything with any guys. Okay. That sounds a lot. I was, yep. Also, I don't want to do anything with another woman because I want it to be all about her. So would a club be something for us?

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yes, and here's why. You can go, if you go back to episode one, I think was our first visit to a swinger club, one or two or three. It was like one of the first three. Just go to observe, go to hang out, have some drinks, hang out. We haven't been to every club out there, but in our experience, people are laid back and cooled. It's just like a nightclub. People hang out. Yep. It's very low pressure. People are just pretty nice in our experience. Just go to hang out and observe. It's

Speaker 2 (28:55):
A sexy environment. Just be in that sexy environment.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Just agree not to do anything and just get a feel for it. We never felt any pressure at any event we've ever been to do something we didn't want to do, either of us. And so that was actually a pleasant surprise because we just didn't know what to think or expect because we'd never been around.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Most people are in the lifestyle, are pretty respectful here and there. You'll have a guy who randomly will try to touch you, or if you say, no, I eyeball you the whole time. But most of the case has been a good experiment, a good experience for us.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
And if you're afraid like, oh, a guy's going to try to do something with me. Here's the thing. In our experience, and this is in human nature, the crowd generally, you, especially if you're a woman, the crowd will protect you. I mean, if you're doing something, you're there with your partner, your husband, whatever, and there's like a guy who keeps bothering you and you're, let's say this is extreme, they just won't go away. And they keep, and they're turning into a jerk. Just make a scene, be like, Hey, get away from us. We don't want other guys around. Will come to your rescue. And that guy doesn't want a gang of other guys kicking his ass out of there. And if you go to a club, there's probably bouncers. You don't have to yell at somebody. You just go tell the bouncer, this guy will not stop following me.

(30:20):
He's harassing me. I'm so uncomfortable. Women are more valuable to a night, to a lifestyle club than men because men are a dime a dozen, especially single ones. Women attract customers at these clubs. They'll toss his ass out and they'll blacklist his ass. And so in our experience, you have nothing to worry about going to a club. It's probably safer than a police department. You got bouncers, you got other guys. Most people are there for a good time. Well, everyone usually is. And if someone has an attitude, well, they're going to have to face the crowd. They're going to have to face the community of other people around them who will protect you as the woman. In almost every case, in our experience, we've never seen a case where that wasn't the case. I mean, if you ever see a woman getting messed with by a guy and there's a group of guys that see it happening going down, then they're going to go over there and break it up and hey, the hell's your problem. And that no guy wants to be in that position. Plus he ain't getting fucked that night either. Yeah. Because no one likes you now.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yep. The next that says, how do we let people know that my wife just wants to play with other wom women? She has no problem being watched. Just doesn't want to be pleasured by any men at the moment.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Pause. What was the question? How does my wife

Speaker 2 (31:38):
No. Tell people? How do we let people know that my wife just wants to play with other women? Okay,

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Pause. Here's the answer. Just tell them she only plays with other women. Yeah. Song advances and says, Hey, we'd like to play whatever. Are you open? You can just say, oh, thank you so much for the invitation. But I'm only into women that that's a

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Line that that's what we had to, I had to learn that line and he had to learn that line because that was me at the beginning. I didn't want to play with guys. And so I'd be dancing with a woman or whatever on the dance floor, and then they would ask, do you want to go back to room and play? And that was always what we said. Well, yes, but just so you know, ahead of time, June only plays with girls right now,

Speaker 1 (32:20):
And there was never any argument. No one ever opposed it. And everyone was fine. Even the other, if you're a guy and you're watching girls play with each other, dude, you still fucking won. You're in a room watching your lady and another hot lady play with each other. You didn't lose, even though you didn't get involved. So I mean, I've fist bumped a lot of guys as you were playing with their ladies. Yeah, we're sitting on the couch fist bumping on, dude, we got the fucking jackpot.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
But yeah, so she has no problem being watched. Just don't, just don't want to be pleasured by any minute at this moment. Thank you again. Y'all have an awesome podcast. Can't wait to get caught up. Well, thank you again. I really appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
I hope this was helpful.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
Yeah, yeah. So I'll tell you, let's stop with the emails there because we're a little over a half hour in right now. Okay. I want to talk, make sure we talk about the theme of this podcast, which is big city swinging to small town swinging. And it's our journey going from a big city to a small town and being in a lifestyle. And one thing that we don't like about a lot of other swinger podcasts, which is why we want to jump and get into this finally while engaging you through your emails and feedback, is because there are so many good other swinger lifestyle podcasts out there, great ones they're, there's a lot of really good ones. But one problem we had in the beginning was they wouldn't get her onto the topic until an hour into the podcast. And it's like an hour and 15 minutes. And so we went a little long in these emails today. So if that frustrated you, we apologize for that. But these are important questions and good content to put out because these are issues that people really face. But we do want to jump into big city swinging to small town.

(34:15):
So normally, because we've had this before, we've had people say, well, it's easy for you guys to connect. You live in this huge city that has two or three swinger clubs. And Yeah, we did. And it was easy. Hell, we were v i p members at the well after our third visit. We're like, we're going to keep, this is going to be our hangout. We already know. Yeah, let's just pay the money now.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yeah. Now, not any, I don't know of any clubs honestly, around, I think

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Within three or four hours at least, maybe downstate in the bigger city there. But

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Yeah, I was just going to say that's that we don't have, there's not any clubs around us, not anywhere recent, at least, like I said, several hours away. So now it's kind of like, okay, well, how do we meet people now that we're not in a big city where we can just go to a swinger's club

Speaker 1 (35:15):
And how are we doing that?

Speaker 2 (35:17):
So right now we're a lot of it's just being on the social media platforms we talk about in that swing easy. The pdf. Yeah, the pdf. Like

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Again, go to the link in the our, the show notes that says Meet others, meet other Swingers it, the swingy pdf. It's a free download. But yeah, we're using those links now that we created for you. We're using 'em for us now, and we created the resource and they're working,

Speaker 2 (35:44):
Especially for us, we're getting a lot on the,

Speaker 1 (35:50):
I figure forget which one it is, but they're all listed in there. But depending on your area, it can vary.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
Guess it can vary. But yeah, we're getting a lot more on this one of messages and stuff. And so we had our first hangout for wine and lunch with this couple last week, I think it was, and it was fun. So that's just having to adapt and adjust of how we're meeting people in the lifestyle now that we're not in a big, huge city.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Well, what's interesting, when we were on a lot of these swinger sites to meet people, we've always had some engagement, even being in the big city, not that had anything to do with it, but it seems like moving to this smaller town area, at least on the one platform, we've had a lot of engagement. Did you tell me the other morning when you woke up and or you're however many messages, you're like, oh, good lord, do you see all the messages on there? How many were there? I

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Think there was 16. I was like, oh my gosh, babe, have you been on the site lately? Because there's like, and he checks the messages and I'll read 'em afterwards, but there's sometimes some weird ones. So I let him handle those. And so I'm like, oh my gosh, there's like 16 messages.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, we went to bed. They're like, none. They woke up. There's 16. These are real couples. Yeah, real people. They live within probably no more than an hour of us. Some of 'em live within 20, 25 minutes. And so we're happy to see, oh, there's actual engagement. There's actual people. We've had extensive text message conversations through that site with them getting to know 'em, what they like, what they're into, just feeling things out. And we always just take the approach, Hey, we just want to meet and be friends with people who think like us. Yeah, exactly. And if it ever goes anywhere, it just organically does. If we have to force it, we don't do it if there's anything uncomfortable, we catch vibes. We interpret vibes. We don't have to know why we feel something we just do. And we either go with it and have fun or we go, Hey, that was good getting drinks with you. We got to get back to the kiddos now. Or we have something else we have to do. And maybe those people just stay friends or whatever.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
But yeah, it's just definitely different for sure. Can't just like, oh, let's go to the club Saturday and we will do whatever happens, happens.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah. Dress dressing up, going in, looking how sexy, having a good time. That's the easiest

Speaker 2 (38:37):
Way. Gosh, I missed that. I missed all my outfits I used to wear,

Speaker 1 (38:42):
But we're finding there's hotel takeovers in a nearby larger city. Yeah, I

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Look, we haven't done that before, so that'll be new for sure.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
And we've also been told by a few of the lifestyle friends we've met in this new place that house parties, earthing, and I don't think we ever went to a house party. We went to a, no, went to the club, and then we went to a

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Couple of Hotel Cian parties.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
That's not a takeover,

Speaker 2 (39:11):
But it went a hotel takeover.

Speaker 1 (39:12):
It was like, yeah, somebody rented a suite and there's like 12 or 15 of us in there, like six, seven couples, and all the ladies rode the cian and kick things off. And then before you know it, everyone's just having a great time. But yeah, like a house party. We've never done that. So people do that around here. We learn there's a nude campground about an hour from here. Now it's not a swinger campground, so you can't publicly do stuff like you could at a swing at resort fucking on the side of the pool or getting blown at the lunch table or something. But there is a nude camp, and that met, they have some pretty hot ideas about the spot they have, which we won't go into that, but when they told us what their plan was for this summer, we were just like, please call us. Let us know when you do that. We'd just love to even just show up just to see that, to be a part of it. Very creative, very hot couple. Yeah. Really, really seemed to be really cool people. We really enjoyed getting to know, gosh, yeah, we didn't just go get drinks. We thought, no, we had drinks for, we sat there for what, a couple hours at the winery.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
And then we went and had,

Speaker 1 (40:29):
We went and had early dinner,

Speaker 2 (40:32):
Late lunch, early dinner

Speaker 1 (40:33):
For another couple hours. And I mean, just really seemed to hit it off.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Super, super sweet people.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
And that that's part of the fun is that you never know who you're going to meet, who you're going to click with. Or you might even look at someone's picture and go, well, yeah, maybe not, because we've prejudged a bunch of people and we've probably been prejudged too. Now I'm not talking about this couple in particular. I'm just in general. But then you meet people and oftentimes you click on a whole nother level because you have shared common hobbies or life experiences, or maybe you both have a similar traumatic past that you never could have guessed with this person. And suddenly you feel closer to this person. You have this bond with this new person that you met because of the lifestyle. Whether they ever play with him or not is whatever. But that's happened multiple times with you. Oh

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Gosh.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
And

Speaker 2 (41:27):
Multiple times with me for

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Sure. And so it's like you just never know what amazing people you're going to meet through these sites or somewhere. And for what reason that you connect. Well,

Speaker 2 (41:40):
Yeah,

Speaker 1 (41:40):
With them,

Speaker 2 (41:41):
Definitely.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
So we got a hot tub.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
We did.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
And

Speaker 2 (41:50):
I can't wait to try it out. Yeah, we can't yet.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Yeah. We got one for at least six people getting hooked up here pretty soon. And it faces the woods. It's in the back of the house. And we live on several acres. Yes, we do. Of land and kind of the middle of nowhere. And so most of the time we'll just be you and me in there.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
Nude.

Speaker 1 (42:14):
Nude, yeah. Yeah. June has a topless rule, so I will not be wearing a shirt in the hot tub

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Just, and I'll be not wearing a top.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Calm down, ladies. I have a shirt on. Check. Check yourself. There you go. No. And she just pulled the blanket down. June's wrapped in a big white soft plush blanket. And when she said this,

Speaker 2 (42:35):
We just bought it yesterday, and I was like, oh, I need this in my life. She

Speaker 1 (42:38):
Just pulled it down. So she's topless right now. But yeah, I like the fact June has a topless rule for the hot tub, and so that'll be fun. We bought it with the thought, Hey, we could share this with lifestyle friends, soft stuff or whatever.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
And it'll be a topless rule, no tops allowed.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yep. And I didn't say that that's her, so you can blame her.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Well, because I have another lifestyle for in that, that's their rule. So I was like, that rule. I like that too. I want that in my life too.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
We need more of that in our lives.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
Well,

Speaker 1 (43:08):
In the hot tubs, kind of the same thing as the Cian. We paid 11 or 1200 bucks for that thing, but we got it. Not just because you enjoy it, but because when friends come over, it's a fun thing to kick things off, get it going to play with, to share with friends. So yeah, we very much had that in mind. We have a lot of woods on this property, and we'll definitely be making use of that. By the way, if you're not on June's only fans, make sure you click the link. I think it's the first link in the description, in the show notes for her only fans. Because we are starting to take outside hot sexual pictures and videos and post it, because now we have woods where there's nobody around. Nobody can see us, and we own the land. And so there's not going to be anybody out there. And I don't know about you, but outside sex is hot sex. Oh, here she goes again. She is so good to me.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
You're welcome. You're

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Such a good wife.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
It's who I am. It's

Speaker 1 (44:15):
Who you are. Yeah. I don't think we need to describe what just happened right

Speaker 2 (44:20):
There,

Speaker 1 (44:21):
But you can probably use your imagination.

(44:24):
We're looking out the window at the woods right now. Might need to go out there after we're done with this mal. I'm try it out. Let me get the F fogger in the chains to tie you to a tree, spank you and take pictures is the way you like it. And there's so many trees out there too. I know you can hang a hammock or tie hot ladies to trees and play with 'em because they like that you Yep, that would be me. Yep. Yep. All kinds of things. So anyway, we're just kind of rambling now, but we don't want to waste your time. But yeah, this is just a few things we've learned going from a big city swinging to a small town environment, and in the Midwest where it's being discreet is even more important just because it's a smaller population. You do see the same people.

(45:20):
One thing, this is good to mention too, our rule is kind of like, we don't want to play with anybody who's like, who lives too close to us. We're finding we're choosing people who have a half hour or more away. I think it's that old concept of, and this is a bad comparison, don't take this personal, don't shit where you eat. It's like, you know, wouldn't show up to work and be like, Hey everyone, I'm in the swinger lifestyle. Unless you're like a swinger or a porn star or a stripper that you know, wouldn't reveal these things in certain areas, other areas of your life where it could compromise those things or hurt you. And so we tend to pick, meet people who don't live real close, which fortunately for us, a lot of people don't live very close anyway. And so it's not that hard to do.

(46:15):
Definitely. But we, we've had to take that precaution just because heck, we were meeting people who live five, 10 minutes away from us when we lived in the big city area. And that kind of freaked us a little bit, even though they were real nice and we got to know 'em as friends. It kind of irked us a little bit because what if the friendship didn't work out for any crazy reason? They don't. Then it's like if they wanted to throw you under the bus or then they could, well then we could throw them back under the bus. Yeah, we could drag 'em down with us. It's like, Hey, you were there too, but we don't want to be like that. And then we find that most people are pretty discreet and respectful. It's not that somebody couldn't do that. In our experience, this might not be everybody, but in our experience, people tend to keep each other's secrets because we're all doing it.

(47:01):
We're all kind of holding it for each other, and we realize we could really mess somebody's life up if in different ways, if certain people are institutions knew what you do behind closed doors, which I think is totally fucked up. Yeah. What kind of sex do you enjoy? Is none of your jobs business or who you work for? Just in the same way that knowing your favorite sex position would get you fired. Oh, doggy. Only missionary is the right one. Are you liking doggy style? You legs over your head or you being tied to a St. Andrew's cross? Like yes. Oh yeah, she does. June loves that. But you wouldn't get fired over your favorite sex position, so why would you get fired over your favorite ways to have sex? Yeah, it's weird. But that's kind of the world we live in right now. So being small town.

Speaker 2 (47:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
That's kind of another thing we're kind of looking out for.

Speaker 2 (47:59):
But definitely

Speaker 1 (48:00):
You have any other thoughts? June, as we wrap this up,

Speaker 2 (48:03):
We missed you guys. I know. We're so

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Happy to be

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Back. Yes. So we'll definitely be back now. Now that we're gotten moved and settled in. Still got some unpacking to do, but we're getting there. Yeah. So

Speaker 1 (48:15):
Yeah, go check out June's only fans if you don't know what June looks like. Even hotter than her voice gives off because you hear her southern twining voice, you're probably like, she's a daisy Duke. Yeah, she is. And more. All right. Daisy Duke didn't have pure nipples to my knowledge. This one does. And if you want to see 'em, click on her rolling fans link in the show notes. It's the first link there. It's super hot. You can see her doing stuff every day having fun. Men and women alike subscribe to it. We get men and male and female subscribers all the time, and we think that's cool. And you can actually even message her on there. You can actually talk to her. Yep. So that's cool too. If you have questions about her lifestyle or you just want to connect with her, you can do that there. Yep. So check that out. And again, go grab that swing easy, that document down the show notes for meet Easy Ways to meet other like-minded couples, no matter where you are in the lifestyle in the next 24 hours or so.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
And give us a rating and a review as well.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Yeah. Now we're giving you a lot of instruction here. I'd like to end with one thing. We just gave you three, but yeah, just click every link in the show notes and do it.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
And just do it. Just

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Do it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
And have fun swinging.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Yeah. Have fun Swinging swing for the fences. That was so lame.