40- How to NOT Get Your A$$ Kicked! (The Astronomical Importance Of "Consent" In The Swinger Lifestyle)

You have the right to ALWAYS be comfortable in the swinger lifestyle and should never have to tolerate unwelcome or unwanted touches or advances.

In today's episode of the New Swingers Podcast, we discuss and clarify what exactly "consent" means, how to give it and get it, and how it works- whether in person or online (yes, this applies online!).

Consent to touch another person is one of the absolute utmost important things to us in the swinger lifestyle, so make sure you're aware of and very familiar with it in order to protect yourself, your partner, and others. 


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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Welcome back to the New Swingers podcast. I'm John.

Speaker 2 (00:02):

And I'm June.

Speaker 1 (00:04):

And today we're going to talk about how to clarify consent in the swinger lifestyle, how to ask for consent and confirm it because it is extremely important that anybody playing around with each other sexually in the swinger lifestyle. It is the absolute most important thing that everybody's on board and it is absolutely confirmed that everybody participating wants to participate and is good to go with that and consenting. And we're going to talk a little bit about some ways to do that that are very simple, very easy. And if there ever was an accusation of something where something had been said to be non-consensual after the fact, if you had other people in the room who maybe you're in a group play and you asked, you confirmed at least then if for some wild reason an accusation came against you of something sexual being non-consenting, you would likely have other people who would probably recall you asking if they were there. And so that's very important. It's the most important thing in the swing of lifestyle. And with a lot of people we meet, most people are pretty good. Some people have to be instructed way more than others, which kind of baffles me, but

(01:24):

That's why we're going to talk about it today because it is extremely important. You deserve to have consent and you should be asking for consent whenever you're playing with somebody.

Speaker 2 (01:35):

Definitely. For sure. Well, we miss you guys. It's been a while.

Speaker 1 (01:40):

Yes. We took a few months off in the summer. We had a lot going on.

Speaker 2 (01:47):

We did, took a break from the lifestyle for a little bit, and then we also, I had a surgery that took me eight weeks to heal from, so I was recouping from that and our kids were out for the summer. So yeah,

Speaker 1 (02:02):

That makes recording this podcast very difficult when they're in the house every single day.

Speaker 2 (02:09):

Can't really go down the stairs to do our podcast naked with the kids in the house, so they're sad.

Speaker 1 (02:15):

Oh, in the update, since you've last heard from us from our little hiatus, we built a hidden sex room in our basement.

Speaker 2 (02:25):

Yes, we did.

Speaker 1 (02:26):

And there's even a Murphy door that looks like a bookcase that covers it right up.

Speaker 2 (02:32):

And

Speaker 1 (02:33):

It's funny because we're about like 90% done with it once we got all the toy set up. We haven't quite gotten back to finishing the little details.

Speaker 2 (02:42):

Well, one toy we still have to put up.

Speaker 1 (02:44):

I know,

Speaker 2 (02:46):

But that's a easy one.

Speaker 1 (02:47):

Which one's that?

Speaker 2 (02:48):

The swing.

Speaker 1 (02:49):

Oh yeah. Drill some holes. Run some change through the holes of the beams in the house. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (02:55):

You still got to put my dick shaped gold brass, what do you call 'em? Wall hooks or whatever. But they're dick shaped and they're gold,

Speaker 1 (03:07):

So you can hang all the whips and the paddles and toys on them. Fuck yeah. They just hang on the wall.

Speaker 2 (03:13):

Yep.

Speaker 1 (03:14):

It's funny though, because if we go in there to do work, then we end up having sex and then we don't want to do any work anymore. Nope. So we kind of don't get it done.

Speaker 2 (03:23):

Well, we got most, like he said, we got most of it done, so we're like, oh, we can finally fucking hear. It's awesome. And we have a really relaxing fireplace in there and the big round bed, which reminds us of the club. We got all kinds of stuff in there. It's awesome. We'll do our video eventually of the compilation that we made of our process.

Speaker 1 (03:52):

Yeah, we could definitely, definitely do that. There's some toys. It's a very cozy area and it's not just throwing some sex toys in a room. This is a legit sex room. We dished out to make this thing legit.

Speaker 2 (04:09):

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:09):

And it's definitely a fun spot and we look forward to having some friends over sometime when our kids are not here, obviously. So keep them in sports and busy and out of the fucking house. But today we have an email from one of you. We have a lot of them, by the way, from taking this break, this hiatus, by the way, when we took this break over the summer, a lot of you who emailed us, you asked, we hope everything's okay. Are you all right? And we got so busy and we're not able to write back. By the way, nothing bad happened with us. There was no marriage breaking events or

Speaker 2 (04:47):

No

Speaker 1 (04:48):

Big blowouts really that contributed to that. It was literally, we were just busy. And so we do have a backlog of emails, so just so you know, but the one today, I'm going to ask you to read June, it's about alcohol and swinging. So just make sure you don't read that part. It's the name I'm referring to.

Speaker 2 (05:10):

Oh, okay. Hello to both of you. My partner and I are new to the lifestyle. By about six weeks. We still have yet to meet anyone. And as we talk to other couples, we adjust our profile to better define ourselves to the community and try to make our boundaries known in a positive way. The latest conundrum is drinking. My partner is sober, and I had a liver transplant several years ago. I was pre-cancerous. I can still have one or two, but I don't, I won't do more than that as far as we go. We are all about consent, which hey, that's what we're talking about today. So that's very fitting. We feel that if someone has been drinking just to get to the point where they feel like playing, we feel there isn't a clear way to give consent once someone is intoxicated. We've been listening to your podcast for a few weeks now. Vodka helps. Is your motto, I understand that having a few to relax and get loose is one thing. Have you had any situations where you felt it would be unsafe or put you and your partner at risk for sexual assault charges? Because as someone's drinking during a play session or at a club, if so, how did you handle it?

(06:38):

We're also struggling with our wording on our profile so we can explain ourselves and not put people off. We were speaking to a couple yesterday. We mentioned that we have a two drink limit during play sessions and they bailed on us, said they refused to count drinks. Any advice is appreciated. Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:58):

Well, I mean that last part, think about this. We thought that was kind of weird.

Speaker 2 (07:05):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (07:08):

These people told a couple they were going to play with that. They had a two drink limit and the people said they don't count drinks and then they bailed. So the reason they bailed may have been they want people who drink way more or who knows, it could have been one of another 10 or 15 or a million different reasons. And it only looks like they bailed because you said you had a drink limit. Kind of a weird thing. If you're going to bail on somebody because they have a two drink limit, it sounds like it may have been something else, but if not, that sounds like people you don't want to be around anyway

Speaker 2 (07:46):

And you dodged a bullet. If that is the case, obviously, why would you want to play with somebody that, oh, they have something wrong, there's a problem because you didn't drink more than two fucking drinks. Really? Yeah. So I'm with John. There might be some other things, maybe it's not that. Maybe something actually else came up.

Speaker 1 (08:04):

So as far as the other part of the email, a couple of things here they did ask. They said, we feel that if someone has been drinking just to get to the point where they feel like playing, we feel there isn't a clear way to give consent once someone's intoxicated. Well, number one, yes, you're right. If somebody is drinking, they're intoxicated to a certain extent that can impair obviously their ability to give consent. Well, we were talking before we recorded the podcast here. We are never both blackout drunk. There's only one time we were playing with another couple alone, just the four of us. And June didn't realize how much vodka she had had. And so she did have a situation where she doesn't remember most of the afternoon, and that was really scary for her. It was really frustrating. But here's the thing, the other guy was not drinking. He didn't really drink at all. And me, I had maybe one shot because it was like, I think it was one of the first times we ever played with another couple alone. So it was just the four of us at an Airbnb. And I am very protective, and so I intentionally didn't drink hardly anything

Speaker 2 (09:30):

Because

Speaker 1 (09:31):

I never wanted to be in a position where God forbid, come to find out the other guy's kind of a psycho. I wanted to have my witts about me, which ended up being very good friends of ours and one of the best people we've ever known. So that wasn't the case, but I didn't totally know that at the time, whenever you get people in sexual situations or alcohol or both, a lot of things become possible you don't expect.

Speaker 2 (09:55):

Yeah. Well, and I will chime in and say that when I have had drinks, at least maybe two shots of something, it does make me more brave. And that's why we always joke, ta ha ha, vodka makes me brave. Well, honestly, it kind of does for me. Not that I need to have it, okay, I don't need to have alcohol to play, but it does help me loosen up. For me, it's kind of like it takes the nerves way down for me. So if I'm wanting to try something with a guy or with a girl, then I feel like it helps me kind of not be as nervous about doing what I already want to do, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (10:42):

And so it does help you loosen up. But we have next to never in fact, not at the same time, at least, we've never had so much to drink. That consent with another person would be an issue. No, obviously alcohol can blur those lines. You want to be careful with that. So that's legitimate. But our opinion really is if somebody says, stop or I don't like that stop. And the other person is so drunk, they're not, well one, alcohol doesn't make it better, but two, even without the alcohol, that person's probably a big piece of shit anyway.

Speaker 2 (11:19):

Because

Speaker 1 (11:20):

For example, let's say a woman is saying, Hey, I don't like that. Stop that. And let's say a guy doesn't big fucking problem and it's not the alcohol.

Speaker 2 (11:27):

Yeah,

Speaker 1 (11:28):

Definitely. Even though the alcohol can definitely make the situation worse.

Speaker 2 (11:32):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (11:32):

All right. And so we're looking at that from all sides there. But yeah, we're never at the point where I can't imagine we could, I don't know that you and I at least could ever drink enough where we wouldn't listen to somebody's no comment or consent. And even not with consent, we're going to get into this, but they kind of touched on it in this email. Even if it's not playtime, you're not there yet in a sexual situation. You don't walk around and just touch a lady on the shoulder, she's wearing a dress, or even if she's wearing, she's fully covered. You don't just walk around to touch another person. And again, we're going to get into this consent thing, but it's funny how that's such a great segue into that. Oh yeah, definitely. But do you have any other thoughts about the alcohol thing? What would your advice be June if they're saying, Hey, we'd like to have some, would you recommend alcohol or not, or just a certain amount? What do you think?

Speaker 2 (12:37):

Well, I know for me, it helps me. It helps me, like I said, it helps me with what I already want to do. So if I'm there and I'm like, Hey, I want to play with a girl. We've only been in this for over a year now. I still get nervous when it's time to play, whether it's with a guy, whether it's with a couple, it's with a girl. I still get the butterflies. I think that's probably normal. That probably will always be the case, I'm assuming. But I do feel like maybe having a little bit is okay. I think, like we said, don't have too much. That's why I like to measure with the little silver thing. I don't know what it's called. I don't even know the term for it, but it's a little thing I can measure per shot

Speaker 1 (13:25):

Of stuff, I think it's called. It's a jigger. It's a little silver cup that bartenders use to

Speaker 2 (13:29):

Measure

Speaker 1 (13:29):

Drinks. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:30):

So for me, it's like I would go to the club and I would have, okay, I am not going to have any more than three shots, because I know that one time at the hotel I had five and that was way too much. So I think it's just finding out what a good balance of, Hey, let me just have maybe one glass of wine just enough to loosen me up a little bit where I'm not as nervous and leave it at that. Don't drink so much that you can't remember anything like me that one time.

Speaker 1 (14:00):

Yeah. Well, and remember too, everybody has their own level of tolerance based on how long they've been drinking alcohol or how long it's been since they've had alcohol. And so that's why we always did measure because we knew where our upper limits were. Typically at the club, I knew if I had three, I was good to go. I really didn't want any more. And that was either rum or a hundred proof vodka. And it all depended on whether or not we were driving home afterwards or riding with somebody because I had to make time for it to wear off before we left the club. But anyway, let's get into this consent thing,

Speaker 3 (14:38):

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Speaker 1 (14:48):

An erection due to performance anxiety at the very moment you need the most. I personally ran into this issue early on in the lifestyle, and it was super frustrating, but don't worry, there's a solution. If you use our link in the show notes and use the coupon code new n e w at checkout, you'll get $30 off your order of F D A approved ed medication from Shameless Care. So you can get hard and stay hard in the moments that matter most don't question your manhood or feel like less of a man ever again. Just click the link in the show notes right now to get $30 off before the promotion ends so you can get back in the game and blow your sex partner's mind. Click the link right now and simply use the coupon code new n e w at checkout. Let's just be really clear on this consent. In case you don't know for some reason, the word basically consent in the swinger lifestyle means you're asking permission to touch somebody.

Speaker 4 (15:40):

Yeah,

Speaker 1 (15:40):

Touch them physically. Now we have basically, here's how it is and always needs to be. You never touch another person unless you ask to touch first, and they give you a resounding, unapologetic obvious over the top. Yes. If you ask, let's say you're a guy and you ask a lady, Hey, can I touch you? And she's like, okay, that's a fucking no.

Speaker 4 (16:09):

That's a no.

Speaker 1 (16:10):

If it's not a resounding, absolute obvious yes. Oh, absolutely. Oh, that's fine, yes. Then it's a no.

Speaker 4 (16:18):

Yep.

Speaker 1 (16:19):

And that's just talking about maybe touching her anywhere, whether it's on her shoulder, not even in a sexual way, but maybe on her shoulder or on her arm or on her leg. There's that. So we kind of say there's two levels of consent, at least that I've discovered. We do. I discovered I do this. I mean, I've played with other ladies where after getting consent, consent, we're just about to go into the real sexual contact. And I go, Hey, by the way, are you still good with this? Because when you're teasing, playing flirting people, a lot of people are all into that because it's fun. But then when it really comes down, Hey, we're going to do some sexual acts. We're going to do something sexually with each other. Some people may change their mind. And so for me, at least for us, we always double check. There's always the initial, Hey, is it okay if I touch you? It has to be an absolute resounding, no doubt about it. Yes. If it's anything other than that, it's a no. And you don't, you go do something else. But then before playing or as you're starting to, it doesn't hurt to just say, Hey, by the way, I know your limits. You should have already discussed boundaries that they don't want to do

Speaker 4 (17:34):

And

Speaker 1 (17:35):

That you don't want to do. Just double check, double check and just ask, Hey, are you still okay? Can I still touch you everywhere? Obviously considering your boundaries at that point, you're free to do what you want, because think about this, you don't want somebody saying that you did something that you don't know you did or being accused or lied about doing something. And at least if you're asking for consent initially, and then before you really get into sexual contact, if there are other people around, which a lot of times in the swinger lifestyle there are other people could actually come to your defense and say, well, I remember him asking. I remember this person asking this or asking that, and that person saying, absolutely, yes. And that protects you, but also it's not a real big community. You don't want to be known as somebody who just touches without asking.

Speaker 2 (18:30):

Yeah, definitely. You don't want to be the Yeah. Or the person who gets pissed off if I say, no, I don't want to play. I'm not ready for that yet. That happened way earlier on in our journey of the lifestyle, and he gives me the evil eye the whole rest the night. I'm like, oh, no, don't be that person either, that if they say no, you fucking drop it. Don't give them looks because you're pissed off. You didn't get to play with the person, even if the person they brought is playing with your person.

Speaker 1 (19:04):

His lady wanted to play with me, but mine didn't want to play with him. And I guess he assumed me playing with his lady. She wanted to obligated mine to play with him, which it did not.

Speaker 2 (19:14):

Nope. Never does.

Speaker 1 (19:14):

And it never does. And that's a good point there too though, is that just because we're a couple doesn't mean that people should not get individual consent from each of us. Even if we go into it together and we say, Hey, we're going to play with this couple. Well, if you're not comfortable with something, if you should be seen as a separate individual person from me, even though we're together, and you should also be asked for consent for doing anything.

Speaker 2 (19:47):

Definitely. For sure. I'm my own person, so are you.

Speaker 1 (19:52):

Yeah, exactly. And so even there was the other night, there was a beautiful lady that I had an experience with, and I was there for that experience. You arranged it. You're welcome. So even though I was there for that, that's why we met up

(20:14):

While I was sitting on the couch having a glass of wine with her, I said, Hey, by the way, we obviously know why we're both here and we're laughing. I said, but is it okay that I touch you? And I won't go into details, but I just said, is it okay that I touch you? And she said, oh yeah, absolutely. We kind of laughed. And it's like, yeah, we know. I just said, Hey, who I am, I always just have to ask. Even though I know it is, I don't feel right until that is checked off. And so after that, you're good to go. But even in that situation, it's like, oh, you're meeting for that purpose still. I don't like the idea. I grew up around men who hurt women in a lot of ways, including sexually. And so maybe that's why I'm maybe so big on myself, but

Speaker 2 (21:04):

I don't think that's a bad thing.

Speaker 1 (21:06):

Definitely. I'm not perfect in a lot of ways, but I mean, it just kind of goes without saying. You don't ever want somebody doing something they're not on board with entirely.

Speaker 2 (21:18):

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:19):

There are enough people in the lifestyle. There's people for everybody.

Speaker 2 (21:24):

Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (21:25):

Yeah. And if you don't like something, just say so. And that goes back to boundaries, which I think, did we do an episode on boundaries?

Speaker 2 (21:34):

I think we have.

Speaker 1 (21:35):

I'm pretty sure we must have. Yeah,

Speaker 2 (21:37):

I think we have. It's just been a while since we've looked at all the ones we've talked about, but I'm pretty sure we did.

Speaker 1 (21:42):

And there's also an episode on getting and receiving a no. Like how to give a no and how to, if somebody asks you to play and you don't want to, different ways to say no that are comfortable and not awkward and weird.

Speaker 2 (21:56):

Also,

Speaker 1 (21:56):

How to give and receive a no. If somebody gives you a no how to react and a bunch of things, it could mean that maybe you're not thinking in that moment, so you don't get personally offended or feel bad about it. So go back and look at that too, if that's of interest to you.

Speaker 2 (22:12):

Oh, and I think just the other part we were going to say also about the in-person consent is just that if anything along the way you don't like, you just say, so if you've already double checked with the person, oh yeah, we're good to go to play sexually still along the way, if there's something, even though you should have already before you've played with these people already told them, Hey, this is my boundaries. I don't like this or that. For example, if somebody's going to go down on me, do not put your fingers inside of me. I don't like that personally. So just things like that that you don't enjoy and things that you do enjoy. Well, that should have already been discussed before you're playing with these people. But along the way, if there's something they do that you don't like, but maybe you didn't think of before when you were talking about your boundaries, just mention it. Say, Hey, I'm sorry, I don't like that. And tell 'em to stop. And they should just respect that and not do it anymore.

Speaker 1 (23:05):

Most people that we've run into most, they're very totally okay with it. There are a lot of people that don't take things personally and lifestyle, but here at the same time, what you don't want is if you're playing around for a half hour, you don't want someone checking in every five minutes. You good, you good, you good, you good. So what a lot of people do, and I've had ladies tell me this, after we discuss boundaries, they're like, Hey, look, let's just make this simple so we can enjoy it. Basically, they'll basically say something to the effect of the boundaries. So just don't cross those. Everything else is good. And if I don't like something, I'll tell you. And that way you're not wondering, is this okay? Especially if you're kind of newer to the lifestyle, you really want to make sure you're not offending somebody or doing something they're not okay with. And you're just so new to this, you don't know. But also, people don't want to have to answer a question every five minutes that they're trying to get there and have a good time. And so that's something I've often been told is just, Hey, we know the boundaries, and if I don't like something, I'll tell you. And it's like, Hmm, okay, all good to go.

Speaker 2 (24:09):

Well, and I mean the one time a few weeks ago when we were going to finally do the one-on-one M F M that I still want to try, we were going to try to do that with this person and it didn't work out, but they had other plans they didn't realize they had, but we had

Speaker 1 (24:25):

Already, it's lost.

Speaker 2 (24:26):

Yeah, big time, man. But I remember us talking about that exact thing is like, Hey, I want to be able to just say, these are the things that I like. These are the things that I don't like. And the same kind of thing applies with me. I don't want to have to, you have to ask me along the way. I'll just let you know if it's something I don't like, I'll just tell you.

Speaker 1 (24:50):

Yeah. So a lot of what we've been talking about is in-person consent. Maybe you're at a hotel takeover, you're at a swinger club or a party of some sort. You're in person. Just the not touching without asking. And then double confirming before you get into any real deeper sexual play. And then the second situation we find is not in person for consent, but online. Now we say it's common sense, but as you know, if you've been around longer than a few years, that common sense is not always that common. And so one of the ways consent is violated online is when people send you nude pictures, whether it's him or her or whatever, unsolicited, meaning you did not ask for those. They just send you a picture of his wife's ass or of his dick, which I'm still yet to meet a woman who's impressed with any of them personally.

Speaker 2 (26:00):

Nope. A dick is a dick, is a dick, is a dick.

Speaker 1 (26:02):

I mean, they're all different sizes sometimes, but they're basically, I've never met a woman who's like, I'm so glad I got that unsolicited dick pic from that stranger. I totally want to hook up.

Speaker 2 (26:14):

Oh my God, his dick is so big. Or Oh my God, it's so pretty. No, dick is pretty okay. I'm just saying,

Speaker 1 (26:22):

Well, June doesn't think so. Ladies, you may or may or may not have your own opinion on that.

Speaker 2 (26:27):

That's true. But my opinion, a dick is a dick is a dick. They all look the same, basically.

Speaker 1 (26:32):

Yeah. So she's saying basically is if you send us an unsolicited nudity of any kind, we block your ass.

Speaker 2 (26:38):

Because

Speaker 1 (26:38):

For us, that's violating consent. And you might be thinking, well, what if it's a picture of my wife or my ladies asked, well, it might be really nice, but if we did not ask for you to send us a picture of a naked person, we don't want it. Plus, if we don't know you at all, we don't. Maybe other people, they're okay with that.

Speaker 2 (27:00):

Maybe

Speaker 1 (27:01):

We're just not.

Speaker 2 (27:02):

We're just not. And that could be the case. That could be people that, I dunno. But for us, that's a definite no, that's a definite. We're blocking your ass. Next,

Speaker 1 (27:14):

Tell 'em about the other day we were on an app and there was this really hot Hispanic lady, and you thought her husband was like, eh,

Speaker 2 (27:25):

Not really. He

Speaker 1 (27:25):

Was maybe probably a five to you.

Speaker 2 (27:28):

Maybe a four. I would say a four. Four.

Speaker 1 (27:29):

But she was like an eight.

Speaker 2 (27:31):

Oh, yeah. She was really beautiful. But the dude was like, eh, you want to

Speaker 1 (27:35):

Tell him what he did with a separate

Speaker 2 (27:37):

Yes. He sent John a separate message saying, Hey, I wanted to create this separate group so that we can talk about what each other's ladies are into and send pictures of our ladies. I'm like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 (27:55):

Well, the thing is, all four of us were already in a group chat,

Speaker 2 (27:58):

And

Speaker 1 (27:59):

He sent me a separate chat to talk about what our ladies like sexually and to exchange pictures. And it was really weird because I thought, well, if your wife is okay with this, why wouldn't we just put it in the group? And plus he had just sent, no, he didn't just sent it. He sent it right after that. I didn't respond. I thought, I just going to block this guy, but I didn't. Immediately something came up. And when I came back to check it later, there's a picture of his wife's ass, which looked really nice. But the thing is we did not ask for that person was being forceful.

Speaker 2 (28:35):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (28:37):

Think about this. Here's the equivalent of online sending people unsolicited nudity, whether it's a viewer, your lady or whoever. Take the dick pic for example. Would you walk up to someone on the street and just whip your dick out and be like, Hey, or would you have your lady walk up to someone on the street and just flash them or stick her ass out right in front of people who did not ask to receive that or to see that you actually get arrested for that. It's called indecent exposure

Speaker 2 (29:08):

And

Speaker 1 (29:09):

Among other things. And you can actually be charged with a sex crime and become labeled legally as a sex offender with that kind of thing. So you wouldn't do it on the street. Why would you send that to our message box if we didn't ask for it?

Speaker 2 (29:24):

And dude, you are exactly like my top and everything, and then you fucking screwed it up by sending me a dick pic that totally was not asked for seriously. He was exactly like my top and everything. And then he just fucked it up.

Speaker 1 (29:39):

You might have a six pack, but if you're a douche bag, your six pack can't cover that up. Nope. And man, he blew his chance before he even knew he had one. But you don't do that. You don't send people things. They don't ask for you. Again, that's called consent. We did not ask for that. And if you just send it to us, and I mean, if you send something, we have to see it. We open the message and boom, there it is. And that was without our permission. And so nobody has a right to do that to you either. And again, if somebody's sending me naked women, I'm not, let's just be straight here. I'm not offended. But the problem I have with it is that it tells me more about that couple than they know it does,

(30:25):

Because that's already telling me they may possibly be the type of people who aren't real big on consent instead forcing themselves on people in some way, even if it's just a passive way. And I may be right or wrong. Totally right, totally wrong. Who knows? We don't care. We don't chase anybody. We're not desperate. We have plenty of beautiful people and friends that we played with and met and we continue to meet. And so I don't know if maybe, do you think people do that if they're desperate or they're not meeting people, or do they think it'll work? Do you think it has to do with people who just don't have very many lifestyle people in their lives?

Speaker 2 (31:07):

Well, I mean, I know on one of the groups, one of the things we're a part of online because for those of, we moved across the country, so we're not where we used to live. And so we're having to do a lot of the meeting greets that we meet with people is all basically online, not in a club near us. It's several hours from us. That's the kind of how we have to do it right now is online, different platforms we use. But I think there was two different couples that this week, just this weekend, hey, and we had chatted I think before, but all it was, Hey, we're free Friday. What about you want to play? And I'm like, dude, we haven't even met you in person ever. And it was two different people, two different couples that said that. And I was like, it could just be me. I don't know. But for me, it rubbed me the wrong way. That again, was a non-consent kind of thing. Like, dude, we haven't even met you for drinks to even know if we vibe first before we just play with you.

Speaker 1 (32:06):

Well, and here's something, June won't tell you. If you're thinking of a woman whose physical beauty is rated one to 10, 10 being the super hottest, which I never rate anyone a 10, June's a high eight at the least. And so thank you

Speaker 2 (32:24):

For

Speaker 1 (32:25):

Somebody I say at the least, I can't say you have God perfection that just wouldn't be realistic of any human, but you are at the very top of women out there. If people only knew, in fact, if you go on who only fans, the links and the notes here, you can actually see what I'm talking about. But my point is, people like June don't have a problem finding people who are interested to play. And so to write a message like that, Hey, you've never heard of us. We're just some faceless name online, want to play. I mean, to anybody that's kind of disrespectful, but especially to someone who's so as beautiful as June is, and this is me saying it, not her. That isn't going to probably work because she has lots of people who not to sound like an ass, but my wife is hot. Okay, well, thank you. And I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but she's not pining away hoping somebody will notice her. She's not in that boat, I guess you could say. I don't want to sound like a dick either there, but everybody has the body type, the beauty type they, and June is an extremely attractive mother.

(33:48):

I mean, in my phone, I don't even have your name. It just says milf because you got to have MILF money like Fergie says. But yeah, to get a message like that, it's just kind of like if you have teenagers or Gen X or millennials for kids, you'll know what the term thirsty means. It comes off thirsty. It means desperate. It's like, oh, they're so thirsty. And it's super unattractive because desperation is so, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:19):

I mean, every day on one of these sites we're on almost every day we'll get messages on that same site, and it's dudes, and there's been several of 'em. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But they have no certification. So it's like, well, that would've worked with you. There's

Speaker 1 (34:36):

Several of 'em. Yeah. Yeah. Meaning you're possibly very interested in hanging out and maybe more at some point.

Speaker 2 (34:43):

Yes.

Speaker 1 (34:43):

But

Speaker 2 (34:44):

Because they have no certifications, that makes me feel nervous, like, well, I don't know. How do you treat other people? So that makes me say, well, I don't really know if I want to do anything further because I want to know how other people see you. So if there's no certs, it's kind of like, oh, I mean, you're really hot. But I don't know. It's more than just looks for me.

Speaker 1 (35:13):

Well, yeah. And if we don't know you or we haven't seen you at a party before or crossed paths with you, or have mutual friends who can affirm you're a good person, we don't just go out and play with anybody. No, I wouldn't.

Speaker 5 (35:28):

I'm very picky with guys, especially

Speaker 1 (35:30):

You. What

Speaker 2 (35:31):

I'm very picky with guys especially.

Speaker 1 (35:33):

Yeah, and you should be. So by the way, if you're trying to find more people, we have a great free resource. Just go to the show notes where it says free resource, and we have three or four links in there of some of the most popular online platforms where you can meet people in your community, or, well, that might scare some of you just outside your community, but within driving distance maybe who are also in the lifestyle seeking people like yourself, just go down there. It's called Swing Easy, get the free P d F. It's a free download. We get nothing out of it. We don't charge any money. All it does is it gives you some of the top apps and websites where you can meet people. Literally today, you can start connecting with people in your area.

(36:25):

If you're not in a big city, that's really, really helpful because there no sex clubs in most small towns, but you can do that. And we put those links in there so you can go and get that. And all that does Also, just so you know, it will put you on our email list. However, that doesn't mean we're going to spam you when we promise. We promise you that will never happen. All it's going to do is we don't even email our list as much as we ought to. But whenever something comes up, there's something exciting, or a new episode or something we think could be helpful for you that you should know or could help you in some way. We just send out an email. It's always very short and just to let you know about something that we think could be helpful for you. And if you don't want to be on it, you literally just scroll to the bottom of the email, click unsubscribe, and you literally never hear from us again. So go get that swing easy, that free P d f, so you can connect with more people in your community and start meeting some other people who are just a lot like you and I, you and us. I got tongue twisted there. I've been making out with you so much lately.

(37:34):

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (37:35):

Well, and that's, like I said before, earlier on in this episode, that's kind of how we have to meet people now, because where we're at, we have to, that's our online platforms is exactly how we meet people now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:49):

Oh, and go check out June's only fans. There's a link right there at the top of the show notes there too. Like I said, if you want to see a beautiful woman who is the voice of this podcast, you want to put a body with a voice, I highly recommend it, and you can now subscribe. I'll

Speaker 2 (38:03):

Have some really spicy ones up yesterday too, from the fun we had in our sex room.

Speaker 1 (38:09):

And I didn't even realize what was in some of the pictures until I looked at them later and I was like, holy shit, look at that. And we won't say what that was. But if you're on June's only fans, you'll know exactly what we're talking about because Yeah. So check out, click the link and check that out if you want.

Speaker 2 (38:26):

I'll just say it's not creamer.

Speaker 1 (38:28):

It wasn't creamer, but it was in our new sex room. And even with the dark red lights, it was quite obvious what we were looking at. Yeah, just saying Pierce nipples a little bit of cream. Oh, what are you doing? God, I forgot all about that. Went on vacation for the summer. All right. The gratuitous New Swingers podcast. Blowjob. Thank you, June.

Speaker 2 (39:01):

You're welcome.

Speaker 1 (39:02):

And thank you for entertaining our listeners with your mouth. Well, it's a podcast. You're using your mouth. Anyway, we're going to wrap this up. We don't want to take too much of your time, but today we've been talking about clarifying consent. Biggest thing in person. Don't ever touch somebody unless you have their permission and you ask, and they give you a resounding absolute yes, confidently, definitely. If it's anything but a resounding absolute yes, it's a no. So treat it as such and then double check before you start getting into any sort of sexual play. And then for the online

Speaker 2 (39:43):

Fucking, don't send a dick pic or any picture of any kind without asking first.

Speaker 1 (39:49):

Yeah, pretty much. And maybe some people are just looking for people to just hook up with, and they don't really care about who they are as people. We're not entirely like that. We want to know that the people we're meeting are actually good quality people. And some of these telltale signs help us filter out people that, well, they never get to meet us. And we try not to misinterpret these things or be too harsh in our judgment. But there are certain things that to us, you don't do. And if you're our kind of people, you wouldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (40:20):

And they're for us, so it's like, no.

Speaker 1 (40:24):

Yep. And so if you have any questions about consent or anything else, and you're new to the lifestyle, you're not sure what to do about something, you're in a situation, feel free to email us at info at New Swingers podcast. Or no, I've been gone from the podcast. What's our email address? Scratch that. Oh no. It's New Swingers podcast@gmail.com.

Speaker 2 (40:47):

Good Lord. We have been out for a while. We

Speaker 1 (40:50):

Have. I don't even know my own email address.

Speaker 2 (40:53):

Repeat that. What was it again? For Real, real

Speaker 1 (40:56):

New Swingers podcast@gmail.com.