Coffee and Tea with CarrieVee

How a Small Resentment Becomes a Huge Problem

• Carrie Verrocchio

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Carrie shines a light on the silent killers of connection: small resentments.
 What seems like “no big deal” can slowly erode your peace, your relationships, and even your health. Carrie compares these unchecked frustrations to ignored physical symptoms—what starts as a twinge can turn into something far more serious if left unaddressed. And one of the most dangerous mindsets we can adopt? “Maybe it’ll just go away.”

Carrie invites you to lean into the discomfort and do the work—starting with honest, calm, and compassionate conversations. She shares practical, heart-centered strategies for speaking up before emotions boil over, including:

  • Why timing and tone matter more than you think
  • How to name the real issue (not just the surface tension)
  • The power of appreciation when addressing conflict

Unspoken resentment doesn’t just live in your mind—it lingers in your body and spirit. That’s why Carrie closes the episode with a bold challenge:
 Ask yourself, “What am I still holding on to?”—and commit to addressing it within seven days.

Because healing starts the moment you stop pretending you're fine.

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Welcome back to coffee and tea with Carrie V. I'm Carrie V, your biggest fan, the person who will believe in you until you can believe in yourself. Coffee and Tea with Carrie V is all things, confidence, clarity, leadership, communication. It is you. It is life. This is all about you. I show up every week because of you, and today we're talking about how small resentments can create big problems. It's like when you have a small sore on your body that gets a little bigger and gets a little bigger, and then you keep ignoring it, thinking it will go away. I walked into a doctor's office once, years ago, decades ago, actually, and hanging up, he had a sign, and it said, the most dangerous words in the English language are, maybe it will go away. Maybe it will go away when you ignore little problems, whether it's on your body or whether it is in your car or whether it is in your relationship. When you ignore a small problem, a small resentment, it explodes into a huge problem, that spot on your body becomes skin cancer, or that little lump that you feel becomes a growing tumor, or that that knock in your engine becomes a blown head gasket, or that small, seemingly insignificant resentment in a relationship blows up because it isn't addressed, and that's what happens when we ignore them. Maybe it will go away when we ignore them, they turn into huge issues, huge issues. We have to be willing to address the small resentments before they become a huge deal, and that can be hard, because it takes a sweaty conversation, it takes the hard conversations, it takes the conversations none of us like to have, but that's what it takes to address these small resentments before they become huge issues. I read once, I don't remember exactly what the quote was that everything we want is on the other side of this sweaty conversation that we don't want to have, but we have to have the conversation while it's still a small resentment before it explodes into a huge deal. And that can be in a relationship with your significant other, with your children, with a co worker, with your managers, with your bosses, with owners, with people in the checkout line, with people you are driving with any area of your life, any relationship, a small little resentment becomes a huge problem when it is ignored. Maybe it will go away. It won't. It won't. What will happen is it will keep growing and it will keep growing, and it will keep growing, and it will keep growing, and something that was of little to no significance was able to grow to something that could destroy and many times does. It's a slow fade. It starts with that slow resentment, and it slowly fades until, like the relationship slowly fades until it's nothing over a small, insignificant resentment. So how do we address these resentments? One, don't do it angry. Don't do it angry. Take time to think it through. Two, determine, is this actually the resentment right now? Or it doesn't remind me of a past resentment. It may be a combination of the two, but get it clear in your head what you're really addressing. So don't do it. Hang angry, be clear, and then make sure when you do address the resentment that you are saying. Hey, you know, really, really appreciate it when you fill in the blank. And I also really, really appreciate it when you fill in the blank there is something I'd really like to discuss. When can we discuss this? Or do you have a few moments? So you're sandwiching that, that resentment that you want to talk about, in with things that you really do appreciate. Kind of softens the blow a little bit. If you go in angry, that's not going to happen if you go in angry and you go in like a wrecking ball, you're going to wreck so address your anger, address the actual issue at hand, and then go in calmly and discuss it, interspersed with things that you really love about that person or that you really appreciate about that person, make sure that you're having the conversation, though, because those little, teeny, small resentments can create big, huge, gaping holes that can't ever be fixed. Small resentments are what break up almost every single relationship in the world without one small resentment grow. One small resentment grow. One small resentment grow, and pretty soon we have all of these things that are just out to destroy us. Where do you have a small resentment in your life that you are allowing to grow? Can you look back? Can you see them? Can you see one that you're holding on to right now, it's time to address those. It's time to have those hard conversations you. All of those resentments you're holding on to are not just affecting your mindset. They are affecting your physical health. They affect your heart health. They affect every organ in your body. They it affects your mental health. It affects every piece of you. So have the hard conversations. Deal with those small resentments before they become big issues, and if they've become big issues, then deal with the big issues and make sure that you are dealing with small resentments. Then as they come, your genomic prompt today is, what small resentments Am I holding on to? And when will I deal with them? What small resentments Am I holding on to, and when will I deal with them? Give yourself a specific date and not one that's three years from now this week. Give yourself seven days, set the date within the next seven days, and start to deal with those small resentments so that you can move on with your relationship in a all new way, a stronger way, and you can start to heal yourself emotionally and physically. This is so important. I love you. I am your biggest fan, and if I can be of any help with you on this journey, let me know. All right, I will see you next week on coffee and tea with Carrie V and honestly, I can't wait Bye, bye.