Small Talk With Compa
Small Talk with Compa" is where it's at, with two bros from NYC chopping it up about the grind for happiness, the hustle for meaning, and the realness of our connections. We're dropping truths and getting deep into our journeys. Tune into STWC, where life's lessons and brotherhood meets another world full of hope and prosperity. It's all about keeping it 100, sharing the love, and staying true to the game of life.
Small Talk With Compa
Haters Gonna Hate: A Survival Guide for the Chronically Awesome
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Will and Danir dive deep into the crucial distinction between toxic relationships and loyal ones, exploring how to recognize negative patterns and cultivate meaningful connections that support your growth.
Welcome to Episode Eight
Speaker 1yes , yes , yes , we are here , episode number eight . Welcome everybody . Welcome to small talk with compa . My brother william talk to me .
Speaker 2My good boy here . Well , as always , here , with my compa , the near ready to dive into another um episode . Episode eight right episode yeah , sweet , how do you feel about that amazing man , amazing and we could , we should talk about .
Speaker 1we were just talking about how the the podcast is going and little things that we can tweak , and I think we're getting better overall . I think , of course .
Speaker 2Yeah , but there's always room for improvement .
Speaker 1Definitely always room for improvement .
Speaker 2Yeah , so you know we are very critical about ourselves , Definitely . But at the same time , we are also in the learning stages of our podcast career and I think we're doing great . You know they're saying that you know in the podcast industry . You know if you don't go more than three , if you go more than three episodes , you're already making it . We're on episode eight , which is exciting . Today is going to be a great one . We're getting into the what ultimate debate of toxic or loyal .
Speaker 2Like toxic or loyalty
Costco Chaos: The Egg Rush
Speaker 2, right yeah , nice , that's a good topic right there see I guess we I mean , I'm pretty sure , all of our listeners uh have seen that I'm sure everybody has a toxic or toxic energy in their , in their world definitely experience before .
Speaker 1Before we get into that , though , I want to tell you a quick story that happened to me last last week . Uh , talk to me . So I went to uh . I went to costco here in uh , in queens , and I never go to costco . I do , but I go to costco in jersey because , yeah , it's , it's easier access and less people wait . So you don't go to costco here in the city , not in , yeah , jersey , but you go in jersey , yeah , yeah , it's , it's easier access and less people wait , so you don't go to costco here in the city not in , yeah , jersey , but you go in jersey , yeah , so you like to go to like those , like more larger well , I mean , they're about the same size what's the difference between jerseys ?
Speaker 2it's just less people . That's what it is . Okay , not by much , but I mean I get the jersey .
Speaker 1One is also chaotic , bro . I get there at 9 30 and they open that time , okay , and I'm like one of the first ones there and all of a sudden I start seeing people piling up . By the time it hits like 9 45 , there's a massive line , yeah , to get into costco . I'm like what the fuck ?
Speaker 2is it ?
Speaker 1no , the one right here in uh , in regal park regal park , okay , yeah right and obviously we all know like prices are extremely high .
Speaker 1So people go to the costco to get things and for the family to make the , to make , you know , make it more efficient to buy more stuff and they can buy more for less price . Okay , right , yeah and yeah , and obviously , to go get some eggs . The eggs are super expensive , as we all know , which , by the way , I paid 70 bucks for three packs of eggs in Costco , which is outrageous . So as soon as they open , it's just mayhem . People just start running , like forget being in front of the line . People are just fucking barging in some somebody and like pushed their car and they hit the heel of my of my toe and I'm like oh fuck that shit hurt it like a bitch .
Speaker 1I turn around , fucking pissed as hell . And I turn around and it's a fucking poor little sweet old lady like yeah , like what am I ?
Speaker 1gonna do ? What am I gonna yell at old lady ? But that shit hurt , bro , that shit would knock me down for , like it put me , I had to move aside because that shit she really went in and I guess it happened because it was . She was being pushed herself and then , of course , somebody hit her behind her , of course , and then they started going at it the old lady , and it was some dude , because he hit her and obviously nobody . I don't think nobody wants to hurt anybody , but it was just madness . It's just everybody runs to the fucking uh to get eggs , yeah , like literally running to get eggs . That's crazy . You should have seen it . It was fucking . I've never seen something like that .
Speaker 2Like , it's just eggs . Well , you know , it could be a lot of reasons why people just start running for eggs . I know it's expensive , but I'm pretty sure there's other people that do it for their business .
Speaker 1Yeah , yeah for sure , but they limit them . You can only get like three packs per person that's yeah , I think they limit it , right yeah . More of the story is don't go to Costco in Regal Park . Unless you want to get hit by a shopping cart , by a sweet little old lady .
Speaker 2You know , yeah , the elderly , you know they're .
Speaker 1It's vale madre wey .
Speaker 2Well , you know , because they don't care , man , they're just , you know , they're the part of their lives where they don't give a shit anymore , like you . You know you ain't gonna change them , that's not . You know , that's not . You could forget about that , yeah , and then , and they you know they just , they just don't want to be patient .
Speaker 1They'll be patient so long I'm trying to get out , I'm trying to pay . It literally took me like an hour and a half to to pay . That's how long the line was oh my god never again , bro , never again that's crazy .
Speaker 2It just reminded me of uh . This morning I went to go leave my kids to uh daycare and when I got there , uh , yo , these parents are like unbelievable , and I get it , they're . They're moving quick because I'm pretty sure they got other things to do yeah , go to work or , you know , appointments , things of that nature so they have to gotta leave their kids quick . But , jesus , like I still got my kids with me , like you know , they're just , they're just shoving you out , shoving me into the uh , either the elevator or , as soon as the elevator opens , to go to the floor yeah just running out and knocking on like bumping you yeah , or bumping your kid , and like that could be dangerous for sure because you know these are kids that are walking they even say sorry or anything .
Speaker 2Some do , but
Understanding Toxic Relationships
Speaker 2some just like walk away like they're just running , they don't even care . You know , yeah , and I'm just like jesus , like look around you , like be aware of your surroundings before you do something , because you're in a facility where you got like little people walking around and you don't even know if you're gonna hit them or not .
Speaker 1So yeah , I get you you know now , now that I think of it , the lady didn't even say , she didn't even apologize we are toxic , you know speaking of a toxic guy for real let's get into it , brother . So we're talking about toxic , toxic and loyalty , about toxic and loyalty .
Speaker 2Yeah , toxic and loyalty . I'm pretty sure a lot of people out there experience these type of relationships . So you know we're going to speak about it , we're going to probably know the difference between them , but also give our experiences , and maybe you guys could relate , because this is something that is out there um and you hear and we hear especially a lot of in our , in our culture as mexicans . You know the word toxica .
Speaker 1Toxico , that just means toxic , it means you know matter , the , the relationship is either toxic yeah , there's some kind of toxic energy and exactly , or some kind of drama in to your relationship or place of work . So what's toxic for you compa ? I mean yeah , I just said it Like people that are just negative and sour and just not in a good place in life .
Speaker 2Right . Do you have people that is in your inner circle that are that ?
Speaker 1God , I hope not , and if I do , I don't , I I can name't name . I mean , I won't name anybody , but I can't think of anybody that's in that . Yeah , in that space , you know , good for everybody . That's uh in my circle . Did you have a ?
Speaker 2toxic , like friend or a girlfriend in the back in the day . That was like just stressing you out toxic girlfriend not so much .
Speaker 1Uh , actually , no , that's a lie . I had a friend way back when and he was well . He was part of a gang , so that was definitely on the very toxic , because he tried to lure me into the yeah into the gang .
Speaker 2That's toxic .
Speaker 1Yeah , definitely toxic , and then you know the , the kid that tried to lower me into that . You know he's not with us anymore . Girlfriends not so much . Okay , like I kept my distance , they kept their distance when we . I never had a stalker , if that's what you're asking .
Speaker 2Well , you know , it could come in different places .
Speaker 1You know it could be stalkers .
Speaker 2It could also be you know , also be you know throwing shade at you .
Speaker 1Yeah , and just , you know , we didn't have a negative attitude . Yeah , we didn't live through the world of social media when we were growing up , so it's a little different . You know , when really like , I mean , what we , what we had , we had , uh , we had the sidekick , but you couldn't really post about any kind of toxic , about your significant other yeah that's what I'm saying nowadays is a little different but you could remember what , what it was , because we could , I could identify it on my past .
Speaker 2Yeah , you know what I mean , because for me , like talking about relationship , yeah , I had one that was like toxic , really you know . Yeah , because it was really . You know it wasn't good for both parties , and I'm not saying that it's just toxic . Like just the other person , I think I was probably toxic as well .
Speaker 2It was just a toxic relationship yeah , not , not a healthy not a healthy relationship , because we were young and we were thinking about , like you know , we were thinking we weren't thinking about just being kids , we were thinking about , like already establishing a family and like we were just like god damn 15 , 16 right jesus . It was weird , um and and , but she had a different relationship with a different guy and then I , as a , as a , as a guy , yes , I wanted to be with her , but I was also like fooling around with other right people and it was just not right .
Speaker 2And then we were like bump heads . She just wanted to be with you . She just wanted to be with me , I think , because I was just that type of guy .
Speaker 1You were a cool guy . Cool guy , you're a cool guy , you know .
Speaker 2I was just really that type of guy , really nonchalant , and I think that that kind of it just kind of made her feel more comfortable , sure , but at the same time I think she was into deep with like the other relationship also , and that's what's just toxic . That's what it was , and then , it was just like I feel like maybe she didn't know how to stop . I didn't know how to stop either .
Speaker 1So yeah , we bump heads .
Speaker 2you know how to stop .
Speaker 1I didn't know how to stop either .
Speaker 2So yeah , we bump heads , you know , but you know hey , we here now and different lives and pretty sure we're
Personal Experiences with Toxicity
Speaker 2in a happy place .
Speaker 1Yeah , I mean , I guess I had a . There was this one person I can think of , now that we're talking about it , who we were . Uh , you know , we were a couple kind of I guess . But she always wanted me to go to her house . Yeah , but her house was very . There was a lot of negative energy because her parents never got along and then her father was just a fucking nutcase . Oh man , and he , she always wanted me to go there .
Speaker 1I'm like bro , I'm not gonna go there your father's he's might beat the shit out of me , I don't mind . I was probably in my teens yo , maybe she was like pushing , pushing , pushing . I'm like yo I'm not gonna go because your dad is gonna probably beat the shit out of me and then we're gonna be fighting . Then my brother's gonna come and she can get crazy .
Speaker 2Do you think that maybe she was bringing you over because she just wanted ? She wanted an company maybe , like you know , hey , man , like you're the only one that's gonna like no , but she lived , she lived comfortable , she , they lived in a nice house . That don't matter , though , that's true , I don't matter , man , she was probably maybe she was looking for an out .
Speaker 1It was unsafe man yeah , maybe you would .
Speaker 2I hope you were the one that that was like hey , you know , you might , you might like like I used to be .
Speaker 1Anyway , I know right , you know for real . My bad you out there , and then you have your haters brother . Your gossipers , your haters , that just hate .
Speaker 2Well , you got that all around , it's still to this day . Your friends , your , you know , it's the people that you think that they're not , but they're the ones that are like the true haters . The true haters , man . Yeah , you know what I mean .
Speaker 1But those are the ones that are like the true haters , the true haters man . Yeah , you know what I mean . There's a what's that line Good haters are always welcome . Do you believe in that ? I do , yeah , right .
Speaker 2I do absolutely . I think , the more haters you got , you're doing something right .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2You know , and which is funny because I wasn't that type of person that mentality for me was not , was not there , yet I , I was a crowd pleaser , right , you know what I mean ? It took me a really long time to kind of really understand that yo , you're not supposed to be that yeah um , I always didn't .
Speaker 2I couldn't say no , right , like at a young age , like if someone would have , like not have money for like a mcdonald's , or like I got you because , you know , my father was really generous with me and giving me money and my dad never asked for like change , so it was like I got 20 . I'm gonna share it with my people . But as time goes by , right , because you start to like experiencing , like , you know , friends really just abuse you sometimes or they take advantage of you , and then you start to like life hits you and that's when you start to realize like whoa , like this is not something that I , you know , that I experienced before . Because you're always trying to be , you know , a good friend , yeah , but like being a crowd pleaser , nah . And then people , when you start to like , go the other way and you start to disrespect . That's where all the haters are gonna come , that's where the gossip will come , like oh , this guy , this guy , oh , this guy now he has money , things like that .
Speaker 2Or this guy now is doing other things , he forgot about us , or you know things of that nature , and I have no money yeah , me neither . I'm just saying , you know , I'm just going in general people um .
Speaker 1I know .
Speaker 2People , but for example for me like yeah haters , man , they're going to hate . And I think that the more haters you got . I think you're doing something right .
Speaker 1Right Me . On the other hand , when I was , I guess , in my 20s , like early 20s , I was always out like out in clubs and going dancing and shit . It was me and my cousin and we always got hated on . But that's because we didn't , we , we knew how to dance that was our way of like getting god I know getting with the ladies , yeah .
Speaker 2So that's what it was .
Speaker 1You know you got the ladies , yeah yeah , so we learned how to dance , and we learned how to dance real good . So the girls started to find all these these dudes know how to dance , or let's just stick with them ? Yeah , but the dudes , we all . I remember to this day there was so many of them like just staring , wanting to fight me and my cousin don't know , fuck that , we fighting .
Speaker 1You want to fight , we scrap , exactly . But like to this day , like I can't think of anybody . Well , now that we're older , we're older now .
Speaker 2So we're older , mature not to understand what a really hater is , and hater is just people that they are . They are feared , that they fear for for what you're doing and and and they kind of want to . They they don't want you to grow , they want you to stay in the level that they're in .
Speaker 1You know what I mean it's funny you say that , because I see that a lot in in our community , our the land community , we always choose to uh , pulling each other back as opposed to moving forward . Exactly , you know , like you wish . On the other hand , we should be proud of our , our people , and push them , push them . Yo keep pushing , bro , keep doing your thing , but we , our society just keeps which is unfortunate , by the way .
Speaker 2yeah , it's very unfortunate , but that's what a hater is . I think the hater doesn't really one doesn't want to put any bad vibes on you , but once they see that you're growing and you're and you're doing other things , that's the fear for them that you're leaving them behind . And so when you , when they feel that that's when they , that's when they start to criticize you and they start to say , hey , well , look at this guy now , or big and bad now , but in the meantime , what they're really feeling inside is you know , I'm scared . I have this fear that you're going to leave me or you're going to do better things and I'm going to be here . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2Yeah , I agree I
True Friendship and Loyalty
Speaker 2think that's what it is . That's the the whole point of it have you ever hated on anybody ? Me yeah , nah never in my life . No , honestly , I never hated on anybody that I that I know of nah man , I I used to , like I said I I used growing up I used to look up , look up to my cousin , so anything that . Because , um , he , he used to have like the , like the fly sneakers and the fly like shirts and and and pants .
Speaker 2Remember back in the days they used to wear the jorbor uh polo , yeah , uh , they used to do um what else Iniche .
Speaker 1Remember that Iniche .
Speaker 2Echo Nautica Uh , what was that ? Uh that , uh , that brand that used to do like these disney cartoons and everybody iceberg , there you go .
Speaker 1You remember , yeah , iceberg , iceberg .
Speaker 2Well , good call my cousin man used to be like , yeah , he used to dress fly , so everything that he did I wanted to do . Yeah , and I always look up to him and I never , I never everything that he did , I always praise him and then but not only them like like with anybody else my friends , I never was the type of person that was dragging them Like , oh man , that's cool . If someone had like the PS something PS2 or PS1 , I always used to be like , dude man , that's good that you got it , I want to get it , it's almost like a sense of motivation .
Speaker 1Yeah , it was a motivation for me at it like yeah , you know , and it's almost like a sense of motivation you know , you know what I'm gonna get that . I'm gonna get that as well same my cousins were always yeah , always always fly . I've always looked up to them , my like my whole family , my brother too . I can't say that I never really hated . I'm not , I don't like hating anybody hate or throwing any kind of shade to anybody .
Speaker 2I don't know why they do it . I don't know . Have I ?
Speaker 1judged here and there , yeah , but sometimes in a funny , in a comedic way , a funny way . I've never , really never , been malicious to anybody , unless unless I had to , I had to . But for the most part I've been very neutral and try to stay in my lane and , of course , not pick any fights or anything I agree .
Speaker 2That's why me and you , I guess , kind of like clicked , because it was more like we don't hate on each other . We never hated on people . That I guess it's . You have to really separate it , because it's one thing to say , oh , you hated somebody , and then it's another thing to say , like , I dislike this person for whatever reason maybe . Um , but for people that hate , I mean , I don't know how .
Speaker 1Stop the hating . Stop the hating .
Speaker 2Motivate yourselves . It's all about , it's all negativity there . Stop being negative and , just you know , be more proactive .
Speaker 1Yeah , exactly .
Speaker 2We can just .
Speaker 1Start a podcast . Start a podcast . There you go , there you go , you know .
Speaker 2But now that we're speaking about like you know , positive and all that , like you know , let's go . Let's go talk about the people that actually , that that are actually loyal and like really , you know , want to put that , uh , that a friendship and push people , uh to succeed . Um , any , any , any stories you have that you know that you have that friends or family members that push you to uh to be successful , or or something where , in a sense , you know you were probably down rock bottom and you know someone was like , hey , man , it's not the end of the world .
Speaker 1You know we got this uh keep going something of that nature yeah , I mean , I guess I go . I gotta go back to my , my family yeah , it all starts there right yeah , to me , like my , my closest best , like my best friends has always been like my cousins , my brother , my brothers and sisters uh , they've been like . Obviously they're also bloodline , so they're in . I feel like they have no choice but to be loyal to you . But other than that , like I , I've had a my you know my business partner . He's , he's my , he's my boy .
Speaker 2He's been what makes a ?
Speaker 1brother from another mother .
Speaker 2Yeah , what makes a great friendship , though ? Like what makes a great like ? How does it ?
Speaker 1start , I guess , just you know , just just uh being there for you , supporting you yeah not pulling you back , not , not , uh , not throwing any negative energy towards your , whatever you're doing . If you know you're starting a podcast , hey yo , best of luck on the podcast . I know from my whole again , my whole family , our whole team that are with us . They've all been very supportive on this podcast and you know , shout out to all , yeah , but I think , yeah , you know being there for each other . Yeah , you know , obviously , and the good , the bad , whenever there's any kind of , you know you got to throw down . Yeah , you know you throw down Shit like that , you know .
Speaker 2Do you categorize them as like , you know , like levels of friendship ? I don't know , that's a good question . You know what I mean . Like I don't know , that's a good question . You know what I mean . Like I don't know how to say I love you all equally .
Speaker 1Really , my , my , my , my team , yeah , my , my , uh , my closest friends that have that have , I've been , I've been to their weddings or any kind of bachelor parties or being a groomsman . I love you all equally , thanks , no , I don't have any levels , okay . Obviously there's some that I talk to more than others , but for the most part I mean I try to keep everybody equal , yeah , okay conservative , always been yeah , always been like trying to be supportive whenever anything they might need or some kind of support , you know , or a shoulder to cry on .
Speaker 1You never know . Yeah , you never know .
Speaker 2That's true you know because you know , or a shoulder to cry on . You never know . Yeah , you never know . That's true . You know because you know there's a lot of things going on and you never know who's battling something .
Speaker 1I mean , you always got to show up for them , exactly If something you know . We've each had our unfortunate times in our life and you know there was a lot of people that were very supportive when that happened to myself and I'm sure for you as well , and we have to return that favor whenever it happens yeah , man , or anything any good or bad , any anything that they might go through .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's right man does that answer your question kind of yeah yeah , shout out to everyone out there that supported us in those uh bad times and you know it , know it was a great support , because you know we're here better and stronger .
Speaker 1When do you recognize a red and green flag from , like a quote , unquote friend or female friend or manager or boss ?
Speaker 2Good question , man . Now that I'm , you know it goes by phases , right . So now that I'm older , I goes by phases , right . So now that I'm older , I could I could see it from a long distance . Oh yeah , he a fraud , he a fraud , you know , but if you would have asked me this like 20 years ago , yeah , I would have been like lost .
Speaker 2So , to answer your question , yeah , you could see it by , like , I could see it by the um , the body language , the way they speak to you , the way the way they , they say , things like if , if you're really listening to the conversations that you're having with these people and you really see , you really could see a person of what they really are , just like that . That's how I see I could read people , just in that nature , if , if you , if you , if I see that you're a fraud so what's the red flag when you see that ?
Speaker 1oh , man .
Speaker 2A good example would probably be like an example if you know , okay , for example , like , hey , man , come on , man , let's go to the bar , man , let's have a drink . And I'm like , nah , man , like I really can't , like , honestly , I stopped drinking . Yo , fuck that , this isn't that . Boom , that's a flag for me . You know , right away you start saying to yourself he doesn't really care , you know , about whether or not you , you , uh , you want to stop drinking . All he cares about is him , his selfishness . Let's have a good time . It's all about that . Um , that's that could be one .
Speaker 2Another one would probably be um , they're giving you a phone call and they , you know , you , you're expecting , you know , like a conversation with him , like you know with him , and then they'll , they'll just switch the conversation Be like hey , is Fulano , fulano there ? Or yo , can you do me a favor ? A thing like that nature , right Now , I get it . People are , like you know , are desperate and are doing their thing . But you know that's another flag you can see . Another one that you could probably catch from a distance would be , you know the constant , like they hit you up one week and then never hear from them again yeah , you know what ?
Speaker 1it's funny ? You say that because I was just . I was just thinking about that the other day . Yeah , I think if you want to reach out to somebody , just reach out to them , exactly yeah just reach out to them , even if they don't call you , or you know how there's .
Speaker 2There's siblings that don't call each other they never call to say you know , hey , how you doing , or hey , I miss you , whatever yeah , but if you want to do it , just fucking do it just do it , take the initiative listen let me tell you a story and don't expect it back .
Speaker 2Just do it . Yeah , just do it like , like me , I , I . There was a time in my life , well , like I'm a father of four kids , got a , got a beautiful wife , I got four beautiful children . Shout out to your family , thank you , thank you , and you know I don't have time to be with friends , unfortunately , because I got things to do . This is my responsibility . What I need to be is with my family .
Speaker 1Right .
Speaker 2However , with that being said , I took initiative , Like , hey , you know what I friends that I want to call and and just spend , you know , some time with them , whether it could be just 15 , 20 minutes , so what . Whether it could be something like hey , let's get , let's grab a cup of coffee and do this , and that I'm unfortunate to be with one of my closest friends and doing a podcast . So these one , two hours are great because we get to kind of do what we love to do and and and , just , you know , chill out . But those are the type of things and call them . Be like hey , listen , yada , yada , yada . Like what you doing . Hey , man , let's get a cup of coffee this day let's talk about you know , let's catch up , yo , that's everything .
Speaker 1It goes a long way . It definitely goes a long way .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 1Do you think the friends that are there the most matter the most ? Oh yeah , so the friends that are there for you the most matter the most to you , or is that not true ?
Speaker 2You know , remember when I went and tell you to categorize your friends .
Speaker 1Yeah .
Speaker 2For me it came to that point and I and I know maybe it's not right for me to say it , but I'm probably I'm pretty sure people out there would agree with me I think that friends are . You have levels of friends . You have people that are gonna be there for you , you know , on the good times yeah you know , and they and they're great .
Speaker 1You know your friends , you know hey man , how's it going ?
Speaker 2well , how you doing blah , blah , blah , this and that , how you been . Yeah , you know you start drinking or just be a social , this and this and that , but they won't be there on your bad times . You know what ? What ?
Speaker 2I mean and it's not something that is bad . But you know not the type of friends that you know you will count on . Another one would be you know , when you come to friendships , you know the people that are there for you are the ones when they're there in the bad times , on the ugly , when things are going wrong , and they're just there just for support . Like those are the type of people that you want to associate yourself with , because that's the loyalty .
Speaker 2That's the loyalty . Those are the ones that are not there because they they want something , or they you know , or they're asking for something . They're there just because they genuinely want to be there to support you . So those are the kind of ones that you want to want to be there to support you . So those are the kind of ones that you want to be there , help out and thank them . And I have a few of them and those are the ones that I keep in touch , and the rest , you know .
Speaker 2But , we'll see you soon . But we'll see you soon . I'm not going to disregard you if I don't see you in the
Managing Toxic Workplace Environments
Speaker 2street .
Speaker 1You know what I mean .
Speaker 2They're always going to be there for me and I mean they're always going to be my friends and they're always going to like show love . But you know you have to separate them because at the end of the day you have the ones that really are there for you . You ride and die and then you are the ones that you know , when things are going good . Hey , what's going on bro ?
Speaker 1All right , we're going to switch gears now . So toxic workplace is also is also a bad environment .
Speaker 2As an owner , bro , as an owner , right Like what is it that you do differently in order for that not to happen ?
Speaker 1You know what I'm going to go back . I try to keep everything and every and respect every everybody equally . Unless you start fucking up Right . Keep everything and every and respect every everybody equally . Unless you start fucking up , right , like . If you start fucking up , then you know that's when I'm gonna come down to you . But that doesn't make me a bad boss . That just makes me a or a bad owner . Well , absolutely not . It makes you know , I want my business to thrive and I want to see my business successful . When I see if there's some kind of toxicity in the in the business place , you know I'm gonna have no choice but to tell you yo , you need to chill the fuck out . No , absolutely , especially in the in the business place . You know I'm gonna have no choice but to tell you yo , you need to chill the fuck out no , absolutely , especially in the type of industry that you were in .
Speaker 2Yeah , like you definitely gotta be engaged , yeah , and can you ?
Speaker 1and then you also have your fake , your fake co-workers or your fake employees or whatever that are really . Oh , what's up , boss ? Yeah , we'll bring you a coffee . Would you like somebody from the store ? Yeah , I don't like that . How do you deal with that ? Because it happens , it does , but I don't . I , I feel like I , I don't , I haven't seen it all right . Like people , don't bring me , uh , like not that I need it , or bring me anything to like try to suck up to me , yeah , and I don't need it . Okay , so I don't have to deal with it . Thank god , yeah , it's not my , it's not my thing . I , that's not how I work , you know .
Speaker 2But like , do you feel ? Do you also feel like you know that's a ? That's another sign for like , when you come into into a toxic workplace , right , and and , for example , like I'm gonna use you as an example like you're the owner , you come in and you start feeling this vibe , like someone is being a bad apple , right , like the cancer of the group , right . But then you don't , you know , you don't . Obviously , as an owner , you can't assume things at all .
Speaker 2You have to either go by by straight facts . Um , how can , how do you move around that ? You know like meaning , like you know it's happening . I guess you can't really pinpoint . Yeah , exactly , so , yeah , so point fingers at anybody .
Speaker 1So is it something where you're like hey , just let it go ?
Speaker 2let it go , or is it be something more like , as long as everyone is acting professionally at in in the workplace ?
Speaker 1yes and no , because at the same time , you know you want to make your , your people , whoever is working for you , yeah , make sure they come to an environment where it's not hostile . You want people to come to work and be happy , make money and have a good time doing it . If I see it and I have , yeah , I mean I , I will uh say something obviously professional and delicate manner in the first shot , but if it keeps going , then that's when , obviously , you have to say something , because people can start feeling uncomfortable , and I don't want people to feel that way .
Speaker 1I don't want that environment in my workplace .
Speaker 2Do you ever like look at one of your employees and , like you know , you always tell when they're having a shitty day . Do you kind of like take initiative and like go up to them and be like , hey , something wrong . Can I want to talk about it ? Yeah , more like you know what , just go to get to work , go 15 minutes out there , get it together , come back in and let's go I mean , it depends if they , obviously , if they're feeling sick or ill , I'll probably tell them .
Speaker 1Hey , you know what , go take the night yeah go . You know , feel better , we'll see you tomorrow , okay , but if somebody's like down or anything , yeah for sure , I'd definitely give them 15 minutes and go have a cup of coffee somewhere , maybe go get a bagel if we're working , yeah , or something to eat , because that energy comes in in the restaurant .
Speaker 1You know you don't want that you don't want that energy , with nobody yeah , with anybody else , so you don't want it to trickle to the yeah , exactly , I guess yeah to the gas , or to your , to your colleagues no , I get you so I always tell them . You know , if you need a minute , go downstairs , go go to the back if you need more time , and then let me know and then I can figure something out . But I like to give people . I like to give people their space whenever their space is needed , but I'm also . I also like to let people know that I'm there .
Speaker 2If I can help , if I can help in any way .
Speaker 1I'm there for them to , to help them get out of whatever Little hump they're in . Got it , you know .
Speaker 2Man , same Same thing with me when it comes to , like you know , the leadership role . I always try to find ways to Get everybody comfortable . Obviously , you can't control what goes , what goes around out there , but you could control what's inside . So that's me , has always been , me has always been , my character has always been my leadership . Like it becomes something where I try to have this place to be very I try to have this place to be very comfortable and no , no , no , no toxic anywhere . However , though , you can't really control it . So when there are situations where you see and you feel like something's not going right , I always take initiative in trying to talk to the people For sure , and let them know that hey , I'm here for you . If you need anything , let me know . You need some time . You go out there 15 , 20 minutes , gather yourself and then , when you're ready , come back .
Speaker 2Go get a beer .
Speaker 1I wouldn't say that Don't get a beer . Yeah , I got a question for you . So you obviously you've been in the leadership role You've been managing for a while now . There's always this one or two sometimes , depending on how Uh-huh , that just don't give a shit and their energy is bad and they just work . They work , but they work very like slouchy and just kind of very nonchalant , don't really take it like very professional , yeah , and they just don't care Uh-huh . But that also brings like energy to your team , like , hey , this guy's not doing his fucking job , he's just back and forth and not doing a whole lot of nothing , but he's also cool . Yeah , he's also like your friend , he's your boy .
Speaker 1You know how do you handle those people .
Speaker 2You go by trying to understand why is he doing it . You just can't just jump into conclusions and say well , he's slacking off , he's a slacker , or he does it a different way . There's got to be a reason why he's doing it . And the way you do that is by kind of taking him out , talking to him one-on-one , make him understand why he's being brought into my attention and then explain to him you know the way we work and the way we wanted to to to work in our culture , and then obviously letting him know what , what seems to be the reason that you're acting this way , or yada , yada , um , but he's , but he's your boy , though , exactly which makes it even more easier , in a sense .
Speaker 2Like yo , step it the fuck up yeah , exactly like what the hell you doing , like what's going on , this is not . You talk to me um , so that's how I I will approach the situation and obviously it keeps on um coming . You see , the thing about me is I separate friendship with , with with work . With work . Yeah , when you're my friend out there , when you come inside , you're not my friend . Yeah , you're my employee , you're my employee .
Speaker 1I will write you up , yeah , or send you home , yeah . I got to set an example because if and I for yeah , I wrote up my friend , sure you know , shout out to adrian that's who I was , that's that's what you were . Good , yeah , aim for . You know why ? Because he does his job . Yeah , he does his job right . He's very like .
Speaker 2Yeah , you know he does his job right . He , he does it , he listen . He's the type of guy that never , never he's a good human being . Good human being never calls out never shows up to work shows up to work and doesn't get it done . Now is he a little sloppy ? Yes , is he freaking .
Speaker 1Goes around , you know bumping people yes , but he's also your buddy , yeah he does .
Speaker 2He does when people tell him something . Does he give a fuck ?
Speaker 1no , absolutely not you know he's gonna listen to this podcast .
Speaker 2Of course he's gonna laugh but , um , but what I'm trying to say is that you know when , when you're in the workplace with a friend , you gotta separate that , yeah , for sure , and I did that and I did it well , I wrote him up . And when I wrote him up , you know , um , it's not an example , because then the people that are looking at you , that they're looking like , hey yo , he wrote up his friend like you believe , I'll write your ass up .
Speaker 1I'm gonna write your ass up too you know I was , I was .
Speaker 2I wasn't straight straight to the word . You know I always gave people . You know I'm the type of manager , that or leader that you know . As long as you're doing your job and you're doing it the right way , I got no no beef , no beef .
Speaker 1With you , you come in , you do your job , but when ?
Speaker 2you're doing things wrong , yeah , and you're pressing it , yeah . Then you're gonna see the different will , yeah , and then the will that you don't really want to see . You know what I mean . And then you know strict but fair type of thing , right , but yeah , that's how . That's how I approach things . I always give the people the benefit of doubt , but you got your bad apples out there . You always will , and you know , sooner or later we'll take care of that uh , final thoughts on wrapping it up .
Speaker 1How do we cut off the toxicity from your surroundings ?
Speaker 2by doing the opposite , by showing more love , bringing that vibe , bringing that good vibe , bringing that that you know set an example an example , exactly . You know a leader understands that when there's negativity coming your way . You got a kind of like a force field yeah you know what I mean . And you , when you build that force field and and you start bringing that , good energy and that and that and that great vibe that's just gonna just push that away .
Speaker 2You lead , they will follow . Yeah , exactly what ? To the point where it's like the people that are doing that negativity are like yo , he's not bothered by it . They're eventually going to stop . Some people don't give a fuck , though .
Speaker 1Some people don't give a fuck . Yeah , of course they're going to hate and they're going to hate forever .
Speaker 2They're going to hate forever , but sometimes you can't really never , never , never just gotta keep pushing they eventually are gonna find their way you know , I mean they're gonna , they're gonna disappear , they're gonna , they're gonna leave you know what ?
Speaker 1thank god I don't have anything . Yeah , because kind of they thrive . Yeah , drive by negativity , any kind of haters or any kind of toxic , toxic environment in my , in my space everybody been you know , relative Well , everybody's been very , very supportive , and you know what ?
Speaker 2Believe it or not , a lot of that I love you all .
Speaker 2Believe it or not , man , a lot of that comes because you don't bring that vibe . You know what I mean . So when you don't bring that vibe , you're not going to have that toxic , that toxic environment , toxic , that toxic environment , people that are that live the way they live and and and on good vibes , you're gonna attract that . Have you ever heard about the law of like attraction ? It's like what you think of in your head , bro , and like what you like . You know , yeah , what you , what you kind of want to just bring into your , bring into your um , into your environment . Man , that's what's gonna happen if you start thinking about like man , I want to , I want to be healthy , I want to do this , I want to do that . You know , did you give up anything for lent ? Now that you think of , now that I think about it ?
Speaker 1I haven't , I haven't , but I've been good , obviously this is not the topic that yeah we were on , but I just wanted to ask I haven't I gave up carbs ?
Speaker 2Carbs , yeah , oh no . No pasta , no bread , no tortillas , bro , it's been so fucking hard .
Speaker 1It's been meat all day .
Speaker 2Pause , pause . I was gonna say that .
Speaker 1Big pause Meat and eggs .
Speaker 2And protein . I mean , I'm taking some protein . Okay , obviously some veggies , but I'm Keep it up , man , I miss . I miss tortillas so bad hey , listen , it gets better as you keep going . You know you start . It's been like a week already no , it's 46 days .
Speaker 146 days like well , we're on what ? 37 now , something like that .
Speaker 2So no , no beer , I've been drinking wine you're doing it for reflexes like a motherfucker you're
Breaking Free from Toxicity
Speaker 2doing it for a reason I am , I am .
Speaker 1So , yes , I am just keep on doing , I will keep pushing around , we will do it for you .
Speaker 2Yeah , I appreciate it , um yeah , man , and then just for final thoughts on my part , man , wait , wait okay , I think I have a uh encaliente for you , my friend .
Speaker 1Ah , that's right . You want to do this . Are you ready ? I'm ready . I'm not ready , but I'm going to throw some stuff out .
Speaker 2Encaliente moment . Encaliente moment . Let's do this . Encaliente moment here ladies and gentlemen , Normally it'll be me but hey , they're going to do it .
Speaker 1Let's see if I can rapid fire some questions .
Speaker 2Let's do this , I'm ready . Who's more toxic , male or female ?
Speaker 1Male , go out drinking with your boys or staying home , staying home . Do you care more about fixing the toxic environment or letting it be ?
Speaker 2Fixing the toxic environment or letting it be Fixing the toxic environment .
Speaker 1I think that's all I got .
Speaker 2That's good man , Awesome . Congratulations on your first .
Speaker 1En Caliente segment . That was amazing . I wasn't prepared , you know . You got me on the second one , though I could have had better .
Speaker 2I was paused by that . I was like wait , damn .
Speaker 1But yeah , anyway .
Speaker 2It was good , man , congrats , thank you . Yeah , yeah , a lot of pressure , right .
Speaker 1No , I just wasn't prepared . I should have .
Speaker 2I should have Listen . We could try it again next .
Speaker 1I should have wrote something down . I didn't .
Speaker 2We could try it again . Next segment , next episode .
Speaker 1I'll do it again . It'll be a better job this time . Sweet yeah .
Speaker 2And For the people out there , man , for our final thoughts about this episode . Hey , listen , just stop being . If you're a hater and you're and you're or sometimes they don't even know but if you are able to change and just do something good for the people , man , just do it . Man , you know you're gonna feel much better , you're gonna start to realize , you know that there's another way to approach things . So it's all about the good vibes . You know , said good vibes , said good vibes be that type of person yep , and listen , it goes a long way .
Speaker 2Believe me , you do that and a lot of good things are going to happen , are going to be coming your way . Believe that karma comes back I like I'm a firm believer of that , absolutely , absolutely so , with that being said , guys , thank you again for listening to Small Talk with Compa . Again , you know I'm Will this is my brother here , danier , and we're going to sign out , man , thank you for joining us , man .
Speaker 1Make sure you like . Subscribe follow everywhere . Yes , share , share , share , and I'm going to leave you guys with a little quote , really Before the outro .
Speaker 2Go ahead . All I have in this world is my balls and my word , and I don't break them for no one . Do you understand ?
Speaker 1That's a fact .
Speaker 2That is a fact , guys . We out no-transcript
Final Thoughts and En Caliente
Speaker 2.
