Breaking the Chains of External Validation for Authentic Joy
Mar 08, 2024Season 2Episode 14
Have you ever found yourself performing for the applause of others only to realize that the sound of your own happiness has faded away?
It's a trap many fall into, and in our latest episode, we explore the art of living authentically. I peel back the layers of societal expectations that often dictate our decisions and discuss the mental health risks of chasing external approval.
This episode isn't just about recognizing the chains of validation—it's about breaking them.
I share actionable steps towards embracing your true self and the unapologetic pursuit of your desires. We tackle the misconceptions women face regarding career success and personal relationships, offering fresh perspectives on balancing these aspects of life.
Join me, share your story, and find strength in a community that celebrates authenticity at every turn. Your path to authentic living starts here, and I'm thrilled to walk it with you.
I would also love to invite you to a conversation. You can join me on this link.
Have you ever found yourself performing for the applause of others only to realize that the sound of your own happiness has faded away?
It's a trap many fall into, and in our latest episode, we explore the art of living authentically. I peel back the layers of societal expectations that often dictate our decisions and discuss the mental health risks of chasing external approval.
This episode isn't just about recognizing the chains of validation—it's about breaking them.
I share actionable steps towards embracing your true self and the unapologetic pursuit of your desires. We tackle the misconceptions women face regarding career success and personal relationships, offering fresh perspectives on balancing these aspects of life.
Join me, share your story, and find strength in a community that celebrates authenticity at every turn. Your path to authentic living starts here, and I'm thrilled to walk it with you.
I would also love to invite you to a conversation. You can join me on this link.
Welcome to Unbound Ambitions, the podcast where aspirations meet action, dreams fuel drive and every ceiling is just another floor to break through. Here we celebrate the power of persistence, explore the art of balancing career and personal life and unlock the secrets to growth and fulfillment. Whether climbing the corporate ladder, navigating entrepreneurship or finding harmony in your daily life, unbound Ambitions is your companion in journeying for your highest goals. Join us as we get real about challenges, present valuable information and equip you with insights for a life that's as thriving as it is grounded. Because here we believe your ambitions are just the beginning. And now your host, penelope Magilniti.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
Welcome to another episode of Unbound Ambitions. Have you ever noticed that the world around us often feels like it's built on a foundation of seeking approval, from the perfectly curated images on social media to the relentless pursuit of success and recognition in our careers and personal lives? Yet the most fulfilling path is not paved with the approval of others, but with the authenticity of living for ourselves. Today's episode is all about embracing this journey of self-discovery and genuine living, embracing the beauty of our individuality and crafting a life that resonates deeply with who we truly are, rather than who the world expects us to be. Enjoy, Hello and welcome. Have you ever felt like you are living your life according to someone else's script? We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people's demands. We struggle to satisfy other people's points of view because we are afraid that we won't be accepted otherwise, Because we are worried we are not going to be good enough. This is the real reason they're not being good enough. In the conversations I have with women, they tell me you know, Penelope, I feel guilty for not speaking up because I fear how I will perceive if I do Another one. I was hiding a big part of me in the relationship because I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted as the person I truly am. Research published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who pursue external meditation and approval are more prone to anxiety and depression, highlighting the mental health risks of living for others' approval.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
We've made so many agreements with ourselves based on this false assumption that we must live our lives on approval that we have forgotten who we are. When our agreements look like this this is who I am. Therefore, I cannot change. This is what I should believe. This is how I should feel. This is how I should behave. All the shorts represent not what you want, but what others want. So you convince yourself that you cannot change. You convince yourself that the dream you secretly have is a fantasy. The reality is the dream your parents had for you and that you ought to stick with it because they sacrifice so much. And what we managed to do is to keep this illusion that this is how life should be and that it's our duty to keep suffering, because our parents suffered for us. But let's be honest, that was their choice. They chose to keep believing that they should follow someone else's script because they didn't know better. But the truth is. In the world we live today, we have the opportunity to know better, to question narratives and perceptions that no longer serve us. Are you willing to keep this script of self-sacrifice or are you willing to break this chain of suffering so your kids don't have to go through the same struggles and insecurities? Are you willing to break this chain of suffering so you can start enjoying your life and actually start living it and not wasting it? So here's how we can break free.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
First, we need to understand that each one of us is born with a certain amount of personal power and that we can change our life's circumstances if we don't like the ones that we currently live in. To do that, we must first self-reflect and be honest in our self-reflection. We must take time to understand our true desires and what makes us happy. We stop worrying about what is expected and we create the vision of what lights us up, of what we want to have to feel happy. Then we start guarding ourselves from external noises and distractions. We set personal boundaries to create the space to work on the things that matter. Our boundaries should be politely set, but also firmly, and it will include boundaries with our friends, our family and colleagues, we need to understand that our mental health and well-being is equally important as the peoples we care about. We also need to understand that by sacrificing ourselves, we don't serve others. We punish everyone, ourselves included. To stick to our boundaries, we must develop strong self-esteem. This is step number three. We must start recognizing our qualities. We must stop believing all the false stories our mind is telling us when it comes to how good and capable we are To manage this. We need to start journaling, because this is what happens when you write down all your thoughts, you can distinguish which ones are true and which ones are not, because the reality is that the mind always loves to create stories based on fear, and not fast. So when we start becoming more aware of these stories, we will stop believing them, and this is how our confidence and self-esteem will improve.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
Another great way and I've mentioned this before is to celebrate our wins. I keep a journal and I call it my achievement journal. Every win I have, big or small, I write a damn to this journal. So when my mind starts telling me all these stories of not being good enough, of not accomplishing enough, I have a proof I am enough because I have accomplished so much. Here they are in my journal. We tend to discard the little wins, but the little wins are the ones which lead us to the bigger ones. And the last piece that I would like to touch and it's very important is to find your tribe. When we surround ourselves with like-minded people who appreciate and encourage authenticity, we will become stronger.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
Jim Ron famously said we become the average of the five people we are most associating with. So find people who uplift you, who support you and who are willing to push you so you can overcome your self-imposed limitations. I am building that tribe right now and I would like to invite you to join me if you would like to break free of the change of the shoot so you can start creating love based on authenticity, acceptance and growth. There is a new found freedom, joy and peace when you are no longer being chained to others' opinions and expectations. I broke free from them as a woman and mother.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
I should sacrifice my dreams for my family's sake. That was my chain. I refused to abide to self-sacrifice, to self-sacrifice my health and overall well-being by being available, tending everyone 24-7. I taught my family instead how to be self-sufficient and to respect the fact that I needed personal time to rest, and they learned to respect that. I am a better man because of that. I am a better partner because I take time to nurture myself and do the things that I love, and I am a better at my line of work as a coach and mentor because of that.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
While seeking approval is natural, true condemnment comes from living authentically, and the truth is you will need strong will to break the old habit of seeking approval. You will need to stay strong to your new commitment of doing the things that you will fulfill you and help you grow in a way that will benefit others along the way, and with the only difference that you won't have to sacrifice yourself. I would like to encourage you to take the first step today towards breaking free from the cycle of seeking validation and to start living for yourself. Start your journey to self-discovery and authentic living now. If you found this episode helpful, like, share and subscribe for more content like this In the comments below.
Penelope Magoulianiti:
share your story or a step you are taking today towards living for yourself, and, if you'd like to explore more how to start implementing this immediately, get in touch. I can help you and I want to leave you with this question what's one thing you will do today to live more authentically? Much love. There are several myths and misconceptions that exist about women who want to have successful careers and maintain fulfilling and beautiful relationships, and this is what I love to do. I love to debunk these myths, to coach and guide women to a new way of thinking and doing. If you are interested in learning more about my work, I would love to invite you to a conversation. Go to PenelopeMagoulianiti. com/l ets talk to book your call.