We are back with part 2 of our chat with the incredibly talented Australia based wedding photographer, Ben Connolly! In this episode, we find out all about Ben's grand and very exciting project which has been three years in the making!
Switching things up, we move from the professional to the personal. Ben quizzes us about our favourite drinks, biggest fears, and some unusual dislikes that might have you chuckling. Then, we steer the conversation towards some more profound topics - the importance of pursuing passions, self-acceptance, and self-awareness. Ben’s wise words could be the push you need to build your life around something you truly love!
Finally, we wrap up with some sage advice from Ben on the importance of investing in education over equipment accumulation. His thought-provoking words will leave you pondering - encouraging us to focus on self-improvement and the pursuit of being 'infinite players'. So come, join us for this inspirational conversation with Ben Connolly - it promises to leave you inspired and ready to tackle your world with renewed zest!
Join us in the Flash Masters community:
Website: https://flashmasters.co/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flashmasters/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@flash-masters
Flash Masters is hosted by:
Helen Williams: https://www.instagram.com/helenwilliamsphotography/
Neil Redfern: https://www.instagram.com/neilredfern/
We are back with part 2 of our chat with the incredibly talented Australia based wedding photographer, Ben Connolly! In this episode, we find out all about Ben's grand and very exciting project which has been three years in the making!
Switching things up, we move from the professional to the personal. Ben quizzes us about our favourite drinks, biggest fears, and some unusual dislikes that might have you chuckling. Then, we steer the conversation towards some more profound topics - the importance of pursuing passions, self-acceptance, and self-awareness. Ben’s wise words could be the push you need to build your life around something you truly love!
Finally, we wrap up with some sage advice from Ben on the importance of investing in education over equipment accumulation. His thought-provoking words will leave you pondering - encouraging us to focus on self-improvement and the pursuit of being 'infinite players'. So come, join us for this inspirational conversation with Ben Connolly - it promises to leave you inspired and ready to tackle your world with renewed zest!
Join us in the Flash Masters community:
Website: https://flashmasters.co/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flashmasters/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@flash-masters
Flash Masters is hosted by:
Helen Williams: https://www.instagram.com/helenwilliamsphotography/
Neil Redfern: https://www.instagram.com/neilredfern/
Welcome to the Flash Masters podcast. Flash Masters recognizes and celebrates the best flash photography in the world through education, awards and community. To find out more and to join the Flash Masters community, visit flashmastersco. Here are your hosts, Helen Williams and Neil Redfern.
Neil Redfern:MUSIC. Hey everybody, welcome to episode 51 of the Flash Masters podcast with me, neil Redfern and me, helen Williams, and, as you'll know if you listen to last week's podcast, we are joined again by the incredible, the inspirational all the way from Australia, ben Connolly. Bit of a peek behind the cursor of the podcast. This has all been one conversation, but we didn't want this to be one podcast. It was over two hours long. We wanted to cut this into two just to make it easy digestible, because everything that we spoke about has been gold. So we are so pleased and proud to welcome back, even though he's not actually back. It's all been one conversation. On to episode 51, ben Connolly. Well, thanks very much, it's great to be back again. He's not moving. We've not moved.
Intro:It's going to be good Ben yeah, thank you so much.
Neil Redfern:I'd say we could talk to you, as we're proving, for hours. It doesn't matter how long we talk, for we're just like this is brilliant. This is brilliant. As Helen said in episode one, we just feel like we're just kneeling at the altar of Ben and just learning so much from your words. So, yeah, it's an honor to have you, for the first time ever, a guest queen, back onto the podcast. So, ben, I just wanted to get into straight away, if that's all right. We spoke on the first podcast about the workshops, about how you have embraced education within your business, but we forgot to mention that you have. You've been working on a huge project that since we first spoke to you now a year ago. You're working on this and I believe it's almost time to release it. So over to you to announce what this is.
Ben Connolly:So for the last three years of my life, I have been working on a online program which, to my knowledge, is going to be the most comprehensive online photography program in the world. As far as I know that I've seen, it's consisting of, I think, 11 modules now. It originally started with sort of five or six, but as I went through and things kind of expanded out, it just got bigger and bigger and bigger and, yeah, it's become a kind of an all consuming monster. That has I've managed to get it done between doing 45, 48 weddings a year and that sort of stuff. Wow, Pretty much.
Ben Connolly:I've only been in the last sort of two weeks or the last week and a half, really, that I've put pretty much all my time, everything into it, because I'm now at a point where all of the modules are all done, Everything's all finished. I'm just doing some little fine tuning, some tweaks. There's a couple of companies that have sent me updated information, so I'm sort of just updating all the bits and pieces, because obviously it was put together. It began three years ago, so a lot of the photos that I used three years ago I look back at now and go what were you thinking, mate? Yeah, I can relate to that. So there's a bit of updating and that sort of stuff that's gone on.
Ben Connolly:But the last week it's been kind of all consuming because I now have the finish line in sight and with the program finished I'm just the updates and then I've just got to sit there and voice record the whole thing and then we're good to go. It's one of those things that I've put an incredible amount of time and energy and it is everything I know, everything that I've learned, that I've picked up over the years, that I've been taught, all the systems, all the processes, everything that I have kind of going on in my head up to this point is in this program. There's an introduction, there's a getting started module about you know a little bit about mindset and how to start a business and you know the steps. Basically is a check off list of steps to take for an Australian business to start that. Then we've got the equipment that you need. Then we've also got the module I think it's module three which is the one that I actually uploaded onto the Flashmasters page, but put that ACVD.
Neil Redfern:Thank you so much for that.
Ben Connolly:That's just a very cut down module, I guess, of a bit of an explanation of the whole thing, but that was something that I'm going to use as a bit of a lead generator, just to give away so that people can get a grasp of what's going to be involved in it and then you know, look at going further. But that's module three. Then module four is the equipment that you need. Module five is lighting and posing. Six is composition. Seven is flash and creative lighting. Eight is pricing and what to offer. Nine is post-production workflow. Ten is album design and sales. And eleven is the entire business branding, marketing, finding your niche, business structures, business plans, like the whole thing. It's all there and it's exhausting, I guess, trying to remember it all and get it all out there. But, like I said in the first podcast, the reason I'm doing it is because this wasn't around when I was starting and something I really needed, and the reason that I'm going to sell this program over here in Australia for four hundred and ninety seven dollars.
Neil Redfern:Wow, that's crazy.
Ben Connolly:I know and so many people have said to me oh, but you could charge thousands and blah, blah, blah.
Neil Redfern:And I'm like well, those listeners say that that's about two hundred pounds in the UK. Yeah, which would mean that that's what two hundred and sixty two hundred seventy dollars in the US.
Ben Connolly:Yes, yeah, it's relatively inexpensive. And you know, I've had so many people say to me dude, you, we've seen what's involved in this, we've seen what you've gone through to put it together. You're charging thousands and thousands, but again, it just comes down to the fact that when I needed it, I wouldn't have been able to afford thousands and thousands and it wasn't around when I needed it. So if I can make it available and make it attainable for people who are just starting out, who actually need it, then they can start properly and they can get the education that they need, they can go to work, they can do it properly, they can create the systems and and the processes that will ensure that that, hopefully, they don't fail and then, hopefully, in 20 years time, they'll be the ones that go. Do you know what? I need? To pass this forward and I'm going to do my thing and I'm going to share it with someone else. I hope that it just works this way forward.
Neil Redfern:It's an amazing thing. I mean, it's in different ways. It's amazing that you've managed to do this while maintaining such a busy wedding photography business. I don't know how you've done that, literally, logistically, how you've managed to actually find the time, but it's also amazing how you've got to this point. Clearly, your motivator is to help people not to earn as much money as you can, because that is so cheap, so so cheap for what sounds like everything that you know.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, yeah so yeah, hats off.
Neil Redfern:I just love your passion for helping other people, other photographers, and driving the industry forward. It's so incredible to see.
Ben Connolly:I kind of like to leave a legacy, as opposed to just being one of those photographers that just sells a workshop it doesn't really care, that just appears to make money off the people who need the help. Like I kind of don't want to be that person, like I don't want to appear to anyone, I don't really, I don't care what people think, because I'm at that point in my life where I'm good with how I am and who I am and I don't care what people think. But at the same time I don't want to be perceived as one of these, another one of these photographers that just hocks their wares and just sells programs to people and does it because they're in it for the money. Yes, money is important and making a lifestyle is important and you know I'm a big believer in money can't buy happiness, but everybody's trying to find out for themselves.
Ben Connolly:But you know, at the same time, I, in doing this and in, and if I can reach the amount of people that I hope to reach by doing this, then the money, the return on investment, will come back, of course, and it may not be in a monetary sense, it may be in a legacy sense, but you know, if you get 5,000 people, buy this at $497, then I've helped 5,000 people and I've made a nice income and I've looked after myself from it as well.
Ben Connolly:If I only sell it to 100 people and it helps 100 people, then you know what I've left the legacy and I've helped someone and they'll pay it forward later on. But I just I don't want to be one of these photographers that appears so unattainable to everyone and the people out there who you can't call them. You send them an email. They never reply because you feel like you're just not important enough. Yes, they're at this level, you perceive yourself to be at this level and they've got so much that they can share and you want so much information and help from them, but they feel like they're just unattainable or unreachable or uncontactable or something like that, and I just I don't want to be that person?
Neil Redfern:You're definitely not, Ben. Anybody who listens to you for five minutes knows that you're not that person. Yeah no, not at all. So yeah, it sounds amazing. So where are you actually up to now and do you have like a timeline in terms of when it may be released?
Ben Connolly:So, yeah, everything's finished and there's just been a few companies that have come on board that have made me an ambassador or made me one of their team or whatever, and so amazing incorporating those companies in different ways, giving them their own sections in each module. So there's been a little bit of adding things in, but there's some incredible companies that have given me their information and given me discount codes and a lot of insight and stuff, like companies like Profoto, aso the company that make those amazing monitors, you know, graphi Studio in Italy, fundy have put in a lot. I use an AI retouching company called Retouch for me, which is really cool, and they've brought me on board as one of their ambassadors and, you know, have let me use their product free of charge, which is amazing, and so, you know, I've just I've added people like that into the program because it's their companies that I personally use, that I know that I can recommend that. I know that you press, go on what they do and it just works.
Neil Redfern:And that means so much, doesn't it, to know that you actually use in them.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, yeah. And when they save me so much time and they increase the quality of my life and my lifestyle, then who am I not to share them with the people I feel I can help?
Helen Williams:Do we have a date, though? When can people get their hands on this?
Ben Connolly:I went steaming across the flat. Then on some other tangent I'm hoping to have it done audio recorded, so it's in PDF format. At the moment I've got to sit there and play it on the computer and voice over the whole thing as I play through it, so I can record audio and video, so I can provide a PDF version and audio version and audio visual version. So that's going to be the next big thing. I was going to get AI to do that, but let's face it, ai is not going to sound as mental as what I do.
Neil Redfern:You could have asked AI to do like a famous voice over it.
Ben Connolly:I think it kind of needs to be my voice. So I'm going to do that and then you know, once it's all put together, then hopefully I may be able to ship it off to Audible or something like that afterwards in audio form, that's brilliant.
Neil Redfern:I've never heard of any course doing that before.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, so that's the plan and hopefully I want to have that done. I'd like to have it done by the end of October so that we can hit go probably very early in the new year. So I kind of want to try to catch people right at the beginning of the year when they've gone right. Our New Year's resolution which I think is bullshit, but anyway, new Year's resolution, we're going to try something, we're going to stick our head out, we're going to take a risk, we're going to take this full time, we're going to do whatever. And I kind of want to sort of put it out then, because I think it towards the end of the year people are winding down, they're looking for Christmas, they don't want to start anything new and you know, very early next year to kick off, I think is the way to go.
Ben Connolly:But the the aims to have it done by October so that you know, at the end of the year I can have a bit of a break. Come to see you guys in the UK for the workshop and bring it with you to give to everyone who's a participant of the workshop, go home for Christmas and then, you know, do the Cosmos Awards in Malaysia in February, wppi in March and feel refreshed, hopefully, when that's all happening. So in in a very short answer, helen, hopefully October. Um, it's worth case beginning in November good stuff.
Neil Redfern:I love the thought. I love the idea that you're doing like an audio version because you're so we've said it so many times but you're so inspirational to listen to and I just love the thought of driving to a wedding with like the chapter on mindset playing in the car, yeah, and yet you're gonna like feel 10 foot tall when you walk into that, into that bridal prep room, thinking I'm gonna absolutely smash this with your words like ringing in your head.
Ben Connolly:That's so cool to have that version and maybe going back to our the crazy Australian guest questions that I gave you. Like I one of my phobias I just thinking about it would be sounding like that guy that just talks like a monotone voice like this and after half an hour you want to shoot yourself in the face. Yeah, that I don't want to be that guy. So I've got to really make sure that when I'm recording this, I'm I'm I'm bringing in the energy and and you know, up and down and then standing in and like just doing that. So, yeah, I've kind of I've got to keep that going, not monotone anything. So I guess that's a bit of a fear of mine, I guess you've got.
Neil Redfern:You've got a very good voice to listen to. I wouldn't worry about that.
Helen Williams:I've got a head for radio so you won't sound like the other days. You first like your YouTube videos. That's not gonna happen.
Neil Redfern:Hi everyone, in today's video, I'm gonna talk about how uh, yeah, I'm gonna talk about how you can create a reflection with your phone.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, you would be way better than that.
Neil Redfern:That's probably just a bit of an experience. I too. Oh no, it was, it was. I was like a little rabbit in the headlights. Yeah, you just mentioned there, ben, the questions that you asked us. So, with the magic of technology, here they are.
Ben Connolly:Ah, I'm thinking that I want to throw something in that you would have never done before, and if you like it, then maybe you can carry it on. If you don't, yeah, okay, yeah, whatever. But if you do like, maybe you can carry it on, but maybe just a cut down version. That's up to you. But I thought you're gonna follow a whole lot of questions at me and and I'm gonna, I'm just gonna be me, I'm gonna be the idiot that I am, so I want to fire a few questions at you go for it so I've got the crazy Australians guess questions.
Ben Connolly:So I'm blushing before we start. If you want, you can both answer them.
Neil Redfern:I'll let Helen decide that when she sees a question you can both.
Ben Connolly:You can both answer if you want. And if you want to throw it back to me, I'll answer a question, I'll answer the same one as well. So well, if you want, we can go around the circle. So love it. So first question to the both of you what's your favorite alcoholic drink?
Neil Redfern:brisekko jadien coke fucking it's not snap like, not not both, at once jadien coke for me helens 99 percent praseco.
Ben Connolly:Her blood is praseco and what does she please praseco?
Neil Redfern:what was your jadien jenel's and coke jadien's and coke right yeah, which I I know to a whiskey man like yourself, he's probably swearing in no. I do need the coke jack daniels.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, you need it with Jack, because it's cats piss. So do you want to know my answer?
Neil Redfern:yes, yes, oh, I think we, oh, is it mcracken whiskey or something? Oh god, no jesus have, I got that wrong no, it's mcallon.
Ben Connolly:But no, that's not mcallon. Yeah, yeah crack, it is rum my favorite alcoholic drink would have to be one of my espresso martinis. Oh, your own recipe. Yes, I do dabble in a bit of out, in a bit of cocktail making. So when you come to Australia don't expect I'll have a bottle of praseco for you in the fridge, but expect some cocktails and expect to be wankered after like three or four yes, amazing, yeah, we'll hold you to this righty. Oh so next question any phobias? What's your phobias?
Neil Redfern:I have a really weird one. I do. I do have like the normal ones, like I found as I'm getting older. Heights are an issue for me, yeah, and I didn't used to have that one as younger. I don't want to take it to phobia, because it's it's not, like it impacts on me in terms of, like the weirdest one. I'm even thinking about it now, way to go.
Neil Redfern:It's people brushing the teeth in front of me and also, weirdly, it's sponges, and sponges is what you use in a bath. Because when I was younger and even talk about it now and getting goosebumps, literally when I was younger I went into the dentist and for some reason, I don't know what was going on, but I needed to have a sponge put into my mouth and I hated it so much I was crying, and even if I think about putting a sponge on my skin, it makes me go, oh no, I'll never get over it. So, yeah, a lot of normal ones, but that is one that is a bit more unusual but is very real. And, yeah, if I see Helen brushing her teeth, or if she's on TV anybody brushing their teeth, I'm like, oh no, and I don't know why that is, but I can't do it. Well, ok, helen, there you go. That's a good question.
Helen Williams:I'm even struggling. It's the bog standard. Like, really don't like spiders, but that sounds really boring, but I don't even know if this is it. Yeah, still, my biggest fear is just letting people down or disappointing people, and that's just not very fun, is it Like, yeah, the thought of letting someone down or doing something wrong?
Neil Redfern:For the person at the podcast. Oh, helen, I thought custard was yours. You really don't like custard, do you? But then to be fair we've had some posh custard, oh yeah, or touching jam there you go Touching jam so you say spider, but then touch in jam. Why are you touching the jam?
Helen Williams:I don't like well spreading jam. Jam is like no, I'm not a fan of jam, so jam is much more fun and less steep of going. My biggest fear is letting other people down.
Neil Redfern:Just touching jam. Touching jam, touching jam.
Ben Connolly:Right, ok, I'm letting people down. Like I don't really kind of have any phobias as such, I'm not scared of snakes or spiders, I suppose you can't be. Probably my biggest fear, I guess, would be potentially being homeless. That'd be a harrowing experience, I reckon, but I wouldn't say it's a phobia of mine, but it's one of those things that I would. Thankfully now I feel like I'd never have to worry about that, but it would be something that would be just terrifying.
Neil Redfern:Yeah, because that, then, is the start of lots of other issues, isn't it, People? You know your health would go? Oh, it would be. Yeah, it's awful.
Ben Connolly:Yeah. So next question Favorite meal to cook, to cook or to eat, to cook For me.
Neil Redfern:I'm going to say we started ordering Hello Fresh. Did you have Hello Fresh, ben, in Australia? Yeah, we started getting those and I've now started to tweak them a little bit and I made one last night. I was like, oh, actually I'm pretty impressed with it. Admittedly, it's just a Hello Fresh recipe, but it's really easy. I'm not a fan of cooking, so anything that's easy is what I'll always go for. But with Hello Fresh it's made me realize, even though it's easy, it tastes amazing and now I actually prefer it to the Chinese-easy Asian ones that we have, I think, even nicer than the takeaway. So yeah, I'm going to say that.
Helen Williams:It's usually something with noodles and beef and teriyaki sauce.
Neil Redfern:It's basically noodles, teriyaki sauce, beef and peanuts on the top. That is a taste sensation, that's a revelation.
Intro:So yeah, I'm going to say that.
Helen Williams:Yeah, good idea, father, you can sponsor the podcast if you wish they're not listening Send us some boxes please. I know mine as well. Mine's going to be a roast dinner typical UK roast but the reason I really enjoy cooking them is because it takes so long and it just seems to be the law that if I cook a roast, I can drink a bottle of red wine whilst doing it.
Helen Williams:Because, it takes so long. That's kind of like my activity for the day, so it's kind of like a chill-out time. So yeah, as soon as I start, or about to start, prepping the veg, you have to pour red wine. But I said, it's quite a long process to put together a full roast. So I basically get drunk whilst I'm making it and it's kind of all consuming and I get another timing's right. So for me who I do a million different tasks at once and I can't focus, I do actually focus a bit whilst I'm making that plus I have nice wines. Yeah, a roast for me.
Neil Redfern:Right, what's yours, Ben? Are you a cook Ben?
Ben Connolly:I dabble a little bit, but I'm more of a barbecue guy, so my favorite meal to cook would be a nice big, thick fillet steak with veggies.
Neil Redfern:Nice. Chug it on the barbie, mate. Yep, chug it on the barbie, yeah.
Ben Connolly:We could probably barbecue about three days a year in the UK, so I use mine every night, Like it's on my balcony and I just step outside, throw a bit of steak on and away. You go every night.
Neil Redfern:You're a stone throw from the beach. You've got your barbie on the go every night. Yep, we need to go to Australia, yeah you do, you do. Let's go to the GC.
Ben Connolly:So next question what's the best advice you've ever been given?
Neil Redfern:Oh, do you know a quick answer for this, Helen?
Helen Williams:No.
Neil Redfern:Let me think I mean the first thing that comes to mind, but it's not advice I've been given, but it's just treat others how you want to be treated. I think if everybody in the world did that, that would solve so many issues, but I wasn't given that such Obviously everybody's aware of that, so I'd love to be able to have an answer like yours. Benway, you've mentioned like your dad has said something. Nothing against my dad. He's never given me any wisdom like that. He's never sat me down and said son, and he's been like oh my God, oh my God, like he's not. That's never happened.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, and what about you?
Helen Williams:Helen, I'm like always wear clean knickers, no.
Neil Redfern:I'm talking about again that I can attribute to someone that I know. When you say you know, I would love to have an answer where I say this person said this at this time and it really changed the way that I look at life. And I'll be honest, it's somebody has. It's not been good enough for sticking my mind.
Ben Connolly:I have. I've been to a lot of seminars and workshops and that sort of stuff in my life with people like Richard Branson and other big business people here in Australia and that sort of stuff. And whenever I get the opportunity, if I get the opportunity to speak to them afterwards or anything like that, I've always got one question that I always ask. That one question is If you walked out of here right now, ran into a 18 year old version of yourself, what advice would you give yourself, knowing what you know now and do you know what the really batshit crazy thing is? Go on, of the five or six people that I've asked that question to I think there's been six people I've asked that question to quite big names worldwide four of them have said Before we hear what that is.
Neil Redfern:Let's finish. No, I wanted to say what I was was because I just thought, is there any chance that ours would be the same? And I didn't want Ben to give us that answer. Right? What was your advice? Be then, helen. I love it, in fact, every time we have a podcast guest on now. I think this is a great closing question. So thank you, ben, for this. What advice would you give to an 18 year old? I mean, I'm only going back two years to go to that stage, obviously.
Helen Williams:No, for me, it would be what I want to have tattooed on my arm. No, I really just want to have the words you are enough, and I know it's cliche or it sounds like you know the live, laugh, love that you have on the walls and you know people take the piss out of. But yeah, I'm someone who's just insanely hard on myself and I think I've made my life so much more difficult because I have this underlying feeling that I'm not. And as I'm getting older and I'm understanding more about, sort of, you know, my upbringing and understanding more about different traumatic experiences that I've been through, understanding more about ADHD, which I know you know about Ben I'm someone who is inherently and I used to describe myself as the most down, happy person you'd ever meet and didn't quite understand why, and I think a lot of people take my energy as thinking I'm someone who's constantly someone who's happy, but underneath that, I'm someone who's so self critical of every little thing that I do.
Helen Williams:And now, as I'm becoming, you know, a lot more self aware and understanding that our self criticism and that low self esteem is something that's so entwined in ADHD as well, and getting to know myself better, I would just want to tell myself that I am enough because I'm someone who works myself to burn out, someone who constantly needs to feel like I'm the absolute best and chasing sort of recognition and for someone to say, helen, you're good, or like what you do is good, even though when people tell me that I don't believe it and I think they're just being kind. But I think the overriding thing for me that I still need to work on and really understand and believe and maybe if I had this from a younger age I'd be sort of further along is that I'm enough and what I do every day is enough, and as long as I'm trying to be a good person, then that is enough. So, yeah, I don't know if that answers you know what's funny?
Ben Connolly:Like when you're a kid, you don't care what people think. And then, when you're in your 20s and 30s, all you can think about is what people think of you. When you get to your 40s and 50s, you don't care what people think about you, and then, when you get to your 60s and 70s, you realise that people weren't fucking thinking about you anyway.
Neil Redfern:Yeah, so, so true. Yeah, so true. I just think that and your answer is brilliant, helen, it's a great answer. Mine would not would be to, not to basically again, it's been said before, it's not a new thing this but to find out what it is you love and just do that.
Neil Redfern:And I think that, especially in the UK maybe it's different in other countries and I don't know but there is just this societal expectation that there is a path and an order that you do things in and you need to get a safe job. You stay in that job and you know if he's anything you enjoy outside of that, well, that's just like a hobby. You know you, you do that, but that can't replace your job. And I would always say, like, if you can find something that you love doing, put everything into that, create a business out of that. That should be what you do and you don't have to be taking the safe route all the time. And what we do is is crazy as a job. You know, like we're talking to you now and this is like our job and that's come about through taking risks, and all of you know every self employed takes a risk. But I think especially doing what we do here is like that and I wish I would have done it sooner.
Neil Redfern:So I would just say you know, if you've got a passion for something, build your life around that passion. Don't let it just remain a hobby, because you can. Whatever it is, there will be a way of doing that. But you have to go against the societal expectation sometimes if you're to do that and that's not easy, you know, we are always taught. You know, especially over here would be you go to school, you go to college, you go to university. You then try and save up to buy a house. You need a job to do that, you need a nine to five to do that. You buy that house, and it's everyone's taking the same path. But that doesn't mean it's the right path for each person. It doesn't mean it's going to make them happy. So if something else makes you happy and you've got a real passion for that, then find a way to make that the basis of your life. I would say yeah you can.
Ben Connolly:you can fail doing something you hate, so your Mars will do something that you like.
Neil Redfern:Exactly, and it is the same. You know that what I said earlier is so true that if you do find something you love, you'll never work a day in your life. Yeah, we if Helen and I like what we've been through the past year and you'll know all about this, how many weddings you shot as well but, like, especially, we're trying to build flashmasses in our busiest every year alongside everything else that we were doing as well. Like, if you don't have a love for doing that and this passion to make it grow, there's no way we would have carried it on through. But it we did because we were able to work nonstop, like every waking hour, because we loved it deep down. We loved what we do and that's what carried us through. If we didn't, we would not be here now.
Helen Williams:Yeah.
Neil Redfern:Great question what's yours, Ben? I mean, you've already given so much good advice, but and then I'd love to know what this common answer is.
Ben Connolly:So four out of out of the six people that I've asked that question to don't know or obviously know each other, but they weren't asked all at once, so and they were asked over different time periods, over 10, 15 years. They said find one thing, do that, be the best at that, and then move on to the next thing.
Neil Redfern:Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Ben Connolly:Very much the. Don't try to juggle everything. Do one thing and do it really well, master it and then move on to the next thing.
Helen Williams:I'm shaking my head going I can't. There's no way I could do that. I saw there's so many different memes that come up on my Facebook and there's one particular guy with ADHD who always comes up and he's going to arrange a merch and he was wearing a T-shirt the other day and I was like, oh my God, this speaks to me so much and all it had on was side quests and I was like, oh my God, that's me every single day and every moment. I'll go to do something, start five other things and then complete none of them. So the thoughts of being able to be like really going to focus on one thing I've no idea how I would do that. I love the idea of it. I'm just not sure my brain could do that.
Ben Connolly:Did I tell you too, I guess, my one thing is being good at side quests. Did I tell you the ADHD joke?
Helen Williams:No.
Ben Connolly:How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb Do?
Helen Williams:you want to go swimming? Honestly, I think Neil has just been. When we first got together with so many times like what are you talking about? We're halfway through a conversation, my head's moved to the next one. I don't tell him and then I just start on something totally new and the amount of times, yeah, he's been like what? Like when did we start talking about this, helen? I'm like, oh, I just had the conversation in my head.
Ben Connolly:There's a couple more questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is. This is the fast money series, right? We've got a few of the normal questions. Now we're on the fast money questions, Right? First thing that comes to mind quick answers. What's your pet hate?
Neil Redfern:Ego.
Helen Williams:Yep, this is going to be really weird Sniffling.
Neil Redfern:What is it? What was that? Sorry, Helen Zoom just went. A bit funny then.
Helen Williams:Oh, mine would randomly be sniffling People are sniffle. Yeah, Neil, Neil, Neil. The other night just randomly sneezed in bed and afterwards was like blow your nose. I've never wanted to cause physical harm to this man, but there is something about sniffling that really gets me, gets me angry.
Ben Connolly:So so my pet hate is kitchen sinks, is the tap on the kitchen sink? When you turn the tap on and hits, the hits the bottom and it sprays up everywhere and you're constantly wiping the bench. The amount of almost torn a fucking tap off and thrown it across the flat Like it is just there, that's my pet hate. Next question so if you could have three people anyone over for dinner, who would they be?
Neil Redfern:Oh, I thought about this a few times because I listened to a podcast and they asked this question Helen, do you want to go first or I'm sure we did this on a previous podcast. Yeah, who did we say I?
Helen Williams:don't even know. I'd have to go back through my thing because I thought about that for quite some time, but I think we asked each other on get into know us episodes.
Neil Redfern:I don't know. We did. We did because your your grand words one.
Helen Williams:Yeah, I wanted my man she was flirting with so who was she flirting with, thor? So Chris Hemsworth, yes, but my dinner party, chris Hemsworth has to be there because he's like the ultimate after. Neil Redford, my biggest. Oh yeah, 100% like Chris Hemsworth. Oh dear Lord, the things I would do to that man. So yeah, can I just have Chris Hemsworth. He's quite big. I have two seats and I'd have my name there because I think she'd have a nice time flirting with him and you had David Attenborough.
Helen Williams:Oh, david Attenborough, yeah, yeah, yeah, just because I like animals and I think you'd be really interesting to talk to.
Neil Redfern:Right, neil, mine would be. I'm trying to think what would actually work as a dinner party. Basically, as well, mine would probably be. See, I wonder if Ricky Gervais I think he's funny, I think he's. He's also a brilliant philosopher as well. I've listened to him on many podcasts where he told me a bit more serious and I just love him.
Neil Redfern:Yeah, but to get the best out of Ricky Gervais, I'd also probably want Karl Pilkinson there as well. I don't know if you, if you, this probably doesn't mean anything to you, ben, I don't know, I won't go all into it. But people who are aware like Ricky Gervais used to do a radio show on a stage called XFM over here in the UK. This is how we first sort of made his name. He then had a producer on that radio show called Karl Pilkinson.
Neil Redfern:He wasn't on the show, he's just pressing buttons in the back, but he's like the most interesting buffoon idiot, basically you could ever come across and he started talking to him on the show and he was just like Ricky Gervais wanted to pick his mind all the time and so many funny things came out of it. So it's almost like to get the best out of Ricky Gervais, I'd want Karl there, and then Alex Ferguson, manager of football team. I support, yep, yeah, him there as well. It's a very weird mix, you know Jesus Christ and other people realistically. Anyway, in a way, ferguson being there is actually inviting Jesus, so it sort of works.
Ben Connolly:Who's yours, ben, I would have Robin Williams.
Neil Redfern:Cool, good answer.
Ben Connolly:I would have Richard Branson and I would have my dear grandfather.
Neil Redfern:How would that work? As a dynamic, like what was your granddad like?
Ben Connolly:I don't know, Robin Williams would tear the place up. I'd get a lot of really insightful stuff from Richard Branson and then I could just sit there and share and have that moment with my grandfather again. So that would be. Yeah, that would be mine.
Neil Redfern:Beautiful answer.
Ben Connolly:Wildest wedding story.
Neil Redfern:Oh, I rubbish at this because I've never got a good go to what's yours. Ben, while we're thinking, All right.
Ben Connolly:Years and years ago, when I was doing video, I rocked up at a house for a wedding. The bride was an older lady in her late fifties. She had three bridesmaids there that were in their late fifties early sixties. I'm wearing all black, dressed fairly well, rocked up at the door, knocked on the door and I heard this gaggle of hyenas come running to the door. As they've opened the door, the oldest one has gone, has looked at me up and down, turned her head back to the rest of them and gone. The strippers hit.
Ben Connolly:So you obviously had to strip. No, fuck, no. So, needless to say, I went in there and continue and started my job and I can tell you there is no one on this planet more sexually inappropriate than late fifties, early sixties ladies. I can't wait.
Helen Williams:I was getting.
Ben Connolly:I was getting pats on the ass, I was getting cheeky looks, I was getting winks. And then it got to a point where one of the bridesmaids had gotten dressed and she was wearing a silk or a clingy kind of dress and the dress was sticking to her from static. You know, you get static in the dress, yeah, who ways to get around that? You can either use powder, put a powder on their legs and doesn't stick, or you can use a moisturizer and again it doesn't stick. So I've gone to, she's gone. How do I get this to stop sticking? And I've gone. Well, I've got some talcum powder, because talcum powder will work. And the same lady who yelled out the strippers here has swung around in her chair and gone powder, is there a bottom to be dusted? And I just went fuck, get, eject, get me out of here. It was sexual innuendos all day and they were all in their early 60s and I was like 28 or something like that and it was yeah, last two, last two. Have you been arrested? No, no.
Helen Williams:I have many photos of me like very drunk, like placing myself over the hoods of police cars and I've been in the back of a riot van.
Helen Williams:I have been in the back of a riot van, but I wasn't being naughty. That was me once again being drunk, playing hell with the police officers and, for whatever reason, they let me go in the back of the riot van and I managed to watch all the CCTV over the city. So yeah, I've had many run-ins with the police whilst very intoxicated, but they seem to think that I'm harmless fun, so thankfully not no.
Neil Redfern:I've been stopped a few times by the police, oh, including only when driving, including one actually on the way to a wedding. I was not long after moving house, so I was driving to a wedding, and I hate the police when they're behind you. You just feel I feel really nervous. Remember just coming off, and then he came off as well. It's like, oh no. And then he's going down to a country lane and he's still behind me and then the lights come on. It's like, oh God, what have they done? And even though I've done nothing wrong, I still feel like, oh, what's happened? And he pulled on and said, oh, do you know why I've stopped you?
Ben Connolly:No, and he said, he's going to let you yeah.
Neil Redfern:He said do you have any insurance? He said yes, only knows to me. I now know that if a police car's ever behind you, they've got like number plate recognition cameras that are then doing scans on your car and stuff. He said he doesn't look like you do. I said I promise you I do. Who's it with Blah-da-blah?
Neil Redfern:Anyway, what had happened is when I'd moved house, I'd phoned up to update the details with the insurance company and they inputted my registration number one digit wrong. It was all fine. I was on the way to bridal prep, so not a ceremony. But I said I know that you're not going to let me go, but I am actually on my way to a wedding. I'm a wedding photographer. And he was like well, if you're not going to show us, I'm not going to let you drive on. So it was, oh God. Anyway, it was all sorted out. He was brilliant. And then he's told me to change from being someone who's a bit like you are guilty to we'll get this all sorted out, don't worry.
Neil Redfern:And I did say to him like, oh, I've really worried them thinking if I'm not allowed to drive, how am I going to get to the wedding? He said don't worry, if I've wanted to. We didn't start it out, I would have driven you there. I was just about to turn up to a wedding in a police car. I thought you would have looked ridiculous, but no, I've never actually been arrested, just stopped. Have you been arrested, ben? These are the oldie question.
Ben Connolly:I love Helen's story, helen's tearing the place up. But don't worry, she's just harmless fun. I haven't been arrested, but I have been. I got quite lippy with the police officer because they pissed me off and I said it's no wonder people fucking shoot you guys. And that didn't go down. Well, what's the promise? I was bundled up against the van with my hands behind my back, but they eventually let me go. But no, I haven't been arrested. So yes, I've learned better than to get lippy with them.
Helen Williams:So yes, Whereas they allow me to steal their hats and run off or start doing car wheels in front of police horses, whilst drunk, like whatever, I just get away with it.
Ben Connolly:It's gorgeous, harmless fun.
Intro:Yeah, oh well.
Ben Connolly:So last question Are aliens real?
Helen Williams:Yes, I don't know what my answer is.
Neil Redfern:I think it's so ridiculously short sighted to think that we are the only living species in in the. I mean, how big is the universe? It's it's. We can't even get our heads around it. It would be ridiculous to say that we're the old. So I don't believe in like a little ET type alien figure just coming down and like walking around and stuff. But there's definitely aliens out there. Yeah, it's definitely UFOs out there.
Helen Williams:That is a good explanation, neil, so I'm going with what you said. Okay, that's what he's having. Yeah, what he said.
Neil Redfern:So thank you so much for those questions for us. I hope we passed. It's really good questions and we will incorporate some of those into into the questions that we ask future guests. So just to finish off the podcast, Ben, and this has been amazing. Thank you so much for anybody listening who is maybe just starting out in wedding photography. Sorry to say that, Helen, just yawning, Sorry keeping you up for everybody listening. Ben, who is starting out in wedding photography, what would be your biggest one or two piece of advice that you would give to them? You know you're an amazing educator. You've got so much experience. If you delve back into experience, what are the one or two things you think yes, this is what I'll pass on.
Ben Connolly:The first thing, the first piece of advice that I would give, is to invest in yourself and invest in your education, as opposed to spending everything you have investing in gear and equipment.
Neil Redfern:Yes, that's brilliant.
Ben Connolly:That'd be the first piece of advice.
Neil Redfern:There is such a tendency, isn't? It is the people to look at training and look at the cost and think, oh, I'm not doing that, and then they'll go out and buy the latest camera for three, four grand and it makes no sense.
Ben Connolly:Gas, as we call it, like gear acquisition syndrome, yeah and see if they focus on their education, they're going to seek out the people, the mentors that are going to that fit with them, that are going to take them to where they want to go, and they'll seek those people out, whereas if you're just going down to your local camera store and buying the best camera and hoping for the best, are you really growing as a human? Because a mentor or seeking out the education means that you're growing as a human, whereas just buying gear means you're just accumulating shit.
Neil Redfern:Love that. It's so true as well. I think in my career I was guilty of that as well, because I always wanted like new stuff, but it was only when I started attending workshops myself. I feel like I actually started getting better as a photographer.
Ben Connolly:Yeah, the next piece of advice and I think probably just as important as the first part, is don't compete with other photographers, don't be a competitor in like this this sounds very Simon cynic kind of kind of thing but don't be the competitor, competing with everyone else for the same resources and the same outcome, because by doing that, you're just comparing yourself to the person next to you and while you're comparing yourself to the person next to you, you're judging yourself and you're highlighting your flaws.
Ben Connolly:You're really becoming aware of your flaws by doing that, whereas instead of looking down the road and going well, they've got 25 weddings and they're doing better than me, and I've only got 10. You know I'm a failure and blah, blah, blah. Because that's where your brain will go. I would give you the advice of look in the mirror and compete with that person and be better than you were yesterday, book more weddings than you did, book more weddings this year than you did last year and be the infinite player and do what you do to keep going and to prolong your existence and your gift and that sort of stuff, instead of trying to compete with everyone else until you run out of the will or resources to carry on. Brilliant.
Neil Redfern:I applaud that. Ben, thank you so so much. I know you say we say thank you a lot, but this is so deserving. I just hope you understand just how inspirational you are to listen to and we are so grateful to have you not just on the podcast, not just on the stream, but just in the flashmasses community, helping so many of us self and Helen definitely included to look at life even in a different way and to learn and grow, and we've done that. So much for listening to you. So thank you so much for your time. It's been amazing. If you'd like to find out more about Ben, the links to all Ben's socials and his workshop will be in the description of this podcast, and if you'd like to join us in the flashmasses community, you can do so at flashmassesco. But, Ben, thank you again from Helen and from me and from all of our listeners. You've been amazing, not just on the first episode, but on this one as well. We've never done a two-part before and we could probably do three or four parts.
Intro:Yeah, we could go on for hours.
Neil Redfern:Exactly yeah, so Ben, thank you so so much. We're really grateful.
Ben Connolly:That's all right, my pleasure, and thank you to you guys. It's incredibly hard to get to reach people and to touch people and to affect change in their lives without a platform to do it, and it's getting increasingly harder, with social media and everything now, to get a platform that people will actually listen to and relate to and that sort of stuff. And thank you to you guys and congratulations to you guys for creating that platform and creating the community that you have, because, man, this is one of the best communities of photographers that I've ever seen in you know my whole career, so you've done an awesome job, so congratulations to you guys.
Neil Redfern:Thank you so so much. Yeah, you're a beautiful soul, ben, and we love you. So thank you, ben. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you so much, and we'll see you in the next one.
Ben Connolly:I can give you an Australian phrase to wrap it up, if you like.
Helen Williams:Oh well, I always wrap it up with the usual one, but come on, let's see what you've got, let's go special this episode.
Ben Connolly:So the Australian phrase to wrap it up is see you later and stay out of yourselves.
Neil Redfern:I like it. I like how you said that as well, with authority, helen. Anything you can say to improve on that.
Helen Williams:Oh, of course I can Always remember to keep flashing, but don't do it on Zoom calls. That's inappropriate.