For the One Who Feels Alone: Hagar's Story (HELD Series)

Have you ever felt like you’ve been discarded? Maybe someone who once loved you- a spouse, a child, a friend- has walked out of your life. In situations like this, it’s easy to ask, “Where is God?” The story of Hagar beautifully answers this question. She teaches us that when the whole world walks away… God comes looking for us!!

Find this story in Scripture:
Genesis 16
Genesis 21:1-21

Mentioned on the show:
Psalm 139:1-12

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:04

Several years ago, a friend of mine was walking through a painful breakup. She sent me this heavy-hearted text which said I feel so discarded. Now I knew that this was a hard breakup, but that word discarded implied so much more than just a loss of a relationship. In that one word, there were feelings of being used up, unnecessary, rejected and unwanted. Have you ever felt like that, maybe, when someone who once loved you has walked out of your life a spouse, a child, a friend? Later, she and I spoke on the phone and she said to me where is God Like? Where is he? Her broken heart reminded me of the story of another woman in Scripture from the Book of Genesis, one who is often overlooked and undervalued, one who can teach us that when the whole world walks away, god comes looking for us.

Speaker 1: 2:06

This is Episode 43. Hi, friend, you're listening to Find Hope here. I'm your host, teresa Whiting. Author, speaker, ministry leader, friend and fellow-struggler.

Speaker 1: 2:24

This is a podcast about the messy, complicated, painful parts of life, but also the beautiful, joy-filled hope that Jesus promises. Each week, we dig deep into God's word together and talk about how His truth impacts our everyday lives. I'm not going to ask you to sit with me and have coffee, because I seem to have my best conversations while I'm just doing life. So I'd love to hang out with you as you walk or fold laundry or drive to work. You're invited to join me in pursuing the hope God promises, no matter where you are or where you've been. I pray you always find hope here. Let's jump in to today's episode.

Speaker 1: 3:14

Today I'm going to do another creative retelling of the story of Hagar. Hagar is one of those characters in Scripture who just seems like she doesn't belong, like she's not somebody that God would care that much about. And yet, as we know, as we study Scripture, we know God always has a heart for the most unlikely individuals, for those that the world would cast aside, that the world would discard. So I'm going to read her story and then we'll talk about it. I feel the slightest flutter and run my hand over my belly. I've always dreamed of becoming a mama, but not like this, not as a surrogate, not as a body to be used by others to bear the child they can't conceive. Most women celebrate the moment they know they are pregnant. I'm devastated and enraged because even a place as sacred as my own womb doesn't belong to me. It's times like these I most long for home.

Speaker 1: 4:21

It's been about six years since I came into the possession of Abram and Sarai. I've been a slave as long as I can remember. Belonging to Pharaoh was difficult, but at least I was in my homeland. I remember when Abram and Sarai came to visit and Pharaoh took her into his own harem, but when he realized he had been deceived by Abram and his wife, he sent them off. With sheep, oxen, donkeys, camels and slaves. I was hustled away from my homeland like so many heads of cattle or a herd of swine.

Speaker 1: 5:00

Just a few months ago, sarai came to me and demanded I sleep with Abram, never mind that he's 86 years old and I a young woman, or that I'm an Egyptian. The years of infertility and unmet longings have gotten the best of Sarai, for God has not fulfilled his promise. I overheard a conversation between her and Abram and I knew it was me that Sarai referred to. The Lord has kept me from having children. Go sleep with my slave. Perhaps I can build a family through her. She took me by the arm and led me to Abram's tent, no questions asked.

Speaker 1: 5:42

I had no choice but to give my body for the use of my master and mistress. Why pretend happiness? I despise Sarah. I hold her in contempt. I dread the thought of carrying and bearing this little one only to hand him over to others. Though I'm much lower than she is, in this I'm superior. I have done what she only dreamed of.

Speaker 1: 6:10

The once amicable relationship we had shared as slave and mistress has turned bitter. Recently I heard another heated exchange behind the tent curtains. Sarah, I was raging at Abraham, blaming the whole mess on him. You are responsible for the wrong. I'm suffering. I put my slave in your arms and now that she knows she's pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me. Abraham, worn down by years of struggle, puts up no fight. He shrugs off any responsibility to care for me and the child he has planted in my womb. Your slave is in your hands, he said. Do with her whatever you think best, whether it is her anger over years of infertility or my blatant disrespect, or the idea that a common slave can do what she cannot. Sarah's harsh treatment is more than I can bear.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Determined to find my way home, I wander into the wilderness but, unbeknownst to me, I've been followed. I cradle my belly, wondering what the future holds for us. It doesn't take long to realize this was a mistake. How could I walk back to Egypt, pregnant and alone? But how can I go back? Coming upon a spring in the desert, I drop to my knees and begin scooping water into my mouth, letting it run down my chin and drip on my tunic.

Speaker 1: 7:43

Suddenly, I hear a voice Hagar, slave of Sarah, where have you come from and where are you going? Hagar, I almost forgot the sound of my own name. It's been so long since anyone addressed me as something other than slave. I hear my name on the lips of the angel of the Lord. Why would he come and seek me out? I, who hold no place among his chosen people, cannot say why this God would come for me, only that he is here now. He sought me out in this desolate wilderness and, though he knows every detail of my story, he speaks to me, the rejected, abused slave girl. I tell him where I come from. I'm running away from my mistress, sarah, but I have no answer to the question and where are you going? He acknowledges my pain and makes a promise about my son. Then he asks me to do what I dread return and submit to my mistress. But before I turn and head back, words pour out of me like a fountain. It may be my joy at finally being seen and known. Unlike the gods I grew up with, this God saw my tears and heard my weeping. You are El Roy, the God who sees me. I cry Truly. I have seen him who looks after me. I, the female Egyptian slave, have encountered someone who is looking out for me. Maybe I'm not disposable after all. Though hard, I return to Sarah. Eventually, my son is born and I name him as directed by El Roy, the God who sees me. His name is Ishmael, which means, incidentally, god hears. Every time I call his name, I'm reminded of the one who heard me weeping in the wilderness and came looking for me.

Speaker 1: 10:29

14 years later, the sound of a newborn cry pierces the air and along with it the joyful shouts and laughter of Sarah. This is no ordinary birth. I am bearing witness to the miracle of the Lord creating life in Sarah's dead womb. God has fulfilled his promise. The next few years are filled with wonder and awe for Sarah, abraham and little Isaac, but as he grows, the realization dawns on me that Ishmael and I are no longer needed here. One day there is a grand celebration. The whole household is celebrating the weaning of Isaac and my son mocks him. That is just the excuse Sarah needs at last to banish the two of us for good. Over the sounds of music and celebration, I hear these biting words Cast out this slave woman with her son. For the son of this slave woman shall not be heir with my son, isaac. After all these years, we are still simply this slave woman and her son.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Though this is difficult for Abraham, he sends Ishmael and me into the wilderness with a loaf of bread and a skin of water. It doesn't take long for the water to dry up. Since I can't stand to watch my boy die, I settle him under a bush and go far enough away that I can't hear him weeping, and I weep as well. Once again, I hear my name being called from heaven. What troubles you, hagar? You're not, for God has heard the boy's voice where he is Up. Lift up the boy and hold him fast with your hand, for I will make him into a great nation. God opens my eyes and I see a well of water. I fill the dried out skin and give my son a drink, faithful to his promise.

Speaker 1: 12:37

God heard not just me. He also heard my son. As Ishmael grew, god was with him. His extravagant grace is beyond my understanding. Ishmael was not the promised child. He and I appear to be merely a blemish on Abraham and Sarah's beautiful story. And yet God cared for us. He sought us out. He revealed himself to me personally and intimately. He came to this desperate, lonely slave woman and called me by name. He heard the cry of my teenage son and rescued us. What more could I ask? I have met the God who sees me. I have seen him who looks after me. Sometimes God brings us into the wilderness so we can hear His voice more clearly. We may come by way of a divorce, a diagnosis or a financial crisis. Sometimes it's by way of a job loss or the loss of a friendship or the rejection of a prodigal child. We may feel like Hagar or like my friend, who felt completely and utterly rejected, discarded, but we can be sure that there in that wilderness, god has come looking for us.

Speaker 1: 14:04

What's so stunning about Hagar's story is she's introduced in Genesis 16 as Sarah's, or Sarahi at the time Sarahi's female Egyptian servant or slave. First of all, she was female in a patriarchal society where women were marginalized and often objects of discrimination. If that were not enough, she was Egyptian. What place could Hagar possibly have among the matriarchs and patriarchs of God's family? She was a foreigner, an outsider. She grew up worshiping idols and following the pagan customs of her culture.

Speaker 1: 14:49

But by far worse than both of those was the fact that Hagar was a slave. She was most likely acquired by Abraham and Sarah during their journey through Egypt. Was she sold alone? Did she go with her family? We don't know. There's no answers to these questions. But as a slave, hagar did not have dignity or value or freedom. She didn't even have autonomy over her own body when she found herself pregnant. Is it any wonder that she despised Sarahi, that she looked at her with contempt? I'm not justifying her actions. I'm just saying that I think I can understand where they came from, and scripture tells us that Sarahi treated her harshly so that she fled. We don't know. That could have been anything from demoting her or physical abuse. When we find Hagar out in the wilderness, she runs away. Basically, now, depending on where you are in your walk with God, psalm 139 might either feel like a threat or a comfort, but I would think to Hagar, if she heard these words, they would have been a comfort. I know that over the years they have been a huge comfort to me.

Speaker 1: 16:13

Listen to Psalm 139, verses 1 through 12. O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely. O Lord, you hem me in behind and before you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast. If I say surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me, even the darkness will not be dark to you. The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. No matter where we go, god is there, he is with us. We can't outrun Him, we can't outcry Him, we can't be in such a deep, dark hole that we're out of His reach.

Speaker 1: 17:45

And what amazes me is that, of all people, god went searching for Hagar. Ishmael was not the Son of Promise, hagar was not part of the chosen family. And Genesis 16.7 says the angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert. That word found means to seek out, to find by looking for. He was searching for her. He was on a mission to find her and he called her by name.

Speaker 1: 18:19

If you read this story of Hagar, you'll find it in Genesis 16 and 21. It's so fascinating because no one in this story calls her by name, except the angel of the Lord. When he comes to her twice, he calls her by name Hagar, servant of Sarai. I've heard that the sweetest sound that anybody ever hears is the sound of their own name. And if you read the narrative, abraham and Sarah don't ever refer to her by name. They say my slave, your slave, her, she. And yet the angel comes and he calls her by name.

Speaker 1: 19:03

No wonder she was so ecstatic that God came looking for her. She did something no one else in all of scripture has ever done. She named God. She said you are El Roy, the God who sees me. I have seen the one who looks after me. I want you to think about how have you seen God look after you? Think back over your life. When has he come looking for you? When has he met you in a dark, desolate place? Not only does God see, he hears. God told Hagar to name her son Ishmael, and Ishmael means God hears, and we see him following through on who he is.

Speaker 1: 19:55

In Genesis 21.17. It says God heard the boy crying and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her what is the matter? Hagar, do not be afraid, god has heard the boy crying as he lies there. So we see, god sees, god hears. A few weeks ago I was reading in Isaiah and I came across this phrase when Hezekiah was crying out to God. And he sends a message to Hezekiah and he says I have heard your prayers and seen your tears. Well, that sent me on a little bit of a hunt through scripture. I love to trace the threads of ideas through scripture and so I looked up this idea of God seeing our tears and hearing our prayers and I saw it showing up over and over again.

Speaker 1: 20:50

In Psalm 6, verse 8, the psalmist says depart from me all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea. The Lord accepts my prayer. In Psalm 3, verse 4, it says to the Lord I cry aloud and he answers me from His holy mountain. Psalm 286 says blessed be the Lord, for he has heard my cry for mercy.

Speaker 1: 21:21

Psalm 40, verses 1 and 2, say I waited patiently for the Lord and he inclined to me and heard my prayer. Psalm 116, 1 and 2 say I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy, because he bends down to listen. I will pray as long as I have breath. And verse 8 says he has saved me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling. Verse 11 says In my anxiety, I cried out to you. And this is what I love. When you and I are in a dark place, when you and I are crying and praying and it seems like we're waiting and we don't know if anybody's listening, we know for sure that God hears, that he sees. It makes me think of the story of Leah, and I know that in her story it says God saw that Leah was hated. She was in a terrible situation in her marriage and God saw, he knew. He did some amazing things for her, which we'll talk about in another episode.

Speaker 1: 22:38

We think about Hagar. She grew up in Egypt. That was a nation that did not follow God. They had idols. They worshiped all different deities, and here's what Psalm 135, 15 to 17 says the idols of the nations are silver and gold, the work of human hands. They have mouths but do not speak. They have eyes but do not see. They have ears but do not hear. Nor is there any breath in their mouth. When Hagar met the God of Israel, she met a God who has eyes, who has ears, who is attentive to those he loves.

Speaker 1: 23:21

There are so many beautiful lessons that we learn about God from Hagar's life. We see him once again as a rescuer, as the initiator, as the one who comes looking for us when we're not necessarily even looking for him. We see God again reaching down toward the least likely. We see him as a promise keeper. God had made a promise to Sarah and Abram that they would bear a child, and even though they tried to take matters into their own hands and figure out a way that they could help God keep his promise. He didn't need any help. He performed a miracle on their behalf. But he also kept his promise to Hagar. He promised Hagar that her son would be a great nation, and when it looked like all hope was lost, god heard his cry and God came to their rescue again.

Speaker 1: 24:24

When the people in your life tell you that you're not important whether that's with words, with actions, with silence, and you find yourself in a desolate place in a wilderness, you need to know that God is not finished with you. You can be sure that he is seeking you out. Listen for him, open his word, hear his voice. Where is God, my sweet friend? Where is he? He has come looking for you. He hears your weeping, he sees your tears and, right this moment, he is calling you by name.

Speaker 1: 25:13

Thanks for hanging out with me today on Find Hope here. To find anything I mentioned on the episode, go to teresawightingcom slash listen. That's where you can find all the show notes. Also, I wanted to let you know that I am available as a speaker. Last week I had the privilege of speaking at my alma mater, clarks Summit University in Chapel and I love more than anything connecting with listeners in real life. If you're involved in any type of ministry that has speakers come in, I would love for you to reach out and make a connection with me. I'll put a link to my booking info in the show notes and finally, I'd like to leave you with this prayer from Romans 15-13. May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.