From Heartbreak to Strength with Jodi Rosser (HELD)

What if your greatest heartbreak catapults you to your greatest growth? This is the question Jodi Rosser asks in her book, Depth: Growing Through Heartbreak to Strength. Join me as I discuss with Jodi the myriad of ways God grows us during difficult days. Episode 44     

About Jodi:
Jodi Rosser is an author, podcaster, and speaker who helps women grow deeper in their faith and stronger in their relationships. Through God's strength, she emerged from miscarriage, divorce, and losing a dear friend to cancer to help women everywhere experience hope, joy, and purpose through life’s unexpected storms. She is raising two sons (One in high school and one in college) in Southern California and would love to connect with you on her website or Instagram.

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Connect with Jodi:

Website: jodirosser.com https://jodirosser.com

Instagram: @jodi.rosser https://www.instagram.com/jodi.rosser

Facebook: @jodi.rosser https://www.facebook.com/jodi.rosser

Twitter: @RosserJodi https://twitter.com/RosserJodi

Pinterest: @jodirosser https://www.pinterest.com/jodirosser/

TikTok:@jodirosser https://www.tiktok.com/@jodirosser

YouTube: @jodi.rosser https://www.youtube.com/@jodi.rosser

Jodi’s book: Depth: Growing Through Heartbreak to Strength

Jodi’s Book Recs:

How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting by Milan Yerkovich, Kay Yerkovich 

Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa TerKeurst

Anonymous: Jesus' hidden years...and yours by Alicia Britt Chole 

Hope Restored Trauma Intensive

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Music: Home (Inspirational And Uplifting Acoustic Guitar) by Daniel Carrizalez

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:04

I invited Jodi Rossaron to discuss her book Depth growing through heartbreak to strength. You guys, it was like drinking from a fire hose of grace and hope. I'm sure you're going to enjoy this conversation. This is episode 44. Hi, friend, you're listening to Find Hope here.

Speaker 1: 1:30

I'm your host, Teresa Whiting. I'm author, speaker, ministry leader, friend and fellow-struggler. This is a podcast about the messy, complicated, painful parts of life, but also the beautiful, joy-filled hope that Jesus promises. Each week we dig deep into God's word together and talk about how his truth impacts our everyday lives. I'm not going to ask you to sit with me and have coffee, because I seem to have my best conversations while I'm just doing life. So I'd love to hang out with you as you walk or fold laundry or drive to work. You're invited to join me in pursuing the hope God promises, no matter where you are or where you've been. I pray you always find hope here.

Speaker 1: 2:21

Let's jump in to today's episode. Well, hello friends. I'm excited to introduce you to Jodi Rosser. Jodi is an author, podcaster and speaker who helps women grow deeper in their faith and stronger in their relationships. Through God's strength, she emerged from miscarriage, divorce and losing a dear friend to cancer To help women everywhere experience hope, joy and purpose through life's unexpected storms. Jodi, I am so excited to have you on the podcast and I want to just thank you for being here Before we jump in, can you tell the listeners just a little bit more about yourself?

Speaker 2: 3:04

Yeah, I'd love to. Well, first of all, thank you for having me, Teresa. It's so fun. We met gosh wasn't that 2020? What was it Just last year, 22 at the Hope Writers Conference we did, yeah, super fun. So thank you so much for letting me be a guest on your podcast.

Speaker 2: 3:19

But, yeah, I'm a mom of two. I have a 16 year old and a 20 year old, so I'm coming into the end of like launching kids and I'm a single mom. Sadly, I walked through a divorce almost 10 years ago and so that really broke me. It was so much of what God has birthed my whole ministry and what I do now. It came from what I learned during those years, so I think that that's something powerful.

Speaker 2: 3:40

If someone's walking through something hard, I like to encourage them that sometimes your greatest heartbreak can catapult you to your greatest growth, and that's what happened to me and that's what I share in my podcast. I have a podcast called Dep. I like to talk about trees with their deep roots. It's kind of my favorite thing to talk about. I'm sure we'll talk about it today and I like to talk about broken pottery, and I know that's something you're passionate about, Teresa, with finding the beauty and the brokenness Because I feel like that is a message God gave me is that I did. I may have a broken heart, but I wasn't a broken vessel. So that's something I'm passionate to help other women see as well as they're walking through their unexpected storms, whether it's the same as me divorced, miscarriage, cancer of a friend or cancer of a loved one or if it's something different, because we all walk through our hard times. So I just love to come alongside and help others in their grief.

Speaker 1: 4:22

Yes, yes, when I was reading your book I was like Jodi is a kindred spirit. I can just just the way you were talking and the things you were talking about, the way that we feel broken, how God still shines that light through us, but I'll let you talk about that. I did want to talk about your book Dep, because you share three personal heart breaks in that book. Can you tell us more about them and a little bit more of your story?

Speaker 2: 4:48

Yeah. So my first heartbreak happened when I was in my twenties and I experienced a miscarriage and up until that point I never really had walked through something where life didn't quite go as I hoped or expected. And I had had my first son and I was pregnant again. I was so excited and I went in for my 16 week ultrasound and we couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. And I remember staring at the monitor and just just so crushed and devastated, like what. This is not what I had hoped for my life. You know, this isn't what I planned for our family. And just the first time my heart had just been shattered. And I remember that summer it was in June I just had a really hard summer. I was walking through my first grief, and so that's my very first initial heart rate.

Speaker 2: 5:28

But God taught me so many beautiful lessons that next year about how our hard times become times to help someone else through something hard. So again, a year later, another lady had the same circumstances where she lost a baby at 16 weeks exactly the same timeframe and everything and I was able to come alongside and help her. So my life first was birth that year, which is the verse in 2nd Corinthians, 1, 3, through 4, which talks about we go through like God comforts us so that we could go and comfort others. And so I think when we go through these hard things yes, they're so difficult and I don't want to ever just kind of sugarcoat it like you can use that to help someone else, because you know what it's hard Like I was crushed but then I saw how God redeemed that and brought purpose to that pain a couple years later. And so that's now something I like to kind of shed some light to someone who, like can be redeemed.

Speaker 2: 6:12

It maybe won't look like you still hoped, maybe that loss of a child or loss of a baby or whatever is your loss, like that is still a deep hole in your heart, but I can still find a way to redeem it in a way that, in a beautiful way. So that's the first time I would experience heartbreak. And then, maybe eight years later, I want to say was when I walked through my divorce and I think this is the one was that I would call my greatest heartbreak. It just crushed me. It crushed my family. I had two boys that were little at the time, they were six and 10. And they quickly turned seven and 11 that next year. But it was just, they were little and it was like I'm helping them walk through grief and I'm walking through grief and I'm telling you, trace said, god taught me so much that year. I call it my hardest year of my life, but my most growing year of my life and so.

Speaker 2: 6:54

I think the two go together and I'd like to talk more about that because that's one of the messages in my book. But at the time it just devastated me. I felt like that broken pottery, like my whole pot just shattered right in front of my eyes. And then my last heartbreak was about two years after that and I thought at this point, okay, god, I've endured enough. But my dear, dear friend diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and four months later she passed away and I went with her to her chemo appointment. She was just one of my best friends and so I walked through that with her and that was very hard. And so those are the three story lines that I share in my book.

Speaker 2: 7:27

Sadly, since then there's even more heartbreak. My mom has dementia, and so now I'm walking through that, and so I wish I could say it's like a one and done, like you walk through your heart thing. It God teaches you life lessons and you're like done, check, you know. But that's not how it works, because he keeps wanting to grow you. He keeps wanting to develop your character and give you a purpose and calling, and a lot of that comes from our hard times, and so I just think we continually grow each time and doesn't make it easier.

Speaker 2: 7:53

I think I do have more tools in my tool belt each time to like endure the grief better. And you know I run to God quicker, you know, but I definitely think each time it still knocks you off your feet. It's like the rug gets pulled out from under you and you're just like why God, why now? Why me? Yeah, so that's one of the messages in my book is I want to help someone walk through from heartbreak to strength, because I feel like I came out on the other side stronger, but it wasn't my own personal strength, it was strength from God, as I relied on him.

Speaker 1: 8:19

I love how you share what God did in and through and those were a lot. Those were some big, big heartbreaks that you walk through and I agree, I mean we, we get to check the final box when we're in heaven, like done right. It's over. That's great, and you know your. Your book is pretty personal. Tell us, was it hard for you to share some of those personal things?

Speaker 2: 8:46

You know what? Honestly, I'm kind of an open book. I share a lot of my life with people, but I have to say I didn't want to ever admit I was divorced. To a lot of people Like I, there was a lot of shame attached to that one, a lot of embarrassment. We were a strong Christian family and I just I'll be real honest, that was probably the hardest one to share, but I feel like God taught me so much through that that it was like I have to share this. I have to Right. At that time my blog was birth.

Speaker 2: 9:09

So 2014 was when I in January was when the marriage ended, and then in October is when I started my first blog and I felt like God was saying share what you're learning in the midst of your pain. And it was just that was the tagline of it. It was heartbreak to strike sharing what I'm learning in the midst of my pain. It was I was reading so many books, teresa, and God was teaching me so much. It was like there's other people hurting that maybe aren't having the time to read like you are or taking the time to read, and you could help them with just sharing a couple of things. And so that's where it started, very just like I want to help others, and then God just kept asking me to share more, and I do think there's a difference, though, in sharing and over sharing. So I think you have to guard your family. So I'm very careful of what I share about the divorce. I share all my own personal story, share where God's grown me, all the things that I worked through. I struggled with anger and how God really developed that, and now I love to talk about emotional literacy and help people name their feelings and work through things like so much was birth out of that. So that's my personal story to share. So I'm feel very comfortable sharing anything about that, but I don't ever share anything that would not be mine to share or that would be something I wouldn't feel comfortable having my kids here. You know I were a family and I don't want.

Speaker 2: 10:19

So I think there is a balance between sharing and over sharing, and I feel like in my book, even I was very careful of how much I did share that anything personally of mine. I love to see that again. That's you take our broken pieces and we say, god here, use them right. These are the things I walk through. Use them and I can do that, but if they're not my broken pieces, I can't share them.

Speaker 2: 11:09

So, anyways, I do think that there is just again, if someone's out there and they have a story to share and involves brokenness, like in a divorce or something, I just think you always can share your part. You just have to be really careful how much you share. That's not yours, that would be my or point them to God Like what can you share of God? Helped me through this. That's probably what I shared most on my blog. Teresa is like ways God showed up big and the way he kind of became more intimate and like personal to me in a way I never experienced before. That was something I was very passionate about sharing, because that's the part of God's faithfulness, that now someone else walking through grief and say, wow, if God was that faithful for her, well, hopefully he'll be that faithful for me, you know, and so that's the part that ignites this hope. But again, that's something I was very passionate about sharing too.

Speaker 1: 11:53

And that leads directly into my next question, because we're in a series right now called held and just the way you were describing that I want you to talk a little bit about. How did you experience God's presence, him holding you through the various heartbreaks that you've walked through?

Speaker 2: 12:09

Yeah, I love that you're doing a series on that, by the way, just think that's a beautiful way. There's a song just be held, I think it's by casting crowns. Have you heard it? Yes, so beautiful. I used to play it on a loop because that's how I felt, like I just felt like I was holding you, so I love this question.

Speaker 2: 12:23

So, first of all, I thought I had a strong relationship with Jesus before my divorce. I would say I was. You know, in God's word is. I'm telling you I didn't even have a clue how like intimate it can be until I walk through with this heartbreak, because I think when you don't have the strength to get out of bed, you do not have the strength to parent your kids, you do not have the strength to or the wisdom to know what to do, and you just have to cry out to God like, give me wisdom today, give me your strength, like you get to this. But he just shows up in this most beautiful, tangible way.

Speaker 2: 12:55

Sometimes it was an early morning wake up. My kids were young, so we were going to bed. They were going to bed between seven and eight, and so, guess what, I was going to bed soon after that, and so a lot of my early mornings were like four or five in the morning. I was up early and God was just sharing things with me. I work. Jesus calling was a really important devotional that helped me so much that first year. And Sarah Young writes from a perspective of what Jesus is saying to you and I just felt like this words, like one. A couple of them say stuff like grab my hand and walk with me, or I will never leave your side, or I'm here with you. It just felt so real. I just felt like that was God's words, like he was sharing those with me and I just I did. I felt held. I felt there were times where I didn't have the personal strength and ability to get through the day. For some reason I was able to get through the day with God's help and it was just as simple as God. Help me. I need wisdom today. I need strength. My prayers weren't anything elaborate. Where I was, he was just asking for help and he just would show up.

Speaker 2: 13:53

So there was there's a chapter in my book where I talk about God is in the details and there's a situation with my niece and she was getting married and it was on my in-law's side and all these things were. I need a God to work through some details. And I'm telling you, we showed up in such a beautiful way that I actually felt for the first time that God cares about the small details of our life, not just the big ones. And I think when you're maybe and maybe this was just me I felt like he cared about the big things, like you know, where are you going to go to school, who are you going to marry your kids? But like these little details of, like, how I'm going to get to this wedding, like I didn't seem like a big thing on God's list, right.

Speaker 2: 14:25

But when I had this breakdown over it, god showed up in such a beautiful way that I thought he does care, like he cares about all of the things, from the big to the little. And and I remember just crying like God, you care about this. Like this seems so minimal. You know, this person has cancer, this person has it. Like this is just such like a dry need, a ride to this wedding. But like he showed up in such powerful way in my time of need that I felt like he cares about the big things but just as much about the little and I just I felt. I felt heard, I felt seen, I felt known. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt held, I felt like he was there with me in such a beautiful way.

Speaker 1: 15:02

Yes, yes, and that's exactly what we were talking about. What we've been talking about just how God shows up in ways, usually when we're in the most desperate situation. But then I love that you're bringing in also in the little things, and that's what the whole walking with God is all about. It's about walking with him moment by moment, the big things, the little things, and he's right there with us and it seems like he's really shown that to you throughout your life, in the big and the little. So I appreciate you sharing even that story, thank you. In your book you have an acronym for the word strength. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? And then also, do you have a favorite part?

Speaker 2: 15:43

of your book. So the cross-tick is strength, and each of the letters I kind of break down how I walked from heartbreak to strength. This is not linear, this isn't like step by step through. I step oh, you're done with grief. Grief is not like that, it's very all over the place and so these things kind of all work together. But I kind of walked through what I felt was kind of how I went through it. And again, it's not a step by step process, it's a journey, y'all. It's a journey so, but anyway. So under each of these heathers I have like a chapter for each of the heartbreaks.

Speaker 2: 16:12

Okay, so S is seek God and invite him into your pain. I feel like when you just get that news, like when you just look at the ultrasound, you can't see the heartbeat and you're just like fresh and devastated and sadness just come over you. Really, there's not a lot you to do except just invite God into the pain and say God, I don't know how to get through this without you. You know, seek him and invite. A lot of people turn their backs on God in the middle of their pain. They, they run away from God and they say I don't know why a good God would allow this to happen to me, and so they turn the opposite way, and I want to encourage someone to not do that, because you're already going to have a lot of loneliness and grief. Grief feels lonely and if you don't have God on there helping you to like, you're just going to feel so alone, and I already felt alone. So I just want to encourage you to run to God in your pain, and I love this quote by John Orteberg.

Speaker 2: 16:56

It says you ask someone when they grew the deepest in their faith, the answer will be suffering. But if you ask someone when they walked away from their faith, the answer will be suffering. So you have a choice when that happens. So why will encourage you right now to seek God and invite him into your pain too? That doesn't mean you have all the answers and you love the circumstances you're in. It just means you're asking the God of the universe to walk with it through. Walk with you through it. It doesn't mean you have to like it and it doesn't mean you have to have all your questions answered. You're going to have doubts, you're going to have questions, but take them to him instead of turning your back on him. Then the T is tearfully.

Speaker 2: 17:29

Allow yourself time to grieve and process the emotions you can't heal unless you feel, and so this is so important to go through the feelings, not avoid him not you know, binge watch Netflix and try to like hit it out of your head, like, yes, there are certain things you need to do at times for self care, but but you got to a. Then go back and address these feelings because they are going to be their sadness, you know, frustration, anger, all the feelings. You know that you have to work through them. So those are probably the first two. If someone's like just got the news, you know the divorce papers are just given to them, the, these is where I'd say start Okay, and honestly, you might be here for years. You know you might even be here, for this is, this is not going to happen like in a month. So I don't want people think like, oh, check, I did that, I processed one of the emotions Like this, this was years. But the next part of the acronym is when you start to kind of see it from God's eyes and this is harder to do those first months. So if you're in the first couple of months like I don't want to negate, like that's important that you do the grief part, but then they'll come a time where you kind of have to start to go. What am I going to do with this? And so R is replace your finite view with God's infinite perspective.

Speaker 2: 18:37

I believe that God is not going to waste one here that you're walking through. I truly believe that he will find a way to use it, even if it's just to help one other person that comes after you could be bigger than that, like Teresa and I, like we now have books and between the two of us and podcasts and things that God asks us, and maybe God's not asking you to do that. But there will be a way where he says I want to redeem this, I want to take what you've walked through and I want to use it in a bigger way, and but that's not right at the beginning. That's farther along in the path. And then he is embraced.

Speaker 2: 19:06

God's character development in the midst of the chaos and this is another one. I think these kind of go side by side. Sometimes the actual way God's going to redeem it is he's going to grow you, and no one wants to hear that. Right, it's like I don't want to be chiseled. I know I'm sorry, no one likes that, but guess what? If you want to grow your roots deeper in your faith, you have to go through hard things. No one wants to be chiseled. No one likes that. That's part of the growth in the process. Okay, I'll go quicker because I'm taking a long time. Okay, and never lose sight of God's grace. This one is because some heartbreaks have shame attached to them, and so I did a whole thing on forgiveness and vulnerability, and I think it's an important part of the book.

Speaker 2: 19:39

You have praise to God, even as your heartbreaks. This is so hard to do but I believe when we can still say God, you're worthy to be praised. Even I'm walking through this hard thing. There's power in that, finding the little things to be thankful for, the small gifts. It doesn't have to mean you're thankful for the actual heartbreak, finding something like the gift of a friend or a encouraging word or. One of my favorite chapters is, in that section, called the gift of a day and it's this day I had with my friend, jeannie at the end of her life that I didn't know we were going to get to have together and it didn't change the circumstance that she was still dying and honestly, it was a hard day but it was like this gift of time with her that I got to have and we planned out her service together and it was just this beautiful time but it was like I could thank God for it, even though it wasn't what I wanted to happen to her.

Speaker 2: 20:26

That makes sense so sometimes our praise doesn't necessarily mean we're happy for the circumstances. T is trust. God is good when your mind is doubting and you don't understand. But my favorite section of the book, I'd have to say, is this last one, h honestly share your story and help another hurting heart. Because this is where I believe we see sometimes why we have to walk through what we walk through.

Speaker 2: 20:47

Like I don't know why we go through hard things, but I have seen now each one of my heartbreaks. A year later or two years later, a friend goes through the same details or almost the same or something super close and I'm able to come alongside and help her. And I wouldn't have been able to help her if I hadn't walked through that. And that doesn't mean I like I'm happy I walked through those hard things, but it just gives it purpose and I think, if we can look at it that way, that our stories, our broken stories, are then used to Help someone else, it makes us realize that we're all part of this together. Like God I, I remember having healing, more healing, like my story became a little more healed because I was able to help her and her healing you know, if that makes sense, yes.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Oh, that would be my favorite section, because you were. You were talking about how you know God was asking you to put all these things in the book and you're like, wait, god, I don't want to put all that in my book. And that's how I felt when I wrote my Bible study. I always said I don't want to be the sexual brokenness lady and the the phrase that God whispered to me over and over was Teresa, no one else can tell your story. And the thing is, no one else can tell our story, and our story is going to bring healing to somebody else who Maybe they don't have the same story, but they have some kind of something where they can relate to us and we're the voice that can speak hope into them and to speak strength, and so I think that that's so beautiful.

Speaker 1: 22:10

I do want to circle back to the letter N never lose sight of God's grace, because I think so many women deal with shame, and and that is something that I really feel like we as a church need to help we need to help be part of the solution and not part of the problem. We don't need to Put shame on people. We need to help them understand how Jesus has set them free from shame, so talk a little bit about what you experienced, where you experienced that shame and how you broke free from that.

Speaker 2: 22:43

Yeah, well, it's interesting I did. I felt very I don't know unusable Is that the right word? But I felt like you know what? I'm a divorced woman. How could God use me now for his kingdom work? You know and I that is not true that that message was a lie, that I had believed in God's like. I need to get that Panged around.

Speaker 2: 22:59

So I went to this woman a faith conference in September of that year, 2014, and I went because Lisa Turquoise was there. She's my favorite author and I had no idea the other authors at that time I hadn't read as many books as now that I've read but Lisa Bavir took the stage and her book Girls with Swords had just come out and she stood up on stage and told this story and I share about in the book, about the movie Terminator and how this woman you know they had come back in time and there was a protector that was coming back to protect her and then there was someone come Back to try to kill her, right, and so the protectors telling her but you're gonna do all these things and she's like what? Like she just had no idea and and, and I and she said at that point in time, lisa's like. I think that Sometimes our spiritual warfare has to do about who we're gonna be and not about who we are right now. And so it was just this aha moment of like, because I did feel like I was being attacked and I just thought, oh my goodness, maybe this is about who I'm gonna be like I had felt like God couldn't use me like, and then I had this little thought in my mind and I believe it was God's words like you have a broken heart, but you are not a broken vessel, I can still use you. And it was just this freeing thing of like wait what? Like I'm divorced. No, I can still use you to. The divorce doesn't disqualify you. If anything, it qualifies you even more because who can speak into someone who's walking through a divorce? Then someone who's walked through one like you are the person that can speak hope to that person in a way that no one else can, because they haven't walked through the broke, that broken road. And it was just this powerful moment where I felt like whoa, and I really believe it was like this Moment in time where I was released from the shame and I felt freedom in a way I had not felt for nine months and I didn't want people to know about the force. I just felt hidden by well.

Speaker 2: 24:41

Month later, I announced it to everyone in my email list. I got up early one morning and God helped me write this email and he's like send it to everyone on your list. I was like what? And it said in there that I was walking through divorce and was all about God's faithfulness through. It was a beautiful Reminder of God walking through it with me. But I'm like why would I tell everyone this? And he was like do it. So I did.

Speaker 2: 25:00

I went to the shower and I was freaking out, teresa. I was like what did I get out of the shower? And I read my emails and Teresa, they're the most beautiful people Saying this is what I'm walking through. And I just remember thinking, wow, you know.

Speaker 2: 25:16

It was a powerful moment that I'll never forget, because I sat there and I realized this is how we connect with people, not with our successes. Look how good I am. Like no one cares about if anything, they're like please stop talking. But if I say this is a struggle of mine, and look how God showed up, now Someone says this is a struggle of mine and you help me see how I can see God in this. And it's just this beautiful way God asks us to connect with others in community.

Speaker 2: 25:44

And One of the things I love to talk about with the trees is we want to have deep roots going down. That's depth with God. But sometimes we want to have our roots go wide and in California we have these trees called the sequoia trees and they're the biggest trees in the world, the tallest, and I went there with my kids many years ago and I was so excited, like here, like how, how deep to these roots go, like these are the tallest trees in the world, they must have the deepest roots. And they're like no, they don't. And I was like wait a minute, wait a minute. You can't tell me that this is been life messes. What do you mean? How do they withstand storms? And then they said they don't go deep, they go wide and they interlock tree roots with the trees next to them. And that's power in community.

Speaker 2: 26:22

And I just sat there like that's what it's all about our brokenness, our broken pieces.

Speaker 2: 26:27

Yes, god wants to use them to grow you, to have you have character development, for you to have a new perspective on life. That's that deep rooted growth. But he also wants you to take that broken story, share it with another hurting heart and then you're gonna interlock tree roots with that person and you're gonna be able to help them and Give them wisdom that God's given you. And it's that's that life. First, that God's comforted you now Go comfort someone else, and it's just this beautiful way and then that person gets to go and help another person. It's this beautiful ripple effect us taking our broken stories and not holding them so tight that we don't tell anyone, but instead loosely saying God, if this is the person you want me to share now, again, don't overshare.

Speaker 2: 27:07

There's a difference, right, but like, ask for wisdom, what do I share? What's important to share? Mostly, share about God. God showed up this way for me. I want to tell you that he can do that for you and that's gonna ignite hope. Your pocket is kind of called fine Hope here and that is gonna ignite hope in such amazing ways in the hearts of other people hurting because they need to know that God's faithful in the middle of their heartbreak. And so I just am passionate about helping people get unshackled from the shame. Yes, freedom that I can hear the passion.

Speaker 1: 27:38

I can see it. It just dudes out of you and I was gonna mention that that our goal is, to you know, to provide hope for women, and I think that's exactly what you're doing. Tell us a little bit about the prayer and truth statements at the end of each chapter. How can? Because I feel like your, your book doesn't just, it's not just something you read, but then it's kind of a little bit interactive at the end of each chapter. And how does that help the reader?

Speaker 2: 28:04

Yeah. So one of my favorite books was called when God Doesn't Fix it, by Laura's Story, and at the end of each chapter she had a myth and then a truth and it was just a great way to like take the chapter and like the main idea and just have this tangible thing and I could like cling to that. And so I was like when I write my book someday I would like to have something at the end of the chapter that kind of just says this is the powerhouse statement, that like you need to remember when you're in those times that you're feeling hardship, or when you're in those times where you're feeling weak, or when you're in these times when you're just like doubting God, like these are the truths. So I I try to be real intense about the truth statement being something that will help them resonate with what I was hoping for them to get out of it. And then my my, my book coach at the time was like you know what?

Speaker 2: 28:45

I had a prayer at the end of my forgiveness chapter. He's like I think you should add a prayer at the end of each chapter. It's like that's a great idea and I write it in a way that they can pray it, so it's in first person. So my very first prayer, I pray over them. So chapter one, the prayer is me speaking the prayer over them. But every other chapter the prayer is where they can actually say the words like they are praying it, cause sometimes people struggle with knowing what to pray in the middle of grief they're just in survival mode and they're like I can't think of the words. So these are actual prayers that you can just read. They're in like me and I statements and you could just pray it out loud and ask God, invite God into it. And there's one on at the end of each chapter. Has I wanted something tangible that they can do when they're walking through their heart season?

Speaker 1: 29:25

So Jodi, you are doing such beautiful work. I know that you you speak, you write. How can our listeners connect with you?

Speaker 2: 29:35

So I have a website called JodiRossercom and everything's there. They want to go there and then kind of find everything. So there's a link to the podcast there. On my podcast I love to share stories of other people. Again, there's something powerful about a story Someone else walking through their hard thing and how God showed up, and so I have lots of different stories of.

Speaker 2: 29:53

So maybe your heartbreak isn't the same as mine, maybe you haven't walked through a divorce, but maybe you have walked through infertility and have people that have shared their stories on that. Or maybe suicide there's someone in your family that's taken their life from suicide. Like I, have different heartbreaks because not always everyone is what I walk through. I want to give practical encouragement for someone that's hurting. So there's a link to the podcast.

Speaker 2: 30:15

There's a link to my book. There's also a link to my blog, which is called Heartbreak to Strength. I have guest writers that come on once, once or twice a month and then I also write on it and I share just whatever God's teaching me in my life for a truth that maybe I've learned a couple of years ago, and I just offer encouragement and hope that God is not going to waste this and God can use it and that God wants to grow you through it. And that's the point of my book depth. What if your greatest heartbreak catapults you to your greatest growth? Because that's what happened in my life and I think it happens in a lot of people.

Speaker 1: 30:43

Well, this next question is going to be really hard for you, because I only want you to name up to three of your favorite book recs. So either one, two or three books, um, and we'll limit it to that, and then people will just have to check out your podcast to hear some of your other favorites.

Speaker 2: 31:02

Oh, I can do it, I can do it. My top three. I've got them for you, I got it.

Speaker 2: 31:05

So, my very, very top one is how we Love Our Kids by Mylin and Kay Yerkovich. It's a book about parenting, but it's also a book about growing yourself. They talk about how a lot of times we look at parenting what can the kids do? But it's like what, what do we need to work on for ourselves? And so it's the book that I call it my self-awareness book. It's this book that opened up my eyes to who I was and like, wow, I need to work on myself. Um, my other life changing book is Unglue by Lisa Turkerst, because I struggled with anger and exploding. This book really helped me and for someone, that emotional literacy is really big for me. So this is another one like that. But I just felt like some people aren't exposed, they're stuffers. But she talks about how that's not always the most healthy way to do it either, cause you stuff and you stuff and you stuff, and then you sometimes throw these retaliation rocks, and so I think it's actually a great book for anyone. If you don't have to be on the anger exploding side, like more I was, you can. You can still need a lot of work if you're on a step or side, so just feel like it was a great way to kind of look at yourself and become aware like which one am I and then see how you can grow from there.

Speaker 2: 32:08

And then my third book that I'll recommend is when I recently read, and it's called Anonymous, by Dr Alicia Britjoli, and this book rocked my world. She talks about how your hidden years is where God grows you and just sees beautiful ways. And she talked about Jesus. If you look about his life, you live 33 years here on earth that his public ministry was only three years. So that's about, you know, 30 years of hidden, 30 years of hidden growth. And then that was preparing him for those three years. And so she talks about like an iceberg. You see the top of it, but really the majority of it is that hidden time.

Speaker 2: 32:41

I feel like there is a lot that happens in those hidden years where no one else has seen it but you and God time with you and God in your Bible, time with God reading a book time, and that's that hidden year. And you know what? Sometimes we want to say, oh, we've learned this and have it be like something we share, but sometimes God's like I'm just growing you in this hidden years and it's just time, or you're anonymous, you're no one's knowing anything, and I just think it's just. It was a really phenomenal book. I think you'll really love that one as well. Anyways, that's the only three I'll share, even though there's way more, but I will stop there.

Speaker 1: 33:09

Great. Thank you, Jodi. You created a resource for the listeners. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Speaker 2: 33:16

Yes, I'm so happy to do so. This is called hope for the hurting heart kit, and it includes three things. It's 10 verses to encourage your hurting heart. I think there's certain Bible verses that just God used in my life to help me in the middle of my grief, and so I share my favorite 10. And then I have seven prayers when your heart is breaking. Some are for prayers of strength, prayers for helping with our kids, and there's just many more. So seven of them to help you. And then, last, god's truth to combat your not enoughs. You know, so many times we feel like we're not enough, not strong enough, not all the things not good enough. I wanted to combat each of those not enoughs with the truth in the Bible, and so I give that as well, and so that's a resource they can get Um when they subscribe to my website. This is one of the three resources you have access to. There's actually even more, but this is one I put together just for people that are hurting.

Speaker 1: 34:01

Well, thanks for offering that and then, in closing, I just want to ask if you will speak directly to the listener that is walking through heartbreak and I and I know I feel like you have been speaking to her the whole time, but maybe, if you just have anything else that you want to say, just speak directly to that listener.

Speaker 2: 34:21

Well, first I want to tell you I understand, I know what it's like to wake up one day and your life circumstances are not what you had hoped or wanted in your life. Whatever that is looks like for you, I am so sorry. I see you and I want you to know that I understand and I know how hard it is to see any purpose in it. I know how hard it is to see that God could be working behind the scenes. I know how hard it is to see that there could be a path that he's using this to grow you. You're just in heartbreak and you just sort of wondering why. So, first of all, I wanted to say to you that's okay to be there. Just sit in that and invite God into it and say God why, and journal and lament. Be honest. There's something amazing about just honestly sharing what you're feeling to God the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it and just inviting him into it and just asking him how are you going to help me grow from this? I think that is a question, though, that maybe keep in your mind, like how can I grow from this? Because I do believe he wants you to grow from this. And I would say to you that that doesn't mean you have to grow from it immediately.

Speaker 2: 35:21

Just know it takes time. Grief is a time. It takes time to heal. But as you're healing, if you are seeking God, this is what I realized. I didn't even know all those books I was reading. I thought they were just helping me in my healing. Little did I know at the exact same time they were helping me grow deep roots in my faith and I just didn't even see that yet. That was that hidden growth, and it was like this light bulb clicked on later in life when I realized he was healing me and growing me at the same time. And so just seek him for healing, seek him to get through the day, ask him, pray God, give me the strength, give me the wisdom. Open up your Bible, open up a devotional, like Jesus calling, and just pray the words over it, and he will fill you with strength in a way you never knew possible. You'll get through your days and you'll think how did I do it? And it's because God is infusing that in you. And just meet with him daily. But then just know they'll come a day when God will say it's time for you to share your story. It's time.

Speaker 2: 36:15

Maybe you get a phone call, like I got from my friend, saying this woman at my church just lost a baby. Will you talk to her? And you go. Okay, I had no idea how much healing was going to come from that conversation.

Speaker 2: 36:27

But there will become a time where God is going to then say are you going to keep that heartbreak close in your hands? Are you going to open them up and surrender it to me and give me the broken pieces to use? And so I want you to know that that doesn't have to happen immediately. That will happen someday and I pray when it does happen you're ready and you're open to share, because there's beautiful healing that comes from it. But right now, where you're at, just invite him into the pain and ask him for grace and strength and comfort and love. Ask him to show you moments where he sees you, that LROE, like Hagar, the God who sees you like. Just pray for moments. God won't want to know. You're here with me and I'm telling you he's going to show up in ways that are going to blow your mind.

Speaker 1: 37:05

Thank you so much, jodi. I am so excited for the listeners who are getting to hear this episode and just the encouragement, the passion, the way that God has used the things in your life to just really be a light to other women, so I appreciate you being here. Thanks so much for being my guest.

Speaker 2: 37:24

It's been a joy. Thank you, Teresa, for having me.

Speaker 1: 37:30

Thanks for hanging out with me today on Find Hope here. To find anything I mentioned on the episode, go to teresawightingcom that's where you can find all the show notes and remember to hit that subscribe button If you want to go the extra mile and leave a review. That would be amazing and it would mean so much to me. I'd like to leave you with this prayer from Romans 15-13. May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace and believing, so that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope.