Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#21: Hookups, Boundaries in 30s, Workplace Harassment
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Ever wondered how to set boundaries while having a blast with mocktails and cocktails? Sip along as we reveal our top picks for non-alcoholic liquor alternatives like Ritual and the Dirty Pelican Skinny Organic Mixer, and dive into the fun of UNcuffing season and hot girl/hot boy summer. We round things off with an idea for an unforgettable karaoke night, complete with our favorite song suggestions!
Let's get real about the rollercoaster of hormonal changes and the impact they have on our lives and relationships. From intense PMS emotions to societal pressures, we lay it all out. Hear about our enlightening encounter with a "sober curious" mentee in Chicago and the importance of community support on the path to sobriety. Through genuine conversations, we share personal highs and lows, navigating everyday challenges with authenticity and humor.
Virtual connections can be as powerful as face-to-face ones, and we explore this with stories about interactions with Zack Peters, Carson Kressley, and Fernando J. Garcia. Reflecting on our wild college days, we then shift focus to the nightlife scene, discussing the importance of balance and the personal journey of navigating bisexuality. Wrapping up, we emphasize establishing boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships, even in the face of workplace harassment and family dynamics. Join us in celebrating strength, resilience, and the joy of setting boundaries! Cheers to that!
Mocktails: Gin Alternative - @ritualzeroproof
🫒R : Lychee Blossom Martini - #DirtyPelica #mixdirtypelican#yourmocktailsfavoritewingman
Messy: Vodka - @luksusowavodka
Mocktails Or Messy podcast
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Mocktails or Messy Celebrating 30s Boundaries
Speaker 1I met this hot lesbian. She's like I only usually like hook up with one guy a year. Wait, she hooked up with you To get a 10 in the face. She had to date a shorter guy. You know what.
Speaker 2I'm not fucking kidding you. They were working you.
Speaker 1I know I'm like wait is this like a scam to play me? They scammed you. You know my therapist listened to the podcast. Oh my gosh, yeah, he gave.
Speaker 2You were so upset with me that we didn't talk for six months.
Speaker 1Welcome to Mocktails or Messy, a show that encourages you to let your messy side out. Whether you're a mocktailer like me or enjoy a cocktail like moi, we are your host. Ryan Frankowski, a retired party animal.
Speaker 2And Kelly Misgorski, another retired party animal.
Speaker 1In today's episode, we are going to celebrate the boundaries that come with getting older, in your 30s and establishing boundaries.
Speaker 2Woohoo.
Speaker 1I know it's kind of a buzzword topic.
Speaker 2Like, we want to invite you to our party, buzzkill oh shit.
Speaker 1Okay. So let's just start off with the buzz first. So welcome to the party. Mocktails are messy. We're happy to invite you. I want you to have your mocktail today and a cocktail, okay. So what are we having? It's ritual. It's non-alcoholic liquor alternative. We got gin, we got vodka, we got tequila All ritual. It's definitely full of flavor.
Speaker 2Yeah, definitely gives you that little bite, that actual liquor gives you.
Speaker 1Exactly. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2I do I do? You got to try it.
Speaker 1With that, we have your favorite Dirty Pelican D, we have your favorite Dirty Pelican, dirty Pelican.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I'm excited to actually try this, yeah.
Speaker 1It's actually also nice, kelly. It's skinny and organic. So when I say skinny, low in sugar, I saw that I'm really digging the Dirty.
Speaker 2Pelican, so I'm excited to take a sip. This is just Lux, salsa lux. Also, this is a polish vodka, polish potato vodka. This is a tried and true we normally have on our house because my husband is polish another ryan polak he claims it's just as good as gray goose. Not sure that I would go there, but it is a good, solid vodka.
Speaker 1Yeah, no, no. It's been a staple, like whenever we were getting messy back in the day. Dirty Pelican Skinny Organic Mixer. Lychee Blossom Martini. It comes with lychee puree lime juice and orange blossom.
Speaker 2All right, let's get to it. Let's try it out. I'm excited.
Speaker 1I have it with a non-alcoholic liquor alternative ritual.
Speaker 2Okay, these are cute glasses.
Speaker 1Yeah, cheers, bitch, cheers. Welcome to the party. This is actually just as good.
Speaker 2Are you ready? Okay?
Speaker 1I like it yeah.
Speaker 2Wait.
Speaker 1Seven grams of sugar.
Speaker 2That is damn good.
Speaker 1Bomb.
Speaker 2I would recommend Cheers bitch. I would say 10 out of 10.
Speaker 1I know 10 out of 10. Seven grams of sugar Fuck.
Speaker 2Damn, that's good. What's the catch?
Speaker 1What do you think the catch is?
Speaker 2I think they just got the right concoction. I mean it still is. The catch is it is seven grams of sugar. So is this your one drink for the day? Not a big deal, but if you're going to have a couple of these, then it adds up.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm just going to try to find the catch right now. It says it's vegan.
Speaker 2It says it's vegan. It says it's organic.
Speaker 1I like how there was actual sediment in it, like leachies. What's up? Okay? Ingredients filtered water. Organic agave nectar. Organic lychee puree. Organic lime juice. You know, dirty pelican is right. I want to get dirty with you, kelly, on the pelican glass too, baby cheers. Okay, is that how you're supposed to hold it?
Speaker 2I've always held it like this, but that looks better so I have butterfingers and if I was holding it, holding it like that, it'd like slip out here, try it does this look classy?
Speaker 1or does?
Speaker 2that look classy. You want me to try yours, the non? Oh yeah, I want you to try yours, the non-.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, I want you to try mine, so I'm not going to try yours because I am five months. I know You're sick of that whole storyline the five months.
Speaker 2No, say it, it's something to be very proud of. You should scream it.
Speaker 1Yeah right, I mean, listen, I still want to embrace my messy friends, my drinker. I know that tastes exactly like mine, doesn't it, even though that's technically a gin alternative and yours is vodka.
Speaker 2That's good. So I've had some alcohol alternatives that were just like nasty, nasty flavor. That's something I could enjoy. I really could, yeah, so I would say 10 out of 10 for that.
Speaker 1You know so many people. Now I feel like want to like it's. It's like out of cuffing season. You know what cuffing season is? Uh, you might have to explain it to me so cuffing season is usually in the fall, like right before.
Speaker 2Like the holidays hit, it's like okay, like you know, the summer's ending oh, cuff them up, so I have someone to take to the family party, or just like, get cozy with yeah netflix and chill right like the hot girl hot boy.
Speaker 1Summer is out, we are down to cuff. So yeah, now that it's like we're fully out of cuffing season, entering this hot girl hot boy summer know what we should do a karaoke night.
Speaker 2That would be be fun.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, maybe I'll mix it up with something that's not Jason Mraz, I'm yours and not sweet.
Speaker 2Caroline, you have to do Jason Mraz and I need to do Britney Britney Spears.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, you do have a little what she sounds like oh, my God. Poor.
Speaker 2Brittany, don't take offense to that.
Speaker 1Oh my God, I have to tell you about my weekend in Chicago.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, I can't wait to hear about it, but I think I need you to make me another drink, Holy shit. Okay, All right, girl Like okay this is actually my favorite drink I've had on the pod.
Speaker 1I do love it and I'm so last last minute this was just a last minute thing that you grabbed this at tj maxx. What the fuck I mean? I don't even know like what you cannot get there, like underwear, socks, shoes like lychee martinis, apparently baby clothes, kitchen essentials, lychee martinis even the glassware shit so I would like to just talk about.
Speaker 2If I start crying today, like, oh, don't worry about me, I'm just pmsing, okay, right. So like I, when I'm pmsing, you should expect for me to be mentally unstable for at least three to five business days, you know.
Speaker 1I love how you say business days.
Hormonal Issues and Networking
Speaker 2Yes, and what I mean by that is this is day two. I've been angry for like two fucking days now. I'm just like angry for no reason. Nothing has changed in my life, nothing is going wrong, everything is just normal. But I'm angry as fuck, like today. I went to Whole Foods with my kids and I normally feel so safe and welcome there. It's like my safe space. Thank you, you just set it down. There was this other customer shopping and they reached around me for some food or whatever without saying excuse me, and I immediately felt like a burden to a society and I wanted to cry.
Speaker 1Oh my God, you are on your period.
Speaker 2Right, well, it didn't come yet. The PMS comes before the period. Oh okay, you are on your period, right, well, it didn't come yet. The PMS comes before the period.
Speaker 1Oh okay, sorry, it's been a while since I dated girls.
Speaker 2And I just want everyone to know that when someone says they're having hormonal issues, believe them, they're not choosing to feel that way, they're not choosing to be a bitch. It's a hormonal issue Like, believe them, I don't want to feel this way. I'm like hostile right now. God bless your soul, you got to drive me home after this. But and I just want to say that, when women are ovulating, like their faces get more symmetrical, like their faces get more symmetrical, they're carrying less water weight, their breasts are perkier, their skin is better, and right now I'm the complete and utter opposite of that. If I call you honey, dear sweetie and you're not a child I mean bitch. I'm calling you bitch when I'm bmsing and I say, oh honey, don't worry about it.
Speaker 1I mean I need to put this thing down. I'm gonna hurt somebody with this what is this this? Was in my drink. Is this a little wooden mixer?
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1We should have. I had like the little cocktail, all of things, but they left her in the car.
Speaker 2Well, thank you for making me another drink. I'm going to need it today. I know it's been a rough weekend, so you were in Chicago.
Speaker 1Well, I'm sorry you're going through all that.
Speaker 2You went to Chicago.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And I can't wait to hear about it.
Speaker 1I mean, you know I'll be brief about it. You know me always very brief, right to the point, bulleted. I need you to like abort me or revert me when I'm going off on the other tangents.
Speaker 2Go ahead, get started on the story, and I'm going to, you're going to cut me up.
Speaker 1If I decide to go off the tangents, I will Chucky style oh, don't get me excited.
Speaker 2I know that's our favorite movie.
Speaker 1Chucky's going to get you.
Speaker 2Can you say the rated R one?
Speaker 1Oh Chucky's going to get you. Can you say the rated R one? Oh Chucky's gonna fuck you. I don't know why that like where did that start? And that's not even Chucky's voice, that's just like some scary voice.
Speaker 2That's like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something? The saw voice? Yeah, it's like the saw voiceas chainsaw masker or something the saw voice yeah, it's like the saw voice want to play a game.
Speaker 1I can't wait for october so I met my first while I was in chicago. I met my first sober, curious mentee. Oh my gosh, they're a party animal, they're in the cycle, they work in nightlife. They just kind of gravitated towards the podcast. They've already listened to it and, yeah, we kind of knew each other through Instagram and then I saw that he was in Chicago. I reached out to him. He's connected to the same podcast sponsorship advertisement company that we're working with.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1Yeah, cool, yeah. So, francesco, he allowed me to say his name.
Speaker 2Is he okay with that? Yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, hi Francesco, he's allowed me to say his name. He's a really good dude, you would love him. Yes, I would Just like down to earth, like lovable, like he basically set up a hotel for me when I arrived. I was going to stay with my family.
Speaker 2What you didn't stay with your family.
Speaker 1So I was and I kept saying like they kept extending it because I was doing podcasts for us.
Messy Stories and Connection Through Screens
Speaker 1I know that you weren't thrilled to not be on the Zoom and it's just to promote Mocktails are messy, yeah, okay, I feel like it's kind of nice to just be involved in, you know, networking, also connecting with people that understand what it's like, and then you know, you just have like a like. Remember when we sat down with Zach on the Zoom? Oh, yes, no filter with Zach, love Zach, have like a like. Remember when we sat down with zach on the zoom? Yeah, no filter with zach. He was like the easiest person because he's been doing this for years.
Speaker 2Listen, when you connect with someone, that's like through a screen though, like zoom, people know it's hard, that's, it's not possible. I didn't think it was possible and we will. Zach and carson c yeah, I felt like they were right here, like we did connect with them through a screen, which makes me want to see them in real life, because it's like if that type of connection like can happen through a screen, like can you imagine in real life.
Speaker 1I know, and I mean I even think of, like Fernando Garcia.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1That was really insightful. I mean granted, mean, granted. Like you know, I think he was running out of like a work meeting and he was like fuck I'm not ready.
Speaker 2I'm not prepared, but oh, I just felt like he was so much like more mature than us.
Speaker 1He's so much more intuitive. I mean god, I guess he didn't go to notre dame shit yeah, I only went to slippery cockppery Cock. Oh rock, oh I mean Slippery Rock, you mean Slimy Pebble.
Speaker 2So something about Slippery Rock. There's these rocks, so there's like a really rough rock, and then there's four huge boulder rocks that the last one. It's polished. Okay, so by the time you graduate, you're a polished individual. So by the time you graduate, you're a polished individual. Yeah, and I was climbing all over it when I was a senior, thinking, oh, this is my rock, I'm a senior.
Speaker 2And somebody comes over to me and they're like do you know, the seniors piss on that rock Ew. And I was like, oh, do they now? I don't think it's rained in a while. Maybe I should get off of this rock.
Speaker 1I do think that you kind of have evolved. You're much more mature. I don't know if I have been, but that's why, you know, I've been taking a pause. And you know, just dealing with like these people in Chicago, or not dealing with like just learning so much about like the nightlife community, it's like people are realizing like, hey, I gotta have a balance, because when you work in nightlife and when you're out at the bars bartending or djing, oh god, if you didn't have a balance and that was your work life you'd die yeah, you die, or you'd look like hell.
Speaker 2Oh yeah.
Speaker 1You know what I mean Always a little bit like constantly tired Hungover, not so much because you're just taller and sister to the roof and I know we understand it because we were bartenders for years.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, at the BBT, at BBT and where else. That's close. We closed that shit down. Oh my God, I know I miss it. Maybe one day we'll have to reinvent the BBT. One of my messiest stories that I'm remembering, as we talk about pride and being bisexual, for me it was this time. I broke up with my ex at the time and then like started to like go out to the clubs and like I was like I remember one night I kind of was like hanging on this girl. She was really hot, tall blonde. She told me that she's a lesbian.
Speaker 1Hi and she was like you know, I'm strictly kitty, or something like that. Yeah, but one guy a year she likes to have fun with.
Speaker 2I'm already excited. I can understand that, because not all men know what they're doing. Clearly, not clearly not I had to be trained like a dog oh my, all I'm saying is I understand the logic there.
Speaker 1So, like I said, I meant this hot, like blonde lesbian. She's like I only usually like hook up with one guy a year. Wait, she hooked up with you. So this, the story gets better. I think she was like playing, like way too hard to get, and like we were dancing and making out and then, like I don't know what it was, something was happening and then, like I kind of got a little drunk and then flipped over to this other hot girl didn't know that they knew each other ended up having such a blast and like the, the taller blonde lesbian, I just kind of thought like, oh, maybe she's gonna back out, like am I gonna really put all this effort in? And like you taller blonde lesbian, I just kind of thought like, oh, maybe she's going to back out, like am I going to really put all this effort in and, like you know, have this great time? And then, like we don't go home together because she's like, ah, maybe you're not the right one.
Speaker 2You've never been one to chase.
Speaker 1No, I don't like to chase.
Speaker 1Like she was wanting me to chase her. And then the other girl there was a little bit more my like you know, sexy, like I think she was like half asian, like half like middle eastern maybe I can't remember. Yeah, like she had like big boobs, big butt, like she was really sexy too, but just in a different look wise, and she was shorter, so I didn't feel like we were like the same height. Yeah, even if you are really hot, like as a guy, like I don't know of any guys ever like oh, like I love a girl that's the same height as me.
Speaker 2Some do and I have some friends that are married that the woman is actually taller than the man.
Speaker 1I mean listen, I think that's amazing, but like is that ideal? I don't know.
Speaker 2Maybe I don't know, it's not my thing, but I just want to put it out there that that does exist. Yeah, I think love is love.
Speaker 1Hey, and Nikki Glaser said it best Like she wanted a 10 in the face. So to get a 10 in the face, she had to date a shorter guy.
Speaker 1You know, what I'd rather have like a seven in the face and have the height. Oh okay, that's because you like to wear those heels, girl, you like to be. So, yeah, lesbian. Didn't want to chase her. She was like too much like effort and like we were having a good vibe, but it was just like okay. And then so I got a little messy and like switched over in the same club, just got a little bit too much to drink and then switched over, went home with the curvier, short girl. Then we were hooking up on the couch. The blonde lesbian comes into the door like 10 minutes into hooking up.
Speaker 1I'm not kidding you, they were roommates I'm not fucking kidding you, we're working you, I know I'm like wait, is this like a scam, like are they trying to play? You I mean it was fucking hot though. So, like I did get my, you know, I did get my rocks off with the short one okay, then the short, straight one she busted the door down. She was like you would fucking do this and like she literally was saying that to like her roommate oh my god, she's like of course, you do this all the time to me and it's like I'm like wait, you're a lesbian.
Speaker 1Do this all the time. Do you like, what like? And so I asked the girl that I was hooking up with you? Yeah, she is. I mean, I said to the girl I was like why are you doing this all the time to her? Like I just said, after we kind of like had fun and wrap things up, she's like, oh my god, she's so dramatic, I don't even take her seriously half the time.
Speaker 2I love her, she's my girl like the ride or die, fucking drunk and I walked in on my roommate fucking someone that I was talking to. I would do the same fucking thing and just make it as uncomfortable as I could make it.
Speaker 1Yeah, Like she but it'd be like kind of a joke.
Speaker 2It's like oh, but finish please.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, yeah, exactly, she's like enjoy yourself, but then she did believe she ended up like going taking off. Oh my God, wow I did not expect that.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean Fuck this, wow, I did not expect that.
Speaker 1Yeah, I mean, that was just one of my messy stories. I figure we got to talk about it. One messy story each episode. One messy story each episode. Do you have a good messy story that you'd like to divulge?
Speaker 2in Honey. Do you want to like jog my memory, Because I feel like I'm married with kids and my brain is just like mush right now.
Speaker 1I mean that Daytona trip cut like mush right now. I mean that that Daytona trip cut you didn't kind of mention in me like how you rate, like now, like moving forward. You have limited time being a mother and being a podcaster. You have like limited time to spend with like just new people.
Speaker 2I have zero breaks. I mean my eight month old has suddenly started like trying to walk, yeah.
Speaker 2And then I have a almost four-year-old that is like she's like a little brainiac and needs constant so smart stuff like attention and things to do and I know everybody says their kid's smart, but this one is like a book she is and for the longest time I'm like I don't want to say that, yeah, because like everyone says it, because I'm just like I'm keeping it real, you know, but like I know I hate when everybody's like my little jacob is so smart oh my god, you know how smart they are, or they're so cute.
Speaker 2Look at them. They're so cute, they're like eating shit in the corner. We did have a special request, which I do want to say, that people want Waiting people. No, but I.
Speaker 1You didn't finish the rating.
Speaker 2You're right, you're right, okay.
Speaker 1Card. You're such a space cadet, Get on some Adderall.
Speaker 2Noted and working on it, so we both have a lot of old patterns that we've broken. For the longest time, you and I were the same person where we did not have boundaries with people.
Speaker 1We didn't. We wanted to be people pleasers.
Speaker 2We were people pleasers and anyone who comes into our life. They are our friend. If they're reaching out to us, we're responding back to them.
Speaker 1Yeah, we're trying to hang out, we're going. It's exhausting.
Speaker 2It ends up not being a good time, or it feels like a chore, and then we're like emotionally exhausted after the experience.
Speaker 1Yeah, because you got to hype it up, you got to be like the wingman or the icebreaker and I'll say, the longest it's ever taken me to recover from a bad social experience was two weeks. Damn girl, you are sensitive. Two weeks it's terrible, okay, why?
Speaker 2What's the longest it's ever taken you to recover from a bad social experience?
Establishing Boundaries and Healthy Relationships
Speaker 1I think it was a week for sure A week. But never two, because I think if I would get a repetitive Monday feeling the same way, I'd be like okay, it's been a week, you are good yeah. Talk to your therapist but, don't harp on it, don't cycle. You know, my therapist listened to the podcast.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh Really.
Speaker 1Yeah, he gave me some feedback.
Speaker 2Do you want to share?
Speaker 1He basically I told him about an episode that was kind of like we got our hands slapped on the wrist and like it was like we got yelled at and we were like getting in trouble with people and he was like no, I think that you really let your heart out there. You were vulnerable. You were not being like inappropriate in a way that you were like using names. It was just saying like hey, you opened up and you were probably as nice as possible and I know that you're a nice person like you've never actually been an asshole no, but then I get a bad rap with people that are now like being I don't know if it's like a mock tailor.
Speaker 1I hold the mirror in front of them now and I'm like, hey, I want you to know, I've been there. I'm not perfect, I've been messy, I've been a mess, I've been a crazy, but this is the mirror. You haven't done that to me. You pretty evolved.
Speaker 2I mean, I did it back in the day when you outed me to my bro I didn't like just say hey, sean, I have something to tell you right, he asked me point blank if you were gay and at the time you were dating a man and I didn't we hadn't like established if you were gay or bisexual, whatever it was right and I didn't answer. I just kept staring. He was. I was in the car with your brother. I remember where like I even remember what road we were on yeah, and he was like answer me, like is he gay? Because I know he is right and I said yes and I shouldn't have I shouldn't have just kept repeating well, talk to him.
Speaker 1I guess it wasn't like you outed me but you were so upset with me that we didn't talk for like six months yeah, it was hard. But you know I mean now looking back I'm like you kind of were pushed to the fire, feet were to the fire it was but looking back.
Speaker 2I could have done better.
Speaker 1Yeah, and you've evolved and I apologize and I that was me mostly putting the mirror to your face, but I'm listen, I want you to put the mirror to my face too, like I want you to say, and when we say that, it's like you know, we want to hold each other accountable we, I think we do a good job at doing that, and I don't know if we've always looked at it as like putting the mirror to the other's face.
Speaker 2But I think now going, I think that's a really cool thing, like I think that like, if one of us isn't getting it, it's like honey, I'm putting the mirror to your face, yeah, but I have started something new where I am now rating my experience.
Speaker 1Yeah, one out of 10.
Speaker 2Like. So if I go out and I hang out with a friend whether it's a new friend or an older friend I'm going to rate my experience Right One to ten. If this experience is five and up, then I'll see them again. You know I am flexible. Yeah, but if it's five and down, I'm probably not going to see them again. That makes sense. So like a one through ten scale, I do a one through to see them again.
Speaker 1That makes sense. So like a 1 through 10 scale.
Speaker 2I do a 1 through 10 scale. Yes, and like yeah, as long as it's above 5.
Speaker 16 to 10 is going to be like hey, maybe we'll like revisit that friendship or hangout session.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if there's too many negatives, it's just going to keep lowering the score. It's just how I feel at the end of the day. I listen to my heart now and I just don't have time anymore. I have kids, we're doing the pod.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And I don't have time for people that aren't being nice to me.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 2People really like to throw in some bitchy fucking jabs.
Speaker 1I know and I don't think we're sensitive. I some bitchy fucking jabs. I know and I don't think we're sensitive. I mean, listen, we can have a little sensitive card maybe, like certain days or whatever, like maybe things are going on and it's just like our lives are a little overwhelming, but in general I think we're pretty like thick-skinned we are and I just like I am a gemini and I have like two different sides.
Speaker 2But I actually start with good energy. Yeah, and if you're going to have bad energy. I'm going to give it back to you, honey.
Speaker 1Good for you. Cheers to that, giving it back to them. See, I had some bad energy, like and recently, and I was in Chicago and, like you know, I love this person in particular, this person in particular. And like they're amazing when they're in a good mood and they're amazing whenever it's like going into, like you know what they want to do and what they're interested in and how like you're conducting it, but like somehow, like it was just like I know they were playfully sparring with me, like just kind of like throwing a jab here, throwing another jab there because I'm a little inappropriate, I'm a little loud and obnoxious, but like I'm an icebreaker.
Speaker 2Some call you a loudmouth.
Speaker 1Yes and so like, but it was just like jab and then a negative feeling and then like kind of like that face like we were talking about, like when somebody's like not giving you like their like, is it a resting bitch face or just the mean look like it's just like a combination of both I know exactly what you're talking about?
Speaker 1yeah, so, like this person that I love and adore in chicago, I was just like what's up? Like, is they just like in pain? Like are they just like not having a good time? That they're trying to like throw like jabs at me because I can take it and I'm the comedian type that's just like ha, ha, ha, he, he, he, and I think I'm just gonna let it like go, because I don't know if it's really worth bringing it up to them. I just feel, like you know, when you're kind of the punching bag and you're just like okay, it's getting old, all right, you did that, okay, like you know it's getting old. Like I just felt you did that, you're okay, like you know it's getting old.
Speaker 2Like I just felt like so I would say, like normally people are like oh, three strikes, you're out. I'd say, it takes five strikes, then I turn into the exorcist.
Speaker 1Okay, so noted when I see that situation happening. I think I did see it before.
Speaker 2Yeah, give it time, because I think people, like a lot of people, actually realize what they did and they will try not to do it again or right you know something like that, and sometimes they'll actually apologize because they will catch themselves because, like, I just like to get a little quiet and like not so nice, and then all of a sudden I'm not and uh, you know, when someone apologizes, I notice that they are actually aware of their actions yeah, so the benefit of today's episode is establishing boundaries.
Speaker 1We love boundaries. Cheers to boundaries there's so much fun healthy boundaries? Yeah, yeah, and I didn't even know this word until I started doing therapy in 2023. I was like what the fuck? Like boundaries you talking about getting out of the tennis court? Is that the boundary line? But, truthfully, it just was an aha moment. You're like, I know this word, I've heard of it before, but I didn't know what it was until I wasn't really setting any.
Speaker 2You know it's hard to find healthy relationships. I think it's all about compatibility, mm-hmm, but I also think there's a lot of shitty people out there.
Speaker 1Yeah, I think they're just maybe not necessarily all shitty.
Speaker 2They're just like have like some fucked up past baggage and I can guarantee you you and me are on people's shit list Like just because like you're not on my shit list doesn't mean I'm not on your shit list.
Speaker 1I know, you know what I mean. We're not perfect.
Speaker 2I'm not trying to act like I'm this perfect person, but like no, no, no, no, no. I mean people. There's definitely people out there that don't want to hear from me again.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, I totally get you. I feel like sometimes I'm like okay, like I really always have to like reemphasize, like hey, I'm not perfect either. Like I've been there, I've been a bad you know person or a shitty friend or, you know, maybe not the most supportive brother or son, and I've worked on it. I'm still trying to find out who the real ryan franco is. Will he please stand up?
Navigating Workplace Harassment and Changes
Speaker 2I feel like I know who the real ryan is. You do. Are you really saying that?
Speaker 1I guess just being like not drinking for five months, like I'm in a lot of situations now, like even the family in chicago, and like even just like going out to the club, like it's like I'm really finding, like, okay, who am I like? Do I even like to be out late anymore? Do I like to dance or do I like to be around this people? You know what I mean yeah, yeah, so like when everybody's sloppy and it's like it's not fun anymore.
Speaker 2Yeah in a lot of situations like if I wasn't drinking, I just wouldn't go out. Yeah, I just wouldn't do it and like why I feel exhausted if you're not like in that, like wild state I think what I think, what the problem is, is like a lot of drama can stir up and drinking or not, I'm not down with your bullshit yeah, you're saying like you're not inviting all these people that we used to invite because we're not inviting the whole crew anymore.
Speaker 1No, we want to have the intimate fucking fun party, like mocktails are messy party if you're fun, then come along, yes if you're positive, let's do it positive I think you know what. I was being a little bit extra sensitive because I said some comment like while we're all with the family and, like you know, I'm the godfather and you know, like the Catholic church is like very conservative, you know, let's be honest here.
Speaker 1And so, like I was talking about, the staircase needs to be like adjusted because like it was curved and like people were having problems like falling in this house. It's like they didn't see that there's like a curve, a short or a sharp curve. So I was like you know, I think, based on my knowledge, you know, just being a designer, I'm looking at the space, like I think we just need to extend this like as a just a simple straight staircase down. You know, very straight, unlike me, and it was just a joke, and of course I make fun of myself. And then I think it was kind of somebody was like, oh well, don't say that in church, you know, you don't want the priest to know that. You know, I'm still trying to like be comfortable in my own skin, even to this day. I mean, I think we eventually, like you know, there's a certain point where you're just like really like fuck it. I don't think I'm at that point yet. I'm getting close. I'm getting close, you know.
Speaker 2Foot by foot. I can tell you're there.
Speaker 1Now, last thing I was gonna talk to you about Do you feel like you've gotten any jobs because your boss had a crush on you? Have you ever gotten the job because they were like ooh, I like her I have. Has it happened more times than one? Yeah, were you flirting in the interview?
Speaker 2Well, no, I wasn't, but I was, I was, I didn't actually did quit, you know, after two weeks. You know what I'm getting. I just got my ass groped, or my oh, by this old man. Like I mean nowadays I would have, like you know, reported them to HR, but back in the day I was just a meek little blonde.
Speaker 1Yeah, wow, that is so interesting. I'm so sorry to hear that. I think it's like hilarious. Now we can joke about it. But I'm sorry that you had to go through that it. But I'm sorry that you had to go through that. It was a lot easier for me but it did still feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1Like it's different in a man you know, being like you can feel like much more like I can kick their ass if they like, especially like I would if they like really violated me yeah, but it was always like there would be these jobs that I'd be like, yeah, the the supervisor or the hiring manager, just like you flirt a little bit and you get better scheduled or you get this treatment and like it was almost like. It was kind of their way of being like hey, if you're friendly with me, you'll get special treatment, right?
Speaker 2I mean, I remember the one he was like oh, please don't quit. They're just because I was too scared to say like I'm quitting because you grabbed my ass or you touched my tit, like they acted like it was an accident. They acted like it was an accident.
Speaker 1Oh God, like when they did it.
Speaker 2It's like how is this an accident?
Speaker 1Whoa wait, they actually did that.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1No, they didn't yeah.
Speaker 2Like how is this an?
Speaker 1accident. Oh wait, did you have something on your shirt?
Speaker 2I mean no, so they pretended like you had something on your shirt no, it was just like a hey kelly like oh yeah, it's disgusting it was like probably 60. Yeah, it's disgusting. He was like probably 60.
Speaker 1I'm sorry, I'm laughing and it's not even funny. Since learned you definitely have to stand up for yourself and stick up for yourself. I'm pissed for you.
Speaker 2So like I actually didn't quit because he was like I'll give you the schedule you want, like you don't have to quit, and then I actually got fired a week later by a different manager.
Speaker 1Oh, for a different reason or did he?
Speaker 2No, it was like a made up reason.
Speaker 1Because you were not tolerating he got these like bad reviews.
Speaker 2It's like I was here for three years and all of a sudden you got like two bad reviews and you're firing me.
Speaker 1I'm sorry, but lessons learned. It made you a stronger woman that you are today, that you will not tolerate any bullshit, moving forward.
Speaker 2I'll never forget it, and I will not tolerate that again.
Speaker 1Cheers to you being a fucking strong ass bitch Cheers. Do you have any positive remarks that you want to say for any woman that is in that situation right now?
Speaker 2Yeah, I would say that you need to say oh my god. God, he touched my dick in the middle of the serving room in the middle of the fucking room, right, so make a big fucking deal make a big fucking deal and then quit. Good for you I love that. That is some good advice, because I was like at a host stand when it happened.
Speaker 1And there was like a hundred people there.
Speaker 2And I should have just fucking screamed, but I didn't. I was too scared.
Speaker 1Cheers, cheers to that. Oh my God, you fucking touched my tit. Oh my God, he touched my dick. This is Mocktails Are Messy with Ryan Frankowski.
Speaker 2And Kelly Misgorski.
Speaker 1Thank you for listening. If you hit subscribe, follow. We will continue to be able to make these episodes for you. We love you. Our mocktailers and our cocktailers, Cheers, Mocktails or Messy's.
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