Mocktails Or Messy
Mocktails Or Messy
#55: The Northeast Ginger Gives Us a Taste Of Her Mocktail Wisdom
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Meet Pittsburgh's Mocktail Queen
Speaker 1Like this tastes delicious, but it does smell like a pickle. Absolutely, and that would freak people out.
Speaker 2I love it. It smells like a dirty dive bar.
Speaker 1I love it, you know what? Okay, so wait, what's up with this Mocktail Queen and King and bisexuals the bisexual Mocktail Queen and King of.
Speaker 2Pittsburgh. You are a spiritual being created from fucking stardustust, riding on a giant rock through space, and you think you're not good enough. That's the saddest fucking thing in the entire world. Like you are special, you are magical. I did too. You are everything you are absolutely everything, and that power exists for you to tap into if you want it.
Speaker 1Okay, everything and that power exists for you to tap into if you want it. Okay, we have this really interesting guest today, kelly I. When I moved back to pittsburgh, she just was this like magnetic woman the mocktail meetup girl. She was the mocktail queen of pittsburgh. I mean seriously, this bitch is fucking on fire you've been talking about this bitch for a while I know, and she's not a bitch, she's actually a sweetheart.
Speaker 1You know, no, I've been talking about this bitch for a while. I know, and she's not a bitch, she's actually a sweetheart. You know, no, I have been talking about this girl for a while, this magical mocktail queen. We have Mocktails or Messy with Kelly Musgorski and Ryan Frankowski, and welcome to the studio Catrixie. Katrina, the mocktail Queen of Pittsburgh.
Speaker 3Also known as the Northeast Ginger, correct? Yes?
Speaker 1The Northeast Ginger. That's an interesting name, catrixie, katrina.
Speaker 3So for people who aren't lucky enough to know who you are yet can you explain who I am, your message, what's my spiel?
Speaker 2Yes, yeah, super multifaceted, so I'll keep the you know Cliff's Notes version for you. I am from the Northeast. I'm from Boston originally Boston area, I should say and we've been in Pittsburgh about two years, and so Northeast Ginger is my Instagram handle that is how I brand myself, if you want to call it that, and I don't have a Boston accent, though.
Speaker 3Yeah, that threw me when you said you were from Boston.
Speaker 2I have this weird Midwestern Southern accent yeah.
Speaker 1You do have a little twang in there. I like it.
Speaker 2I think it's me being like that's where I belong. My soul is like we should move Right.
Speaker 1Would you do the South?
Speaker 2I would move anywhere. I'd move to alaska, like I don't care, I'll go anywhere. Yeah, I feel like I'll just wherever the vibe is right.
Speaker 1Yeah, I kind of almost feel like a new york vibe too no, I don't like oh shit, I can't wear that much black and I'm
Speaker 2not like fashionable I like to just wear what I want to wear.
Speaker 1I don't know you've been putting on some instagram fashionistas moments like very hot minute like czech girl. I don't know about that. I don't know. You've been putting on some Instagram fashionistas moments like very hot minute like Czech girl. I don't know, about that. I don't know what I just said. You got me torn up. You got me excited because when I first met you you were a little different looking. Can you explain?
Speaker 2that journey I was like where are we going to go with this?
The Dark Side of Coping Mechanisms
Speaker 2How does a man say that Well, thank you for putting it so nicely. I personally would not put it that nicely. I was overweight, 100%. I gained 90 pounds. Well, 90 plus pounds. During COVID Went through a really, really dark time in my life Super, super depressed, really anxious Thought about suicide, constantly Trigger warning for anyone listening. I was in a really horrible place personally, even though everything in my life professionally was amazing and it was just so difficult to deal with and I didn't know how to cope with it. I had stopped drinking and I was relying on marijuana to pick up that coping mechanism that I had used drinking for.
Speaker 1Me too. It's legal in mass Right. It was legal in Cali.
Speaker 2Exactly, and I lived right near a dispensary and was just like sure, why not? And it just became a crutch and from that I developed a binge eating disorder and yeah, just ate my way through everything that I felt, which was a horrible way to cope with it, and gained 93 pounds.
Speaker 1People don't talk about these things.
Speaker 2No, no, and I think there's such a stigma to. I am a parent. I have three little girls. They're very young, so there's a lot of shame that comes with using marijuana, whether or not it is legal. There is a lot of shame attached to it and feeling like, well, I'm a shitty parent and you know I'm a degenerate and all of those things. But then there is also this very clear social movement online and in you know the broader scheme of things, where everyone's like no weed is cool now, and weed is fine and we can do that and you can still be a parent.
Speaker 1And it is medicinal for some people that struggle with anxiety. So I could totally like respect that. But I think now we've kind of blurred the lines a lot where people are like oh, I all, like everybody, is suffering from anxiety at some degree or not, and I don't know like if we want to lean in on like the marijuana approach or like just maybe more holistic.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's where I'm at now. Like I'm on this wellness journey, I just spent the past year losing 85 of the pounds Congratulations.
Speaker 1I mean, you look amazing either way. I just want you to know that I don't recognize you and you look beautiful regardless.
Speaker 2Aesthetically is one thing, but like spiritually, emotionally, physically, like how I feel, is just so different. Like a year ago I could not wear a skirt because my legs would just stick together and it was so uncomfortable and like this is TMI, but whatever I would have like horrible chafing for like weeks.
Speaker 3I get that yeah.
Speaker 2It was awful.
Speaker 3Yeah, and.
Speaker 2I just I felt, I felt horrible physically. I couldn't pick my kids up, I couldn't run, couldn't? I live on a second floor.
Speaker 1I couldn't get up the stairs without huffing and puffing.
Speaker 3My labs were shit. Everything all over the place was just trash. I can totally relate, though, because when I got pregnant with my first, I'm five foot four and I was 205 pounds at the end of the pregnancy, and it took a lot to um lose that baby weight.
Speaker 2It doesn't just fall off, like people say it does I'm like the worst person in the entire world because I get pregnant and at the end of the pregnancy it just comes off you're the one you were one of the people telling me that then and I was like but I know I'm an anomaly, yes you are and I'm not doing something special. It's like I don't.
Speaker 3I gained 20 pounds with my first pregnancy, 30 with my second and 30 with my third and like nothing Two weeks later I looked exactly the same as I did before, so everyone kept telling me I know, and I'm a really bad person because I'm so, I know how lucky I am.
Speaker 2But everyone, like my doctor, my friends, like everyone, kept saying oh, but you're a mom, you know, give yourself some grace. You had those kids and I'm like they didn't do this to my body. I did this to my body, yeah, and I felt like everyone just normalized it, and not a single person, let me tell you this, not a single person, not a friend, not a family member, not a doctor, was like I'm very concerned about you. And now that I have lost the weight, I get texts.
Speaker 3Now, people, are you on?
Speaker 2ozempic? Oh my god, are you okay? First of all, I'm not on ozempic, but thank you for the accusation.
Speaker 2I appreciate that that means I'm skinny thank you right, um, but like people are, oh, I'm just, I'm so worried about you. I had an instance where I went to an event and it was so hot. It was history uncorked at the history Heinz history center. It was so hot in there and they had this art exhibit where they would take your picture and there was like lights behind you, and so it was just dark in the room but there was lights everywhere and I just almost fainted and immediately was like guys, I got to sit down right now or I'm going to faint. History Center staff was incredible. They got me an EMT, they whisked me away to their offices. I laid down on the couch, like it was fabulous. Just turned out I had low blood sugar and like just got dizzy. Yeah, the next day my best friend was like well, I don't know if I want to use the term best friend anymore. We'll say that she was like falling out. I don't know, we haven't had a falling out, but I do feel like there's some shade there.
Speaker 2And I don't have room in my life for toxic relationships and I doubt she's going to listen to this but if you put her in the third row, do you put her in the third row of the caravan?
Speaker 1I don't even know.
Speaker 3They're not in the first row anymore, they're like in the third row. Some, some people I don't even know if it's worth having them in the car anymore.
Speaker 2Well, there you go Sometimes that happens, I've not openly really said this to her, but it was really fucking rude the way she was like well, I just don't know if you're on Ozempic. I'm so worried about you. You're not fucking worried?
Speaker 3No, she's not You're not worried, so it's like if you told her you're not or you know why is she and.
Speaker 2I've never been in better shape as an adult, yeah.
Speaker 1Is she struggling?
Speaker 2I don't want to put anyone on blast. Okay, good call, we'll leave it at that.
Speaker 1We basically, you basically answered my question.
Speaker 2I said what I said without saying it.
Speaker 1Yeah, no, and that's a lot.
Body Image and False Concern
Speaker 2And it's, I think. I think, for women too. It's like it's really hard to be in a space where you're committed to wellness, improving your life. To be in a space where you're committed to wellness, improving your life. You want to do all the right things to getting back to the whole weed discussion to cope with what you're feeling, because I don't know about y'all, but I know a lot of millennials who grew up with parents who didn't talk about feelings, so you end up, growing up, becoming this adult you have no idea how to navigate life, and then you go on to have children and children cannot regulate their own nervous system.
Speaker 2Until adult, you have no idea how to navigate life, and then you go on to have children and children cannot regulate their own nervous system. Until, I want to say, it's like age eight or something like that. Don't kill me if that's the wrong age.
Speaker 1Roughly give or take. It's something like that.
Speaker 2And your job as a parent up until then is to be their co-regulator. You are lending them your nervous system. So if your nervous system is jacked up, guess what? So is theirs. Yeah, but we don't have the skills. I know I don't, I know my husband doesn't. So this is all stuff that we're learning on our own. And when you're numbing out with alcohol, numbing out with weed God forbid, you're numbing out with harder stuff. You're not finding those ways holistically to understand what your nervous system is experiencing and then cope with it in a healthy, productive way.
Speaker 2I agree with that completely and it's like it's such a responsibility, because these little people count on you, and it's so overstimulating for the parents then, and probably for the kids.
Speaker 1Can you say that again I?
Speaker 3don't even remember what I said.
Speaker 1That was amazing, it's okay.
Speaker 3We have it on camera. Okay, so to rewind a bit.
Speaker 2I know sorry, I could talk for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3I love it was alcohol like your vice, and then you kind of turned to like food like food and marijuana was another vice. Was it a vice or no?
Speaker 2so I don't know um, and these are the things that I'm discovering about myself as I'm writing my book oh, do we have a?
Speaker 1do we have a name for that? Or you want to keep it on the wraps?
Speaker 2We do have a name for it, and if anyone steals it, I will come outside your house and fucking kill you. Oh, maybe don't say it.
Speaker 1Don't say it. Don't say it. Did you trademark?
Speaker 2it yet?
Speaker 1No yeah don't say it Okay, so maybe we'll wait.
Speaker 2It's good, it's very in your face, which is exactly what I am. It's bold, it's cheeky, it's fun, it's a little that's what I love about you I know, I love that about me too, so I feel like you're Boston in that way. I think. So I mean, and learning that about Pittsburgh is like it's sort of Midwest but it's not quite Midwest.
Speaker 1But like.
Speaker 2Bostonians are like what the fuck are you looking at? Why are you looking at me? And like Pittsburghers are like how are you?
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm like I'm not well, thank you, and it's okay to not be well, right Like we can be unwell and that's okay to talk about it.
Speaker 2I agree but to answer your question, I don't think it was a vice, but I am learning. As I'm going through this book and, you know, recounting my first experience with alcohol or what alcohol was like in my home growing up, I'm starting to learn that like shit was real fucked up, but I didn't think it was. Right Because everyone was doing the same thing, yeah.
Speaker 1We could totally relate.
Speaker 2And we're like all in the same age range too. So it's like it was a different era oh yeah Things were very different.
Speaker 1Like I went to penn state, she went to slippery rock. That doesn't mean much to you being like uh in northeastern right, that's okay. If I said my college, you'd be like I don't know what that is right and they were just party schools and then, living in new york, party la party boss. I mean, I guess any metropolitan city is a big party um, even you know small little country, bumpkin towns you know, you just go up to the field and you get drunk yeah there's nothing to do right that was my town.
Speaker 2Um, I grew up in a really teeny, tiny town north of boston. Lots of privileged people, um, lots of parents who weren't really around or paying attention, that's, my parents were completely absentee and I just had this big old house and I was like, well, let's have a fucking party.
Speaker 1Um were they on?
Speaker 3vacation those are the houses we were going to my mom would have been there.
Speaker 2My mom is a flight attendant oh is she and we are now estranged. Um, we've been no contact for five years, which is like the best thing that ever happened to me. Um, and my dad was an alcoholic, so, uh, when my parents got divorced, my dad just took off and we didn't know where he was for like seven years. And he was out living his hippie dreams in San Francisco.
Speaker 3Oh, my gosh girl.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was a whole thing.
Speaker 3So he left your mama. Well, and then my mom was a flight attendant. She would have been working in a way. My mom was never around. Oh my gosh, you had nobody. I had nobody. I had a living nanny oh my gosh, you had nobody.
Speaker 2I had nobody. I had a living nanny.
Speaker 1Oh, you little privileged girl, my living nanny was this wonderful gay man.
Speaker 2His name was Woody.
Speaker 1Oh, a manny.
Speaker 2He was my manny. Oh my God, and he's like truly I loved him to death, but like he could not fucking be bothered, he was like listen, bitch, your mom said no parties, so don't have a party Listen bitch Less than bad, so I would just have a party in the basement where he couldn't hear us.
Speaker 1Was that an accent? You just were trying.
Speaker 2Did I have an accent?
Speaker 1You were like less than bad.
Speaker 2Did I do that?
Speaker 1Yeah, oh, my God, I love that.
Speaker 2I slide into character like it is nothing.
Speaker 1So good for me. Yeah, like you slide into DMs. Oh wait, she's married. She's married to a, a really hot man.
Speaker 2Follow up. Whose DMs am I sliding into? They're sliding into yours.
Speaker 1Yes, they're sliding into yours. You just did a collaboration with Willie Nelson's. Thc. That was like the highlight of my life, mocktail. Oh my gosh, tell us about it.
Speaker 2That's fun. So, it's actually a really funny story in that, like two weeks before 420, I said to Anthony I was like I think now weed is becoming my new alcohol. So weed very much is addictive for me.
Speaker 3Do you?
Speaker 2smoke it or eat it. So I was smoking. Then I was like, oh, lung cancer, that's terrible. So then I started with the can of cocktails.
Speaker 1They're so good.
Speaker 3I can't drink it or eat it. It makes me forget to breathe. I love it Well.
Speaker 2I need a very low dose. Ok, my friend makes edibles and she's like here's a hundred milligram. I was like I would die.
Speaker 3What happens if you have too much? I would die Like it actually makes you feel like you're dying.
Speaker 2That has only happened to me one time and I laid on the couch and cried and was like Anthony, my husband, help me, I don't like this. And he was like, just ride it out, babe.
Speaker 3You're going to be fine. It's like it's terrifying sometimes it was awful, so I don't like a high dose.
Speaker 2I'm like a very low dose, low vibe, like just chill.
Speaker 1Like my brother gave me something Wait you did bring us a drink.
Speaker 3I did. It's not a can of cocktail. There's no cannabis in the cocktail.
Speaker 1Okay, thank God. What's the kava that I brought?
Speaker 2So kava's cool K, because you know.
Speaker 1I'm like you, I'm 100% so.
Speaker 3I don't know if I want to mess with the pot.
Sexual Identity and Breaking Free
Speaker 1Yes, I don't do it because I actually did the same thing. My trainer told me to go on the weed and stop doing the booze. This was in LA. He's like you can afford the munchies because I was working out so intense with him. But the problem was I was switching gears and then it was like where's the edibles? Where's the edibles? Where's the dispensary?
Speaker 2And it's like wait I can't.
Speaker 1It was my new vice and I was like, wait, I didn't even really have that big of a problem with booze, but then weed became the new booze.
Speaker 2That's how I feel and that was the conversation we had the other day. That, like, I've listened to a lot of my sober friends say how hard it's been for them to not drink and I cannot relate. I just stopped drinking Like that was it. I had no desire, I just hit my limit and was like I'm all set, we're good, let's move on. I never, ever, not a single time since then in five years, was I tempted like ever, and I bought a bar. At the beginning of my sobriety I owned a bar.
Speaker 1I love that story. Wait, that way it went, skrrt.
Speaker 2Say that again, but really though, you bought a bar and you became sober.
Speaker 2I want to say maybe six months into sobriety I could be wrong. I'm bad at math, math is not for me I think six months into sobriety and my husband and I bought our first restaurant, which was a dive bar, and turned it into a different restaurant with a bar. But I had all this alcohol and at no point was I like we should drink. This it's ours, it's free, I can do whatever I want, I don't give a shit. No, I was all set, I just had no interest. And so people would say, oh, I struggle so much, I can have alcohol in the house. I have a whole bar in my house because, god forbid, I'm hosting people and they drink. I don't want them to feel like I'm pressuring them, like I want something for everyone. I'm always pushing for bars to be inclusive of non-drinkers well then how could I be in my home not inclusive of drinkers?
Speaker 3you were like totally in line with us because, um, we're like accepting it both. Like I will drink drink alcohol. Mindful mama, but he doesn't, and there's no pressure for either of us to like, I don't know, change or.
Speaker 2Right, you're just living your life.
Speaker 3We're just accepting, and she can zebra.
Speaker 2She can zebra, zebra striping. Oh my God, she can zebra striping. You told me this, your new favorite thing. You told me so many things mocktail. I think it's just being a restaurateur.
Speaker 1Yes, um, it's just always staying abreast of what's going on in the industry and how to enhance hospitality. Yes, I know I think. Tell us about the drink you bought, okay, sorry.
Speaker 3I'm sorry, I'm a little thirsty.
Speaker 2She's parched and our ice is melting oh yes so you made this yourself, I did okay, as, as Ryan said, I'm Pittsburgh's MacTale Queen, and that is a saying that I take very seriously. Can you hold?
Speaker 3it up for the camera. Do I go this way? Do I go this way Right there, right here? It looks like bug juice but it is not, it is a purely Pittsburgh MacTale.
Speaker 2This is a whiskey pickle lemonade, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1So it's a whiskey alternative. Whiskey alternative yes, we're using.
Speaker 2Monday zero alcohol. I've never had anything like this flavor-wise so I'm excited. It's a little fun.
Speaker 1Let me try to not spill this. Oh, you can spill it all over there. Baby girl, we love when you spill it.
Speaker 2I had a no shade, but I had a pickle lemonade at my very first. What is it? Picklesburg? Oh, okay, yeah. And I was like, oh my God, a mocktail. I'm so excited. It smells good. It smells really good right now. It was trash. It was trash.
Speaker 1No, no, no Sorry pickle.
Speaker 2I hope you like my fingies all up in your.
Speaker 1Oh, we love it. You cleaned them.
Speaker 2They are clean. They are clean Following safe handling guidelines.
Speaker 3Okay.
Speaker 2Yes, wow, I'm excited to try this.
Speaker 1We don't need it that is adorable. That is adorbs.
Speaker 2It's just the drinks. You're not in it.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Okay, now let's do a real cheers. That was a sad that is intense, I know Cheers, cheers.
Speaker 3Okay, oh my gosh, what the fuck.
Speaker 1That is fucking good.
Speaker 2So this is the cocktail I wish I had at Pickleburg.
Speaker 1And it smells good too.
Speaker 2You know I have this newfound love of pickles. I hated pickles my entire life and now, the past year, I'm just like put a pickle on it.
Speaker 3I've never had anything with this flavoring.
Speaker 2Good way, bad way.
Speaker 3It's really good. I didn't expect to like it.
Speaker 2It sounds really weird.
Speaker 3Like pickles and lemonade.
Speaker 2If you think about it like a whiskey, lemonade and you just have a little bit of pickle, do you?
Speaker 3have a whiskey alternative in here. Yeah, so it's the monday.
Speaker 1Monday is really good this is better than the one you had I had ritual and you know how ritual is I love ritual, rum I love ritual tequila those are my jam but not the gin or the whiskey.
Speaker 2No, no you can't win them all no, no.
Speaker 1And Monday did a great job with the whiskey alternative.
Speaker 2They did. I love it.
Speaker 1Now I could see somebody being like you know how they're like. Smell like this tastes delicious, but it does smell like a pickle. Absolutely, and that would freak people out.
Speaker 2I love it it smells like a dirty dive bar. I love it.
Speaker 1I'll she said it dirty dive bar in a glass. Are we gonna call it the dirty dive bar? Oh my god, we, we worked at a dirty dive, but it was before your time. What do?
Speaker 2you mean before my time?
Speaker 1I'm like the same age as you it was before you moved to the bird, oh okay, so that is before my time.
Speaker 2Yeah, it was the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern you know what I did go there one time. What the first time I lived in Pittsburgh Our friends loved it there. And I went once and I was like okay, yeah, we could have been there.
Speaker 1What'd you think?
Speaker 2You probably don't remember, I'm not really like a dive bar person, okay, but it's a dive and I know a lot about dive bars.
Speaker 2I once did for my 29th birthday I did a dive bar bar crawl through pittsburgh and this was the first time I lived in pittsburgh we rented a party bus and we went uh to, I want to say, six different dive bars throughout the city, um, and everybody had to wear a t-shirt. It had to be a funny t-shirt and it was a t-shirt contest. Mine said party with Vegas sluts and it was a good time. Anthony said I'm not gay but, $20 is $20. So it was like just funny in your face, hey.
Speaker 1I would have wanted to be around the $20 holla at Anthony.
Speaker 2He is hot.
Speaker 1He's fucking hot dude, he's really like, and he's just like a chill, like down to earth, like no frills. Like he could be, whatever he could be like yeah, he could totally be like hanging with the gays.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, Major ally vibes Well, so I'm bisexual, though I'm we both are okay.
Speaker 1So wait, what's up with this mocktail? Queen and king, absolutely bisexual oh my god I tried to get her to join the crew, but she's strictly dickly strictly dickly.
Speaker 2I'm strictly dickly too. I'm married. You're married me too. But you know it exists or not.
Speaker 1Married, but yeah, me too I it exists or not married. But yeah, me too I'm monogamous, but not married. Don't get it twisted. But yeah, monogamy is kind of cute if you have a good.
Speaker 2So I came from this perspective my whole life. I was very popular in college Very popular.
Speaker 1What's that mean?
Speaker 2You know very popular, very popular. I's that mean you know very popular, very popular. I had a great time. I do too.
Speaker 1If it's a good one, I love, and you just want to look at you. No, she doesn't like that, even if it is a good one, so maybe you are a little gay, I mean maybe I don't know, I never tried it.
Speaker 3So like I never tried it know, I never tried it.
Speaker 2So like I never tried it, oh, she never tried. The kitty. Oh yeah, the kitty's good. Well, I just went through this weird sexual awakening in college, as many of us do, right and it how old were you when you figured out?
Speaker 1you were bi.
Speaker 2Oh god um 25 officially okay, and I'm 37 now, so I went through this weird phase in college where I 100 thought that I was gay, but I was raised catholic there was so much catholic guilt yeah like, could not masturbate oh, yeah, how much catholic guilt I had, like I genuinely was, I would wake up at night sweating, afraid of purgatory, like it was so real and it took a lot of therapy to get through that.
Speaker 1She was scary.
Speaker 2Wow, it was a yeah.
Speaker 1Do you think it's different now, like with people that are into like religion in that way?
Speaker 2Yes and no.
Speaker 1Okay, I think when you're in it.
Speaker 2You're in it Like I'm still a very religious person, but not related to the church, yes, and I think when there are some denominations, there are some communities, that you can get really into it and that's your whole life, that's your whole worldview. I know that's how I was and I remember feeling like I think I'm attracted to girls, but being like no, no, no, no, no, no. You cannot like girls. This is you're disgusting, there's something wrong with you. I also went to a high school where, like you, could not be gay. Like this is you're disgusting, there's something wrong with you. I also went to a high school where, like you, could not be gay. Like this is you know, we're.
Speaker 2I graduated in 06. So you're talking early 2000s, late nineties. You know there's a lot culturally going on and it was a scary time, and so you had those feelings and you're just like no, no, um. So college was the first time where I could really be like oh, let's pull this thread, let's see what this is all about. And there was a girl shout out heidi. She knows who she is.
Speaker 2There was a girl hi heidi, there was a girl who lived in my dorm who was openly I can't remember if she was open. I think she was openly bi at that time okay. Okay, I don't remember exactly. College was a blur. Sorry if I'm misspeaking there.
Speaker 1Yeah, it was for us too. Oh yeah, I remember very little, I know.
Speaker 2But I recognized that, like, if I'm going to try this out, this is going to be the person who's going to help me figure it out. And that was that. And I was like, okay, yeah, this is a thing for me A hundred percent. And then I started questioning. You know, I am attracted to men, but am I only attracted to men because I've been told to be attracted to men? And I remember, like very briefly calling my mom on the dorm phone, being like mom, I'm having this like issue. I don't, I don't know Like, do I really like men? And I'll never forget it. She said you do, and you won't bring it up again.
Speaker 3And I was like mama I was going to say I'm surprised, like you told her that I didn't know who to talk to.
Speaker 2Yeah, like, truly, I didn't know who to talk to. I was so afraid and that was it. I was like, okay, wow, this is very much a culturally ingrained issue, and I got to get to the bottom of it yeah, and so a couple years later I was like okay, this is bisexuality.
Speaker 1I didn't know bisexuality was a thing I thought it was bi was a lie. It was just like, yeah, that was the other thing I was a lie.
Villain Origin Story and Mocktail Meetups
Speaker 2I will, I will throw her under the bus. Heidi specifically said she's like I think you're gay, you just don't want to commit and I was like no but I'm attracted to men too. And there was this movement at the time of, you know, LGBTQ community saying bi is a lie.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, you can't have it both ways, right and I?
Speaker 2remember being like. Why this is?
Speaker 1who I am.
Speaker 2Why.
Speaker 1Well, even people still to this day they're like you've only dated three guys in the last like relationships, and then previously it was women. So it was like oh, like, oh well, you were just not like comfortable in your own skin. Now you're gay and I was like I identify with whatever you feel comfortable with. If I'm in a gay relationship, that's one thing, but I also am very attracted to women and had sex with women and loved it right, you know what I mean and you know it's like you are who you are yeah, and sometimes people try so hard to put you into this box and label you and it's like sometimes they just don't fit Right.
Speaker 1Like, even though you're married to a man and you're in a heterosexual relationship, you cannot be like, oh well, you're straight. It's like, well, you're attracted to women, so would that make you straight?
Speaker 2Right. And men, straight, right, and men, you know what I mean right and I think that there's a big misconception with bisexuality and being in a hetero presenting relationship yeah people assume I cheat on my husband with women. I've not hooked up with a woman and I'm 37, I don't know, probably 14 years, 14 years, something like that yeah I've been with my husband for 15.
Speaker 2I had a little fun in college, a little after college. I was not super monogamous, um, but now right, um, but that's what. That's how I came up with that. We were talking about college and I was saying I had a lot of fun I had a very good time and I was of this mentality that, uh, monogamy is for idiots and that any monogamous relationship is actually riddled with cheating. You just don't know it Uh-huh.
Speaker 2And as I got sober and as I did the work and as I did therapy and self-help and growth and wellness and all the fucking shit, I started peeling back like, well, where does that come from? What is that story from? And it's my parents. My parents got divorced. My parents cheated on each other. It's this narrative that I created as a child, that nobody's really happy. So why be monogamous? Go live your life. And I thought that that was my way of protecting myself and especially I would fuck around with these jockey football players and the basketball players.
Speaker 2And they'd all be like, oh, what a slut, I'm using you. And I was like bitch, I'm using you for that.
Speaker 1It was this, it was a power, but really it was like like samantha jones, exactly yes, just exactly.
Speaker 2But um, yeah, it was like you're not using me. I'm using you like I enjoy sex, just as much as you enjoy sex. What makes you think you have the power, like I'm the one with the vagine? I'm the one with the power, so get in line. Power of the pussy and it's a great post because I got my husband out of it anthony he'll actually say it's not the puss that got him, it's the head. I do say that goes along.
Speaker 1Oh no, we love tmi. We're all messy with a little bit of mocktail, you know. And and honestly to god, like I really do feel like I was always like, hey, you gotta be open, you gotta be open because I was never satisfied and I was never sober and like satisfied is like a fine line of like, okay, so we could all be like, you know, okay, this is good, this is okay, I love you, yeah, you're settling, or oh, wow, they have a nice fat bank account, great that's good I mean, we've all thought about it.
Speaker 1Let's be honest here. I mean she always says, ryan, you can't say that. That's like really making you out to look like a bad person.
Speaker 3I don't think so. People might think that I'm just like protective over him and anyone and I'm like I don't want someone to think bad of you.
Speaker 1You know what?
Speaker 2I've learned, though People are going to think whatever the fuck they want to think.
Speaker 1That's true.
Speaker 2And it's not my problem.
Speaker 1You think?
Speaker 2of me as your problem.
Speaker 1Cheers to that. That's none of our business.
Speaker 2I don't give a shit. It's none of our business. And also how sad that you're the one sitting there talking about me, Because I'm not sitting there talking about you oh.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 3So we do have a few questions. We have a few questions, okay, that I do want to make sure we cover, because I feel like we could just talk about whatever all day. Okay, so do you remember your first mocktail that you had, where you took a sip and you're like okay, this is hot, I like this.
Speaker 2Oh, so not first mocktail ever, but first mocktail that we're like, this is something. Yeah, no, I don't, but I have drank so many fucking mocktails at this point.
Speaker 1You are the queen.
Speaker 2Dude, so many fucking mocktails. At this point you are the queen dude. Like, if you told me have you had a mocktail there, I'd be like I don't know man, like I have had so many. Um, I like weird shit. Not weird in the sense that like it tastes like shit. I mean weird in that like you would never think to put those things together. But it works. Yes, and and I think that's you know a lot of how we approach the restaurants that we open it's like everybody's so serious and everybody wants their Michelin star and Anthony and.
Speaker 2I are more like I just want to have a good time, so like if it's weird, let's make it happen, and then it turns out to be good. So that's kind of how I approach mocktails.
Speaker 3I want to be different.
Speaker 2I want to be fun, but no, no, like, no, mocktails really like. Stand out for me as like the best or the one right I generally am just like I like it. It's good you're so comfortable in your skin.
Speaker 3What would your advice be to people who maybe aren't so comfortable in their skin and they, like, need that booze when they go to the bar and they want a mocktail? How do they?
Speaker 2I'm gonna say it and I'm gonna get so much hate for it so I'm really sorry about that. You guys um, we love that about you fuck over yourself. You are a spiritual being created from fucking stardust, riding on a giant rock through space, and you think you're not good enough. That's the saddest fucking thing in the entire world.
Speaker 2Like you are special, you are magical I did too, you are everything you are absolutely everything, and that power exists for you to tap into if you want it. Most people don't want it. Most people are afraid they're afraid of, and I've been there so I get it. But when you start to realize I'm pretty fucking cool and I don't care if people don't agree, that's when your life begins, and that was my journey with alcohol. I used alcohol as a crutch because I was like look how much fun.
Speaker 3I'm having.
Speaker 2I'm so cool, I'm so popular and I'm the one who has all the parties and the booze and this and that, and then I got pregnant and I stopped drinking. I can't even stop drinking.
Speaker 1I stopped drinking.
Speaker 2You're a drinker.
Speaker 3I was drinking.
Speaker 2I stopped drinking and had just as much fun and literally had this epiphany that like, oh fuck, it was never the booze that made me fun.
Speaker 1It was me, because I'm the fun.
Speaker 2You're a fun bit, I'm a cool motherfucker like I know I. I don't care if people don't agree, because I'm having a great time over here, and if you don't agree, you tell me that you're having a better time than me.
Speaker 1I know, and you know what A lot of those people in my life and family and friends and all that stuff that were like booze, booze, booze, party, party, party. I was trying to hide from my sexuality and be like yo, bro, what's up, Like it was like okay, wait. So I didn't even need it because I was just like really wanting to be myself, but then it was putting this facade on like I was the cool kid you know trying to be cool, it's always something.
Speaker 2And when people disagree and say like no, I'm just having fun Like this isn't to cover anything up.
Speaker 1No, it is, though, and you just don't realize that it is. Now. What about the people that are going to argue that say like.
Speaker 2I don't have a problem. I like booze, I have a wine line. Yep, take a good, hard look at your life. Take an audit of your life. Are you where you want to be, genuinely, truly, in all aspects of your life? Are you where you want to be? And what purpose does alcohol serve in your life that is beneficial. And if you say, well, to wind down, make a fucking tea, go in the sauna, go to the gym, those things are genuinely beneficial. Alcohol is killing you, it's poisoning you.
Speaker 1Surgeon general warning. Put a label on it.
Speaker 2And to the people who say well, everything is going to kill us, so who cares? I care, I don't want to be 38 with colon cancer. You know our generation is the first generation, millennials. That is not expected to outlive our parents. That's horrible. Our median age of like death, or however you say that, our life expectancy, that's what it is 75 years old Right now, at 37, I am middle-aged. Our parents were middle-aged at 45 and 50. That's like a disgusting thing to think about and you want to sit here and actively put poison in your body because it helps you wind down, grow up, grow up, I mean I look at my grandparents.
Speaker 192 and 89 and they do like to drink, uh, but I think that they don't have that binge problem it's, and it's not even just the alcohol, it's a compound effect.
Speaker 2Parents of our generation love to say well, I don't know how you survived without the organic food, and it's like because food was just food. It wasn't called organic, it was just food. Now you got to pay extra to have your food without poison in it and people are going to call you a snob for it. I'm trying to just survive, so let me cut down as much as I possibly can. That is slowly killing me, slowly poisoning me, causing cancer, causing autoimmune issues, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2And lessen the burden on my body. Alcohol is one of them. Now, if you are the healthiest person in the entire world, you live a super non-toxic lifestyle, you're committed to holistic remedies and you're saunaing, you're working out and your body is great and you have a glass of wine twice a week, your prob's gonna be fine. But let's be honest that's 1% of the population.
Speaker 1that's like that the rest of us for the most part, are drinking a bottle.
Speaker 2Yeah, we're winding down at the end of the night with a bottle of wine because that's what we've been told is okay. Hey, I'm loving these truth bombs. I know, sorry, that's just the way that I am and I get so much hate, but like I'm such a bitch, but I'm the nicest bitch you'll ever meet.
Speaker 3I feel like you're telling the truth, so how could somebody hate on that? Because people don't want to hear the truth I mean, do I want to hear you like say that?
Speaker 2no, because I do drink, but like I'm like oh fuck, she's right, see, but you have an emotional intelligence that a large percentage percentage of the population is missing. In order to accept that something is true, you have to have a certain self-awareness, and most people are not self-aware, nor do they want to be self-aware, because to confront that awareness can't be around those people is to say something is wrong, I have the power to change it and I'm going to change it. Most people would rather be complacent and comfortable and I say your comfort zone will kill you so that's amen, but I get a lot of hate, so much hate.
Speaker 2My dms are fucking full, which is insane I can't. I don't have a lot of followers at all and I swear I get so much hate. My dms are fucking full, which is insane. I can't. I don't have a lot of followers at all and I swear I get so much hate from people being like yum yum, yum yum. I don't agree with that then don't.
Speaker 1I don't give a shit.
Speaker 2Yeah, go do your thing, but then at the same time, my inbox is also flooded with people being like I got sober because of you and the amount of times I saw your post the other day? Yeah, I was like it's the best feeling in the entire world knowing that you contributed to somebody's well-being.
Speaker 1And we're not taking it from an ego standpoint. It's just what we want to help, because we've been there. We wish that we had a person like us 100%.
Speaker 2I really did.
Speaker 1I actually did have a guy and I didn't want to be like him, but he was successful and he was sober. So I was like, okay, so he's helping, even though I'm like resisting it. And then eventually you just fall into this like cycle and you're like Danny, thank you so much for helping me.
Speaker 2I think there's a lot of ways that people influence others without it being obvious.
Speaker 3You just look at people's lives and you're like damn, they have it figured out.
Speaker 2I want to do that.
Speaker 1Right, and then you just slowly emulate a lot of its high performers and success and you know a lot of it just has it to, like you said, like the health and wellness, like you get those dopamine highs from like working out or doing this on or cold plunging you have to put the work in.
Speaker 2That's the difference. You don't have to put the work in with alcohol or weed or sex. Sometimes you just buy it, you just dissociate and now we're floating and we're fine and everything's great and deep down, you're just lying. You're not great. Oh no, you have this disconnect between your subconscious and your conscious and your body carries that trauma, whether you're addressing it or not. So now you have rheumatoid arthritis because you have these problems that you didn't address. Your body's holding that energy and it's making you sick. Yeah.
Speaker 3I can't wait to read your book.
Speaker 1I know I want to scream the title. I want to scream the title because it's such a good title. But we will to be continued or to be determined. We'll come back when the book hits stands title, but we will to be continued or to be determined back when the book hits stands.
Speaker 3Oh, I think that you're touching a lot of people like you're touching me right now. Can you give a little more information about your mocktail meetups?
Speaker 2yeah, you host them, correct, I do okay so, uh, we just celebrated our one year anniversary. Ryan was there in january. Uh, so mocktail meetup is a group that I created after seeing in. Pittsburgh. It is totally Pittsburgh based. First time I've ever done a social group like this, but I really saw a void in the market for something like this. I went to a couple sober events here and didn't really connect with anybody.
Speaker 2Kind of felt like it was very recovery based and that's not my journey, so I just didn't have that common thread and I yearned for like where are the people who just don't like to drink? Where are the people who maybe drink on weekends but not weekdays? Where are the people who are pregnant? Where are the people who are on a medication? Like where's just the people who don't drink? Yeah, and so I say I'm a non-drinker, with five years of sobriety, if you want to say that. But I feel like there was a huge void and Mocktail Meetup was really just a way for people to come together, enjoy a night out and not have the pressure of getting drunk, because I think when you're meeting, new people.
Speaker 3There's so much pressure that like you know?
Speaker 2oh, I'm going on a first date. Let me have a drink to take the edge off, or I'm going out with this friend group for the first time, Let me you know, loosen up.
Speaker 2So what I decided to do was host a monthly social group where every month we go to a different bar or restaurant that I have already vetted. I have done the groundwork, I have tried every mocktail on their menu, I have met the owners or the managers who are very heavily involved in the bar program, and I have decided this is a great NA program, it deserves to be promoted. So let's bring people in, let's bring awareness, let's post about it multiple times and let's give people an excuse to go out, because I think also there are some people who don't drink so they're like well, I'm not gonna go out. What's the point? What do you mean? What's the point? Go to the bar.
Speaker 2It's a great time and I want to respect the fact that there are people in recovery who cannot be in a bar setting yeah, so this would not be for that right, um, unless you're very stable in your sobriety, um, you know, but for some, but for some of us, it's like we don't want the fun to end just because, we're not drinking.
Speaker 2Like I said, I wasn't drinking, I didn't say I wasn't fun, you know. So this group is is just a really special, small, intimate group. We usually have like 15 people and you just meet people who are like you and it takes the pressure off it. It's. It's really special. I've met some of my very best friends through it, some really cool people. Um, and you know, it just happens every month. So find me on Instagram at the Northeast ginger. Find out where we're going next this week. Actually, I don't know when this airs, but on Thursday, may 22nd, we are at Burgatory on the North shore which I personally am super jazzed about.
Speaker 2I love burger. I love it too. I saw those milkshakes. You posted the strawberry pretzel salad bomb but their new mocktail menu is phenomenal and it is a true mocktail menu. I yes I call everything mocktails. I think it's the most widely recognized word. There are industry people who would shoot me out back because of that.
Speaker 3Yeah, what do they call it? Some of them are against that term.
Pittsburgh's Progressive Non-Alcoholic Scene
Speaker 2Some people in the industry are very against the term mocktail, because they don't like that it involves the word mock. They feel like there is a disrespect to their craft, which I totally understand. You know. I appreciate your opinion, but also you know there's like wars and poverty to be upset about. Let's maybe not be so upset about a word that really, truly doesn't actually mean mock. We're not mocking you. It's more like foe.
Speaker 2You know we're trying to replace, and again people will come for me for that. But I use the word mocktail. It's the most readily recognized and when you're trying to reach out to people who are sober curious, I don't want to use all these zero proof non-alcoholic cocktails spirit free.
Speaker 3People don't know what that means man you don't know what it means.
Speaker 1Mocktail has been around for like forever.
Speaker 2But technically, from a hospitality standpoint, a mocktail is juice only.
Speaker 3It is juice concoctions.
Speaker 2So, like a Shirley Temple is a mocktail.
Speaker 1Right Cherry juice so rude when someone offers me a.
Speaker 2Shirley Temple as a mocktail like I'm just going to punch you in the face, don't do it.
Speaker 1I know I had like this girl that said I want a dirty Shirley what she said, that she wants a little liquor yeah, forward yeah maybe we should create a dirty shirley mock. No or don't put my name on that well, you know we connected with you because we are mocktails or messy and we respect the new found like zero proof, non-alcohol. We want to be inclusive with that, yeah, but we're not going to change our meaning and message and name, you know I think people take it way too serious. And if they're mad?
Speaker 2at me saying that, well, sorry babe, Go be mad Right.
Speaker 3You know it is what it is. I know we have bigger problems, it is what it is.
Speaker 2I know we have bigger problems, bigger things to worry about. And again, it's all about spreading the message, spreading the awareness and allowing for that inclusive nature in hospitality. And if we're arguing over what to fucking call it, I mean that's not really championing the cause. We're just fighting amongst ourselves, you know. So get over it. I'm calling it a mocktail.
Speaker 1Is Pittsburgh a good city for mindful drinking?
Speaker 2Hell. Yeah, I just actually was on a podcast a couple weeks ago talking about the same thing the comparison between Pittsburgh and Boston and the NA scene, and I have said, and I will maintain this stance Pittsburgh is ahead and has been ahead, wow, five years ago.
Speaker 3I didn't expect that answer.
Speaker 1Five years ago. Is it Hipsterville? Is it because of Lawrenceville?
Speaker 2We do have a lot of mocktails in.
Speaker 1Lawrenceville. Yeah, don't say that, I was just thinking like that's weird, I mean it is, I mean it's amazing.
Speaker 2No, I think a lot of it. Credit to Mel Babbitt, the open road. Open road is the nation's oldest non-alcoholic bottle shop, so you know mel really was ahead of the curve in a lot of ways um especially here, especially here. Uh, we in boston just I want to say a year and a half ago, got our first non-alcoholic bottle shop.
Speaker 1So you think mel's been?
Speaker 2open. Five plus years we just got one. Yeah, um know, five years ago when I got sober, I was living north of Boston. Nobody had a mocktail on their menu Nobody. And that's how I got into non-alcoholic consulting.
Speaker 2I had a lot of industry friends, a lot of restaurant friends, and I was like what can you make? Put some mocktails on your menu. And they were like we don't know, how can you help? And I was like, yeah, babe, I'll help, of course. And then that, just one after another, after another, and it was a really good time and I don't really do that here because Mel does that here. Yeah, but you know, it's all for the cause. So you know, I think I wonder what would have happened had I not been championing for the cause back then in my area of Massachusetts. Like how long would it have taken? Yeah, a cause back then in my area of Massachusetts, like how long would it have taken? And there's still some people who are really holding onto this idea that like nah, nobody wants mocktails, those don't sell. And the reality is lots of people want them and it's a growing population.
Speaker 1They're going to pay.
Speaker 2Absolutely. That is one of the biggest things is if you put thoughtfulness into how you curate your NA program, people are going to pay just as much as they would for the spirited.
Speaker 3I would pay. I would pay a fortune for this, this flavor.
Speaker 1I know, oh, yeah, yeah, exactly, we can Venmo you, katrina.
Speaker 2All jokes, all jokes. Can we?
Speaker 1leave. Can you leave us with? I know you have to run. You got one minute.
Speaker 2Oh shit my phone's on the floor.
Speaker 1Can you leave us with a messy truth or story?
The Villain Origin Story Revealed
Speaker 2We need more time. We need more time.
Speaker 3What can you leave us that we can carry with us throughout the week?
Speaker 2I'll tell you a story. I'll tell you my villain origin story. Yes, when you were hammered, no, but it involves alcohol, okay, okay, and it's messy. Oh, my villain origin story I so. I always worked in restaurants, and in college I worked at a place called ruby tuesday, which I don't know if y'all ever had a ruby did you, I forget the salad bar.
Speaker 2Um, ruby tuesday was the shit. Um. So I worked at a ruby tuesday when I was in college and when I was 21, I got fired from the ruby tuesday for taking an alcoholic beverage in a to-go cup. The bartender, by the way, did not get fired, which is fucked up. Bullshit like this was a witch hunt.
Speaker 2They wanted me out and they were like finally we have a reason. I mean, I was a little cunt, so like as a restaurant owner I would never have hired me nor would I have kept me for that long, like 21 year old. Katrina was a mess, you know yeah and uh.
Speaker 2so I got fired from the ruby tuesday for taking an alcoholic drink in a to-go cup. Bartender did not get fired, and I just want to say that it is so fucked up because then, a couple years later well, 10 years later, during COVID, guess what? Massachusetts, hey, sure, yeah, you can take alcoholic beverages in a to-go cup Bitch. I invented that, yeah, she started that, and you want to make money off of it, but I got fired. This bullshit.
Speaker 2Oh, my God so that's my villain origin story, in the sense that I was in college. So I thought I was a bad bitch and I was like, well, this isn't my real job. I'm going to college, I'm getting a degree, yeah. And all you stupid general managers, someday I'm going to laugh at you because you're still going to be the general manager of the Ruby Tuesday and I'm going to be off in my real world job. And then I went on to become a restaurant owner the small circle.
Speaker 1Now I own the restaurant.
Speaker 2Yeah, but that's the villain origin. I got fired and now I own restaurants.
Speaker 1That's amazing. I've learned a lot.
Speaker 2I've learned a lot. Don't take alcoholic beverages to go if it's against the law.
Speaker 1And would you hire a Katrina from that era? Absolutely not. Are you joking?
Speaker 2No, she was out at the club every freaking night of the week. You know, you've got Messy Monday, you've got Taco Tuesday, wasted Wednesday. Thirsty Thursday.
Speaker 1Oh yeah.
Speaker 2She was bumping and grinding in the hot body contest in the cage on the stage at the club and then I had to get up and work a double at Ruby Tuesday. No.
Speaker 1She was the clerk.
Speaker 2And then I had to get up and work a double at Ruby Tuesday. No, she was a mess.
Speaker 1She threw up on herself. She threw up in the bathroom at the Ruby Tuesday Like she was a piece of shit. She called out all the time and look where you are now.
Speaker 3So cool. It was a true pleasure having you on.
Speaker 2Mocktails are Messy. This was so much fun.
Speaker 3You're a character, thank you, and I love your character so that was good.
Speaker 2Yes, thanks for watching. Mocktails Are Messy. This is Katrina Tamakio, aka Pittsburgh's Mocktail Queen, aka the Northeast Ginger.
Speaker 1Woo. Thank you, katrixie, on fire, I love that name.
Speaker 2by the way, Is that your?
Speaker 1nickname now
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