We promise you an episode you won't forget as we delve into the labyrinth of love, life, and relationships with our insightful guest, Terri. Ever found yourself asking why men cheat? Is it a power trip, an ego boost or simply because they can? We're talking candidly about the motivations behind infidelity, the fallout, and the critical role of intimacy in the relationship equation. We're breaking down the notion of great sex being a relationship maker or a deal-breaker, and the often unspoken dissatisfaction among partners.
Building on this, we navigate the murky waters of honesty, communication, and self-reflection - central pillars of any relationship. We discuss the aftermath of cheating, the role of comfortability, and how complacency can be a silent relationship killer. Our conversation also shines a light on the necessity for mutual growth, and the patience required in any relationship. We also examine whether men or women have more patience, and how this shapes their behavior in a relationship.
We wrap up with a deep-dive into the roles and expectations placed on men and women in relationships. We challenge the idea that women are taught tangible domestic skills but not the intangible aspects of a successful relationship. We explore how standards morph as we mature and how past mistakes can lead to adjustments in these standards. From men cheating and dating differences, through to teaching relationships and changing standards, our honest and humorous conversation with Terry will leave you questioning, reflecting, and hopefully, learning. Grab a cup of coffee and join us on this thought-provoking journey.
We promise you an episode you won't forget as we delve into the labyrinth of love, life, and relationships with our insightful guest, Terri. Ever found yourself asking why men cheat? Is it a power trip, an ego boost or simply because they can? We're talking candidly about the motivations behind infidelity, the fallout, and the critical role of intimacy in the relationship equation. We're breaking down the notion of great sex being a relationship maker or a deal-breaker, and the often unspoken dissatisfaction among partners.
Building on this, we navigate the murky waters of honesty, communication, and self-reflection - central pillars of any relationship. We discuss the aftermath of cheating, the role of comfortability, and how complacency can be a silent relationship killer. Our conversation also shines a light on the necessity for mutual growth, and the patience required in any relationship. We also examine whether men or women have more patience, and how this shapes their behavior in a relationship.
We wrap up with a deep-dive into the roles and expectations placed on men and women in relationships. We challenge the idea that women are taught tangible domestic skills but not the intangible aspects of a successful relationship. We explore how standards morph as we mature and how past mistakes can lead to adjustments in these standards. From men cheating and dating differences, through to teaching relationships and changing standards, our honest and humorous conversation with Terry will leave you questioning, reflecting, and hopefully, learning. Grab a cup of coffee and join us on this thought-provoking journey.
Hey, yo Supremely full of it, ha ha.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Back again what it do, man Supremely full of it podcast. Back with another episode. Yeah, we here.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, hey, man, look, don't start bro. Yes, they call me darling and I be a boy now, and guess what man?
Speaker 1:We have a special, we do Special episode with a special guest. Oh, you understand that. Yeah, go ahead bro.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So from the hood, from the suburbs, okay, from a round away All right, from everywhere, we got the little homie Terry. All right, all right.
Speaker 3:Hey, hey, hey, what's going on?
Speaker 1:with you.
Speaker 3:Nothing much how y'all doing.
Speaker 1:Good, good. So you know, we always hear, we need to hear some women on this show. You know what I'm saying. So I figure we have what, huh?
Speaker 3:I said definitely.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I figure we have a one-on-one session. One-on-one, you know what I'm saying. So, first of all, how are you doing? I'm wonderful, wonderful. How's your day going? Pretty good, you ready for these candid questions.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay, yes, I am.
Speaker 1:So are y'all ready? We've been doing it with Bull all day, so we ain't surprised by nothing. Okay, I ain't getting a special shout out. You know what I'm saying For the person hosting this event, Right? You know the beauty bar. The beauty bar. You know what I'm saying. The homie Keita Shout out to you. Appreciate it.
Speaker 3:Shout out to her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. You know, at the end of the video, man, we'll put our information out there. You can check her out at the beauty bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so okay, let's get into the show man. First question Now. First of all, we don't lie here on a. Supreme Me Full of a podcast.
Speaker 3:That's good, because I don't lie, all right, okay, especially not on Sundays, honestly honestly Okay.
Speaker 1:So first question is why do you think men cheat?
Speaker 3:I think men cheat ego. I think that's the number one thing. It's ego. But personal experience I haven't been well, I don't know, haven't brought to my knowledge of me being ever cheated on, Okay, but I think it's ego, ego.
Speaker 1:Do you think that makes a man feel better about himself? Or cheating?
Speaker 3:Definitely.
Speaker 1:Why would that make him feel better about himself?
Speaker 3:Because you know how, y'all do, you know how y'all do Amen.
Speaker 2:I think it's our ego, if you can do it and get away with it.
Speaker 3:I think that's what men do.
Speaker 1:If we could rob a bank, we would do it. You know what I'm saying. And get away with it. You would do it Right, but I don't really think that has any you know what. Okay, I'm not going to do it. Don't look at me, bro, I'm not going to stop.
Speaker 3:Can I ask you why you think men cheat?
Speaker 1:You want the truth? Yes, because we can.
Speaker 3:That's what I said, you know like no, no, you said ego. Right, okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, Back in my cheating days. It did nothing for my ego.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 1:Yes, I just did it because I could. I had the opportunity to.
Speaker 3:I think you probably need to dig deep. I think it was your ego.
Speaker 1:No, you would like me to dig deep. You right, I would, because yeah, but there's nowhere else to go with that Okay.
Speaker 2:Can I ask you a question, mm-hmm, do you think men cheat because they don't have something they shouldn't cheat on? Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:I thought I asked you to hush the game. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Because I mean, uh, some, some that could be.
Speaker 3:I ain't gonna lie. It could you know.
Speaker 2:Some women, some women may not be worth it.
Speaker 3:So why are you with her? Because of your ego. That's a good one, you know, I was just you, just leave.
Speaker 2:But that that go back to what he said he can. He can have you in them.
Speaker 3:Right, okay, that was a good one. You got me with that one, I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2:I got one for you.
Speaker 3:Okay, get this out the way.
Speaker 2:Get it out, get it out the way, man All right Lord. Does having great sex make or break a relationship and why.
Speaker 3:I think having great sex can definitely make a relationship. I don't know if it'll break a relationship, but it definitely can make a relationship because it's sex. I mean, who don't like sex?
Speaker 2:Okay, I mean I I.
Speaker 3:If the relationship bad. But the intimacy is there, you know that could definitely make it.
Speaker 2:Here's a follow up. Who complains about poor sex? More men or women?
Speaker 3:I think women sometimes we just don't tell you.
Speaker 2:Okay. So now I'm going to ask you the question again Does having great sex make or break a relationship, and why?
Speaker 3:I still feel like it could. You know, Hmm, you got a little bit of wisdom, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm probably the oldest person in this building right now.
Speaker 3:Okay, okay, what makes sense?
Speaker 2:It's a little wise, but I still think by a century.
Speaker 3:I still think Okay, what question am I answering now?
Speaker 2:You said uh, uh, could it Okay? You said, women complain more, so yeah, it does having great sex make or break a relationship?
Speaker 3:If women complain about having good sex more than men, yeah, I mean, well, it could break it if it's bad. Yeah, it could definitely Okay.
Speaker 1:Let me ask a question then If sex is bad, why would a woman date a man If it's?
Speaker 3:sex, other stuff. You know, women, we, everything with us is mental, so okay.
Speaker 1:But even if the sex bad but then y'all would break up. Well, because? Because the sex is bad? No, so why would?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:And or stay with a man with great sex that don't have anything.
Speaker 3:Hmm, hmm, uh.
Speaker 1:I don't think he was ready for this.
Speaker 3:I would, I would, I would, cause I'm usually, you know, yeah, it's all good.
Speaker 2:But none of your responses got to be right or wrong. It's just how you feel about it Right.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean, speaking from experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 3:Um it with me, mm? Hmm, it wouldn't make or break.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 3:It wouldn't.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Just be honest with me, all right, all right.
Speaker 1:Okay, thank God, we done with that one.
Speaker 2:You wanted to move on? Yes, I did, bro.
Speaker 1:Next question Is there a difference between dating a broke man versus dating a broke woman?
Speaker 3:Is it a difference?
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, it's sad.
Speaker 3:I mean it's, it's not fair, mm hmm, but it is a difference. Okay, the difference my opinion is because a man is supposed to protect and provide Right, and if you can't provide, then you know.
Speaker 1:But is providing only based off of income.
Speaker 3:It's not, but it's a it. Play a role in it. Yeah, Definitely play a role in it.
Speaker 1:Okay, um.
Speaker 3:But I mean it's not fair because a woman, If a man got money and a woman's broke, I feel like women we bring more than just providing. So that's why it may not be fair, but what we come with, the woman could not have money like a housewife, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's cool If that's what he wants, yeah.
Speaker 3:If that's what he wants, since, whatever floats your boat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:What if men went around saying that they don't date? Broke women?
Speaker 3:I respect it. I definitely respect it.
Speaker 2:But every woman would be broke to him if they want a guy that makes more. So women put themselves in a position not to find much character-wise because, they look at what someone has first.
Speaker 3:Right, that is true, you're right.
Speaker 2:So let's reverse that real quick though. Like okay, so you got a woman that make a lot of money. You got a man that's at home. He the house husband. Could that woman, in your opinion, would she stay with that guy for a long period of time if he took care of the house and she bought the money in?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I feel like, if that's me personally, if that works for me, then yeah, cause it's all about what you're looking for too. So, I feel like a successful woman. Is she able to provide? Is she cool with that? Is she just need the love from the man, and I feel like that'd be cool.
Speaker 1:But you said that the man is a puzzle.
Speaker 3:And that's why I said, that's why I said it's not fair. But you know, I did say that.
Speaker 2:But would you be able to, would you? Yeah, get him, get him I did say that, I did say that Me and get him, but would you still be able to respect him as the leader of the household?
Speaker 3:Yes, I would.
Speaker 1:Would he be able to have a final say?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Would he be?
Speaker 3:Because, even though for me yes. I ain't speaking for other women out there, but for me, yes.
Speaker 2:Now, this is from what I see, though I do see people say yeah, they can until it comes down to what he said you can spend your money on, because you bring it in?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just about to ask that.
Speaker 2:So when it came down to him saying nah, you don't need that, we're not buying that.
Speaker 3:But if y'all married this, something y'all gotta.
Speaker 2:Oh, I like that answer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, y'all gotta talk about that anyway, you know it gotta be if you married.
Speaker 1:That's why I invited her on the show. Man. She making me proud right now. That's what she. A little snappy, but that's what it do. Am I snappy?
Speaker 2:I mean, just give him back what he give everybody else. Right, right, that's all.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you do them all sometimes. I'm just trying to get some ratings bro, Nah Subscribers. That's you Trying to get the people what they want.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go Next question. What's the ultimate deal breaker for you to leave your spouse?
Speaker 3:I don't have a spouse, but if I did, I maybe I don't know I would say cheating.
Speaker 1:Cheating. That's the only thing.
Speaker 3:Cheating. I think cheating.
Speaker 1:Cheating multiple times or just cheating period?
Speaker 3:It's probably about like I don't know, like speaking off the dome, I would say cheating, but I never been in that situation so I don't.
Speaker 1:So okay.
Speaker 3:Cheating, having the baby.
Speaker 1:Can you see yourself taking somebody back after they cheated on you?
Speaker 3:Probably not. I don't know if I could get past that. I don't know, and that's probably something I gotta work on, because there ain't nobody perfect, but I don't know.
Speaker 1:Okay, just for information purposes. Women cheat emotionally.
Speaker 3:That's bad.
Speaker 1:And then right, and then that leads to physical cheating. Men just cheat physically mostly, so knowing that men don't really have emotions involved in their cheating.
Speaker 3:But see, for me I would think I don't know, cause I know what I come with. So I would think if you cheating on me, it gotta be some type of emotions there. You ain't doing it.
Speaker 1:He ain't doing it just because he saw something.
Speaker 3:I don't think so. That's just my opinion. If I get cheated on, Okay. So that's why I say that might be a deal breaker, cause I don't know if I'm gonna get past that. Cause I wouldn't have no understanding of why you cheated on me. It wouldn't be nothing, you'd be able to tell me.
Speaker 2:Have you ever seen situations where a woman find the person that their husband and boyfriend cheating on them with to find out that they're not the same caliber of woman that they are even looks wise?
Speaker 3:You said have I ever seen that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, just you know, period, definitely Like, maybe like man, that girl don't look nothing like the girl you cheating on, and that's why I'm saying that'll be a different because I want what.
Speaker 3:And then, in that situation, what would the man be able to tell his woman why he cheated?
Speaker 2:It ain't nothing to do with emotions. I can tell you that.
Speaker 3:So what it has to do with.
Speaker 2:Exactly what he just said, just because he could.
Speaker 3:That's correct and see that's disrespectful so that's. I couldn't get past that. I feel like that's even worse. It's wrong either way To just be like I'll just cheat it, just because that's even worse. So tell me that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you ain't gonna tell me that. No, it's wrong either way.
Speaker 1:There's really no, we can't say it. Well, because we vibe with her. You know she, she was a good ear to listen to our problems and stuff like because we really don't cheat off of that, we cheat.
Speaker 3:So what would you be able to say? That goes back to what he said because he could. That's even more reason why I'm a lead because I can't, because why would you cheat? Just because you can't, you don't respect me.
Speaker 2:I got a question now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what's up. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, I got one too. There not be the question that I'm gonna ask.
Speaker 2:Is it still pertaining to this Cause? I'm trying to, okay, yeah, well, when I'm about to, I'm about to take a left turn real quick though. Um, if, if your man came to you and he says I'm having feelings and thoughts of cheating, could you handle that conversation? Yes, definitely.
Speaker 3:I'm all about being honest.
Speaker 2:Wouldn't be mad at all.
Speaker 3:I would not be mad.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I can tell you that, being honest, I would not be mad, cause I'm all about communication.
Speaker 3:We're going to talk about it. Why are you having these feelings?
Speaker 2:Why, let's talk about it. Are you going to give him that energy, though, if you come?
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:See, you might scare him though.
Speaker 3:You making me hot even asking the question, so I might I?
Speaker 1:don't know, you might scare him. Was you saying he already cheated?
Speaker 3:What I think he already cheated.
Speaker 1:But we coming with fire today.
Speaker 3:Say y'all coming with fire what I think he already cheated.
Speaker 1:If he came to you saying you know I've been thinking about it. This is woman at my job that I've been feeling.
Speaker 3:I probably will think no, I might take you know his word If he said cause. I feel like, why come say that after you already did it?
Speaker 2:Uh huh.
Speaker 3:So I feel like if you man enough to head a conversation, you ain't done it yet.
Speaker 2:So we can talk about it. He messed up by saying woman at his job, don't do that. No.
Speaker 1:Don't give him. I'm just saying don't do that.
Speaker 2:She probably quit your job tomorrow. You know what I'm saying. Don't do that.
Speaker 3:Not even a two week notice. Don't say at your job no, don't tell me.
Speaker 2:I was just asking that because a lot of times me and one are speaking, be honest with a girl, but they make it so difficult to do. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:That's why you got to create that space.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, you got to be up.
Speaker 3:You got to create that and I feel like that's what I like in my relationship. I'm going to create that, so my man could definitely tell me. Like you know, I've been having thoughts and we're going to talk about it and get to the bottom of it.
Speaker 2:Especially if I love you. I'm going to want to ask why could you handle him having feelings of cheating because your sex was trash?
Speaker 3:Could I handle that?
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but look, I got to ask If he come to you and honestly say hey man, look, this is horrible. Or I need you, or I need you to do X, y and Z.
Speaker 3:Can he not say horrible, I'm a little sensitive. He could come, he can. Can he say it better? Okay?
Speaker 2:He could probably say it better. Could you handle it though?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Could you get past the fact that you may be the issue to fix his problem?
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, I'm all about accountability. So, if he. I will want that, though. Come to me and tell me that so we could, especially if I love you. I'm going to want to work past it.
Speaker 1:So what if he wanted more people in the bedroom?
Speaker 3:Could he come and ask me that?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:He can talk about it. It ain't happening, but we can talk about it.
Speaker 1:So what if that's what he wanted? Though that's one of the things that he wanted.
Speaker 3:And that might be a deal breaker then.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:But he could definitely come. We could talk about it. If I love him, I'm going to try to figure out why. I'm going to dig deep. What's going on, why? Okay, but if he just like setting stone on it like this is what I want. I want to bring more partners in there. Okay, I'm not the one for you.
Speaker 1:Have you ever cheated?
Speaker 3:I might put on a different wig or something for you, but that's it.
Speaker 1:Have you ever cheated?
Speaker 3:Have I ever cheated?
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:No, no, I say that because I was going to tell you not to answer that. No, don't answer that, I'm going to tell you not to answer that one. Being a grown adult?
Speaker 1:no, when you like 18, that's the key to me. So yeah, you had a work-boyfriend or something.
Speaker 3:I had a couple.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's cheating.
Speaker 3:When I was 18.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's cheating yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, I feel like I was a kid, but no, not cheating, being grown only had two serious relationships and I never cheated.
Speaker 1:Okay, what age has grown? Not 18. Like you know.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:I done that.
Speaker 3:Well, my first serious relationship I was like 21. So, I feel like to me that was grown and we was serious.
Speaker 1:So, from 21 to however old you are now, you've never cheated, never cheated. Have you ever looked at somebody like no. They can get it.
Speaker 3:No, never. I don't believe that Never.
Speaker 2:I don't believe that one, we all, we all, I have not looked like they can get it.
Speaker 3:I never said, oh, he can get it. Yes, I find it attractive, of course.
Speaker 1:Everybody see something Right. You ain't never said like if I wasn't Maybe to like a celebrity, somebody that I know that it's not possible. You never seen somebody at West Hall, joe walking down the street.
Speaker 3:I've never, said since I was in a committed relationship, I've never said oh, he can get it if I wasn't. I've never said that.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's good, that's good, that's good.
Speaker 3:I was about to ask that.
Speaker 2:I don't know why you went there. I don't know either.
Speaker 3:I never said that, though.
Speaker 1:Do you think women can handle honesty?
Speaker 3:Yes, we want that.
Speaker 2:Okay, let me ask you this Just because you want it don't mean that you can handle it. Okay, let's split the question up, though. Do you believe you can handle honesty? Yes, okay. Do you believe, on the majority, that women can handle honesty?
Speaker 1:We don't lie here as a preemie. We want it.
Speaker 3:We all say handle. We want the honesty. It's about how we handle it. That's on us, how we can handle it. We may handle it in a different way that you don't agree with, but I definitely think we want men to be honest. Y'all need to be honest. We do, we do.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, next question Can y'all handle being honest.
Speaker 3:Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:Men can handle being honest, but the reason why a lot of men don't want to be honest is because they can't handle honesty. Because if you don't create a space for me to actually tell you how I feel and you start to gas like my feelings, then there's no longer any more conversational honesty coming from me.
Speaker 3:Really.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't think women can handle honesty.
Speaker 3:Why, why?
Speaker 1:Okay, say, a man is expressing how he feels right and it's making you feel awful, right. And then at some point you're going to be like, okay, I'm going to be honest. Well, he is telling you doesn't matter anymore, because now you feel some type of way.
Speaker 3:So he has but it's not about what you say, it's like how you say it.
Speaker 1:Why does that matter, what you mean?
Speaker 3:why does that matter? If you can handle honesty, then you should be able to handle but you can be honest and still like care about somebody's feelings because y'all want that right I would prefer-. You will want somebody to be honest with you, but still consider your feelings so not Me personally.
Speaker 1:I don't want nothing sugar coated.
Speaker 3:You don't have to be sugar coated.
Speaker 2:That's what it is.
Speaker 3:Caring about somebody's feelings is not sugar coated. No.
Speaker 2:I agree with what she's saying. I don't care, I do okay.
Speaker 1:I agree, you gotta work. For me it's not sugar coated.
Speaker 3:I agree, though you can say sugar coated is not really saying it. It's me and him that's me, and him.
Speaker 2:How many conversations have we had? And I be like bro, you ain't had to say it like that, bro.
Speaker 1:But my thing is this if-.
Speaker 3:It's a way to say it. It's a way to say it. You don't have to sugar coated. You can be honest and say whatever you gotta say to me, but how you say it.
Speaker 1:Okay. At the end of the day, no matter how a man says it, when a woman's feelings is hurt, what he says goes out the window, and now he has to make sure you're okay instead of dealing with what he said.
Speaker 3:No, but see, I think if how you say it I'm telling you plays a role in it, how you saying it, how you say it, it does it's all about how you say stuff to people. You gotta you know you can be honest but, still care about our feelings.
Speaker 1:I don't think you can't broke it.
Speaker 3:You said what.
Speaker 1:Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Anyway, next question Next question. Why do you think men can't handle when their girlfriend or woman cheats on them?
Speaker 3:Why do I think men can't handle it? Because I feel like it's the ego thing that's still ego to me. Y'all can do it to us, but if we was to do it to y'all, y'all can't handle that. So we ain't got none to what feelings.
Speaker 1:Because, too, I was about to say that.
Speaker 3:I was about to say, because y'all know, if we cheat we probably feeling the we ain't doing it. Most women we not doing it for the same reasons y'all do it for just because. So I think if we cheat y'all don't have to do some self-reflecting Like dang, what did I do to make her cheat? And y'all ain't ready for that.
Speaker 1:Ooh, ooh, since you just said that, so y'all feeling it's gonna be a little hurt.
Speaker 3:Hold on, shawty hold on Shawty.
Speaker 1:So you say that we gotta do some self-reflecting. Yeah, I think. And men cheat do women do self-reflecting, men we do no y'all don't, yes, we do, no, y'all don't, we do.
Speaker 3:Are you crazy? We do. So that be the main thing. Like why would you do it? Yes, that's self-reflecting. Because that woman, especially if she know what she bring to the table, was like why are you cheating? So we do do, self-reflecting.
Speaker 2:That's one percent of women. Nah, it's more than one.
Speaker 3:I would say it's one, it's probably like 90.
Speaker 1:Wow, ain't nothing 90. No, ain't. Nothing 90.
Speaker 2:I say one percent of women, because the reason why I say that it just comes down to this how can women self-reflect when they're already perfect?
Speaker 3:No, we don't think we perfect.
Speaker 2:Most women do. Okay, can I say this? We?
Speaker 3:may not tell y'all that, but that's why we be hurt when y'all cheat, because we do do a lot of self-reflecting. We may not tell y'all, but we do. That's why we be hurt, because we don't understand why.
Speaker 2:Because women believe they should have everything.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:I ain't gonna let you say that about us.
Speaker 3:We be doing self-reflecting.
Speaker 1:I don't think.
Speaker 3:Ladies, we be doing self-reflecting, you saying why did you do that?
Speaker 1:Why did you cheat? I don't think that's self-reflecting. That is asking yourself.
Speaker 3:Why? We wanna know why we want you to tell us I cheated because X, y, z. We wanna know why.
Speaker 2:Self-reflecting. Is he cheated because I?
Speaker 3:That's the asking why, why? And because that's still asking the question.
Speaker 1:But you're not asking why. Do you think he cheated? What did I do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that caused you to go cheat. I mean, I would ask that.
Speaker 3:I feel like that's part of self-reflecting, like why, let me know why you cheated? And then, based off of what you tell me, I'm gonna hold myself accountable.
Speaker 1:Are you gonna stay with him, though, because you did?
Speaker 3:say you, I probably won't, because.
Speaker 1:So then it's not gonna really matter.
Speaker 3:I probably won't but I still wanna know.
Speaker 1:For the next person, so I can be better for the next one.
Speaker 3:Yeah, duh.
Speaker 1:You say, all right, okay, I'm gonna be better for the next one. All right, man Question. Then Say a man tells you what he don't like about you, right?
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm, he ain't gonna tell you nothing.
Speaker 1:Nah, I'm just Okay and you don't change it while you're in a relationship.
Speaker 3:But I'm gonna make sure I change it for the next.
Speaker 1:Why is that? Why is that that's?
Speaker 3:part of growing you live in a learn Well, well, well, well.
Speaker 2:Every lesson is a blessing.
Speaker 3:Well, well, well he should have stuck around for me to show him that I was gonna work on that, but you well, well, did he? Leave too quick. Did he tell me what he didn't like about me and then left? No, all right. So if he tell me, then you stick around, I'm gonna work on it, okay, question.
Speaker 1:But if you leave too soon.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna be better for the next.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna give you an example. Say in the relationship he say yo, you need to work out.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Not you cause. You look phenomenal.
Speaker 3:Thank you say that. Uh, I do need to work out though, but go ahead.
Speaker 1:But okay say, he say that, that you need to work out. But, you don't. It's been like two years, but y'all break up then and then later on he sees you out somewhere Looking good, right, and then you say, yeah, I finally got in the gym. You know, got my body eating, writing everything.
Speaker 3:I took your advice. Thank you, my husband love it.
Speaker 2:But why do he get a better version of you than?
Speaker 3:the one you were with you post, then he stick around. That goes back to. How long is he supposed to wait Y'all when you said he was with her for two years.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Okay. So let me ask you this If y'all know that shit we post to build each other up?
Speaker 1:Did he take?
Speaker 3:me with him to go work out.
Speaker 1:You have to go, did he ask me, did he?
Speaker 3:create that space for me to go.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure he did.
Speaker 3:Did he ask me when he was going to work out? Did he say come on, babe, let's go Go with me.
Speaker 1:Let's say he did.
Speaker 3:Going to walk with me.
Speaker 1:Let's say he did.
Speaker 3:And he did, yeah, and you did, and I'm still choosing not to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause you love flaming hot Cheetos.
Speaker 3:And she weren't ready and maybe they ain't meant for each other.
Speaker 2:But I just know comfortability play a lot in it. To where, like when you with somebody for so long, you have this thing in your mind that I got them. You know, I got them. They ain't going nowhere. Blah, blah blah. But then when the relationship is over with, that's when you like. Okay, now you thinking about what you need to do to get the next guy, but that guy gets the better version.
Speaker 3:That's what's supposed to happen, right.
Speaker 2:No, how come? Why can't the guy you with get the best version at that time?
Speaker 3:I feel like you can't. You know, wisdom comes with time. So if I knew that that's what ended my last relationship, I'm gonna be better for the next. That's life.
Speaker 2:Okay, but that only applies to women.
Speaker 3:No, it don't.
Speaker 2:The reason why I say that is most women, when they get in a relationship, have a checklist of what this guy is supposed to be upfront and they won't date them unless they already are.
Speaker 3:You're right, but You're right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's you know.
Speaker 3:You're right.
Speaker 2:And you know what some women say.
Speaker 3:What.
Speaker 2:When they do wrong? Why can't you just be a good dude and just wait on me, or be a good guy and accept me, and be a good guy and do X, y, z. It's like me and gotta take the backseat.
Speaker 3:Not really, Cause we wait on y'all. We wait on y'all to grow, to mature pop the question we wait on y'all. We wait on do cheat and we wait on y'all. We wait on y'all, Probably more than y'all wait on us. We wait on y'all.
Speaker 2:Slowly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we do, we gonna have you back. We do, we wait on y'all.
Speaker 1:Cause the nerve.
Speaker 3:Knock it off. We wait on y'all, yeah, okay, but way more than y'all would probably ever wait on us for I don't think so. I know so.
Speaker 1:I think okay, who do you think has more patience, Men or women?
Speaker 3:Women, me and y'all don't have no patience why? Not that's part of one of the reasons probably why y'all cheat, cause y'all just don't have no patience and don't wanna work it out what's going on at home, so y'all go run to the next. But I think women have more patience than men. You think men have more patience than women? Be honest, how so?
Speaker 1:Because men are less emotional.
Speaker 3:What you think.
Speaker 2:Men pick their battles more than women do. There's a lot of things that women do. You know a girlfriend or a wife may do that their husband just overlooked for a certain period of time For peace, just to have peace.
Speaker 3:Why y'all do that to yourself.
Speaker 1:Because we think certain things just aren't worth it. We just gonna let it slide.
Speaker 2:Men expire first. We don't wanna go earlier than that.
Speaker 1:Believe it or not, men hate to argue.
Speaker 3:Women. We don't like to argue. We don't be arguing.
Speaker 2:Women love them.
Speaker 3:emotional rise Well part of it, because I'm speaking for me and the women I be around. We don't like to argue.
Speaker 2:We don't. We like peace, we don't like to argue. I know women that say they love to argue because the intimate time is better afterwards no.
Speaker 3:So they argue on purpose.
Speaker 1:I never understood that I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 3:Never understood that, Especially with me. It's mental. So if I'm mad at you, I'm not turned on. No, it's not gonna be better.
Speaker 1:Okay, Say you're married right.
Speaker 3:And we're gonna speak that into existence.
Speaker 1:Married For five years. And he do something to piss you off.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Do you stop being a wife?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell you, we're gonna talk about it. Yeah, but okay just because you talk about it doesn't mean that you're not mad anymore.
Speaker 3:No, I'm gonna still be a wife, because that's not fair For me, I'm gonna treat my man how I want him to treat me. I don't want you to stop being a husband because you're mad, because we ain't perfect. I'm gonna get mad, he gonna get mad. That'll mean you stop being you or who you are to me no.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm gonna ask for now and I'm gonna ask this question every time we have a woman on her what is your definition of a good man? A good man, my definition of a good man.
Speaker 3:My definition of a good man. My definition of a good man, my definition of a good man, my definition of a good man Protect, definitely Protect, definitely Provide, but he don't have to provide everything. Do you put your man in situations?
Speaker 1:where he have to fight? No, not at all. I don't do drama, not at all.
Speaker 3:Not at all. No, because if he fight I'm fighting. So no, but I like a gentleman, I like a sensitive man. I know a lot of women don't, but I do.
Speaker 1:Can you explain what a sensitive man is?
Speaker 3:Like. I want you to care about my feelings and, you know, put my feelings first before you do anything Like, because I'm a very sensitive and emotional person. I'm a cry baby, so I want you to take that into consideration when you walk out the door or however you handle me. I want you to be sensitive, because I'm going to be sensitive to him.
Speaker 1:Okay, you keep going and fun.
Speaker 3:We got to have fun. Got to be fun, respectful and loyal, Not just simple stuff, you know.
Speaker 1:You didn't say anything about vibes and energy.
Speaker 3:I said fun, I mean I feel like we definitely got a vibe. We'll have fun if we ain't vibing right.
Speaker 1:Nowadays, when you ask a woman what they're looking for, some I'm not going to say most some would say I'm just looking for a vibe.
Speaker 3:Nah, I mean.
Speaker 1:But like, yeah, it's like. What does that mean exactly?
Speaker 3:I mean, I'm the vibe, so you know.
Speaker 1:Tokyo.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm the vibe, so that's going to be there.
Speaker 1:Have you ever dated that?
Speaker 3:Did it what the man I just described? Yes.
Speaker 2:What happened?
Speaker 1:Why didn't you let me get it out?
Speaker 2:I got to, got to jump in there. What happened? Pause?
Speaker 3:What happened. To be honest, at the time, I probably weren't ready for it.
Speaker 1:You weren't ready.
Speaker 3:I was.
Speaker 1:Make up your mind now.
Speaker 3:But because that just happened, like yesterday, I'm just like um, but I will say I see that, so I'm trying to right my wrong fact, if that makes sense. What happened? I mean, we broke up.
Speaker 2:A lot of times man me and Will hold on. I'm sorry to cut you off but it just came to me.
Speaker 3:What happened was it was that. But you know how, women, we have a checklist that we feel like, and I'm learning I've been learning this through just this last couple of months that nobody's perfect, I mean, I've been through that, but, like I said, sometimes we'd be wanting the man to, so, even though he was all of that, I found myself kind of like picking them apart, like you know so you were looking for something wrong. I wasn't looking for it, it just wasn't perfect. So I kind of you know.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 3:I kind of step back and it's like it yourself.
Speaker 2:You said I would gaslight it yourself Probably self sabotage.
Speaker 1:You see what I'm saying, man.
Speaker 2:So is it safe to say Hold on hold on hold on 9.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying they know what they want. I was just about to go there, go ahead, and then when, and then was right in front of but can I say this no, you can't, no, you can't.
Speaker 3:But go ahead I was just telling my brother this other day. We know what we want, but sometimes we steal from me, and I told my brother I'd be all over the place sometime.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on. You know what you want, I know what I want. Was it from the person?
Speaker 3:If it's, who can I say? I didn't have a lot of experience because, like I told y'all, before that guy I only had one other relationship. Okay, I didn't have experience. So I was thinking, maybe it's something like oh, this is good, but maybe it could be better.
Speaker 2:Can I ask you where you got your information from? Which of me For dating? Where did you get your knowledge? Where did you hear you know as you were dating? This is what it should be like.
Speaker 3:I really wasn't dating, though I never really dated. When you say dated, you mean like multiple people being single, you've never done that and that's why I thought with him maybe I need to do that, because I've never done that, never. I've never talked to, had friends. I've never done that because I was with one person since.
Speaker 2:What I've noticed, too, though, is that I don't see a lot of women talking to older women who have become what it is that they want.
Speaker 3:Right, that's true. See, I don't have that.
Speaker 2:And see men. They'll talk to an OG in a minute and just take in a bunch of information, but I don't see women doing that.
Speaker 1:Because women compete with each other.
Speaker 3:No, I mean, but for me I don't compete, but I feel like I feel like for me. Who would I talk to?
Speaker 1:Don't look at me. Don't look at me.
Speaker 3:Who would I talk to? When he said like an older woman, who would I talk to? I have all brothers. I mean, I have older cousins, but nobody in my family is really married my mom's been married twice, but it ain't.
Speaker 3:So who would I talk to. So when I got out of my first serious relationship and then I thought I was going to date and figure it out, but then I found that guy that I was telling y'all about, he put it into that and I got in a relationship and then, when it was everything that I wanted, I was thinking like, maybe it's more, this is good, maybe it's more. Maybe I do need to experience dating because I never did.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me ask you this. This is just a yes or no question. Do you think women are taught? Do you think women are taught what to expect from a man?
Speaker 3:Yes, but it's all about who the teacher is.
Speaker 1:But it's a yes, though right, I mean I was.
Speaker 3:Not from my father, but not from my father. But why you do that.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, the next part of that question is do you think Women are taught how to treat a man?
Speaker 3:Yes, but then it goes back to already being taught the right stuff and who the teacher is.
Speaker 1:I disagree, but go ahead.
Speaker 3:Okay, why you disagree?
Speaker 1:Because mostly you would just hear a man is supposed to do X, y and Z.
Speaker 3:That's why I said they ain't being taught the right stuff. They being taught, but just not the right stuff, Cause I feel like a lot, especially older women, as long as you can cook and clean for your man, please them, that's it. But I don't think that's it. So that's why I said you know they, not we, not being taught the right stuff.
Speaker 1:I don't think y'all be in top that stuff at all.
Speaker 3:Really, we being taught? Now, come on, no, I'm just, I'm just like that we being taught.
Speaker 1:This is just my experience, I think more women are told what to expect from a man, but they're never told what they should do for a man.
Speaker 3:I think that come with the cooking and cleaning.
Speaker 1:But there's more to life. I said that that's survival. Everybody should know how to cook and clean. That's a base.
Speaker 3:Right, but that's what I'm saying. The teachers are telling the students that that's important.
Speaker 2:You can cook and clean and please your man, I'm gonna teach some stuff real quick. With my age, you feel me.
Speaker 3:With your age. Yeah, he act like he old. I'm there, I'm there.
Speaker 2:I do think that they are being taught stuff. They're being taught only about stuff, but they are not being taught about intangible things that you need to have a relationship and marriage work.
Speaker 3:I agree.
Speaker 1:You just said what I basically said, but smarter.
Speaker 3:He said what I said, that we are being taught just.
Speaker 2:I'm there, you know, I'm him, I am he.
Speaker 3:He said what I said. Y'all both said what I said. We are being taught just not the right stuff, yeah.
Speaker 2:Intangible things are way more important than stuff.
Speaker 3:Yes, definitely.
Speaker 1:Okay, since you said cooking and cleaning. Besides cooking and cleaning, what are women taught to do for a man? Cook clean and pleasing, besides the easy stuff.
Speaker 3:See the teachers that I had. That's all I heard. So this stuff that came with experience, from me being in a relationship and having conversations with a man, you know, but that's all I was taught. I mean, I really want to taught it because me and my mom never had those type of conversations. But just hearing it at a barbecue wait till it man's heart is through his stomach. So that's feeding, pleasing, and a man to be cool.
Speaker 1:That's who we be talking about, and still can't cook.
Speaker 2:Still can't cook.
Speaker 3:Well, you know they ain't got the right teacher.
Speaker 2:My mother couldn't cook. When she got with my dad, she couldn't cook at all.
Speaker 3:Because that probably wasn't important to your dad.
Speaker 2:Well, it was. It was, but you know she at this time we was living in Germany she would call the states to get recipes for my grandmother to try to cook for my father and he saw that and guess what?
Speaker 3:The food.
Speaker 2:It started getting better. He saw the effort, but the phone bill was insane, extravagant. But she was trying, but guess what? How can you be upset when she's doing exactly what it is that you asked for? And she honestly tried and she got to the point to where she got cold at it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I ain't mad at it. Yeah, go ahead, ma.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did her thing. Rip to the mother. Go ahead, brother.
Speaker 1:I mean, you just said that I had to. I had to, yeah, but for some reason I just felt down.
Speaker 2:Nah, it's all good. I'm sorry, my mom was cold.
Speaker 3:That's how I want my kids to refer to me when I leave.
Speaker 1:My mama was cold. She was.
Speaker 3:My daughter told me that now.
Speaker 1:She just wants you to buy her something. No, she ain't lying, she ain't lying.
Speaker 3:She ain't lying.
Speaker 1:You got anything you want to ask us Since you showed up?
Speaker 2:Yeah, since you're the only one who cares.
Speaker 3:Say I'm the only one who cares, did I ask y'all? When y'all asked me why I do me and Cheat? Did y'all answer that question? Yep, you answered when you cheated, yeah, okay, yeah, what'd you say?
Speaker 1:Because I could.
Speaker 3:Oh, because you could, did you answer that?
Speaker 2:No, I never answered that question. She's the same. I ain't never answered that question.
Speaker 3:Why do you need?
Speaker 2:it. I ain't gonna say I've done my thing in my younger years, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I have. Who hasn't? Well, I haven't, but yeah.
Speaker 2:I just went through a period of doing what I thought everybody was supposed to do at the time. You know one of them things where you, just you know, saw all your older cousins. You know they did they thing.
Speaker 3:It was normal. It was normal so.
Speaker 2:That's what you do, and I realized that I got in a relationship and that one got away because of my goofiness. So that's when I flipped it around. That's good and that was it Just losing something that you wanted. It caused you to change.
Speaker 3:That's good. You know, that's good.
Speaker 2:I learned from it.
Speaker 3:I respect that.
Speaker 2:Have you heard?
Speaker 3:the I don't respect what you said, but yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't, are you done? Oh yeah, okay, just came to me like that. Have you ever heard the phrase the dating pool has piss in it?
Speaker 3:The dating pool has piss in it.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:You sound like it ain't nothing out here.
Speaker 1:I'm a dead.
Speaker 3:Basically yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:The dating pool has? Yeah, especially the older you get. I'm seeing that now.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:It was easy in my twenties. Now it's.
Speaker 1:Okay, now that's you 30 plus, say I'm 30 plus. You 30 plus? Yeah, Is it? Do you still have the same standards that you had before?
Speaker 3:No, I'll be a fool To have the same standards I had at 20?.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're going to have you back.
Speaker 3:Sure, not at all. I'd be a fool. When I was in my, I'd have. Well, I had eight child, but I have two little girls who grow. No, I'll be a fool.
Speaker 1:Are your standards higher now? Or I don't want to say lower, but like me or the Higher?
Speaker 3:see, it's weird. I wouldn't say higher. I have different standards. Okay, I wouldn't say higher because I think when I was younger, my standards was. It was I thought a man was just supposed to provide that, was it?
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:But now you know it's different. So I don't say I wouldn't say they're higher.
Speaker 1:Okay, last question then Do you have anything else?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:If you could pick out one standard that you had in your 20s that you don't have now, what would that be?
Speaker 3:I just said it At 20,. It was all about if he could provide that was it.
Speaker 1:That was it If he had money.
Speaker 3:If he had money and now. Now, I mean you don't have to have money. He don't not.
Speaker 1:How, like when I was 20, no, are you on a high roller. High, you want a sugar daddy.
Speaker 3:Not even a sugar daddy, but he had to.
Speaker 1:yeah, you didn't have whatever you like. Yeah, that's what I was into because I was young.
Speaker 3:I ain't know no better. Okay, but now I mean of course he gotta come you know the norm.
Speaker 1:What is the norm For you?
Speaker 3:He gotta be able to meet me halfway. He gotta be able to meet me where I'm at. But see, I don't know. That's why I said they different. I'm still trying to figure that out. I ain't gonna lie. I'm trying to figure that out.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you cleaned that up.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was gonna ask you, you know, why does he have to meet you halfway?
Speaker 3:But you don't have to. You cleaned it up. You cleaned it up. It's cool, you cleaned it up. You ain't gonna get me. Because, I'm figuring it out. I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 1:Well, this has been a good conversation. It's been very good, good conversation. I hope you can take this back to your peoples. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Definitely we are. Spread the word you know what I'm saying, definitely.
Speaker 1:Because we gonna have you back again, because this was a great conversation.
Speaker 3:Okay, love to be here.
Speaker 1:Any final words.
Speaker 3:Nah, when y'all had me back, I needed a car service. I'm just playing. A car service somebody to open the door.
Speaker 1:Makeup, all that.
Speaker 3:I don't wear makeup but bottle water, you know, okay, in a car service.
Speaker 1:Wait, don't say, we didn't hook you up with something to drink, though.
Speaker 3:I did, okay, I did All right.
Speaker 2:You got anything else you wanna say Nah man, I'm good, bro All right.
Speaker 1:Well, usually we end the show on a motivational quote, but since you the star, Say I'm the star. You, the star of this episode. Do you have a motivational quote?
Speaker 3:Hmm, I don't know. Oh, you asked me too quick, I didn't think about that. Ah, I don't know. Don't know how to come off. See, that's something, I'm deep. I told you that, so I will have to think about it. I don't know. You got one.
Speaker 1:Maybe I can steal something from you. Teach your kids on how to be better at dating and marriage than you.
Speaker 3:Teach your kids.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 3:How to be better at dating. Huh, you got one.
Speaker 2:I would say learning from one another is the only way we can connect.
Speaker 3:I say hold on. How am I saying it? I wanna make sure I got it right before I say it. Dang, it just left me Hold on. Y'all know the saying. What is it? Why is people learn from this? What is it?
Speaker 1:I think it's. Why is people learn from-.
Speaker 3:The mistakes of others, but it's something before that I don't know. I had it, didn't it?
Speaker 1:left me. But yeah, I think what she's trying to say is love yours, love yours. Yes, sir. Well, terry, thanks again for coming.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me. We appreciate it.
Speaker 1:We will do this again.
Speaker 3:Definitely.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 3:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, I'll be your boy nine, they call me Dyer, supremely full of it pie cans. Yes, sir, and we out Happy to girls. Baby had a good time, had a good time. This is fun, this is fun.
Speaker 1:I thought I was gonna have to put Dyer in the head, hey, hey. Hey, I was nice to you, I had some heat, but I can't say it because I look at you differently.
Speaker 2:I think you found somebody that snapped back at you, yeah.