Ever found yourself stressing over the perfect Valentine’s Day plan, or is it just another day for you and your sweetie? DY3R and N.I.M.E are here to unravel the tangled web of love and expectation that seems to peak every February 14th. We're spilling personal tales of Valentine's misadventures and pondering why expressing our true desires to our partners often feels like a game of charades. From childhood card exchanges to adult extravaganzas, we're questioning if grand gestures really make up for the lack of everyday affection or if they're just a way to score brownie points.
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, but what happens when it crumbles? Join us as we dive into the rocky journey of rebuilding trust, and how new love doesn't have to pay the price for an ex's tab. We're getting real about the misadventures of texting, where a misplaced period can spell disaster, and the fine art of tackling a storm in a text message. Our conversation isn't just about avoiding the pitfalls; it's a toolkit for forging stronger connections through active listening and choosing our battles wisely.
When it comes to decision-making in relationships, where do you draw the line between supporting your partner and standing your ground? We delve into the murky waters of shared goals, individual boundaries, and everything in between. From the logistics of major purchases to the delicate dance of privacy in a partnership—Dire and Nine don't hold back on the hard-hitting questions. We wrap things up by shedding light on male friendships and the overlooked need for genuine emotional support. Whether it’s love or friendship, we're tackling the essence of what it means to truly have someone's back.
Ever found yourself stressing over the perfect Valentine’s Day plan, or is it just another day for you and your sweetie? DY3R and N.I.M.E are here to unravel the tangled web of love and expectation that seems to peak every February 14th. We're spilling personal tales of Valentine's misadventures and pondering why expressing our true desires to our partners often feels like a game of charades. From childhood card exchanges to adult extravaganzas, we're questioning if grand gestures really make up for the lack of everyday affection or if they're just a way to score brownie points.
Trust is the bedrock of any relationship, but what happens when it crumbles? Join us as we dive into the rocky journey of rebuilding trust, and how new love doesn't have to pay the price for an ex's tab. We're getting real about the misadventures of texting, where a misplaced period can spell disaster, and the fine art of tackling a storm in a text message. Our conversation isn't just about avoiding the pitfalls; it's a toolkit for forging stronger connections through active listening and choosing our battles wisely.
When it comes to decision-making in relationships, where do you draw the line between supporting your partner and standing your ground? We delve into the murky waters of shared goals, individual boundaries, and everything in between. From the logistics of major purchases to the delicate dance of privacy in a partnership—Dire and Nine don't hold back on the hard-hitting questions. We wrap things up by shedding light on male friendships and the overlooked need for genuine emotional support. Whether it’s love or friendship, we're tackling the essence of what it means to truly have someone's back.
I hey yo supremely full of it, ha ha.
Speaker 3:Hey, have I told you I love you? Have I told you you still mean the world? Okay, you guys start talking at the beginning of episode, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I'm a supremely full of it podcast but, another episode. Yeah, they call me dire and I be your boy nine man. So this is the pre Valentine's Day episode. Pre you know I'm saying so. How you? How are you preparing yourself for Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2:I don't.
Speaker 3:That's, that's it. Yeah, I don't, why not?
Speaker 2:I don't like, I just do.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I just I don't like to stress myself out about stuff.
Speaker 3:You know, do you buy a gift the week of the day of the day, the day before what? I have no idea?
Speaker 2:I Really don't take no thought into it, bro.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:Don't, because you know, my thing is this when you stretch yourself out about doing it, bro, nine times out of ten, you get it wrong anyway. I.
Speaker 3:Feel like I mean this gonna sound like I'm full of myself, but but I just feel like what, like, what was a made-up holiday? When, when I'm good to you every day?
Speaker 1:Mmm facts.
Speaker 3:You know I'm saying, like Everyday with your boys, valentine's Day. You know I'm talking about.
Speaker 2:I rather just ask you what you want to do and what you want For Valentine's Day than to try to do some of my own, yep.
Speaker 3:You don't get it right. No way I like. I don't like buying gifts for anybody. Like holidays, birthdays no, I didn't.
Speaker 2:So for Valentine's Day, I'm still trying to get on that Christmas at Christmas wish list, bro, like talk to me in December got all bad. I'm gonna bring this up, rewind this joint.
Speaker 3:Okay and I'm gonna rewind the last episode that I explained it. Well, like for Valentine's Day, I just feel like here go my card.
Speaker 2:Are you generous?
Speaker 3:I mean cuz. Well, I know that she's not gonna. You know I'm saying you, you can't put an SUV on credit like that, so I'm not worried about that. You know I'm saying some shoes, a purse.
Speaker 2:You know I'm saying that's what it do.
Speaker 3:I can handle that.
Speaker 2:Mmm but. I don't handle any purse.
Speaker 3:I'm going to say yes, but with the question mark at the end. What does that mean that? That mean. But you know it may take me a while to pay it off.
Speaker 2:But you know I can't. I can't get you my card and you just have free reign to it, bro.
Speaker 3:I'm very she got she. She gonna be respectful, I hope so. I'm saying she gonna be respectful, I hope so. But uh, yeah, like I just think, all right if you go, uh, if you go all out for Valentine's Day mm-hmm does that mean that you trash 300 and some days out the year? This day, one day to make up for it all?
Speaker 2:Nah, man, no, I ain't gonna say you trash.
Speaker 3:You're not doing enough. I.
Speaker 2:I just want to know, when did Valentine's Day Only become about women? Because you remember growing up you used to buy the little cars to take the class. Yeah, the, will you be my Valentine card?
Speaker 1:Girls back then you had them too though used to exchange them, you feel?
Speaker 3:me, then you Me. I need the bleachers. Yeah, with the little thing that you be lying and then you be like Then you put them closer.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 3:Then you know, take your glasses off.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know, I'm saying you sound real life, go ahead, I'm just, and then and. And then you know, go, go ahead and tell everybody how you dishonored your parents. Go ahead.
Speaker 3:Oh hey, I got a story. No, but, but I thought we were each other's Valentine's right I just, I'm good to you all year round, so If I don't get you enough Valentine's Day, that shouldn't bother you.
Speaker 2:It shouldn't you know I'm saying, but again, we supposed to be each other's Valentine, okay.
Speaker 3:Let me ask you this You've been married since childbirth, so this part Hmm. It seemed like it. Yeah, but what? What's one thing you did for Valentine's Day that the person didn't appreciate?
Speaker 2:Um, you know what I say this. I don't think I've had a situation to where you know, with my wife or anybody else when they verbally said they didn't like what I did for my Valentine's Day. Because I'm the type of person that if you don't appreciate what I do for you, I quit.
Speaker 3:So you won't like never done. But what? What you mean, you done.
Speaker 2:February 14th is erased off my calendar.
Speaker 3:Okay, oh yeah, I Cooked for one and At the end, never cooked for again for 300 and yeah, well she. She told me to start my game up. I said how I was like food. She said nothing. The food was cool, it's just not what I wanted.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:I said all right.
Speaker 2:What does she want? Did she tell you?
Speaker 3:flowers and flowers and chocolate.
Speaker 2:Let me ask you this the meal that you cooked her, was it more expensive than what? Flowers and chocolate with a cost?
Speaker 3:with depends on how big a bouquet and the size chocolate I get. I mean. I could get one small things of chocolate and just one one rose pedal.
Speaker 2:But see, I've never bought a bouquet of roses in my life but isn't the thought that counts, though it should be.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm saying it should be.
Speaker 2:This probably talk about or I'll be letting these good men go or if she expected flowers and candy, why didn't she just express what she would have liked to have on Valentine's Day? That, or or your food was just that bad, not? It was anything else would have been better.
Speaker 3:Who knows step. You gave up a clearly clearly.
Speaker 2:Not, but see my if.
Speaker 3:I was a bum dude and took it at McDonald's, though she would have been like I love you nuggets, I love these nuggets, I mean is that honey mustard he got me?
Speaker 2:I be on Facebook and everything.
Speaker 3:He got me Fresh dip to the everything. He's so great.
Speaker 2:I can see you now with flower on your face and kitchen toe. I'm trying to get it in.
Speaker 3:I cook like a healthy, a burrito, a healthy burrito. Yeah, what's a healthy burrito? It was a wheat burrito wrap, yuck, okay, um spinach, okay, hamburger meat, all right, lettuce, tomatoes, mm-hmm. And I forgot what type of sauce I had, nigga you made a cheeseburger wrap. Exactly what that is a healthy wrap, no cheeseburger wrap, not a cheese.
Speaker 2:Please type in the comments if that's a healthy burrito or a cheeseburger wrap.
Speaker 3:There was no cheese on it.
Speaker 2:That's the only thing was missing. No, what pickles. Everybody don't eat pickles on a burgers.
Speaker 3:All right, g, that's a cheese.
Speaker 2:That's a burger wrap. He said it was healthy because it was wrapped in wheat. It was wrapped in wheat, sweet. Step your game up. That's what she said. Now I'm, I'm playing with you. You did a good thing as a man, bro. You did what you could do.
Speaker 3:See, man, this is how it's, this is how good man Turning the savages. This is how good man turning the savages, bro.
Speaker 2:No, man but. I don't know.
Speaker 3:No, hold on, Hold on. We're gonna sit right here, okay, cuz I'm hurt. This is why there ain't no good man out here okay. Because it's. Because it's.
Speaker 2:Honestly okay, at what age was this? 30, something. But my thing is, if that's something that's definitely out of your norm, that's special. Yeah, you know, I'm saying like Don't make me feel it's the truth, though special.
Speaker 2:No it's the truth, man, anything every day, but I'm talking about. But you cook for women every day, all the time, or whatever. That's what I'm saying, that's, you know. I mean, if, if I was to tell the girl I was with look, come to the house, I'm gonna cook for you, we're gonna chill out, blah, blah, blah. I'm put your feet up, you ain't gotta do a thing. Mm-hmm, that's how that? That might be out of your norm, but that's special.
Speaker 3:So now my cheeseburger wrap is this is why we talk about man, this is why the world won't niggas.
Speaker 2:Even talking about the type of rabbit will. I'm just saying the thought of you wanting to cook for her so she didn't have to cook for herself. It's cool, See. This is coming from somebody who don't buy stuff like that but I'm really upset with you bro. I'm like you. I'm just saying but how can? How is it not a burger wrap bro?
Speaker 3:What the fuck does it make what? Why the name gotta be?
Speaker 2:put to it. It was funny. Okay, I'm gonna tell you why. When you said healthy rap.
Speaker 3:That is a healthy rap.
Speaker 2:It's just a rap, but it was. You know what I was thinking. I was thinking like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Toe fool or something Nah.
Speaker 2:In my mind, like if you go to Subway and say I'm about to go get a healthy sub, I hear a veggie sub.
Speaker 3:Even though Subway not healthy, I agree.
Speaker 2:I did, yeah, I think yeah, I should say a veggie sub. You know what I'm saying? See, man, what was different that you made in that rap? Okay, let me ask you this so if there was a hamburger made with a wheat bun and lettuce and tomato, would that not make it a burger still?
Speaker 3:A hamburger. It wasn't made with the affection and the time. I didn't get nothing out of that. I feel you. You know what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying I did it for her. You did, and that's why I say it was out of your norm. That was special.
Speaker 3:No, no, Nigga you. Today's show is about how it be your own people. That's what this show is about it be your own people. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I think you did a good thing.
Speaker 3:Nah, g, I do. Yeah, a good thing. That wasn't good enough, I know.
Speaker 2:I just laughed at the term healthy rap on my show. Nah my G, nah my G.
Speaker 3:Healthy rap Bro whatever happens after this show. I know who ain't getting a rap ever Is because of you. Huh, Whatever I do outside of this episode is because of you. So your hands, okay. Nah, man, it's cool. Today's episode, it be your own people. That ain't the name of it. You know what I'm saying. You mean cheese. You made a cheese move, hey y'all.
Speaker 2:Hey, you was feeling that, that ain't it that is so trash. Today's episode of.
Speaker 3:Dyer in the Kitchen. Oh my God. Okay, all right, you know what. I almost called you by your first name. Okay, let's try this again. You a cold piece of words, g. I'm really like. You made a cheese move, like we was in a major school.
Speaker 1:You made a cheese move, just stick a fan in cheese, move you trash. And it was in the kitchen, like you know what.
Speaker 2:I'm going to make this healthy Bitch the bun chop this joint up and throw a wheat wrap on this mug.
Speaker 3:You want to know. The bad thing was I told her, I showed her the video, like a few days before, of what I was making for her.
Speaker 2:So she already knew yeah, then why would she? Did she think it was nasty or something? No, it just wasn't chocolate and flowers. But if you knew why, okay, well, I mean, but you know what she saw the cheeseburger being made Right.
Speaker 3:Right, and you were sitting right.
Speaker 1:How long have we been talking, bro?
Speaker 2:Hey, yo Chubby.
Speaker 3:Yo, I was about to cuss. I was about to cuss.
Speaker 2:You want to get to the show? Nah, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now to her defense. Most women want flowers and chocolate on Valentine's Day.
Speaker 3:That was it All. Right, bro, yep.
Speaker 2:You did the thing, though, bro, that was out the box. I commend you.
Speaker 3:Hats off. So Today's episode is about healthy relationships. Right right, because, god knows, we ain't got a healthy friendship, oh man. So. I'm on your side, Nah, nah nah I don't want you over here. I'm on your side bro, I don't want you over here, got you. I found a couple things that describes a healthy relationship, because everybody strives to have a healthy relationship. Everybody has their own definition of what a healthy relationship is. You know, it could be the man cooking a cheeseburger wrap for them.
Speaker 2:Facts everybody needs calories.
Speaker 3:Right, or it could be a nigga, not even putting thought into it.
Speaker 1:Too shay.
Speaker 3:Too shay. There's all types of healthy relationships Facts, but I'm going to run down this list. Hopefully I don't see cooking on here, because if it is, it's a cheeseburger wrap. I might have to skip that one, because clearly niggas don't appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, anyway, I would have ate it. Yeah, I would have ate it. Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:You know what Pause nigga. Get to the show you got me, you got me. I don't have nothing but shame right now that America knows that I ain't good enough. You know what I'm saying? Amen, I'm going to buy you out. That's what I'm going to do?
Speaker 1:I'm going to buy you out.
Speaker 2:Why y'all break up?
Speaker 3:Cheeseburger wrap.
Speaker 2:Yup cheeseburger.
Speaker 3:Cheeseburger, anyway, so we just spent so much time.
Speaker 2:Brad hold 20 minutes Anyway.
Speaker 3:Okay, first thing, the first sight of you having a healthy relationship you respect each other, I agree. Why is respect so important in a relationship?
Speaker 2:You know what? I'm glad it's number one. Okay, because respect if you respect somebody, you give them, you put them where they are supposed to be. Okay, you know me as a man. If you respect me as a man, you understand my role and where I play. If I respect you as a woman, I understand your role and where you're supposed to play. As long as we have that respect for each other and we're sitting this relationship, everything else should come a little easier.
Speaker 3:You can't. There's no way you could be with somebody that you don't respect, Just like you can't love somebody that you don't respect. Respect is is how you treat me basically. You know what I'm saying. If every time I ask you something and you just wave me off for something or just brush me off like I would ever, clearly you don't respect me.
Speaker 2:But I think men and women view respect different. We do Respect and love different. I think for the most part women wanna feel loved and men wanna feel respected. Yeah, because respect is how we feel loved. Right Love is how they feel respected.
Speaker 3:Okay, next one. You trust one another.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, trust each other until you can't trust them, no more, I guess.
Speaker 3:Is okay. If trust is so easily broken, why is it so hard to gain? I say that because some people come into a relationship still having trust issues with the person that they just got into the relationship with. So why even do that?
Speaker 2:I mean they shouldn't. For the most part, they are holding the new person to the sins of the old person. Right, right, and that sucks.
Speaker 3:I always say that it's one of the hardest things to do in a relationship is clean up the mess that somebody else left.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Those are facts Right, so I shouldn't have to deal with the trust issues that so and so left you if I haven't given you a reason to not trust me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. But you know, one of the hardest things to do is, since we are like creatures of how can I explain it? We associate things with other things, like if something looked like what happened to me back, then that's gotta be what it is Right. And that's not always the case, okay.
Speaker 3:Is it possible to regain trust once trust is broken?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you can, but that's a very tough thing for the person that has to get over it Very difficult.
Speaker 3:Why do people, why do some people lose trust easily, like the smallest thing will make you not trust a person, no more.
Speaker 2:Just one little white lie. One little white lie that they find out to be a lie.
Speaker 3:And that's good enough to just ruin everything, yeah cause.
Speaker 2:Now it's like if you would lie about that. What else have you lied about? That was actually serious.
Speaker 3:But didn't you say something about lying I?
Speaker 2:did. Yeah, I did. I had to explain that too. On the page.
Speaker 3:But yes, I did, I did.
Speaker 2:And I still am. What lie? Maybe that's the wrong word. Yeah, but Nah, you said lying though I did, I really did Lying. I'm just saying, like some things that that are going to affect somebody's growth. You know what I mean. Like, for an example, your cheeseburger rat, if she didn't want to hurt your feelings and tell you to step your game up. She could have simply told you it was good, but this right here would have made it better.
Speaker 2:That's what I mean by that. I think it was probably good off rib. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:So I wasn't there. I wasn't there I do.
Speaker 2:Then it was good then, yeah, I wasn't there so, and the reason why I didn't taste good to her is because she wasn't tasting chocolate. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:It'd be your own people, bro Like we just should even tell your friends stuff.
Speaker 2:It's you know. I think you did a good thing. Whatever, how do?
Speaker 3:Next one you communicate well as a couple. Yeah, whatever that looks like Right, like what is what do good? What does a couple who communicate good looks like.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll say this, this is what I learned Never use words that are final, like okay, never say you. Always Using the word always mean they do nothing but what it is you're talking about. Okay, so those type of words, what else? Listening, like active listening, not just hearing somebody talk, really processing what's being said Listening, listening to understand.
Speaker 3:don't listen to reply back to what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Cause you know some people on communication. You know in conversation when they communicate man you could tell that the person is like ready to jump in there like yeah, but you know what I'm saying, and it's like, bro, I can't. Even you ain't listening to me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you know, I've been in relationships where we could be texting right. And they would get. They would say that they got a tone from me texting. Do you think that's good communication If you getting a tone from somebody texting?
Speaker 2:I think certain stuff shouldn't be text, true, I mean, cause, like you know, you can, if you hear a tone, then you might want to ask, you know, some questions. But yeah, I mean, I've gotten all caps from somebody before and I'm like nigga, why are you yelling at me?
Speaker 3:Now that's how you can get a tone from somebody. If it's an all caps, then yeah, you know they probably yeah. Or if they say certain words, I guess, like if you say whatever, then they could probably get a tone from you.
Speaker 2:Here go another tone on the Apple phone. You can text somebody and edit the text and then, but you see, edited under the text. But if you read the message and it's a quick reply, I wonder what you text before. Cause why did you have to correct?
Speaker 3:okay, oh, speaking of okay, Do you think it's good communication when y'all are texting an argument?
Speaker 2:one person sends you paragraphs and then you just write back okay, it depends On Some stuff you can't reply to because you already know where it's going after that Exactly. I'd rather just wait and yell it.
Speaker 3:We can yell at each other, I can, huh I don't want to do it right now, but, like in my case, if I say okay on the text, I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna do it. If I say okay on the text message, my response when I get home is not gonna be different.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So if you gonna take this, okay or you just not gonna be happy with it, it's like eating a cheeseburger wrap.
Speaker 1:Or Yep yeah.
Speaker 2:But some people gotta understand when you texting and communicating that way. You sending a four page letter is really hard to reply to. Let's focus on one thing at a time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because they expect you you could comment on something that they saying. And then they like, I already know the text that I'm gonna get back Out of all that stuff that I just sent you. That's all you gonna talk about, right? You sent a lot, though. Well, in the first text message, yes, this is what I'm going to talk about. Yes, so that's a lot, right? So, yeah, this, and people think, just cause they talk a lot, that they saying a lot.
Speaker 2:Whole lot of mush mouthing going on. Okay, you remember mush mouth, don't you? Nope, you ain't ever seen Fat Albert, nah, oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Nah, you gotta look that up. I do when I'm cooking a cheeseburger. Next one You're both committed to the relationship. What? Does that mean.
Speaker 2:You do got, like some people, one foot in, one foot out.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Hard to move forward when somebody ain't all in.
Speaker 3:How is somebody all the way in? What would they have to show you to show that they're all the way in?
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just certain things that you probably did when you were single. You can't do no more, right? Let me give you an example I don't want to use that one. Okay, someone that you also committed is also listening to the person you with, someone makes them feel special love. Whatever the case may be, or safe, or whatever you want to use, take into consideration what they're asking you.
Speaker 3:I think showing that you're committed to the relationship is not walking away. Even when y'all argue over stupid stuff, the argument lasts for a few days. Then, at the end of the few days, one of the persons come up to the other person and say yeah, I'm sorry, that was stupid, because that makes me feel like you just wanted to fight. You just can't walk around If you in a committed relationship you can't move like you single no more, or you don't want to open up all the way, you don't want to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2:It's like people used to go out and be. Remember that Wayne Comet came out there, all these females going outside and talking about they single for the night, Because my girl said that you single forever, at least from me.
Speaker 3:Okay, you're kind to each other. Do you think that once people start dating, that they stop just being nice? Sometimes Some people get comfortable, yeah, sometimes yeah, if everything is a smart remark or just like you're not nice anymore. You don't do kind gestures, just to do them. You don't expect nothing back.
Speaker 2:Another way of being nice is not always saying what's on your mind I'm showing you kindness. I'm glad you brought that up, because that's what I mean by saying I'm going to lie. Is that I'm showing kindness? What you did when you made her that rap was kind of you, but what she said about what you made her was not so kind.
Speaker 3:She was speaking to mine. It's not what she wanted.
Speaker 2:But she didn't have to. She could have spoke her mind and said I wish I would have some chocolate and flowers. You give me some of that. Or she didn't have to say step your game up on your food, Because I guarantee you in your mind it was like you would never get another rap in this mug again.
Speaker 3:Be young people. Be young people, I think. For some reason people think if I do something nice for you, you have to do something nice for me.
Speaker 3:You haven't done nothing for me in Ohio, so I'm not doing nothing for you. Just because you do a good deed doesn't mean that the other person owes you a good deed. If the person doesn't want to do nice things for you, then they would never do nice things for you, and if you have to wait for somebody to be kind to you first before you're kind to them, then what are you actually doing here? Because my thing is like I said kind people or nice people, they just do it and they don't expect a payback.
Speaker 2:Being kind to somebody should make you feel good, though you benefit from being kind as well.
Speaker 3:When I be at work I be just doing dumb stuff. If I hold a door for somebody, I would say to myself well, that's my good deed of the day. So that means I don't have to be nice for the rest of the day.
Speaker 2:I was about to bring that up. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm just going around slapping niggas with cheeseburger wraps all day. Lucky, I ain't never got nothing when I come to Nautia. All right, the next one. You enjoy each other's company.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean your company is enjoyable when you follow step one through what when we at now All right, I'm not even oh, okay, yeah, when everything we talked about before your company would be great if we did all of that at the above of that.
Speaker 3:Do you always have to have some type of activity?
Speaker 1:Nah, not at all.
Speaker 2:Big spoon, little spoon, watch TV.
Speaker 3:Okay, do you always have to talk?
Speaker 1:Uh-uh.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:I'm just glad you're here, do you?
Speaker 3:It's just sitting on the couch, sitting next to one another. Is that showing a person attention?
Speaker 2:It's just sitting on the couch showing them attention. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because some people are like you're not showing me any attention and we sitting right next to one another.
Speaker 2:I mean. For that to be the case, you gotta let me know what kind of attention you want, though, okay, I don't want to guess?
Speaker 3:Okay, so you don't have to do no type of special activity just to enjoy another person's cup? Nah, not at all. What if sitting down watching TV isn't enjoyable for you?
Speaker 2:Then you might have to express other options, but if one person is always doing something that you like to do, you can be kind and enjoy what they like to do sometime too, and act like you enjoy it.
Speaker 3:Can you enjoy each other's company if both of y'all are always on the phone?
Speaker 2:I say no. You know what I'm saying. I say no, but some women would think otherwise.
Speaker 3:Okay, so you have to be in the moment to enjoy the company.
Speaker 2:Because if we are supposed to be enjoying each other, you can't be on Snapchat, facebook and Instagram enjoying other people's lives while ours is currently going on right now. Okay, if me and my wife watching a movie, we choose to sit down and watch a movie and she pick her phone up, I pause it, I wait, that's what you're gonna do for real. Yeah, and it should be like oh, my bad, let me put this down. Okay, I'll cut it back off.
Speaker 3:That's real sarcastic yeah.
Speaker 2:Because we decided to watch a movie. If you didn't want to watch it, no problem, you can stay on your phone. I keep it moving, but if we doing something together, you got to put that down first and if you pick it up, it pause whatever we're doing.
Speaker 3:All right, next one, if you support each other's goals. Longest said goals don't affect the bottom line Right, because I was about to say it's a lot of women out there supporting the guy who's still working on the mix tape.
Speaker 2:Yeah. If it don't help the bottom line man it's yeah.
Speaker 3:What if they don't agree with your goals, though?
Speaker 2:I don't think they necessarily have to agree with your goals, but then y'all need to agree to disagree on some things. You know what I'm saying. As long as it don't affect the bottom line and that person is really trying to go after what they're trying to go after, let it be. If it's not going to affect the home, the household, your relationship and all that, let it go.
Speaker 3:Should you help them? Like what if they ask you to help them reach their goals, but you didn't agree with their goals?
Speaker 2:Again, if it don't affect your bottom line, the well-being of your household and your family, why not? If it makes them happy, it should make you happy.
Speaker 3:Would they be wrong if they didn't want to, though, because they don't agree with it?
Speaker 2:I would say I don't know if they would be wrong. I think that you would. You're going to have an issue with being supportive or them feeling like you support them, but then you are going one day turn around and want them to support something you're trying to do.
Speaker 3:Okay, you make decisions together.
Speaker 2:I can handle that.
Speaker 3:You have to make every decision together.
Speaker 2:I would say, for the most part, you should make most decisions together, especially major decisions, but you also have to be the type of couple that's willing to take the backseat to a decision, to what if you're not around and she has to make a decision?
Speaker 3:She got to make it, but the decision that she made you don't like because it does whatever.
Speaker 1:Then what.
Speaker 2:I mean, we just going to have to discuss it at that point. Things control, but if I was in present, that something had to be decided on that I couldn't be in on, then it wasn't nothing I can do about it. Now, the only thing I'm a part of now is how to fix it, or try to fix it at least.
Speaker 3:Do you think you should consult with your person on like on some type of big purchase?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you should consult each other on big purchase. Okay, for sure, because that's definitely gonna touch the bottom line of the whole household income.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:What if she wanted to go out but you didn't? But she already said that y'all would go out with so-and-so.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Might be a situation where that time you might have to go, but then next time you gotta say, hey look, you gonna have to consult with me before you make these decisions for real, because you volunteering on my services and what are you trying to do Like discuss something, but y'all don't agree on what should happen?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:That's where somebody gotta take a backseat.
Speaker 3:And what if nobody's willing to bend?
Speaker 2:Then she needs to take a backseat.
Speaker 3:Did you say, then she needs to? That's exactly what I said, okay.
Speaker 2:I know it's gonna be some comments, but that's exactly what I said, and I mean it Because, at the end of the day, did you marry him to be a leader? Did you marry him because he was a leader? It doesn't mean that he's not taking your opinion into consideration, but if you guys can't agree on something, something has to get agreed upon, something has to happen. Now he could say you know what, we'll go with what you decided, but at the end of the day, it was still his decision to do it.
Speaker 3:Some people don't want a leader, though they want a partner. That's what some would say.
Speaker 1:Okay, that's fine so then what?
Speaker 3:They just keep going back and forth forever.
Speaker 2:Nothing gets done At that point he needs to decide what he needs to do. That's what has to happen. I hope they all come for you.
Speaker 3:And if you don't want him to make those?
Speaker 2:type of decisions you might have should have thought about that before you decided to marry him in the first place.
Speaker 1:I hope they all come for you, Me and my wife right now we'll discuss something and we'll go back and forth on what we're gonna do.
Speaker 2:Sometimes what she's saying makes more sense and I'm the type of person that'll say you know what that sounds better, let's do that. But in some cases the world, we can't come to an agreement. I don't know what to do. We're gonna go to an agreement, I had to say okay, we're gonna go this way then.
Speaker 3:But was she like no, we don't know we not going that way. That's the direction we're going, so you gonna do it, even if she don't want that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I hope they all come for you. What works for me may not work for you. I hope they all come, but what I'm saying is, whether you go with his decision or her decision is still his decision to say which one.
Speaker 3:It is Okay, say it again, did we?
Speaker 2:not forget.
Speaker 3:Say it again, say it again.
Speaker 2:If it's his decision or her decision, it's still his decision.
Speaker 3:Okay, right, I got that right.
Speaker 2:Did we forget that the wedding vows said to honor and obey. Did we forget that? I'm just speaking with with Bible is speaking, bro. I'm just saying a good leader knows when the decision that he's making ain't a good one and if his wife has a better way a good leader will go that way.
Speaker 3:Okay, i'mma uh okay. Boundaries Okay, since you have boundaries in a healthy relationship.
Speaker 2:Should you?
Speaker 3:Yeah, can you, should you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean everybody should. Uh, the reason why a lot of relationships and marriages fail is because there are no upfront expectations in the beginning.
Speaker 3:Okay, you said something a few weeks ago about the whole going through phone thing.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:And you said that if you're married then you shouldn't have privacy. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. It's privacy when you're married. Okay, so let me answer you this.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:Say you and your brother or cousin had had a conversation through text message.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:It was real serious, like he told you some things that you know and you didn't want your wife to see that conversation.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 3:But you stopped her from going through your phone.
Speaker 2:Nah, she went through my phone, she went through it.
Speaker 3:But what if your brother or your cousin didn't want nobody seeing that?
Speaker 2:About something that's going on with them. Yeah, I don't know what to tell them. Don't text me no more About nine since then. At the end of the day, in what situation or what world that you and your wife being one? There's some things you're going to have to let your wife know. There's some things she's going to have to let you know. Okay.
Speaker 3:I know you answered this question before, but this is a new episode. Should the person you're with know everything that you're doing?
Speaker 2:I could say it like this Should the person you with why shouldn't the person you with not know everything you're doing? And that's the answer to that question.
Speaker 1:Whatever?
Speaker 3:I'm not even going to go back and forth with you on that.
Speaker 2:That's the answer, bro. At the end of the day, what is it that you guys yourself, what is it that you're hiding for real? It's not that you're hiding, it's just Okay. Give me an example of what you wouldn't want them to know.
Speaker 3:No, it's not that you don't want them to know something. You just not saying, yo, this is happening, that's happening. I did this today. Okay, well, I get that part.
Speaker 2:Nah, I mean, you're not a teleprompter. Every five seconds be trying to explain stuff. Nah, it ain't that. It's just that if, as you got to be open, you know what.
Speaker 3:I'm saying but say she's at work, and then she call you and say what's she doing and you say, oh, I'm at the mall. So you didn't tell me. Am I supposed to tell you I'm at the mall? I mean that's what it is. I'm not at the players club, I'm at the mall, Is it? Am I supposed to just say yo going to the mall?
Speaker 2:Nah, I mean, but if they ask you, to what you do.
Speaker 3:If they ask me to do what, tell them that I'm going to the mall. I'm going to laugh.
Speaker 2:That mean next time you go to the mall they might want to go. I mean, that's different. That's what she said. If you ever go to the mall again, please tell me. Then what do you do? Just not tell her next time.
Speaker 3:No, what I'm saying, but she's at work right now.
Speaker 2:She might want you to pick her something up. You know how I liked them. Was the cookie spot in there, or?
Speaker 3:I didn't come here for that I didn't come here for that, but if you go that?
Speaker 2:mean, you're there for her too. That's what she's saying.
Speaker 3:But that's not what I'm saying. But what do you do then? You just don't do it. I'm going to tell her A-Babe, go in the kitchen, take that hamburger meat out the freezer, okay, Let it thaw out. Get that ru-.
Speaker 2:My thing is this. Let me say this, though If she say that about the mall, could you ever say to her well, let me know when you're on your way home?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Then she bring up the fact well, you don't tell me when you go to the mall, so why I got to tell you when I'm leaving to go home.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you asking me, you don't need to tell me that, because I'm trusting you to do your job.
Speaker 2:Well, sometimes it ain't even about that, but what I'm saying-. Sometimes it's about okay, I just want to make sure you get through the door.
Speaker 3:Wait, am I home waiting on her?
Speaker 2:Who knows? I don't know what the situation could be.
Speaker 3:Because if something is happening, then I expect her to hit me up saying, yo, this is why, so-and-so. But if I'm at work and I call her and she say I'm at the mall, I'm not going to be able, why do you tell me you was going to the mall? Because sometimes people move off of impulse. They just want to go, that's true. No, I don't disagree with you. I don't need to know everything.
Speaker 2:But the whole point of a lot of what we just read, though, is the fact that it's the communication. Part of it, though, like y'all got to figure out what each other expects out of each other and know how to move forward from there.
Speaker 3:Okay Now, as she was saying, if I called her and I asked her what are you doing? And she said I'm about to go see the Chippendale dancers. I'm like hmm, when this happening, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying, but I mean stuff like the store, the mall. I'm going over at my friend's house. I don't need to know all that, Because I'm not going to stress about where you at and what you're doing. I'm already bald.
Speaker 2:I feel you, I am too, so I am too.
Speaker 3:This is go ahead and hit the MOTY man, because I'm going to go home and cry.
Speaker 2:Hit the MOTY. I'll go first this time.
Speaker 3:Good, because I ain't got nothing.
Speaker 2:Yes, sir, Good episode man.
Speaker 3:All right, all right.
Speaker 2:My MOTY is a hamburger and still a cheeseburger without cheese.
Speaker 3:My MOTY is this it be your own mother. People, bro, they have no respect for your feelings. You tell them how you feel, what happened to you, and they be like nigga see. This is why you trash.
Speaker 2:That's what you heard.
Speaker 3:This is why good men become savages. Turn the music off while I'm spitting these bars. This is why, ladies, you just think it was y'all that was killing the good men. But no, it's our friends.
Speaker 2:It is our friends.
Speaker 1:Oh man.
Speaker 3:Yes, it is our friends. You know, when a woman get her heart broken, she call her friends in five minutes, no matter where they live at. They could be in Dayton Ohio. One friend could be in the necklace In five minutes. She's over there building her up, geeking her head up. Where you see this at Geeking her head up. So when guys do it, you should step your game up then, because you gave cheeseburger bread.
Speaker 2:really, I never said that I was in.
Speaker 3:I woulda told you I was in the same thing.
Speaker 2:Bring this trash over here, hey man, you know what we living in reality dawg? Hey, if we keep it real with each other. Look, I didn't say what you made was trash, because I ain't tasting that's cool. I'm just telling you that your meal was called. It was a hamburger grand day.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying it was a grand day In the show. In the show, hey man, you did your thing, man hey women.
Speaker 2:If you don't like me in the cook man, something wrong with you. My name is Dyer and I'll be your boy. Now, Supremely full of my pocket, Sound defeated. Oh man, Friends, how many of us have them? Not me.
Speaker 3:That's cool.
Speaker 2:I like.
Speaker 3:I like wraps, and we ain't going no further. I like wraps, man. I like wraps you like, wraps you disgust me.