THE ONES WHO DARED
THE ONES WHO DARED PODCAST Elevating stories of courage. You can listen to some of the most interesting stories of courage, powerful life lessons, and aha moments. Featuring interviews with leaders, pioneers and people who have done hard things. I hope these stories help pave the path for you to live out your courageous life.
THE ONES WHO DARED
Overcoming a Life-Altering Spinal Cord Injury: Natalie Bukoz' Journey of Resilience, Confidence and Positive Mindset.
What if a life-changing accident could become the catalyst for an incredible journey of resilience and empowerment? Join us as we sit down with Natalie Buchoz, whose story is a powerful testament to overcoming adversity and finding meaning after a devastating spinal cord injury. At just 15 years old, Natalie’s life took a dramatic turn following a skiing accident that left her a quadriplegic.
Natalie illustrates how self-understanding and inward reflection have been pivotal in rebuilding her mindset and confidence.
In a world where traditional Western medicine has its limitations, Natalie’s journey emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and mental discipline. She shares how personalized care and a supportive community have been crucial in her path to recovery. Natalie’s insights into the power of positive thinking, self-encouragement, and treating oneself with kindness provide invaluable lessons for anyone facing challenges. Her experiences highlight the necessity of listening to one’s own needs and confidently rejecting what doesn't work, showcasing the strength of mental resilience and self-care.
As the executive producer and head of brand for Dr. Daniel Amen, Natalie extends her mission to help others struggling with mental health.
Natalie shares her "30 Days of Natitude" initiative and the impactful show "Scan My Brain," which features celebrities and thought leaders sharing their personal struggles. Natalie’s story is about embracing differences, persevering through hardships, and the ongoing journey toward personal growth and mental well-being. Tune in to be inspired by her courage and to learn how embracing one’s uniqueness can lead to profound transformation.
Here are some topics we cover in this interview:
1. Natalie's journey of overcoming a catastrophic spinal cord injury at the age of 15 and her determination to not give up on herself despite the grim prognosis.
2. The importance of being your own advocate, especially when it comes to your health and recovery, and not blindly accepting the advice of others.
3. The power of mindset and self-talk in building confidence, resilience, and the ability to overcome adversity.
4. Celebrating small wins and being a good coach to yourself, rather than being overly critical.
5. The value of having a supportive community and not being afraid to be vulnerable and share your story to help others.
6. Natalie's work as an executive producer on the "Scan My Brain" show, which aims to provide education and information on mental health and wellness.
7. The importance of acknowledging and being comfortable with being different, as well as the importance of persistence and not giving up on your goals, no matter how slowly you may be progressing.
8. Natalie's strong faith and the role it has played in her journey, including the importance of surrendering control and trusting in God.
9. The concept of "Natitude" - a combination of a positive attitude and the resilience to overcome challenges.
10. The message that it's never too late to try something new or pursue your passions, and that your life can change with just one decision.
Link to Natalie Buchoz
www.instagram.com/nataliebuchoz
https://www.amenclinics.com
-Links-
https://www.svetkapopov.com/
https://www.instagram.com/svetka_popov/
The bravest thing that I've ever done is not given up on myself when everybody else told me that I should, and that stemmed from the beginning of my injury and to the person that I am today. And just because you, wherever you're at, and losing somebody and losing a part of yourself and having a catastrophic X, y, z happen to you heart of yourself and having, you know, a catastrophic XYZ happen to you, we attach so much to words, projections, things that people say and you know in. In my earlier injury I actually had someone who I thought was a friend at the time tell me that she would rather be dead than be in my position, to my face, and I had a very different response back then than I would have today. But today I would say that you know, it's a, it's a privilege to exist. It's not a right, it's a privilege to exist.
Speaker 1:And just because, um, my reality is different than it was when I was 15, um doesn't mean it's any less meaningful and you don't have to. Being being understood is so overrated. It's not your job, as my new friend, to understand me and vice versa, but it's my job to understand me. And if we can go bravely in the direction inward. You're going to see it transform every area of your life.
Speaker 2:Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast, where stories of courage are elevated. I'm your host, becca, and every other week you'll hear interviews from inspiring people. My hope is that you will leave encouraged. I'm so glad you're here, natalie Bukos. Welcome to the Once a Year podcast. It is an honor to have you here in the studio today. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited, I'm really excited to dig into the topic with you about building confidence, mindset and overcoming adversity, and you yourself have quite the story to share and I really wanted to kind of, before we get into that subject, I want you to kind of go back and tell us who was Natalie before you had your accident that really changed your life. What did your life look like? What were you into? What was Natalie's life about?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, great question. So, growing up, I grew up in Southern California and I was a very stereotypical athlete, beach girl and I grew up in the ocean. I did pretty much every sport known to mankind. I was a junior lifeguard, I was an elite softball player as well as volleyball. I also really enjoyed gymnastics, dance, you named it. Swimming, you named it. I was all about it.
Speaker 1:And at 15 years old I always joke that I had a really quintessential childhood of wonderful, hardworking parents. I have a younger sister and I, you know, I'd never broken a bone before. I really hadn't lost anyone very close to me and it was a really happy, motivated, energetic young girl really happy, motivated, energetic young girl. And when I was 15 years old, I had a catastrophic injury where I went skiing at a local mountain where I live and I sustained a spinal cord injury and a. There's different types of spinal cord injuries and I always like to preface, because I think a lot of people feel that being paralyzed has one look. I wish it was that easy. It's not. I, unfortunately, was blessed with becoming a quadriplegic, which is breaking my cervical spine in my C5, c6 vertebrae and that affected all four limbs, so my arms, my hands and then my legs. And the way that differs from some other people that have back injuries or lower sacral injuries are those are technically paraplegics or tetraplegics if you go a little bit lower, and traditionally they're only impacted from their injury site down, which usually is like high waist, lower back et cetera. And why that's really important as well is that there's just multiple levels of independence, that they're able to get back quicker because they have access to their hands, whereas for me my hands don't open and close and people are very interested by that when they meet me, because when I was first injured, when I had fallen and when I was skiing, it was very I was just going kind of quick and I was getting down the mountain. It was rather icy and I hit a lip of snow. I landed on my tailbone and because I was going so fast, I sustained a whiplash injury which fractured my C5, c6 vertebrae and I have a pretty big scar here which we'll talk about my surgery in a little bit.
Speaker 1:But at that time, when I had fallen, I was actually face down in the snow and you know, earlier you heard me talk about how I'd never broken a bone in childhood. So when I was face down in the snow. I was like I don't understand why I can't move. I couldn't roll over, I had no feeling and, mind you, like my face was in like ice snow. So I was almost kind of like suffocating on the snow because I couldn't move and I couldn't understand why I couldn't. Luckily I had fallen pretty close down to the bottom of the mountain, so the paramedics were there and they had gotten me from where I was at and into a structure and then into an ambulance.
Speaker 1:And during that time they have to decipher whether they bring you to a trauma hospital, which is pretty much the worst of the worst.
Speaker 1:So think spinal cord injuries, traumatic brain injuries, stroke, really anything under the sun of that caliber and a general hospital which is more like fractures, breaks, things of that nature. And I had a really young paramedic and at that time I was with a friend's family and not with my family, so I had to go into the ambulance by myself because I didn't have a relative there with me. Wow, and at that time I had a really young paramedic and it's one of those moments that I think always, you know, when you have something traumatic happen to you, you have a couple memories that are, like, highly associated to it, or you forget specific memories because your brain does that when it's trying to, you know, keep you safe from trauma. And um, I had this young paramedic who I could see, um, he was touching my big toe on my left side, uh, on my foot, and I remember him looking at me and asking me like, can you feel bad? And I said no, and it was the most outer body experience because I could see him with my eyes.
Speaker 2:Like touching the toe.
Speaker 1:Right and I could not feel it. It was one of the most like surreal experiences. And then he went to the other toe and he did the same thing and he said you really can't feel that. And I said nope, and after that everything sort of became quite the blur. I didn't, um, I didn't lose consciousness, which is one of the big questions I feel like a lot of people ask me. They're like did you, you know, did you get knocked out? Do you not remember it? I pretty much remember a large majority of it, Um, really, until I got into the ambulance. Then things got very fuzzy. So, to make the story short, I was at the top of the mountain, I had to go down the ambulance to the bottom and then I was airlifted to a hospital to have emergency surgery on my spine, in my neck, and that surgery was six and a half hours and during that time there really wasn't a positive outlook.
Speaker 1:For those who are unfamiliar with spinal cord injuries, I'm sure you are familiar, in the sense that there's no cure for paraplegia. There's not a very great outcome when you have a spinal cord injury, because there's two types of injuries. We talked about the difference between being a paraplegic and a quadriplegic. Well, there's also two types of breaks when it comes to having a spinal cord injury. There is a complete break, which means that your spine is merely bruised or like a hairline fracture, versus a complete break, which means your spine is completely severed. I was fortunate to have an incomplete break, and my C5 vertebrae was the one that was the most damaged, and so I had to have a fusion surgery to use it back together, and I have some really cool hardware in my neck that keeps my spine together, and it's actually my surgeon made a joke later on.
Speaker 1:He said you know, it's actually a lot more stable now than it ever was before. And I said aren't I lucky, Aren't I lucky? He was a really great man, but anyway, so that that's kind of you know who I was before I got hurt and kind of you know snowballing into what I call my journey through spinal cord injury land. And, as I mentioned, at that time, the prognosis for my injury was quite grim. Keep in mind, I was 15 years old and I had some of the most incredible besides the surgeon who I just praised I had some really incredible doctors that didn't have very nice things to say about my possibility of recovery and really what my new life would look like. So yeah, that's kind of it in a nutshell.
Speaker 2:Wow. So that was your inciting incident. That's the word. There we go. Inciting incident yeah, where it's like, this is what you come to this point and from this point forward, your life is not going to look the same. So there's, you know, a lot, a lot of things change, so you can go this direction or that direction. So how did you work on becoming who we see you today, showing up in social media, encouraging people? What was that process like for you?
Speaker 2:So here you are in the hospital. You know the prognosis is grim and like you're saying doctors are saying all these things and you know they said you won't stand again. I've seen you, you share that, that you're never going to be able to walk, you're never going to be able to see and you're not going to do this, you're not going to do that. So it's like negative, negative, negative. And as a 15 year old, I can't even imagine you having to process this shocking change that was within an instant, like everything's different. Within an instant. It's not like, okay, we're gradually going to work up to this thing. It's like boom, instantly, your life is different and you don't have an option of like saying, okay, I don't like this, can we go back, can we rewind, have an option of like saying, okay, I don't like this. Can?
Speaker 1:we go back, can we rewind? But I, I mean, I had very many late nights where I did have moments where I was like I don't understand why this had to happen to me, I don't understand why I have to go through this. Um, and I think my first life lesson that I had to learn at a really young age is that I had to surround myself with people that that brought me up when I couldn't, and at first that was my family. Obviously, like I said, I have incredible parents, I have an incredible sister, but I also had a community of people in my corner through sports, through the community, through other things that I was a part of, and my high school and you know, they were all rooting for me and that meant so much at the time, even though I couldn't really even comprehend the weight of that support because I had so much going on, you know, with myself. That was really important, knowing that there was people out there that believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. And I also think the second piece of that really became learning how to become an advocate for myself, because I was 15 years old, my mother and my dad were, you know, very, and my aunt, who's a doctor.
Speaker 1:They were very, you know, involved in regards to care medications. I was put on and, like I shared and we'll talk about this a little bit down the road but traditional Western medicine is ancient in regards to care, so you and I could both have a cervical spinal cord injury and even though this is your, maybe you have a specific condition that you're dealing with. Maybe your weight, height, whatever is different. We are going to get the same treatment. We're going to get the same medication. We're going to be put on SSRIs because we're going to be depressed. We're going to be put on anti-anxiety medication because we're going to be anxious. We're going to be put on sleeping medication because we're not going to be able to sleep, and the cocktail goes on. And I think, for me, I had to learn, through parents that modeled it for me, that the only person that was going to advocate for myself was going to be me. And even though people, you know, even though I had incredible doctors, like I had said, that you know, were very matter of fact about my situation.
Speaker 1:They also gave me the same cocktail that most other spinal cord injuries get, especially cervical injuries, and if things don't work for you, you have to be able to say this doesn't work for me.
Speaker 1:This medication makes me feel like this I'm not taking this. Just because it worked for other people Doesn't mean it works for me. And that completely, um, I've I've always been a very confident, outspoken young woman, but that completely transformed the rest of my life, because it started in my recovery but then it spiraled into friendships, really, you know, intimate relationships, college career mentoring, consulting and beyond. And, um, I just think, if you can take anything from our time together today, it's like you're, you are the only person that is aware of what you're capable of, and also you're the only person that is in your body. Um, it's great to have you know, it's great to have incredible advice, but, at the same time, if something doesn't feel right and it's not working for you, then you have to be able to confidently say thank you for your advice. This isn't working for me and we got to keep moving forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because it's not a one size fits all. We all have different needs and, yeah, I think I love that. You said that you are your greatest advocate. There is no one else that you know and there's no one essentially coming to save you. Right, it's like we're in charge of us and all the things that happen to us. Like, also, our thoughts are so powerful, like I heard this quote once that if we knew the power of thought, of our thoughts, we would never think another negative thought. Yeah, and that is huge, because, like over I don't know majority of our thoughts through the day are negative. I think we think over 50,000 thoughts and if we allow other people's perceptions, other people's voices, the advice, the things that they're saying affect us in a negative way or take us in a direction that we can intuitively feel like, hey, you know what? This isn't for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so true, and I also think I would even add to that that we'll talk a little bit about my work with with Dr Amen. I imagine a bit and a little, but I've learned so much in working with a psychiatrist because he just has so many things that are so applicable. But when it comes to thoughts and mind management and mental discipline one of the things that he always talks about, which I'm like this is so true, but the thoughts that we think about ourselves, like I'm not enough, um, I'm never going to be, I'm never going to do this, he's never going to like me, I'm never going to get there, um, think about the way that you speak to yourself. Would you talk that same way to a loved one, to your best friend? And if your answer is no, then it's like well, why do you think it's going to help you grow Right? And it kind of goes into.
Speaker 1:I think the whole topic of self-love is a little fluffy for my liking currently, because self-love isn't about, you know, a bubble baths and face masks and champagne with your girlfriends and not to say there's anything wrong with those things, because everyone needs a face mask now and then but at the same time, I would argue that self-love is a lot more deeper than that. Self-love is about discipline, it's about keeping promises to yourself, it's about showing up for yourself, it's about knowing yourself and it's also about being a great coach to yourself. Right, it's like anytime you have a coach that you know has an athlete and I had a lot of male coaches growing up that weren't nice, um, but you know, I think you know. If you want an athlete to perform or, like a thoroughbred horse, to run and race and win, you're not going to feed it bad food, you're not going to talk down to it, you're not going to shame it into winning. And the same goes for yourself. It's like you can't shame yourself into becoming a better version of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely so for you. What was the process like? Like, like what? I'm just curious, like, how did you get yourself to work on your mindset, like, what was that like for you? I mean, you mentioned earlier that you had people in your life that would encourage you and remind you who you are, um, you know of your identity and all those things which I think it is super crucial to have a supporting, positive community who speak life, who you, who you're encouraged by, rather than people who are doubting you, who are in your case. It's like, well, you're not going to do this, we're going to give you a prognosis and we're worried about you and those things, those people aren't really helpful to you trying to see yourself in the best way possible and your full potential.
Speaker 1:Yeah, great question. You know, for me my identity has never been in what I do. It was never in I'm an athlete, that's my identity. Or I'm good at this, and this is my identity, or, you know, I work. This vision is for me and my life. And when I got injured, it didn't change. My identity didn't become I'm Natalie who had this horrible injury, or I'm Natalie I'm a quadriplegic and I'm never going to get better. It still became I'm Natalie and I know I'm on this earth for a reason.
Speaker 1:But those mindset shifts. We talked a little bit about connection and advocacy, but it also became a lot more than that when it came to like my internal dialogue to myself. Of course I had to surround myself with people that brought me up, but that's not everybody's case all the time. There's a lot of people that are injured when they're older or have hard things happen and they don't have support system, and to that I would just encourage you to get to know yourself a little bit deeper. And for me that became the development of what we would call my natitude. And so natitude is a mixture of having a positive attitude and outlook and overcoming adversity and whatever the day looked like and some days it was as little as I can't hold my toothbrush to brush my own teeth and I would build my somebody in my life would build something on my toothbrush so I can hold my toothbrush, and then it was like, okay, one hurdle, one small win, and checking that off and acknowledging the power of small wins and how that contributes to my attitude and my resilience, and all of those small things they start to add up over time.
Speaker 1:But the only way I was able to get through any of those things was to continue to be consistent, even when things were really hard and even when I woke up with days where I had debilitating pain, when I had debilitating interactions with people, when I had debilitating doctor's visits, and continuing to go through instead of, you know, hit the brakes and kind of coast over the speed bump which you know I think is really normal in life.
Speaker 1:I think we all not everyone's going to have a spinal cord injury and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But we're all going to have things in life, whether we lose somebody, whether we don't get the job, whatever it looks like, we struggle with a mental health issue that is going to leave us at that speed bump or that plateau, and the only way that I was able to get through any of the hard things is that I had to acknowledge my attitude every single day. I had to define what wins looked like for me and, like I said, they were small and then I had to be able to celebrate them in a meaningful way that made me feel good about myself, and all of those things together. You know my attitude, my resilience, the small wins, the celebration that started, leading to competence, which led to confidence for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love that. And what do you say? What are some things that you say to yourself? Or how do you coach yourself when you're stuck? Like you wake up and you say, what are some things that you say to yourself? Or how do you coach yourself when you're stuck? Like you wake up and you know you're feeling the pain, or you just feel like okay, it's just not my day Right. Like what do you personally remind yourself, like what is? I'm just curious, what is Natalie's self-talk look like?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh gosh. Well, I mean, I feel like it varies, but when it comes to physical pain, sometimes, um, I think the best way that I always like to reframe and I and I I think a lot of people talk about this today but, like, like your inner child I always relate my inner child to Natalie who she was before she got injured, and then the Natalie that was ripe right after injury and in my opinion, those are like two different women in a lot of ways. Um, but they're both two really strong, motivated women. And sometimes I feel like so much of our inner talk is so far in the future, with fear, with anxiety, with I'm not doing enough, I'm not where I'm supposed to be at this time in my life, and I always just talk to myself and I'm like 15-year-old version of you would be so proud of you.
Speaker 1:And it's more reassurance because I think there's, in my own journey, there's been, I think, a big discrepancy of motivation which I think a lot of people consider. Like you just wake up and you lift your weights and you do your cold plunge and you're so self-motivated, right, and then versus how many things are you getting to? And through the day that you're reassuring yourself, that you're like that was so great, wow, good job, like that was really hard for you at one point. But I think we're so focused, like I said, on kind of moving forward quickly to get to our goals, to do what we want, and those are all great things. But for me, a lot of my, a lot of my inner self-talk is just a lot of reassurance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. And so what I'm also hearing is like having different expectations too, where it's like I'm going to celebrate the small wins. I'm not going to frustrate myself and create these unachievable goals and then be mad that, like you know that you didn't get to them in this time or whatnot. And I love that because if we remind ourselves of our past wins, that is what builds the. I am able to do this because look what I've done before and if I ever came this, I can overcome this hurdle and just kind of building up on that. And, and you know they say you either spiral up or down, and a lot of times when we continue to come across losses, it's like you just feel defeated. But if you're like, okay, I'm going to count this small win and focus on that, then you kind of go in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's not to say that I don't have days where I wake up and I'm like, well, yeah, you know, I I didn't win that day, but I learned you know I and I think a large majority of having that conversation with yourself around reassurance also, again, when we talked a little bit about building confidence and building competence by going through hard things but a big, a big area of my life that I feel very proud of myself, of getting through is just my, my constant ability to just try like no, no matter, no matter what the outcome is, no matter how hard it's going to be, um, no matter how, like, how unknown it is, like I, just I, I'm very proud of myself, which and I also think as women, we when you hear somebody say, oh, I'm proud of myself or I think I'm great at this, it comes across of well, she's a little full of herself or you know, that's a little this or that, and I just would.
Speaker 1:I couldn't disagree more, because you can't expect other people and I posted this in a video on my Instagram but you can't expect people to understand the vision that you have for your life and where you want to go. Yeah, and for me, there's a lot of that journey was really spearheaded by just continuing to move forward and being an advocate and like cheering for myself, even when I had a lot of people be like I don't know, that could be a little hard, or I haven't seen somebody do it this way, or maybe you should try this. And there's just there's so many people that are going to tell you that you're not the right fit for something or you're not going to be able to do it because it hasn't been done yet. But that just couldn't be further from the truth, and I know that from so much personal experience through my injury.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So if you're listening right now, I want you to think of something that you're proud of and tell yourself that you're proud of yourself. I think it's important to say, hey, I'm proud of myself for doing this and, honestly, I do that too. I do because it's like you know, I'm going to be my advocate and I'm going to show up for myself every day. Do because it's like you know, I'm going to be my advocate and I'm going to show up for myself every day, and and I think that when we do that, it's like you're encouraging yourself to continue on and doing the good things and continue to move forward and put it in an area where you could see it every day.
Speaker 1:Put a little sticky note on your mirror, put it in lipstick on your mirror. You are enough. I'm proud that you try whatever it looks like and you know and just reaffirm it to yourself by seeing it. My notes in my phone. I hope nobody ever steals my phone because the way that I write about my goals, my vision, my thoughts, it's my.
Speaker 1:I probably shouldn't be putting this on a podcast, but it's like my diary in a sense, where it's like it's a space where I can get it out and it's also a space where I look at all the time, right and um. So many people that I've spoken with they're like well, I just how do you know what you want to do or how, where did the goal set or how to do it or whatever. And I'm like um, and I think the. I think the quote of just do what you're passionate about is I would like to revise that just a little bit. Maybe it's go where you're passionate, but tweak it to.
Speaker 1:This is where I feel the most good. This is where I can provide this amount of value and this is how I see me being able to change X, y, z right. So make it practical for yourself, but make no mistake, put it in a place where you see it all the time, so it's not just a. In the beginning of the year, I'm going to put down three new year's resolutions and hope that I'm going to do them, but I don't have any like tactical things that I'm doing to build up to it so powerful.
Speaker 2:But yeah, my notes app like I hope no one goes in there, so let's get out of there. I'm like same Right Seriously. But I think it is important for us to see the person that we are becoming. It's not even so much getting to the destination, but it's the process of who we become right. And whenever we come across suffering or pain and trials and we all have them in different spheres of become right. And whenever we come across suffering or pain and trials and we all have them in different spheres of life right, different ways.
Speaker 2:And if we lean into becoming a better version of ourself, becoming the greatest version of ourself, and and digging deep into allowing that process to refine us and transform us into becoming that person, there's so much beauty and power in that because you know you can either grow better from a situation or get bitter right, and I mean I don't know.
Speaker 2:I know that you've mentioned this before is like this journey for you has been a journey of you coming really leaning into and learning about who you are, and that can be really hard because it can be lonely to like go through a season where you don't feel understood by the world, where life is just looks really different from you than the people around you and you can't relate, and so the only thing you can do is just say, ok, I'm going to go on this journey of discovering who I really am and what lights my fire. What is it that? What is the value that I bring and who am I really? And so I loved, like just even watching your posts in social media and how you're processing that and I know this is and I feel like, natalie, you're just beginning to light up and encourage people, like I mean, I just think you're on. I know you've been on this journey, but I just think the best is yet to come.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you for saying that, and I also think you know for my own, I think, advocacy like outward advocacy, not for myself but like for other people, and wanting to share my story, um, to help people, you know, to get through their suffering, to get through hard things like we've talked about, it wasn't until November of last year where and I guess probably to back it up a little bit so in my um, in my job and what I do, so I'm an executive producer. So in my job and what I do, so I'm an executive producer. I'm also the head of brand for a pretty well-known celebrity psychiatrist. His name is Dr Daniel Amen and he's incredible and through our time together we have built some really incredible things, from books to shows to really great content that has helped people around the world that are struggling with mental health issues by giving them practical information and strategies to feel better, right. And you know, through that um, he's always encouraged me to share more of my life because obviously he's had a very close front seat through the past eight years of who I am and what drives me and what I'm passionate about and how I'm really on a deep mission to help people and that's always been at the heart of the career that I chose and the decisions that I make daily, and he always told me he's like you, gotta, whenever you're ready, you should really be, you should be sharing what you know, what you've gone through, but you also should be sharing all of it as much as you're comfortable with, because you never know where your suffering, your healing and your experiences are going to change somebody's life, and I've never forgotten that. That was something that he said to me.
Speaker 1:I think like eight months of working with him, he had said that to me and I, you know, in eight, in seven, seven and a half years, it took me to, I mean, and I never forgot it, but it took me quite some time and I put myself in a box for a little bit of time where I was like, oh I'm, I'm comfortable behind the camera, like I'm comfortable shooting, I'm comfortable helping other people build their brands, and that's just where I'm comfortable and it's funny because that's that couldn't be like more opposite of me. But I think for a really long time I I wanted to be like everybody else. I wanted to just roll into a room and be like my friends and, you know, not have people stare at me because I'm in a wheelchair and I'm different, I get around differently than everybody else, and I really attached to that thought of things would be so much easier if I was like everybody else and I'm sure it's not going to take a spinal cord injury or anybody listening to this to realize that they probably have felt the same way if they weren't accepted or you know, or you know whatever it looks like. And I, and for me, the biggest mindset switch came from. I just thought about, you know, we talked about the 15 year old Natalie and who was freshly injured, and the biggest switch really came from me being like, if I was injured when I was 15 to where I'm at now, I would have loved for that version of Natalie, to be able to see the 30-year-old version of Natalie that has gotten through hard things, that has a great job, that has purpose, that knows who she is and that has so much happiness and value in her life, despite not having access to certain limbs and getting around differently. I would have loved to open Instagram and have that 15 year old version and maybe able to see where I'm at now.
Speaker 1:And that was like the shift. It wasn't. Anybody can tell you that you're great that you have such a great story and you could share this and you could change this, but it takes you going great that you have such a great story and you could share this and you could change this, but it takes you going like, no, I, I think that I do. I think it's amazing that I have people in my life that think that I could do this, but it's not going to change until I think it. And so for me, um uh, that was in November of last year, and at the time I had kind of used social media as a way to just, you know, update people in my life in sporadics, and I was busy building my career and doing other things.
Speaker 1:And then in December, december is the month where I got injured, and it's always a really hard. I feel like I distract myself to do all these things, but I still feel this heaviness every single December. And for many people, december is a beautiful month it's Christmas, it's whatever holiday you celebrate and it's bringing family together. But there's a lot of people, too, that have lost people, that holidays aren't the same for me having a horrible injury, like whatever it looks like and so I decided that month that I was going to post a video every single day and I was going to call it 30 days of natitude or 29 days of natitude, and I was going to post a video every single day of one thing that brought me joy, until my date uh, my accident date, which was the 29th, and in the finale, I was going to take people to where I got injured and talk about what that injury did to me and who I was before that and how it changed me, and I was going to reclaim what that month meant to me, received from people, people that I knew, people that I didn't know, people in my work, whatever. It was so overwhelming in the best way possible, but it really emphasized why I hate, you know, when people say you should be doing this and then you do it, and then they were right. I'm like, okay, well, I know that you said it, but, but you know, it really just emphasized the fact that, no matter what you've gone through, whatever makes you different, my chair, for me, my injury, which makes me different Sometimes you're different is what is going to bring healing to people, no matter what they, what they're going through, right, and that couldn't have been more, you know, closer to the truth than I ever expected.
Speaker 1:I had this woman share with me a couple weeks ago that she had been struggling with anxiety and depression and so crippling that she couldn't get out of bed. And she saw one of my posts that I was talking about how much I missed running and how I was learning how to redefine going to the beach, because when I used to go to the beach I used to run on the soft sand and it brought me, it made me feel good about myself because I was moving my body, but then also it gave me a sense of independence. I had my music on, like it just made me feel so good. It was my happy time. And she saw that video and she said I'd been struggling with this for so long, but seeing your video it I I'd been struggling with this for so long, but seeing your video, it got me putting my running shoes on and then I started walking and then I signed up for a 5k and I just ran a half marathon and every single time I, you know, I think of I can't do this or I don't do this, like I have a representation and a person that reminds me that I can.
Speaker 1:And I think sometimes in life, like I talk to so many people that are like, well, I just don't want to talk about myself on social media, or what will I say, or what will people think. And I would just argue with if you don't say anything, what will they think? Right, if you have something, everybody has a story to share and everybody's gone through something really hard that can impact somebody and, who knows, it might impact somebody in a way that helps them, that helps comfort them in listening to you, or help it helps them run a half marathon when they were struggling with anxiety and depression. It's like you just have no idea what your story is going to do until you share it. And, um, that was just the greatest lesson for me, uh, in this last year of going back to you know your initial question of what makes you feel brave and courageous, and, um, then not giving up on myself but then also being not scared to share all aspects of my life, no matter how hard they are, how vulnerable they are, in order to help someone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that is brave. To be vulnerable and to share our stories with people, I mean that's like one of the most vulnerable things to do, because it's like opening up to the world and the world can decide how they receive that and it's you know, people are going to have different take on it, but at the end of the day, you encourage that woman who was dealing with depression and anxiety and that's who you're doing it for is showing up and hoping that this is going to encourage somebody. And if it just encourages one person, then it's good enough. You know it's good enough. It's a win for sure. Yes, I love that. And well, let's talk about the show that you produce with Dr Eamon. And you are at this point, you actually are an executive producer. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:Thank you. It's been such a fun, exciting journey so I produce a show. It's called Scan my Brain. It's been such a fun, exciting journey so I produce a show. It's called Scan my Brain and with Scan my Brain, it has been an avenue for us to be able to take people that are celebrities, thought leaders, professional athletes, whatever and they get to go through our experience. They get to have their brain scanned and we talk about it on camera.
Speaker 1:And what's been really fascinating and interesting to me is we've had people like, you know, grammy winning winning country singer, leigh-anne Rimes, to other types of producers NBA players, olympians and there's just been such a overwhelming response in people authentically sharing their life and their journey. But there's also been such a very similar response in a lot of ways from so many people that come on that are experiencing a lack of joy, that are experiencing body issues, that are experiencing online hate and bullying for doing what they do. But there's also been an overwhelming feeling of people that come on our show that feel like they're not enough and these are some of the most talented individuals in the world at the highest tier of their, you know, of their athletic career or singers, or actresses or whatever, and it's it's. You don't have to be somebody in in Hollywood or in entertainment to feel those thoughts either, and our hope in starting the show and featuring these stories is to be able to provide education and information to people that can help them, whether those are exercises, relevant research, you know, and authentic conversations with a psychiatrist and a patient that can help people, and the show has.
Speaker 1:We've done over 150 episodes and we're kind of in the process right now of reimagining it to where we can provide more information that people are looking for, as it relates to timely, relevant information and vision, and meld it with mine and kind of bring it to life in so many different ways to see that it's impacted people has just it's just been the privilege of a lifetime and my career had started in the nonprofit world and I thought that I was going to be there forever because I just loved it so much, and for myself as well.
Speaker 1:It's like I personally haven't struggled with a mental health issue like an actual diagnosis or condition, but I've loved a lot of people that have, and so being able to serve those people but then also take it a step further to, you know, serving so many people that can't afford to come into the clinic and get assessed and don't have enough money for therapy because we live in America and it's really expensive. And you know, giving them information and video content and research that can help them feel better is just such a privilege, and we have some really exciting stuff coming up that I can't talk about yet, but it'll be really fun, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm a huge fan of Dr Amen. I've been following him for years now and read his books and stuff and you know things about ADHD and all that. I just love how he breaks things down so practically and I feel like there's not a whole lot of people like him out there who really speak their truth in a way that, um, you know, is common language but is also just like you can see his heart for people for you know, advocating for people's health, for their well-being, and like he really wants them to succeed and that's so yeah, he walks the walk in so many ways too, which?
Speaker 1:is great, like anything that you're seeing online where he talks about not consuming alcohol and, you know, being mindful of his diet and getting his exercise. I mean, he's the type of man that you know he's not having ice cream, he's not drinking champagne, he's walking on our zoom meetings when we have them and you know he really, as an organization, you know, models it and you know, works at the our executives, on our team to be able to like, when we were having lunches, that they're they're healthy and they're, you know, good for our brains and body, and it's, it's awesome to be able to, you know, work alongside somebody that not only cares so deeply about, obviously, his own personal health, but also like the people that he works so closely with and beyond into our follower land, cause that's um, you know that's. That's been so fun. We have such a community that is so passionate about mental health and I think for a lot of people, especially since the pandemic mental health has been, um, somewhat like sexy.
Speaker 1:A lot of people, especially since the pandemic mental health, has been somewhat like sexy, A lot of people are very are from celebrities to, you know, to everybody. I think a lot of people are more open to the fact that everybody is dealing with something. They're more open to be talking about it. And it's cool that you know we also are working in an organization that you know wants to do that as well. It's like we want to work with people and nonprofits and other organizations that are doing the same thing so we can all come together and help as many people as we can. And you know, who knows, maybe we'll get to it's on my vision board but maybe we'll get to go all the way to the White House and make some substantial change that is so desperately needed in mental health care in America. That would be awesome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hope it's accessible in there, cause I'll have a lot to say if it's not, you know.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness, I love that. What would you tell somebody about um kind of how to access their own um mindset, or their superpower through their mindset?
Speaker 1:Two ways. First one, being acknowledge and be okay with being different, because being normal is so overrated and we aren't meant to be normal. Normal is like not even a setting, it's only a setting on a washer machine. So be okay with being different. And then the second one it doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you just don't stop. So if you have a goal, if you have something that you want to do, don't be discouraged. If you can't do it in a year, if you don't finish college in four years, if you don't buy the house at 30, if you don't get married at the same time, everyone else is. If you want something, just keep moving forward.
Speaker 1:And I always joke that for me, my journey has been quite slow, physically and just emotionally in so many ways. But I always say I'm like you know, for me I'm physically moving slowly, like when I'm pushing my chair, if I'm not in my power chair, like I am actually going slowly, which is so funny because that's like one of my favorite quotes it doesn't matter how slow you go, as long as you don't stop. And um, but think about that, you know, and what that looks like in your life and your goals. And if you're okay with being different and going against the grain and also acknowledging that great things take so much time, like so much time um, they do.
Speaker 2:I mean it's everything is a process, right like the, the, the people like. If you talk to people and their success stories, which you know, you have talked to quite a few and as I have I as well, interviewing people and for people who have achieved great things, it wasn't linear process. It was a lot of ups and downs, a lot of disappointments, a lot of failure, but that is how you come and transform into the person you are and it's also you learn the lessons along your failures and disappointments and and you know, most of the time, people are really glad for the things that happened along the way, because they're able to learn from them and it shaped them to who they are, which is really powerful. It also leads me to this thought of like what would you say to someone who is like how are you not so mad at your situation? Or mad at God, for example, or mad at like why this happened and how are you not stuck in the why me and why this?
Speaker 1:Well, you know, I want to be abundantly clear that I had plenty of nice. So why me Um? I am not a supernatural human being that didn't have. Why me's I had, why me's Um? But the difference of that is I didn't stay in. Why me Um?
Speaker 1:And I think, for you know, a couple of reasons which we, you know, we touched on my faith and my relationship with Christ and, you know, in not evaluating my identity with my injury and my chair and not attaching to that. So those things were huge. But I also think that for myself, and in so many ways, I just I never, I never, gave up on myself and I knew that if I was able to get through things, no matter how big or small they were, I was gonna be able to continue to move forward despite whatever hard things had to throw at me. But I also think that we as human beings have a very innate ability to want to control everything, and my biggest lesson and I'm type A like I'll be the ability to want to control everything. Yes, and my biggest lesson and I'm type A like I'll be the first girly to say it, I'm a type A girl, but my biggest lessons came from acknowledging the fact that my surrender was so much more powerful than my control and when I was able to lean on God and say, hey, I don't got this, I don't got this. I don't understand what I'm going through, but know that I believe that what I'm going through, I'm going to understand it someday and just help give me comfort and guidance. And I'm surrendering to the fact that I know that you're never going to let me walk through this alone, to the fact that I know that you're never going to let me walk through this alone.
Speaker 1:There's so many nights for me where I sat in my bed alone, where I had friends that were 16, 17, that were going to prom, that were getting their driver's license, that were becoming independent, and and I was the only person that I knew that was going through what I was going through at the time.
Speaker 1:And, um, my relationship with Christ was the only person in my life that had met me where I was at and made me feel like I didn't have to go through it alone. And I think, in my life now and redefining so many things about myself and learning so many things about myself, it gives me great comfort knowing that I learned that really early and that, no matter what happens to me or anybody that I love in my life, or hard things that I'm going to go through because it is the human experience that we're all going to go through really hard things. But it gives me great comfort knowing that I know that my life has meaning and it has value, and it's going to look a lot different than I thought it was going to. And it's going to look a lot different than I thought it was going to because, again, type A control God's going to do a lot more with my surrender than he's going to do with my control and I really believe that.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's powerful. And not easy for a type A girly. Wow yeah, and I think I'm just so proud of you, natalie, of who you're becoming and who you've become thus far. I love that you're such a light and inspiration to so many people and, like I said, I think for you the best is yet to come, like you're just getting started, girl.
Speaker 1:I feel well. Thank you so much for saying that and thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about my attitude and my unconventional truths as it comes to healing. But I just I think for for me, I it's just never too late to start doing whatever you want, and I think that's the most exciting thing about life and that, no matter what you've gone through, it's just never too late to try, and my whole life has been about trying, and I hope that people that are listening to this if you have something that you're deeply passionate about, or you're an adult and you want to learn how to horseback ride, use those legs. Get on that horse. I've gotten on a horse a couple of times. It's not pretty. I try though.
Speaker 1:I'm not jumping over things, I'm not, you know, I'm not an equestrian, but I I'm going to try and I hope that you know by listening to our conversation today, you know, you know that you're not stuck, wherever you're at and your life can change, but you're just one decision away from a new joy, a new love, whatever. But know that it's just never too late. No matter what happens to you, no matter if you're on two wheels, two legs, a horse, whatever, it's never too late.
Speaker 2:That's right. I love that it is never too late. So if you're out there thinking okay, I don't know, you know you're never too old, not too young, just go out there and do the thing. You just take your first step, your next right step. Well, natalie, I usually end my podcast by asking three questions. One of them is what is the best advice that someone gave you? And then I also want to know your worst advice, because I can imagine people said so too. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Should we start with the worst one? I feel like that's easier. The worst advice anybody gave me, probably that I'm too extroverted or I'm too loud and that I would be able to accomplish more if I was quieter. I think we could all agree that that was not a female that said that, so let's just put that out there. So that was. That was one Um. And then I think for the best advice that I ever got in my life, it was really that the pain that you're experiencing, no matter what you're going through, cannot compare to the joy that's coming, and that's a Bible verse in Romans 8, 18. And I take that in all aspects of my life, no matter what I'm going through. But then also we talked a little bit about my favorite quote of like it doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop, and I feel like that's also been such a pillar in my life in so many ways. But what about you? What's the worst advice that you've ever gotten? Like I'm dying to know.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I've gotten a lot of terrible advice. I don't I mean, yeah, I've. Yeah, people have told me I'm too much, for sure, and so I. But you know, the thing is that I'm in my thirties now. I'm a late thirties and it's like I like my too muchness. It makes me who I am, and you know what. I'll take it and I'm going to show up in rooms and be in the fullness of who I am and who God created me to be, because that me being the best version of me is a gift to the world.
Speaker 1:Just like all of us.
Speaker 2:if we all step into who we're made to be, this will be a better place. And a lot of us hide that because we're afraid of what people are going to think. We're afraid that we're going to be different and, like you said, normal is a setting in a washing machine.
Speaker 1:I don't believe in normal.
Speaker 2:normal is a setting in a washing machine. I don't believe in normal. I don't think anyone is like what is the average?
Speaker 1:the normal, like shine the light in who you are, into the fullness of who you are, oh amen, and it's you know. It's always so funny too, because when I feel like as a young woman as well, those are things that you know are said to you, possibly in childhood or growing up, that you know, sometimes you you take with you as far into adulthood and maybe you change your behaviors or whatever, and then as you get older, you're like you know, my Saturn is like starting to return and I actually really liked that about myself or I don't think someone's someone's too much is somebody else's. I can't get enough, which is like I feel like it is is I'm all about mindset shifts in a lot of ways and I feel like that has always, like, really helped me in so many ways and yeah, I'm like I just.
Speaker 2:I just don't think you understand my vision and that's okay If you think this is too much.
Speaker 1:you haven't seen anything we're like on level two. This is our first interview, baby. Like I can kick it up five more gears if you want to see too much, but that's right, Absolutely yes.
Speaker 2:I love that. What are some books that were transformative for you Like? If you think of like top three books?
Speaker 1:top three books. Okay, so I am a big reader, I'm a big Kindle girly, um, and I I'm going to age myself. I was like a big Borders girly when Borders was still around the bookstore and I love spending time there. But I think my, when it comes to faith, the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren is like a staple, and if you haven't read it it's totally transformational and it will change your life in so many ways. I'll have to choose one of Dr Amen's book. His book Change your Brain Every Day is a classic. So many practical tips about mental health and how to change your brain to better your behaviors, your life, et cetera. And if you have ADHD, healing ADD by Dr Amen is also incredible.
Speaker 1:And then I think, from just like a fun beach read moment, um, I have two friends that have written incredible celebrity memoirs. One of them is Crystal Hefner. She was, um the late widow to Hugh Hefner of playboy, and she talks about her journey, um, through so many different things, um, self-discovery, overcome anxiety, depression, uh, her time in her playboy mansion and taking back who she is, which was beautiful, um. And then the second one, um, it will have to be also from Dr Amen's wife, tana. It's called the relentless courage of a scared child, uh, and Tana also bravely talks about her journey through beating, cancer, anxiety, depression, a really traumatic upbringing, and how she's gotten to where she's at now, and it's it's. We could do an entire podcast just on, like my book reads, um, but those are just some fun ones to get you started.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I would love for you to answer this question. I know you, we touched on it through the interview, but what is the bravest thing that you've done? And I know you, we touched on it through the interview but what is the bravest thing that you've done?
Speaker 1:If you could sum it up, the bravest thing that I've ever done is not given up on myself when everybody else told me that I should, and that stemmed from the beginning of my injury and to the person that I am today. And just because you, wherever you're at, in losing somebody and losing a part of yourself and having a catastrophic XYZ happen to you, we attach so much to words, projections, things that people say, and in my earlier injury I actually had someone who I thought was a friend at the time tell me that she would rather be dead than be in my position. Um, to my face, wow, and I had a very different response back then than I would have today. But today I would say that you know, it's a, it's a privilege to exist. It's not a right, it's a privilege to exist.
Speaker 1:And just because, um, my reality is different than it was when I was 15, um doesn't mean it's any less meaningful, and you don't have to. Um, being being understood is so overrated. Um, it's not your job as my new friend, to understand me and vice versa, but it's my job to understand me. And if we can go bravely in the direction inward, you're going to see it transform every area of your life your career, your relationships, your friendships, how you show up as a friend, as a mother, as a wife, whatever, and that makes me feel brave, that makes me feel accomplished, and I know that whoever is listening to this call would feel the same as well If they, if they went inside, and it didn't scare them to disassociate or run away from it, they just were like you know, I'm stuck with you forever, so we're going to get comfortable, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're going to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Oh yeah, I love that, natalie. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that you'd love to share with the listeners?
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I think we covered so many great things that I hope people find so much value in. And you know, and I don't know? No, I don't think so. We talked about mindset, resilience, adversity, inner you know, self-belief, advice, all of it. No, I think it was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I could talk to you all day, but We'll have to do a part two.
Speaker 1:I like, I feel like it would be so fun to take, um, even just like one specific like condition or something and just like break it down, and I would love to get to know, like more about you as well, Cause I know we, I know when you have a guest on, you talk a lot about the guests, but you know there's I feel like there's so many things that we can talk about that I think people would have such value from, especially as women.
Speaker 2:Um yeah, so for sure. Well, it's been such an honor to interview you. I just really enjoy of who you are and what you bring, and it's just you're beautiful in every way and, um, I'm so excited to have you as a guest in the podcast. I know that listeners will be really encouraged. So thank you for the honor.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you so much for having me, and I hope everyone listening to this knows that. And then Dr Eamon always says like you're not stuck with the brain that you have, you can make it better. There's so many things that you can do to change your life, and if a girl that was given the most dire circumstances can do a lot of things that I've gotten to do like you can do even more. So thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you. Thank you for listening to the ones who dare podcast. It is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you enjoy the show, I would love for you to tell your friends. Leave us a reviewer rating and subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, because this helps others discover the show. You can find me on my website, speckhopalcom. Thank you.