THE ONES WHO DARED
THE ONES WHO DARED PODCAST Elevating stories of courage. You can listen to some of the most interesting stories of courage, powerful life lessons, and aha moments. Featuring interviews with leaders, pioneers and people who have done hard things. I hope these stories help pave the path for you to live out your courageous life.
THE ONES WHO DARED
Embracing Life's Unexpected Challenges: Jen Jones' Journey of Resilience, Joy, and Purpose
In this episode, we follow Jen Jones, a San Diego author, speaker, and coach, who transforms life's challenges into joy and purpose. She is the founder and CEO of Jen Jones Direct LLC, and creative architect of the Significant Conference and Retreats. Jen shares her experiences, particularly the unexpected birth of her daughter with Down syndrome, which reshaped her outlook on life and emphasized resilience, personal growth, and meaningful connections.
Key points include:
- Significant Life: Jen discusses living a purposeful life filled with joy, stressing that true joy stems from identity and relationships rather than actions.
- Community and Sisterhood: Significant transformation often happens through connections with others, and overcoming fears of rejection can lead to discovering one's path.
- Intentional Relationships: Aligning with true values fosters a life free from comparison, emphasizing the interconnectedness of physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional health.
- Embracing Suffering: Jen highlights health coaching for personal growth, advocating surrendering to circumstances to find freedom and intentional action.
- Transformative Mindset: Shifting from feeling life happens to you, to recognizing it happens for you, can unlock creativity and rekindle dreams.
- Faith and Community: Enduring faith and supportive relationships are crucial for navigating life's challenges and fostering personal growth.
This episode will inspire you to embrace their potential for joy and connection, offering insights for overcoming challenges and pursuing a fulfilling life.
-Links-
https://www.svetkapopov.com/
https://www.instagram.com/svetka_popov/
I think that the significant life one, it's unshakable joy. There is, a joy that comes in spite of circumstances. It's unshakable because it is not tethered to things that you do, it is, and it is not tethered to really just what you do, but more who you are and who you belong to. That is a huge component of what the significant life is. The significant life is also very much connected to a sisterhood. As far as women are concerned, meaningful connection matters. The breakthroughs that we experience, the purposes that we fulfill so often happen in a circle or because of a circle, a connection with someone. I believe that God always just like, if he wants to do something big in your life, or if he wants to send you out to do something big in your life, he often transports it in the vehicle of people.
Speaker 2:Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast, where stories of courage are elevated. I'm your host, becca, and every other week you'll hear interviews from inspiring people. My hope is that you will leave encouraged. I'm so glad you're here. Jen Jones, welcome to the Once With your Podcast. I am so honored to have you joining us from San Diego. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1:I am so honored to be here with you. This is going to be a great conversation and, yes, I am coming from sunny San Diego.
Speaker 2:Woo-hoo. Well, for those who don't know Jen Jones, she's an author, speaker, coach, a podcast host called Significant Life. She also hosts retreats for women called Significant Life, and she has her latest book just called, divinely Different Creating Significant Life when the Way is Unexpected, unwanted and Unknown. And also, I would add to that she is a champion, a woman helping them to create the life they love, which is what we're here to kind of talk about and pick Jen's brain a little bit about how do you create the life you love?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm excited to do that because I do. I think that you know, of course, we live in a broken world, a fractured society, but we do have a creator who did design us to live a life that can be a life of abundance and unshakable joy and incredible meaning, and so that's what I am here for. That's the kind of life that I have decided to live, and one that I hope to pay forward. I know that sounds a little trite pay it forward, but truly hope to serve other women in being able to do the same, Because I do believe that that's God's way and that's God's path. Not without difficulty, not without suffering. That's the title of my book. It often looks different than maybe you would expect, but perhaps that is actually the divine path and one worth walking.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you have significant life on almost everything. Your hand touches the podcast, your retreats, you know all the things. You're also a subscription that you could subscribe to to get emails of encouragement. Where did that come from? Because I know from my experience that the things that we're really passionate about sometimes tend to be the things that were once a struggle, a pain spot, as you may call it. How did this significant life purpose come about for you, jen?
Speaker 1:You are.
Speaker 1:So my people. We met on Instagram and we followed each other for a while and have engaged back and forth quite a bit. But even that very question I'm like, yep boy, you nailed it. So the significant life really does come from a deep fear in me that my life would not matter and that perhaps I wouldn't count. And I've done some deep diving and I've done some like internal work and I don't know, I don't know where that comes in.
Speaker 1:Maybe even in my young life I've always been a pretty high achieving. I was a high achieving kid, high achieving teenager kind of high capacity temperament. And so I do look back and sometimes wonder was I doing all of that stuff? I'm sure it was applauded, I know it was applauded and there's nothing wrong with all of the success and going after it. That's a part of this life too. But I sometimes wonder if those were things that I was trying to do even as a child life too.
Speaker 1:But I sometimes wonder if those were things that I was trying to do even as a child, unaware, to make myself matter, and I don't think I really hit the brick wall of it and then really began this whole significant life journey until the birth of my first daughter, who happened to be born with Down syndrome and I was, and that was an unexpected diagnosis to me. It was 20 years ago and I just did not know until birth that that was going to be a diagnosis for her and part of our story, part of her story and then part of our home, and I think some of it was just my ignorance around disabilities. I'd never really encountered it. And then some was just like very shocking and not prepared. And I do think that any mom who's listening gets pregnant has a baby. We long for a healthy baby and there's some chromosomal mishaps. When you get a Down syndrome diagnosis that's like would be definitely deemed as like unhealthy and no one wants that.
Speaker 1:And so, um, in that moment, um I, I had a flood of thoughts, but I do remember some profound ones that day of her diagnosis that I had this story that said she will be rejected, therefore I will be rejected and our lives will no longer matter.
Speaker 1:Wow, that there is no place in this world for her, and she's my daughter and I'm going to love her. And so, therefore, there's no place in this world for her, and she's my daughter and I'm going to love her. And so, therefore, there's no place in this world for us. And I felt that deeply to my core, which then started a journey of me becoming really aware of that fear in me. And then also, though, as I crossed she was in the hospital for a few weeks, and as I crossed the threshold of those hospital doors the day that we were released, about a month after her birth, I do distinctly remember hearing the voice of God. I mean, it was not audible, but in my heart, this still small voice, I heard now you go, show the world what really matters. And that became the beginning of really seeking it for myself and then bringing it to others what truly is a significant life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so how would you define significant life? I'm curious.
Speaker 1:I think that the significant life one, it's unshakable joy. There is, a joy that comes in spite of circumstances. It's unshakable because it is not tethered to things that you do, you do, um, it is, it is, and it is not tethered to um to really just what you do, but more who you are and who you belong to. Um, that that is a huge component of of what the significant life is. The significant life is all about is also very much connected to a sisterhood. As far as women are concerned, meaningful connection matters. The breakthroughs that we experience, the purposes that we fulfill so often happen in a circle or because of a circle, a connection with someone.
Speaker 1:I believe that God always, just like if he wants to do something big in your life or if he wants to send you out to do something big in your life, often transports it in the vehicle of people, of people. Absolutely significant life is all about meaningful connections and and a true sisterhood. It's also um walking worthy of what you're called to do, and I have chatted a little bit about living with intention. But and so there you have something specific to you that is destined for you to live out. That's that um makes a mark in this world, um, and while the significant life is not necessarily all about what you do, you are put on this word or on this earth to do good things and to serve mankind in meaningful ways, and so it is about like owning your worth and knowing who you are and then walking worthy of that, without comparison, without competition, just like fully owning what's on your life and how you are purposed to fulfill those promises that are set out for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like we all have different giftings too, you can see the spark that shines in someone else and be really encouraged by that, without being like, well, I don't have that. So now I feel crappy about myself or whatnot myself or whatnot, but it's like there are innate desires and giftings that are within us that are uniquely ours, and like when we don't develop those things or we try to mimic the next person next to us, we are robbing ourselves and the world of who we are in the fullness of who we're made to be, A hundred percent, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:I do think that this plays out maybe in your relationships or in your home, but it is about being values driven. It's not about living a life that's driven by rules, whether it be your rules for yourself or other rules that have been put on you. It's about living your life according to true values, that directs your path, that also allows you to live with great intention you know your yeses and you know your nos and that then produces this unshakable joy because you are actually living out who you are and what you're supposed to be doing and who you're supposed to be in this world. And, of course, it is connected to whole health. And I mean that in a sense of yes, of course physical health, but also spiritual, mental, emotional well-being, because without a sense of health and well-being, it's pretty hard to live out the life that is intended for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and wouldn't you agree that essentially or most of the time, it's the physical aspect, that kind of snowballs everything else? Because when physically we're not healthy, other and rhythms and habits like once you get your physical wellness in check, then everything else kind of like snowballs on those habits or compounds on that and you're able to add more habits and stack them and then it just produces a more healthier life overall? Because I've found that in my life, like when I'm working out, when I'm not missing, that, when I'm making sure that I'm getting enough sleep, that I'm taking care of myself, that I'm eating well and all those things, I'm more alert, I have more energy and I'm able to give myself and other pillars of my life, and then that produces, you know, better results and it's like overall you're seeing better health and stuff overall, you're seeing better health and stuff.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, I mean it when, when your body is in, in check, everything else tends to align. I also think that when you can get your physical body um in, in, in alignment, um, there's such a, it's such a like tangible result. It's like such a transactional, um, I guess a transactional transformation in a sense. Yeah, you can see the difference, you can feel the difference. So then it actually inspires you to um like, oh, that was effective, that works. I'm gonna create some habits. I'm like, as you said, I'm gonna stack some other habits that are like things that are unseen. So the physical help is even like it's incentivizing, because it's like you can see it, you can feel it and then it really does propel you forward to shift a lot of things in your life, be it relationships or spiritual life or or you know, other work habits, things like that when the physical body is in check. I 100% agree with you on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like you also get that confidence boost, like you feel better, you look better, you're more confident and exercise itself gives you like endorphins, where you know you're happier, you have more serotonin and all these different things. So there's a physical and psychological thing that happens, so it allows us to give you the confidence that you need in other areas of life. So I love that You're also a wellness coach on top of all the other things we mentioned.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I actually am, and for, honestly, all of the reasons that we have described, it's the health coaching component of my coaching is, I feel, an extra tool in my belt to serve people for everything that we're talking about.
Speaker 1:Like. A lot of times people just don't know what to do or they're overwhelmed because there is so much noise around what to do. And so I do primarily coach habits like physical health habits. I do primarily coach habits like physical health habits and as a result, they experience a physical health transformation. Oftentimes that means weight loss, because you know Americans anyways the average American is about 40 pounds overweight, so that it's a helpful tool to meet a tangible, felt need in the life of someone. And then it also enables me to be connected to the heart, because it's also a heart issue. Sometimes there's a lot going on and people are just wearing. They're just wearing what's going on on the inside, it's showing up on the outside and then the outside is limiting them from really being all that they want to be on the inside. So it's sort of this win-win when I can help someone as a health coach, then I can also help them take next steps in other areas of their life.
Speaker 2:I love that. I feel like we just got coached by Jen. What would you say to someone who is, you know, just maybe listening to this and they're like well, I want to create the life I love, but how do I do that? Where do I start? You know, I feel stuck. I don't. You know, life just didn't pan out the way that I thought it would, that I expected it to, you know. And here you guys are talking about creating the life you love, but, like, how do I do that?
Speaker 1:creating the life you love. But, like, how do I do that? Yeah, so I know that, um, you have a broad, a broad base of listeners and not everyone, um, maybe, um, like fully bible-based, but I do believe that, um, most of us seek some, seek faith and desire some truth. And there is a truth. There's a Proverbs that actually has helped me a ton on this journey of creating a life that I love, and it says to delight yourself in in God and he will give you the desires of your heart in in God and he will give you the desires of your heart. Now, that doesn't mean it's like this cosmic vending machine, like I'm going to do good and then good's going to come back to me. That's not, it's not really the heartbeat of this proverb. It is more to delight myself in my faith, delight myself in the creator that made me engage in relationship, and actually surrender a little part of like, surrender some of my, some of the things that are unexpected and unwanted.
Speaker 1:I had to really surrender those circumstances that like arrived at my like in that hospital room 20 years ago when my daughter was born. It was out of my control. So what was I going to do? I didn't have like the options. I don't even want to discuss what the options could have been, because it was, they were not on the table. For me it was like I'm taking this baby home and I'm going to love her and raise her and help, like I had no idea what I was doing.
Speaker 1:So there was an element of like surrendering even the circumstances of our life, um, truly to God.
Speaker 1:And as we do that, as we um and and as we find delight in that like surrender actually has become a place of like freedom.
Speaker 1:For me, um, it's not like the kind of surrender that, oh, someone's about to shoot you. It's more like raising that wife. I'm like, okay, I give, I give, I'm not capable in my own, help, rescue, and honestly, god he loves that, not because he wants to be like, just like this, controlling, controlling, you know, overbearing god, but because he sees things we don't see, says his ways are higher than our ways, thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and so, as, really, the path for me has started in that proverb of, okay, I'm gonna surrender, I'm to trust a little bit, and then he has put then the things that come in my heart, the things that I did want to do the ideas that I get, the thoughts that I have. There's a part of me that like kind of trusts my gut on it, because I'm like, oh, this must be how I'm being led, and then I can take the proper action steps, build the habits, lead myself with intention to see what happens.
Speaker 2:Does that make sense? Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense and I think, I think we all get to a point at some point in our lives where what we're doing isn't working and it requires surrender. You know, and one of my inspirations in regards to what you just said is actually my grandmother, who lived a really difficult life and she was in two different concentration camps. And I found this new interview, just like this past year, and at the end of her interview, knowing what a difficult life she's lived, you know now, knowing her story fully, at the end of her letter she writes but his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are better than my thoughts, and she says and that, you know, god is never late, he's always in time.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, how can someone who has lived a horrid life, like you know and it wasn't her whole life, wasn't terrible but had involved a lot of suffering that was completely outside of her control it wasn't, you know, I made poor choices and now I'm, you know, living with the consequences and I'm in jail and you know I shouldn't have committed these crimes, for example, right Completely out of your control. And I think for me that's a huge lesson. Because for someone to have had these terrible things happen to them out of their control, to get to the end of their life in their 80s and say, hey, you know what His ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, it's like wow, because you know, somebody can say, can quote that scripture, you know. But to have that from a full life experience of suffering I think is very significant. Hey, significant life.
Speaker 1:Hey, there it is. It just pops up all the time.
Speaker 2:There it goes.
Speaker 1:There it goes. Yes, I know I think that suffering is actually. Nobody wants it. I don't want it, but it is actually suffering, through suffering, that some of the most profound and meaningful things have come from my life, because suffering it's like that crucible of pain and it actually like refines us and produces gold, and it's terrible, it's like sand, sandpaper, it's like the worst thing ever on our hearts, but it it definitely does, um, cause us to shine like a diamond. I mean, that's what they do, and for gold and and for diamonds, all these things that are so beautiful and shine and we love and are so valuable yeah, all of that has to go through this terrible crucible of whether it's like by fire or by completely like sandpapering and polishing and scrubbing it down, and we would love to skip that step as humans, but I have found that that is the only path to really create a life that we love, one that's like, okay, I can walk, worthy of this.
Speaker 1:I've been through some stuff, I've earned this a bit, and the beautiful thing, as we're talking about God, is we're never alone in it. We're just never alone in it, and so that's. The other thing is not to necessarily deny the suffering or try to make it go away. There's been a bit of a surrendering to it because I know that God is with me, and then I'm often like, okay, and then what are you saying to me in this? What are you inviting me into and knowing that His plans for me are good? The scriptures promise that and that in some capacity, as I surrender this difficulty, this darkness, the suffering to him, that he will work it together for good and for my purposes. That he has promised for me.
Speaker 2:And so good and for my purposes, that he has promised for me, and so, um, yeah, and and there's no one goes through this life without some form of suffering. I think sometimes it's a good reminder for us, because when you're in the middle of your suffering, it may feel like you're alone. It may feel like you have it the worst. It may feel like you know there's no one else that's going through what you're going through. Chances are someone's been through the exact same situation. You know there's no one else that's going through what you're going through. Chances are someone's been through the exact same situation. You know in some form. And I think A that gives us comfort to know this is part of being a human.
Speaker 2:Suffering is part of being a human, and the way that I look at life is life is full of ebbs and flows, life is full of seasons, and there's seasons that you may be in your mountaintop and things may be going well, and then you have a different season that maybe there's a lot of hardship and a lot of working through, and sometimes we inflict our own suffering by making choices that are going the wrong path or whatnot.
Speaker 2:But in general there is hardship before we experience kind of the, the produce of joy, even if it's something that we're working on, like if you're working on a program, for example, to lose weight. It's painful, it's hard, but there's a reward at the end of that. You know, we get to that where it's like okay, now I feel better and I'm um, you know it's. It's easier now to do some of the things that maybe were harder for you to do, and so I think, when we look at life as it's not linear and things aren't going to be the same, like one of the quotes that I love and hate is the most constant thing about life, or the most is how change that's the most constant thing about life is change, and it's like you know that's what we can expect.
Speaker 1:The most is change, and there's going to be new beginnings and necessary endings, and those necessary endings often come as a result of suffering and they also create suffering and, honestly, sometimes so do new beginnings. But the point is, if you're not dead, you're not done, and there's always something more, more for you to learn, more for you to become, and that becoming process does enable you to then serve the world in a way that's actually going to be very rewarding for you. And I, as you were talking, I just thought back to you know, the most recent like global event, which was the summer Olympics, and the stories that are elevated, the athletes that are praised are the ones who have been through the darkest times and they've made a comeback, or they have, like, like, surrendered to the process and enabled themselves to feel the pain they've had to go through. You know the, the diagnoses or the injuries or whatever, um, and then they have, they have become something grittier, something of more depth of character, a different level of integrity, all the things that actually matter most. And then that is what then elevates them and what puts them on a podium that receives a gold.
Speaker 1:I mean, you can point to so many and so we hate it and we don't want to suffer and we don't want setbacks. They are actually part of the path to this life that you dream of and you hope for, and one that you would actually really, really love, because without those deep, deep depths of pain, you actually would never be able to experience the heights of joy, and so that's been a part of like. I mean, I was one to avoid sad I don't love. Sad I don't love who loves disappointment, like all of those things. I don't love them, but I've actually learned to be like oh okay, this is part of this is part of the significant life, this is a part of the process, because if I don't feel these things, then I actually don't get to experience the richness of the mountaintop and of joy, this unshakable joy. So, yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly on it's just a part of the human condition in life, and we can either choose to keep fighting it and be miserable or embrace it and see what God's going to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think too, a lot of times we get so kind of just on this hamster wheel of life that you know you're paying the bills, you're working, you're doing all the things and you forget to dream again, you forget to live life to the fullest and be intentional with life, and so I'd love for you to share on how do we create more intentional rhythms, or what does that look like for you when you coach somebody through living their significant life or creating the life that they love? What are some steps and pillars that you suggest to in order to do those things and kind of get out of that rut of like life is happening to me, it's not happening for me and like I you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I mean, I think that's a very good place to start, like cause we do look at, we play the victim quite a bit, you know, cause. It's cause, I think, what we're just saying life is hard, it's human, it's. You know, we live in a fallen world, we have fractured communities, we experience hurt and pain and disappointment, and that can cause like well, life is hard. And then we're like some sort of victim which then leads to this pity party which then ends up depleting our dreamer and sucks the creativity and any delight out of us. And so I do think it starts with like okay, this isn't all happening to me. Perhaps this is happening for me. It is intended to do a good work in me, so that there will be a good work produced from me and out of me. And so I do think we have to shift. It's a big mindset shift.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, they do say that the um, that we pretty much all stop dreaming around the age of 10 and we definitely stop creating Um, it's just the way it's. It's just the way that um, our society is. I mean, we've probably been knocked down a few times. We're told, you know, to stay in the lines and fit in a box and all these things. And so, as adults, it is difficult to dream because we have these big responsibilities we got to pay the bills, we got to take care of things, we got to have a job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, so let's go on and on. So I think I often like to.
Speaker 1:Just, I think one of the best habits that anyone can create is a like a morning routine that you actually, um, it might require getting. I mean, for me it requires setting an alarm and getting up early. Sometimes I don't have to set the alarm. My body will sometimes, like you know, figure it out, but I do have to get up and kind of just sit with myself in the silence. That's also time when I do read or focus on what is true, get out of my own, and then, the way I like, I'll focus on what is true, and then I get out of my own thoughts by journaling. Journaling is an incredible way to dream again, because you can write out and get out all the negative thoughts that are constantly spinning and you get those out.
Speaker 1:And then I ask myself I will ask myself this question like on repeat, jen if you could do anything that you wanted to do. What do you want to do? Who do you want to be? It's a lot of forward thinking leading from the future acting out. Who do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in? It's a lot of forward thinking leading from the future acting out. Who do you? Who do you want to be in five years? Where do you want to be in five years? What do you want your like? How do you? How do you? What gifts do you want to be using in five years? What kind of relationships do you want to have in five years? You know and and think out.
Speaker 1:Now, sometimes that's that's really hard. So it's like how, about next year? Yeah, you want to do next year and it might be something simple, like I really want to take my family on that vacation, great. So then what do I need to do today? To begin working toward getting the family on that vacation and you set up these like steps I call it structural tension and to get your family, like, bite by bite, on that vacation.
Speaker 1:And for, like, that was actually a big deal to me 13 years ago because we, like my husband and I, hadn't been on a big trip since we got married and we got married 24 years ago, so it'd been like 10 years since our honeymoon that we'd done anything like extravagant, and that was my big dream. It wasn't about what I was going to do with my life or some new career shift. It was like I want to go on a week long exotic vacation. We ended up going to Aruba but it was like, okay, well, what do I have to do?
Speaker 1:That was a dream I would start with, like little things like that that aren't necessarily world changing or earth shattering. It doesn't require you to make a move or change careers, but once you just start doing some of those, it's practice and it will create a habit and it actually starts a rhythm of dreaming for you again. But I do think you have to get and sit in some silence to even get your space to think about that. And that's also why I encourage journaling, because we kind of we sit in our heads a lot and the journaling piece pen to paper enables you to be conscious about what you're actually thinking and it's actually proven science that if you write it down it's more likely to happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think there's like a huge percentage too that if you write down your goals or your ambitions write it down it's more likely to happen. Yeah, yeah, I think there's like a huge percentage to that If you write down your goals or your ambitions, you're more likely to have them, versus the person who doesn't. And I love that you're saying like you put that dream ahead, like I want to take you just took your family to Paris. You guys just were all there. I've seen that on Insta. That's so fun and it's like that took some intentionality right and planning ahead and being like okay, when do we start saving? How much do we need to do? How do we make this happen? Because it's not easy to get, you know, a family of four well, six to go to Paris, you know, and there's a lot of planning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there also I would say, um, and it's good to kind of the sit with yourself piece is so good because you can ask yourself deeper questions. Well, why? So I did want to take my family to Paris, and it was probably about a year, maybe nine months, before we actually went that I was like, oh, I want to take my family to Paris, and the reason it's connected to something, anything that you even will allow yourself to desire, if you allow yourself to have a desire. And then then ask yourself why? And the reason why for me was because one of my kids was getting ready to launch out of the house and college, and so I was like I want a meaningful moment with all six of us, cause I'm about to lose control of the calendar because I have an appropriately so you know she's, I have a kid that's launching and going to be having creating her own schedule and her own life, and I don't know if we'll all be able to be gone for three weeks together because calendar is shifting and I'm still in control, because everyone is still under my roof.
Speaker 1:But it wasn't even about the control. I was like I want this meaningful moment, also why I want my kids to dream. So I need my kids to get in other environments and experience the world in different ways so they too can dream and see something beyond their four walls or beyond their. She was like, okay, I want a meaningful moment with our family before the one launches and I want my kids to to see the world so that they can expand their thinking and their dreaming. Honestly, then it makes saving the money and like it will empower your steps to get there. When it's connected to something meaningful to your heart, it's more than a vacation, it's more than just a trip. So, whatever you begin to desire, I would encourage you to then in your journal why do I want that? And it'll be connected to something deeper that will then drive your decision to make it happen yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:And journaling too, like you said, because you're being conscious with it.
Speaker 2:It gets you out of that rut of like go, go, go.
Speaker 2:It's just like that pause to say, okay, what's my intention, what do I want, what do I want my life to look like? What is it maybe in this season of life that you're like I am just so frustrated with this, or I want, what do I want my life to look like? What is it maybe in this season of life that you're like I am just so frustrated with this, or I want this to change, and how can you go about changing that? And sometimes that for like for me there were seasons where it's like okay, there are certain things that I have to deal with within myself that maybe I need to seek counseling, maybe I need to seek some professional advice on some of these things to get past certain walls that I've been coming up against and to break some of those walls and now I can walk into new spaces and a new chapter in my life, because these things were resistance to my growth and why am I coming up towards the same thing? So sometimes I think that also could look like when you take that time to be with yourself. I think you have clarity on what some of your steps may need to look like.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because it brings about an awareness You're like actually awake instead of just like kind of in this rut of mindlessly doing what you've always done.
Speaker 1:It's a pause. It's a pause and a time to, like, reflect and think, and it doesn't actually have to be long, I mean, you know, I mean, if you can give yourself 10 minutes, that's 10 minutes to actually become aware of what you're thinking, instead of just subconsciously going through your mundane routines. And so I 100% agree with you. It causes you to really wake up. And then, when you wake up and I will say, when you do this and invite even the presence of God to come in the space, then there is this supernatural that kind of meets your natural, and you do begin to have these inspired thoughts of, oh, maybe I need to reach out to that person to help me with this, or oh, maybe I actually need reach out to that person to help me with this, or oh, maybe I actually need to go to counseling to dig deeper on this. And it will lead you it will actually lead you to the steps to then end up dreaming and creating and living out what is your next season assignment.
Speaker 2:I love that. What are some other pillars in the significant life that you touch on?
Speaker 1:Oh goodness. Well, okay, so we've talked joy and purpose and kind of like and suffering, surrendering the S words.
Speaker 1:Yes, surrendering, I would say. I know we talked a little about sisterhood, which is also an S word. I would was community. Community is so, so key. It's why everything that I do, I do do within a circle, and I think there is incredible power in being at events where there's someone on a stage and inspiring you, and I think that's so, so powerful and those moments are really good. And then I think it's vital to then get in a circle where you can process it, because it is those smaller spaces that end up bringing or even one-on-one that ends up bringing about transformation to you, because you need to be able to to it too.
Speaker 1:It's like a lot of intake and I think, as women, we need to sort of regurgitate a little bit of like what we heard, how it impacted us, and then seek some support in that.
Speaker 1:And so community I just believe that's where breakthrough happens, yeah, and so community is such a key component and we need that meaningful connection. And, unfortunately, all of this suffering, all of this disappointment, all of this like mundane sort of unintentional living actually produces a lot of isolation and we actually withdraw and we actually feel like often it's because of shame or fear, and so we actually shrink back and when, what really? In those seasons of feeling shame or fear or disappointment, we need to lean in, because that's where we discover those two powerful words from someone else me too and we realize we're not alone. We find some validation, which we do need, that like, oh okay, I'm not crazy, right, and then we receive some support and maybe some structure or some systems and tools to then actually move forward and find the breakthrough. So I'd say community is absolutely like it is one of my favorite pillars, but it's definitely a huge, huge, huge pillar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I think that overall. For there's a guy I think he wrote the good life, how to live a good life Dr. Forget his name, but he did a study where they follow people for like over 80 years and their families and it's like what is what creates a good life and a long life? And the answer to that is relationships. People have communities. That is like the end all right. When you're in community of people, when you're able to share the highs and lows of your life, the different seasons of life, it makes life so much more bearable, enjoyable and you're able to go through so much more than without community. And I think you're right that when we are going through some difficult times, the instinct is to withdraw and to kind of isolate, but loneliness is a killer. So, like if you're feeling alone, I really would encourage you to reach out to somebody, reach out to a friend, anyone that you think that you know, and just be intentional with stewarding those relationships, because in order to have friends, you have to be a friend.
Speaker 1:Oh, my goodness, yes, my mom said that to me every day as I would leave for school in my early years. Yeah, she would. She would just always say honey, if you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend, and it is so, so true. And I do think that's you know you, and I've been talking a lot about intentionality. I don't think community just happens for you.
Speaker 1:I think we all wish it would, and we're just like all these best friends to just show up on our doorstep, but the truth is you really do have to put yourself in the rooms. It's risky and it's so, so risky. And I would just encourage you to start where you are, because there are people all around you, there's already. You use the word steward, and I just love that, because I do think that if we would just steward the relationships that are right in front of us, we would probably be surprised at some of the really meaningful connections that might occur. And then you know, then you can go from there. You don't have to travel across the country to put yourself in some room, or or you might need to, but the truth is, steward what's right in front of you first and then see where that leads.
Speaker 2:What is currently lighting your fire right now?
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, it's just like we're talking about so many of the things that I currently and this is such a Silly it's going to sound it Well, it sounds silly to me. See, look at like I still sometimes we have contempt for ourselves, even when we know all the things. When we know all the things, um, I am really focusing on an enduring faith, and faith I have known I grew up in church, I've known God my whole life, so faith seems like so um, simple of a word, like, of course, and everyone has. But faith is actually operating in the unseen, believing for what is unseen and what is lighting my fire is actually like, okay, according to things that were, like that, I'm dreaming and I want and I desire, and I'm actually standing in the present going, whoa, how will that happen? How will that be man? Wouldn't that be cool?
Speaker 1:If you know, wouldn't it be cool if and I'm actually committed to having an enduring faith that it is going to come to pass, and it's just me believing in what is unseen and the hope of what is to come, and I'm wanting to take as many on the journey, because it's actually I'm just finding it to be a way more exciting life than just looking around at what is and being like, oh well, I guess it is what it is, and there have been times in life that that's been my like. Well, is what it is. And I'm like nope, no more low living, no more low living. We're not going to like God is unlimited and I'm going to have an enduring faith and the enduring part matters for me because of everything that we've talked about Life. Life is hard, life is disappointing, life includes suffering. So it's like nope, I will endure, I will endure, I will endure and I will not give up and I will contend. And it's actually kind of exciting and it's kind of lighting my fire, that silly, simple word faith.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love that. And what were you going to say before this question?
Speaker 1:No no, no, no. I just like I was going to say like you know, a huge pillar is enduring faith, because I think most of us have faith but, then it quickly falls by the wayside because life doesn't go as we want, and that actually was.
Speaker 1:I choose a word every year, and that was my word for this year, and I I had no idea some of the loss that I would experience, some of the difficulty that would occur, and I'm like, oh, that's okay, that's okay, I'm choosing to believe in what is unseen. And it's not just about being optimistic or it's not about the power of positive thinking. Um, though, I will say it is. Uh, it is a lot easier to just think negative less. So perhaps that I'm doing that, perhaps I'm like, eh, I'm not going to think on all of these things that are negative. I'm going to think that are above and those things are unseen because they are going to be empowered by God through me as I stand in this enduring faith that says nope, not backing down, not gonna quit, and I really want other women to join me in that.
Speaker 2:That's awesome and you have a retreat coming up in January, is it yeah?
Speaker 1:2025. I do it at the beginning of the year kind of as a refresh, restart, renew, restore and in that space we very much discover next season assignments as we go into a new year, and most of the women are pretty high capacity women like you who do desire to have, you know, a solid faith, a healthy home and really even nourish their bodies well for the mission that's set before them. And so this is a space where we come and gather and in community and connection, and it's a smaller retreat, there's limited spots and it's just a very, very powerful time and a ton of fun too.
Speaker 2:And it's just a very, very powerful time and a ton of fun too. Yeah, and it is an amazing place the Oaks. I've been at the Oaks with the Zubop Golfs writing retreat and man, what a little sanctuary there. It's just like, oh, I know, like I dream of coming back there. You know, and a lot of people do, they come back like every year. I'm like, how are you all back there every year?
Speaker 1:I know and a lot of people do. They come back like every year.
Speaker 2:I'm like how?
Speaker 1:y'all back there every year. I know, I know yeah, because it is, it's an investment. I mean you definitely yeah, but it is a it is.
Speaker 2:It is a lovely space yeah, I'm fortunate it's in it's. It's in san diego, so it's only 45 minutes from me, but yeah that's amazing. Yeah, well, I want to honor your time and wrap up with some of our concluding questions, which is what is the bravest thing that Jen's done?
Speaker 1:I know I knew this question was coming the brave thing I've ever done. I mean, I think over a decade ago my husband and I grabbed our four kids and we did leave like a pretty comfortable, suburban, safe life of our city to do some restorative work and serve the people of our city and and people of all kinds, Not not just those who are impoverished but those who actually are people of means but are impoverished in their souls. And so and we've been living in the city ever since and so it doesn't now I have reaped such joy and benefit that it doesn't feel like it was that hard. But I often think back to the day we did it and it felt like we were jumping off a cliff. We had no job, we had no income, we were just like, um, yeah, it felt like we were like jumping off of a cliff and like hoping to build our wings on the way down and here we are, here we are. So that felt very like in the natural.
Speaker 2:That was a very, very brave thing, yeah because it's like talk about facing the unknown right, like you don't know what it's going to look like, what you're going to encounter, and all of that. What would you say are three pivotal books that have been in your life, transformative books.
Speaker 1:So good. Oh, my goodness. I loved a book by Lisa Turkhurst that said that was about best yes, because it was about intentional living, and that was really, really, really profound. I'm looking in my cabinet right now because uh, actually she's a friend of mine, but her name is Carrie Garcia and it's called um free and fully alive, and it's that fully alive part that that gets, gets you, and it actually, for me, required deeper work because, as a Christ follower, I'm like, oh, I'm free. The second, I accept Jesus, but sometimes people of faith they're free, but they're not fully alive, and so that is a super, super profound read for me.
Speaker 2:So I would say those two Awesome. And what would you say is some of the best advice that you've ever gotten.
Speaker 1:Well, it did. So I have four kids and the home is really important to me, because there was a season that I wasn't doing anything outside of the home and I actually felt benched. I felt like I was forgotten, I felt like my life had no purpose. So, to any young moms out there like I feel that and I felt like who am I and all of these things? And but there was. So at that season I did feel like okay, focus here, steward what's in front of me in these four walls. And the next season assignment will be an overflow of what I do here. And it's so true.
Speaker 1:So much of what I guide and teach women are things that I had guided and taught in my own home and values that we had instilled here first. So when we did take that big leap, I knew that there would be a cost for my kids, a cost of security, a cost of like what was known for them, and they were. They were young, they were like three, five, seven and nine, and I know that they're resilient, but nonetheless I knew that the path that we were about to be on was going to shift the trajectory of the life they would have had otherwise if we just stayed in the suburbs. Someone said to me actually in a message on in DMs, like she had been watching what we were doing, and she just said I want you to know that what you're doing is brave, um, and I know you feel like it's a cost for your kids. However, if it's God's plan for you, it's God's plan for them and don't do this. Don't, don't not do this because it feels like it's discomfort to them, because it's actually shaping them for the path that God has for them.
Speaker 1:And she was actually a child, now an adult child of an admission of a missionary, and spent most of her life in a third world country. She is now in States, but she was like it's why I even do what I do today, because I spend so much time in another country. So don't deny this because you think it's going to be too much discomfort for your kids. It's not their path and I have, just like now, as they grow, that is, they got to figure out their own path. But as they were littler and we were making these major decisions and me wondering if I was destroying my children's life, I actually can't appreciate. No, actually this is shaping my kid's life in the same capacity that it's shaping me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love that. Well, is there anything that you'd love to share with the listener that we haven't touched on yet, or any encouragement you'd want to pass on?
Speaker 1:Girl. I think we covered it. We did some. We really covered some good stuff. But I would just encourage people to implement some of the habits, especially that morning one to sit with themselves for a second so that they don't settle for a life of just meh, but to know that there's actually more. There's actually more for you and not to be afraid to lean into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good. Well, Jen, where is the best place that people can find you?
Speaker 1:Okay, I would say either Jen Jones directcom or on Instagram. I have a good time over there on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Yes, you do Find her dancing, having a good time making them reels. I'm like that girl's brave out there, she's still playing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's just Jen Jones times four over there.
Speaker 2:I love it. Well, thank you so much for your time. It's been such an honor talking to you. Finally, and just yeah, for you to encourage listeners. I appreciate it. You too, thank you so much. Thank you for listening to the ones who dare podcast. It is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you enjoy the show, I would love for you to tell your friends. Leave us a reviewer rating and subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, because this helps others discover the show. You can find me on my website, speccapapacom.