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THE ONES WHO DARED
How to Get Unstuck from a Negative Mindset | Ionica Bazna
In the latest episode of the Once We Dare podcast, psychotherapist and a holistic coach Ionica Bazna shares insights on overcoming negativity and fostering personal growth. She discusses her journey from writing a transformative book to understanding the link between negative thought patterns, body chemistry, and emotional resilience. Key topics include:
- Roots of Negativity: Negative thoughts are part of our survival mechanism but can be managed.
- Acceptance and Community: Embracing our current state and surrounding ourselves with supportive environments helps redefine identity and develop positive thought patterns.
- Mindfulness Techniques: Practices like meditation and gratitude can help manage negativity, though they should be used mindfully to avoid distraction.
- Digital Detox: Disconnecting from external stimuli fosters clarity and self-awareness, allowing for deeper processing of thoughts.
- Intentional Living: Reconnecting with our inner selves promotes holistic well-being and aligns actions with true intentions.
Listeners are encouraged to adopt practical strategies to empower their lives and transform their mindsets.
-Links-
https://www.svetkapopov.com/
https://www.instagram.com/svetka_popov/
It's very interesting. In the same time, it's not surprising. Our chemistry in our body is contributing a lot to that. So whenever we are having pretty much like a behavior around certain things and we get used with certain thoughts, with certain scenarios and we never put them to sleep through working with ourselves, our body is going to get addicted by it. So every time when we wake up in the morning, it's almost like our body is asking for food or something that, uh, yeah, it's our body needs. So of course, that cluster of chemicals or or that cocktail of chemicals in our body, the minute we wake up, is going to ask for a certain scenario or certain thoughts, and the thoughts are going to be linked with that sensation in our body. It's not surprising, yeah, so it's a conditioning of our body. Basically, we condition our body and our mind with any type of thoughts. It can be positive or negative.
Speaker 2:Hey friends, welcome to the ones who dared podcasts where stories of courage are elevated. I'm your host, becca, and every other week you'll hear interviews from inspiring people. My hope is that you will leave encouraged. I'm so glad you're here, ionica Bezna. Welcome to the Once we're here podcast. Thank you so much, esvezka. It's a pleasure to be here.
Speaker 2:I am so excited to have you on this podcast because we're about to give the listeners some incredible value of how they can overcome negative thoughts, how they can get unstuck and create the future that they want, to flip the negative thinking into positive thinking. And so you are an integrative psychotherapist and a holistic coach. You specialize in helping entrepreneurs to align with their mission, increase their productivity and develop effective leadership and emotional resilience. So you have a very different approach, though, than a lot of people. You approach it with a holistic standpoint, and so I'm just excited for you to share and kind of dig into how we can stop self-sabotaging ourselves. But before we get into that, tell us a little bit about you. You're coming to us from Romania today, and so I'm so excited and thank you so much for being on here.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, zedka. It's such a beautiful description of what I do and my passion and what I share with the world. Yeah, indeed, I will start by saying that I'm a simple human being. I'm serving others through everything I learned until now, everything I studied. Of course, I have different hats, like you know, I'm a sister, I'm a daughter, I'm a partner to my partner and all the other hats I'm wearing at the moment. Yeah, professionally, as you already said, I'm an integrative psychotherapist and also a holistic coach. I'm the author of the book From A to Z the Emotional Alphabet of Free People. It's not yet in English, but it will come out soon. Uh, I'm uh in many communities doing my, uh, uh, yeah, what I do day by day and helping others with the knowledge I gain until now what inspired you to write your book that's a great question.
Speaker 1:I feel like it was necessary to write it for me, especially even though in the beginning I fooled myself thinking that let me write this book so I can help others with it and share it with the world, because it's going to be such a great inspiration piece. But in the end, towards the end, I realized that actually I've done it for myself in the beginning. So it was necessary for my process to structure everything I've been through up until this point in life and be able to give it to the world in a structured form that is making sense and come with a lot of exercises and the step-by-step process so they can get where they want.
Speaker 2:Yeah, amazing. So let's get into the subject. Why do we get stuck and what is it about us human beings that tend to side on the negative side, right like we have certain mindsets that really keep us stuck. So I guess, before we even go there, how would you describe?
Speaker 1:a mindset. Well, of course, here are many things that we need to take in consideration, but the mindset is a cluster of, it's a combination, actually, of thoughts, the chemistry in your body, the emotions that you've been used with throughout your life, and they all, plus the environment, of course, and they all contribute to your mindset. So every single area of the human being is going to decide what is going to be your mindset, if it's going to be a positive one or not. So positive, yeah, so this is how I would describe it.
Speaker 2:How would you walk someone through, for example, who has a belief that say that either you know something negative is always happening to me or they think that you know something good happens. It's only a matter of time before something bad happens again. So how would you walk that person through of trying to break that mindset and developing new patterns, for example?
Speaker 1:That's a very good question. I would start by saying that our mind is inclined towards negative thoughts. It's just evolutionary. I would say, say, yeah, in the first years of our life, we have to remember those negative events so we can actually learn from them and be able to survive. So it's a survival thing. Therefore, of course, because we get used with it, the first scenario that is going to come into our mind is a negative one.
Speaker 1:So, um, I wouldn't necessarily hide from negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are absolutely normal, but the fact that we tend to fuel them and interact with them and engage with them this is where we get in trouble, you know. So, how I would, um, yeah, or how I would help someone walk through a negative belief is actually by, uh, starting to understand, help that person to understand, to to understand that a negative belief is not something that you should be scared of. You just need to see is to see it as it is a mechanism that keeps you alive, and the mechanism that keeps you survive basically helps you with that. Yes, and then, of course, how we yeah it's so you're saying no negative thoughts.
Speaker 2:Essentially, they inform us to protect ourselves right from falling back into that negative situation, or it's more of a survival skill. So our mind remembers that more at its core than perhaps some of the positive memories. Is that what you're saying, exactly? Yeah, so how does someone reframe that then?
Speaker 1:I hear many times people saying how do we get rid of negative thoughts? How do we let go of negative thoughts? And I would say that this is the the first trap that we are falling in. We don't need to get rid of negative thoughts. They are there, as I said earlier, to help us not have the same negative experiences that we encounter in the past. Of course, from that point, yeah, you slowly, slowly start to accept them, embrace them, interact with them in a very kind way, so you don't give too much power to that negative scenario and if you do this enough and you don't scare you are not scared of having them slowly, slowly, those negative patterns are going to become less threatening.
Speaker 1:For ourselves and we are going to relax around them. Okay, I have a negative thought. All right, this is coming from that experience where I was, I don't know, afraid of something. Is this the reality? No, then let me go towards what I want, not, uh, yeah, towards what I don't want, or what my mind is saying that, um yeah, I need to go, you know towards.
Speaker 2:So do you? So you're saying, essentially, you want to identify where is this thought coming from, and from there, just say, okay, is this true? And check that thought if this is true. So, for example, with that example of someone thinking that either A oh, things are always bad that are happening to me and they're in this pattern of seeing the negative things and that's what they're focusing on and they're thinking that it's true, I have identified that this is a truth in my life, that negative things are always happening to me. And look around, here's an evidence, and there's an evidence, and there's an evidence.
Speaker 2:And I'm always finding the evidence, or that person who thinks, oh, I had something good happen, is just a matter of time before the shoe drops or something negative is going to happen. So I better either hold on or hold tight with anxiety, not enjoying that present positive thing because something's about to go wrong.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Yeah, we are very comfortable around this mindset because it's really the one that gives us what we are used with, gives us what we are used with. Therefore, yeah, when we interact with someone that is having, in general, a negative mindset, we need to understand that this is so safe for them. They found, in a way, the safety in that unsafe zone and this is probably the first thing that they struggle with when it comes to changing their thoughts. Mm, hmm, to change it, I'm always going to be like this Look how negative I am, the more they feed that kind of reality and they truly believe it, even though the reality in that moment it might not be that negative, but they cannot separate reality from their thoughts. So, yeah, you are saying exactly how it usually happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And so how does that person who wants to change but they don't know where to start, like if they are, for example, negative or they have some set mindsets how do they go from being that negative person to unraveling into new thought process, new habits, essentially to break those patterns?
Speaker 1:Negative thoughts are often associated, at least in psychotherapy, with this idea of shadow. You've probably heard of it, or the people that are listening to us heard about this at some point in their life. So, basically, this shadow that a person is having needs to be accepted, needs to be embraced. So the first step so they can change that is actually to accept that at this moment, in this present moment, this is who I am. I'm a combination of many negative thoughts and sporadically, from time to time, seeing a positive thought or some hope or some faith or some inspiration. This is who I am right now. This is something that is going to say about me that I'm broken.
Speaker 1:No, yeah, so it's just how my mind is operating at the moment. So only from this place they can actually start changing something. If they identify totally with those negative thoughts, it's a lot harder because they already feel like I cannot fix this. This is who I am. I'm broken, something is wrong with me and I have to, you know, cope with it the best I can and not even hope that at some point I will fix it in the future. Yeah, so this is, this is basically the key, I would say, in changing those negative thoughts and, yeah, go with your mindset towards something that can help your objectives in the future to come true. Yeah, so therefore, the key is actually to realize that your inner reality is not your outer reality or the reality that you see outside of you, and to not identify with what is going on in your mind. I'm separate and my thoughts are here.
Speaker 2:I'm not my thoughts yeah, so it's almost like we see ourselves through a certain filter based on our experiences, our beliefs, the way that we're raised in a combination of things like you mentioned genetics as well I'm in the beginning, and so we have a filter that we view the world with that may be different from the person sitting next to you, because they had a different set of experiences and beliefs and systems and opinions, and so how do we begin to change some of that and allow that more is possible for us than where we are currently? Okay?
Speaker 1:than where we are currently. Okay, after this particular step that I just mentioned earlier, to realize what's going on, accept it and realize that you are not the thoughts that you're experiencing. After that, the best thing that you can engage with is actually, uh, with other minds and other people that are seeing that future that you want as well. I would say that, yeah, being together and around people that are having a, the mindset that you are hoping for, is going to help your brain to calibrate to the same frequency and the same mentality and the same set of beliefs that others are having. So this is the easiest, I would say. Of course, some others prefer uh, you know, to to go first into therapy and to, you know, read the self-help, self-help books or try to find information and search within, which is great if this is something that it's a lot more easier for them in the beginning. But the easiest way to actually calibrate your brain to a different type of mindset is actually to try to be around people that are having that kind of reality already.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes sense because when we're around people, there's a saying that is you are the average of the five closest people to you. So the people that you hang around is what sets your belief systems. And it's interesting, because the study has been done, that even something as your financial level is affected, your morals are affected, your values, your, the way you look and the dress and all those things they play an impact.
Speaker 2:The habits that you have develop with the you're the average of the five closest people to you. So, whether people have good habits or bad habits, if you're around people who are athletic and who really prioritize health and wellness, chances are you that's going to become more a priority to you, or, vice versa, people who have really bad habits or that may be something that you might be picking up when you're hanging around them. And so, exactly, I do find that it's interesting, because the people we are around and that's why I'm sure you, with coaching and having clients who are entrepreneurs, you see that a lot of them are in masterminds and they get themselves into places and positions where there are around people who think bigger, who are able to expand their mindsets beyond what they currently think or where they currently are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is such a common practice, yes, and it's necessary for them. I would say that is, um, yeah, is a must. They need to do that, yeah. Otherwise, um, um, yeah, the level that they are trying to get to and from the level they are operating, they need, together with other entrepreneurs, other people that are having struggles in their businesses, they found particular innovative solutions. So, definitely, yeah, it's a must for them and for, yeah, you said something extremely interesting I totally resonate with and, yeah, this is something that we can see in couples. Yeah, when you are staying around your partner, you tend to actually borrow pretty much everything, yeah, yeah. So, yes, the five people in our life, and I would say the partner, it's probably the first one that you're going to get influenced by the most yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is an interesting factor as well. What would you say, do you? What do you think about gratitude practice? So there's, you know, people say that that is something that can lead you to a more of a positive thinking, or that can help to switch that switch of always finding the negative things. Can you speak on that, sure?
Speaker 1:It's definitely a very good practice. It helps to observe the things that we usually take for granted. So this is why it's such a hype at the moment with this practice, because we tend to overlook the small things in our lives that probably are the most in the end. So this is one reason. Another reason for um why uh practice like this is definitely very helpful, is because, yeah, the frequency that you are going to um have in a particular day as a effect of that practice is going to be, yeah, definitely from a place of peace, from a place of um integration yeah with everything that you have in your life.
Speaker 1:You are going to not focus so much on the inner conflicts that are going through your mind, so you are going to be able to actually interact with the present moment a lot better. Yeah, otherwise, of course, those negative thoughts or that anxiety is going to kick in. Or, yeah, the fact that we use social media too much, this is going to affect our brain waves and start to be, yeah, brainwaves and start to be, yeah, we are going to start to be really agitated as a effect of that. So this is why it's helpful. This doesn't mean that gratefulness is going to do everything and is going to save people from a negative mindset. Yeah, so usually this can easily be a distraction as well. Yeah, so usually this can easily be a distraction as well.
Speaker 1:And I've seen a lot of people yeah, even some of my clients that were doing a bunch of practices, not just this one. Yeah, so meditation and then journaling, and then you know yoga, and then this and then that, and at the end of the day, they still feel like they are not satisfied, they are not happy, they feel like something is missing. So those practices can easily be a distraction, like any other distraction social media, um, yeah, shopping and other addictions that we're inclined to go towards when we don't feel at ease and in a very, you know, contained place with our emotions and thoughts, you know. So, yes, it's a very good practice and is something that is not a modern practice, it's a religion, and it's been there for forever. I would say this is probably that practice that helped a lot of people, through religion, to actually feel a little bit better, but it's not all yes.
Speaker 2:So what would you say is a good alternative to that someone who perhaps is using that as a distraction? What would you advise to be a good alternative?
Speaker 1:meditation. I would say it's a good alternative to that, especially because, um, you are not trying to change your reality in any shape or form. You are interacting with your reality the way it is and in that moment you feel anxious or distracted. This is your reality and through meditation you can interact with that reality, being fully present with, with, uh, yeah, that uh sensation in your body as a effect of what you feel and then, what are some things that you?
Speaker 2:or? Do you have phrases that you tell your clients, for example, like when they, when the negative thought pops into their head, for example, and they go back to their? You know just, we kind of revert back into our habits, right? So if we tend to be negative, we revert back to those negative thoughts. So do you have any um phrases that you use with clients to combat some of those things?
Speaker 1:I can say I have a particular phrase that I recommend them to keep in mind, but I do ask them what can be that phrase for them. So, yes, you are right. Uh, yeah, we're trying to balance that out and find something that can trigger the opposite direction. So if, if, negative thoughts are automatic in ourselves and they just pop up and we have to deal with them, we can definitely think of something that can balance that and, yeah, help the person to go in the opposite direction. So, yes, I asked them exactly this question, like what will be a particular mantra or a particular question that you can ask yourself so you can go back to the present moment.
Speaker 1:So for some of them, it might be for example, what do I need right now? It's a very good question. Yeah, they, uh. Yeah, this question helps them to interact with their body and realize what is the need that they have in this present moment. And for some of them it might be yeah, they, they can answer to that by saying, okay, I feel a little bit tired, I might need a walk or I might need a break, and this already puts them into the present moment without interacting and ruminating with that negative thought in their mind.
Speaker 1:For some of them it might be something else, like okay, I need a tea, or I need to stay with my daughter or son for five minutes, or it can be that the answer might be different from one person to another. So this is a good question. Another one it might be is this my reality right now? Yeah, so again is kind of doing the same thing interacting with the current reality, and the current reality is almost never the same as your thoughts are trying to make it sound, or look, you know, yeah, I think, if you, if you, if you manage to find that core question or that core phrase that can ring that bell for you, it's good enough.
Speaker 2:It does not need to be the same for everyone yeah, and is it interesting that I think they say 90% or so of our negative worries and fears never come to reality. Yet we spend so much time dwelling on the negative what-ifs or the negative possibilities or outcomes that never come to fruition come to fruition.
Speaker 1:It's very interesting, uh, in the same time, it's not surprising. You know, our chemistry in our body is contributing a lot to that. Yeah, so whenever we are, um, having pretty much uh like a behavior around certain things and we get used with certain thoughts, with certain scenarios, and we we never put them to sleep through working with ourselves, our body is going to get addicted by it. So every time when we wake up in the morning is almost like our body is asking for food or something that, uh, yeah, it's our body needs. So, of course, that cluster of chemicals or or that cocktail of chemicals in our body, the minute we wake up, is going to ask for a certain scenario or certain thoughts, and the thoughts are going to be linked with that sensation in our body. It's not surprising, yeah, so it's a conditioning of our body. Basically, we condition our body and our mind with any type of thoughts.
Speaker 2:It can be positive or negative, but it's conditioning so you're saying there are certain people that, or, in general, we as people are more comfortable with the way that things have been and it's a lot harder to break the barrier of where we're trying to go and if we're trying to get healthier, for example I've heard this phrase used before that, um, we are more comfortable in a familiar hell than we are an alternative heaven, right. So if there is a place that's better and we are tormenting in our current state of emotions or body or feelings or thought process, that tends to be more comfortable than finding or working towards a place of peace, and in a sense, that's why a lot of people stay in abusive relationships or in environments that are toxic for them, without recognizing that and moving to something else. So I find that very interesting, because you said that we are, your chemistry is in your body, is like familiar with that. So how do we, how do we navigate that or how do we overcome that, if that is the reality?
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, it's almost like a like a detox. It's almost for a person that is having, you know, problems with any type of addiction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it is that you say you treat it like an addiction, right?
Speaker 1:yes, yes yeah, I treat it as an addiction. It's, it's actually an addiction. Yeah, you can't really, you can't really change it in that moment. Yeah, because it's already happening, um, or how to put it in other words, but that need, that starving for that type of reaction or that type of thought or that type of reality, is going to be there no matter what. So, yeah, for a person, for example, that is having problems with alcohol, they can't stop that. Yeah, it's almost unfair to ask them to stop because their body is asking for it so much that alcohol is becoming a second nature for them, or like an extension of their personality and who they are. It's something that, yeah, it's like another hand, so to call. Yeah, so basically, they need to go in a rehab so they can slowly, slowly decondition their body to be okay without that extension or that extra yeah hand.
Speaker 1:So for, for, um, what? Yeah, for negative thoughts and in general, yeah, this conditioning in our body, those patterns that are giving us this type of reality, is pretty much the same. We need to basically go in a rehab and decondition our body. How we do that is, uh, what I prefer and what I recommend in general is for people to go to a deep like, a, like a digital detox in the beginning. This is very helpful because, yeah, at the moment, social media and our interaction with, with screens in general are contributing to, um, to what is going on in our body and is the biggest distraction, yeah, for most of people at the moment. So, uh, yeah, um, digital detox and then, yeah, slowly, slowly, interact a little bit more with your body, understand what's going on with your body, understand your sensations in the body, meditate, do, yeah, try to have activities that are going to contribute to your, yeah, to a different kind of feeling in your body and a different type of sensation in your body. So it's a slow process, but not that slow.
Speaker 1:For example, there are many retreats at the moment and one of them that I've been in this year and it was very helpful is Vipassana. I don't know if you ever heard of it. It's an Indian retreat that is running in every single country and you go there for 10 days without a phone, without anything to read or to write. You don't speak with anyone. Basically, you don't interact with with the other participants. You just meditate and, yeah, interact with yourself directly. You cannot run from yourself. So this is a good practice, so you can actually decondition your body so it's a silent retreat.
Speaker 2:It's a silent retreat, exactly. Well, and that's interesting, that you can't even write down your thoughts like you. You don't, you're not allowed to journal, like that's part of it. Yeah, it's part of it, interesting, wow. So how was?
Speaker 1:that like for you.
Speaker 2:I know 10 days. I was going to ask you about that because I know you mentioned that you did go on this silent retreat. And what was that like? To be in a place where there's other people around but you can't talk to them, you can't jot down notes, you can't read books, you know you can't listen to something, you can't be distracted by your phone or computer.
Speaker 1:What was that like for you? I was really surprised, really surprised. Everything I learned about human beings and how our mind works and everything about this domain In that retreat, it was like I integrated, I finally had the raw experience of of that. Yeah, so it was extremely surprising to see, um, how difficult is for our mind to actually do this and, um, yeah, when you don't have anything to cling on or to attach yourself to, your ego will start having particular reactions that are quite difficult to handle. And even though I knew what was going to happen, I was still surprised by the process. Happen, I was still surprised by the process. Yeah, so the good thing it was that, um, yeah, I uh didn't panic or, um, I wasn't afraid of what is going on with me in that process. So that was a good thing.
Speaker 1:But, uh, definitely, I was extremely surprised and curious how my mind is seeing this whole experience and how difficult it is actually to to be separated from all these things that are distracting ourselves. So I I just to give you an example uh, in that retreat, I uh I think I read every single bottle of shampoo ingredients and every single piece of information that they were putting on different walls. So it was very interesting how my brain was starving to read something, to interact with some kind of information, to hear someone talking, some kind of information. To hear someone talking. It was fascinating, like, yeah, it was per day, every single day. We were having one hour of theory in a way, so basically the professor would give us instructions, so that was the best thing that could happen in that day. I was really, really looking forward to that, so that was fascinating.
Speaker 2:Because you can hear the human speak right? Is that why it's like you hear someone speaking and there's some information that you're given, even though you can't interact with that correct?
Speaker 1:Yes, and even more than that intellectual, intellectual. How do you call that Entertainment? Intellectual entertainment? Oh, I got you.
Speaker 1:It's actually yeah, yeah, it's actually something that we really really need nowadays. So I wouldn't care that much about the information or what they are saying, but the fact that I could actually, I could actually think about what that person was saying. It was such a need for me so not just the fact that I was listening to another human being, but actually to think, um, to think about certain things as a effect of what I heard. Um, yeah, so basically it was, my brain was in need to interact with some kind of information, because, imagine, when you cannot talk at all and you don't hear anything for this amount of time, your brain is not fed with anything, right, you don't give anything to your brain to think of, to interact with, to, yeah, to get attached to. So it's very difficult for our ego to actually stay still and not have this type of connections with, yeah, with information yeah so it was intellectually stimulating for you.
Speaker 2:That's interesting because I feel like we live in such a time period where we're so connected to digital say the phone would be the most prevalent right that even standing in line at a grocery store or somewhere else, there is that tendency to pick up the phone because it's that quiet window of moment where you know, and so there is that tendency to just look at your phone even though there is nothing coming through. But we have become so accustomed to distracting ourself on a consistent basis that it's almost that we don't allow ourselves to have a window of to process our thoughts or even to step back and allow our bodies to feel what we feel and just to let those things settle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's probably the biggest insight I had in those 10 days. It was mind blowing for me, yeah, to interact with information, even though a lot of people, yeah, they, they are saying, and it's a valid, it's a valid point like, I'm not staying on youtube or social media just because I usually learn something, I usually listen to someone that is smarter than me. Yeah, I can get inspired by them. Yeah, so I'm not, I'm using this time properly.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's right, but it's still, yeah, um, when it comes to stimulation, when it comes to intellectual entertainment, is pretty much the same thing, because you get so much information from the outside that you never get in touch with the information that is actually within. That, most of the time, is a lot valuable. It's a lot valuable. You can help yourself, uh, with the outer information to, yeah, to help and map the inner reality better, but not to get everything from the outside, yeah, so this is such a interesting thing nowadays because people are not engaging with their inner wisdom and their inner knowledge at all. Yeah, they, they, uh, they just, um, listen to what everyone is saying, but not themselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that is true, yeah yes, and this is, uh, quite um dangerous. Uh, you, you. You asked a little bit about how we get unstuck right, and this is probably one of the biggest problems that we have. What to be stuck really means is a feeling of unclarity, uncertainty. We don't know what to do. We cannot know what to do unless we get a little bit in touch with our instincts, and when we interact so much with the information outside, we never get the chance to actually understand what we need and let this process of clarification to do its work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's so good. So you would say that's one of the things that you do recommend as a digital detox to most of your clients, correct, yes, yeah, and so how was that for you then coming back from that? Because I imagined, whenever I do a social media detox, for example, you realize how little you really need social media.
Speaker 2:You realize that you know it's like why was I always on this thing? Do I really need it as much as I think I do, you know? And it's easy to fall back into the habit too, right?
Speaker 1:So let's be real about that.
Speaker 2:Whether it's YouTube, whether it's social media, whether it's everybody has different vices, but in general it's easy for us to fall back into those habits. But when you step away from those habits whether it's sugar, whether it's something else you realize that you know, I actually feel better without these things that are, you know, detrimental to my emotional wellbeing, whether it's your health or whatnot, and and you need less of that, then you know you may not have your cookie cravings If you did a sugar detox on a daily basis at three o'clock every day anymore.
Speaker 2:It's like oh you know, or you may need not need that glass of wine every evening, cause you realize that you can do without it. And of course you know, depending on the level of addiction, you might need professional help, and this isn't a substitute for that, of course, of course. But I think that it's interesting because when I do a digital detox, I tend to want to read more, and that's probably with the informational like lack of information right.
Speaker 2:And I tend to learn more things. I tend to get more in touch with myself and journal and process a lot more internally than I do when I'm constantly fed information. And, similar to you probably, I don't like to follow or be on social media for entertainment purposes. I like to follow people who are educational and so on and so forth and friends and things like that, but at the the end of the day, that is a huge distraction to actually living our intentional lives and where we're trying to go and, um yeah, so I think that that's an interesting point that you bring up about the digital detox yeah, yes and um.
Speaker 1:This is exactly, you know, when you are coming out of a detox like this, that realization. It will help you actually to understand what you need in the future and how you can get back to that intentional living. Because intentional living does not mean that we are getting to that. You know um level in which we are intentional all the time and we are having an amazing mindset all the time. Of course not. We are going to interact with our environment and fall back into certain habits, but this is not a problem.
Speaker 1:This doesn't mean that we were quitting or we are not able to be consistent with what we want. Not at all. Yeah, it's just the way our mind is going to interact with the environment, especially nowadays when there are a lot more distractions. So by actually doing this is going to create um safety kit, if you like, for the future. So whenever you are going to feel out of balance, whenever you are going to feel like things are not clicking, you are not in touch anymore with what you really want, you feel stuck all things or not clear about certain things, you'll know what to do. But when you don't have that reality or understanding, when you don't have that experience then, yes, it's a lot more difficult to actually know that this is possible.
Speaker 2:And so was that kind of hard for you coming back into it, or did you realize like some of the habits and some of the things that you wanted to adjust like in your lifestyle coming out of your the silent retreat?
Speaker 1:for me, it wasn't necessarily difficult to process what was going on in that retreat, especially because I was asking for this type of experience for a long time so.
Speaker 1:I kind of I resonated from the first day. So I truly understand what, what is going on in the process. But this doesn't mean that my, for my brain and for my whole being, it wasn't a, you know, huge challenging. Yeah, in the challenge exactly. But I had that experience many times ago, many, many years ago. So I had an experience in which I realized that, oh, actually, I'm not the story in my mind and I can easily separate myself from the social media environment, yeah, things that I don't need in my life. So I had that experience a little bit spontaneous.
Speaker 1:I don't know what really triggered that, but from that point I wanted to actually find a way to do this in a structured manner. So when I actually understood what a retreat like this can actually do for us, like this can actually do for, uh, for us, um, I was uh, you know, uh, resonating. And when I was going back like, okay, this was a good experience and uh, um, yeah, I would like to, yeah, keep the habit of meditating, keep the habit of staying a little bit away from social media once a week or once a month for an extended period of time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are good practices to adapt into. So is there anything else, before we wrap up, that you would like to share, to just kind of help someone navigate and how to get the help that they need in order to overcome some of those mindsets?
Speaker 1:Going to the roots, really. So everything we've talked about until now in Svetka is really about going to the roots. It's not rocket science. You don't need a lot of information for that is just about disponibility and allowing yourself to actually remove yourself from certain contexts that are not helpful and they feed that chemistry in your body. Yeah, so this is something that whoever are listening to, whoever is listening to our podcast, they can easily do that, even in their own homes. They can remove a little bit from those contexts and after that, going to the basics is going to be a natural process. As they interact a little bit more with their instincts, as they interact a little bit more with their bodies, they will immediately know what they need. So they maybe need a little bit, you know, to change this habit right here or to change a particular thought in their mind. Their inner wisdom is going to walk them towards this process in a very natural way. So I wouldn't necessarily worry about that. This is going to come as you are available to this kind of inner process.
Speaker 1:After that, what I would add to this idea of going back to roots is to be able to observe that the moment this process is going to start and you are a lot more in touch with your body. Start and you are a lot more in touch with your body. The energy, the vital energy that is going to be there as an effect of you removing yourself from those contexts is going to start to come to the surface. So the person will have a lot more mental energy, with a lot more energy in their body that will help them with healing if they are having any type of physical problem, right. So this vital energy that is going to come as a effect of this process, it can be easily directed towards what they really want in life. So we can talk about intentional living, in my eyes, only at this point, when you actually have energy for those uh, yeah, for that type of process. So, of course, in that moment, when you observe that you have a lot more energy into your body and you are understanding things a little bit better it's exactly what you said.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you're coming out of that retreat, you wanted to read a little bit more and you did not want to interact with social media as much and you were engaging in this slow process.
Speaker 1:Yeah, people are talking about slow cooking like it's a very good thing for our health. It's again the same thing with information slow reading, for example, yeah, as a um, as a in the opposite of, you know, scrolling on social media and listening to audio books and whatever, yeah, so slow process. Basically, whenever the person is going to get that kind of vitality and energy into their bodies, it's a lot more easier to get unstuck, to go towards their goals, to make plans that are going to be achievable and to have the energy so they can go towards that. Their mindset is going to be a lot better improved and, uh, yeah, their, their thoughts that were negative will not have a lot of room to grow in in that kind of body. When you are strong in your body, strong in your mind, strong in your spirit, those negative thoughts cannot appear as much, because it's, yeah, negative thoughts is like when you, when your immunity system is going down, yeah, when you are tired, when you haven't eaten enough, you haven't slept yeah of course, your immunity system is going to drop.
Speaker 1:It's pretty much the same with negative thoughts. When you haven't allowed yourself to connect with your body, to understand what you need, to remove yourself from contexts that are distracting you and make you inclined to have a negative reality, those thoughts are going to grow. You are going to interact a lot more with them and consume a lot of energy, them and consume a lot of energy. Yeah, I think this is uh. This is all I would recommend because it's so effective and it was effective for such a long time. It's not saying something new in this podcast, it's just uh. It's just about remembering what was always there that was working for everyone, no matter if, yeah, you know about personal development and if you've read a lot of books and if you've I don't know done sophisticated things, this is working for everyone.
Speaker 2:Back to the basics, right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's interesting that you brought slow cooking it's like there is there is a trend in our modern world to slow down because we have just developed such a high pace of life. Everything is to go, everything is quick. The videos, now they. You know you can't even watch a 10 minute video. It's got to be within 30 seconds, get the message across really fast. So it's like, okay, what's the video? And then you're just like feeding yourself these junk food and then we're wondering why we have so much anxiety. We're so stressed that we can't even sit alone with our thoughts. So it's yeah, I love that you, you bring that digital detox, and I do. I mean, there's a lot of, there's an uptick of even creating spaces for young people. That has no phones and that type of thing.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I heard of that. Actually, it's quite a trend in the US at the moment. There are communities that are not using those modern phones anymore.
Speaker 2:Really Okay. Yeah, I don't think I've heard that yet. Um so I just usually wrap up my podcast by asking a few questions, and one of them is what is the bravest thing Ionica has ever done besides? Going on a silent retreat, because that's pretty brave, I'd say to not talk for like 10 days. You said that's crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah um, well, I've been in many retreats so before they were having, of course, different purposes, but I would say that this one, it was probably the more fascinating for me, okay.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, the bravest thing I would say that I ever done into my life.
Speaker 1:You know, the moment I realized that I need to clean up my space, and here I mean you know my physical space, my relationships, so the relationship I have with myself, the relationship I have with my parents, so all those different things that were clearly giving me a lot of conflict, a lot of, yeah, a lot of unease, the minute I realized that the bravest thing I've done it was to actually understand what was going on and, for the people that were still alive, to actually give them a phone and a call, yeah, and talk to them.
Speaker 1:So I was having people in my life that I did not speak for years, some of them even from my childhood, people that at some point I got in conflict with or I had. You know, we haven't resonated or we, yeah, something was going on in that relationship. So I made a list of these people and I was starting to call them one by one, and that was such a difficult process, like I would say that that was the bravest thing I ever done to actually call these people and speak with them from the bottom of my heart, be extremely vulnerable with them and sharing exactly how I felt and recognize them for what they brought into my life and understanding that I was being able to extract as the effect of what I experienced with them.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's powerful. That must have been so easy. You must have had so much peace after. I mean, the process wasn't easy, I'm not saying that, but you must have felt such ease afterwards of just this weight being lifted off, because all the unresolved things were now, you know, different yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, it's probably the most powerful thing I ever done, like not even in therapy. Yeah, you can get that sense of peace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. That's so good.
Speaker 1:What is the best advice that someone gave you not giving my power away and always filter everything that I hear, everything that I take from authorities to filter, to filter it for myself, yeah, and not give that power away. So, yeah, I realized that at a certain point in time, and probably this is the best advice that I give to myself, and probably I heard it before, but it never clicked up until the moment I realized this for myself.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. Well, Anika, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate you spending time with us and just the value that you brought to the audience. I'm sure people are really going to benefit from listening to this podcast and this episode. Where can people find you?
Speaker 1:Well on social media, now that we've talked about Now. We told you to stay away from it yeah, so, um, my services at the moment are um, are on a platform, on fiverr, it's a. It's a platform for entrepreneurs, so this is the easiest way that people can find me. Uh, but yes, other than that, on linkedin, um ionica busna dot, linkedin, whatever. So, yeah, with my name, basically on facebook the same and instagram the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah and what's your instagram handle? Uh ionica dot busna, then that's b-a-z-n-a for exactly, yeah, yeah exactly, okay, awesome. Well, thank you so much. Uh, what an honor it is to for you to come on here and share your thoughts with us it was a real pleasure.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for for the invitation. Uh, it's that kind of yeah, I really hope people that are listening will implement some of this because, yeah, they will probably understand really quick that they can easily do this and, yeah, the steps are just very handy. They can easily do that for a better life.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to the Once we Dare podcast. It is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you for listening to the Once we Dare podcast, it is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you enjoy the show, I would love for you to tell your friends. Leave us a review rating and subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, because this helps others discover the show. You can find me on my website, svekapopovcom.