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THE ONES WHO DARED PODCAST Elevating stories of courage. You can listen to some of the most interesting stories of courage, powerful life lessons, and aha moments. Featuring interviews with leaders, pioneers and people who have done hard things. I hope these stories help pave the path for you to live out your courageous life.
THE ONES WHO DARED
Navigating the Fourth Trimester with Rachel Taylor: Essential Insights for Postpartum Recovery
Navigating the Fourth Trimester with Rachel Taylor: Essential Insights for Postpartum Recovery
Postpartum recovery is far more than a six-week checkup—it's a profound physical, emotional, and spiritual transformation that deserves greater care and attention. In this episode, we’re joined by Rachel Taylor, a registered nurse with 15 years of experience in mother-baby care and author of After Baby Comes: Physical, Spiritual and Emotional Recovery for Postpartum Moms.
Rachel shares powerful insights into the often-overlooked fourth trimester, offering hope and practical wisdom for new mothers navigating this tender season. We discuss:
- Why postpartum is a transition, not a permanent state
- How to distinguish baby blues from postpartum depression and anxiety
- The truth about physical recovery timelines and why it takes longer than six weeks
- Simple yet powerful practices like diaphragmatic breathing to aid healing
- How spiritual rhythms can shift in this season without guilt
- The importance of community and creating a “how you can help me” list before birth
- Why you are uniquely designed to be the mother your child needs
If you’re in the postpartum season—or love someone who is—you’ll walk away feeling seen, supported, and equipped.
Find Rachel’s book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, or ChristianBook.com, and connect with her at mamadidit.com or on Instagram @mamadiditofficial for more encouragement and resources.
-Links-
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postpartum, those first three months can feel very lonely, can feel very sad or emotional, and not everybody experiences it that way, but a majority do. And so it's just this time of knowing like, okay, I had a baby, like my brain is changing, my body is changing, my relationship is changing, like a lot is changing, there's a transition happening, but it's not a bad thing, like all of these things be better on the other side and knowing that it's temporary too.
Speaker 2:Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dare podcast, where stories of courage are elevated. I'm your host, becca, and every other week you'll hear interviews from inspiring people. My hope is that you will leave encouraged. I'm so glad you're here, rachel Taylor, welcome to the Once With your Podcast. I'm so honored to be interviewing you today.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for having me. It is an honor to be here and talk to you about all of this.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for having me it is an honor to be here and talk to you about all of this. Yeah, so you are a registered nurse, a childbirth educator, a mom of three with over 15 years of experience in mother-baby nursing, and you have dedicated your career to supporting mothers through the often overlooked fourth trimester, which is the postpartum period following childbirth. And I'm really excited to dig into your book your recent release called After Baby Comes Physical, spiritual and Emotional Recovery the Postpartum Moms, which serves as a comprehensive guide to navigating the challenges of postpartum recovery, and I really believe that this is a subject that isn't talked about enough because we have a baby, it's just there's a lot of excitement around that. There's baby showers beforehand and we have the meal trains to help us, just kind of support us through that. But then there's just this period that some others struggle with of postpartum, and I am so excited that you get to be a voice in this field and so, yeah, thank you so much for coming on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you. Yes, this is a dream come true for me, just to be able to write a book, like from my experience of being a bedside nurse. You know, not, not everybody gets that opportunity. It's like, oh, to do that for 15 years. You know, actually be able to help new moms is just such an honor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and can you share a little bit about what inspired you to write this book after baby comes?
Speaker 1:Yes. So the seed kind of got planted, as I'll call it, after my first baby. So I was a registered nurse. I worked in labor and delivery, postpartum nursing, post C-section, all that kind of stuff, and had this just belief of you know, postpartum is going to be a breezy experience. I know what to do, I teach this stuff.
Speaker 1:And then a few weeks in I had a moment of just oh, my goodness, this is so hard. I had a moment of just oh, my goodness, this is so hard. And if I'm struggling like this, how do other new moms do this that do not have my background? And so from there on, just taking care of new mothers, there was this common theme that I kept getting, and it was they would look at me before discharge and say, can I just take you home with me? Or now, who do I call now if I need help? And it just had me like, okay, we do a really good job of helping in pregnancy, helping for birth, you know, prepare moms and give them resources. And then we get to postpartum and it's kind of like here you go, here's this baby, good luck. You know there's this need Moms really need a resource where they're not Googling at three o'clock in the morning, you know, trying to find answers for themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. That's so such a valid point because, like you said, it's you feel like you're almost on your own, because there's all the support that pours in the beginning, and then there's this period of like people pull away and get busy and you're just with the baby, and especially if postpartum is something that is difficult for you, everybody experiences it in a different form. But I'd like to hear from you of how would you describe the fourth trimester and why is it crucial for new mothers?
Speaker 1:So I would, if I could only use one word, I would probably say transition, just because there's this huge transition, almost like not to sound cheesy, but almost like a caterpillar that changes into a butterfly. You know, you kind of enter that dark cocoon. For many mothers mothers postpartum those first three months can feel very lonely, can feel very sad or emotional, and not everybody experiences it that way, but a majority do. And so it's just this time of knowing like okay, I had a baby, like my brain is changing, my body is changing, my relationship is changing, like a lot is changing, there's a transition happening, but it's not a bad thing, like all these things be better. On the other side, and knowing that it's temporary too.
Speaker 1:I think there's this popular saying going going around that I don't totally agree with, but it's, postpartum is forever, and that can be. That can be very discouraging for a mom who is in postpartum because she hears that and thinks, oh, my goodness, am I going to feel like this forever? And I know what they mean. You know they mean motherhood is forever, but postpartum is forever. It's meant to be a transition time, you know. And so just letting new moms know if you are experiencing it is hard, it is like you know. No shame in that it can be very hard, but it does get better. It is temporary, it passes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so what is the difference between just experiencing postpartum as your typical trimester, four trimester, or experiencing postpartum depression and postpartum blues, as some call it? How would you define the difference? For someone who's maybe trying to navigate, like, am I just experiencing the normal transition and signs of just postpartum, post-birth, or am I actually in a place that I may need to get help? Or really experiencing postpartum depression, like where's the fine line At the Once For A Year podcast? Giving back is part of our mission, which is why we proudly sponsor Midwest Food Bank. Here's why Midwest Food Bank Pennsylvania distributes over $25 million worth of food annually, completely free of charge, to over 200 nonprofit partners across PA, new York and New Jersey, reaching more than 330,000 people in need. Through their volunteer driven model and innovative food rescue programs, they turn every single dollar donated into $30 worth of food. Now, that's amazing. Join us in supporting this cause. To learn more or to give, go to MidwestFoodBankorg slash Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's a great question. So baby blues is considered just kind of the upheaval after birth. It usually lasts about three weeks. Statistically speaking, we see about 80% of moms experience baby blues and it's important to note that's not a disorder Like that's not something that's going on that you need treatment for. That's really just again a transitional time where hormones are going up and down and we're not getting a lot of sleep. You know a lot of things are going on right then. So we say, just as medical professionals like, give it about three weeks to let that kind of level out after birth and it usually does If after three weeks moms are still experiencing just a lot of upheaval, lots of emotions or just really not feeling like themselves, sometimes we begin looking at okay, is this postpartum depression, is this postpartum anxiety?
Speaker 1:I think it's important to note too a is this postpartum depression? Is this postpartum anxiety? I think it's important to note too. A lot of times postpartum anxiety comes first. We kind of just tend to lump those two together. They are a little bit different.
Speaker 1:Postpartum anxiety is that feeling of like needing to mess with your fingers all the time, or that elephant in your chest, and even for postpartum moms it can look like intrusive thoughts. So you know, to an extent intrusive thoughts are normal in postpartum. We get them because of brain plasticity, that vigilance we feel as moms to keep our babies safe. But they become an issue when they feel traumatizing or we just can't shake those thoughts. You know, a lot of times that's postpartum anxiety that we're experiencing and then sometimes, after postpartum anxiety, if it's not treated, if we're not dealing with those things, we move into postpartum depression and that's more of a numb. You know, I don't care. Kind of feeling doesn't matter. You know those feelings. At that point it's like okay, we're probably dealing with this problem depression. Now we need to maybe get some therapy, maybe get some medication that's safe for baby too, if mom's breastfeeding, and help her kind of ease out of out of all this yeah, and when you say intrusive thoughts, can you expand on that?
Speaker 2:what are some things that could possibly come up that you're referring to as intrusive thoughts?
Speaker 1:Yes. So one common one that I hear moms deal with a lot is like if they have stairs in their house and they're walking down the stairs with their baby, they'll all of a sudden have these thoughts of what if I drop my baby down the stairs? You know, it's like these, these unrealistic thoughts that she's not, she's not going to drop her baby down the stairs. You know it's safest place Mama's arms. But it's like these thoughts and it scares new moms. It's like wait a minute, like where did that come from? Could that happen? Am I going to do that? And they begin to ask these questions. Usually those thoughts, you know they come and go. You just if you can let them go well, that was kind of, you know, odd, that's not doesn't. And move on, um, that's, that's normal. You're coping with postpartum. If you can't move on from the thoughts and they just continue to come, you're feeling a lot of fear.
Speaker 2:That's the anxiety yeah, and is there? Is there some other thoughts that could come up, as well as someone who may be experiencing like a higher level of anxiety?
Speaker 1:Oh yes. So there's a huge range and it really just depends on the person. But it it could be, throw my baby into this cabinet. You know I'm always hesitant to like name lots of thoughts because I don't want moms to be like I have a postpartum therapist friend that she will often help new moms and one of the thoughts these moms will have will be am I sexually abusing my baby when I change their diaper? And the answer is no, absolutely not. But that can be what postpartum anxiety looks like. It's those thoughts that somehow you are harming or going to harm your baby when it's just simply not true. That's like not what you do, it's not who you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really interesting and it's interesting that you have that insight from a postpartum therapist who that's that's a beautiful connection to have there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know a few in my line of work. You get to know, you know these people around you who are also kind of running that same race.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. How can recognizing this period impact mother's recovery and well-being?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yes, so just past we've kind of focused on six weeks. You know, postpartum is six weeks and I don't even know that we we meant to do that. You know I'm speaking like from the medical field perspective. I don't think we even meant to do that necessarily. But there is one postpartum visit is six weeks. If you had a C-section you get two visits postpartum. And so I think we inadvertently put this emphasis on okay, six weeks and you're good to go.
Speaker 1:There's just so much pressure on that. One visit and the OB doctors will come in and they'll check everything. Okay, you're good to go, you can do whatever you want. And a lot of times moms will will think OK, so I can exercise like I used to or I can go be with my husband like I used to. It's all going to be the same. Actually, your, your body is healing for months and months, sometimes years. Your mind is still healing for four months as well. And then your hormones. We know just through research that a lot of times it takes up to two years for your hormones to reset after birth. And so this whole like rush, you're good at six weeks, bounce back. You know that we see in culture it's just really unrealistic and that can be harmful for new moms especially, you know, who don't know to think well, why is everybody else doing well? And I'm still struggling over here, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's such a good point and having that pressure of that six week period, it's almost like, okay, this is when you should be feeling at your peak, at your best, and you're moving on, like you mentioned, whether it's intimacy with your spouse or, you know, getting back in the gym or whatever it is that normal looks like after six weeks for some people.
Speaker 2:But that pressure could be really just, you know, overwhelming for moms who actually need the grace period to be able to have that time. And in some cultures, as you may know, post childbirth they have months of recovery and care and there is no pressure to go back to work at six weeks. You know, and I mean I've had a situation where at one of my jobs I was actually told, not directly by the company but indirectly through the manager, that if I don't come back within six weeks I won't have my job back, and so those kind of pressures that are really real for moms. It's hard and you start to feel like you're pulled into a million pieces. You know everybody wants a piece of you, whether it's your job. If you're going back to work, your baby needs you. If you have other kids, you need to take care of them, and then there's your husband and your home responsibilities, and it can feel like a lot.
Speaker 1:Yes, it can. And just being needed all the time, I think that's a really good way that you said it. You are needed everywhere and that can be exhausting, even moms. They can experience this rage thing and I talk about that in my book but it looks like rage on the outside but really it's so much overstimulation just from being needed everywhere you know, all the time needing that break.
Speaker 1:But, yes, other countries. I'm loving what I see happening there and I'm hoping it's it's coming over here more and more. I know many cultures. You know they have that 40 day rest where they don't. Mama's really their job is to rest, recover and feed their baby and that's it. Family takes care of everything else. They just can recover. And what a blessing that would be, yeah, Not have that pressure of got to get up, I got to get going, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. What are some common physical challenges that mothers face after childbirth that you find?
Speaker 1:So it can be. If you have a vaginal birth, it's really hard to sit down, you know, for a couple of weeks without pain. We tell our moms, rest when you can like, lay on your side or on your back. When you can rest, give your bottom a total break. But even if you have a tear, an episiotomy, something like that, you may be sore sitting down for months. It can take months for all of that to go away. And so mom's just being aware like you need to make some accommodations for yourself, whether that's a little like boppy pillow that you sit on that relieves that pressure off of your bottom. You need to have like ice packs available, lidocaine cream all the way, because it numbs things, you know, yes, it's so helpful, even if it's for an hour. Things like ibuprofen, just over the counter, you know, crampy for cramps, and heat packs for cramps, and all that Just knowing, hey, this is not permanent, but I'm going to be sore for a little bit. I just birthed a baby, I birthed a human, and then my C-section.
Speaker 1:Moms, just that incision too. I think for them the big thing is they forget a C-section is major abdominal surgery because they're so focused on their baby and that's like the most motherhood thing ever right, Like she had surgery and is trying to recover and she's like, no, I didn't have surgery, I'm taking care of this baby, but that's the big thing for them. It's like that's a big deal. You need time to rest and recover. You need to be taking your pain medicine. You know all of those things that are that are helping you and remembering okay, this, this is a big deal. I had surgery. You know I need lots of grace.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love some of those tips that you gave for managing pain. Is there other things that moms can do to manage their pain or just manage the different body changes that are going on at that time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you can start. You know, after giving birth your ribs are a little bit out of place and your abdominal muscles have typically split a little bit. That's a normal. We call it diastasis recti. That's kind of become a buzzword here lately, but that's a normal change that takes place in pregnancy. So your body really is a little bit out of sorts after you give birth. It's supposed to be. We made room, you know, for this baby and so focusing on very intentional breath work can help, like diaphragmatic breathing I talk about that in the book Just doing simple, like bridges, things like that and I go into detail too if aren't familiar with those things but just to reconnect with your body again.
Speaker 1:No exercise, nothing major, anything like that, but that begins to help your physical body really heal and recover again. You know, as you're dealing with all the other things, the bottom recovery and that, that kind of stuff too. But I find that moms that put in a little bit of intentional work through breath work, that sort of thing, five minutes a day, nothing, nothing major, but they tend to feel more like themselves again, faster.
Speaker 2:Would you actually mind walking us through a quick breath work exercise for those moms who may be like, please tell me what this is so I can practice it at home. I know we won't do it for five minutes, but just to kind of give us an example.
Speaker 1:Yes, so diaphragmatic breathing is also called belly breathing. So you're really trying to kind of take your upper body out of it and really put your tummy and your ribs into it. So when you diaphragmatic breathe, when you take the inhale breath, you're really trying to push your tummy out like you're filling your belly up with air and then when you exhale you're bringing everything back into you. So we'll, we'll, we'll try to practice together. So on that inhale, deep breath in our belly filling out, and then on the exhale, we're just drawing everything back in towards our belly button, our spine, all of that. And it can actually take a little bit of practice, because most of us don't breathe this way. It took me a little bit. I'm like, okay, this feels counterintuitive to actually do it this way, but that's what's helping. Everything is stretching, everything is pulling it back in and just training us once again like, okay, let's, let's tap into our parasympathetic nervous system, which is our calm, you know, calm, recovery nervous system, and let's connect our body again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that. How can you mothers navigate the emotional?
Speaker 1:highs and lows of postpartum, because I think this is a really big one. Yes, I think, first, being aware that there are going to be highs and there are going to be lows, and that it's normal if you experience like pressure off, um, I think there's so much pressure. I know I felt a lot of pressure as a new mom, a nurse, with the things I did, like recovery should be easy. And when it wasn't easy, when I struggled with breastfeeding and I did that for a living with other moms, you know, when I struggled with my bottom, healing all those things, my baby wasn't sleeping I felt a lot of shame. You know I carried that shame and just the belief of it's easy for for other new moms. But it's not, you know, and I have found that a lot of new moms feel that way, but they don't always voice that because they're afraid they're going to be alone. You know, like, like it is real, like I am the only one struggling, and she's doing and just knowing right off the bat, like, okay, if you're struggling, it's normal, no shame, no reason for shame. We all struggle in some ways.
Speaker 1:You know, postpartum um, realizing that at first and then knowing that when you have lows, like I would encourage new moms to talk about those lows, like if, hopefully, you have a support person, a husband, somebody that's very understanding and loving.
Speaker 1:But I've often had to coach new moms, like go see a therapist, you know, because they will. They will go to their spouse and they'll say, hey, I think I have postpartum anxiety or I think I'm dealing with postpartum depression, and they'll be met with this oh no, you're fine, you know, kind of a thing. And and I believe it's because spouses feel that that actually reflects on, like, their performance, you know, if he's struggling, then they must be failing at something and that is absolutely not the case typically, you know. So if spouses are listening, I would just encourage, like, if she does come to you with these concerns, like, yeah, absolutely Go call your OB, you know, call, call a therapist, let's get you in, make sure you're doing okay, you know, just encourage her in that. But sometimes if she doesn't have that support, you know, she just needs to call anyway. And just, I hate that they have to do it on their own sometimes, but sometimes you do, you have to advocate for yourself, you know, and go anyway.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's also why it's so important to have community around you, right? If you can talk to other moms who are open and honest about their experiences, you'll find out that you really are not alone. And a lot of us, when we go through these stages, we experience the same things, where we feel like we're not good enough, we're not doing it right, that we're failing in some ways and that, but at the same time, we're not alone and so, like you said, so many people think the same thing, but afraid to voice it, to sound like I am the only incompetent, incapable one, and yet it's like, hey, the mom next to you feels the same way. If you just talk and like, oh, me too, me too, you know.
Speaker 1:I think it's like a funny example. But even like stretch marks, like we feel like we may be the only ones who have stretch marks, like nobody else deals with that ever. And research shows us like about one in two have stretch marks after birth it's about 50 percent. So same with moms who are struggling with other things like we, we tend to feel alone or isolated, like we are the only person and it's just not true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. What role does spirituality play in the recovery process?
Speaker 1:So I believe we are three parts we are spirit, soul and body and that it's really hard to separate those parts. I don't know if it's possible. I feel like when one part is affected, every part is going to be affected in some way, and so if you are a person of faith, just realizing that becomes an issue. If you neglect that, I know that many moms they will tell me. You know I feel like God's mad at me because I'm not spending time with him like I used to. God is not upset with you for being in a new season of your life.
Speaker 1:Like he understands, I totally get the feeling, but also no, that's not what's going on, you know yeah, being aware, the same way that you may be able to squeeze in a five-minute shower, you know kind of thing, um, you may need to just squeeze in a five-minute chapter that you read in the bible, or a song you sing when you rock your baby, you know a worship, a worship song. All of that counts. I think I just want new moms to know that counts, like you're not going to bukus of time when you have a newborn, just to hang out with the Lord in the way that maybe you used to, and just being aware it may look different and he's not upset with you for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a really good point. Can you share some practices that help moms feel connected and supported during this time?
Speaker 1:Yes. So if I would first say that if you have a local hospital you delivered at, maybe a neighborhood group you know Facebook has made neighborhood groups really popular. That's a plus. But finding a place that you can actually go to with you and your baby Again, postpartum can feel so lonely and just getting out taking that step, you know being with other people.
Speaker 1:I know a lot of hospitals in Birmingham, where I'm from. They have lactation support groups. Where you go you meet with other moms and a lactation consultant so you can talk about breastfeeding and get all the help you need. There it's a free group Postpartum support groups. You know they offer that sort of thing through the hospital. So I would say, if you're not sure where to look, check your local hospitals first and if that's not available, check the neighborhood groups.
Speaker 1:A mommy and me group I'm trying to think of some others that I've heard about. Sometimes local churches will have some groups that meet at their places too, but that would be a great start. It's just making sure that you're building some community as you again, you're in this new season of life. It can look different. Friendships may look different. You may notice. You know, I thought these people would be here for me through this season of life and instead it feels really distant, you know. So just putting forth a little effort to get out and build a new normal yeah, yeah, that's great, I love that what other advice do you have for mothers who are feeling overwhelmed or just isolated in that season?
Speaker 1:Because it can feel really isolating and, again, just reaching out for help where you can. It can be just so tempting to. Well, I'm a burden. Everybody's busy, you know, putting forth the effort if we need to, because we can have these expectations of everybody's going to come, everybody's going to help us. You had mentioned mill trains and those are always so great, but a lot of times that initial help will happen and then it's, it's crickets, you know, and we're still recovering and we're like wait a minute, you know, and sometimes it does take us reaching out and and hopefully we have those other people and if, if you're listening, and you are a friend or a family member or somebody like that, taking that step for them, hey, why don't we go to coffee today? I'll pick you up, bring baby, you know, and just giving them that outlet where they're not having to make all the decisions themselves, that can be so helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was going to be my next questions about how to partners and family members and friends help better support the fourth trimester.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a great question.
Speaker 1:I think being there is really important, being intentional, asking how can I help. I had a conversation with a mom who's a soon-to-be grandmother and she had put these words together I thought was so beautiful. She said you know, I'm the mother-in-law. She said and so my daughter-in-law is very kind, and I could just foresee that she's never going to tell me like no, you don't need to do that, or I don't want you to come over, you know those kinds of things. And she said I think I'm going to give her permission to set boundaries with me. Wow, that's beautiful, because I totally get that. Like I'm the more soft spoken, you know kind of person and I thought that's, that's it right there, like to give those kinds of people permission. Like you, you were allowed to set boundaries with me. I want you to, I want you to tell me when you need help. You know, if I say can I bring you dinner, I want you to say, yes, here's what I'm craving, you know, so I can bring it.
Speaker 1:Just being there and being intentional, asking questions, and if you can tell she's really struggling, like there was a couple who the mom felt so vigilant over her baby which again is a normal part of postpartum.
Speaker 1:But she felt like everybody was going to do it wrong if she didn't do it herself. But she was also very exhausted and so at one point she was yelling at her baby, you know, because her baby was screaming and so mom had lost it. She was screaming, they were both screaming, and the dad walks in and said mom had lost it. She was screaming, they were both screaming, and the dad walks in and said give me the baby. And so she hands the baby over to him and said go shower or go lay down, do what you need to. And he walked off with the baby and I was like you know, sometimes we just have trouble saying I need help right now. Yeah, we do this. You know, you need that moment where somebody just steps in and goes I've got the baby, go take a shower or whatever it is. You know that's so helpful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and let's talk about this and I've heard this before too, and I love that people bring this up when someone's going through postpartum, when someone's grieving, when someone needs help in whatever it is that they're going through, instead of saying, hey, let me know if you need anything, you know, create a list of things they can choose from, such as hey, select one of these, I'd love to be here for you in this time. Let me know if you'd like, A, for me to drop off a meal. B, if you'd like to, you know, hang out with me. Or if you want me to come over and do your laundry, or you know. So on and so forth.
Speaker 2:So it's giving them options instead of like, hey, I checked in, I did my part, I checked off the box of checking in with you and saying I'm your friend or I'm your, you know, here for you, I'm your support, If you need anything, let me know. Because, as we know, chances are we're not going to be like, yeah, actually, please help me with doing my laundry, Please bring me a meal. Like that just feels a little like asking for too much when you're in that spot. Is that right?
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, I love that. Yes, so I will tell I teach pregnant moms all about childbirth and all of that, and so I'll tell them, like the end of the third trimester, 36 weeks around, that time is a great time to create a list of how you can help me list things like walk my dog, you know, if you have, you know, change my other child's clothes. They probably worn the same thing for two dog. You know, if you have, you know, change my other shows clothes. They probably weren't the same thing for two days. You know, whatever it may be. But going ahead and creating that list, because if we wait until postpartum, you know our, our brain is fried and we're exhausted and people will say, how can I help you? And you're just like, I'm good, you know, you just don't even know what to say at that point. So I love that idea.
Speaker 1:I love the list idea.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean sometimes I mean I know that I felt like kind of like a walking zombie, because you're waking up every couple hours to nurse the baby, you're tired, the baby's crying, sometimes you know how, what to do, sometimes you don't you know, and then you're dealing with all the pain in your body post birth. So there's so much going on that you're just not able to rest like you need to and, as we know, when we're not rested well, we just aren't thinking clearly and you know emotions rise up and so many things happen from that, just not simply just the fact of not having enough rest, not including the hormones and everything else that's going on.
Speaker 1:Yes, all the things yeah.
Speaker 2:What is the one message that you hope that every mother takes away from your book?
Speaker 1:That she was designed for this, that she's going to do it well, is designed for this, that she's going to do it well. You know, I think it's such a common thread that moms struggle with. Am I being a good mother? Am I the best mom to these babies? You know, oh, my gosh, I messed up today. I raised my boys. I could have been more intentional.
Speaker 1:You know, whatever it is, oftentimes we're our own worst critics. You know, when mothers and just postpartums, just the beginning of that entry into motherhood, you know, and we're finding our feet and our wings and all of those sorts of things. But just knowing that you are the mom that God designed for your children he did not make mistakes in that and that all of your strengths and also your weaknesses were exactly what he designed to help your children become who they're going to become. And so, as best you can, just to be free in knowing that and embrace who you are and what you do as a mom and postpartum, and how you're healing, no matter how quick or long that's taking, you know, just to let yourself be be at peace.
Speaker 2:That is so good. I wish I would have told myself that when I was going through postpartum, because I think when my kids were little and especially, I just felt like I was always falling short and I think if I was to go back to my younger self, I would be like you have everything it takes to be there for your kids, like you really truly do. I mean, I remember reading like 20 books at a time, feeling so overwhelmed because I just felt like I don't have. What other people have.
Speaker 2:I, you know, like you were saying in the interview, is that other people are doing it better than me and they haven't figured out and I'm somehow behind and I don't know what I'm doing and I'm trying my best, but I just feel like I'm falling short and all that anxiety and stress and your own thoughts just kind of really can play tricks on you. But just to say, like you have what it takes, you're the right woman for the job. Give yourself grace and space and also, if you can take some time to take care of you, like take a bath, if you can take a break, take a long hot shower or whatever it is and and so that you can kind of live in a bit of sanity in the middle of the crazy season To go on that point too.
Speaker 1:like with my first baby, there was a time that he was crying so hard and they're going to, you know, from time to time and I had done everything like and I share this story in classes that I teach because moms don't realize this but he was, he was crying at everything I did. He had been fed and changed and I tried to take him outside and you know all the things you go down the checklist for that and he was still just so upset and I remember putting him in his bouncy seat and sitting on the floor beside him and just sobbing and he was crying and I was crying and my husband came in the room and he said what's going on? I'm his mom, I should know what to do. And it actually surprised me that that came out of my mouth.
Speaker 1:And as soon as I said I went oh my gosh, like there's the belief that I should be doing this mom thing perfect and that I'm failing if I don't know exactly what he needs or how to comfort him in the moment. And I was like man, this just simply isn't true. Like there are going to be moments where I'm not going to know what to do and I'm going to do my best. And the baby doesn't know what they need either. You know, it's not like they know, and it's just that process of you give yourself grace for the journey because you're learning and they're learning. But again, like you said, you have what it takes, you're the right mom for this and if you need a moment where they're sitting in a bouncy seat and you're crying beside them, absolutely, you know, makes you a normal mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, you know, makes you a normal mom. Yeah, absolutely. And I think too, when you embrace and walk in the confidence that you have what it takes and you're the right person for the job, it serves your child so much better than walking in that insecurity of like I don't know what I'm doing and I don't have it figured out, and everybody's doing it better than me. You know, like, the way that I was doing that and it's like actually that's taking away from you just being present and embracing the moment of, okay, my child really just needs to be loved on and there needs to be met, and I can do that, you know it's like I can do that. But in that moment, when we're at that stage like I was you just feel like you're not doing enough or you somehow don't have it all together. And so I would just encourage young moms or moms who are having in that season, that you're the right woman for the job and just walk confidently in that and know that you have what it takes and that you can securely just love on your children and um and meet their needs. Like it's. It's not rocket science.
Speaker 2:I know I made a complicated, so if you're making it complicated. Just know that you got this. You can do the job.
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Speaker 1:Oh goodness, honestly, probably putting my experience as a nurse into a book. You know, I think there's this temptation or I've always had this temptation of stay small. You know, stay small, be a small target, that sort of a thing. It just yeah time you take that risk doing anything. You know, when you start a past or you write a book, anything, it really is like part of your heart that you're putting out there and it just feels risky and that you do it. It's like yay, I chose courage.
Speaker 2:You know yeah, I love that um and then um. What are some books that were really impactful for?
Speaker 1:you um books regarding postpartum or just in general.
Speaker 2:Just in general, books that were pivotal for you and your life.
Speaker 1:Brene Brown wrote the Gifts of Imperfection. I love that. That one was really pivotal. And then there's a book called Keep your Love On by Dani Silk, and that one was incredibly impactful for my marriage. It really helped us rewrite how we communicated and did conflict, and that one was very impactful for my family, amazing.
Speaker 2:And then, last one is what's the best advice that you've been given?
Speaker 1:I guess really just something along the lines of that you are enough, you know, and not in like a cheesy way, but just who you are, the walk that you're on you know, the connection you have with God, with others, all of those things Like that really is exactly what you should be doing, and to be at peace in that.
Speaker 2:I love that. Well, Rachel, thank you so much for your time. It's been such a pleasure talking to you, getting to know you and just getting some practical insights and advice for new moms or moms who are in postpartum. Where can listeners find your book and connect with you for some additional resources?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the book's available at Amazon or Barnes and Noble's Books a Million and ChristianBookcom is a great place to buy it. I have a website it's mamadiditcom where moms can find lots of resources and blogs about all things pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding. You know all of that. And then I'm on Instagram too, at mamadiditofficial. I post a lot of helpful content there too, so those are the best ways to find me.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much, Rachel, I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening to the One Sweet Air podcast. It is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you enjoy the show, I would love for you to tell your friends. Leave us a reviewer rating and subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, because this helps others discover the show. You can find me on my website, speckhopoffcom.