THE ONES WHO DARED
THE ONES WHO DARED PODCAST Elevating stories of courage. You can listen to some of the most interesting stories of courage, powerful life lessons, and aha moments. Featuring interviews with leaders, pioneers and people who have done hard things. I hope these stories help pave the path for you to live out your courageous life.
THE ONES WHO DARED
10 Important Life Lessons From My Soviet-born Mother - Olya
In this Mother’s Day episode, I share 10 important life lessons I learned from observing my incredible mother, Olya—who was born in the Soviet Union during a time of significant persecution and adversity. Her story includes experiences of living under KGB surveillance, being denied an education due to her beliefs, and her brave immigration to the U.S. Her life stands as a powerful testament to resilience, faith, and joy amidst suffering.
Here I share ten lessons I learned by her example, a woman who would not allow darkness to overshadow her light. This episode is a tribute to every mother who loves passionately, lives with purpose, and creates a legacy that impacts generations to come.
What about you? What are some valuable lessons you learned from your mother?
-Links-
https://www.svetkapopov.com/
https://www.instagram.com/svetka_popov/
Hey friends, welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast, where stories of courage are elevated. I'm your host, vekka, and every other week you'll hear interviews from inspiring people. My hope is that you will leave encouraged. I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to the Ones who Dared podcast. I'm your host, vekka, and on our Mother's Day, I thought about sharing 10 valuable lessons that I learned from watching my mom.
Speaker 1:I have my hot cup of tea here In her memory and her honor. She was a huge tea drinker. Tea was a staple of hospitality and she always had tea at the house. She had her own loose leaf teas that she would mix and create her own little mixtures. And so if you want to get your cup of coffee, your tea, out, or maybe you're driving or cleaning, whatever you're doing, just know this is a little introduction to who my mom was and some lessons that I learned from observing her. So, before we get into the lessons, I want to introduce you to who my mom was and some lessons that I learned from observing her. So, before we get into the lessons, I want to introduce you to who my mother was. In short, she was a woman who never lost her joy in the midst of many challenges in life. She was a woman who believed the best in people. She didn't judge people, but made people feel like they belonged and were worthy of love, no matter what mistakes they made or what other people may have said about them or think about them. In her presence they were loved and welcomed, as is. She also had a way of encouraging people and left them feeling better than when they came. Her energy was magnetic and contagious, but she was also very human. She was not perfect by any means, but she was an amazing mom. So a little background on her to understand what shaped her into the woman that she became and the lessons that she modeled for us today.
Speaker 1:My mom was born in the Soviet Union in 1958. She was a firstborn in 1958. She was a firstborn and when she was born it was just three years after her mother, thassa's release from the Siberian labor camp called the Gulag, which she was at for her faith. The year of 1958 was also an interesting year because at that point the country's leader, nikita Khrushchev, launched a large-scale anti-religious campaign. So the political and personal freedom scene was very intense, so much so that just a few years prior to my mom's birth, her mother, tassie recalled in an interview that I listened to later on, and she said in 1956, when she got married, the persecutions were so intense that she truly didn't think that she would live through another year. Now these words were not said lightly, because they were coming from someone who already endured a lot by this point. Her mom, by this point, was already in the Nazi labor camp in Germany for three and a half years. She was already tortured in prison for her faith. She was already five and a half years in a prison camp in the Siberian Gulag, and so these words were not exaggerated by any means.
Speaker 1:And this is the atmosphere, the country, the political climate that my mom was born in, and so the lessons that she learned came from the depths of who she was and the life that she lived. And in my mom's youth she was incredibly radiant. From people that I interviewed just to get an idea of what my mom was like when she was young, they all said she had this incredible magnetic energy and she would radiate any room that she walked into and people were really drawn to her because of her zest for life, her vibrancy. She would travel and sing and initiate so many different endeavors and organize people to get together to do things, and she was an activator for sure During her youth. Because she was not part of the communist political party, she was not allowed to pursue higher education, unlike some people who were part of the party, but she was able to get trained to be a seamstress, so she did go to schooling for that and she became a really great seamstress. And, however, though, she would have KGB following her and knowing what it were about, and her life was always under the eye of the KGB, which is kind of a weird thing to think about. Living in the States and having the freedoms that we have, I can't imagine feeling a sense of eyes on you at all times and knowing that you could be arrested for gathering for your faith, knowing that you could lose your job or be fined a salary for gathering with other people who were people of faith, and I believe that all of this really created her to be resilient, creative and have a zest for life.
Speaker 1:My mom was also one of the hardest people that I know. After getting married, she went on to later have 10 kids with my dad and basically ended up raising us as a single parent and I don't say that lightly. When we were young, I remember my mom taking in people who she would measure, and what I didn't know at the time, though, is that when we were sleeping, she would be making their clothes as a seamstress and fulfilling their orders, and growing up, she made everything look so easy. She cooked, she cleaned, she did laundry by hand, she canned. She even made what you would call fruit loops, sun drying fruits on the roof from the trees that we had in our backyard, and she was always working, and looking back.
Speaker 1:Now, as an adult, you realize like, wow, in order for her to have done everything in the day that she did, there was so much sacrifice that took place, but somehow she made it look effortless. I don't know if it's just being kids you don't notice or don't understand the impact and the amount of work that it would have taken her to do what she did, so she appeared kind of superhuman, but what I also know is that she was always surrounded by community, because she was such a giver and a loving person that people were attracted to. She always had a community of generous people around her, because she was herself very generous, and so she was someone that hosted people. We would always have uninvited unexpected guests and there was actually a pantry that she had or separate place that she would put food that were specifically designated for guests just in case, and it would be like cookies and things that she could quickly get out and put in the table, along with some other things that she would whip up which felt like in seconds.
Speaker 1:One thing that I will eternally be grateful for is her bravery and her daring decision to leave everything she knew behind her language, her country, everything that she was familiar with and sacrifice all of that in order to exchange that for a better future for us kids and move away from the communist country and move into the states, which offered opportunity and offered her the ability to give her children a better future than she had growing up. Now, that choice did not come with an easy life. My mom, when she moved to the States, she worked multiple jobs, she did everything under the sun to make ends meet and she was probably part of every pyramid sales scheme that ever existed, and I'm not kidding. I remember her selling vacuums and pots and pans and vitamins and anything she can get her hands on, along with continuing to sew and having jobs and delivering newspapers at night. I mean, she worked so hard in order to provide the future here in the States for us. So I am so grateful for the mother that I had and the sacrifices that she made, and I know not everybody listening to this has a great relationship with their mom, and I don't mean this to be a my mom is better than your mom kind of thing. I'm just acknowledging the woman that she was and the sacrifices that she did make and the lessons that I learned from that, because I think we can learn from someone that has exemplified an incredible resilience and bravery and showed us how to live in a way that we can emulate some of those things. So what are the lessons that I learned from this incredible woman?
Speaker 1:Number one, and it's the first thing that came to mind, is her always saying this phrase when things were hard, or when I called her and would be complaining in my adult life about how hard business was, or staffing or parenting, whatever it was, she would say this too shall pass. That was her phrase that she would say all the time, and I think that phrase came from her seeing the rise and fall of evil leadership in her country. I think it's her recognizing that everything is in seasons and what problem that we may be experiencing now may seem like the biggest deal at the moment, but if you look five, 10 years from now, is this going to be as big of a deal? Chances are not really. Does that mean we minimize our old problems? No, but at the end of the day, I think this helped her not to take the struggle so seriously. This allowed her to not get worked up about the small things, because she would just make us feel better by saying this too shall pass, and helping us to see things from an aerial point of view, where you got to see a bigger picture. It wasn't. You're not so focused on the little things. So for me, that was a really big thing, acknowledging like, yeah, whatever I'm going through right now, it may feel really hard and it may feel like man, this is just so difficult, but it's also temporary and nothing in this life is forever. Everything is temporary. So that was a great lesson for me.
Speaker 1:Number two is never judge others, because you don't know the situation, and if you do, it's still none of your business. So she did not tolerate people who gossip. She didn't associate with people who gossip. I never heard her talk poorly about people. She would acknowledge things that are going on, but she wouldn who gossip. I never heard her talk poorly about people. She would acknowledge things that are going on, but she wouldn't gossip. She wouldn't sit there and dissect someone's issues and talk badly about them.
Speaker 1:And she even warned me never to judge people, especially when it came to get this guy's parenting and kids and wow, is that huge when you're a parent and my kids are bigger now and I know that I made mistakes and there's ways, things that I wish I would have done differently and so she would tell me about examples, how people would judge her parenting or her children, especially when they made mistakes. And then those same people who judge her when their kids were young and her kids were older, yeah, the same mistakes happened, or the same mistakes their kids were making, and sometimes even worse. And she just said, look, just don't judge people like you don't know what they're going through and also, you don't know if, like, don't put that judgment on yourself. Essentially, so to me, I'm so glad that she modeled this because it's a valuable lesson, because you really truly don't know what someone's going through. You may have just a little glimpse into what they're doing, but you don't know the why behind that. And I love that she taught me that at an early age, because I feel like now, when I look at people, I always feel like there's something deeper beyond what they're. What we're seeing, you know, we may see someone who's really broken, who's really struggling, and there's a reason behind why they are the way they are. So, rather than just judging them and making a snap decision about who they are and why they are, that way you can give that person grace and not gossip about them or not make conclusions about who they are people.
Speaker 1:And number three is there's always something to be grateful for, even in difficult seasons, and so my mom would find joy in the simplest things like flowers, a child smile, the taste of a delicious meal and actually I don't know if this was a generational thing or a cultural thing meal. And actually I don't know if this was a generational thing or a cultural thing. But have you guys seen women like solo photos of women next to bushes with flowers and their like hand is on the flower? I have so many pictures of my mom with that and we were always like making fun of her like mom, why do you always do this? And this is like this would be like a mom signature, where she'd find a flower and she'd like stand next to it cupping her hands around the flower, like look at this, people, isn't this beautiful? And anyways. So that was kind of comical for us growing up, but that's the way that she always was and she I think this was her way of essentially stopping and smelling the roses.
Speaker 1:So she was someone who just found delight in the smallest things and I think sometimes that is all we can do. We can be in the middle of a difficult season, in the middle of grief, in the middle of something hard, but it doesn't mean that we can't be present and enjoy the things that can be delightful or enjoyable, and find something in that day, something in that situation that we can say okay, I'm grateful that I have clean water, I'm grateful that I have, you know, warm shower. Okay, maybe I'm thinking of all this because I just got back from a hike, but really there's always something to be grateful for, right, guys? Okay, number four. And this lesson for her was truly a hard fought lesson and I'm going to try to make it through this without crying, because my mom was someone who exemplified always choosing to be the light in the darkness. She never allowed the darkness to win.
Speaker 1:And this is a really powerful lesson for me, because there were times when other people have tried to diminish her light, tried to completely extinguish that light, but she continued to stand tall, she continued to shine bright. Despite the attacks, the accusations that came against her, she didn't lose her joy. And actually she even told me that when her life was going through really, really difficult season, she always prayed and asked God, please don't let me lose my joy, whatever happens, just don't allow me to lose my joy. And so she had joy, no matter what. And it's not to say that she, you know, didn't experience pain and she didn't a lot, she didn't feel those things. It's just that she continued to pursue joy and she didn't allow the darkness to win. And so to me, that's really really huge, because life will try to really extinguish that light, it will try to suffocate you. Sometimes there are people that will do mean things and we can allow that to completely take us out or we can stand above that. And it does take work and it does take effort in order to stand against evil, to stand against the darkness that's coming at you and to really be the light. So I am incredibly proud of my mom for not allowing the darkness to win and, even though she's not with us and it may seem like you know, that's a loss and it is a loss for me, but she continued to stay tall even in the midst of her suffering, and I am so proud to be a witness of someone who suffered well.
Speaker 1:Number five is do not pay attention to the opinions of others and live your life. She would often say this phrase that people who talk about you will also talk about other people, and so when they're not gossiping about you, they're gossiping about someone else. As you guys can tell, my mom did not like gossip, but she really made a point to say don't allow other people's opinions to dictate who you are and what you do, because people are going to talk no matter what. So why use your energy to pay attention to the people who have nothing better to do than sit there and dissect people's lives? And so she wouldn't align herself with those people, and so, essentially, you know, she always encouraged me to just do what is right and don't give people a reason to gossip, like don't make foolish decisions, obviously, but also don't pay them any attention. And so just make choices that align with the person that you're becoming and ignore the noise.
Speaker 1:Number six hospitality. Let your presence and your home be a place of welcome. She modeled this super well and, as I mentioned my tea earlier today, it reminds me so much of my mom. In her presence, people always felt welcomed, and in her home they also felt welcome, because she would set a table with tea and that separate stash that I talked about for guests, and she would always make meals for people based on what they liked. She would throw in, like, if somebody came over or told her that they're coming over, there'd be a cake in the oven and it'd be like a really quick whipped up egg battered cake. I remember she used to make a cake out of like six eggs and like a cup of flour and I think it was like some sugar and something, something else, and it was in the oven with apples on top and boom, there it was, and so she just had a way of making things things not be so complicated, like don't overcomplicate hosting people. Just put out what you have.
Speaker 1:Welcome people with a warm hug, a warm smile, and my family, my sisters and I would talk about how, when my mom would welcome you when you come into her house, she always had her arms wide open. You'd see her with the biggest smile, with her arms wide open, hot tea on the table. She was always so eager to spend time with people and she never made it about her, it was always about how are you. She would ask you questions and make you feel so at home. So hospitality was something that she modeled incredibly well and she really didn't make it complicated and people really felt like they belonged in her presence. Not just the home, because we didn't have the best house growing up and but in spite of that, she continued to allow that to be an open door. And I think in our culture, in our society today, people are afraid to welcome people in unless you have, like a date set to say, okay, you're coming over for dinner two weeks from now. But I think we can make that a little bit more of a less complicated process of just like, hey, you can stop in whenever you want, I'll, you know, make you a hot cup of tea. So, yeah, I think that hospitality is something that I'm so thankful that I learned I don't stress out about having guests over. I feel like because of her example, I am frequently hosting people and I really enjoy it and her example has allowed me to know how to curate community and how to just enjoy people, and I may not do it as well as she's done it, but I do really enjoy it and I think that her example really helped me to host people today.
Speaker 1:Number seven is never hold a grudge. Learn to forgive people quickly and move on, because it's not worth your energy and it hurts you more than it hurts them. And, as the saying goes, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person's going to die. From what I remember, my mom would not hold grudges. She let go of things easily and she just was not allowing these kinds of things to stick to her and take her energy. I think my mom really needed her energy for so many other things that she had no time for these nonsense.
Speaker 1:Number eight be selective who you're friends with. My mom used to say this saying when I was growing up, and it really annoyed me because I was in my early teens. She would say tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are, and you also probably heard the saying that you are the average of the five closest people to you. So whether it's your lifestyle, your finances, what you believe, your diet, your activity, the hobbies that you have, all those things are reflection of who you are becoming by who you surround yourself with. And so my mom had a lot of friends that she was friends with, but she had a very close knit ride or die friends who were girlfriends, who were fiercely supportive, who prayed for each other's families, who were there through thick and thin. They'd laugh with each other, they'd be silly, they'd celebrate each other's wins, and I believe her girlfriends were like her therapy. I often would find her laughing with her girlfriends in the kitchen so loud that they would be nearly falling off their chairs with tears in their eyes from so much laughter, because they knew how to have a good time in the midst of also some hard real life challenges. And so that is something that my mom taught me.
Speaker 1:She also said that when she was moving from state to state, she prayed that God would give her friends that she could pray with and do real life with. For her that was a very important thing and because I think it was important, she really made it an intentional effort into making that come to life. The other lesson, number nine, is be rooted in your faith. Know who you are and who God is to you so that, no matter what's going on in the world, you have something to anchor in and so that you won't be swayed to the left or the right. And it's not to say that my mom's faith hasn't evolved over time, because it has, but she had a firm foundation of how great God was and also how much she was loved by God, and so she also taught me the importance of prayer and the impact it had, especially when it comes to praying for you To me.
Speaker 1:I was really grateful to see her prayers come to life and that it wasn't something that was made up. It wasn't just this airy thing that people talked about. I've actually seen her praying for her kids and how there was transformation that took place from her, and she would often say that she was praying that God would fill in the gaps of her childhood where she failed or where there was gaps in parenting. To this day, I'm confident that her prayers saved my life on multiple occasions, because there were times that my life was in jeopardy and looking back now, I know that it was nothing but the grace of God and the prayers of my mom, and so I honestly don't know where I'd be without her prayers and her blessings.
Speaker 1:And she continually spoke blessings over us, and sometimes even directly to us in person, where she would say I bless you and I bless your business, I bless everything you do and whatever you do, and I bless your business, I bless everything you do and whatever you do you're going to succeed in. And she would just speak words of blessing over us, and that was so important. She would also pray blessings over her children, her grandchildren, her great-grandchildren, and so if you're a parent, I really would encourage you to not give up praying for your kids, because it is a lot more powerful than you think, and I have witnessed the change that happens from mother's prayer. So I am eternally grateful that I had a praying mother and a praying grandmother, because I know that they prayed not only for me but also for my kids and my kids' kids, and so it's just, it's such a powerful thing. So don't underestimate the power of prayer and faith. And the last one is number 10, which is be generous with your life, that no matter how much you have, no matter the resources or lack of resources that you have, there is always something you can be generous with, whether that's encouragement, a smile, a compliment.
Speaker 1:My mom was notorious to talking to strangers in her accent and complimenting them and doing small acts of kindness wherever she could. I remember when we were at her last round of cancer at this center where she was getting treatment, and she walked outside of this treatment center and there were flowers that were wilting because nobody watered them outside of this building, and so my mom got some flower, some water, and she was out there watering these flowers. I mean, these flowers are really none of her business, but for her it was like she loved nature, she loved the birds, she loved, I mean, like I said, the little things, and so she saw a need and she filled it. And it's just doing these small little acts of kindness, where you see a thing and you just do the thing. And, like I said, she would compliment strangers all the time. Later in her life she was an Uber driver and she made so many friends with all these strangers and she listened to their problems and make them feel great Like all is well, in the extra mile.
Speaker 1:At any job and any endeavor that she did, she would always go the extra mile. For example, I remember when we lived in Portland, oregon, and my mom was delivering newspapers at night and as siblings we would alternate and help her in the evenings I think it was in the weekends, maybe during school night, I don't know but we would go on with her. So it was my turn to go with even during school night, I don't know, but, um, we would go on with her. So it was my turn to go with her and she would tell me you have to go and take that newspaper and lean in against their front door or like their porch. And no one told her to do this. As you guys know, newspapers are thrown into the driveway and people just walk to get them. Well, when it was my mom's turn to deliver the papers, those people got their papers when they opened that door, it was leaned against their door or a pillar where they could gently just pick it up from there.
Speaker 1:So guess what happened around Christmas time? My mom got tons of Christmas cards and people gave her gifts and popcorn, and she wasn't just going to accept it as is. She wrote letters Actually, she had us write letters because we were doing better in English than she was at the time, and so we would write a thank you note to every single one of those people who thanked us in return for having their papers right against their door. And so that's what I mean about my mom going the extra mile.
Speaker 1:She was someone that did everything with excellence, with a full heart, and so today, as her daughter, there may have been things she told me that I don't remember, but the things that I won't forget are the things that I've seen her model, which are some of the things that I shared with you within the 10 lessons, and for me, that reminds me, as a parent or as a human being, to do the things that I want other people to emulate, like my children, and those things make a bigger impact than us telling someone to do something or wanting someone to do something telling someone to do something or wanting someone to do something and so I'm grateful that I had a really great example, and I hope that one day to my children, they'll be able to learn some of these passed down lessons as well, and I'd love to hear from you. What are some lessons that you learned from your mom? What are some things that you see in your mom model that were great examples? Because we know that we're not perfect and not everything my mom did was perfect, like I said, but she did one heck of a job raising 10 kids, basically on her own, and so I have to give her a lot of credit for the life that she lived and the sacrifices that she made, and she was just such a positive, vibrant human being, and I'm so eternally grateful that I have someone that today can miss. And, by the way, my mom's name is Ola, and her last name should have been, before it was changed to it was a German last name called Gamble. So there it is, and so thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1:I hope you have a fabulous Mother's Day if you're a mother and maybe you're not a mother physically, but maybe you're someone who is a youth leader, maybe you mentor kids, maybe you're a role in someone's life, and so I just want to honor you for that, and I also want to acknowledge that Mother's Day can be really hard for some people, whether you're grieving a loss of a mother that you had, or you're grieving the fact that you never had the mother that you wanted or wish you had, and so I just want to acknowledge that Mother's Day is different for people, and people celebrate it differently, and it's okay that we have a different experience.
Speaker 1:So I'm just thankful that you tuned in and listened this far. I really appreciate you listening and if you found this to be encouraging, share it with your review, and thank you so much again for tuning in. Have a wonderful day. Thank you for listening to the Once we Dare podcast. It is an honor to share these encouraging stories with you. If you enjoy the show, I would love for you to tell your friends, leave us a reviewer rating and subscribe to wherever you listen to podcasts, because this helps others discover the show. You can find me on my website, speckhopoffcom.