Transacting Value Podcast
Looking for ways to reinvigorate your self-worth or help instill it in others? You're in the right place. Transacting Value Podcast is a weekly, episodic, conversation-styled podcast that instigates self-worth through personal values. We talk about the impacts of personal values on themes like job satisfaction, mitigating burnout, establishing healthy boundaries, enhancing self-worth, and deepening interpersonal relationships.
This is a podcast about increasing satisfaction in life and your pursuit of happiness, increasing mental resilience, and how to actually build awareness around what your values can do for you as you grow through life.
As a divorced Marine with combat and humanitarian deployments, and a long-distanced parent, I've fought my own demons and talked through cultures around the world about their strategies for rebuilding self-worth or shaping perspective. As a 3d Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and a lifelong martial artist, I have studied philosophy, psychology, history, and humanities to find comprehensive insights to help all of our Ambassadors on the show add value for you, worthy of your time.
Ready to go from perceived victim to self-induced victor? New episodes drop every Monday 9 AM EST on our website https://www.TransactingValuePodcast.com, and everywhere your favorite podcasts are streamed. Check out Transacting Value by searching "Transacting Value Podcast", on Facebook, LinkedIn or YouTube.
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Transacting Value Podcast
The Healing Power of Storytelling: From Law Enforcement to Law School with Thomas Carchidi
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What happens when a retired law enforcement officer embarks on a new journey of self-discovery? Join us as we chat with Thomas Carchidi, an inspiring figure whose life story is woven with resilience, heritage, and transformation. As the only child of Italian immigrants, Thomas shares how the grit and determination of his parents shaped his values and drove him towards a career in service. His journey doesn’t stop at retirement; he’s now navigating identity shifts and a new chapter in life, including the pursuit of a law degree, and embracing the healing power of storytelling through writing and podcasting.
(11:15) https://porthouse.kw.com/
(36:24) https://cancer.va.gov/
You can purchase your copy of A Life in Law Enforcement, A Police Memoir, The Good, The Bad, The Corrupt by Thomas Carchidi on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and bookbaby.com.
Connect with Thomas on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomas-carchidi-653345331/
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The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience. Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity. My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character. This is why values still hold value. This is Transacting Value.
Thomas Carchidi:Carpenter, plumber, doesn't matter what you do Lawyer, doctor, infantryman, cop, doesn't matter. Do it the best you can, and do the best you can with your abilities that God gave you and give it back to him. That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse:Today on Transacting Value. Who do you become when your baseline is crime and corruption? In fact, after a life with crime and violence and the gritty reality that police work can be, even your options might seem slim. Well, today on the show, the author of A Life in Law Enforcement, a police memoir, the good, the bad and the corrupt and retired law enforcement officer out of Long Island, new York, tom Karkiti, is here and he's going to set the record straight. Folks, I'm Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and from SDYT Media, this is Transacting Value, tom. What's up, man? How you doing?
Thomas Carchidi:How you doing, josh, thanks for having me. My, uh, my pleasure. Thanks for inviting me on the show.
Josh Porthouse:Absolutely and honestly man with a career like yours and a book like yours, I figure you you should be like the, the commissioner Gordon in the entire Batman series. You know what I mean. Like your story seems like. It's so crazy to me that it was just the only piece missing was Batman. What? What is this like? Let's start at the beginning. How about this? Let's ground it a little bit for everybody who is just tuning into the conversation. How about we start here? Who are you All right, where are you from and what sort of things have actually shaped your perspective on life?
Thomas Carchidi:I'm an only child of two Italian immigrants off the boat, as we call it, from Calabria, italy. They came in the 50s, off the boat, moved to Brooklyn. I was born in Brooklyn when I was a kid, lived there for a couple of years, moved out to Long Island, been always young, but always back and forth because I had family there, italian-american family, very important. My heritage, you know Christianity. Italian and Christianity go together hand in hand. But my parents also wanted me to, you know, be indoctrinated into the American culture. They wanted me to be an American. You know the American dream. So that's basically where it starts.
Thomas Carchidi:I was always an athletic kid. I always loved sports, martial arts. I started martial arts when I was a little boy. All the way up, you know it's one of my loves. I'm an American combat karate, full contact karate, black belt or Brazilian jiu-jitsu, black belt. Um, you know I love teaching, I love helping people, giving back to the community and, uh, I guess that's a good starting point. You know I went to high school, college, grade school, catholic school for eight years, public high school, plain Edge High School. Then I went to college, city University, new York, john Jay College, undergrad, long Island University, CW Post for my master's and now I'm in my third yearyear law school, hopefully studying to be an attorney. Um, yeah, man. So that that's a basic, generic start for me. Uh, just to give you an idea about myself, some pedigree info unbelievable.
Josh Porthouse:What a start. Okay, so the american dream, all things considered as an immigrant family not to get political about it, but you know, just for a frame of reference as an immigrant family coming in in the 50s, what does the American dream get qualified as? How is that defined?
Thomas Carchidi:A lot different than it does now. A lot different than it does now. I don't like to compare my parents or a group of people to any other group, um, because everybody has their own experiences and almost every group has been persecuted at some time or another. But Italians had a hard way when they came here, you know, they really did. Um, it was written in newspaper for everyone to see. There was advertisements this job, that job, no Italians need apply. I mean, yeah, you can't make this up, you still? You know newspaper clippings. Um, yeah, my mom and dad would never give it anything.
Thomas Carchidi:My mom came here. She started working when she was 15. She rose her way up the ranks at, uh, I believe it was beltlantic, then 9x or vice versa, then all the way up to verizon. Um, she, she was a manager there for 35 years. She retired. My father when he first came to America he was going to night school and working all day as a mechanic with his father at a car shop, auto body and mechanic garage. And shortly after he came to America he was drafted during the vietnam war so uh, it was no easy.
Thomas Carchidi:There was no easy route, easy way out for them. You know, when they came here, they, they worked for everything. They had nothing when they came here. And now you know, yeah house in long island, house of state, you know, vacation home. They worked hard, they did the right thing and, uh, my parents really did live the American dream and I benefited from it, thank God.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, absolutely. And that's only in one generation. One generation, dude. That's crazy. I can only imagine that some aspect of that stubbornness and resilience and family attitude it had to get transferred over. It doesn't fall that far that quick. You know what I mean? 100 percent, 100, geez, yeah, unbelievable. And then okay, so you, you made your career as a cop. With what nypd, what, what did you know?
Thomas Carchidi:no, so after college and graduate school I moved down to maryland. I was a police officer in Baltimore. I did a couple of years there and a lot of transferred out. I went to Montgomery County, which I retired from. Montgomery County, montgomery County, maryland it's a suburb in Maryland right on the DC border. It's a lot of affluent places. It has the Naval Med is there, president goes for his you know, medical treatment there. Um, a lot of affluent people, athletes, politicians, supreme court judges um, that's the Potomac area. So, uh, that was my route. I retired early due to an injury and some uh, health issues. I have, thank God, I just got over 9-11 related stage four of a former cancer and I had a herniated disc from the police department. So I retired early. I came back home. I worked as a peace officer in New York State too for a long time, probably about 11 years, swarm law enforcement officer. I helped with admin, training and patrol and things like that, and so I have about 15, 16 years of swarm law enforcement experience.
Josh Porthouse:And you said stage four, lymphoma.
Thomas Carchidi:I had stage four lymphoma. I had a it's crazy. I had a big tumor in my lymph node, my throat, my neck area, and I had a tumor, nice size tumor that enveloped, wrapped around my T5 vertebrae. My back was breaking my back, oh yeah. So the treatment for a year and a half was, uh, absolutely torturous and disgusting without, without the grace of God, my strength. You absolutely torturous and disgusting without, without the grace of God, my strength. You know you spoke about earlier resilience. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here.
Josh Porthouse:Wow, well, for one. Yeah, congratulations, absolutely, thank you. That's huge. And, as I understand, the stage four not to get too deep into it, I guess, but this is like through multiple systems in your body and then top half, bottom half of the diaphragm right. That's what stage four means. It's stage four.
Thomas Carchidi:Stage four just generally means it leaves the host wherever it is. Say, for instance, you have lung cancer about. For this it travels from there to another organ, another portion of your body. So for it went from my lymph node to my backbone. So anytime it goes from one organ or bone or anything like that to another another location, it automatically becomes stage four. This is the way it was explained to me.
Josh Porthouse:Okay, and then attached to your bone. Does that make it bone cancer or just co-located?
Thomas Carchidi:Once you're diagnosed with something, it's always that. So, since it was diagnosed as lymphoma cancer, it's still lymphoma cancer, but that attached to the bone. So it's not bone cancer, it's lymphoma cancer that's spread.
Josh Porthouse:Okay, but so what you're saying and what it sounds like to me is even your white blood cells took a hit, not just from treatment, but also because now they're like everything.
Thomas Carchidi:Everything took a hit. The treatment I can't even so, minus surgeries, bone punctures Like how do you just I can't even begin. How do you even know radiation? I'm just million dollar treatment. Thank God I have good insurance. Car T cell therapy I was in the hospital for 23 days in a hospital setting sick out of my mind. Yeah, it was bad. So spinal taps I don't know if I said that it was brutal, bro. It was brutal.
Josh Porthouse:OK, well, good thing you had the mindset you had. I'm assuming there were some down days, down days.
Thomas Carchidi:There was almost two years of just complete misery and depression. But how could you not be miserable and depressed like that? I couldn't even get off the couch, I couldn't do anything, I couldn't work out, my back was breaking. But I'm a different, I'm a little strange, I'm a different animal, and that's good and bad, because the things that motivate me in life my personality, my A-type, my faith that's what got me through it. But sometimes it works against me, because sometimes I'm a little too much. I don't give things up, I don't stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's it worked. It worked for me this time. You know my family support system, um, my faith and me just being uh, can we talk candidly on here? Can we curse? So are we allowed?
Josh Porthouse:I mean, yeah, we can, we can beep it out, it's fine, no, no it's all right me just being a strong sob yeah yeah physically and mentally.
Thomas Carchidi:I don't have to tell you you're a military guy, you get it. You get it. Um, some of us are different, right?
Josh Porthouse:All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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Thomas Carchidi:I don't have to tell you you're a military guy, you get it, you get it. Some of us are different, right?
Josh Porthouse:Yeah will goes a long way and I think this is something we learned. So most of my career has been in the Marine Corps infantry and active duty until about a year ago, and so for the first 14 years of my career, the one thing I took from that in terms of self-awareness, I guess, or personal development is that your body's going to give up way before. Well, sorry, your brain's going to give up way before your body does. So if you can figure out a way to push through, you're going to be okay. With a little bit of hope and some faith right and maybe water and dry socks, you're going to be okay.
Josh Porthouse:And what does that do? You know not specific to your diagnosis, but in general, these types of transitions like 15 years as a law enforcement officer and then you're not. The next morning you wake up and you're not anymore and then all of a sudden you're a cancer survivor. You weren't yesterday, you are the next morning. You know, like, what does that do for your identity and who you are as a person? How do you work through that?
Thomas Carchidi:So I tell you Funny story to me. Some people think it's bizarre, but this will tell you about my personality and you'll appreciate this first thing, before I forget, I want to thank you for your service. Today's Veterans Day, I want to thank all the veterans my father, family members, friends. Thank you for your service. You're the real heroes in this country. That's number one.
Thomas Carchidi:Number two when I got out of the hospital, I was in the hospital for 23 days with something called CAR T-cell therapy. It's a new treatment they give for this type of cancer, for blood cancers, lymphoma leukemias. Sick as a dog, I couldn't even. It messes you up neurologically. Everything. You're sick, you're on the floor. I couldn't even remember my name about six, seven days in. I couldn't make a sense. On the 23rd day they let me out. I have herniated disc from the police department. I'm all jacked up. I can't even turn to the right anymore. I, 3.30 in the afternoon. They cut my catheter out surgery, whatever they want to call it minor surgery. Take my catheter out. I'm out the door. 3.30 in the afternoon I leave the city, sloan Kettering, one of the best hospitals in the world. 7.30 at night.
Thomas Carchidi:That day I was in jujitsu working out with the guys training, because that's me and I don't know any other way. When I'm dead gone, we all have an exploration. When I'm gone, I'll take a nice nap, I'll relax. While I'm here, I have to focus on important things. You were asking me earlier what's it like? You retire, you leave. You have this.
Thomas Carchidi:If you don't focus on something positive at least for me, you're going to spiral. You're going to go off into something negative mentally, emotionally, you're going to go into a bad place. I believe everybody needs something, everybody needs an outlet, right, whether it's the gym. I can't work out or train martial arts like I used to because of my health issues, my injuries. I'm never going to be 25 again, right, but I need that.
Thomas Carchidi:I need to be able to help people, teach them what I know, what I've learned. I need to be able to compete and play a little bit with my friends in there. I need to be able to focus my mind on law school, because once you leave the military I'm sure you know, I hear stories from my dad once you leave and other people once you leave the police department, like that, overnight, it's almost like you lose a part of your entity, your being like you don't know what you're supposed to do. You're a civilian now, as compared to being overseas or walking a foot beat in East Baltimore, and it's a little devastating at first. So if you don't find outlets, things that make you happy, you know you could definitely spiral downward, quickly, quickly, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, some of that, all of that I agree with entirely.
Josh Porthouse:Some of that, I think, is because you get so wrapped up in this process the procedural stuff, the administrative stuff, sure, because that's the job, responsibilities and whatever you're doing, right, the cops, the firefighters, emts, military it's the same sort of cycle, I think, where, after an extended period of time in those types of environments, like you said, it becomes a part of yourself, it's a part of your identity.
Josh Porthouse:You can't view the world any differently and, I think, more importantly, you can't undo that when you don't need it anymore either. Right, yeah, so having an outlet makes all the difference, man. I mean, that's what podcasting was for me. It became my therapy after a while, just talking to people, you know, finding a finding an outlet, because I didn't have to, I don't know, go on hikes in the mornings anymore, go to, uh, you know, physical training in the mornings or fitness tests. Well, the same routine. It was different, but my perception hadn't changed. I still thought I was that person, you know, but I wasn't anymore. And so, in your case, you, that's when you started jujitsu, that's when you started.
Thomas Carchidi:No, I started martial arts when I was a little boy, eight years old. I always I would wake up saturday mornings, I'd watch the cartoons and then right after that I don't know if you remember, I don't know how old you are they used to have how much 37. 37. I'm 49, a little bit older. They used to have, I think on 5, I don't even know if it was Fox back then like Kung Fu Theater, martial Arts Saturday, like the ad, you know they think, the voiceovers, yeah, yeah, I loved it, and ever since then I was Mom, dad, take me to karate, take me to, you know, kickboxing, take me to jujitsu, and it's just something I've always loved, you know.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, no, I actually do get it. I started Taekwondo when I was maybe six, seven, something about the same age. That's awesome. Yeah, I got, I got my third degree black belt and I went to college and I enlisted and then you know, I shifted after that. But uh, yeah, all sorts of stuff. I got uh, blue belt, brazilian jiu-jitsu and then ended up not being able to stay in it, uh, for a while, just deployments and you know whatever else yeah, but they have they have the combatives right, like one of my friends.
Thomas Carchidi:actually, I don't think they do for the marines, but my friend is a uh, I think, a combatives instructor. I haven't talked to him in a couple years. Great, great guy Randy. I used to train jiu-jitsu with him 20 years ago. He was combatives instructor for the Army and he's a black belt in jiu-jitsu and he teaches them incredible jiu-jitsu. So I don't know if you guys have that in the Marines or anything.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is a combatives program and I did it for the the whole, probably first eight years of my career, uh, but then it wasn't mandatory anymore and I didn't have the outlet, because then it's it's training, it's not really like recreation, you know.
Josh Porthouse:I mean it's, it's a different focus yeah so that that's when I got into crossfit and got a coaching certification and then I could compete again and be more active and it filled the need again. Yeah, but I totally get what you're saying, with some overlap and a little bit of guidance. It just that, man, that is such a powerful point that you just made, because it gives you continuity in your own identity. It gives you something to latch onto as a control and then hope, purpose, faith, everything else that ties into it.
Thomas Carchidi:Well, you know it's funny. We talked about this. I had a guy that I used to work with the lieutenant the police department. He was, I think, the longest acting law officer in all of maryland. When he finally retired I think he had 52 or 53 years on the job. Some guys can't let it go. It's like a pro athlete.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi:You live a certain life. It's hard, like how do you go one day from being in the Super Bowl or being in the World Series All-Star game? Next day your career is over and you're just I use the term because I am one An average Joe, an everyday Joe in society. You know you're not going to, they're still going because they're athletes. But I was going to say you're not going to these amazing dinners and this, and that we still are, but on a different level, on a different level. So everybody has to retire, so to speak. Sooner or later. Everybody has to give it up. I know my time in jujitsu. What do? Everybody has to give it up. I know my time in jujitsu. What do? I got A couple more years, I'm almost 50. You know, if that, with everything going on, police is done, jujitsu is going to have its day. We all are going to have a period where we say enough, we can't do it anymore, for whatever reason health, age, you got to find things you're into and I think that's what helps you cope.
Josh Porthouse:I think that's what helps you cope. I think, absolutely. I totally agree, man. Learning to let go, I think, is an important part of acceptance, because you don't have to disassociate entirely. I think that may be what scares a lot of people in that idea where my identity is going to change at the end of my career. I don't know what I'm going to do for sure, right, but I certainly know I can't do this like you just brought up. But I think it's important also to remember you don't have to put it all behind you, right, different now. So what of it can you take with you that does you some good, that gives you some fulfillment, or whatever you know, being an instructor, in your case, or an author of a book, or finding the next challenge like going to school. Dude, three years of law school, I bet you've never read so many books in your life bro and boring legalese jargon a foreign language.
Thomas Carchidi:Miserable, disgusting these are all adjectives that I can use for law school. Torturous, miserable experience don't do it. Don't do it unless you prepare for mental torture.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah yeah, well, I guess then it helps that you're a little bit more. What's the word hard-headed? I am hard-headed, a little bit more resilient yeah. Yeah, it's a superpower man. God bless you.
Josh Porthouse:All right, folks, sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.
Josh Porthouse:Join us for Transacting Value, where we discuss practical applications of personal values every Monday at 9 am on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom, wednesdays at 5 pm and Sundays at noon on wreathsacrossamericaorg slash radio. So from everything we've been talking about, uh, first off, I appreciate you being able to break this apart into a second piece. Make some time out of your schedule. I know you're busy and got stuff going on, so, um, thanks for coming back so we can finish out our conversation. First of all, listen.
Thomas Carchidi:It's great to be back. Thanks for having me, and I was looking forward to it.
Josh Porthouse:I appreciate it yeah, absolutely, dude, absolutely. But you talked about all kinds of stuff. I mean, we went somehow from what? Calabria, italy, to Boston, baltimore, baltimore, yep, baltimore, yep, baltimore. And so your experiences, man, just as a person growing through life, what you took into being a cop, did it help? Did you have to learn as you went? Did you have enough you could stand on everything?
Thomas Carchidi:in life is always a yin and a yang. I believe almost everything is a good and a bad right. So, uh, I learned a lot from working in law enforcement. Um, some good, some bad, you know, um, and you laugh because you understand. Being in the military it's amazing. You learn so many things coping skills, life mechanisms, right. But there's also bad things. You take out of it Spiritual, emotional, mental scars, physical scars, personality quirks. So I'd say, overall, I got a lot out of working in law enforcement. It helped me.
Thomas Carchidi:One thing I liked about you know, I kind of lump in law enforcement and military together. You know law enforcement is quasi-military. A lot of people that are in the military when they retire they drive it to law enforcement. You know, my instructors were all law enforcement, pretty much for the most part across the board.
Thomas Carchidi:I think just my opinion and I'm a nobody, just my opinion in this country you should either do some time in the military or do some time in a law enforcement capacity because it teaches you a certain way to live, um and to conduct yourself, and I don't have to tell you, you know exactly what I mean. Uh, you know, if you don't have that mindset, that military demeanor that that way of understanding how life can be. Life's a lot of fun, but it can also be very serious and very hectic and chaotic. If you don't understand that, you can't differentiate the two, you're not disciplined in a strict guy, you can have a big problem. I think I'm very outgoing and charismatic charismatic, I have a lot of fun. My friends die laughing when they're with me. But I have another side, excuse me, when hits the fan. There's another side and I think that's important for a man in society. They do so hopefully that answers it a little bit.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, yeah, but do you think that's a result, then, of what? Was it 15 years?
Thomas Carchidi:So law enforcement yeah, police and peace officer about 15 years sworn. So I would say that law enforcement helped turn me into that type of person, but I had it in me. You know, I was very uh, I was different when I was a kid. I was very timid. I was more uh, green behind the ears. You know, I came from a great family. Um, I was protected and, uh, as I got older I changed because I saw things were very, very difficult in this world and it can be very harsh at times.
Thomas Carchidi:A lot of people don't like to admit it, but I'm a realist, I'm not an optimist. I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist. So I started working out, going to martial arts, becoming more disciplined, going down the law enforcement road, that route College, graduate school, law school, trying to be more of a disciplined guy and more of a serious guy. And when it's time to have fun, you have fun. But I definitely believe in a serious mentality. As far as a man, my grandfather's old school kind of race, very serious, loving guy, but very serious guy. My godfather, my uncle very serious guy. My other uncle, who's like a father to me. My aunt's husband from Sicily Very serious, fun guys, but very serious. So I kind of have a mix. That's how I live my life.
Josh Porthouse:What has it done for you, though? I mean, do you find, in hindsight maybe, or at present maybe, that that causes more I don't know conflict in your relationships then? Or does it help? It's funny.
Thomas Carchidi:It's also a fine line, a strange dynamic right. We don't really know where that great line in the sand lies with certain things.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah.
Thomas Carchidi:I'll try to make an example. Every relationship is different. I'm heterosexual, so everyone that I'm with is different relationship. Every friend of mine is a different relationship. You can't really take everybody and treat them equally, so to speak. Everyone's equal as a human, but everybody has a different personality. So some people love me, they love my personality, they get it. My friends and family they get it, they accept it. You know I'm more of a pit bull. I have the traits of a pit bull. You know that's what my family calls me Fun loving, smart, you know, athletic.
Thomas Carchidi:And then another side of something is to occur and I think that's good because I'm protective, I'm loving, I'm a good man, I'm a God fearing Christian and I think, like I said, either you love me or you hate me. You know some people, you know, leave that guy alone, he's a little nutty, or, you know, he's not my type of person. And then I have friends all over the place that love me. I'm going out with friends a little later, so it just depends. You know, some people find, let's be honest some people find alpha guys like us I'm sure you're an alpha, you're in the military. They find this a little scary martial art people, until they get to know you, then they realize that guy's a big teddy bear.
Thomas Carchidi:Unless you know, something really goes wrong and things go south. Something really goes wrong and things go south. Then I guess you could see a different side. But I think that's important in life and being a good person and being able to live in your environment, to be able to decipher and take yourself out of it. You, for example, you come out of the military. I have friends that are on active duty, this and that Friends that work in the worst neighborhoods in America. It's hard to turn that off right. You're, you're in a war zone, you're in a battle zone, and then you come home and you're supposed to be like, just I don't know. I don't know exactly what you're supposed to be, but they want you. That's what I was gonna ask yeah because we at least.
Josh Porthouse:Well, that's what I was going to say we at least have this line. I mean, it's an ocean in most cases. Yes, you know we're not operating domestically. You guys have an intersection Right and then you go home.
Thomas Carchidi:Right.
Josh Porthouse:That changes everything, in my opinion. You know, we've got a seven-hour flight to decompress or whatever. You've got a seven-minute drive, right? That's not the same right? So yeah, how do you unpack that? How do you work to develop the switch?
Thomas Carchidi:I have to have outlets. I have to, otherwise I think we all do. I think we spoke about this last time, this last time briefly. For instance, I read so much legal jargon, legalese, from law school, it's like maddening. I have to read a comic book sometimes, I have to read some silly fiction, I have to go see a movie, go out to dinner, train martial arts with my buddies. I have to do something. There has to be an outlet. Otherwise, if know, if you have a family, that's great, hang out with your kid. There has to be something. If you make everything every moment, the job, the job, the job you know, like either in the military, in police, anything, a stockbroker, a lawyer, I think it's going to mess with you. I really do, and especially in traumatic situations, jobs like we have. We see the worst, right, we see the worst, we see the most violent. You know it's crazy the things we see. So you need an outlet to kind of get you away from that. And I definitely have outlets, a hundred percent.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah. Well, and then you also created them. I mean, you wrote a book. Yes, a Life in Law Enforcement, right? Let's talk about your book. Yes, sir, are you a journaler? Do you normally write stuff?
Thomas Carchidi:No, no, no. So it's crazy. I keep a little what do you call? A pen and then I write notes every night before I go to sleep, my thoughts. I've done it since I was in probably 19, but I never wrote a book, nothing like that.
Thomas Carchidi:Just one day I was talking to, uh, a girl I was dating at the time and she just asked me about work and this and that. And I'm like, if you could only like, if you can only get in my mind, like, really get in my mind the X-Men, what was the one of my favorite? I told you I'm a comic book Professor X, professor X man. If you could get in my brain you know, yoda, see what I'm thinking, you would understand. Like it's so hard. What am I going to sit here for 10 hours and tell you all the things I saw, all the things that go on other cops see. So I said you know what I think? I'd like to write a book.
Thomas Carchidi:I had no idea. I had no idea how to do it. I taught myself everything and one day I just said I'm going to start writing notes. This one time on the block 400 East Baltimore Street, which was similar to Times Square back in the 80s, you know, strip joints, clubs, drugs, prostitutes, guns. Just going to write what happened this one night, when you know we got to there was a shooting and you know I just started putting things, say pen to pad but there is no more of that for me on the computer, just started writing and uh, next thing I know I have like 400, 500 pages of just craziness and uh, that's, that's pretty much how it came about and then I had to edit it. I had help from people, some of my friends helped me with the editing process and that's really how it just came about, man.
Josh Porthouse:Wow, yeah, okay, so this is I mean specifically, it says a life in law enforcement, a police memoir. And then you're talking about what does it say? The good, the bad and the ugly. The good, yeah, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Thomas Carchidi:Yep, so this isn't just like lessons I've learned. This isn't just like a workbook to help people journal. No, this is like authentic down on the street beat cop experience.
Thomas Carchidi:Yes, we've seen it all before, right, so you're not going to be shocked in the sense like you can't believe these things go on, but you're going to be shocked at the stories that I present specifically. You're going to be like what the it's nuts it. But the thing is you can't make this up. It's all documented witness statements, court cases, cases, police reports, movies, books, news articles, media and when you look back at this 600 citations I'm just throwing a number out there in my book documents when you look at this and you're like this is crazy. This is such good things law enforcement does and this is such nuts crazy things that goes on in law enforcement every day. And it's like this back and forth. And really, if anybody is interested in, like true crime, learning about law enforcement, really learning about it, the good and the bad, if you are interested in that career, you should read it and see what goes on, because it's going to help you make a decision one way or another.
Josh Porthouse:Is this specific to Baltimore? Specific to New York? Where is it at?
Thomas Carchidi:I started I was a police officer in Baltimore. Then I transferred out to Montgomery County, maryland, which is a suburb of DC inside Maryland, on the Maryland side. Then I came back home and I worked as a strong peace officer for 10, 11 years in Brooklyn. So it's Seagate Police Department, so it's all over the place. Like I tell different stories from different places and I changed some of the names, the locales. I don't ever want to call anybody out. My book is not to pinpoint anybody, get anybody in the hot seat, jam them up. My book is just to tell my story and the general story. The only people I name in my book are the people that gave me permission to do good things. Everybody else I don't name and I kind of change details and even places I worked at, even though I'm allowed to mention them legally. Civilly I don't, because I'm not looking to get anybody jammed up. That's not me. I wasn't raised that way. I just want to tell a story.
Josh Porthouse:you know All right, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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Thomas Carchidi:And even places I worked at, even though I'm allowed to mention them legally, civilly I don't, Because I'm not looking to get anybody jammed up. That's not me. I wasn't raised that way. I just want to tell a story, you know.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, that's very interesting. Well, so what is all of this actually done for you? And I don't mean like in terms of monetizing the book, I mean it's the process, the writing, the putting it on paper, the thinking through a bit more deliberately the experiences from then to now. What has it?
Thomas Carchidi:done for you. It's done a lot. I mean mentally. I'm a lot sharper. You know like the more you learn, the more you do. It keeps your mind good, it keeps your mind focused. I'm sharp mentally, you know I'm sharper than I was. All these things help out. It's like building blocks. You know college, high school, college, graduate school, law school, book writing. It helps you learn and become, you know, smarter at certain things, that type of work.
Thomas Carchidi:Right, it's not going to help me with being an engineer or a bricklayer, but the type of way, the way my brain thinks and works and the way I live my life, it makes me better at what I do. Also, like I said, I have a thicker skin because a lot of what I went through, you know I don't really care anymore. Meaning like somebody can say something and whatever man like it, just it makes you stronger. My thing is, and I truly believe this whatever doesn't kill you in life only makes you stronger. Sometimes you've got to be careful because it might not kill you physically but it could break you mentally. That's not good. You don't want to push yourself too far. Military police we see awful things, we go through awful things, but I do believe. The more we we persevere in life, the more we go through, the stronger we are.
Thomas Carchidi:I'm not really fearful of too much, hardly anything like. I'm not. I've seen too much, I've been through too much. You know, stage four cancer, what could it be? East baltimore people throwing sinks off the roof at me, shooting at like, I don't. I don't fear normal things that normal people would. So that helped me in that sense. But in another sense it kind of desensitized me. I'm very, very numb, I'm very hardened. The martial arts also good and bad. Years of pounding, pounding, pounding my body. It's hard, compared to other people it's like a piece of wood, it's like steel sometimes you know. But at what price? You're desensitizing yourself mentally, physically. So I don't know. Is it good to me in my life? It's good some other people it might not be good for living that lifestyle.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah sure, well, that was the other thing I was wondering the impact, then, of desensitizing through the process, working through stuff, getting to a point where you can either make sense of it or communicate it or do something with it better, right, I mean, is it still the same, I guess, experience finding appreciation in some little things, or do you find you tend to more look past little things?
Thomas Carchidi:so I'm not gonna lie to you and this is a conversation I just had with a family member the other day and a couple friends I do find, now that I'm older, for a long time I didn't appreciate the small things, I didn't, and I became numb, like desensitized to almost everything. I got like little to no pleasure out of out of things I used to love, yeah, and then cancer hit and I literally was in a hospital or at home, back breaking. My back was breaking. I had a tumor on my back, tumor my throat, chemo, radiation, spinal taps, bone punctures, this that surgery to put in uh ports, horrible, horrible, like uh, torture, really torture, and uh, I think after that things changed a little bit. Like now I look forward to more.
Thomas Carchidi:After this I I'm going to go help my friend, I'm going to go probably teach jujitsu for a little bit, teach some techniques. I love when people learn. Then I might go out with my friend afterwards for a bite, go to a movie. Small things, they're very simple. I get pleasure out of that. I get more pleasure now because I know life is so short and, yeah, I think for a while I kind of lost my way, but I think in a strange, weird way, the cancer thing kind of put things in perspective a little bit for me.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, it's interesting too. A lot of the the time, regardless of what the cause is, I think, at least in my experience and perception whatever it is that gets us to a bottom shows us everything else, because the light shines through, you know. I mean you're looking up from the bottom, you can see everything.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, when you're looking down into the water, it gets dark fast and you don't know what's down there, how you're going to react. So there's something to be said for diving a bit deeper into humanity, or hanging out on the street and to whatever reason you got to be there, and then recovering through the trauma, through the chaos, learning to process, finding an outlet. I love what you've created as a message, as an example, as a process, and I don't know to what extent that's influencing your family and friends there, but you're global now, so it's anybody's guess. The impact that that's going to have. My theory is some pretty profound insight, though is going to make a very big difference for some people and a very small difference for others, but it makes all the difference to everybody, putting it out there in the first place. So I appreciate what you've done, man, putting it on paper, a willingness and a vulnerability to talk about it, to process it and just to take the action of doing it. I appreciate it, in case nobody else tells you.
Thomas Carchidi:Well, listen, I really appreciate your time, words and positivity you share. Thank you so much.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, man, absolutely. And also thanks for your time. I know it's the evening, I'm sure you're ready to go get dinner, but thanks for making some time to come back and talk a little bit.
Thomas Carchidi:Anytime, I'd love to do it another time. We can do it on another topic. Anything you want, I love it.
Josh Porthouse:Absolutely. I'm totally down to talk to you some more, man, but for right now, for the sake of time, I really only have one other question for you, please. Of all the things you've experienced, the beatdowns that you put on yourself, mentally, emotionally, behaviorally, distancing from people, physically recovering through all your stuff, your experiences being on the force, working through all these things with your family and friends and now looking back, what's it all done for you to actually instigate your sense of self-worth?
Thomas Carchidi:That's a very good question. We could talk for hours. I'm going to try to put it in a box for you. I think everything the good and the bad has taught me Me specifically Never let people put me down.
Thomas Carchidi:There's a lot of people out there that have big egos and big mouths, a false sense of reality, delusion. They don't do anything and they claim to be superheroes. I don't claim to be much, but in reality I know I've done a lot. There's a huge difference and at the end of the day I I absolutely believe without god I wouldn't be here. There's something bigger. Um, there's no way. There's no way this will happen by accident. There's something bigger.
Thomas Carchidi:I believe people can believe what they want. I have my own personal experiences. That's another story for another time. But one day we're going to meet our maker. We're going to have to present our life and accomplishments to him and I definitely believe it doesn't matter if you're a pizza man, carpenter, plumber. It doesn't matter if you're a pizza man, carpenter, plumber, it doesn't matter what you do lawyer, doctor, infantryman, cop, doesn't matter.
Thomas Carchidi:Do it the best you can and do the best you can with your abilities that God gave you and give it back to him. That's how I live my life and I think that's how I want to be known. And, uh, I think that's how I want to be known. And the question to be more specific, I think I'm at a point in my life where I know my worth. Even if I don't ever do anything again for the rest of my life, I know I've lived a good life and I I don't allow people to bring me down, to put me down. I keep my head up. The only way you can do that is really by being somebody and doing the best you can. So it all comes. It's intertwined. See what I'm saying.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, I couldn't phrase it any better, dude. I think you summed it up very well, and so, for everybody that's listened to our conversation or watched it in this case, I hope you guys got something out of it as well. I hope you had an awesome time watching the conversation unfold and listening to Tommy and his perspective, because, unless I'm wrong, this is one of the first few times you've actually digitized your perspective outside of your book, right?
Thomas Carchidi:Yeah, just a couple. I did one or two interviews, but this is really in-depth. Yes.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, just a couple. I did one or two interviews, but this is really in-depth. Yes, well, I'm honored to be a part of your journey, man, and I hope you consider doing more down the road or come back and talk to us. But again, thank you for your perspective. Thank you for your time. Everybody else, head over to our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom. Check out all our other conversations. Here's one thing that you may not find too many other places that I'd like you to check out On the homepage, in the top right corner, is a button that says leave a voicemail.
Josh Porthouse:Click the button. Two minutes Talk time's all yours. Here's my recommendation. One, let us know what you think of the show. Let us know your feedback. Let us know if you want to help contribute time, money, talent, insight. Know somebody that wants to come on the show, tell us about it. Leave the voicemail. But two, tell Tommy what you think about it. Get his book, track it down, read it this conversation, listen to it and leave a voicemail. Give him some feedback, because that's how we all develop and grow through life separately, together. So you've got all sorts of opportunities and, tommy, I don't want to miss this one Anybody who wants to buy your book. You've got all sorts of opportunities and, tommy, I don't want to miss this one.
Thomas Carchidi:Anybody who wants to buy your book, track down some of your insights. Where do they go? So real, simple life in law enforcement police memoir. The good, the bad, the corrupt. It's all over. You can go to book baby, go to amazoncom, go to Barnes and Noble. Just Google Tommy Carchidi, a life in law enforcement. It'll pop right up. And if you don't mind, I just want to say one last thing. My buddy, he was a police officer. He's retired. He switched over and retired from the fire department. We got some upsetting news. His mom has serious, serious cancer and I just wanted to give him a shout out. My buddy Eddie and his mom.
Josh Porthouse:So God bless to them and people out there that are watching to say prayer for Ms Rousseau. Absolutely, absolutely. Thanks for putting it out. Thank you, my friend, definitely, and for right now, that's all the time we've got on Transacting Value. I thank you again for tuning in. Track us down on Facebook, youtube, linkedin, reads Across America Radio and until next time, that was Transacting Value.
Josh Porthouse:Thank you to our show partners and folks. Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together. To check out our other conversations or even to contribute through feedback, follows, time, money or talent, and to let us know what you think of the show, please leave a review on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom. We also stream new episodes every Monday at 9 am, eastern Standard Time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms like Spotify, iheart and TuneIn. You can now hear Transacting Value on Reads Across America Radio, eastern Standard Time, wednesdays at 5 pm, sundays at noon and Thursdays at 1 am. Head to wreathsacrossamericaorg. Slash transactingvalue to sponsor a wreath and remember, honor and teach the value of freedom for future generations On behalf of our team and our global ambassadors, as you all strive to establish clarity and purpose, ensure social tranquility and secure the blessings of liberty or individual sovereignty of character for yourselves and your posterity. We will continue instigating self-worth, and we'll meet you there. Until next time, that was Transacting Value.
