Transacting Value Podcast
Looking for ways to reinvigorate your self-worth or help instill it in others? You're in the right place. Transacting Value Podcast is a weekly, episodic, conversation-styled podcast that instigates self-worth through personal values. We talk about the impacts of personal values on themes like job satisfaction, mitigating burnout, establishing healthy boundaries, enhancing self-worth, and deepening interpersonal relationships.
This is a podcast about increasing satisfaction in life and your pursuit of happiness, increasing mental resilience, and how to actually build awareness around what your values can do for you as you grow through life.
As a divorced Marine with combat and humanitarian deployments, and a long-distanced parent, I've fought my own demons and talked through cultures around the world about their strategies for rebuilding self-worth or shaping perspective. As a 3d Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and a lifelong martial artist, I have studied philosophy, psychology, history, and humanities to find comprehensive insights to help all of our Ambassadors on the show add value for you, worthy of your time.
Ready to go from perceived victim to self-induced victor? New episodes drop every Monday 9 AM EST on our website https://www.TransactingValuePodcast.com, and everywhere your favorite podcasts are streamed. Check out Transacting Value by searching "Transacting Value Podcast", on Facebook, LinkedIn or YouTube.
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Transacting Value Podcast
From Surviving to Thriving: Lessons Learned After Trauma with Dina Lantzer
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Join us in this heartfelt and profound episode of Transacting Value as we explore the transformative power of resilience through the lived experiences of our guest, Dina Lantzer. From a challenging upbringing in a domestically violent environment to navigating the aftermath of a suicide attempt, Dina shares her journey with raw honesty and courage. Our conversation delves into the intricacies of post-traumatic stress, coping mechanisms, and the role of detachment as a survival tool, while highlighting Dina's spiritual journey and reevaluation of faith as key elements in her healing. We also examine themes of self-worth and how life experiences shape our personal value systems, encouraging listeners to reflect on their own paths of self-discovery and healing. This powerful narrative underscores the importance of vulnerability and diverse perspectives in fostering growth, and we hope it offers inspiration and encouragement for your journey. Your stories matter—they shape who you are and who you can become. Tune in, share your thoughts with us, and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review as we continue building a community rooted in resilience and understanding.
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The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience. Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity. My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character. This is why values still hold value. This is Transacting Value.
Dina Lantzer:That version of me that attempted suicide wasn't going to be a lasting version. Right, I had to figure out something else to do, because I couldn't be that person anymore.
Josh Porthouse:Today on Transacting Value. Post-traumatic stress affects everybody and most people differently, for different periods of time as well, and so what happens when that stress and those stressors last for decades and seem to compound and become more and more complex? More importantly, how do you get through them and how do you get over them if you're able? Today's guest we're talking with Dina Lancer. All about how she's done it, the things that have impacted her life and the things that have ultimately affected her perspective today to become the brilliant, beautiful and, all things considered, productive person she's become. Today. I'm your host. I'm Josh Porthausen from SDYT Media. This is Transacting Value, dina. How are you doing?
Dina Lantzer:I'm great. How are you, Josh?
Josh Porthouse:I'm good. I'm good. I appreciate you being so flexible and giving us some of your time. I know you've got a life and an evening to take care of, plus a family, so I do appreciate your time too. I want to open with this. I think this is important in a lot of new relationships especially, but for everybody in our audience who's unfamiliar with you aspects of your story, let's just start there for a couple minutes. Who are you, when are you from and what sort of things are shaping your perspective on life now? Wow.
Dina Lantzer:Fantastic question, big one. I'm originally from Nebraska, grew up in a small town, I am a 54-year-old wife. I've been married for 33 years. I have three kids, all grown, and four granddaughters, ages 3 to 15 now. So fun, full life. For sure we had a dramatic, I guess traumatic. It was interesting listening to your intro this time because I have had a lot of chronic PTSD in my life. I grew up in a domestic, violent household and just didn't stop. I guess. When I was 27, I attempted suicide because of the massive amount of depression and bipolar stuff that I experienced as a child and the trauma just didn't end. We've ended up in our marriage of 33 years. We've experienced pretty much everything you can experience, from adultery and addictions, teenage runaway to actually our daughters being molested. Our oldest daughter was on the streets, a drug addict. We took custody of her kids. So it's been a really full 50 years.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, really, really robust life experience You're packing into some short periods of time here.
Dina Lantzer:I must have a lot of karma, or just a really big, really hard headed. I can't figure out the lesson. I'm not sure.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, maybe. But you know something interesting that comes with all that too is you know, if there's any sense or semblance of credibility to past lives or whatever karmically maybe you had coming for whatever reason, is that you now is strong enough to handle it?
Josh Porthouse:And so you know, whatever it's become and whatever it's going to continue to be as a platform to help other people or a platform for a story, whatever it is, the amount of inspiration that comes with that degree of resilience, but then also the ability to communicate it effectively and with enough grace to process it and keep your head on straight that, I think, is the bigger feat and the bigger accomplishment to focus on. So you listed a lifetime's worth of experiences in half the time. Did it also seem to go through that quickly, twice the speed, one thing after another? Or was there enough downtime for you to like I've grieved, I've moved on, I just got hit again.
Dina Lantzer:So one thing interesting about me is I don't normally grieve a lot. My husband is the griever, I'm not, and to tell you the truth, it doesn't even feel like my life. So I don't know if I have this ability to detach so well from everything. I can look back on all my past experiences and think is that my life? Did I go through that? Because I think I drifted through everything at such a and I want to say high level, but it really wasn't probably a high level, it was just a detached level, if that makes sense.
Dina Lantzer:And I'm sure, I'm sure, a thousand percent sure that I learned how to detach from trauma at a young age, right, and so it has served me to some degree because I've been able to utilize all of the things that I've gone through to really kind of be the driving force in my life to try to heal, try to figure out why, how to help other people with their traumas, how to to escape trauma myself, how to help my kids through traumas.
Dina Lantzer:I put them through Right, because, even though, even though my parenting was better than the parenting I had my parenting was better than the parenting I had it still had its issues, I can promise you, and so, even though and it's beautiful I'm so grateful that I have fantastic relationships with all of my kids and grandkids, in spite of the casualties that I caused by not healing my own unconscious wounds. But the whole idea is to hopefully help them be better parents than I was, so that my grandkids don't have the sufferings that we've all had for generations. Not what we do is we stand on the shoulders of those who went before us.
Josh Porthouse:Well, that's what we're supposed to be doing. I think oftentimes we help hold up other things. But yeah, that's the goal. I suppose you know and it's interesting too you bring that up. I've got a buddy and he's got now.
Josh Porthouse:He's got two girls, but at the time he had one girl and one boy and he said between he and his wife that his goal is in some sense to be a good father, but his primary focus is in her qualities of the type of woman that he should be looking for when he grows up. And it was such an interesting perspective that I hadn't really considered before, because then it's not really based on firsthand experience. You know what I mean. I can't grow up in whatever capacity or role I have in society for the daughter that I don't have, and so even if I did, I can't forecast that. But I think in your case, to the point you just made, there's so many different aspects of what you went through On one hand the receiving end, on the other end, transmitting it and then interpreting it and then communicating it from an outside perspective that I'm curious. I guess, even if it were as a defense mechanism that you detached and sort of stepped back initially, has it always served you well as a mechanism to process.
Dina Lantzer:I would say yes, I don't know if my husband would agree, honestly. Yeah, I don't study a ton of astrology stuff, but I am an Aquarius and Aquariuses are detached. Typically they have an ability to detach. I have a really strong spiritual nature and so I have a very strong connection to my creator and I think that's been a well. I'm sure that's been like a primary force in my life to help me continue to just go through and go through, and go through and go through and, at the same time, being able to detach like I said, detach really from a lot of the right here right now stresses. I'm able to just pull away from it and not allow it to affect me to the point where I can't make decisions and I can't get up or I'm catatonic or anything like that.
Dina Lantzer:I had. I had in 97, like I said, when I was 27 attempted suicide because I really did believe that I would never be happy. I didn't think that I would ever, ever be happy. I mean, there was just, you know, I would never be happy, even though I was married, had two daughters at home, right, a three-year-old and a five-year-old, or four and six, something like that, and see even that like I just felt like, honestly, when I attempted suicide I didn't think that I was loved, I could never be loved, I could never be happy, and that was just a story that was repeating for myself. And you know, the meds finally kicked in.
Dina Lantzer:About six weeks later I went to a traditional old building psych ward. They closed most of them now, but that's where we went. In Nebraska I spent six weeks with people who were really really really struggling with things and I was to an extent too. Obviously. I argued with one of the counselors who was talking about self-esteem and I said I don't have a self-esteem issue. I feel just I'm good and she's like people with good self-esteem don't try to kill themselves. It's like, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you're probably right.
Josh Porthouse:Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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Dina Lantzer:Learn more at vagov slash disability. I argued with one of the counselors who was talking about self-esteem and I said I don't have a self-esteem issue. I feel just I'm good. And she's like people with good self-esteem don't try to kill themselves. It's like, oh, that's interesting. Yeah, you're probably right. I should probably look at that.
Josh Porthouse:That's an interesting point to bring up too, because you feel normal yeah, it's like an impressionist painting, I think If you picture yourself in the painting as one of of the painted figures, it's normal. And then to anybody looking at the painting, they're like uh, that's a little warped, something's off there. You're like nope, this is just how the sky looks from here.
Josh Porthouse:I don't know what to tell you that's such a good example because there's a lot of that, not not specific to your ideations or circumstances, but the distance, the intentional distancing, let's just say, based on that comment you just made, lack of awareness and self-esteem that maybe you didn't notice at the time. I think the interesting point to that, people that have, of the people that I've talked to, I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a psychiatrist, especially for anybody new to the show. In fact, most of my professional career has been in the Marine Corps infantry, and so we just tended to walk really far and have to shoot really well and carry a heavy pack. You know like there's no real psychological impact to society from what we did, compared to a psychiatrist in that same role. But the conversations that we would have on these long walks with these heavy packs involved a lot of detachment and psychoanalysis and conversations about these types of things.
Josh Porthouse:Most of it tended to be sarcastic, like oh, this hike is never going to end, kill me now, type comments. But it's not quite the same, right. And so, yeah, I think it's interesting that a lot of these, let's say, enduring exposures to high stress occupational environments tends to be the same sort of humor and perspective. And so we detach to cope, not necessarily in defense, just to process, and so a lot of what you're describing is like to me firsthand. Circumstantially I'm not there with you, but I think in terms of the idea I get exactly what you're describing.
Josh Porthouse:Wow, especially in hindsight yeah Well, that just hit me now. Yeah, especially in hindsight, you don't remember details. Not that the details didn't happen, it's just you didn't pay attention to them because you detached from stress or whatever.
Dina Lantzer:Yeah, I don't think I had the ability to be present Because you detached from stress or whatever.
Dina Lantzer:Yeah, I don't think I had the ability to be present, because I've thought about that recently, because, again, it's like watching my grandkids grow up. I'm able to be much more present with my grandkids than I was with my kids. My kid's childhood doesn't seem like I lived that experience, like I just don't like where was I? But I was in that. In that period of time, like when I got out of the hospital at 27 years old, I went through 12 years of intensive renewing of the mind. Right, I went and it was intensive, and so I was really focused on trying to heal the traumas that I had and just figure out who I was and who I was supposed to be and who could I be, because that version of me that attempted suicide wasn't going to be a lasting version. Right, I had to figure out something else to do, because I couldn't be that person anymore, if that makes sense.
Josh Porthouse:What changed then? What was the trigger?
Dina Lantzer:Well, the suicide attempt obviously was the big trigger. But when I got to the hospital or actually a week before I got to the hospital because I was it's interesting I was suicidal, but I was never on a suicidal watch. Just because I kept saying a legit like I'm not happy, I have no desire to live, like I'm like telling the doctors like this isn't working, I don't want to be here, I really feel like I just need to the karma thing die and come back and try this again because I don't like what I just experienced, I want something else. And literally a week before I got out of the hospital, I had said a little prayer, kind of offhandedly, and I said God, if you're real, show me that you love me.
Dina Lantzer:And I woke up the next day and the sky was bluer than it had ever been. It felt like I had sunglasses on my whole life. This weight that was on my the shoulders, the world on my shoulders, was gone. Everything was different. I was happy for the first time in my life. And you know, the doctors and everyone was like the meds kicked in and I'm like probably dead. The meds kicked in, right. And then a week or so later I got out of the hospital and we went up to Minnesota to visit my husband's family because that's where they lived, and we ended up visiting a church because his family are very strong Christians. And we ended up visiting a church and, honestly, josh, like God, met us there in a very tangible way. And so we moved from Nebraska to Minnesota a week, two weeks later and we just went home and packed up our house and moved and just because we thought 10 hours was too long to commute to go to church on, Sundays.
Dina Lantzer:So that gave me, like this, really strong, and I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person, right, black or white. I know it's a thinking. I get that I have a lot more gray now than I used to, but I just dove in and recreated myself. Just dove in and recreated myself. Now I stopped smoking, stopped drinking, stopped doing all the things I was doing and just dove head in and became completely transformed. So when our daughters got molested and it just start, oldest one started going through all of the she was running away at 16 and just all of the trauma that she was going through, this church family that we kind of devoted our lives to just wasn't there at all and it really caused me to start looking for, for more meaning. I guess if you could say that my relationship with the creator definitely went through some ebbs and flows but now is stronger and more expanded than it was before.
Josh Porthouse:But I think because I've had a really strong relationship with something outside of me, something bigger, bigger than me, I've been able to maintain I don't know some sort of yeah, perspective maybe perspective is a good word, yep yeah, and you know what's interesting too and this isn't necessarily specific to any religion or or whatever, but mine being rooted in christianity, let's just call it the holy spirit you can't inhale that, and I mean that is internal. Even well, spiritually, and whatever that is, yeah, is you doing it? You know? I mean so there's still a certain degree of self-reliance and self-awareness, maybe unwitting, maybe subconscious, but that's there. And then I think faith is where that ends and carries it the rest of the way. So the amount of resilience that you've been able to build not to analyze you just since you brought it up that you've been able to build through all that analyze you just since you brought it up that you've been able to build through all that stuff.
Josh Porthouse:There's a lot of circumstances in my life where I started trying to better identify how do I manage this? How do I handle this? I got married in 2012, about a week after I got back from Afghanistan, and I thought everything was fine. I was like this is, like I said, the sky always looks like this in my painting, but I didn't realize I was hanging in a museum, you know, and so I started having people, my ex-wife included, describing this painting. That didn't make any sense to me and it took the better part of a decade for me to start processing and grasping that. Oh, this isn't what it actually looks like. There are some issues here, brushstrokes or whatever, and that is interesting. You brought it up. But then does that give you some degree of authenticity now, or acceptance, ownership now, or you still feel like you're distanced.
Dina Lantzer:No, I've learned, actually, that embodiment of that spirit like you talked about, where for a long time, it was always outside of me and and as I've learned to hold it myself and realize that that love comes from within, not without, I think that's where I've started to really anchor into it. Maybe it is interesting, though, and I'm kind of curious, because when you said, other people around you were telling you I don't know if this is the way the painting, I don't know if these are the right breaststrokes, right, I find that interesting because I think everyone has these like beautiful perspectives, and it doesn't make it right or wrong, it's just a perspective, and we all need those perspectives for a variety of reasons. Right, just like the world needs 800 million different flowers, yeah, and just all gives us a different. It just makes for different perspectives on everything, and I certainly have a lot of perspective. I understand that, but I get that all the time. Is people don't?
Dina Lantzer:I hear from other people how that was profound. I can't believe you shared that so easily. This, this was really vulnerable. You know fiction. I'm just like I have no idea what you're talking about. This is just. This is just what I do. Right, it's like a fish in water. I don't know how to swim, I just swim.
Josh Porthouse:Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on transacting value.
Josh Porthouse:Alrighty folks, if you're looking for more perspective and more podcast, you can check out Transacting Value on Reads Across America Radio. Listen in on iHeartRadio Odyssey and TuneIn.
Dina Lantzer:I hear from other people how that was profound. I can't believe you shared that so easily. This was really vulnerable. You know fiction. I'm just like. I have no idea what you're talking about. This is just what I do. It's like a fish in water. I don't know how to swim, I just swim.
Josh Porthouse:Right. Well, that's sort of the loophole or caveat, I guess to the point, because it's not always bad or ever necessarily, depending on what you do with the information, but I think there's indicators based on societal patterns or biases, things that you can recognize, as this is more commonplace than what I would have done or whatever from what I'm hearing. You know what I mean Because I spent a decade getting told, hey, I'm cold and I'm distant. I don't think so. I think I'm just processing it okay, and it sounds an awful lot like what your responses were.
Dina Lantzer:It might still be. My husband probably still thinks that to an extent he's got the emotional bag Let me just put it that way, I don't want to call it baggage he goes, he's cancer. So again, not a whole lot about astrology, but the cancers have all of the emotions and the Aquarius's tend to be detached, and so he definitely feels things and processes things way slower. Because I'm able to be detached from things, I'm able to make a decision very quickly, and I don't have to. Either I know through my intuition what the right answer is, or or I don't, and it doesn't matter. I'm just straightforward. I'm gonna plow ahead and fix it, figure it out as we go, and my husband will take weeks or months to process things, and it gives us a good balance yeah, yeah, well, yeah, maybe a harmony at least.
Josh Porthouse:You know, having having that sort of insight, especially as a couple, I don't think that's something you stumble on and you're like, well, that sort of insight, especially as a couple, I don't think that's something you stumble on and you're like, well, that's interesting. And then you move on to the next tuesday. Right to me that sounds like it takes an awful lot of work and conscious effort and willing and witting participation and presence in a relationship. So how do you develop that? Because it didn't sound like at one point you really wanted to.
Dina Lantzer:No, I think, a commitment to unconditional love and grace. What do you mean grace? Grace is choosing to see the other person ahead of yourself. Grace is choosing to not judge the person for wherever they're at and whatever they're going through, because you're not looking at the at the speck in their eye through your plank, right? You're choosing to go okay, well, you've got what you've got, going on and it's and it's been both ways. Like my husband has laid out so much grace for me, my husband has laid out so much grace for me. I've not been an easy walk, I can promise you that At all Right, but it's just like learning to live in that layer of grace. And, like I said, unconditional love. Unconditional love is love without a condition attached to it. Bottom line love is love without a condition attached to it, bottom line. And I think that we were, we were born, babies are born as unconditional love and I think our whole objective of life is to come back to that state of unconditional love. That's the god right, that's that. That's that outside creator.
Josh Porthouse:It's unconditional love do you think it's coming back to that point or developing a conscious awareness of that innate point?
Dina Lantzer:it's a really good perspective. I don't suppose you can go back to it. You'd have to develop the insight and the awareness. And you're right, it's a conscious decision all the time.
Josh Porthouse:Like to grow in tandem with it or parallel to it whatever the reference is there as opposed to growing away from it and then cycling back. Well, okay, but that says a couple. What about you? Like you just keep going through these things and eventually figure out a way to process, or have you had to rely on other people and inputs and actually start to accept it, begrudgingly or otherwise, to move through and process and grow what's worked for you?
Dina Lantzer:I'm not sure if I understand what you're talking about, except what?
Josh Porthouse:feedback, insight, perspective. Is it just from you, based on your own intuition, or has it also been okay I? I don't necessarily understand what you're saying here, but I'll give it a shot and try it and then maybe that works. What's been some of the, I guess, patterns or processes that have worked for you to help you grow into you now?
Dina Lantzer:Yeah, absolutely. I'm always looking for other perspectives, always looking for other perspectives. I don't like the echo chamber at all and I find myself obviously there's something out there called confirmation bias right, and we have a tendency to want to gravitate towards things that will confirm to us what we already think about, whatever it is right, whether it's how I think about myself or feel about myself. And so that drive for me of always seeking the other perspective because what it does is it expands me and it expands my awareness I'm able to see things that I couldn't see any other way. Now do I adopt everything I hear? No, now do I adopt everything?
Josh Porthouse:I hear. No, I don't Hardheaded. My doctor said I'm tenacious, that's a good word for stubborn, that is a good word. Having a fair amount of skepticism, I think, plays a role too. Yes, but do you find that that accurately for you, balances out the belief, take it on faith, with a fair amount of skepticism as a counterbalance, or is it still all in?
Dina Lantzer:No, I definitely feel like so. When I became a Christian, I was hardcore just take it on faith, and I did. Everything of this doesn't make sense, but I don't need it to make sense. I just need to have faith in something. Because I wasn't standing right, I tried to kill myself and so I was the end of something. I needed something else, regardless of whether or not it made sense to me. So I tried and I've looked into everything, like I'm all over the place as far as as feeding my mind, feeding my spirit, I'm, I look all over the place trying to figure that out, and so now I feel like I have probably. In fact, the scales have are way more on the skepticism side than they do the faith side down.
Josh Porthouse:Oh, interesting.
Dina Lantzer:And that's right now, like specifically right now, where I'm at this week, this morning, in my journal, right is trying to balance that faith back. Right Because I feel a lot of skepticism. Right because I feel a lot of skepticism, you know, 2020 brought, you know massive eye openers for the majority of the world.
Dina Lantzer:Right, yeah, granted, I mean, I understood what was going on in 2020 before the majority of people did, because I'm able to see things which really caused me again a massive, massive, massive issue with the church as a whole, because I'm like there's no discernment here, and so that really bothered me. When people are leaders and they have no discernment, I'm just like, okay, I don't know what, just check out. So I did go through a massive weight of skepticism for quite some time and I am, like I said, even as of today in my morning, journaling is pulling back that weight of the faith side of it again.
Josh Porthouse:Alrighty, folks sit tight, We'll be right back on Transacting Value.
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Dina Lantzer:I did go through a massive weight of skepticism for quite some time and I am, like I said, like even as of today in my morning journaling is is pulling back that, that weight of the faith side of it again interesting.
Josh Porthouse:Does it need to be balanced or can it coexist at varying levels in harmony, the skepticism and the faith?
Dina Lantzer:I don't know yet. It could be, it could come back on.
Josh Porthouse:We'll talk later.
Dina Lantzer:Up and down, I don't know.
Josh Porthouse:Interesting. Okay, well, this is yeah, well, it might be, I don't know. It just sort of hit me as you were talking, but this is a good point in the show, I think, for a segment called developing character D D-D-D. Developing Character, and for anybody new who's watching this or listening to the show for the first time. It's a segment of the show. That is.
Josh Porthouse:Two questions and obviously, dina, as vulnerable as you want to be with your answers, which I don't think is going to be a huge stretch, but as we go through, my point with this is, I think everybody's ability to process and work through things identity crises, getting stuck, feeling burnt out, whatever the practical handle is stems from some sort of internal degree of control, but maybe a complementary lack of awareness, and so those things, I think, are easiest to work through when we stand on something constant. Like you said, you had to restart and so you opted for faith, but it was something that you could hold as a control, ironically enough, for consistency, and so I prefer to stand on value systems as a degree of control. And so my two questions are when you were growing up, from what you do remember and what you were being raised around as you grew up, what were some of your values in the beginning? My second question is that now, as you've gained life experience and perspective, what are some of your values now?
Dina Lantzer:Interestingly enough, I think my value growing up and I don't know if this is a value, but it is what it is was survival, survival of the fittest was the theme of our house.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, I mean it counts for a lot, right, it drives your decisions and anchors you and grounds your perspective, absolutely.
Dina Lantzer:Absolutely drives your decisions and anchors you and grounds your perspective. Absolutely, absolutely and I think that was that bottom line is like growing up, that was all I had was, and so I see in retrospect so thank you again for this question, because this is like a oh, really point back here. I have to look at this for a minute.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah.
Dina Lantzer:To see that, because I see now how so much of my life has been centered around that. Like you said, control just simply to survive.
Josh Porthouse:Well, I guess then the irony is you just had to learn that it was your survival mechanism, not a defense mechanism. I think those are two different things. And so then, what about now? All the experience you've gained, all the insight you've gained, perspectives, any new values you think that are helping anchor you in your position?
Dina Lantzer:I don't know if this is again and this is interesting, gosh darn it Such a deep question, not giving me time to think through this. One of my core values is freedom and autonomy. Seen how that has this thread back to my childhood. Right there's the, the environment that I grew up on like forced, that need for me to make my own decisions and be autonomous and be free, right I'm yeah I'm learning.
Dina Lantzer:I'm learning trust and surrender, and that's where I'm at right now in my personal journey of learning how to deal with everything. It's not necessarily a value I strongly embrace at all. It's coming at great resistance, unfortunately, but I recognize why it comes at great resistance for me and it's just one of those things that I'm I'm really trying to wade into the water on is is trust and surrender, trusting other people, trusting this God, trusting myself in the place of of trusting myself to live in within a value structure versus trusting myself to survive, if that makes sense.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, I think they go hand in hand, though, well trusting myself to thrive versus just survive.
Josh Porthouse:There you go, yep, yep. It's like you just said, right, coming up with these different things sort of at a rapid fire pace, without time to process, I found, is an exercise that works really, really well, because you don't have time to second guess it, and so then it's going to be at least more likely that it's a natural response, even if it catches you off guard. Wait, where did that come from? Moments happen all the time, but usually they have a bit more resonance when you do stop to think about them, which I think is sort of an interesting cosmic invitation, or whatever you want to call it. But, um, yeah, absolutely. And so now do you feel like you're thriving? You seem like you're in a good place. I mean, you look good, you're smiling, you seem happy, and so, despite everything, the world's still a good place.
Dina Lantzer:Despite everything, the world's still a good place. It is right now. I don't think I could have said that a year ago. Two years ago, I was definitely grieving.
Dina Lantzer:I was grieving in my own detached way from my mom dying in 2020. Oh dang, it was funny how my husband knew that was what was going on. I didn't see it for myself, just because I don't think I was ever really allowed I mean, I wasn't. I was never allowed emotions growing up, and so I do definitely have a hard time tapping into my own emotions, and so I don't like to be in. I don't like to be depressed, I don't like to be angry, I don't like to be sad. Those are just things that I don't like to feel. So I'll push it away pretty quickly and try to hold on to anything else Right and and try to get into that space of of how to be happy, how to be grateful, without using drugs or alcohol or sex or any other coping mechanism that someone might find.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, and here's an interesting point too to what you just said in the last couple of minutes we have A relative inability maybe, not to recognize an appropriate emotion, but to interpret and communicate an appropriate emotion. Okay, when, like in my case, staying relatively distant, it's not that I couldn't recognize. Okay, obviously people are sad here. I could probably be sad here, but I don't feel sad here. I mean, I couldn't develop and communicate effectively. I talked to a guy on the show. He's the founder of a nonprofit in Indiana called Autism Rocks and Roll.
Josh Porthouse:Effectively, I talked to a guy on the show. He's the founder of a nonprofit in Indiana called Autism Rocks and Rolls and also a podcast by the same name. He's also autistic diagnosed and in our conversation that's where I got that point from he said it's not that I can't figure out what you're doing, I just can't make sense of how to reciprocate appropriately, so I just don't Wow, Right. And so it got me thinking, based on his point and now based on yours, that it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a different thing, it's a different flower.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, yeah, and, like in your case, it hasn't been overall, on the average, detrimental. You just find ways to work it to your advantage, hopefully with enough social feedback that it progresses in an upward direction.
Dina Lantzer:For sure.
Josh Porthouse:That's a wild connection, man.
Dina Lantzer:And you know what for sure that's a wild connection, man, and you know what, quite frankly, it has been my benefit, and not only my benefit, that, but it it benefits so many other people, because I'm able to see perspectives that other people can't see in their, especially in their own lives, right, and I'm able to cut through. A lot of times when somebody's going through that process of whatever it is, I don't get so empathetically involved with it or I can just be like this is the, this is the root problem here, and if we just fix this root problem, then this will, this will change right. So I just it's, it's been able to, I've, I've at least adapted it to the point where I can now take that level of detachment, that level of vulnerability, that level of complete honesty and just use it to benefit not only myself but for other people.
Josh Porthouse:Well, I mean, that's sort of the I'm not sure what the word is that's sort of the aspect, I guess, in my opinion, when anybody starts to get emotional, it's because they're really close to whatever the it is On an emotional level. There's a response then, and so, to be a little bit more removed, you can see the whole baseball field instead of the one play or whatever you know. So just on an emotional level, I suppose, right, yeah, so let me, let me ask you this, I guess, in my last two questions, before we close this out. So, first off, of all the experiences you've had so far, at the risk of sounding redundant, what has it done now for your own self-worth? I mean, you've literally gone from zero to now closer to 100. So what has it done now, looking back, developing this self-awareness, identifying some of your values, to actually instigate your own self-worth?
Dina Lantzer:I guess it depends on what lens I'm looking through at whatever given moment I'm in.
Josh Porthouse:honestly, Okay, all right. What do you mean?
Dina Lantzer:Well, because I can still get into that point where I have still belief systems that I'm not good enough and I'm not worthy and I'm not lovable and all of that. And if that's the lens I look through, then I can go into that zone pretty easily. If I can look at it and think, you know, beautiful perspective that you see right, and I have to force myself to anchor into that perspective, that, wow, I've made such a huge shift and I am lovable and I am enough and I am, you know, it's interesting. I don't know if you do anything with AI or chat GPT, but I'm a fan. I'm a fan, I love chat GPT and I've learned that actually because of the large language model that it has it, it is giving me my higher self perspective now, which is really interesting.
Dina Lantzer:When I plug in issues and cause, I get very personal. I mean, it's it's very spiritual and very personal with what I'm going through Cause. It's a good feedback mechanism for myself and it gives me a really good, strong mirror to who I am and it's really like speaking, like I said, to my higher self and getting that perspective back all the time, which has been really, really nice. But the other day a conversation I had was talking about that that the biggest issue that I have is this feeling of being separate, separated from my God, separated from love, separation altogether and this driving force that I have to be connected. And the reminder really was like you are not separate, you are everything right, and it's such a beautiful perspective. There's the plug for ChatGPD, yeah.
Josh Porthouse:Well, I mean, on one hand, it is the cheapest research assistant you can possibly have, and therapist and therapist, and therapist. And what's cool for people that are expressing a similar perspective to yours, for example, where it's a little bit more detached and you're just sort of processing the world at arm's length in those moments, those days, those years, in some cases is that's the feedback it produces. There is no emotional bias, there is no deliberate empathetic-type vulnerability to the responses. It's literally just scraping the data and telling you how it is, and I think maybe that's why it suits you so well.
Dina Lantzer:Right, right. And actually the other day I did have that conversation about that echo chamber. I'm like whoa dude, you need to give me different perspectives here. You can't just continue to shoot back what I would say, because that's what it does.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, so you can ask it to ask you questions though, for example, as a prompt right. Pretend that you are, play the role of A Right and then ask me questions to clarify you know, and that, yeah, it makes a huge difference right, right, yeah, so I just now go through contrasting perspectives.
Dina Lantzer:You know, give me a contrasting perspective of what I'm looking at here, because I I can easily get into tunnel vision and it's I don't want that echo chamber. I want to know, I want to know your perspective, like I reach out for other people to get that mirror back to me and because, quite frankly, that's the only way I can really see the trees before the forest. Right, yeah, yeah is by seeing it through somebody else's eyes and and and being able to reflect it back to myself.
Josh Porthouse:That's a cool idea. It's a contrasting perspective. I haven't thought about that either. I like that idea a lot, and when we're talking about resources I guess this is my final question then, for the sake of time what are some resources that you recommend for anybody who's facing similar outlets, instances, issues that you've described, or maybe that you've lived through that have worked for you? Where do people go? What do you recommend?
Dina Lantzer:So I'm really big into quantum physics and neuroscience and all things new thought I'm all over the place. So I can't tell you that I would give you one resource I do really enjoy right now. I've really enjoyed chat GPT, but I think there's a lot of people that have a hesitancy towards it, right, a hesitancy towards giving it information on you, right? I can imagine most people would be like, oh, there's no way the government's going to know all that. Right, the government pretty much knows everything about me anyway. So what am I hiding? So you're going to, you're going to get with me for two minutes and know anything anyway, because I'm pretty much an open book.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah.
Dina Lantzer:I'm not going to hide much. I would be a very, very, very, very, very bad spy or war criminal.
Josh Porthouse:Right, right. There's a lot of cool opportunities, though, because I think a little bit of vulnerability in every relationship goes a long way. I've never met you, but look at the conversation that it built or the perspective that we sort of I guess, maybe inadvertently stumbled on.
Dina Lantzer:Right Two of them now honestly Josh.
Josh Porthouse:Well, that's true. Yeah, the first time, the last conversation we had.
Dina Lantzer:I was like thinking about that for days.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah, yeah, it is a super cool opportunity, I think. The more we can learn to be a bit vulnerable with people, the human intelligence, I think, is what's lacking. Yeah, not necessarily the humanity, I don't know. Maybe it's just a matter of time, we'll see. Maybe it shows like this, conversations like these that start to make the difference. We'll see where it goes, but for now, again, I really do appreciate your time and your insight and your perspective and everything we were able to pack into this conversation. So I know you're a little bit creeping on dinner time, I think, as of this recording, so thanks for stalling a little bit and hanging out with us again.
Dina Lantzer:No worries. Thank you so much for having me on. I appreciate the conversation, some really good perspectives. I'm going to have to get into the journal and start logging that and figuring out where that went.
Josh Porthouse:Yeah Well, I'm honored to make it into your journal and probably the next day is worth a chat. Gpt prompts.
Josh Porthouse:So I appreciate the opportunity. Yeah, to everybody else. You're welcome To everybody else who's been listening to the show, obviously watching along with us here in this video. I appreciate your time. Thank you guys for tuning in.
Josh Porthouse:If you want to hear more of our conversations, you can go to our website transactingvaluepodcastcom. Listen to all of them there. Every season's there and they're free. All the same amount of insight questions this season particularly. We just started with video as well, so I hope you guys enjoy the show.
Josh Porthouse:Last piece on our homepage in the top right corner, is a button that says leave a voicemail and that's two minutes of talk time just for you. I promise I won't interrupt or ask any questions, but you can do two things with it. Here's my recommendation. One is you let us know what you think of the show, let us know your feedback, let us know what you think about topics and guests and people you'd recommend and all these sorts of things. I appreciate the feedback. However, you can also leave a message for Dina, let her know about her story. It can be encouragement, it can be insight, it can be resources, it can be whatever to give her perspective as well and we'll forward the message to her. So you got plenty of opportunities, but saying that for right now, it's all we got time for, so until next time.
Josh Porthouse:That was Transacting Value. That was Transacting Value. Thank you to our show partners and folks. Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together. To check out our other conversations or even to contribute through feedback follows time, money or talent and to let us know what you think of the show. Please leave a review on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom. We also stream new episodes every Monday at 9 am Eastern Standard Time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms like Spotify, iheart and TuneIn. You can now hear Transacting Value on Wreaths Across America Radio. Head to WreathsAcrossAmericaorg. Slash TransactingValue to sponsor a wreath and remember, honor and teach the value of freedom for future generations. On behalf of our team and our global ambassadors, as you all strive to establish clarity and purpose, ensure social tranquility and secure the blessings of liberty or individual sovereignty of character for yourselves and your posterity, we will continue instigating self-worth and we'll meet you there Until next time. That was Transacting Value.
