Escaping Iran & Rebuilding from Ashes with Soodabeh Mokry

Fleeing Iran during the 1979 revolution, she arrived in America to discover the husband she'd sacrificed everything to join no longer wanted a family. With two young children, no English skills, no money, and no support system, Soodabeh Mokry faced a choice: surrender to despair or forge an entirely new identity. Her journey from that breaking point to becoming a registered nurse with nearly 40 years of experience, bestselling author, and transformational coach offers profound lessons in resilience and purpose-finding. 

From Escaping the Rule of the Iranian Government to Becoming an Inspirational Speaker, Author, & Transformational Coach - "Every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose."

(14:30) https://www.wreathsacrossamerica.org/Newsroom/WreathsAcrossAmericaRadio

(27:25) https://porthouse.kw.com/

(37:00) https://heavenslightwellness.com/

Learn more about Soodabeh by visiting her website at https://soodabehmokry.com/

• Amazon #1 Best Selling Author of Emerging You
• Author of the immigration memoir, Angel Nightingale
• Motivational Speaker
• Certified Hypnotist 
• Transformational Coach for High Performing Women

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Sudubeh's Revolution Journey
• 7:13 Escaping Iran and Betrayal in America
• 14:30 Transforming Trauma into Purpose
• 23:16 Rock Bottom to Spiritual Awakening
• 34:14 The Power of Physical and Spiritual Health
• 44:11 Crafting Values and Writing Her Story

Transcript

Josh Porthouse: 0:00

The views expressed in this podcast are solely those of the podcast host and guest and do not necessarily represent those of our distribution partners, supporting business relationships or supported audience. Welcome to Transacting Value, where we talk about practical applications for instigating self-worth when dealing with each other and even within ourselves, where we foster a podcast listening experience that lets you hear the power of a value system for managing burnout, establishing boundaries, fostering community and finding identity. My name is Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and we are redefining sovereignty of character. This is why values still hold value. This is Transacting Value.

Soodabeh Mokry: 0:49

Every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose.

Josh Porthouse: 1:01

Today on Transacting Value. Who can you become when the world seems to have turned its back on you and fallen apart, when you've lost your identity, your relationships and even your culture? We're talking with author, registered nurse and transformational coach, sudubeh Mokri all about what that was like for her when she fled in 1979, during the Iranian revolution. I'm Josh Porthouse, I'm your host and from SDYT Media. This is Transacting Value. Sudebay, how are you doing?

Soodabeh Mokry: 1:37

I am doing well. Thank you so much, josh, for giving me this opportunity, and I'm so excited to just have our conversation.

Josh Porthouse: 1:47

Absolutely. You've got such a cool story and, on top of everything, you basically learned it all from scratch. As an adult, I almost don't even know where to start, except to just let you start. So let's take a couple minutes and set the stage. Start. So let's take a couple minutes and set the stage. Who are you A little bit about? Where you're from, or what sort of things are shaping your perspective on the world today?

Soodabeh Mokry: 2:12

Yes, that's a great question, josh. Thank you. I am originally from Iran. I moved to America in November of 1990. So it's about like 34 years ago and, yeah, life changed. Life changed the way that I did not even expect it, because I was married, we had two children together. We both were activists, you know, fighting for freedom in Iran, specifically after the revolution took place in 1979. And we didn't have the freedom that we wanted. We wanted peace, we wanted to make sure that our children are going to grow up to have a good life, because, prior to the revolution took place, iran was like a westernized country, like America. We had a great relationship with European countries. With America, my cousins, my mom's, aunts and, you know, friend and family will come like spring break or summer vacation in America or France or other countries. I never had to, you know, wear cover my hair or my face or anything until when the revolution took place in 79.

Soodabeh Mokry: 3:38

And when I moved to America in 1990, the hope was with my husband at the time, who had to escape the country, country of Iran, three years before I came and joined him and he was yes, he was the father of my kids the time that he had to escape from. Where he communicated with me was my life is in danger, the government is coming after me and part of the group that he was, you know, working with to fight for freedom which I had no idea who they were or anything, because of safety, he wouldn't, you know, talk to me about it, war or anything, because of safety, he wouldn't, you know, talk to me about it. And some of the people were cut by the government and he said that my life is in danger and I had to leave. At that time, we had a four and a half year old son and I was seven months pregnant, yes, yes, and I was a nurse, I was working in a hospital and the only thing that I knew that my life is in danger and my kids, my husband. So the only choice that I had in that matter to say, that's okay, go. And he had a brother and sister in America, actually in Portland, where I live, and he said that he had already talked with his family before he come and tell me about the decision, and just to figure out whether I say yes or no. So in that, I said yes. So in that I said yes, because if you are going to stay here. From what I hear from you, you're not going to be alive and my kids are not. Our kids are not going to have a father. So I accepted the fact that he escaped and it's a long story and we're not going to go there.

Soodabeh Mokry: 5:42

But it took him three years and I had to really work very hard. I was having a job, working 15 days in a row, one day off, 15 days in a row because I didn't have any support and I had to be able to provide. You know, my second child was born and for my family I was back living with my mom, but still it was difficult because it wasn't to income anymore, it was my income. So I literally work really hard and taking care of the kids and making sure going from my mom's home to my mother-in-law's home, to my sister-in-law's home, because I had to go around so the government doesn't come and find me.

Soodabeh Mokry: 6:36

None of my co-workers knew that I was alone. They didn't know when I went to hospital that gave birth and nobody knew that my husband wasn't there. So, coming three years of going through the scariest time of my life, when I came here I found out that he didn't want to be married. He didn't want to have kids. He didn't want to have anything. Have kids, he didn't want to have anything. So you can imagine that I am here after three years of hard work and suffering and pain, losing my brother in a car accident and so much that is in the book, and I'm not going to go there. And I'm here and he said I don't want you and he said I don't want you.

Josh Porthouse: 7:28

That's how my life changed. Yeah, and so everything you were relying on and leaning on and standing on was gone. But by that point you're in the states yes and so I mean, at least you spoke english, right?

Soodabeh Mokry: 7:40

no, I. I didn't have money. I didn't. I mean I had the money that after I sell everything and I brought the money and he took the money. I didn't have a family, I didn't have friends and I couldn't speak English Nothing. So I had to. I didn't know where my life is going.

Josh Porthouse: 8:02

At the time. If my math's right, this is with a seven-year-old and a three-year-old Correct, who also don't speak English Correct, and actually only one of two probably even spoke Persian at the time. Well enough to do anything Correct, wow, okay. Anything correct, wow, okay. And now you're a registered nurse correct? Almost 40 years of experience, an author of two books yes, and obviously an experienced coach yes, all on transformation and resilience. So how do you get from one to the other?

Soodabeh Mokry: 8:44

Yes, thank you for asking that question and that is the reason that I'm here. I am talking with you and that's the reason that I appear on podcasts. That's the reason I write books, because everything that I experienced after coming here, considering that, the trauma that I experienced in life growing up, you know, when I was first year nursing student, when, one year after revolution took place, I was captured, I was tortured, I was beaten into a coma. I experienced eight years of war between Iran and Iraq, that crazy time. So I came here with a lot of trauma and when I came here and my life was upside down, I thought that my life is not worth living and I attempted to end my life. Obviously, I'm sitting here and talking with you and that didn't work. And then I started praying. I said I had one glimpse of hope that helped me. If you don't let me go, if you don't let me die, god, whoever is out there? You know when you're desperate, you are asking whoever is out there. I was beaten into a coma. I was working as a nurse. With all the things that I experienced during the war, of so many life and death situation, why am I still here? And that is the basis and the foundation of what I want to talk with people to. When we have that conscious decision, when we make that conscious decision that I am going to do something and I'm going to figure it out and just help me universe, god, whatever that you know our beliefs is and the doors of opportunities open up.

Soodabeh Mokry: 10:49

And as I was okay, one step at a time, I had to go to school, learn English. I had to go, and again, because I couldn't work as a nurse, I had to go back to school, become a nurse and get my degree here and everything. Yeah, of course, everything. Just because I was a nurse over there did not mean that I could go take a board exam and become a nurse. But everything that I experienced along the way, it just shifted my whole belief system, my old belief that I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough, I never felt that I belonged anywhere, even in my country, even in my family growing up. And every little step that I'm getting goosebumps as I talk about it, every step that I took trying to learn to communicate with other people, and I believe a higher power I call God, opened the doors and people, strangers in a different country. They opened their hearts and they opened their wallet. And they opened their wallet and they started coming to me and with that little bit of English that I could, you know, get the point across and for some miraculous way, I would understand what people were saying and they will understand what I'm saying.

Soodabeh Mokry: 12:22

And I have no idea, I have no explanation for that supernatural part of miraculous part of my life. And I shifted. I became a different person and instead of being angry at my husband for doing that, I was angry at the beginning. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a saint, trust me, and I'm not perfect.

Soodabeh Mokry: 12:47

But I started looking at my life and the second chances that I got in life to look at the thing, look at life with a different perspective. That God, universe source, gave me a second chance in life and now I am in control and now I am the one that I can make decision, because my husband used to tell me you cannot make decision. My mother used to tell me you cannot do anything. So all of those things, I was blessed that I didn't have anybody to tell me I was wrong here. I had to make a decision and every decision that I made, every little step that I took brought me closer to becoming who I am and finding my life purpose.

Soodabeh Mokry: 13:39

My purpose was my life was being saved because I can be here. I can be the deliverer of messages of hope, of healing, of peace, of unity. We look at life with a different perspective, but once we change it and look at through the glasses of gratitude and all the blessings that we have, you know, as a nurse I'm an oncology nurse taking care of cancer patients and I see how life could change in a blink of an eye. And I am sitting here, I can talk, I can speak, I can walk, and all of that even if I don't have anything. That is a blessing, that is a miracle. It's just shifting the way that we look at life.

AD: 14:25

Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

Josh Porthouse: 14:30

Alrighty folks, if you're looking for more perspective and more podcasts, you can check out Transacting Value on Reads Across America Radio. Listen in on iHeartRadio, odyssey and TuneIn.

Soodabeh Mokry: 14:43

I am sitting here, I can talk, I can speak, I can walk and all of that, even if I don't have anything. That is a blessing, that is a miracle. It's just shifting the way that we look at life. I hope I answered your question. I talk a lot.

Josh Porthouse: 14:58

Well, that's okay, you did, and I got to say that among all of the other points. One of the crazy things that you brought up is you started all of this reinvention in your 30s. Yes, so you know, you think about, let's just say even occupationally, nurses, first responders, service members, and this is any country and this is any country, but let's just say occupationally that group 20 years, 30 years old. You know, 20 years in the career, 30 years old, in some cases, late thirties get out and you're lost, but you can communicate, you can focus, you have skillsets, you have things in common as reference points with other people, and you had none of that and you had to totally start over. Yes, so, on one hand, the amount of progress you've made and what you've been able to accomplish reinventing your perspective and actually building your career and your life back into something is huge. So congratulations, first of all.

Josh Porthouse: 16:03

Absolutely the second thing I wanted to bring up about what you just said, though in doing all of those things you said, people helped you, people that probably had no reason to. Frankly, I mean, we're talking. What was happening then? The Berlin Wall came down, obviously, ussr came down or, you know, broke apart all sorts of just global foreign policy politics were happening obviously throughout the middle east as well, and so then you ended up in california first, or oregon first oregon first.

Soodabeh Mokry: 16:40

Yes, I am in oregon okay.

Josh Porthouse: 16:42

so you end up up in Oregon and somehow you just get into a university or you get into a nursing program. I'm sure it started way before that too, academically. Okay, so you go through all of these processes, you start working through all of these things. What was it for you? Do you think, the impact of these triggers that you had People saying you can't do it, people saying you're not good enough, right? What was it for you about these triggers that drove you to succeed instead of give up?

Soodabeh Mokry: 17:17

Oh, that's a wonderful question, josh. Yes, it's okay to become upset, it is okay to become angry. I just use that force. You know, when you are triggered. The other day I was telling myself I love my triggers because they are telling me there is something that I need to work on is just many layers, like peeling the onions. You know, I am always learning and growing and evolving. We all are right.

Soodabeh Mokry: 17:49

So when I felt that everybody was telling me that I cannot do it at the beginning, that my sister, my husband's sister, was telling me that what do you mean? That you want to go back to school to become a nurse? You cannot even speak English and my husband, like you, can clean the toilets in a hospital, but that is as close as you can get to working in a hospital, and everything that they told me, I felt like, okay, we'll see. What do you think? And I feel like I didn't do everything to prove them. I was thinking about I am done. I am done with the past. I don't know something within me shifted, and I cannot explain how it shifted and why, but I think it was because that I was rock bottom. There was nothing I could do. I right now, when I am, I want to do something. I'm like are people going to judge me? Am I going to fail At that moment? What fail? There was nothing else to fail in, so I just that was the blessings. You know is is just like what. What do you mean? It's blessing. It was a blessing because I didn't have anybody to rely on, so I just had to. I was forced. The universe, whatever some source was forcing me to be in that position, so I can either take the action step or I say I'm going to die and I didn't die, so I had to take the action step. So when we get triggered, people say things and they don't know what is in our heart and they don't know where we are or what we think the dreams that we have. There is a reason we have those dreams and there are going to be lots of people to say you know, no, you cannot do it and say, okay, I'm going to take that step and we'll see what comes out as a result of it. You think that writing a book in English was easy for me. No, it took me 15 years to work on my first book and it took six months to write on my second book. So I took yes, thank you. It's just when you want something, just go for it and try something. Just go for it and try. And there are. There have been steps that I took and it did not bring me to where I wanted to be and then I pivot. You know we have. We have learned that.

Soodabeh Mokry: 20:36

Okay, what is the how? How can I go to that? Where I want?

Soodabeh Mokry: 20:41

And for me I always say spirit, guide me where I want. And for me I always say spirit, guide me. Where do you want me to be? The spirit guide me to put me in a place that the people that need me and the patients that come to me in my nursing job, I say something and they say nobody told me that say something and they say nobody told me that. So the spirit put me in the places. Whether I am in my coaching business with clients, whether I'm speaking on the stage, whether I am in my nursing job, the spirit when I say use me. I want to serve. How can I serve today? And the people that come on my path are the people that need to hear something about me or the information or the expertise that I have. So use that People say no, you do your, you do you. You do what is going to bring you closer to what you want, what you dream of. And as long as we believe it and take that action, step the other people, they're not important.

Josh Porthouse: 21:57

Okay, well, in addition to that internal control, or at least the control you developed over time, what did you establish boundaries then? Because you can go one direction, totally committed to work, bury yourself in any number of things, to get busy, to stay busy, to chase ambition and you know this, this cat out of the cage sort of mindset. On the other hand, manage your frustration and develop patience and humility and continue to progress. How did you establish boundaries?

Soodabeh Mokry: 22:39

Learning lessons. I did for a very long time. When was it so? I came here in November 1990. I learned English and got my register RN degree in 1994. I bought my, yes, yes years as well.

Soodabeh Mokry: 23:05

Yes, yes, I I just I know I, I don't know how, uh, you know the, how hard, I don't know. I just I just did. I worked really hard because I had a dream and somehow the universe, god, supported me and as I took steps, I got the progress and I did. And in three years working, I worked two jobs. I have to buy my own home and 1994, I graduated as a nurse. 1997, I bought my first house. The thing that I have done is possible. It may seem extraordinary but it is not.

Soodabeh Mokry: 23:57

And then when I had my first brand new home, that I did it by myself, brand new car. My kids were teenagers and I felt I was sick, I was depressed, I was emotionally, mentally, spiritually, rock bottom. I had everything but I felt I needed something. And then it was the beginning of my spiritual awakening, to say who am I? Where did I come from, where am I going? Nobody needs me? My identity literally shifted. That moment, the moment that I had everything, that I worked really hard for it, because I didn't know who I was. I was pushed and pushed, and pushed and I did and I achieved. And who am I now? So I appreciate your question, because if we put ourselves into a place of 100% one way and no play or no connection with the source or no connection with the nature. And I say, ground yourself. And bringing that becoming so life put me in a places that, like you know, in my face, or a punch in the gut, and I'm'm like, okay, now what?

Soodabeh Mokry: 25:29

And then that was the time that I started searching and researching and learning about mindset and I just was so thirsty for knowledge, I wanted to know. And the more I knew, the more, because I didn't start all of this, because I wanted to write a book or speak or any of this. I was, I was desperate for healing. I was desperate. I had nobody, nothing and I had.

Soodabeh Mokry: 26:01

In my job, I took care of my patients. I loved it and I still do. My family, family, I took care of my kids. I didn't have anybody to rely on, literally, and at that moment I said, okay, I'm going to go search. And the more I search for the answer, the more that I learned that in order to be successful and I'm not talking about success in a material world in order to feel successful, to me is that inner peace, the sense of belonging, the sense of that. Oh, I can take a deep breath and I know I am safe, and that moment that we have to find that balance. We can go either or, but then life is going to put us in situations. We call it challenging a situation, we call it roadblocks, we call it struggles, but every place that we are in life brings us closer to be this powerful soul that we are, and there's a purpose for all of us. And what you are doing, josh, that is your purpose.

AD: 27:21

All right, folks sit tight, We'll be right back on Transacting Value.

Josh Porthouse: 27:25

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Soodabeh Mokry: 28:12

Where values start in the home, there's a purpose for all of us.

Josh Porthouse: 28:19

And what you are doing, josh, that is your purpose, feels kind of like it. And there's a couple things interesting you just brought up that just came to my mind, for example, getting you closer to a more powerful version of you. The last point you just brought up I don't know who's listening to this or watching this conversation and I don't consider myself a very religious person, but when it comes to spirituality, I think there's a very big common reference point between the two, religion and spirituality, where, uh, faith is, I think, the most common, the most common overlap between the two. Right, I think your religion is sort of the subjective definition and qualification of that faith, but I think spirituality is the objective recognition of a need for it, because, in either case, by the time you start to rely on it, it's on things that are outside your control, or it's too complex and you can't process it and you get overwhelmed, or for whatever reason let's call it. And Christianity, for example, everybody was made in God's image. I don't look anything like you, so that can't be accurate. Right, there's schools of thought that think that, well, the Bible, the Quran and any other religious text around the world also all recognize that difference as being spiritual and so in what you were able to accomplish and in how you were able to accomplish it and become a more powerful version of yourself, when you started to reconcile with your spiritual deficiencies, it made all the difference and it had nothing to do necessarily with your religion. It was an internal spiritual shift. And this isn't to get religious or spiritual, but to the point you just brought up. I totally agree with you and it makes all the difference.

Josh Porthouse: 30:31

Now, saying that, when you brought up the point about mentally, emotionally, physically, just drained at rock bottom, I the first thought that went through my head was like you know, in your, in your physical diet, you know you have carbohydrates and proteins and fats and micronutrients vegetables. You know, in your physical diet, you know you have carbohydrates and proteins and fats and micronutrients vegetables. You know whatever you might eat to get those. And then if you neglect your vegetables, you end up tired and worn down and lethargic and you end up weaker and atrophied and all these other things. Right, it's like the spiritual version of your perspective is like the vegetable side. You know it's got so much potential and so much power and with very little, minimal neglect, you can tank your entire being state of mind, ability to communicate effectively all the above, so good on you for finally eating your vegetables. I guess it it makes it makes so much of a difference. But when you hit the bottom, what was it for you that led you to realize you were just burnt out and you needed to change?

Soodabeh Mokry: 31:46

I was sick, physical symptoms, symptoms.

Josh Porthouse: 31:49

Oh, actually sick.

Soodabeh Mokry: 31:50

Physical symptoms. Yes, I was sick when I was in my early 20s. I was not literally, you know, according to the science world or medical world that I had autoimmune disease, but my symptoms when I moved to America and everything that I had, it was a symptom of someone that has autoimmune disease. You know, when I was 13 years old I had my first cortisone shot in my leg. So my body attacks itself. The autoimmune disease is something that medical work. They don't know how to, how it happens, why it happens and what to do about it, but it is just like managing the symptoms. So I was sick. My thyroid gland, for example, was growing more than usual to the point that I had to have radiation to kill all my thyroid cells. My stomach was upset and I was bleeding from my stomach. I was depressed, I was lonely, I was isolated and all of those things. It could be a mental symptoms, could be a physical symptoms, it could be emotional symptoms. I mean, if we don't take care of I love the way that you explained about the spirituality component of a spirituality as, like vegetables, I just love that because, um it, without that component of a spirituality and I'm not talking about religious as at all. We can be, you know, follow a specific religion and be spiritual as well. It is not like you. I am not talking about religious beliefs versus spirituality, but we are these powerful souls. We come to this body, this time-space, reality, to learn, to grow, to evolve. And if we just take that spirit out of the way, no matter what we do, we constantly crash until we get to the point and say what is my purpose? Where am I in this life? So my issues were physical symptoms. I was always sick and tired. I mean, I am, of course, you know, 64 years old and I have more energy than when I was in my 20s or 30s, or you know, it's just a holistic version. I always say it's the spirit, it's the body, it's the mind, it's the emotions. There are these four components that make us who we are. And if we neglect one part, then we fall down and that could be physical symptom, it could be like a form of cancer, because, you know, we didn't take care of ourselves, the trauma that we experienced childhood and adulthood, that if we don't take care of those part of us, the trauma that we experienced, we don't heal them. And I healing when I talk about healing. It's not about cure. It's about healing that aspects of us and I.

Soodabeh Mokry: 35:03

I needed to come to a place that say I wrote a letter to my ex-husband, I gave it to my son, to give it to his father, to say I forgive you because you gave me a chance to. I love my life, I love who I am. I know who I am because of what he did. You can say right or wrong, it has nothing to do with it. You can say right or wrong, it has nothing to do with it. So everything that we go through is just manifest, that the symptom of it.

Soodabeh Mokry: 35:34

What I believe and the way that we look at life outside of us is it creates a symptom. Either we are not, we don't have money all the time. I'm not going into blame that it is your fault not having money. I'm talking you in general.

Soodabeh Mokry: 35:50

Everybody and everything, when we are always chasing money, when we are and we are going paycheck to paycheck, for example, when we are constantly sick, we are constantly tired, when we are constantly depressed, all of these symptoms are means that one of these four components of who we are is out of balance. And that's what I do in my holistic coaching that, you know, bring all these aspects of us into play with each other, that part of me that is the hurt little girl, the part of me that has anger. It's just honoring, accepting all part of us, the light and the shadow, the goodness and what we call it negativity, all of these things. When we embrace ourselves and stop judging ourselves, then we are going to have a better life, and that better life means inner peace, something that we are happy where we are.

AD: 36:55

Alrighty, folks sit tight and we'll be right back on Transacting Value.

AD: 37:00

Ever felt like your identity slipped away, like the world around you was talking but you couldn't quite understand. On Transacting Value, we sit down with Sally Ann Martinez of Heaven's Light Wellness, a spiritual advisor whose life took a shocking turn. Imagine at 19, suddenly experiencing the pain of others, realizing you have a gift you never knew existed, from a nervous breakdown to embracing a calling. Sally Ann shares her journey of leaving the corporate world to help protect others and connect them with their guardian angels, to navigate life's chaos. Discover how she learned to trust her intuition and help others do the same. If you're struggling to find your place, tune in to Transacting Value and hear how Sallyann transformed an unexpected revelation into a life of purpose. Visit heavenslightwellnesscom to learn more.

Soodabeh Mokry: 37:49

When we embrace ourselves and stop judging ourselves, then we are going to have a better life, and that better life means inner peace, something that we are happy where we are.

Josh Porthouse: 38:03

You mentioned balance twice, maybe three times. Now I'm going to push back a little bit. I think balance is something you have to consistently fight for, to maintain, and I think that's when we start to sacrifice boundaries maybe even in the name of balance in some cases, and we start risking burnout spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, whatever. Well, instead of balance, I'm going to recommend harmony, or it may be out of alignment, but accepting that that's okay. Sometimes, I think helps to maintain some degree of stability, at least over the amount of control that we have to, whatever that means in any given situation, and mitigate some of the burnout, maybe not the frustration or the anger. The emotions are going to be there. We're people. But yeah, I had somebody come on the show I think it was a couple months ago now and that was one of the points that she made. Oh my God, I didn't even know what that meant until we started talking about it.

Soodabeh Mokry: 39:10

I love it.

Josh Porthouse: 39:11

Maybe that'll help you out too. Yeah, it was a pretty poignant thing she brought up, but that leads me to my next question, then. So, talking about coming up with all of these ideas and reconciling with yourself and recognizing who you are, or relearning who you are, I guess I have a feeling that you, as an individual, are still not that different from who you used to be. You know, I mean, you had 19, well, 30 years of you before the last 30 years of you. So this is a segment of the show called Developing Character. D D D, developing Character.

Josh Porthouse: 39:50

Now, it's two questions, but here's why this makes a difference. I think, when we get into positions where our identities and our roles no longer align or match, your career ends, your relationship ends, your midlife crisis happens and there's a motorcycle in your garage the next morning, whatever it is, you know things change and happen. Is you know, things change and happen where you don't recognize you anymore? In those moments, there is still, I think, some continuity and some throughput in the scatterplot of all the things you could be, and to me, that's the value system, that's the grounding I think you were alluding to earlier, and so this question is about your value systems as a point of continuity, to give you some degree of control. And two questions are rooted in time. Okay, so my first question is let's go way back. What were some of the values that you were raised on or that you remember being exposed to as a kid? And my second question is then what are some of your values now?

Soodabeh Mokry: 40:52

Oh, that's a wonderful question. You make me think the values that my family, my parents they were very kind and accepting and generous. That is the who I am. Uh, I remember my father. I lost my father when I was 13 years old and my mom was a teacher, so she had to work two jobs and there was four kids I was the oldest, the other one was two. To work so hard made me to.

Soodabeh Mokry: 41:33

When I came here, I had that value in me of working hard to go after what I want. And I remember when my husband came, talking at the beginning, you know, with my mom, to say, well, I want to marry Sudube, and she said I have one condition for you she has to go to school and she has to get degrees and she has to I mean, I was like 19 and she has to go to college, she has to get a degree and she has to be able to work. Are you going to be okay with that? And he said yes, so that was it. So for me, when I came here, I had my value of I need to go to school, I need to become a nurse. These are the things that made me to achieve what I went after and succeeded in that. And also when I look back at my mom, when I lost my father, she didn't have the support of what we have, what I call it in America, or at this time, because I had the opportunity to hire a coach. I had the opportunity to get therapy, I had the opportunity to have counseling and read books and all of that my mom's way of communication. I wanted to be someone. The opposite of what she did woke up and I look at in the mirror and I saw my mom looking back at me and that was my sign that I need to change some of the thing. Because I looked at myself, because I was in a kind of perilous situation to my mom. For her, her husband died. For me I was. You know, my husband left. So I, like I need to shift, I need to change and I reached out and got help and my value is right now is based on accepting others where they are.

Soodabeh Mokry: 43:40

I do not agree with everybody. As I said at the beginning, I'm not a saint, I'm not perfect. I have my opinion. I value who I am. I create. My value is right now to create that healthy boundary. You know when somebody is trying to be hurting intentionally hurting me by the words that they use. I will say you know what? I cannot be in your group, for example, or in your space, and you cannot be in my space. So these are the values, what I learned from the way that I looked. These are the things that I like about how my parents were and these are the things that I didn't like and I need to be better. So I have two granddaughters and I tell my son I said you need, and sometimes he jokes with my daughter-in-law, with my daughter, with my grandkids, because we are sharing the value of how the communication, how we communicate. We can be frustrated, we can be overwhelmed, but what is the good thing is how we can resolve our disagreements and everything. So I hope I answered your second question as well.

Josh Porthouse: 45:17

Yeah, you have, and there's a lot of power in that too being able to develop that kind of perspective and awareness and, and, like I said, reconcile it and do something with it ideally productively and proactively, but just do something with it.

Josh Porthouse: 45:32

You know is a very special place to be. So I guess, really for the sake of time, you mentioned your books and it sounds like a lot of what you just described ended up in your first book, angel Nightingale, right? So let's talk a couple minutes about your books and then where people can find them, how people can track them down.

Soodabeh Mokry: 45:56

Yes, thank you so much for asking that. My first book, angel Nightingale, is the stories of how the beginning of my spiritual awakening starts with that and the way that my brother passed away in a car accident, which is a long story that we don't want to go there, but that is how I grew up in Iran. What happened, my parents, the way that Iran was before revolution, the thing that happened and coming to America and what happened and how I put one foot in front of other and the lessons that I learned. And also there's three parts the first part about life in Iran, then life in America and the last part is about my patients. The story is the heartwarming stories of my patients that I helped them. Some of them they transitioned to the other side, to the spirit world, and with peace and dignity, and some of them gained their health back.

Soodabeh Mokry: 47:00

So it is, and also the reason that I named it Angel Nightingale, because angels means that I called the people that came into my life when I came to America and they were like angels. They came in. You know, we don't have we think about angels like something that we see with the wings and everything. You know every day. You are an angel. You know you came here to give me a platform that's the way I look at things and honoring the people that have helped me to get to where I am, and also the stories of the way that my patients because I did a lot of home health and hospice work and they opened their home to me and they allowed me to help them and it's a beautiful story, lots of beautiful stories.

Soodabeh Mokry: 47:50

And then my second book that became Amazon number one bestseller, emerging you has a little bit of my story, but it is more like a self-help book. You are on crossroad. What is it that you need to do? It has a lot about how to shift your mindset, the tools that provides for the reader, and both of the books they are on Amazon and that they can purchase. Also, I have a website which is my name, sudoveymokricom, that if they go there, there are a lot of classes and hypnosis, audios, free stuff and also the link to the books and all the stuff that they need if they need it.

Josh Porthouse: 48:41

Wow, wow. And then being able to put it all into a position that it's understandable and usable, on top of just experiencing it Again. I don't know if I can say this more in the conversation, but congratulations.

Soodabeh Mokry: 48:54

Thank you so much, Josh.

Josh Porthouse: 48:56

It's such a huge accomplishment just to gain some degree of awareness, let alone to actually find a place for it. So, yeah, that's very special. Now saying that to anybody who's new to the show or obviously is watching this now, depending on the player that you're streaming this conversation on, click see more or click show more and you'll see a dropdown for the conversation. Now, in that description you'll also see links to SudabayMokricom and to Amazon, so you can track down her books as well. Saying that, yeah, sudabay, I appreciate the conversation and your time and your insight and your inspiration, so thanks for coming on.

Soodabeh Mokry: 49:35

Thank you so much, Josh. I appreciate you for giving me this opportunity.

Josh Porthouse: 49:40

Absolutely Thank you, and to everybody else who's been listening to this conversation and obviously watching it now here on YouTube, thank you for staying with us throughout the conversation. I hope you guys got something out of it. I'm going to leave you with this. If you like this conversation, then you're going to like the rest of them. So you may as well go to our website at transactingvaluepodcastcom.

Josh Porthouse: 49:59

Now, what's cool about it is on the homepage, in the top right-hand corner, you see a button that says leave a voicemail. Click on it, it's not dangerous. It's two minutes of talk time. That's all yours, and I'm going to give you two recommendations about what you can do with it. One, let us know what you think of the show. Let us know what you think about the topics, my hosting style, the questions, the insight, the guests anything you want. But two, let Suda Bay and our guests know what you think about them and their stories and their products and their brands, and their feedback and their responses. Ideally, it's all mostly constructive criticism, because that's how we learn we talk to people, we build a dialogue, we get feedback and we move on and progress through life. So, even if it's not going to help her accomplish anything else, it broadens her perspective, which makes all the difference. So please stop in and check it out, but otherwise you can also hear us on Wreaths Across America radio. You can hear us and see us in Firewatch Magazine and a few other partners that we have worked with on the show.

Josh Porthouse: 51:02

Until next time, for right now, that was Transacting Value. Thank you to our show partners and folks. Thank you for tuning in and appreciating our value as we all grow through life together. To check out our other conversations or even to contribute through feedback, follows, time, money or talent, and to let us know what you think of the show. Please leave a review on our website, transactingvaluepodcastcom. We also stream new episodes every Monday at 9am Eastern Standard Time through all of your favorite podcasting platforms like Spotify, iheart and TuneIn. You can now hear Transacting Value on Wreaths Across America radio. Head to wreathsacrossamericaorg. Slash transactingvalue to sponsor a wreath and remember, honor and teach the value of freedom for future generations. On behalf of our team and our global ambassadors, as you all strive to establish clarity and purpose, ensure social tranquility and secure the blessings of liberty or individual sovereignty of character for yourselves and your posterity, we will continue instigating self-worth and we'll meet you there Until next time. That was Transacting Value.