When God Opens Doors: Finding Hope After Abuse

What happens when rock bottom has a trap door? When Denise Rodriguez met host Mariana at a women's conference, neither could have imagined how powerfully their parallel journeys would resonate with listeners. This raw, unfiltered conversation takes you inside the reality of domestic violence, offering both gut-wrenching moments and breathtaking testimony of divine intervention.

Married at 19 with two children already, Denise shares how she ignored spiritual warnings about her first marriage, only to find herself divorced and vulnerable to a "love bomber" who quickly isolated her from support systems. As pregnancy, homelessness, and physical abuse created seemingly inescapable bonds, Denise reached her darkest moment in a hotel room, crying out with nothing left but desperate prayer.

The turning point came through the most unlikely source – an Uber Eats driver who delivered more than just coffee, but a lifeline to Bay Area Turning Point, a domestic violence organization that would ultimately provide Denise with a year of housing support. This divine appointment marked the beginning of her transformation from victim to victor.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is the spiritual thread woven throughout both women's stories. Mariana's reflection that "I am you in 20 years" offers listeners a rare glimpse at the long arc of healing – from emergency survival to thriving purpose. As Denise describes her journey toward ordained ministry, we witness how past trauma becomes powerful testimony that helps other women find courage to leave abusive situations.

Whether you're currently living in fear, supporting someone who is, or simply seeking to understand the complex dynamics of domestic violence, this conversation offers both practical insight and spiritual hope. As Denise powerfully states, "He literally will pick you up and put you back together. Even if it's your third time, even if it's your fourth time, don't be afraid to go back." Ready to hear a story that might just change your life or someone else's? Listen now and share with someone who needs to know they're not alone.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Mommy on a Mission
• 1:18 Meeting Denise: Her Early Marriage Journey
• 5:30 The Second Relationship: Love Bombing
• 9:45 Similar Stories: Mariana Shares Her Past
• 16:13 When Abuse Escalated: Breaking Point
• 24:05 Finding Help Through an Unexpected Source
• 31:08 Spiritual Renewal and Ordained Ministry
• 44:30 Closing Thoughts and Hope for Others

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. I'm Mariana, your host and the number one bestselling author of Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing self-discovery and walking in confidence. As a dedicated life coach, wife, mom yaya and, most importantly, daughter of the king, I am passionate about empowering multifaceted women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you reignite your passion and purpose. My unique approach is designed to help you overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we explore practical strategies, inspiring stories and actionable insights. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of life and emerge stronger, more confident and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mom in a Mission podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your Tazza Cafe y vamos a platicar.

Speaker 1: 1:18

As I mentioned in the introduction, I have a wonderful woman of God who is going to talk to us a little bit about her testimony, how she still continuously is walking in obedience into her transformational story. So I have with me today Denise Rodriguez, who I had the privilege of hearing her powerful testimony at a women's conference. I want to say it was like what, back in December, January around, when was it? I think it was December, Maybe I say it was December, I think that's where your testimony. I was a vendor. So, Denise, tell us a little bit about yourself. So what is it that you like to do? What do you like to do for fun? What do you like to eat? And so I was very blessed to have heard your story. So good morning, Denise, and thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker 2: 2:11

Good morning. Good morning everyone That'll be tuning in. It is a privilege. Thank you so much. And yes, it was. Is great how God, you know, joined us together and what he does and how he appoints us in different people's lives. So it is an honor to be here, Thank you.

Speaker 1: 2:32

You have four babies, you have four children, yeah yeah, and so I have five. So we're similar in that. I think big families are awesome. In talking, though just briefly before we got on the podcast, I was sharing with you that our stories are very, very similar, since that we are both survivors of domestic violence, and how we were stripped away from just about everything. But talk to me a little bit about your story.

Speaker 1: 3:05

Tell me a little bit about who you are, what you've gone through. We're going to talk about where you're seeing yourself next.

Speaker 2: 3:12

You know, life is a learning lesson. I got married at 19 years old. I had my first daughter at 16. Daughter at 16. So that marriage was something that probably should have never happened. Um, I actually heard God tell me not to marry him, but because I was so new in Christ, I was just like, nah, this isn't God telling me. You know, I have two kids already. There's no way God would tell me not to marry the father of my kids, right? Um, I already knew that he was abusive, but I met him very young. I was like 16, so he's all I knew.

Speaker 2: 3:54

You know, I was raised by grandparents so they were very. It was like my grandfather was strict but my grandmother was like my best friend. So I had that like spoiled mentality, like, you know, you're not gonna tell me what to do, kind of thing, or like. So I visualized my relationship with God like kind of like a mommy I'm sorry a daddy and daughter thing. You know, like daughters fight with their dad. You know, we don't get our way, we we kind of, yeah, whatever you know. So that's kind of what my relationship was when I first came to Christ. I was like, no, that's the enemy telling me not to marry him. And little did I know. Literally the same day that I married him, he went home and got drunk, he tried to kill himself and I knew in that moment that I messed up. I knew in that moment that was God telling me. No, the abuse got worse because, you know, we were fighting a spiritual battle. So little did I know that I was going to learn so much in such a short period of time on how to exercise my authority but also learn to be humble and quiet. You know, and you know, that ended I got divorced.

Speaker 2: 5:10

And when I got divorced, I was angry with God. So I hurried up and try to fill myself with. You know, I was in fear, you know, because he got arrested and we got divorced immediately because I had to get a protective order. Um, so I immediately just hurried up and tried to, you know, feel better, you know, and not searching for anyone. But somebody came into my life and messaged me and caught my attention. Um, I wasn't expecting anyone. You know, I was telling myself I'm mad at god, I'm not gonna talk to god, I'm not gonna talk to no one. I don't want any, any relationship. I don't want anything to do with no man. You know, I was angry um. And this gentleman, he approached me with such kindness from what I know now is called love bombing you know, I don't know if anybody's familiar with that term, but that's exactly what he did.

Speaker 2: 6:04

He love bombed me, um, at the very beginning. I don't know if anybody's familiar with that term, but that's exactly what he did. He loved bombed me, um, at the very beginning I didn't know, but I was vulnerable, so I gave him my attention. Um, my ex came after me again, you know, slashing my tires. Um, the gentleman was at my home already. So it became a trauma bond because now this man was like I'm going to defend you, I'm going to have your back, he's not going to do nothing to you.

Speaker 2: 6:29

So my eyes, my whole self, now focused on a man and not God. My whole focus became about this man because he was giving me everything that my husband didn't give me at that time my ex-husband at the time. He gave me everything all the attention, the love, the care. He took care of my kids like they were his own. He was like immediately, like it felt like God sent. Little did I know that his true self was going to come out. So how long were you married to your first husband? We got married in 2015. So we were only married for like five years, okay, but together for nine, oh yeah okay, and then?

Speaker 1: 7:11

how soon after your divorce did you meet the second person?

Speaker 2: 7:15

literally in two weeks. The enemy did not wait. He knew exactly what I wanted, what, what I needed, and I was vulnerable.

Speaker 1: 7:26

I was asking that question because, again, you know, when I was talking to you earlier, I was telling you that our stories sound very similar because, just like I've shared in my book, I was 17 years old when I first got married. I lived with my grandparents as well, got married at the age of 17. I didn't have my first baby until I was 19. By 22, I was divorced. And then, at 23, I meet my second husband, who was the abuser and, just like you, you know, it was like the red flags were there. I chose to ignore those red flags. Yes, and it was. They know how to groom you.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Now, my first husband. It wasn't, uh, it wasn't abusive or anything. We were just both very, very young. I was ready to get out of the house. I was a very rebellious person at the time, very confused, very hurt, like, yeah, no, god, I knew there was a God. I just didn't know God and I know what God wanted for me. Growing up, you know, there was a lot of things about my life that was all over the place. Just let me put it that way, yeah, and then. So I was out and about doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing just no structure.

Speaker 1: 8:44

I felt like nobody's watching, nobody's paying attention, I'm just gonna go out and do whatever I want to do and I'm gonna come home whenever I feel like coming home, whatever. And I still managed to go to school. But then I was in high school still now as a junior, junior year's done and then I get married. My senior year I'm a married woman in high school why I didn't get to finish school? And so, again, I was with this person for five years, married to him for five years, and then we get divorced. And then I leave and I moved to San Antonio, texas. And so when I go and live in San Antonio, lo and behold, I meet my second husband, and with him everything seemed like it was wonderful, again, very dramatic.

Speaker 1: 9:31

He loved to dance, he was a jokester, always gave me compliments, all of the things that I was seeking or wanting to see. Yet there were some red flags I completely chose to ignore. I didn't want to see any of those, but little did I know that he was hiding some, some truths about himself. I am pregnant now with our son, and it was then that, little by little, some hidden truths were starting to come out, and one of those being that he was not divorced like he said he was. He was in fact still married, and so it's like yeah, you're right. I mean, like, what are you doing, like, and when did that happen for you? Like, when did you realize?

Speaker 2: 10:25

things about him. Oh, man, so, like you said, since the red flags were there, first and foremost I've always been a woman to work and take care of myself, you know, take care of the kids, take care of myself, take care of myself. So when I got out of that you know, marriage I had my own home. I have my car. Um, he didn't have anything. He had two cars, but he was living with his parents. So that was, that should have been red flag number one. I didn't bother asking him why he was living with his parents. No offense to anyone, but you know, at grown age he has two kids as well. You know, we should have something, you know, something comfortable for our children. So he moved in with me right away, like no questions asked, just came and lived with me. You know, like immediately.

Speaker 2: 11:20

It was like you said, when I got pregnant, um, I had a miscarriage actually, um, I miscarried our first kid. Oh my God. And I should have. I should have known better. I should have known better right then. And there, um, he treated me different. Um, he wasn't as happy. We were trying, and when I told him that I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't see any joy. Um, it was just kind of like okay, and it made me feel like you know, like where's all the the happiness, the joy that you know, you, you, you know that you've been giving me, like, and I told him, I said, are you not happy? And he's like no, I'm, I'm happy, I'm happy. And I was like okay, and um, that was actually the first time I ever miscarried a child, so it was like a big deal for me.

Speaker 2: 12:09

We at first, we didn't know that that was going to happen. So, going to the doctor and like, just seeing his behavior, like he, he was starting to like hide his phone a little bit. Um, he was just distancing himself and I was was like what happened to this man that I could talk to about everything you know, like I could tell my feelings too, I can cry too, like I was being vulnerable, and he wasn't receptive anymore. It was like I don't know what it was. Something switched, like a switch. He just became different and so nothing abusive, yet it was just more like I noticed him being distant. So, um, I want to say I miscarried within two months.

Speaker 2: 12:51

Um, but those two months, like I said, he would just I was sick, you know. So I would be in the room and he was just over there in the living room playing games, you know, uh, helping the kids, you dinner and stuff, like he was helpful, but there was no like intimacy, like on a level of like comfort. You know he was not comforting me. There was no excitement, there was nothing. It was like I was like man, am I in a dream? Am I in a bad dream? Like I'm about to have his kid and I don't feel happy, right? So when we got the news that I was miscarrying, he didn't even cry, you know, and I'm not. I know that not everybody's a crier, that's okay, but he had been very vulnerable with me. So when I noticed that he didn't cry with me, I was like something's not right. This isn't, isn't cool. You know, like I feel very alone. I feel very alone in this moment. I can resonate with that. We're living together, but you're inconsistent right here while I'm with you in the same room.

Speaker 1: 13:55

This is crazy that, because I remember again, you know, the very first time. So we met.

Speaker 1: 14:01

it was in an October, and then shortly after I find out I'm pregnant and in December I miscarried and I miscarried December 1st Now we didn't live together that back then, because he had his own we both and it's just crazy how that happened, but we both had happened to move to San Antonio around the same time. It wasn't until months later, when both of our leases were about to be up, and it was then that he decided, you know, we should move in together and I'm like okay again. Mind you, I don't even know that he's still married. And then, once we moved in, lo and behold, I'm pregnant now with our what's going to be our second baby, to get you know, because the first one we miscarried. And that's when I found out about the ex-wife, and then I learned that she too was pregnant. So now we don't know if the baby that she's carrying is his baby or not, because it turns out at some point they had been seeing each other even while he and I were talking, and, mind you, we lived in separate places. So it was just like this big thing. You know, like I said, all of these things start to surface.

Speaker 1: 15:09

Well, and when the baby was born, they did a DNA test and found out that the baby was not here. They get divorced, and so now, here we are. My son now is born in May, and then we didn't get married officially until November of 99. And then, next thing, you know, I'm now pregnant with our third baby, you know. So we had two living children together. In the midst of all of that, behaviors were showing up. The abuse had not yet started, because we both know abuse is gradual. It doesn't happen this way, but attitudes change. There's distancing or they make excuses as to why they can't do certain things, and there were, sometimes there would be nights that he wouldn't show up.

Speaker 1: 16:07

But again the red flags are there. Then we ended up moving out of the apartment and going into a house. Well, now, mind you, yes, he was making money, but I had money myself, and so a lot of the things that we were able to purchase was based off of my money that I had. So I just remember, you know, that a lot of the things that we would have was because of me Fast forwarding. I'm pregnant now with our daughter, and he has to go into rehab. His reasoning for going to rehab was because he was caught taking I think it was like he says it was like a antibiotic or something, but it was in somebody else's name. Now you're living with this man. You had a miscarriage. Did y'all ever have children together?

Speaker 2: 16:55

Yeah, we have two kids together that's my three-year-old and my one-year-old Gotcha.

Speaker 1: 17:02

Okay, when did the abuse start to take place? When did those things start? Because, like I said, I know it happens gradually. So when did that begin? When did you realize?

Speaker 2: 17:15

Yes, honestly, the abuse started probably right after I found out that I was pregnant with our second son. Yeah, cause we had a short period of time where we had broken up. Um, that was when I was trying to submit to God and God had given me a home, he had given me a car again, a new start. But I was so afraid of being alone. I wasn't ready yet. Mentally, I wasn't ready. I thought I was, but I wasn't. Because I was. So I was still soul tied to him. So when God put me in that isolation, I freaked out, you know, know, I completely freaked out and I ran back to him and I begged him to take me back. And it didn't take much begging, you know, um, but he was on drugs that night and he was drinking and I admitted to him that I was seeing someone and that I was not. I didn't want no one but him because I wanted my family. And that night we decided that we were going to get back together and have a baby. To fix things Again, you know, the enemy infiltrated my mind.

Speaker 2: 18:38

I was like this is it? I'm going to have another kid, you know. You know, guys love you more when they have your. You have their babies. So, silly old me, I get pregnant immediately. Once we find out that I'm pregnant, all of a sudden, I need a DNA test. Because you were seeing someone else, weren't you? He starts accusing me of things you know like, and he's never done that before. He's. He's like you know. He's throwing it in my face pretty much.

Speaker 2: 19:04

And we're at this point. We're living in a hotel because God stripped me of everything. He took away the house, the car. As soon as I got back with this man, god took everything away. I lost my job, I lost my car and this man lost his job. I'm pregnant. We're living in a hotel that we can't even pay for. Honestly, I couldn't even remember how we paid for it.

Speaker 2: 19:30

I lost my kids because I was not about to have them in a hotel. They knew that I took care of myself and them, but I was not about to let them be in that hotel with me. So I had my little son with me. So I had our my little son. That me and him had, yes, but my two oldest. I sent them with their dad and I had to have that hard conversation with him and tell him I don't know how long we're gonna be here, but I need you to take care of the kids. So thankfully you, their dad, took on that role of taking care of them full time. But it the abuse really started right after that pregnancy test came back positive. He was just. You know You're cheating. This isn't my kid, you know. But I'm going to take care of you because that's all I have. We all. We only have each other. Now you lost your kids.

Speaker 2: 20:26

It was so mentally draining, it was so tiring hearing the his outbursts, you know. But on my birthday, exactly two years ago, I found out that he was still speaking to someone. He was still actively um intimate with this someone. Um, because her boyfriend actually um, reached out to me through messenger, facebook, and he gave me the whole spill, gave me all the tea. He was like is is, is this so-and-so? You know your husband. I was like no, he's not my husband. He's like well, I have something to tell you. He's seeing my wife and I was like you have, so she's married, this woman is married. And he's like, yes, and I mean like sis, details that would make your heart go to your stomach. And I was in disbelief, I was broken. I was in that hotel trying to keep it together, cause I was like I'm about to have another kid with this man.

Speaker 1: 21:35

How could I do this, yeah, no, and, and I can again, you know it's in just having this conversation, um, it's reminding me so much of the things that I had endured. Right, because, like you, my daughter is inborn. So both my babies, the two in the middle, are 17 months apart. But once my daughter was born so she was born on October by January, by this point the abuse had already started, being actually pregnant with him. That's. This is how I learned how into his addiction that he was in. Because when, once I was pregnant with my daughter, there was a drug dealer that called in the middle of the night and threatened to kill me and the kids if he didn't pay up, and I was like what? And so there was cameras inside, they could see me. I didn't even have cameras inside my house, um, not like the kind that we have now, right, the homes, yeah, back then, so they could see what I was doing, what I was wearing, where I was at, where my babies, and so that scared the crap out of me. So then, later on, I have my daughter, so I'm trying to leave. So this is the first time that I'm trying to leave, right, and I leave, run away, I come back to my hometown of Galveston. I'm coming here, I find a job, whatever. And he followed. He found me. So he was just trying to see where I was at and then he find, found me.

Speaker 1: 23:08

By this point I already had my own apartment here in Galveston and then he moves in. He, you know, he said things. You know things were going to be different, he was going to change, and it's good for a few, a month, and then it starts all over again. So by this point now I had to make a decision, because not only was he abusing me, but he was starting to verbally abuse my oldest, and I knew that this man was on drugs. I knew that this was that. So the two kids that we had together, you know, because he would always threaten me with the kids, you're not going to leave me. You know I'm going to take the kids, blah, blah, blah. And the next thing, you know, I'm having to make that drive to Austin, texas, and talk to his dad. And I released my oldest son to his dad because I was, I wanted to protect him. And that's when I knew that that was going to be the last time I felt it in my heart that that was going to be the last time my son was going to officially live with and as a mom, that's really hard right. And so my son is living with his, his dad. I've got my two in 2003. The ex-husband is calling me and telling me that I've got to. You know, I'm coming back to him. And we moved to Louisiana. Eight months later he loses his job. Now you've got me like we're constantly fighting now, you know, constantly going back and forth. He's constantly beating me. I'm trying to defend myself.

Speaker 1: 24:52

I moved to Oklahoma City and this man, for the very last time, beat me. This was one of the worst ones that I had experienced, and I remember going to church, beat up, crying. I go to my closet when I got back from church and I said, lord, surely this is not the life that you want me to have. You know, help me, help me find a way to get out of this. God did open because you know he was a binge user. So he would use and then he'd be okay for a little bit and then, as as it was starting to wear off, then he had to go back and use again. So it'd be like a like every two months he would start to binge use. You know he would be fine for a month and then it binge use again, and in one of those binges. So I knew that when he was going to be binging, I wouldn't see him for about a week or two. So in that when he would be missing for a day, I knew that that was then and that's when I had started to create a plan to leave.

Speaker 1: 25:49

And when that happened, I move into this one bedroom apartment, me and my two babies. My oldest one is living with his dad and I'm working a job that pays $9 an hour. I'm on WIC, I'm on food stamps, I'm on Medicaid making $9, and then decided to go back to school. And then that's when things started to transition, but it wouldn't be over yet. Right, because there are still after effects of all of these things that also catch up with you, because then that's when healing is starting to take place. Or you know, now you've got this baby, you find out that it's it. Well, you knew, you already knew it was his, but now you know that he's in this relationship.

Speaker 2: 26:40

Oh man, I told myself that the best thing for me to do was to keep it inside. I wasn't gonna bring it up. I was like I. I literally felt in that moment this is what you get. This is god punishing me if I tell him I don't have nowhere to go. I had no provision, I had no job, I had no money. I just thought to myself i'm'm just going to take it, I'm not going to, I'm not going to tell him nothing, I'm just going to keep it to myself. But I know what he's doing. You know, I was. I was literally like you said. I had completely lost my identity. I completely lost my mind. At that point, to be okay with that was not okay. Lost my mind at that point, to be okay with that was not okay. So me thinking that I'm going to be strong enough to hold it in hormonal, pregnant, everything. No, ma'am, it did not happen. How I it came out?

Speaker 2: 27:36

Um, we, we went back to the home to try to get my stuff at that home that I had, and the people changed the locks. So I ended up breaking into the house and trying to get my retrieve, my belongings, and while we were in there, I can't really remember what we were arguing about, but what I know is that he said something that really got to me and I just boom, just lashed out. I just I had. I knew in that moment I was not myself. I completely just went off, I grabbed the phone, I threw my phone. I, I was throwing things. I was just like how could you do this? Like how could you hide this from me? And he was just like, he was just done. He, he didn't say a word, he just watched me. You know how, like a in those they just hold the forehead of a person and they're doing this aggressively. That was me. I felt like out of body experience. That's how I felt spiritually. That's probably how I looked, just letting loose, doing nothing, absolutely nothing.

Speaker 2: 28:58

It did not penetrate him, he did, he didn't have any remorse and it made me even more mad, you know. And all he could say was I don't know what you're talking about. And I had foolproof, foolproof. The girl's husband messaged me. You know we FaceTimed. He told me everything. So now, in return, he's like oh, her husband messaged, so you were talking to her husband now, so you must be sleeping with him now. So now he flipped it right. You see what, what, what happens there? They flip it on you. He flipped the script. Now he's mad at me so he broke my phone. He grabbed my phone and broke it into pieces. So now I couldn't contact anyone my sister, my kids, no one. I didn't have a phone now, because that's what he was before he got physical physical. It was always breaking my phone or throwing stuff at me or you know. So it was always verbal and just yeah, it's. And I was just like wow.

Speaker 2: 30:04

I can't believe this. So you know, in my head I'm stuck. I felt stuck and I remember we went back to the hotel and I just got on my knees and I couldn't even pray. I couldn't even remember how to pray. I was just so broken and I said, god, there has to be more for me. This isn't what you want for my life. Help me, because I don't want to lose myself. I already feel like I lost myself, but I need you. Like, please, like.

Speaker 2: 30:31

In that moment, all I could think about was like how am I going to do postpartum? You know, like all I could think of was like you're going to get depressed. I don't want to get depressed. So that was always my prayer right after that moment was continuously God, keep me sane. God keep me happy. God, keep me joyful. God, show me, show me your way, show me your heart. Don't let my heart grow hard. That was my ultimate prayer don't let my heart grow hard because I don't want to go back.

Speaker 2: 30:58

So I rededicated my life to Christ by myself, in in that hotel, and I was like this is it. I cannot allow this man to break me. I've been broken before and I'm not going to let it happen again. So it it intensified. You know, he eventually got abusive. He threw.

Speaker 2: 31:17

So after the hotel we ended up moving into, one of my cousins ended up, one of her neighbors had like a little shack that he was renting out. Little did I know that that man was also on drugs. Um, but we went because we'd rather go somewhere else than this hotel now. So we went, we moved there and that's when he was like leaving me like for a long time. I didn't have a phone so I didn't know when he was gonna come back home. Um, and I'm just there like sick with my son. There's no food. We probably only had like noodles, I think, and eggs. So every day, noodles and eggs, noodles and eggs.

Speaker 2: 31:56

And I was like heavily sick. I had um hg the whole pregnancy, so I couldn't eat anything. So I'm miserable. I could barely move, I had any, no energy whatsoever. But in that moment, like I was still like God, you're gonna help me, you're gonna sustain me, you're gonna help me keep my composure. And surely he would come home and just straight to bed, didn't talk to me, didn't tell me how his day was going, didn't ask me how I was doing. You know, just, it was just like we were just roommates at this point, you know like no communication, no phone, like literally. I think about how, how crazy it was. I had no phone, it was just me and my son. All day, I'm by ourselves, just a bed, no furniture, no tv, just us two. You know like nothing.

Speaker 2: 32:51

And eventually we moved into his older brother's home and that's when the abuse got physical. I guess he had like an ego trip, you know, um, because I just I was getting so tired of his inconsistency. He lost that job again. So he was you he's used to being baby, you know always getting a handout from family Just we're going to be OK, we could just go live with my brother. And I was like we're, we have so many kids. Like what do you mean? Like we need our own home, we need something for our children. I don't, I don't want to live at no one's house, and so I was getting tired. I was like I don't want to live there, I'm sick. You know they have a house full of kids and I don't want to be in the way. You know. I don't want to. You know, barge in. And here we are again, cause we lived with them previously too, so that is still a form of couch surfing.

Speaker 1: 33:46

Yeah, not your. You're living with somebody, you're living at somebody else's place, and now you're couch surfing, which is basically homeless. Yeah, because, literally and I say that because that was my story too you know, moving back to galveston, I'm couch surfing, I'm family. You know, they get tired of me. Then I go live with another family member and then I go live with another, and then I just kind of rotated between all of them. Yeah, and so when? When did you decide enough was enough?

Speaker 2: 34:18

I think I had decided when he really got physical. That time I think I was like you know what, when he got physical for the first time, like that at his brother's house and nobody came to my defense family was there and I was being told that I was part of the problem and I was like, man, I can't do this. You know, I need to make a change. I need to really get my life together, because this I feel crazy. Now At this point I'm like am I the problem? Like, is it really me? Like, am I really provoking these men to anger to where they want to hit me? So now that I'm seeing that he's doing something that he swore he would never do, it literally like it reminded me.

Speaker 2: 35:09

It took me to a dark place where I had already got out of. That I thought I got out of. So when he brought me back there, something in me was like no, there's going to be a way out. When you have the baby, you're going to make a plan and it's going to come together. That that was really when I said I'm done.

Speaker 1: 35:27

Yeah, and that's a hard decision to make, because we see Oftentimes how, especially and I think one of the things that's different between us and other women is when we start to build a relationship with God and we start to learn that we don't have to do things by ourselves. And what I mean by that is there were days where I felt weak, I felt I didn't have enough strength, I felt like there was a lot of darkness around me, like I was never going to see clear light or anything, and I just felt like the world was just closing in on me and I really clung on to scripture. And the scripture that I clung on to a lot was Philippians 4.13. That says I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength. And it was like constantly repeating myself, repeating it, repeating that over and over and over, because I felt like how am I going to do this? You know, and then, if you think too long, you'll out, talk yourself from doing things.

Speaker 1: 36:38

So I had to learn to just take action and not think about the what, if, to then reading books and then really diving into reading God's word and being on fire for his word and really just, truly, fully, truly trusting him. If I didn't fully trust in him, then, yeah, I probably would have gone crazy Because, as it is already, you know, I'm fighting depression, I'm fighting anxiety, I'm fighting, you know, panic attacks. I'm already fighting all of these things. So if I didn't cling on to God, then who the heck was I going to cling on to? Seriously, when was that day that you decided, or when was that bold day that you said I'm leaving and I'm not going to look back?

Speaker 2: 37:27

Honestly, that moment happened when I met that lady that gave me a phone number to a woman's shelter who would be the one that is now financing the apartment that I live in. It did take some time for them to process everything, but it was surely worth the wait Because they were. They were talking about that they can only fund three months, but God had told me that he was going to take care of it, you know, for a whole year. So I stood on that and they ended up calling me. They were like look at some apartments, we have your. You know, we have your financials here, we have it under control. Just you pick wherever you want to be at in Harris County.

Speaker 2: 38:10

I ended up calling them to get a hold of that manager, case manager, and she was like we've been calling you and I was like I haven't received any calls. And she was like that's so strange. We left you voicemails. It's like, literally, I haven't gotten any calls, any voicemails, nothing. And she was like, well, um, you know how we mentioned three months. Well, we actually got you covered for a full year. And I was like what? In that moment? I was just like he's a promise keeper. I heard him. I heard him right, I heard him correctly. He meant what he said. That was truly him. You know, that wasn't an emotion, that wasn't a thought of my own, it was actually him telling me. So it strengthened me and I was like, yeah, this is it somebody that you?

Speaker 1: 38:57

you said you ordered. What is it? A Starbucks, was it you ordered?

Speaker 2: 39:01

a yeah, so, um, so she went and got it for me, um, and that's all that I had ordered that morning. So before she even got there, I was already like, heavily in the presence person.

Speaker 1: 39:14

I'm sorry she was a door dash uash Uber Eats or Uber Eats or.

Speaker 2: 39:24

Yeah, she was an Uber.

Speaker 1: 39:26

Eats driver. Wow yes, so how did that conversation come about so?

Speaker 2: 39:31

um, she got. She got there late, so I was standing outside of the RV that I was living in at the time I heard God telling me that I was going to speak to her. So I was like, okay, lord, whatever it is that you have, you know, um, speak clearly. And and let it be you and not me she got off of her car and she just laid out everything. She was like I don't know what it was. She just kind of threw herself on me like literally, like hugged me and just cried and laid everything out. And I was just like, wow, how am I? And I was telling the Lord, how am I to comfort someone when I need comfort myself? And he said well, this is what I sent you to do Comfort others even when you're not comforted.

Speaker 2: 40:19

So she was expressing to me how she was trying to escape domestic violence and I had just experienced something with that. You know, my ex and I was trying to leave. You know I was trying to figure out how to leave no money, nothing, no job. And she's like well, I have this phone number. I got it when I got out of jail and I've been calling them and they told me that they can help me. I think they can help. You have kids. You have kids. I was like, yeah, I have kids. And she was like they will probably hit you first because you have children. You know they're for mothers, they're for.

Speaker 1: 40:59

this was a um non-residential program.

Speaker 2: 41:03

Yeah, violent shelter yeah, because, uh, at that time I was in chattanooga, texas, and this shelter was I believe in.

Speaker 1: 41:12

Clearly, if you don was it Bay Area Turning Point.

Speaker 2: 41:17

Yeah, yeah, that's interviewed.

Speaker 1: 41:22

So I actually interviewed on the podcast Melissa from Bay Area Turning Point Wow, with their program and I'm glad you brought that up, because they do, you know and a lot of women, and so maybe there's someone who's going through something very similar that doesn't understand or realize that you don't always necessarily have to go stay at a shelter, that you can actually apply for the, the non-residential programs that they have, and that they also provide counseling sessions there. They provide you with a case manager. That there's provide counseling sessions there. They provide you with a case manager. That there's other resources out there too. If you're looking for counseling, I think there's Innovative Alternatives that offers six free or maybe it's eight free counseling sessions with Innovative Alternative, which partners with Bay Area Turning Point as well. Yeah, so I did take counsel too, yes, and so that's that's crazy. You know how, like I said, I'm very familiar with that program and when you're talking about that, you know and and I've seen that, I've seen that they've been able to help other women too. You know, know with those, because you're right, some of those resources are only for three months. Yeah, very rarely do they have a program that can help for a year.

Speaker 1: 42:45

Right, there is a true Testament on how God moves. In order to get you, you know, to tell you I'm here. You know to tell you I'm here, like right here. I just need for you to be obedient. I need for you to relinquish your control and allow me to do what I need to do, you know, so that you can do the things that you need to do in order to carry out what I'm asking me to do, right. So it's like God knows that he positions himself in such a way.

Speaker 1: 43:18

Now, mind you, my story is a story that took place 20 years ago, and so here I am now, you know, fast forward. You know, I ended up meeting my now husband, my, you know who's my husband. I have two children. I, as a single mom, ended up going back to school, graduated from college and am now in my career and now have my own business. And so now you know, with that being said, you're now in this apartment. You're you're in this place now and you're making things happen in your life. So talk to me a little bit about now how you've gone through all of that You're in your life. So talk to me a little bit about now how you've gone through all of that, you're in this place. How did you decide to be ordained?

Speaker 2: 44:05

So I was very skeptical about going back to church. I was very ashamed. I was scared to show my face at church because I felt God, because I had already been in church and was already growing and on fire and, like you know, I didn't want to show my face. But God threw a sermon that I watched on television. While I watched it, it was like something in me. I was like I need, I need that again. I need to congregate, I need to join forces again with the body of Christ. I can't isolate myself anymore. I got to go.

Speaker 2: 44:50

So I messaged sister Lily, who, um. I messaged sister Lily who, um, she has always bless her. She has always taken me open arms back when I misbehaved. So I messaged her and I was like hey, it's me again. You know, um, and mind you, she's always like, she's always been there, always. So so, hey, how have you been? It's been a while.

Speaker 2: 45:22

I was like are you still doing Bible studies? You know, like I was like you know what, maybe I should get my foot in there first. Maybe I should just go to Bible study first, start slow. So she's like yeah, yeah, we're still having them. I would love for you to come. I have a new girls here that would love to meet you. You know, very just, loving, genuine, not even a you know where have you been? It just come on, come on back. So it I was like, okay, lord, just give me this, just just let me start small, you know.

Speaker 2: 45:56

So I go to Bible study and it's just like nothing happened. I felt warm love, care from every woman there. I felt welcomed. She didn't make me speak about anything, you know about what was going on. She didn't even ask you. Just, you know, let God flow, and continuously going as a group. She invited me to apostle Tess's Um, it was a conference about, uh, mothers. I'm trying to think of what the name was. It was the power of a praying mother and, yeah, it was that one. And we were going to go as a group for the Bible study group. So that would have been my first. That was my first conference I ever attended.

Speaker 2: 46:39

So I was really excited. I was like, you know, I was already filling myself up with the word. I was already like getting. I was already hearing him again. Clearly I was the prophetic was coming back. You know, my eyes, spiritually, were opening, like I was in the zone. So he had already been pressing on me like get ready, get ready, I'm about, I'm about to shake you up, I'm about to do something new with you, so get ready at this conference.

Speaker 2: 47:07

And so I was still kind of fighting with that thought of am I going to mess up again, you know, am I going to keep pushing through or am I going to mess up? So it's being hard on myself, you know, like I'm feeling the fire again, but you know, the enemy will always remind you of those things that you, you know that you've done in your past. So I'm like no, I'm on fire, this is it. So I go to that conference and I got so much confirmation from every woman there conference and I got so much confirmation from every woman there. It's like God was speaking through every woman and I cried and I cried and I cried. And my pastor at the time she's the co-pastor at the church that I attend she was sitting next to me and she just looked over at me and she was like this was so for you, this, this was. I could feel God like here in this room with us, like this was for you, wasn't it? And I was like, yes, like I know for sure that I need to go. Like, for sure, this is it, I can do this these women are giving. This was the hope that I needed. Remember, I told you I have been isolating myself, but this is the reason why we have to gather together To hear these stories, to hear the hope, to hear how God, the hurt, the pain that they pushed, these women pushed through and they made it out. So I was like, wow, no woman in my life has that testimony In my family. Everybody stuck it out, everybody took the beatings and I said, heck, no, that won't be me. So, being in the midst of some powerful women, I was like this is giving me strength. This is it, like, I can do this. You know, like this, is it so.

Speaker 2: 48:52

When I met apostle Tess and I shook her hand and she was like, no, give me a hug. You know, give me a hug, girl, because you know she's so loving and everything and first time meeting her. So I was like, ok, you know, here you go. And just seeing her boldness, seeing God in her, you know how he speak to her, I said, man, I admired this woman. Wow, like she spoke so, so eloquently but powerful. You know, like eloquent but powerful. I was like I need, I need to be near this woman. I need to be near her. You know, I, I, I like this. And God was like, well, you're going to friend her on Facebook after you go home. I was like, ok, so I go and I friend her, and for a while I'm pretty sure she's pretty popular. So she didn't get to get my friend request to like.

Speaker 2: 49:49

Months later I never took it personal because I understand she's a busy woman, so, but I followed her so I was able to see like every update, every update, and so it just stayed in my spirit like God told me I'm gonna be near her. You know, like he's like you, like her. I sent you here. This is a divine appointment, you're gonna be near her. And I was like, okay, so I followed her Facebook, always watched, watched her lives. And, sure enough, I got invited to speak at a women's class it was called Brave and Beautiful, at Grace Church, and I did not know that Apostle Tess was going to be there. So she was a guest speaker and so was I, but we both didn't know that we were going to be there.

Speaker 2: 50:35

So that was my second time seeing her so, literally in that moment was when I was like, wow, okay, god, I don't know what you're up to, but I need you to be clear to me, because you told me I was going to be around her again. Here we are, and it was such a beautiful moment. You know, I was like like God used her greatly. God spoke through me in a mighty way that I was like this is not me. This was really an out-of-body experience. So right after that, um, I I just pressed in the word and that's whenever he told me are you gonna answer me now, are you gonna accept this call that I placed on your life? And I was like, well, what is that, lord?

Speaker 2: 51:17

you know what, what, what is it? Because I've wondered for so many years why am I here? You know, what am I here for, you know? And that's when he was like this are you gonna answer? And I was like, well, I, I don't know what I'm answering. And, sure enough, a few, a few days go by, and that's when she shared that she was doing the ordination training and God's like I want you to join and you're going to be mentored under her, and this is where you're going to learn more, this is where you're going to be taught more, and this is where you're going to grow more, where you're going to learn a lot more about your gifts and what I'm going to do with you. But are you going to listen? Yeah, I need you to listen and be obedient, and so I just I said yes, this is the next chapter in my life, this is the new starting point.

Speaker 1: 52:12

And you know, and I know that currently you're still in the in the midst, still going through things, cause I know that in talking, you know you mentioned how you know you've been laid off, you know how you're still going through some things that are going to get you there. You know that you're still going through a process, Right, and, like I said, I and in hearing your story just kind of reminds me of my humble beginnings, where I was still where God was truly in the midst of all of that and I was just fully trusting him and I knew that he was going to, you know, get me out to. You know, get me out. And I know, and I could hear it and I could feel it, because I do see where God is really. And that's why I said, you know, I got to hear you speak at one of her conferences. I said this young lady has you know very. You know our stories are very, very similar, you know, and you always stayed in my mind, you know, and I was like I know that one day I'm going to get this young lady on the podcast.

Speaker 1: 53:17

And here's the thing we know you're not quite where you need to be yet and we know that there's still things that God is still working through in your life, but in all of that, one of the things that I see is that you're still being obedient to where God is calling you and God is still taking care of you. God is still providing for you in this season and that's a blessing, you know. That's a blessing because I can see where God was still there in my life, you know, even when I thought, oh my God, like I can't catch a break. But in reality, you know, god was just growing us and God is just growing you. You know God was growing me at that time and and I see where I'm sitting at now and where I see you sitting I always like to look at it as a mirror, reflection experience, because it it's like I know where you're at right now.

Speaker 1: 54:19

I know what you've gone through and I know that yours is still a little bit still fresh but it's almost like God puts people in your life that have gone through what you're currently going through to show you what you are going to be in the future. Clearly came to me as we're sitting here is that God is going to use you in a mighty and powerful way, and where you are today is not where you're always going to be in. Like I can see God using you and like when you're 20 years into your story, just as I am, you're going to be sitting before someone telling them I am you in 20 years. Yeah, I am you in 20 years. You know you're going to be me in 20 years. So the thing you know like this is what God is showing you today is that this is you, I am your representation of yourself in 20 years.

Speaker 1: 55:21

So, sister, I just want to say thank you so much for saying yes to God's calling. Thank you so much for you know, being on here today to share your story of how God is using you today and how God was showing you all along what you're going to be sharing with them and how he's still prepping you and developing you into bigger and bigger platforms to be on. And so, sister, with that being said, I just want to say thank you so much for joining me today and for being so open and transparent and sharing your story. If there's one thing that you could leave the listener that's hearing this today, what would that?

Speaker 2: 56:03

be For anybody, any woman that's listening to this right now. I would just want you to know that there is hope in Christ. You're not alone, even when you feel alone. He sees every tear, he hears every cry. He literally will pick you up and put you back together. Even if it's your third time, even if it's your fourth time, don't be afraid to go back. Don't be afraid to ask God to help you again. Number one do not be afraid to go back to church. Do not care about what people are going to say. Keep your eyes fixed on the Lord and he will give you those heart desires that he says in his word that he will. Those heart desires will flourish.

Speaker 1: 56:52

And if somebody wanted to get connected to you or with you, just to reach out to you and you know and have a conversation how can they get a hold of you?

Speaker 2: 57:00

Yeah, so as of right now, I only have Facebook. I think I'm going to go ahead and make an Instagram, but for now I'm just Denise Rodriguez on Facebook.

Speaker 1: 57:10

All right. Well, I just want to say thank you so much again, sister, for being on the show with me today and, you know, just sharing your story with us. And I mean, if you're listening to this episode today, I just you know and you feel like somebody could really benefit from this episode or resonate with the message. Please share, who knows where their life may be at right now. And so we just appreciate you so much for being on the show, for you listening. I just want to say thank you all so much for tuning in and listening today and I can't wait to see y'all next week on the Mommy on a Mission podcast. Thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast.

Speaker 1: 57:53

If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe. Leave a review and share it with your amigas. And before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media. Follow us on Instagram at Mommy on a Mission podcast, and on Facebook at Mommy on a Mission. If you're considering working with a coach, but aren't sure. If you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the tower is within you. Adios, amigas.