Breaking Free: Finding Confidence Beyond External Pressures

Have you ever felt crushed under the weight of others' expectations? That constant pressure to be everything to everyone while somehow maintaining your own sense of self? In this transformative episode of MAMI on a Mission Podcast, we explore the journey from external validation to authentic empowerment.

Drawing from personal experience, I share my path from childhood fearlessness to shattered confidence through betrayal and criticism, and finally to rediscovery of worth through faith. We examine how confidence naturally erodes as we age, but can be powerfully rebuilt through truth and self-compassion. Romans 12:2 reminds us that transformation begins with renewing our minds—replacing harmful messages with God's perspective.

The heart of our conversation centers on four life-changing pillars: building confidence in Christ, developing faith-fueled resilience, finding balance through priorities rather than perfection, and living with purposeful impact. Each area represents a crucial step toward freedom from external pressures. We explore practical applications of scriptures like 2 Corinthians 12:9, where God's strength shines brightest in our weaknesses, and Matthew 11:28, which invites us to find rest in surrender rather than striving.

Perhaps most powerful is the recognition that your unique combination of natural talents and spiritual gifts exists for a divine purpose. You weren't created to merely meet others' expectations—you were designed for impact that reaches far beyond what conformity could ever achieve. Ready to break free from the exhausting cycle of people-pleasing and step into confident, purposeful living? This episode offers both inspiration and practical guidance for your journey. What expectations are you ready to release today?

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro and Program Announcement
• 2:38 Childhood Confidence and Adult Struggles
• 5:00 Building Faith-Fueled Resilience
• 7:28 Breaking Free From External Expectations
• 12:44 Discovering Purpose and Spiritual Gifts
• 21:17 Reflection Points and Program Invitation
• 22:15 Closing and Contact Information

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Do you ever feel like you're pulled in a hundred different directions, trying to keep everyone happy, live up to expectations and still find time for yourself? Maybe your confidence has taken a hit, your resilience feels worn down and balance feels like something you'll never achieve. What if I told you it doesn't have to stay this way? What if I told you it doesn't have to stay this way, that there's a way to rise above external pressures and live with confidence, strength and purpose? Well, that's what we're diving into today on Mommy on a Mission podcast. And Mommy, before we jump in, I want to remind you that enrollment for the Empower Her 12-week coaching program is open now. The next cohort begins September 28th at 5 pm, central Standard Time. If you're ready to step into freedom and clarity, this is your chance to walk through the transformation with me, step-by-step. And here's the bonus If you mention this episode, you'll receive 25% off your enrollment, using code EMPOWER25. Spots are limited, so don't wait. You'll find all the details in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 1:18

Welcome to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. I'm Mariana, your host and the number one bestselling author of Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing self-discovery and walking in confidence as a dedicated life coach, wife, mom yaya and, most importantly, daughter of the king. I am passionate about empowering multifaceted women just like you. In each episode, we dive deep into transformative topics that help you reignite your passion and purpose. My unique approach is designed to help you overcome the fear of external expectations and create the space and time you need for both increased job satisfaction and personal growth. Join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we explore practical strategies, inspiring stories and actionable insights. Together, we'll navigate the complexities of life and emerge stronger, more confident and truly aligned with our deepest desires. Welcome to the Mom in a Mission podcast, your go-to resource for living a more purposeful and fulfilling life. So grab your Tazzaf Cafe y vamos a platicar. Hey, amiga, welcome back to Mommy on a Mission podcast. I'm Ariana and I'm so glad you're here. First of all, I want you to grab your cafecito, your notepad and a pen because you're gonna. First of all, I want you to grab your cafecito, your notepad and a pen because you're going to want to take some notes for this one. This is episode two in our Empower Her series, and today we're talking about overcoming external expectations. We'll look at four key areas that can shift your life, building confidence in Christ, areas that can shift your life, building confidence in Christ, developing resilience, finding balance and living a life of impact. And, mommy, I'll be sharing pieces of my own journey, the highs, the lows and the lessons, so you know you're not walking this road alone. Are you ready? Well, let's get started Now.

Speaker 1: 3:21

Listen, when I think about confidence, my mind goes back to my childhood. I was fearless. I wasn't afraid to climb trees, get up on rooftops or even ride my bike off ramps. I built myself Back then. I didn't care what anyone thought. I was bold, determined and full of life.

Speaker 1: 3:39

But as I stepped into my teenage years, things began to shift. Suddenly I cared about how I looked, who I hung out with and how I compared to others, and that's when my confidence started to dip. And then in adulthood, especially in my marriage, it plummeted. Experiencing adultery, infidelity, lies and constant words telling me I was nothing left me broken. The girl who once climbed rooftops without fear now struggled to believe she had any worth. Well, maybe you've been there too. Maybe life and hurtful words have chipped away at the boldness God placed inside you. But here's the truth the confidence God gave you as a child is still in you. It may be buried under lies, comparison or betrayal, but in Christ it can be restored. Romans 12.2 reminds us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Confidence rooted in him doesn't crumble with criticism, it only grows stronger. So where did you first notice your confidence start to fade, and what truth from God's word can you speak into that place?

Speaker 1: 5:00

Today, although my confidence began to decline, one thing I noticed is that I still had a little left in me. Each time I experienced hurt, like infidelity, or when my ex-husband didn't show up because of a drug binge, I never quite gave up. I had every reason to quit, but something in me kept pressing forward. I don't know. I suppose it was my children who motivated me to not give up completely. They needed me and that gave me strength, even when I felt empty. But looking back I can see that it wasn't just me. It wasn't just me.

Speaker 1: 5:49

It was also during that season that I was discovering God in a way right and in my faith, though small, was beginning to fuel me. At the time I didn't always recognize it, you know it's like I would dismiss certain things, but what I do know is that I felt lonely and deep down inside I knew I wasn't completely alone. And, mommy, that's what resilience in faith looks like. It's not about being strong all the time. It's about knowing that even in your weakest moments, god is carrying you. And trust me, there were a lot of nights where I needed God because I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. And I've had my fair share of heartaches and disappointments. But God kept going, even on the days when I wanted to give up. And that's what it means to be faith-fueled, knowing that he is your strength when yours has run out. And this reminds me of 2 Corinthians 12, 19, which says my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Isn't that amazing Like to know that his grace is sufficient for you, or that his power is made perfect when I'm feeling weak or when you're feeling weak. So think about your last setback. How did God carry you through it, even when you didn't realize it at the time?

Speaker 1: 7:27

And there's a certain expectation women face, and I know it well. For me, the external expectation growing up was that I should be a stay-at-home mom, what my ex would call being barefoot and pregnant. How many times have you heard that I was expected to look and act a certain way in front of his friends and family. And when I say that the expectation was for me to grow up to be a stay-at-home mom, let me just remind you that it was because of the upbringing I had. My mom could only extend what she knew, and what she knew was to be a stay-at-home mom. No one encouraged her, no one showed her any different, so therefore, she taught me the only thing that she knew to teach me.

Speaker 1: 8:18

However, there are still individuals out there that that is what they expect. They expect the woman to just be barefoot and pregnant. Now, yes, we are called to have children. Yes, we are called to have families. Yes, that is the ministry that God has given each and every one of us, right, and I would think that for many, if we had the opportunity to stay at home with our children, we would but to expect that and to demand it, almost, and to act in a certain way, because he's got to look and when I say he, I'm talking about my ex-husband he's got to represent a certain thing about himself that, right, there is not what it's meant to be, because it was okay for him to go out to clubs, but I was expected to stay home and not ask questions. I was expected to keep the house clean and meals prepared, even if he didn't come home for days, or sometimes weeks, because of his binges. But here's the thing it wasn't realistic for me to be that woman because deep inside of me, I felt God calling me to more.

Speaker 1: 9:40

When I finally left him, I enrolled in college and I've said this before, but if this is your first time listening to me, you're going to get a little glimpse of my story, probably in each episode. But yes, I finally enrolled in college, and that's when the criticism came again. He would call me, cursing at me, telling me I had no business going to school. Working was fine because the kids were with me, but college, no. He wanted me to believe I couldn't juggle it all that as a single mom. It was impossible. But, mommy, here's the truth.

Speaker 1: 10:20

God showed me how to find balance. I couldn't do everything alone, but I didn't have to. God gave me help. God gave me help through resources, people and flexibility. Was I exhausted? Yes, was it impossible? No, why? Because I had to find, or I had to figure out where those resources were, and I would pray to God. I was like Lord, please, I need your help, even to this very day, even in the business street that I operate and for those of you who don't understand what business street is, it's business plus ministry, because that's what I have.

Speaker 1: 11:05

And God is in the forefront of this business street, and when I make decisions or when I have to do things, I go to him because he's going to be the one who's going to provide me the resources. He's the one that's going to provide me the way in order to sustain this that he's calling me to do. And so Jesus says in Matthew 11, 28,. Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, matthew 11, 28,. Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Ecclesiastes, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1: 11:42

Ecclesiastes 3, 1 reminds us there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. And I'll give you one more. Luke 8, 27 seals it with what is impossible with man is possible with God. Balance doesn't come from doing it all on your own. It comes from surrendering the impossible to him and trusting that he will make a way, even now, in this season, as I mentioned, of building my business tree, working full time, raising kids, managing after school activities and making time for my husband and myself. It isn't easy, but balance isn't about perfection, it's about priorities. So where in your life do you need to ask for help and create space? With your family, with your faith or for yourself? Everything that I've experienced in the last 21 years has taught me this. God has been equipping me all along. He's given me both natural talents and spiritual gifts.

Speaker 1: 13:02

From the moment I was born, my mom noticed my fearlessness, that I was determined and that I was going to be heard. As a matter of fact, I remember her telling me that. So I'm a twin, for those of you who don't know and I remember her telling me that when my sister was born. So actually, I should have been the first one to be born, but my sister was positioned first, and so I was the one that caused my mom to go into labor. So, therefore, what I was doing was I was literally pushing my sister out so that I could come for minutes later, and my sister really was not ready. She was comfortable in the womb. And let me just say this too we were born two months early. We were born at seven months. So, no, my mom should not have gone into labor right away, but it was because of me that my mom went into labor Anyhow. So my mom, I mean. So then here I am positioned and I'm literally pushing my sister out of the womb so that I could come.

Speaker 1: 14:18

My sister is born, and my sister is born fast asleep, so much so that they thought, my sister, there was something wrong because the doctors tried to make her cry and she would not cry. They had a hard time. Like they were banging on the table where she was, they were trying to spank her and nothing. Like she was not reacting, and so there was some form of fear with that. And so, while they're working on her, trying to get her to cry, here I am.

Speaker 1: 14:53

I'm being born, and I am born wide awake. My mom says that my eyes were just like open, wide. I was looking everywhere. I started crying right away, and that's when she knew that I was going to be that one that was just going to probably give her hell, I don't know, but I was just like wide awake. And even as we were, you know, getting older, as we were developing and we were at home, my mom says I was the first one to start walking, that I was always, you know, just running around everywhere, that I was always, you know, just running around everywhere. I was the one climbing out of the play pens and my sister was always, just, you know, very calm. She wasn't doing a lot. And that's crazy because, even to this very day, my sister and I are as opposite as night and day. I'm still the one that goes out. I'm talking, I'm just in the mix with everything and my sister is just like I don't want to talk to people, I don't care to talk to people. That is your thing, not my thing. So you have at it, right, and it was just crazy. It's just crazy.

Speaker 1: 16:10

And even to this day, like I said, I'm the one that talks all the time. And it's no surprise to her that I have a podcast. It's no surprise to her that I'm an author of a book. It's no surprise to her that I go on speaking engagements. None of this surprises her because she said you know, you always wanted to be like an actress. You always wanted to, you know, be present in things and she goes. So it doesn't surprise me, she goes me. On the other hand, I just can't do that. She goes. As a matter of fact, my sister has told people that I could be sitting at a bus stop and whoever sitting next to me, I'm going to be talking to them and she's like I don't even want to sit next to this person. But that's just how different we are.

Speaker 1: 16:48

And so, like I mentioned before, you know my mom raised us both to be housewives. You know, my dad taught me all that he knew. My mom taught me all that she knew. But life would teach me more and God would show me more. Why? Because I was meant for more.

Speaker 1: 17:06

God began speaking through people telling me I was too smart not to go to college, reminding me that I had leadership skills, even though fear made me doubt myself. Opportunities for leadership would come, but when it came for the time, for the title or the pay, I froze. I declined, afraid to fail. But God kept placing me in positions of leadership. Anyway, he reminded me of people in scripture, such as Moses, deborah, jonah, mary and Martha, ordinary people he equipped to lead in extraordinary ways. And I realized my leadership wasn't for the world's approval, it was for him and it still is. And, as I mentioned in last week's episode, everything I am and everything I've done has been for the purpose of serving his people, and serving him. God has used life lessons, education and scripture to shape me into a servant leader and mommy. That's what living a life of impact is all about.

Speaker 1: 18:21

Your story, your gifts, your presence it's not just for you, it's for the people God has called you to serve. That is your purpose. Matthew 5, 16 says Let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. So then I ask if you stopped measuring yourself against the world's expectations, how would you use your gifts to impact others for God's glory? And if you're unsure of what your gifts are, what your spiritual gifts are, then let me invite you to take a spiritual assessment. I will share that with you so that you could learn what your spiritual gifts are, because we all have spiritual gifts.

Speaker 1: 19:28

If you have given your life to Christ, then you have been gifted spiritual gifts, and you also have natural talent. We all do. And so you may ask well, what's the difference between a spiritual gift and a natural talent? Well, gifts are given to you when you have sought out salvation. Natural talent is what God has already given you, that you have either been born with, such as maybe you're very athletic, maybe you are gifted with singing, maybe in the arts, I don't know, maybe speaking in front of people, those are your natural, maybe you're a natural leader. But even with natural talents, you can still refine them. For example, if you are someone who wasn't born naturally to sing, you can still master it. Even with sports, you could still master it and you can develop those talents. But spiritual gifts comes from God when you have sought out salvation.

Speaker 1: 20:39

So here's what I want you to reflect on this week. I want you to ask yourself where am I finding my confidence? Where's your confidence coming from? How am I allowing challenges to grow my resilience? What would balance look like for me right now? And, lastly, how can I use my gifts to live with greater impact?

Speaker 1: 21:17

This conversation here, mommy, is just a glimpse of part two of the Empower Her 12-week coaching program. And, amiga, if something in your spirit is stirring, don't ignore it. Enrollment for the Empower Her 12-week coaching program is open now and class begins September 28th. Schedule your interview today and don't forget, mention this episode for 25% off your enrollment with the code Empower25.

Speaker 1: 21:49

So, amiga, I want to thank you for spending this time with me and, if you feel led, please share this episode with an Amiga who's ready to break free from external expectations. And check the link in the show notes for all the details. And until next time, remember you are loved, you are chosen and you are on a mission. Thank you for tuning in to the Mommy on a Mission podcast. If you found today's episode inspiring, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with your amigas.

Speaker 1: 22:32

And, before you go, if you're looking to dive deeper into healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, be sure to grab a copy of my book Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing, self-discovery and walking in confidence, available now on Amazon. Stay connected with me on social media. Follow us on Instagram at Mommy on a Mission Podcast, and on Facebook at Mommy on a Mission. If you're considering working with a coach, but aren't sure if you're ready, send me a DM and I will send you a free gift to help you get started on your journey. Until next Saturday, keep shining and remember the tower is within you. Adios, amigas.