Deep Thoughts with Tots - Discipline, Rebellion, and Living Without Fear

In this episode of Going Rogue, Angie Manson sits down with Tots for a raw and unfiltered conversation about discipline, routine, personal morality, and the fine line between resilience and over-exertion. They explore the impact of old-school values versus modern mental health perspectives, the evolution of fear culture, and how societal shifts have affected everything from fitness to parenting. Tots shares insights on how he maintains his rigorous discipline while balancing self-awareness, avoiding overtraining, and living by his own personal code—regardless of what society deems acceptable. From fitness and gut health to the impact of social conditioning, this episode challenges conventional wisdom and asks: Are we coddling ourselves into weakness?

Key Topics: 

1. Discipline and Routine as a Lifestyle
   • Tots is often recognized as a pillar of consistency, but he doesn't consciously strive for it—he just is that way.
   • He believes in showing up, regardless of how he feels, and avoiding "paralysis by analysis."
   • The importance of keeping commitments to oneself and the potential regret of skipping workouts.
2. The Fine Line Between Pushing Yourself and Overtraining
   • Struggling with knowing whether you're being smart about rest or just making excuses.
   • Recent minor injuries have forced him to reassess his approach to training and recovery.
   • The mental battle of giving oneself "grace" versus simply avoiding discomfort.
3. Parenting and Selflessness
   • His focus on his kids means his own desires often take a backseat.
   • Encouraging kids to be outside, get dirty, and avoid excessive screen time.
   • The irony of overprotected children being sick more often due to lack of exposure to germs.
4. Mental Health vs. Old-School Grit
   • Tots has an old-school mentality—show up, push through, and don’t overthink things.
   • The shift from personal responsibility to external diagnoses and over-medication.
5. The Gut-Brain Connection & the Impact of Modern Living
6. The Rise of Fear Culture & The Weakening of Society

This episode is a must-listen for those who value discipline, question societal norms, and want to reclaim their independence in a world that seems to prioritize comfort over growth.

👉 Tune in, challenge your perspective, and don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! 🎙️💪

Full Video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/wK5YsgEVN8E

Transcript

[MUSIC]
What are we going to talk about, Tots?
I don't know. What are we going to talk about?
Well, I will say this.
Yesterday I did two podcasts,
one with Jay G, one with Jayden.
Oh, no. No, sure.
Both referenced you as far as
the pillar of consistency and discipline and routine.
You definitely lead by example with that.
Well, that's nice.
Yeah. Why do you think they say that?
I don't know. I don't really know.
Maybe because you're consistent and you're disciplined?
I guess. I mean, people say things about me.
I mean, I don't fucking,
I don't try to be anything.
Yeah.
Right?
But isn't that better? You're just yourself.
You just be.
Right. It's like, yeah, no,
I don't realize a lot of things until people are like, oh,
they will say something and it's like,
"Oh, I never really thought of that."
Yeah. Well, and especially how far you've come.
I mean, do you still in your mind view yourself as that teenager persona,
or you actually actualize and see yourself the way you are now?
I don't think that much about that sort of stuff, I guess.
I don't know. Yeah. I mean, part of it,
I just don't think about myself a lot, I guess. Right? Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
I just don't. So maybe that's why.
I think that's maybe part of the trick, right?
As like and I'll tell people like hey fucking like don't think about it. Just
Just do it. You know, just fucking yeah, don't think about it
Like just come into the gym don't psyche yourself out or whatever. Yeah, because we see a lot is
Paralysis by analysis, right? They would they think it
They overthink it to the point of
inactivity and they do nothing
Right, whereas if you just show up and then you never have the regret that you went right?
Right, right
Yeah, and and I guess like I don't know and even more so and maybe it's not like it's not that positive. I
don't think like is
that um
With the kids right having kids and everything
It's just like okay, like it's not like hey, you know, it's not like what do you want to do?
Yeah, I want you dots, you know, that doesn't come up that much. It's just like, okay, like hey
What do you guys want to do like true?
Because if they did what you wanted to do, they'd probably be bored and they wouldn't know you and then you wouldn't enjoy what you're doing
Right, right. And I'll sometimes like encourage him like hey, let's let's go out on a walk or whatever
But it's just like I think about more them more than you know, yeah like myself or whatever and you know, I don't
Analyze
My you know certain routines right? It's just like okay. Well, that's that's what I do. Whatever
What would happen if you woke up and didn't go work out didn't go work out? Oh
Like you broke that routine just yeah, I mean just for the heck of it. Yeah. I mean that happens and I'll all
I
usually I
Have like I have FOMO
They're gonna do a great workout without you right you're gonna miss the gains
I'll miss the gains. I'll miss
The people or you know, yeah something happy, you know, yeah, right like it's always the same
Say fucking shit every morning, right? Like it's kind of right. It's like, okay, like yeah, this person's you know
Talking to so-and-so about whatever, you know the same like people are like, okay
these three are fucking being loud or whatever and
You know, I'll usually like roll in and I'll be like kind of you know annoyed that people are being well
Yeah, you love it. Right going back. Yeah. Yeah, exactly
Right, and it's it's a lot of it's very very like predictable, but then I'll like, you know
I'll get like, oh fuck. Like what did I miss out on? Yeah, no, yeah
Yeah, and then you'll have to go do like three workouts that day. Yeah. And yeah, it'll definitely linger in my mind
I
Guess like a little little bit of guilt. Mmm, right or just
Yeah, I didn't I didn't do as much as I could yeah
Do you think about that a lot like you could have done more you should have done more you constantly like it sounds like kind
Of David Goggins ish in my head like you're constantly just pushing yourself
And if you're not pushing yourself, you're beating yourself up for not pushing yourself. Yeah, I mean
yes, but I think I'm getting smarter about it, right and
I
Think it's like it's always like a fine line between like are you being smarter? Are you being pussy?
Right, are you giving yourself grace? Are you giving yourself an excuse? Right, right that one
I struggle with because I have so many people like and you give yourself grace and I'm like am I giving myself too much grace?
Because now I'm just feeling lazy, right? It feels justifiable. But at the same time I
Probably would have felt better had I done it right for sure. Yeah, and yeah, I like recently
Like the past like past six months or so I've had like I think I've had a not a ton but a few
Minor injuries. Mm-hmm, right like a series
Um, so that's like, you know, then I realized okay, you know, I'm pushing myself and I'm not recovering properly
So yeah over training you think right, right? So, um
So it's you know, it's been hard to be like try to you know, try to be smarter about things, right? Yeah, and not go like
I'm just being pussy or whatever, you know, so it's like yeah to be able to tell that difference. Yeah
Well that comes with like age and experience so to write like you try it a certain way and then you start to realize okay?
When I do that this happens, right? But I don't know
I mean when you're first starting out like with working out or whatever, you don't know you're just kind of winging it all the time. Exactly
You're just kind of winging at all the time.
Exactly. Exactly. Right. Yeah. I think it comes with experience, but it's hard, right?
'Cause it's, you know, for other people, I'll look at other people and go, you know.
And they'll tell me like, "Oh, like, you know, I don't, you know,
I'm not going to come in today because of this or I'm not going to, you know,
whatever." And then a lot, you know, and I'll see it.
I'll see it like, you know, okay, well, they're just being a fucking pussy.
They're not being smart. Right. So it's kind of like a, it's a very fine line, I think.
Yeah. Well, and I have to, and also, I think with this newer-ish generation,
they're sort of trained to be that way. Right? Like, 'cause when we were younger,
it was like, you showed up, rain, snow, sick, allergy, illness, injury. It didn't matter.
Right. You had an obligation and you showed up.
And now it depends, it's kind of swung pretty hard the other way, where it's like,
if you even have a sniffle, you should not come in because, my gosh, that could
infect somebody else or who knows what it is. So it's almost like it's pushed things
in the complete opposite way, which makes managing younger people a little more difficult.
Because if you try to call them on that and try to call them a pussy, then they have breakdowns.
Now we have mental health days. So. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I'm definitely like,
right, like, you know that I'm just more of that like old school, right. Yeah.
Pre like mental health. Right. Yeah. Pre like the infiltration of mental health
into like every sector of society. Yeah. Right. When do you think that's gone bad?
Like the last 10 years, 20 years? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's like,
if it's intentional. I don't know if it's by design or not. Right. But I, yeah, I definitely blame
the mental health field. Right. Right. Which is funny because, you know, people think I'm
in the mental health field. And, you know, but yeah, I don't know. I mean, definitely
there was a shift probably 80s, you know, and even like even when I was growing up, probably 70s,
80s. Well, and it's really frustrating because we see like a lot of the people that come into
the program that have been diagnosed, you know, ADHD, you know, the whole myriad of things. And
then when we get them completely detox off all their medications, the light bulb goes on like,
wait a minute. Why was I why was I sort of diagnosed that? And a lot of times they're
being diagnosed while they're in addiction, while they're using while they're detoxing,
like they're not even in their correct state of mind. But now they're being labeled with a
mental health disorder that now they have the rest of their lives, a lot of them if they don't get
help otherwise. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And I was listening to something this morning about that.
And I've been listening to like a lot of Japanese recently. And this guy was he was talking about
all kinds of stuff. But he was saying that, you know, the doctors are trained a certain way now.
Right. You know, he said he said Western medicine. Right. I guess it is Western medicine. But it's
just like, okay, you know, you go to a doctor, the doctors are trained to put a label on it, first of
all, and then, you know, give medication, right. And then that way, the patient will be happy and
keep coming back. And it's a less liability for them. Because if you push a patient to do something
that is hard or difficult, or they don't want to do and something happens, they're getting a lawsuit.
So they're just like, consistently looking at like, CYA cover your ass like the least amount,
keep them happy, keep them coming back, but not to a visit just to the Medicaid pharmacy,
and getting that wheel going. Right. Yeah. And he was yeah, he was saying that, you know,
that you know, you would you used to go to your grandmother, right. And she would go,
that's just you know, that's just part of life. Yeah, that happens. You know, there's nothing wrong
with you. Yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah. Rub some dirt on it. Right. Exactly. Yeah, take a nap.
Right. And literally, that's that's what he was talking about, that, you know, he was talking
about, I guess, like, mental health, and then he was talking about physical health where, where I
was like, back in the days, right? Well, he was saying he might be a doctor, but he was saying,
like, the best advice you could give a kid, or a parent is during the cold season, tell your kids
to wash your hands less. Right? Because that's how you build an immune system. Right. Right. Well,
yeah. And we see how often people are getting sick now. I mean, after the pandemic, and everything
became so sterile, and segregated, I think we saw more illness than ever. And a lot of people's
immune systems never even recovered from that. Right. Right. No vitamin D, crappy food, tons of
alcohol, no socialization, sterilization of everything. Right, right. Yeah. He was talking
about, you know, back in the day, like, and he's this guy's like, way older than I am. But yeah,
you know, you'd like you'd get an apple, and then you wouldn't wash it, you know, you'd, like he was
talking about, you'd wipe it on your dirty ass pants. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, you know, hasn't been
washed in weeks. And then yeah, take a bite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or there was the five second rule. It's
like, ah, okay, as long as I pick it up in five seconds, it's okay to eat it on a filthy floor.
I don't know why five seconds was the rule. But as long as under five, I felt fine with eating
whatever fell on fell on the floor. Right, right. And I guess they, in English, they call it, they
call it the hygiene hypothesis. Okay. Yeah, where it's like, you know, people's people's,
people's immune systems are pretty much messed up because everything's like over sterilized,
and they're not exposed to the germs, you know, good or bad. Right. Right. Like fucking, you know,
and adding, yeah, hand washing, hand sanitizer, you know, mouthwash, I've been seeing stuff about
mouthwash and, you know, this and that. And yeah, people there, I think they're good, like microbiomes
get killed. Yeah. Right. They're good bacteria get killed. And, and they don't get exposed to,
you know, and build defenses against, you know, like foreign, like invaders, you know, like bad
bacteria or whatever. Totally. Yeah. I mean, like back when I was growing up, if somebody had the
chickenpox, you would take all the kids would go to that house, like purposely, your parents would
take you there to get it. Right. So you could get it and get over it. Right. And of course, nowadays
it's like, take the shots, but you still might get it. And then you might get shingles and then
you're still going to have this. So there's like no cure to it, except get it, get the immunity. And
then, you know, it lessens, but all that kind of like thought processes out the window now.
Right. Right. And I think that's like the same thing with just the same way, like the, the mental
health being the therapeutic, whatever the therapeutic community has like infiltrated, you know,
every sector of society, right? Schools, right? Workplaces, et cetera. And, you know, basically
sterilize the environment of all, you know, anything that could harm the child, right?
Right. Or the, or the adults or whatever. Or the adults. Yeah. So they grow weaker and weaker,
you know, and then throw in all the processed foods. Right. So then they're just processing crap and
chemicals and dyes and all that shit. Right. Yeah. It's no wonder we're in the condition that we're
in as a society. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's yeah, crazy. So should we just tell people like,
just go lick a random table? Like, come on, get your immune system off, expose yourself to shit.
I think so. I mean, yeah. You know, I think like, yeah, I mean, I like my kids, like I, it's hard,
right? And I'm always telling my kids like, go, go fucking outside, go play outside, you know,
get off the screens, you know. Yeah. Get, you know, get your hands in the dirt and everything
like that. And that's good. Right. Go play with the chickens. Chickens are like fondle them a bit.
Right. Right. Yeah. But I think it's like, super important to like,
and your kids aren't sick ever. Like, there's certain people like my daughter has a friend who
has a baby and she's a baby expert. I don't know why she self-proclaimed. She's like 20 years old,
but her kid is always sick, lives in a bubble, but is always sick. So she's always sick. So the
kid's always sick. So they don't ever go anywhere because the kid's always sick because the kid
never goes anywhere because he's always sick. It's like, wow, dude, that's their life. That's
this poor child's complete upbringing is sheltered in a house because it's always sick. Right. But
not being exposed to things that would create an immunity to not be sick anymore. Right. Right.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I think like, like dirt is super important. Yeah.
Do you believe in eating the dirt? Oh, is that the diametric kind of dirt you just die metric?
Yeah. Yeah. What does it? I've never taken it that far. I'm not eating dirt. Right. Right. But
if I had a really good brownie and it fell in dirt, I would still I'd wipe off that dirt and eat it.
Right. Right. Yeah. But right. Like it's like connection to the earth. Right. Yeah. And just,
yeah. Like, you know, farming or whatever. Right. Like putting your hands in the dirt and, you know,
like maybe washing the vegetables a little bit, but not too much. Yeah. Because because they say
that your body is more bacteria, more microorganisms than it is cells. Right. So, I mean, that's
you're more like bacteria, right, than you are like fucking human cells. That's weird. Yeah, it is.
So then if you're a good bacteria, then you don't get ill. But if you're got
compromised bacteria or bad bacteria, then you're more predisposed. Like how's that work?
Like, is it better to have more bacteria? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Like good bacteria,
they have like these good bacteria. Yeah. Right. Like they have these they've I know,
there's, you know, doctors and whatever researchers, scientists, they've been experimenting
with things called fecal transplants. Yep. Right. I've heard about this. I was at this health
retreat in Hawaii. And I wanted to lose weight, but it was like all vegan, not cooked. So my body was
probably just like rejecting it because it didn't know what to do with it. Vegan food. But at one
point, and I was like frustrated with the results because I felt like I was suffering. And I'm like,
why am I not losing weight? And she's like, well, maybe you have a problem with that. Like,
let's offer this solution. You know, you get some person's healthy bacteria from their
fecal glands, and then they implant it into your own colon and fecal and then it teaches your body
how to grow like good stuff. I'm like, I don't think I'm like at that point. Yeah. Right.
But that's been a thing for a while. Right. And even like, yeah, like mental health. Yeah. They
say, yeah, that they can, you know, cure depression or whatever. With that? Yeah.
With fecal implants? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what do they take the fecal from like a happy person?
Yeah. You're really happy and thin. We're going to take your fecal man. Right. Right. So people
could donate kind of like a sperm donor. Yeah, exactly. I'm sure it's not like concrete,
you know, like, okay, like it's been like concretely proven. But yeah, I think. But I
feel like it would make sense. Like they tested it out in a Petri dish or, you know, an animal
and saw the results. It wouldn't be around this long if there wasn't some validity to it. It's
just who's willing to do it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And there's people that go to these like these
remote tribes, right? The Amazon or whatever. Yeah. And they, you know, they collect poop.
They do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of these, you know, like of these incredible elderly shaman that are
like 100 years old. Yeah. Yeah. These tribes that are like super, super healthy, you know, they're
like, yeah, they collect the feces. And one of the things I think that they found out was that
the like the, whatever we call like, quote unquote, like good bacteria, right? Like, I don't know,
like L. bacillus, whatever, you know, like that, like these quote unquote, like good bacteria
that's in like yogurt and kimchi and, you know, and, you know, I don't know, L. acidophilus or
whatever. And all these pills. Yeah. But in these tribes people, they found none of the good bacteria,
these incredible like, you know, like tribes people. So then what does that mean? And they
found an abundance of like bad bacteria. It just means, you know, like, we don't. So maybe we want
bad bacteria. We don't want good bacteria because bad bacteria kills the bad stuff. I think it's
just that I think it means that like these people have like a ballpark idea of like the concept.
But it's like, right. It's they don't know like, you know, they don't know enough, right? They don't
like, you could buy, you know, these whatever digested enzymes, these, yeah, papaya enzymes,
all those things. Yeah. And you could buy these, what do you call it? Yeah. The pills that you take
with the, you know, the healthy, you know, microbiomes or whatever. Right. Yeah. But, you know,
it's like at the end of the day, you know, they don't know enough to say, okay, this is what you
need to take or whatever. Well, and I firmly believe a good portion of it is the state of your
mind. You know, you can have a super healthy body, but if your mind's not good, you're going to be
sick. You're going to be ill. You're going to be happy. You got to like work on your mind to have
a good body in my opinion. Yeah. So probably those people out in those tribes are living their best
lives out there. Probably several hundred years old, simple life, no, I don't want to say no stress,
because probably there's a survival component to it, but they're more masters of their mind
without social media and the other crap that we're inundated with. For sure. Right. Yeah,
I agree. And also they're like connected, I think, to the earth. Right. And I think there's like,
like wisdom in, you know, in the earth, for sure. That's why I'm saying like, as opposed to taking
a pill, go outside and fucking, you know, eat dirt rather than take a pill, probably. Yeah,
eat dirt, walk in the sand like we did last week, walk in the sun, walk in the surf. If you have
an ocean, we're fortunate enough walk in the forest. Right. I guess you could get that from
a desert. I kind of hate the desert, but it's still life. It's still, you know, it could probably still
be cool for some people. What's the desert? I mean, I grew up in Reno, so it was like tumbleweeds,
like desert, cactus, dry. Yeah, that's why I don't like it. It's just because I grew up there and it
wasn't my favorite. And then coming here, it was like the opposite. You know, we have the ocean,
we have the forest, everything's green. It doesn't go brown. We have no snow. Like this was the
complete opposite of the way I grew up. Yeah, no, I think there's, but there's a thing about like,
like, you know, environments where life thrives versus environments where life doesn't really
thrive. You know? Sure. I mean, go walk in the same forest. And it is like, I walked in there after the
rain. It's like everything is green. Million trees, leaves, creeks, like tons of stuff growing
everywhere. It's like, wow, that is life. Right. It's amazing. Like Hawaii. Right. Just, just like
green everywhere. Yeah. Warm water. Yeah. Right. And there's like, like teeming with life, you know?
Yeah, true. Certain parts of it. Yeah. Yeah. So what about peptides? Like that's becoming a big new
thing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know very much about it. No. No, I've heard a lot
about it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't either. I feel like I've gone through phases where I've
taken so many different kinds of supplements, hemp hearts, smoothies, throw in all these different
things. And now I've gone to a point where I barely take anything anymore. Fish oil. Because
I know we can't get enough of that in our diets. I take magnesium because it helps my body like to
relax, but other than calcium, because I know at my age, I need to replenish my calcium. But I don't
really take anything so much anymore. Right. Right. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. I don't know very much
about peptides at all. I've been like, I keep meaning to look into them. But yeah, I mean, same
right. Like I think, you know, I mean, like supplementing vitamins, there's just, again,
like, you know, not much research supporting the fact that they actually fucking do anything,
you know, as opposed to like, getting it from Whole Foods. Right. Yeah. Right. Which even though
I love supplements, you know, like you do. Yeah, I do. And I take them. But I'm trying to get,
you know, more diversity from foods, you know, things like that. Yeah, that makes sense. But
then again, now you got to look at the quality of your food. Right. Because if you're not getting
organic or growing it yourself, and you're getting the store stuff that's been saturated with Roundup
and all that other stuff, it's like where you're going for your sustenance is actually creating
more conditions in your body. Right. Right. And then that's like the same thing. I guess it's like,
yeah, it goes back to all the Roundup, like destroying your gut microbiome. Yeah. And a lot's
coming out on that the all the crops and everything being sprayed with Roundup and all that kind of
stuff. And I mean, of course, if you're ingesting poison, you're gonna have slow ill effects that
are probably untraceable to where it's actually coming from. Right. For sure. For sure. Yeah. And
that's like, I was talking to you the other day about the about the gut. Right? Yep. And how
certain people believe that that's the first brain, not the second brain. Yeah. I think that makes a
lot of sense. I do too. And I do. I know there's a connection. And there's a lot of researchers
and doctors realizing that and it's become more mainstream, right, like the gut brain axis and
all these researchers in Stanford and Harvard and things like that. But yeah, I mean, I think they're
looking at it from a scientific perspective. Yeah. But there's also like very ancient wisdom
regarding it. There is I've done with several different practitioners somatic therapy. And the
the first general question is, you know, you think of like a trauma or something, where do you feel
that in your body, and people feel it in different places. But for me, every time it's my stomach.
And the feeling is I just got punched in the stomach. And so it's interesting, like when I
think about my life, if there's a certain phone number, 323 area code or something, I like before
the phone even rings, I get like a punch in my stomach, and then I see it. And then it's like,
the body feels it like you were saying, prior to it registering in my brain or mind about what's
going on. And if we're more aware of that kind of thing, and then also knowing that the trauma stores
in there. So like the gut. So if you've got a lot of trauma that you haven't worked through a process,
that's a great place for it to store. Right, right. Right. Yeah, no, for sure. I mean,
because think about look how many people are lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, like all
the things that used to just be normal. Right. Now everybody has intolerances to those. So what's
creating that? Right, right. Yeah, no, I think. Yeah, I agree. And yeah, I mean, I haven't like,
totally figured it out. Yeah. But yeah, no, I mean, I just like, you know, I do recognize that I feel
a lot in my gut. Right? Like, yeah, not necessarily just the gut feeling. But when, yeah, like you said,
you know, like, if you get bad fucking news, right, you feel in your gut. Or if you're excited about
something, you get like butterflies in your stomach. Yeah. You know, or, or whatever. Right.
Like, yeah, you know, it's like, if you, I feel like, truly have like, if you truly like,
believe something, like have a conviction about something, right. You know, I think you feel it
like down to the gut, like, which I think is, is the core of the being. Right. And, and I've been
thinking about it a lot, like, okay, like the, the root chakra, right, is like, okay, like,
right around that area. Right. And then also, like, I've been thinking, like,
in CrossFit, they talk about core to extremity, like movements, and like, strength is all like
generating core to extremity. Right? Meaning, meaning it all originates in our, in our guts,
in our core. Right. And then goes outward. Exactly. All movement, right? It's just like.
So the tighter your core is, the stronger your core is, the stronger the rest of your body will be.
Right. Right. And if you don't have like core stability, you can't express strength in any kind
of way. Right. Sure. I think maybe that like applies and like emotionally, mentally, spiritually,
right? Yeah. Yeah. I was just listening to someone say that, that that is, that that's like,
that in Japan before the war, they, that they said that the root of thoughts, feelings,
the root of the being, right, you think with your gut. Right. Not with your head. And then that all
apparently changed after the war. But that's the reason why, did I say that? That's the reason why
during ritual suicide, they can cut their gut open. Right? Because that's the seed of the soul.
Which is, you know, pretty wild. Yeah. So why are they ritual suiciding as a,
just like a sacrifice of themselves for the gods? Like why, why are we Japan? Yeah. That was just
like deep rooted in the samurai culture. Yeah. Right. If you dishonored your family somehow.
If you brought shame to the family, right. That's better to, to commit suicide than to live in shame.
And that is, it's very interesting, I think. But they had the attitude that, that some things are
worse, were worse than death. Yeah. Right. Which I, like eternal life, like to be stuck in purgatory
for forever or something like that. Yeah. Like, you know, some things are more valuable than your
life, which I think is, you know, I don't, I don't think people should necessarily commit suicide, but
I think it's a valid concept that, you know, there are more important things than, you know,
your life, right? Right. Like your honor and your tribe, your family. Yeah. Purpose, the people you
love. Right. And that I think back in the days they used to, I think like 10,000 years ago, they said
like the mortality, you know, the medium, median age, like mortality was like 28 or something.
In Japan? Yeah. Like people would live till. Why? Because everyone's committing suicide? No, no.
But just, I mean, our lifespans have like gotten like longer, I guess. Way longer. Way longer. Yeah.
But that. What's, what do you think's like the, I mean, in Japan, I feel like they're healthier as a
culture. Are they living past a hundred? Yeah, they're, they're very healthy now. Yeah. Yeah.
But they, yeah, no, they, they, they would, they didn't take like life very, not necessarily, like
lightly. Right. Yeah. But they weren't afraid to like die. Whereas possibly now people are way
on the other side. Like they shifted to a point where it's like, they're way too afraid to die.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. As opposed to, you know, like not, you know, afraid to die at all. Right. Yeah.
And that is, you know, I don't know, like partly after the war, you know,
Japan had to be pacified. Right. So that they're no longer a threat. Right. So the
pendulum kind of shifted the other way. And they took out all the, who were the like, samurai hitmen?
What were they called? The Masagi or the. Like ninjas? No, not ninjas. No, the ones that,
they were like assassins, right? Like they were Japanese assassins, not the ninjas. You were
saying that they're almost, they were almost like the mafia of the, of Japan. Well, there is the,
there is the mafia. The Yakuza. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, they're like,
you know, being taken out too, but they have a very interesting history as well, where they,
you know, at one point they were like a shadow government. Right. Right. And they, you know,
they, I think continued to be a threat after the war. Right. So what happened was the war happened,
right? Japan lost and America occupied Japan. Right. So general MacArthur occupied Japan.
And I guess they were considered the, it's like the supreme allied command or something like that.
It was a very long name, but MacArthur represented like all the allied forces in Japan. So they
occupied Japan. But for the Japanese, it was kind of like too long to say. So they, they said that
it's called the GHQ, which just stands for general headquarters. Okay. Right. So that was the,
the government in place when the U S occupied Japan. And they, right, did a lot of things to,
like de-militarize Japan. Right. So they're no longer a threat to the world or whatever.
And then during that time, so there was like the U S government running Japan. And there was also
kind of the Yakuza running Japan, the Yasunos Mafia. Yeah. But they, you know, they, they,
of course continued to be a threat. So you think they still exist or they've just been highly
depleted. They, they still exist. But yeah, they, they're highly depleted. I feel like the same has
happened in New York. Like, do we hear about mobs over there anymore? No, I don't feel like, I feel
like they've been depleted there as well. For sure. Yeah. Right. And you know, they're like,
they're, they're menace to, you know, they're considered menace to society. Right. Right.
But sometimes I got to appreciate the, and we talked about this, like their code of honor,
like they're, you know, you cross this line, there will be death. Right. And it's like on you,
how you behave. And I feel like we don't have enough of that in our society where almost like
anything goes as long as you have a good excuse or a reason or mental health or addiction. It's like,
oh, I understand. Like, it feels like there's just not that same sort of rigid framework to keep
everybody like in, in the same field, like you don't mess, you don't screw other people over
because it's going to come back on you bad. Right. Right. So they're, yeah, for them, they, yeah,
because they're not like, they don't look, look at themselves as, as criminals. Yeah. They don't
consider themselves bad guys. They're like enforcers. They're not. They don't consider
themselves thugs. Right. They consider themselves like as, you know, like in their eyes, they're the
good guys who pays them like, who, who, who does, who, who like supports them? Well, they do. Well,
they have. Right. And what, how it happened was they, well, they've existed for a long time,
but they came in power after the war because they ran the black markets.
And then, you know, they, a lot of it, like they've, they've had a few, you know, different
rackets, but they, a lot of times they've provided protection. Right. Yeah. And, you know, they, all
the stores or all, all the vendors, wherever they would, they would provide them or they would make
them pay protection money. Right. Right. Which I don't think is any, any different than, you know,
than insurance industry. Yeah. They're just doing it in a different way. Yeah. It's exactly the same
or, or the IRS, you know, when that started in what, 1900, we didn't need to hire people to
tell us how to spend our money. Right. So it's, it's like taxation. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So in their eyes,
they thought they were like, you know, doing, doing good. Right. Right. And there's, there's
some validity to it because Japan's a very safe country and it, it remained very safe. Like there's
very, very minimal drugs. Right. And there's, you know, there's very minimal, like, our snatchers or,
you know, our guns, legal rapists or no, no, well there's yeah, there's like still, you know, violent
crimes, you sure guns, but yeah, they, they provided protection. Right. Yeah. And they kind of said,
okay, like, you know, you could do this, but you can't do this. You know, we will permit this type
of crime, but not this type of crime. So yeah, it's, it's very interesting. They're, they just kind of,
they've existed in a gray area. Yeah. Right. But yeah, no, I, I think, um, um, yeah, maybe, maybe this
country needs something like that. I mean, we need the mob to make a comeback. They made the best
movies like, yeah, we need some regulators out there, some thugs that are willing to do what they
got to do to protect this country. Yeah. Maybe, maybe there's, you know, some people that, you know,
need to like bypass the government. Right. Right. And go, okay, well, you know, the government's
being inefficient, you know, we're going to provide, uh, aid to, you know, the LA and Palisades or
whatever. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to make sure that, you know, no one's like looting the
fucking neighborhood or whatever. Right. Right. Yeah. Cause, you know, it's just like, oh, the
government's not doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Is that what's happening down there now? Uh, I mean, probably.
I've seen some things about looters. Yeah. Which is, yeah, which is pretty disgusting. Super
disgusting. Right. They got their insurance dropped, their house burned down, no water available.
And now whatever's left is being looted. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And they have nothing. Literally
nothing. Right. Right. Yeah. No. Yeah. These people, like there's people out there that
have no sense of like morality or honor. Right. Right. Fucking any kind of values. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, we saw that, uh, four years ago with Antifa and all that and just looting and
killing people and shop owners and gosh, that broke my heart when I would see the shop owners
trying to defend their property and being beat up and like, it's like, man, again, yeah, where's our
government? This is, to me, would be a point where the Yakuza or our military, someone step in and
protect the, you know, innocent citizens. Why are we permitting this? Right. Right. Yeah. I don't know.
I'm sure, I'm sure. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It benefits some people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I was
thinking like, um, this morning that, um, yeah. No, it's just like, like the American, you know,
like America, you know, like the culture, right? Like, we talk about culture a lot, like the company
culture or whatever. Yeah. Right. And what the American culture is. And there, like there is an
American culture, right? Yeah. And like part of it is like freedom and liberty. Right. Yeah. Um, and
there's more to it, but I feel like maybe there's like, you know, not enough of a culture right now
to bring about togetherness. Yeah. Right. It's just like, you know, like these f*****g looters,
like what do they believe in? Apparently they don't believe in, you know. They feel like somehow
I'm entitled to that. Right. Right. Those rich people don't need it. I'm entitled to this for
whatever reason. Even those rich people work their asses off their whole life to attain what they got.
Right. Yeah. It doesn't matter from their eyes. Right. They're owed or entitled somehow. Right.
Right. Yeah. And I'm, you know, I'm not like for like ultra-nationalism, you know, and I don't,
you know, I'm not like necessarily for the far right or anything like that, but also at the same
time, I think, you know, like the country needs a stronger culture, right? Yeah. To like bring about,
you know, togetherness and not division. Right. There's been a lot of division. There's been a
lot of division, but I think a lot of it starts, we talked about in school, like, you know, when I
was growing up, we did the Pledge of Allegiance. We actually knew what that story was. So like,
my kids are like, oh my God, mom, every time with that national anthem, do you really got to cry?
And I'm like, don't you know what this is about? Like this was a song for our freedom. And here's
the backstory. They had no clue what the backstory was. So how do you believe in something that you
don't even know why to believe in it? You're just being told to do it. And if you're most kids,
you're like, whatever, I'm going to do the opposite. But, and then we saw that with this generation
where they don't appreciate what they have because they don't realize how bad it could be
because they've been raised in a manner that, you know, like me, where you want to give yourself,
your kids everything you didn't have because in my mind, I suffered growing up from being poor.
But then you create this culture with your children where they don't realize
how lucky they are to have what they have because they just take it for granted because
it was always there. Right. Right. And I think to a large degree, like, there's a lot of,
yeah, like anti-American sentiment being pushed. Right. Right. Like, okay, for whatever reason.
I don't know, you know, just like America, you know, they're, they're the oppressors, you know,
and, and yeah, you know, they're, they're behind this and that. And, you know, like, take, yeah,
know, take away the pledge of allegiance, you know, take away, you know, But then you're,
now we're back to, we have a society that's controlled by the media. Right. Period. Like,
everything is so easily influenced by what they're infiltrated on. You're scrolling down
Instagram and you might not even pick like a left side or right side thing, but you just hover over
it for two seconds. Instagram recognizes that now you're being bombarded with nothing but that kind
of news to slant you diverse, like huge differences one way or the other. Like I saw something the
other day, I was like, oh my God, it was like one fact, but both sides interpreted it completely
in their favor. Right. And I was like, that is amazing to me how there's this one piece of fact
that could be interpreted into completely different ways, depending on which way you leaned,
right. It would support that viewpoint. Right. Right. Yeah. No, it's just kind of like, um,
it's like spiraled out of control. I don't know if it's like by design or not. For sure. So how do we
get that back in? How do we get in critical thinking so that people can realize what's happening
and not be pushed down, you know, sides that are dividing us. Right. Right. Well, I used to,
I used to think, and I mean, I still think like that, um, a lot of it is like
literacy, right. Yeah. Like, and like education, right. Um, and, you know, if you're, if you're
literate, right. And if you're able to like comprehend what you're reading, right. Um, then,
and, and, you know, then you could get that foundation, right. And then you could,
you're, you know, you're free to learn whatever you want, right. You could expose yourself to
whatever opinion, right. True. And you're able to like kind of free yourself. But then there's that
where they dumb that down too, because I mean, it was probably like 10 years ago, 15 years ago,
they implemented the no child gets left behind. Yeah. And, or else the teachers would lose their
job. So if they had a child that was struggling and they couldn't help them, the whole curriculum
would come down to meet the one child. So that that child didn't get left behind. So they didn't
lose their job. So really it was, you know, these things that are put into help really hurt the whole
thing. Right. That's what, um, uh, the guy, uh, Nassim Taleb something, right. He wrote the book,
and he wrote the book and came up with the concept of, uh, anti fragility.
And he talks about night, naive interventionalism, where like a lot of, you know, it's easy to
intervene. Right. And with the best of intentions, but how, you know, a lot of these interventions
actually makes things worse, not better. And he talks a lot about, like, uh, iatrogenic illness,
where, uh, like illnesses that are actually created by doctors, right. Like, okay, you go on for,
you know, well, there's that, what is that? I think it's Seinfeld, right. Where, you know, the guy
like goes in for surgery and crammed for like drops a tick pack or something and it fucking,
you know, lands like inside the person's, you know, somewhere. I didn't see that. Yeah. Yeah.
But yeah, a lot, a lot of like illnesses, you know, or like, like made worse by doctors,
by the medical community. For sure. Well, I know like I, I'm scared to death to go under the knife
because it seems like I feel like those doctors are nicking things way more often than they should.
Like they're, their room for error has gone really wide. Right. Right. Yeah. So yeah,
he talks about just like in general, just like, and he gives a lot of examples of like how, um,
like well, well intentioned interventions actually end up making things worse, right. Like
the no child left behind or like, you know, the therapeutic interventions in schools or, you know,
so that, you know, like all this like, okay, so the kid's feelings don't get her, right. So they grow
up to be whole and, you know, without any trauma, right, how it actually ends up damaging, you know,
children or, or even like. Because they're ill equipped to handle the world when they reach it.
Right. Yeah. Right. Exactly. He talks about like these studies and tonsillectomies where it's just
like, okay, like there was, um, you know, there was like, uh, these aren't exact, but like, there
were like 300 people selected, you know, and they were screened for tonsillectomies, right. And, and,
um, like 5% of the 300 needed that, you know, these doctors determined that 5% need these, uh,
tonsillectomies. So then they took these 5% and, you know, the, or no, they took the, the remainder
of the 95%, right. And they were screened by other different doctors. And then those doctors, uh, said,
oh, yeah, these 5% need tonsillectomies. And then they took, um, the remaining 95% of those people
and took them to different doctors and had them screened. And the doctor said these 5% need
tonsillectomies. Right. So, you know, so at the end of the day, it's just like, no matter, like
what population was selected, these doctors selected a certain amount to, you know, need instead,
they need tonsillectomies, right. And, and possibly to kind of like justify the profession. Yeah.
Right. But that's like an example he gave of naive interventionalism where like, you know, these well
intentioned interventions, right. Not well thought out though. Yeah. They actually made things worse.
You know, damn. Yeah. I felt like when I was growing up, a lot of people were getting
tonsillectomies. I was even like jealous because they got to like stay home for a week and eat
popsicles. I was like, God, I wish I get tonsillectomy, but I know I'm proud to stay. I still have my
tonsils. Right. Thank God. I didn't have to go under the knife for that, which again, you know,
yeah, how many people actually needed that removed, right. Or it was just an infection that would have
been fine with antibiotics. Right. Right. Right. And I, yeah, I don't, I don't, I wonder that, you
know, I, I don't think it's like that for our, our field. Yeah. Right. But I think a lot of fields
are like that, right. Like, you know, they, you know, you have to justify your profession. Right.
Right. So it's just like, and then they actually end up making things worse, like lawyers, right.
Like, okay, like, you know, people want to be lawyers because there's a lot of money behind it.
Yeah. But then, you know, like, okay, the, the more lawyers there are, the more lawsuits,
right. The more lawsuits, the more like, you know, like unnecessary policies get created and the,
you know, the more people have to cover their ass against liabilities. And it's kind of like really
spiraled out of hand. You know, it has, and we, we being in California is such a litigious thing. Like
everybody sues everybody for everything. Right. And then you, you know, if you, even if you're
innocent, unless you've got a ton of money to defend yourself. Right. You're screwed. It's
almost like who has more money is who ends up winning, not really who's right or wrong. Right.
And I've seen it in action where these lawyers will just posture against each other,
wreck up your bills while they're almost like just bitch fighting each other and nobody wins.
Right. But that's their job. They think that's what they're, they're supposed to do. Right. And
they got to justify their job. So they, right. Do you know, they throw out and do all kinds of
crazy shit. Right. And that system's like completely fucking broken, right? Yeah. I mean,
you know, it's not, it doesn't seem that much about like justice or whatever. Right. Yeah. Maybe we
should all just go to like people's court. Right. No lawyers, just defend yourself. State your case,
state your case. A judge, hopefully a good one says, yeah, here's the facts and let's go there.
Right, right. Yeah. And I'm not like, I'm not a huge fan of like, you know, the snitch culture.
What with witnesses and things like that or. Well, just in general, right. It's kind of,
you know, right. Like that's where that like, you know, all the, you know, civil suits and this
and that it's all like, it's kind of like snitch, snitch culture. Right. It could be. Yeah. I tell
my kids, you know, like, don't, don't, you know, knock it off. Do not tell on your sister. Yeah. I
do not want to hear it, work it out. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, that's good. Right. But again,
like, it kind of goes back to like, you know, the naive interventionalism, you know, like. Right.
Like. You gotta allow natural consequences sometimes. Everybody is going to have the
same outcome every single time and you can't cater everything for one person, it's got to appeal for
the masses. Right. Yeah. Right. Right. And I see that like, in like, Cota school, right. Yeah. Kid
school, where I'm just like, Hey, do you play baseball at school? He's like, No, we're not
allowed to. Right. Because they're afraid of kids getting hurt. Really? Yeah. No, they can't play
baseball. They can't wrestle. They could throw the football. But a lot of time, a lot of times,
they're not allowed to run, you know, and all these like, all these rules, right. To prevent
kids from getting hurt. Wow. Right. But it's like, well, then what? Now you're gonna you know,
they. Well, then what is you have all these kids with all this excess energy, no way to release it,
then the teacher is unable to handle them. You need to put your kid on ADHD medication because
they're unruly. Right. But it's like, No, just let them go run like 15, 15 laps. Like, that'd be cool.
Right. No, no, we can't let them run because that's dangerous. Right. Right. Yeah. That's awful.
Yeah, it is awful. But then, you know, again, like, and then it's just like,
and, you know, going back to like the Smith snitch culture thing, you know,
I don't want my kids like, right, like, like snitching on each other, because that's the result.
Right. Right. Like, oh, so and so did this to me. And then now next thing you know,
that's against the rules. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and again, yeah, if you have somebody who's
unable to like dissect and see is this an isolated venture. Right. But it but then it goes back to
the liability everybody's so fearful of liability, because if that parent gets upset, they're going
to get the school's gonna get sued, I'm gonna lose my job. So you try to keep everybody in this like
bubble, right? Prevent that? Right. Right. Out of fear. Right. Exactly. Exactly. No, yeah, that's
like things have like spiraled out of hand. Yeah. And in a lot of different ways. Yeah. Right. Safe,
safety ism or whatever. Yeah, dude, I look at like the old playground when I was little, it was like
these metal slides and then Reno get like 100 degrees. Yeah. And I'm in shorts. So I'm going
down 100 degree metal slide and like peeling the skin off the back of my legs. We had those merry
go rounds. I wear super janky with rust all over and we'd fly off. Yeah, exactly. It's wings. You
know, sometimes they broke like it just was it was just part of being a kid in life. And yeah, it's
like opposite of that these days. Right. It's just yeah, a lot of it's fear based, I think.
For sure. Like a culture of fear. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, nowadays, I'd be more worried about
my kid, you know, sliding down the slide with all the micro plastics. Give me the old metal slide.
No, right. I mean, lesser looking at but yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of kind
of crazy. Yeah, it's a different a different society. And it'll be interesting to see what's
like 50 years from now. You know, does it keep moving in this ultra safe, right? Like overly
protective, right? Almost to the point of inaction because anything you do has like a harmful
consequence. So you just I mean, it kind of has looks of what kids sit at home play video games
all day. Right. Parents are okay with it. It's safe. They're here. They're not going anywhere.
I can see them. I'll just bring them food every now and then and we're good. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
And yeah, Jonathan Haidt. He's he's a what is he? I think he's a well, he's an author, but he wrote
the book. He wrote The Cuddling of the American Mind. And then he wrote he's like he wrote a book
about cell phones. But you know, he's he's like a proponent of just free play. Right. And there's
adults or kids for kids. Okay. Right. And he talks about there's an organization called Let Grow,
where they're they're all about, I think they call it free range parenting,
which is a cool concept, I think. Right. Of Yeah, free range kids. Right. Let them fucking, you know,
free range. Right. Gauge free kids. Yeah. Let them like, let them roam, do whatever, you know,
don't, you know, don't over supervise them. Don't helicopter parent. Right. Let them like,
go down to the store. Let them like, you know, do. Yeah. Accomplish like these little challenges,
right? Whether it's like, let them walk home from school. Right. Let them, you know, go to the mall.
Yeah, it's so crazy, because I did all that as a kid. I took the city bus, and I walked five
miles and I did all of it by myself. I went to the store, I did all that. But I was not the same way
with my kids. You know, that's when the website came out for like all the pedos. And then then I
were like, did I f'd up and did the search in my neighborhood, and they had to register. And then
I'm like, dude, I can let my kid go to the store. There's a pedophile living right across the road.
And so I wasn't necessarily a helicopter parent, but I definitely didn't allow my kids to do the
shit I used to do. Talks about the history of that. Right. Well, how that happened about,
I don't know if it was America's Most Wanted. Yes. Was it? That's where it started. Yeah.
Yeah. Where like his kid was kidnapped and killed. Yeah, that traumatized me as a kid,
because I was his kid's age when that happened. And so I was around when that show came out. Yeah.
That came out. And then the milk carton thing came out. And then it made it seem like, you know,
a kid goes out, they're going to get f'kin kidnapped, right? Right. Like it does, you know,
guaranteed, 100% they're going to get kidnapped. Don't let them out.
Exactly. Yeah. We grew up in a bit of fear over that shit. But now it's almost like the opposite
where kids are disappearing all the time and everyone's like, "Hmm, that's weird. I don't
know how that happened." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So now that's the, it's almost sung completely the other
way. But is that the actual case or is it just like another fear-mongering thing? True. True.
I guess some of this shit will never really know. No matter how much gets exposed, does it really
or is it even real or is it more just means of being fearful? Right. Right. And that's kind of
like what I've been thinking about that too. Right. And like I said, I've been studying a lot of
like thing, the Japanese stuff, right? And a lot of Japanese history. And I've been listening to
this one podcast, which is they interview World War II survivors, right? These old people. And
it's super cool. Like listen to them talk. And the horrific things that they went through.
One of the ones I listened to was a kamikaze pilot, right? They didn't call him that,
but they were suicide bombers, right? And the way he talked about it, right? He was going to do this
for his country, right? Yeah. And he talked about, you know, he talked about like doing it for his
loved ones. They didn't think much of it, right? And they were just going to pass away and like
was fleeting, just like the cherry blossoms, right? Like beautiful cherry blossoms just like, you know,
like they're, you know, they bloom, right? And they're like gorgeous, right? But they're very,
they don't last forever. They're very fleeting and then they just kind of like, you know, fall away,
right? Very gracefully. So just like that, like these people didn't really think much about their
death, right? They were willing to like fling their lives away for a cause, right? Whether it was right
or not, that was the attitude. So spiritually, did they believe they would just be reincarnated
or did they believe they'd go to heaven or hell or purgatory? Yeah, they believe that they would
go to heaven, right? But it's also interesting because like that's what I'm saying about like
the culture of fear, right? And the Buddhists believe that they, some Buddhists like meditate
on death, right? Because that's the ultimate fear. And one, you know, they meditate on death,
meditate on death, meditate on death with the idea of extinguishing the fear of death, right? Because
to extinguish the fear of death is to, you know, free yourself from the ultimate fear and all fears,
right? In general, and that's like very liberating. And so it's just like interesting because like,
you know, people control people by fear, right? Fear mechanisms like fear culture, fear,
fear-mongering, right? Yeah. But also like, you know, how people have, like without religion,
right? Now, you know, there's like very materialistic people that, you know, believe,
right? Like, oh, you die, you die, right? That's it. Yeah. And they're very like,
they have like nihilistic views and things like that. You know, so they're very like afraid of
death, right? Right. And then that like also like, the more people are like that, the more, you know,
like the culture of fear, like, you know, you could propagate the culture of fear. Sure. Right? Yeah.
And then I think like things spiral out of hand, like, you know, and get worse, like as in some
parts of like the current society, right? Oh, for sure. I mean, we saw that with the pandemic.
That fear was insane. People literally thought if they got exposed, it was instant death. Like,
I hadn't seen in my lifetime, fear in a culture like that before. It was wild. Right. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. And we like, we kind of promote like the culture of fear, right? Through like, I mean,
you know, we're like, people are becoming more and more afraid, right? Like without like, okay,
you know, we provide all this like safety, safetyism in schools, right? We create like the
safe culture, right? We create like, you know, safe spaces, right? And yeah, we, you know, like,
we're afraid of like germs, right? We're afraid of viruses. We're afraid of the next pandemic.
We're afraid of the next war. We're afraid of. Property. Losing our house. Losing our car.
Running out of gas. You name it. Right. Our children being kidnapped. Yeah. And everything
like that, you know? Yeah. We like, you know, perpetually live in fear, right? Yeah. Whereas,
like, maybe the solution is, right? I think a lot of the solution is, right? Well, we used to talk
about confronting, right? And just being able to like, yeah, face our fucking fears, right? And not
be afraid, and you know. Yeah. So when I almost died two years ago by myself, it was like some
lasting PTSD. And it like affected me pretty hard. And then the following year, there was a
bunch of stuff happening where I thought we were going to war. Like all the signs were there. There
was emergency broadcast signals. There was all this other stuff going on. I was seeing what I
wanted to see out of fear, right? But I had to go through that process. Like you talked about the
Buddhist, where I had to really meditate on and confront, okay, maybe you are going to die. So what?
Like, and it was almost a moment of radical acceptance to break that fear of dying. Because I
was sure I was going to die. For me, more specifically, I was going to die alone. Like,
that was like that because of what had happened. And I really just had to come to terms with like,
you may or you may not. You can or cannot, but you can't, I can't live my life in fear of dying
anymore. Like, this is not a way to live. No. Right. Right. And it makes, and you would think,
oh, it makes you appreciate life so much more, but it takes a while to get to that side of it
when you're traumatized by the fear of thinking that this is inevitable and it's going to happen.
Right. Right. Right. Yeah. And I think that's just like, kind of like goes back to like, also,
like, fear is like another thing that goes back to the gut. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I
sick to my stomach. Like, that's the feeling I get if there is a particular circumstance that's
sparing the shit out of me. I feel sick to my fucking stomach. I can't eat. I'm like, you know?
Right. Right. Yeah. Or like in people actually like, like, probably, I think, manifest certain
things. Right. In that regard, like, and I like, I went through a period where I was like, I was very
stressed and I was thrown up a lot. They diagnosed me with IBS. Right. Which is just like, so common.
It's like, anything wrong with your stomach is IBS. They don't know what's going on. Yeah. We're
just going to say it's IBS. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But I ultimately, I think it was stress. Yep. Yeah.
But yeah, I think people get like, you know, when they're like psychologically stressed or
messed up, right? Like whether it's like fear, anxiety, or, you know, depression or whatever,
you know, people can, you know, either constipated. Yeah. Or they get diarrhea. Yeah. Yeah. Like,
really fucks up their digestion. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm still, I'm standing by, I really believe that
like cancer is a disease created by resentment or, you know, long held anger, betrayal. Like, I feel
like that creates cancer in people's bodies because there seems to be a similarity that I've noticed
in people that have gotten it, that have been hanging on to something that they shouldn't, some
sort of toxicity that ultimately ends up resulting in a cancerous situation in the body. Right, right.
Yeah. Yeah. No, I was, I was talking to some people the other day and I mean, it wasn't like,
you know, I was just kind of messing around, but I was like, do you really think cigarettes cause
cancer? Okay. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I was just like, I just brought it up just to, you know,
talk about it. Yeah. I don't smoke anymore. So what was the opinion? Um, well, I mean, some people
were pretty adamant about, yes, you know, absolutely. Yeah. But then, you know, I was saying,
well, my grandfather, you know, for example, right? He, he lived super healthy until, he was super
healthy until his nineties and he just like passed away in his sleep. Right. Um, but he was, he was
a chain smoker the whole time, the whole time. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Bob Hope cigars and a glass of
scotch all the way to 105 or whatever he lived to. Right. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I was like, hey,
I'm not, I'm not promoting smoking, you know, especially to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Especially
because there could be carcinogens. Yeah. There's factors, right. But then it comes back to that
gut health, right? Like if you're in a healthy state of mind, your body maybe fends it off better.
Whereas somebody who's struggling with issues is more susceptible to those effects. Right. Or, and
also like I was saying, um, that like, you know, partly I think it's like not giving a fuck. Yeah.
Right. A lot of these, you know, I, I mean, I've seen these interviews where people, you know, are
right interviewed, like these old, old people is sent to generians or whatever, like, Hey, what's
the secret to a long life, you know? And they're like, yeah, you know, like, all right. Yeah. I
smoked and you know, drank every day. Right. Yeah. And, you know, but the, I, the attitude I feel like
I get is like, oh, they don't really give a fuck. You know, there's a very carefree, right. Yeah. I
think maybe that's like a part of it, right? Not the fact that they smoke cigarettes or, you know,
or drink a glass of wine every single day or whatever. You know, I think a lot of it's like,
you know, they're very carefree people. Yeah. Well, and I think a lot of that comes back to
guilt and shame, you know, if you're doing it, but then you're feeling guilty about it or like
you're doing something wrong, then yeah, it's going to mess you up. Right. If you do it, like you said,
right. Unapologetically, just like my shirt says, then I don't think it has the same effect on you.
I mean, as long as you're not hurting somebody else or your actions, aren't impeding somebody
in some way, but if it's something that you're doing, you get joy out of, and you don't judge
yourself to think you're bad for it. I don't think it has the same effect. Right. For sure. Yeah. Yeah.
And it was funny because I went through like a period in my life where I'm like, oh, like,
you know, I was telling my grandfather, like, you need to stop smoking and you gotta do it. And,
you know, it's not good for you. You're going to die. And I was like, high into cigarettes and shit
like that. You know, how pissed would he get? I don't know. I don't know. You didn't carry out
other ones. Right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know, I was doing it because I was like, I cared about him.
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, no. I mean, ultimately, it's just like,
yeah, I think it's like, you didn't really go fucking to help them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I
firmly believe in like those vibrations of the different like things like shame, guilt, you know,
that sort of stuff being very low vibrational. And that's where, you know, I don't want to get
too much into religion, but how sometimes religion, they control you with shame and guilt
and fear. And so that's a manipulation tool, but then it can really mess with you because you're
not in control of yourself. You know, you don't have free will anymore. Right. Or if you do do
things you like, but suddenly it's being deemed bad. Now you feel bad because people are judging
you for doing it, even though you get pleasure out of it, you like it, or you don't have any
feelings on it, but there's judgment there. So then all of a sudden becomes a bad thing and then
you internalize it and then you have illness and problems and things like that. Right. Right. Yeah.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I don't know how to. I think that you got to have healthy, I mean,
like we talked about, you got to have a healthy body, mind, spirit, and foundation. Like you should
be in balance of all in order to have a healthy lifestyle, I think. Yeah. I don't think I feel
very guilty about my experience. Well, you're not doing a whole lot that you shouldn't be doing
either. You know, you're not like partaking in stuff that, you know, hurting your body or hurting
others. So why would you? Yeah, no, I think I should more. You want to be more rebellious?
Yeah, right. I mean, you got to like, you know. Yeah. There's healthy ways to do that, right?
Like, you know, again, you can't let fear stop you from like doing stuff, right? Right. I feel
like, you know, I should not that I don't think I'm like, necessarily deathly afraid of anything,
but right? Like you want to like, you know, like, people should live their fucking lives,
right? To the fullest. Right. Right. Yeah. As long as they're not hurting anyone else or themselves
and their actions are doing more good than bad. Right. I don't even say there's an acceptance
level of bad. It's just, again, who determines if that's bad or not. Right. Government, society,
religion, each other, like what's right. What's true for you. Right. You might be totally okay
with that. That's what I think. I think like a lot of it is like, is is the government
or whatever. Right. And that that is one of the things that like, I'm like, I have my personal
morality. Yeah. But you know, as as time has gone on, I have less and less respect for the law.
Yeah. Right. Really? Yeah. Less respect than you did as a teenager? Because I feel like I have no
respect as a teenager. I actually respect the law now, not the government, the law. I mean, I
appreciate cops, probably because we know several now and I see them trying to help people who need
help. Yeah. I don't like bad cops. But I don't know. I've just kind of realized, like,
you know, it's always a very fine line between what's legal and what's not legal.
Right. And it depends on who does it. Like what and what position you're in.
And how much money you have. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. The money thing. Yeah. Exactly.
Epstein or all that. You're getting away with literally murder and as long as you got, or O.J.
Right. You got enough money to defend yourself, you will get away with it. Right. Right. Yeah.
Right. I mean, not necessarily like, you know, again, like I, you know, I have my personal
morality, right. I, you know, and I will never intentionally hurt an innocent person. Right.
Right. And I'll be very careful, like, to not unintentionally hurt, you know, some people or
whatever. Right. Right. But I think it depends on like, right. Like, say for example, again,
you know, a lot on the media is the insurance industry. Right. Yeah. They're under fire right
now. Right. With what's his name? Luigi, Luigi Mangione or whatever. Yep. Right. And Brian,
whatever, the CEO of UHC. Yeah. And, you know, again, it's just like, yeah, insurance, I think
is kind of a legal racket. Right. And who determine whether it's legal or not? Right. Right.
And, you know, that's the law. Yeah. Right. The law says it's legal. Yeah. Right. And you're allowed
to do that. But, you know, under that, you know, under that law, you're also like hurting, potentially
hurting a lot of like, innocent people. Right. Right. Well, that's where I get frustrated. Like,
we have people on the other side determining whether our clients, you know, deserve more days.
Right. And I'm like, what kind of training does this person have to make those decisions? Right.
Right. You're literally got somebody's life in your hands. And if you tell the insurance,
hey, this guy had a good day, they're like, great, discharge them. Right. You know, you got the
required products. Like, well, no, they have one good day. Right. That's, that's all we're looking
for here. But again, who's making that decision? It's not doctors or nurses on the other side. It's
some minimum wage worker at Blue Cross that's deciding people's fates. Right. No training. You
know, I mean, to some degree, they know all the codes and shit like that. But, yeah. But yeah,
no, I'm just saying like, you know, the law in terms of like, you know, okay, you're going to
determine the rules. Who says that I have to follow your rules? They're not my rules. They're
your rules. Right. Right. You know, so it's just like, you know, like the amount of respect I have
for you know, their rules is very limited. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So let's end off there.
Tatsa still rebellious all these years later, if not more so now than ever.
But that's okay. Yeah. You're not out there doing harmful things to people. So,
oh, I mean, as long as it's like, grounded, right? And, you know, like my personal morals and,
you know, I'm living without shame and yeah, right. And I have I'm following my own whatever code or
whatever. Yeah. But see, that's a tricky one. You ever watch Dexter? He has a code. He still
feels very justified in murdering people. But they're bad people. So in his code, he's fine with
this. He's doing society a favor. Right. And you like you like Star Wars. Love Star Wars. Right.
But that's the same thing. Yeah, they have their own code. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the the good guys are,
you know, are the Ruffles. It's true. We love that. That's how I was raised. Yeah. Yeah.